


How I Learned to Love the Wild Horse

by Romulus_Firewine



Category: Ranma 1/2, Totally Spies
Genre: Angst, Crossover, Dating, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Love, Misunderstandings, Multi, NSFW, Oral Sex, Secrets, Sex, Teasing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-08 06:53:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 171,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13452837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romulus_Firewine/pseuds/Romulus_Firewine
Summary: Having found out some distressing information about his life, and sick of the trainwreck it has become, Ranma runs from Nerima to Beverly Hills.  What happens when he gets there?  Well, you know what they say about, "The more things change".





	1. There's Like, a First Time for Everything!

This is my first posting on AooO so this'll be your first version of How I Learned to Love the Wild Horse, rather than dealing with the re-writes that I had to make in the other places where I posted it before now. 

As is standard procedure, I do not own the series Totally Spies or Ranma 1/2 and I'm shamelessly using characters from both for this story.

That's shameless on several levels, because this is a NSFW/Lemon fic and there's gonna be lewd shenanigans in pretty much every chapter, though I can say with an honest heart and a smile that I made SURE to keep the plot from descending into "Hi, you're hot, let's fuck" dreck.

* * *

 How I Learned to Love the Wild Horse  
Chapter 1: **There’s like, a First Time for Everything!**

“….Ron Sato?”

“Here.”

A young man, whose dark hair was tied back into a pig-tail, raised his hand tiredly.  The professor cocked an eyebrow at the new student’s hangdog expression and the dark circles under his eyes, and ‘tsk’ed from the look of a boy suffering from a hangover.  If the new transfer student from Tokyo couldn’t handle the workload, it’d be reflected in his grades soon enough.  Granted, so far the boy’s performance had been good, but he had been here for only a week.  Putting thoughts of possible problem student out of his mind, the teacher ran down the rest of the names on his attendance sheet.

While the professor finished his role call with _‘Alexandra Vasquez…’_ the boy calling himself Ron Sato rubbed his eyes and wondered, (How long is it going to be before I can go to sleep without worryin’ that _they’re_ gonna show up?) as a chirpy voice behind him called _‘Here!’_ He shook his head as he dismissed the memories of his past aside for a moment, turning his attention onto the math lesson and resumed his battle against the desire to nod off.

Sitting a little ways away, the last student to be called by the professor, a pretty Latina girl with black hair and brown eyes gave Bev High’s newest transfer student a concerned look and turned to the girls sitting next to her.  The first was a redhead whose straight hair hung past her shoulders and refused to move her green eyes away from the pig-tailed teen, while the other was a blonde with a shorter haircut who also unapologetically stared at Ron Sato.  Except the latter’s happy sigh belied a different reason for her attention than the former’s.

“What do you think is wrong with him?” Alex asked Samantha, while Ranma, whose wore a red and black chinese silk ensemble today, stifled a yawn with moderate success.

“He looks tired,” Sam offered thoughtfully. “But I can’t imagine why.” Turning to her left, she asked, “Did something happen—” Then groaned in exasperation as she noticed Clover’s relative inattention while the blonde gave another pleased sigh.  Unwilling to wait for the third girl to finish eyeing the man-candy, Sam lightly dope-slapped the blonde and hissed, _“Clover!”_ into her ear, making Clover wince and shoot the redhead a sharp glare.

“What was that for, Sammy!?” Clover whispered indignantly.

“You're supposed to be _watching_ Ron!  Not _ogling_ him!”

“I can do both!”

Sam growled in annoyance, while Alex patted the redhead on the back with a nervous attempt at a placating smile. “Don’t worry, Sammy.  Clover will get over this ‘bad boy’ thing soon enough.”

“ _Ron._ ” Sam spared Alex a narrow eyed look, though it’s obvious that most of her ire was directed at Clover as she replied with quiet frustration, “Isn’t a _bad boy._  He’s—”

00000

“—very dangerous.”

The three spies sat on the couch in the debriefing room of W.O.O.H.P. while their handler/boss Jerry gestured to a large monitor on the wall behind him, which displayed an image of a dark-haired, pigtailed Japanese boy wearing a chinese-styled red silk shirt and black pants and a similarly dressed red-headed girl.

“He doesn’t look too dangerous.” Alex cocked her head quizzically as she noted the confident, easy-going smile on the boy’s face.

“Because bad guys always have to look ugly, or mean?” Sam asked with a touch of sarcasm before focusing her attention on Jerry. “Why’s he dangerous?”

“Unfortunately, at this point we don’t know,” the grey-haired, british spymaster replied with obvious concern. “Agent Britney was sent into the Nerima ward of Tokyo last month, as we believed Myrna Beesbottom went there for some nefarious reason.  While she eventually succeeded in re-capturing Miss Beesbottom…well…”

On cue, Jerry’s supercomputer assistant G.L.A.D.I.S. swapped out the picture of their target with the interior of a WOOHP medical facility, where the notorious ex-agent was strapped to an examining table.  While it looked like a restraint to prevent escape at first, the thick-set, auburn haired woman’s head was rolling lazily from side-to-side and there was an unfocused look in her eye, and the wide giddy smile on her face brought the image together of someone who either needed to fire their dealer, or give him a raise.

“Wow…” Clover watched as Myrna started drooling a la Homer Simpson with considerable surprise. “She looks totally wasted.”

“I'd say she looks more like you when you heard about that sale on Prada purses.” Sam added with a smirk while Alex snickered into her hand.

“It was half off, Sammy!” The blonde snapped defensively. “ _Half_ , and I will apologize for _nothing!_ ”

“Ladies, if you don't mind,” Jerry waited until he had the girl’s attention before continuing his briefing. “The point is, Myrna has been under the effects of some kind of chemical cocktail that we are _still_ trying to synthesize an antidote to and according to Britney, Miss Beesbottom came into contact with the substance when she ran afoul of a group known as the ‘Nerima Wrecking Crew’.” He turned his head and nodded to G.L.A.D.I.S., prompting the image on-screen to change again..

The three spies gaped at a quartet of images of varying quality, but all of which showed some form of destruction.  One showed what looked like a school classroom, but with human-sized ‘mouse hole’ through 2 walls on opposite sides of the room, as though whatever had made it had simply plowed straight through.  Another was from a seemingly abandoned zoo as the cages were empty, though the wrecked and in some cases cleanly sliced iron bars made it clear that what happened was more likely an impromptu jailbreak rather than a loss of funding.  The third was an athletic field, either soccer or football, but unfit to be used for either sport due to the almost perfectly circular crater at least 40 feet in diameter and 3 feet deep smack in the middle of it.  And the last picture was the top of a mountain which had been reduced to rubble, with chunks either torn out or sliced away in a manner that was neither natural nor any sort of controlled demolition.

Jerry nodded in approval as each of the three girls straightened up and their expressions became more businesslike. “According to Agent Britney, Myrna was attempting to cover up her own nefarious plans in the background of the chaos that has been wrought on Japan by this so called Wrecking Crew, but as you can tell, that didn’t work out for her very well.”

“No kidding,” Alex agreed with a nervous gulp.

“Britney is still in Japan and trying to acquire as much information on the NWC as possible, but what she has discovered is that this organization has caused more property damage to Japan than most natural disasters and the boy calling himself Ron Sato is actually Ranma Saotome, who is at the center of the group's activities and quite possibly their leader.  Unfortunately, Ranma slipped away from her following Beesbottom’s capture—”

“—and then he showed up here.” Sam finished Jerry’s sentence as she eye’d the pictures critically and suppressed the desire to shiver. “Do we know why?”

“Absolutely none,” Jerry admitted regretfully. “The fact that we weren’t even aware of this group's existence until now speaks volumes to their abilities regarding subtlety and stealth.” The older man’s professionalism slipped for a moment as he grumbled, mostly to himself. “You’d _think_ a problem of this caliber would have been brought to our attention before it was knocking on our doorstep, but there’s no use crying over it now.”

While her companions were focused on the scenes of destruction, Clover was finding the giddy buzz of looking at a hot slab of beefcake wearing off now that the supposed perpetrator of said destruction wasn’t in view.  Partially to get back to the show, but also to test the waters for any possible SNAFUs, she asked pointedly, “So like, who was the girl?”

Both Sam and Alex caught the true motivation behind Clover’s request, or at least the more hormonal one as the redhead sighed and Alex chuckled nervously.  Jerry didn’t bat an eye as the display returned to Ranma and the mysterious redhead, and Clover’s cheeks warmed with desire as her eyes once again traced the athletic, cockily smiling teenager’s body from head-to-toe.

“She is an unknown,” Jerry replied smoothly while making a mental note to have the more… _liberated_ of his agents be given an evaluation sometime soon, to make sure she didn’t let her impulsiveness negatively impact her performance. “Except that Agent Britney has said she and Ranma are _‘irrevocably linked, like a brother and sister’_ and for security reasons, the two of them are never in the same place at the same time.”

Clover’s eyes lit up joyfully as she internally cheered, (Beefcake’s back on the market!)

“It is a lucky coincidence that Ranma transferred to your school, as it will be easier for you three to keep him under close observation, and prevent him from bringing the same kind of destruction he wrought on Nerima Tokyo to Beverly Hills.” Jerry leaned forward, making sure that each of this best agents could see his severe expression, including the easily distracted blonde as he added solemnly,  “This is a very important mission for you girls.  Until Britney returns and gives a full debriefing or we discover an antidote for whatever concoction was inflicted on Miss Beesbottom, you are to keep Ranma under observation at all times and prevent _any_ contact with possible members of the Nerima Wrecking Crew.”

00000

Having finished restating why ogling a possible terrorist was a bad idea for her teammates, Sam focused her attention on Clover, who looked more _annoyed_ than chastised for the stick-up-the-ass attitude from her team-leader and bestie. “Anyway, you’re on monitoring duty, so why does Ranma look tired?” The redhead asked expectantly. “Did something happen last night?”

At that, Clover blushed lightly and gave a small giggle, which made Sam give her a flat look and Alex tilt her head curiously as the blonde replied, “Well…”

00000

“Mmm…” Clover moaned as her eyes ran across Ranma’s bare chest, her nipple poking the palm of her hand as she lightly massaged her breast, biting her lip as the pleasurable warmth slowly spread across her chest.

Monitoring duty, by all rights, should have been a chore for the least-professional of the 3 spies.  But Clover had insisted she be given the chance to ‘examine’ the supposed supervillain, to which Sam agreed if only because she assumed the blonde’s sudden infatuation would guarantee that Clover wouldn’t slack off.  Sam was correct, though the reason _why_ the blonde had taken to her duty like a duck to water was one that would have sent the leader of the three spies into a fit.  Both at Clover for being a hormonal teenager and herself for not seeing her bestie’s unprofessional motivations from the start.

Normally, getting up at 6 in the morning to double-check the security footage from Ranma’s apartment would be chore, as even Clover should have been bored to tears from repeatedly watching someone else sleep peacefully.  Even if he was an attractive boy.  But that first night when Ranma stripped his shirt off and gave Clover a full frontal view of the musculature he was hiding from the world, her interest had piqued like a tea-kettle.

Sometimes, Ranma slept in a wife-beater t-shirt, though this morning was not one of those and Clover was using the vision of the pig-tailed boy wearing only a pair of boxers as fuel for a session of voyeuristic self-love.  While such an indecent act crossed a line from mere observation and an ill-chosen crush, she wasn’t under any such delusion to think her affections for Ranma ran deeper than a purely physical attraction.

In short, Clover knew she wasn’t a creepy stalker, just a girl watching a guy who was hot as _hell_ and having a quick schlick session while fantasizing about all the ways she wanted to fuck the possible super-villain’s brains out.

Thus she was sitting on her bedroom floor, bare naked and legs spread while she watched a small TV that was wired to a few cameras hidden around Ranma’s home. Clover softly moaned, “Oh yeah…” as she rubbed her mons, watching Ranma’s well-defined pectoral muscles rise and fall in time with his deep breathing.  Her fingers were hovering just over her clitoral hood as she teased herself a little, building herself up to a good howling orgasm while she imagined running her chest across Ranma’s firm pectorals.

Her index finger dipped down and slowly started circling her clit as she wondered how his abs would feel under her hands, which lead to thinking about how they would feel under her tongue, and then the boy-crazy blonde’s hips were twitching slightly as that train of thought filled her mind with the _taste_ the transfer student’s throbbing manhood.  A warmth was building in her loins and Clover flushed with anticipation as her eyes drifted lower, turning their attention on his blue boxer shorts and wondering just what kind of package he could deliver to her front gate.  Or the back door too, since she was no stranger to anal play and that could be fun once in awhile too.

Then something happened that made the horny superspy reconsider her appraisal of Ranma’s capabilities.

Specifically, if she could handle him making deliveries to the rear without adequate preparation.

If she hadn’t been staring at his boxers at that moment, Clover wouldn’t have noticed the slight bulge in his groin becoming more defined as his body decided it was time to go camping and started pitching a tent.  It wasn’t the first time Ranma had gotten morning wood during her observations, and she’d been disappointed repeatedly as he’d never taken care of it when in range of her electronic eye.  As the fabric strained against his unseen length, the blonde moaned in wanton need and moved her hand lower, sliding the tip of her finger between her petals as she wished she could see the Saotome family jewels and his royal scepter.

As if some kindly deity had heard her plea, Clover’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped, because the particular pair of boxers that Ranma was wearing had lined up _just_ right for the tip of his dick to slowly peek out through the front flap.

“Oh my God,” Clover breathed in excitement and awe as more of the pigtailed boy’s manhood came into view, his swollen head soon followed by a thickly veined shaft that steadily grew harder before her eyes. “Please!” She pleaded with a needy whimper to whatever God was listening while her finger slid deeper into her sex. “Please tell me there's more!”

While she seemed to have the ear of the divine this morning, whatever force governed the universe decided to keep her expectations from being totally unrealistic, which is why Ranma's dick stopped growing before it reached anywhere near John Holmes-ian length.  But it was more than enough for the experienced girl to estimate the size of the meal she was hungry for.  Seeing about 4 inches sticking out of the gap in his underwear, Clover internally calculated Ranma to be at _least_ 7 inches in length, possibly 8.

(And it's so _thick_ !) she moaned softly while noting that his swollen head resembled a large plum.  Tingling sparks radiated out from her sex and she added her middle finger to the deep probing of her tender folds. (Oh God, I think I can see it curving a little…) her toes curled as she silently cheered, (That would hit **all** the right spots!)

Now having more than enough to work with, Clover dispensed with the build-up and drove her digits deep into her dampened nethers, gasping and panting as she mimicked the pace for her and Ranma's fantasy coupling.  Her fingers pistoned as she pressed the tips against her G-spot, rubbing that sensitive area along the frontal wall of her womanhood.  As her depths spasmed and gripped her fingers, Clover felt the waves breaking and quickly reached out and grabbed a nearby pillow, which served the purpose she’d selected it for as she bit down and muffled her joyous scream of release.

She slowly pulled her soaked fingers from her slit as she came down from her orgasmic high, breathing heavily as she cast a warm, lustful look at the unwitting cause of her sexual satisfaction.  As she brought her fingers to her lips and delicately licked her juices from them, Clover purred, “Oh yeah.  I’m _totally_ gonna fuck you!”

Her hands clean, Clover smiled as she looked down at the wet spot on the towel underneath her ass and congratulated herself on having the foresight to plan ahead.  But the boy-crazy blonde’s ego stroking ended when she caught a bit of movement from the screen and looked up to see Ranma stirring in his sleep.  She cocked an eyebrow curiously, the draining hormones clearing her mind as she wondered why he was getting up so early this morning.

The Clover blinked as Ranma went from ‘fitfully half-conscious’ to wide-awake in half a heartbeat, not-quite leaping out of bed and pressing his back against the wall next to his bedroom window.  His wide eyes and pale face spoke volumes to his mental state as he carefully leaned out to peek outside, only to suddenly reach out and grab the curtain, and yank the cloth over the portal into his domicile with a visible shudder.

“What the heck?” Clover asked aloud as Ranma turned away from the covered window and heaved an obvious sigh of relief, before noticing that his dick was flapping in the breeze and tucked it back into his boxers.  While Ranma headed to the bathroom, the blonde thought about what she'd seen and made a mental note for later.

00000

Sam hummed thoughtfully as she gave the weary pigtailed teen an interested look. “Afraid?  Of what?”

“No idea.” Clover shrugged as she finished her report on the mornings activities, not including her epic masturbatory session, of course. “But the way he moved, it might have been a drill instructor or something.”

Alex turned her attention to their target as well, her own expression sympathetic as she theorized, “Maybe he had a nightmare?” And mused to herself if the pigtailed boy needed an ‘Ollie’ of his own.

While the naive and kind-hearted latina ran through a mental checklist of possible stuffed animals that Ranma might appreciate, and immediately dismissing the idea of giving him a stuffed panda for reasons she couldn't put words to at the moment, Samantha glanced at Clover and asked, “Do you think he knows he’s being watched?”

Clover shook her head. “No.  It was more like he thought somebody was about to break in or something.  After that, he grabbed a sweatsuit and went out for a little while.”

Sam thought to herself for a moment before saying aloud, “That’s kinda strange, and probably something we should look into further.”

Clover nodded in agreement.  Or rather, she _started_ to, before an idea leapt to her mind that made her eyes widen slightly and the rest of her neurons cheered wildly for the one that came up with the deliciously brilliant scenario now flitting through her mind.  It was a bit of a struggle, but the blonde somehow managed to keep the excitement she felt from showing on her face as she said confidently, “Don’t worry, Sammy.  I’m _way_ ahead of you,” and promptly ignored the suspicious look her redheaded bestie sent her way.

00000

[Oh sure.] ‘Ron Sato’ grumbled quietly in Japanese as he rummaged through his locker for the books to his next class. [Let’s have the _students_ switch classrooms every hour and not the _teachers_ .  Cause it’s obviously better to have hundreds of people running all over hell and back and not a few dozen.  I swear, between this and that furry **demon** outside my window this morning, today’s looking like a total wash—]

“Hey!  You’re Ron, right?”

Ranma blinked at the sound of a perky feminine voice coming from behind him, before turning around and seeing a pretty girl with blonde, short-cut hair smiling at him.  After a moment to wonder what he’d done to catch the attention of a local, he grabbed the tomes for his next class and turned to face her with a quizzical, _“Nani?”_ before quickly correcting himself. “Oh, sorry.  Yeah, I’m Ron.”

“Nice to meet you,” The girl offered her hand in greeting. “My name’s Clover.  Clover Manson.”

“Ahh, nice to meet you, Clover-san.” Ranma shook her hand after a bit of awkward hesitation, silently curious why her hand trembled when his palm touched hers. “Is…there something you wanted?”

“Actually yeah,” Clover’s smile widened and she winked at him. “I wanted to know if you’d take me out this Friday.”

Ranma's eyes widened and he immediately stretched his senses out among the surrounding mob of students, straining for any hint of a scream of feminine rage or a warcry over the dull roar of several hundred teenagers.  The only thing his sensitive ears picked up was a pair of groans from  off to his left, and a quick glance revealed the source to be a redhead and a dark-haired girl with coffee-colored skin who were standing a little over ten feet away from him and face-palming.  Brushing their odd behavior aside as unimportant, and not hearing any shouts of, _‘prepare to die!’_ Ranma returned Clover’s smile with one of his own, although his was a rather nervous one. “Um, sure, I guess?  I mean, if you really want to-”

He was interrupted by a slightly nasal and snotty voice calling out, “What’s this?” from his right, where a girl with black hair and a mole on her cheek smiled nastily at the blonde who’d just propositioned him and added snidely, “Looking to add another notch to your bedpost, Clover?”

“ _Mandy_.” The blonde spat the name like it tasted bad, which seemed to suit the interlopers personality as it was very reminiscent of a certain highborn gymnast Ranma didn’t want within 1000 miles of him any longer.  He frowned at ‘Mandy’ as the snobby sounding girl went on.

“You might want to be careful about this one, Ron,” Mandy gestured to Clover as she walked up to him, putting on what she apparently thought was a flirty and concerned expression. “She’s got a bit of a rep around here.  Hey, you’re from Japan, right?” the snob side-eye’d the blonde and smiled thinly. “So, you probably know **all** about _‘fingercuffs’_?”

Clover’s cheeks purpled at the insult and Ranma, unwilling to find out if angry girls pulling mallets from nowhere was a thing in America, pre-empted her verbally ripping Mandy a new one by clearing his throat pointedly and said, _“Sumimasen,”_ in an insulted tone that didn’t fit the polite interruption. “But those are _Chinese_ fingercuffs.  There’s no such thing as Japanese fingercuffs.”

Mandy waved a hand idly as she dismissed the large cultural differences she’d just ignorantly linked together and tossed out a blasé, “Like, whatever.  The point is, if you don’t want to catch something—”

“What the **hell** did you say, you fashion-disaster brat!?” Clover snarled furiously at the interloper, and Ranma’s eyes widened as he saw the dimmest flickering of an angry battle-aura around the blonde.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have too much time to appreciate the fact that someone in the USA had enough ki to pull off an admittedly weakened technique from home as Mandy rounded on Clover and screeched, “Brat!?  I am not a **brat!**  I am one of the elite of this school, and you should be honored to walk the same halls that I do, _peasant!_ ”

Ranma gritted his teeth, both from the girl’s very unpleasant voice and something inside him saying _‘the Kuno is strong with this one’_ in obvious disgust.  While Ranma had trouble handling the unpredictable and violent ways of the ‘Blue Thunder’ and ‘Black Rose’ back home, he wasn’t about to let some rich bully who didn’t have access to high explosives or exotic poisons off the same hook he’d been forced to hang himself on in Japan.

00000

Sam and Alex moved in closer, scowling angrily as they got ready to back up their friend despite the risk of blowing their cover.  But before either their arch nemesis or the target of their current mission noticed their presence, Ranma stepped between Mandy and Clover and surprised all 4 of them by turning to face the raven-tressed socialite and harshly declaring, “Cut it out.  I’m not gonna sit here and listen to you insult somebody, so just go away and get to your next class.”

Sam and Alex saw Clover’s cheeks redden in response to Ranma’s stern condemnation, while Mandy’s eye twitched and she somehow managed to reach a vocal range that was even more grating than normal, due to being disproportionately outraged over being told off. “What!?  How _dare_ you!?  I was trying to do you a favor and give you a warning about this **tramp** , and you’re going to throw it back in my face?!”

“I don’t know what _tramp_ means, but if I have to talk to her or a _kappa-onna wa ijiwaru_ , I’d rather talk to her.”

Alex suddenly snorted and covered her mouth, which earned her a confused look from Sam as the latina started giggling.  But while Alex apparently understood and approved of what Ranma had called Mandy, the snob herself was left in the dark as her face scrunched up from the strain of trying to process Ranma’s native tongue. “What’s that moonspeak mean?”

“It means I don’t wanna talk to a fish-lipped snob,” Ranma informed her as he folded his arms and looked at her impassively. “So leave her alone before you make us _all_ late for class.”

Clover’s eyes lit up and a smile of pure malicious glee spread across her face while Mandy’s jaw dropped in shock.  As Sam braced herself for what she expected to be a glass-shattering shriek of outrage considering her behavior so far, the newly christened _kappa-onna_ instead chose to snarl furiously and jab a finger in Ranma’s stony face as she swore, “You’re gonna regret this, new boy!  I hope this slut gives you something that _burns_ like hell!”  Having said her peace, Mandy turned around and stomped away, leaving Clover and her new protector to their own devices.  Sam scowled when she saw Clover giving the pigtailed teen’s back an admiring look, not wanting her friend to sink even deeper into this misguided attraction to their target, but Ranma’s reaction caught Samantha’s attention and replaced her irritation with curiosity.

Following his cold dismissal of Mandy, the pigtailed boy seemed to realize he’d made a very big mistake as his shoulders stiffened and Sam could _hear_ him gulp audibly despite being several feet away.  But when he flicked his eyes over his shoulders, Samantha realized that Ranma was scared of _Clover_ more than the girl who’d just left in a towering temper.  The nervous expression became a nonchalant and brave facade fairly quickly, but not before Sam’s mind turned over and wondered why he was fearful of someone he just defended.

When Ranma turned around, his expression changed again to obvious confusion as he saw Clover smiling at him with a light dusting of red in her cheeks and biting her bottom lip.  The blonde’s non-verbal scream of _‘I don’t care where or when, but I want you to wear me like a t-shirt as soon as possible!’_ made Alex facepalm and murmur something under her breath.  Samantha however, noted that Ranma didn’t seem to notice the blatantly admiring expression he was receiving as he nervously scratched the back of his head and offered, “Ah… _Gomen_ , Clover-san. I just…”

“That’s okay.” Clover replied cheerily. “Not many people are willing to put that brat in her place, besides me.”

Ranma looked over his shoulder and let out a string of irritated words in his native tongue, and Alex immediately raised her head from her hand and looked at him quizzically as Clover asked, “What was that?”

“I said I've handled worse girls than her back home.”

“Worse than _Mandy_?”

Ranma sighed at Clovers incredulous expression. “Trust me, there's somebody worse… _deimo_ ,” he smiled at her again, his confidence returning quickly. "You said you wanted to go out on Friday?”

“Definitely.”

“Alright...I don't suppose you want to see a movie?”

“Always a classic.” Clover stepped forward, and lightly touched his chest with the tip of her finger while smiling coyly. “But I'll tell you what, since you helped me out with Mandy, on Friday we'll do _anything_ you want, okay?”

Alex and Sam blushed at the very blatant come on, though it amazingly looked like the sexual undertone of Clovers offer went right over Ranma's head as he happily replied, “Okay!  I'll see you then!” Before walking away from the blonde and presumably to his next class.  Their target gone and thus removing the need for obscurity, Sam and Alex approached Clover, who hadn't moved from her spot in the hall as she watched her date’s signature hair style disappear into the crowd.

“What are you doing?!” Sam all but yelled into the boy-crazy blonde's ear.

Clover, seemingly not noticing Sam or Alex's presence, murmured under her breath, “I am going to do evil, _evil_ things to that man…”

“Clover!!!” Sam shouted, outraged at her friends quiet musing, “That's probably what he want to do to you!”

“ _God_ ,” Clover purred, “I _hope_ so!”

Not being in class and under a watchful teacher’s eye, Samantha gave Clover a full dope-slap, prompting a cry of shock and outrage from Clover before she rounded on the redhead.  Before they could start bickering, Alex looked quizzically at Sam as she countered her friends assertion by saying, “But…he protected Clover from Mandy."

“All that proves is that she's so annoying, even a supervillain hates her.” Sam shot back, while Clover smiled widely.

“I’m like, _totally_ remembering that fish-lipped thing!” the blonde declared happily before turning to Alex and asking, “So, what was it?  Cap-of-on-nah or something?”

“Well, it wasn’t actually fish-lipped,” Alex replied with a small smile. “He called Mandy a spiteful _kappa_ girl, and in Japan, _kappa_ are basically water spirits.”

“Huh.” Clover pursed her lips as she considered that. “I think I like fish-lips better.  Calling Mandy a water-spirit seems kinda nice.”

“It’s really not.” Alex retorted with a giggle. “Remember when Arnold put The Lord of the Rings Trilogy on for the AV club's movie night?”

Sam looked curiously at the chuckling Latina. “Yeah?”

“According to legends, a _kappa_ looks like a cross between Gollum and a snapping turtle!”

Clover’s jaw dropped and she crowed, “Ohhh!  That’s even _better!_  He’s totally getting a ‘Manson Vacuum’ for that one!”

Sam’s eye twitched, but rather than ineffectively lambast her wanton friend again, she turned to Alex and asked, “Anything _else_ he said that we should know about?”

“There was…one thing…” Alex turned to her friends with a confused look as she said “But, my Japanese must be getting rusty, cause it doesn’t make any sense…”

“What’d he say?”

“When Clover talked to him about putting Mandy in her place, it **sounded** like he said, _‘as long as she doesn’t throw a razor-edged hulahoop at my head, I’ll be fine’_.”

That earned Alex dual stares from Sam and Clover, the sheer oddity of such a statement bringing the blonde out of her lust-addled appreciation. “A razor-edged...hulahoop?” Clover repeated questioningly.

“That’s what it sounded like, but…”

“But nothing,” Samantha cut off her friend with a sharp nod. “I trust your ears, Alex.  I don’t trust _him_ though, and that sounds like the kind of thing that can use some spy work.” Turning to Clover, who was again looking down the hallway where their target had gone, the redhead stated seriously, “We may have an in with this _date_ you two are going on, so ask him more about his past, and try to steer the conversation towards the Wrecking Crew.  And Clover?”

Feeling the point on the last two words, Clover turned back to Samantah with a casual, “Hmm?” Only to stop and take a step back as the redhead pinned her with the most severe _‘Don’t test me, bitch’_ glare the blonde had ever experienced, as Sam intoned grimly,

 **“DO.** **_NOT._ ** **FUCK HIM.”**

-Friday evening-

“Gotta say,” Clover said to her date with a little smile. “You know how to show a girl a good time.”

“Really?” Ranma scratched the back of his head and chuckled at her praise. “I wasn’t sure, things being so different between here and home after all, I didn’t know if you liked the same things I did.”

(Truth be told, I _would_ have preferred to see that new RomCom with Jamey Deep) Clover thought to herself. (But that Jackie Chun flick **was** pretty cool.)

After agreeing to meet up at the theatre after school, Clover had gone home to pick out red spaghetti-strap, thigh-length silk dress before heading to the cinema.  She’d arrived to find that Ranma had switched out his red shirt for an almost identical blue one and had already bought the tickets to a film he’d been wanting to see for awhile.  Things hadn’t gone quite according to plan, or rather Clover’s fantasy, since a martial arts flick was the wrong atmosphere for a little handy-in-the-theatre fun like she’d wanted.  Plus, Ranma was having too much fun commenting on the flick, laughing at the amazing martial arts displays, while at the same time scoffing at some of the ludicrously dangerous stunts being performed by the protagonist.  When she’d asked about his dismissal of things like crawling across hot coals, he’d simply said “I’ve seen _much_ more dangerous moves.”

After the movie, the pair walked down the road until they came upon a series of restaurants and cafes, though Clover had spend their trek almost continuously giving him _‘fuck me’_ eyes in the hope that he’d take her home.  And more importantly, to bed.

But, it seemed like the pigtailed boy couldn’t catch a clue if it landed on his head, as he completely missed the coquettish batted eyelashes of his date while he looked around at the various restaurants. “So, where do you want to eat?  Since I picked the movie, you can pick out the next spot, _desu ne?_ ”

Resisting the urge to say _‘I want your hot salami’_ with some difficulty, Clover smiled and shrugged. “I don’t know.  If you want me pick a spot, I’ll like, probably pick an expensive French Restaurant.”  As she’d expected, Ranma was brought up short and looked at her with wide-eyed fear, prompting her to turn around and smile coyly at him. “What?  Don’t want to break your bank account on me?”

“Uhh, no…” Ranma shook his head with a grimace. “That’s not…I’ve had bad experiences with French food.”

“Oh,” Clover grimaced sympathetically. “Food poisoning?”

“That’s one way of putting it.” Ranma admitted, then heard a distant rumble and looked into the sky, which was rapidly thickening with clouds and he whispered, “ _Kuso!  Jodandesho!?”_

Clover followed his gaze, frowning as she saw the beginnings of a rainstorm forming and said “That’s weird…and me without an umbrella?  That totally su—”

The blonde’s consternation regarding the sudden shower was cut off as Ranma scooped her up into his arms and **very** quickly ran under the awning of a nearby italian restaurant, covering about a half block in a few seconds and reaching the protective canvas just as the first drops started to fall.  Clover didn’t have time to do more than gasp in surprise before the thrill ride had stopped, and then looked back and forth to where they’d been standing a second ago, and where she was now being protectively held by the scowling boy.  Getting a feel for his muscles through the blue silk shirt he was wearing, Clover shivered as she silently squealed with appreciative delight before looking up at her ‘savior’ and laughed lightly. “Hey, I like, appreciate the effort but it’s just a little rain.”

 _“Nani?”_ Ranma attention was brought from the ugly scowl he was shooting at the surrounding sidewalk, which slowly darkened as it was soaked with water, to the girl in his arms.  His eyes bugged out in shock and he quickly blurted, “Sorry!” before setting Clover on her feet. “I was just-I was trying to get us out of the rain!”

“Well, I figured that,” Clover smiled at him, though her slightly underutilized spy instincts twitched at his sudden nervousness. “But like I said, it’s just a little rain, so what’s the big deal?”

Ranma looked at her, mind spinning as he tried to come up with a plausible reason for avoiding such a normal thing, before settling on “I…didn’t want you to ruin your dress?” With the small hope that she’d buy the lame excuse.

While fully aware of the bullshit being shoveled, Clover saw no reason to call Ranma on it, as she _was_ wearing one of her favorite dresses. “You’re sweet.” She responded with a small smile before looking between the steadily worsening storm outside and the restaurant they were standing in front of. “Well, looks like we’re gonna be having Italian then.”

Ranma, as though noticing for the first time where he’d leapt to, grinned and said, “Oh yeah, I’ve always wanted to see how noodles from other places tasted!”  He approached the main doors along with his date, but stopped suddenly, a bit of worry clouding his features.

“What’s wrong?”

Turning to Clover, Ranma gave her a half-smile as he said apologetically, “ _Gomen_ …I really did want to let you choose where we would eat.”

Clover blushed, before looking out into the pouring rain and replied, “Hey, if we try to go somewhere else now, my dress will get ruined, right?” She then gave him a teasing wink. “Unless you think you could pull another ‘faster than a speeding bullet’ trick?”

To her surprise, Ranma actually narrowed his eyes and started judging distances between the various overhangs and other dry spots before shaking his head. “Sorry, it’s too far to make it without getting soaked.”

(Holy crap, I was kidding…) Clover considered with a surprised blink, before laughing lightly. “Well, that’s fine then.  I promise, I won’t eat _too_ much.”

“Trust me,” Ranma grinned cockily. “That won’t be a problem.”

00000

Mandy couldn’t believe her luck.  After having found an awesome sale on a set of sweet pumps, which she bought 5 pairs of, she’d decided to stop for lunch just as a surprise rainstorm hit.  Smiling to herself, she hummed as she thought, (All's right with the world) while watching several unluckier pedestrians through the windows, who’d been caught off-guard by the storm and were scurrying for cover.

Then her eyes widened, her fork almost slipping from her fingers as she heard two familiar and _very_ unpleasant voices from behind her.  Glancing over her shoulder, she gaped as she saw the new exchange student walking towards her along with that unkempt slut Clover.  The pair were on the other side of  the thin divider separating the booths, and Mandy growled as she looked away, wondering how her luck could have reversed directions so quickly and put her at the same location those two losers were having their date.

It seems the fates were even less kind to her than she thought, as Clover and Ron took a table directly across from the divider from her, and she ducked down so she wouldn’t be spotted by the pair.  After a moment to curse her change in luck, a thought occurred to the snob that brought a mean smile to her face.  Sitting back up and staying carefully out of sight behind the divider, Mandy smiled as she eavesdropped on the bimbo and the ungrateful jackass, thinking about what kind of dirt she could get on the pair before ruining their date for dessert.

00000

Clover smiled at Ranma, who read through the menu, seemingly oblivious to her attention.  His lack of acknowledgement made the small part of her, that sounded a _lot_ like a certain red headed friend, insist that she make at least some effort into finding out more about the possible super villain’s past.  With a small sigh, Clover silenced the annoying voice by asking reluctantly, “So, who’s worse than Mandy?”

“Huh?” Ranma looked to his date, his musings just how many types of noodles he could reasonably order without looking odd to his companion interrupted by a question from left-field.

“At school, you said you’d dealt with girls who were _worse_ than Mandy,” Clover clarified. “I’m curious what could make a girl worse than that wannabe teen-queen.”

Memories surfacing of the the signature laugh, ribbon and outfit of a certain psychopathic gymnast made Ranma shudder, which made Clover cock an eyebrow curiously as he quickly settled on a few quick food choices before setting the menu aside.  Reminding himself that he couldn’t give _too_ much away, unless he wanted somebody curious enough to look up his past and possibly summon one of the _many_ things he was trying to get away from, Ranma replied, “Her name was...Konachi, and she was a gymnast at a local all-girls school.  Her family is one of the richest in all of Japan, and have a history going back to the _Sengoku jidai_.”

Clover gave him a blank look.

“Ahh...the Warring States era, about 400 years ago.”

Clover whistled. “Blue-bloods much?  Mandy might be rich, but I don’t think she’s ever talked about her family tree.”

“Yeah, well it’s all Kod-” Ranma bit his tongue. “- _na_ chi could talk about, along with her brother and father, and all of them are completely insane.”

Recalling the comment on, _‘razor-edged hulahoops’_ but more importantly how she wasn’t supposed to know that, Clover feigned ignorance and chuckled. “Oh, how bad could she have been, really?”

Ranma’s expression darkened and Clover tensed worriedly as he gave off the impression of being offended by her dismissal.  The brief wonder if she should reach for her phone and the panic button concealed in same, Ranma stated in a low voice, “Put it to you this way.  Before I met Kodachi, she had led her gymnastics club to 99 straight victories in intramural matches with other schools.”

Clover pursed her lips and nodded. “Wow.  Pretty impressive.”

“Not really, because they were all forfeits.”

The blonde stopped in mid-nod, blinking quizzically before saying, “What?”

00000

Mandy, almost pressing her ear against the wooden paneling between her and the pair, found herself curious about this girl that the new guy was comparing her to, wondering if she should be offended by the fact that Ron found her to be the lesser of two evils.

_“99 matches between other schools and Konachi’s gymnastics club were all by forfeit, because the other team would be too sick or injured to compete by the day of the meet.”_

_“Like, I’m all for coincidence,_ ” Clover replied incredulously. _“But there’s no way that happens a hundred times in a row by accident.”_

_“It wasn’t.  Konachi would attack her competitors before the matches and hurt them so they couldn’t compete.”_

Mandy’s jaw dropped in shock, while Clover apparently shared the popularity queen’s sentiment as she gasped, _“No_ way _!  How could she get away with that!?”_

 _“Like I said, rich and from an old family.  When I met her, she had actually been ambushed by_ **_my_ ** _school's gymnastics club.”_

_“Turnabout is fair play?”_

_“More like ‘payback’s a bitch’, since she’d already whupped them so badly that I thought she was being attacked by a bunch of mummies.”_ Ron sighed _“She beat them again, and…I told her to stop it.  After that, they went to Ak-a friends house and asked her to take their place at the match.”_

There was a silence for a moment, and Mandy chanced peek through a glass section of the divider to see that Ron was deep in thought, struggling for a way to explain what had happened.  She gritted her teeth in frustration, wanting to yell at the stupid pigtailed boy to hurry up, but didn’t dare reveal her presence.  Finally, Ron answered hesitantly, _“My…friend got ambushed by Konachi too, but it didn’t work, and she managed to make it to the match.  But it turns out, Konachi’s entire ‘gymnastics routine’ revolved around cheating too.”_

00000

“How’s that?”

“The entire time they were fi-I mean, uh, _dancing_ ,” Ranma corrected himself quickly. “Konachi kept using weapons hidden in the gymnastics equipment to try and hurt me-my friend.  Her ribbon was made of some kind of high-tensile strength steel, there was a steel pipe hidden in a length of rope she tried to bonk her in the head with; a hidden switch in a baton made sharp spikes pop out whenever she wanted—”

(That’s where the razor-edged hulahoops must have come in!) Clover thought, utterly flabbergasted by the absolute insanity of a gymnast attacking her opponent during a competition. “Didn’t the judges see what she was doing?!”

“Not everything, but what they did see was still legal by _their_ rules, since the match was at Konachi’s school.”

Clover grimaced, “I like, totally get why you think Mandy’s better than her.”

“Trust me,” Ranma chuckled humorlessly. “You haven’t heard the worst bit.”

Before he could elaborate, the teen’s waiter arrived.  The pair gave their orders, with the blonde raising an eyebrow as Ranma insisted to the waiter that yes, he **did** in fact want the linguini _and_ the spaghetti along with both orders accompanying soups and breadsticks.

"Wow, hungry much?” she quipped after the waiter had left, shaking his head as he went.

“Yeah, sorry,” Ranma laughed. “I got a high metabolism, plus I work out a lot.”

(Oh, I _know_ .) Clover mused, regretting more and more her promise not to fuck Ranma.  Putting that sadness out of her mind, the blonde returned to the previous topic with a leading, “ _Soo_ , what’s the worst bit about Konachi?”

Reminded of the psycho and of the times where she’d invaded his personal space, among other things, Ranma groaned, “Ugh.  The worst part out of all the other stuff, is that she’s _in love_ with me.”

00000

Mandy’s eyes widened and she shivered with dread.  The idea of a person as crazy as this girl being infatuated with her made the snob want to preemptively enter into witness protection.  While a stubborn part of her wanted to insist the jackass was lying to the slut, Mandy couldn’t think of a reason _to_ lie about something this.  It wasn’t like Clover had high standards except for a pity-fuck after all.

Plus, Mandy knew how guys looked and sounded when they brought up ‘crazy girls’ and _weren’t_ being bitter or willfully obtuse about not understanding a normal girl’s behavior.

 _“Whoa! Like,_ seriously!? _”_

The sound of Clover’s shocked gasp brought Mandy out of her brief internal reverie in time to hear Ron reply with a weary, _“Seriously.  She made me miserable, and no matter how much I told her I wasn’t interested, she’d never back off.  I never told her off like I did to Mandy, but that was because I was afraid she’d pull out something and try to hurt me, or worse, whoever she thought was her competition.  I was so desperate, that was made a condition of the stupid match.”_

Mandy’s eyes narrowed, focusing on every word while Clover kept prying information out of her date. _“A condition?”_

 _“I-my friend made Kod-_ **_n_ ** _achi swear that she would leave me alone if she lost the gymnastics match, which she did despite her cheating the entire time.  The instant Konachi lost, she said_ ‘Very well, I shall give up my present affections for Ranma-sama.  And henceforth, I will burn with _new passion_ for him!’ _.”_

The arrogantly mocking, braggadocious falsetto, again coming off as completely honest despite evidence to the contrary, made Mandy facepalm and groan quietly in _almost_ sympathy for the pigtailed boy.

 _“Wow…what a bitch—wait,”_ Clover’s disgusted agreement with Ron’s story turned to confusion as she asked, _“Ranma?  Who’s Ranma?”_

Mandy perked up at that, sensing juicy gossip as Ron stuttered, _“Wh-what!?”_

 _“I thought you said she was in love with you.  So who’s_ ‘Ranma-sama’ _?”_

 _“That’s...Aaaaaaa nickname!”_ Ron said quickly, his nervous and over-eager tone made Mandy’s bullshit detector finally ring an alarm. _“It’s an old nickname!”_

 _“Really?  How’d you get it?”_ Clover wheedled, sounding just as eager for juicy information as her rival. _“Does it mean something?”_

 _“It means,_ ‘wild horse’ _.”_

Ron/Ranma’s offer, while sounding honest, brought a groan from Mandy as she could practically _hear_ the blonde bimbo drooling at the blatant come-on.  Not that such a trick wouldn’t have worked on Mandy either, but she at least wouldn’t have asked, _“Oh really?  And_ **_how_ ** _did you get a nickname like that?”_ in such a blatantly slutty way.

 _“Uh...I don’t know?”_ Ron answered quizzically. _“Maybe...cause I...don’t like being tied up?”_

Clover let out a totally gross snort of amusement which made Mandy’s nose wrinkle in disgust. _“I think you mean, tied down.  Like, you gotta run free?”_

 _“That’s it, exactly!”_ Ron agreed with a laugh. _“I don’t like being told what to do!”_

_“Gotcha, no handcuffs, and you want to be on top.”_

Mandy rolled her eyes at Clover’s obvious come on, only to stifle a laugh as Ranma apparently didn’t catch _fingercuffs’_ offer and asked, _“What?”_

 _“I’ll show you later,”_ Clover murmured in what she clearly thought was a sexy voice. _“So, Ranma means wild, and Sama means horse?”_

 _“Huh?  No, Ranma just means wild horse.  Sama is like San, but more...high society and formal.”_ Mandy’s interest started fading, and she leaned away from the divider as the transfer student gave a boring language lesson on moonspeak _“San is a polite way to address somebody, like saying sir or ma’am in English.”_

_“So when I introduced myself, you were calling me ‘Ms. Clover’?”_

_“Umm, kinda?  I mean-”_

_“Relax, ‘_ Rrrranma’ _.”_ Clover rolled the ‘R’ that made Mandy groan. _“I know, you were being polite.  So what’s Sama mean?”_

 _“Normally it means Lord or Lady, but in Konachi’s case it was obvious she meant it as ‘Darling’.”_ Ranma chuckled as he added, _“So unless that kappa-onna starts running around cracking a ribbon like a bullwhip and calling me ‘darling’, I’ll pick her over Konachi_ **_any_ ** _day!”_

The ‘kappa-onna’, hearing that hated insult again, turned furiously towards the unseen couple.  But before she could let out the banshee screech threatening to burst out of her lips, the _slut_ laughed along with her stupid date and said, _“You know, my friend Alex speaks a little Japanese, and I told her what you said.”_

_“You did?”_

_“Oh yeah, and I think ‘fish-lips’ is a hell of a lot nicer than what you actually called that stuck up snob.”_

Mandy paused, but only to let her rage reach a true critical mass while her newest target for her ire asked, _“What’d she tell you it meant?”_

 _“That kappa’s are water spirits, who look like snapping turtle goblin things.”_ Mandy could _hear_ the wicked grin in Clover’s voice as the slut added, _“I think it fits a lot better though, cause I’ve heard Mandy gush over tacky gold rings plenty of times, and I can just imagine her saying_ **‘** **the precioussss** **’** _.”_

Meltdown achieved, with Clover’s attempt at a rasping voice bringing a laugh from Ranma that chucked a lit match onto Mandy’s stockpile of gunpowder, the high-society snob picked her target.  After a moment of hesitation, she readied her ammo, and opened fire.

00000

Clover’s jaw dropped, utterly shocked by what she was seeing.

Ranma’s hair had turned red.  Almost every strand on his head was bright red.

Along with his shoulders, his face, and the top of his blue silk shirt from the sudden cascade of spaghetti that had come raining down from the other side of the divider between them and another table.  Ranma appeared to be just as frozen as she was by the deluge of marinara, when a familiar nasally voice sweetly said, “Oh, _whoopsie!_  How could I be so _clumsy?_ ”

Clover took only a half-a-second to see the malicious grin of Mandy on the other of the low wall, next to where Ranma was sitting, before the blonde was on her feet and screaming, “What the _hell_ did you do to Ranma, you **bitch!?!** ”

“What?  You don’t like it?” the snob commented wickedly. “With as much as he ordered, I didn’t think he’d mind another helping!”

“You were _spying_ on us!?  Like, how low can you get!?!” Clover shouted, completely waving off the irony of a spy complaining about being spied on. “What, did you follow us from school you pathetic fashion plate?!”

 **“What!?”** Mandy shot back, her nasally screech bringing the waitstaff and maître d’ to the ruckus even faster, if for no other reason than to get the very annoying teenagers the hell out of the restaurant, ASAP. “I am Bev High’s ultimate _trendsetter!_  You might as well be picking up your dresses from the Salvation Army, you bottom-dwelling bimbo!”

Clover’s cheeks purpled as she readied a tirade that would blister the ears of all present, when she heard Ranma whisper the word, “Warm…”

Her attention brought away from the spoiled brat, Clover watched as Ranma gingerly felt the sauce clinging to his dark hair, barely visible underneath the sauce of Mandy’s discarded dinner, seemingly not noticing the two girls screaming at each other as he said “It’s warm…” in a disbelieving tone.  The blond gulped, worried about the rumors of the ‘wrecking crew’ and how much property damage they’d caused to Nerima, and wondered if there would be a building left standing if this supposed ‘leader’ of the group went berserk.  Braced for impact, or maybe just to run like hell, Clover wondered if she was ready for what sort of reaction Ranma would have from the degradation Mandy had put him through.

Turns out, Clover was completely unprepared for Ranma’s reaction.

Because he laughed.

It started as a low, disbelieving chuckle.  But it slowly built in volume until the pig-tailed boy was shaking like he’d just heard the funniest joke ever, drawing confused stares from everybody present as he slowly got to his feet, smiling widely as he brushed a couple of meatballs out of his hair and onto the now empty plate. “Wow…” He said in amazement. “Things really are different here than back home.”

“Ron?” Clover asked quizzically, blinking as he simply gave her an easy-going smile before turning to the less-fearful, but equally as shocked Mandy.

“So you were listening in?” Ranma chuckled as he met the dark-haired girl's eyes and quipped, “Well, at least it wasn't a spiked baton, neh?”

Mandy blinked, disbelieving the utterly unflappable manner Ron was displaying as he turned to the maître d' and asked, “Hey, can I head back into the kitchen?”

“Wh-what?!” The head waiter's Italian accent slipped as he stared at the blas teenager “The kitchen?  Why would you want to go there?”

“Cause I’ll clog the sink in the mens room if I clean up in there.”

Understanding dawned, and the server’s faux Italian mannerisms returned immediately and he declared, “Of course, _signor_.  Right this way!” as he lead Ranma out of the main dining room, with Clover and Mandy both gaping in shock as he walked away, though the latter’s shock took a turn for the outraged as she shouted “Hey!  Why the hell are you so happy!?”

Reminded of the cause for the recent debacle, Clover rounded on Mandy to tear her a new one, only to be stopped by a greying-haired waitress stepping up to the raven-haired girl and stating sternly, “Miss, you need to go.   _Now_.”

“What!?” Mandy’s further shrieks made several surrounding customers and employee’s wince in pain, while the object of the teen’s petulant fury remained completely nonplussed by her shouting. “I am a _paying_ customer!  What gives you the right to throw me out!?”

“You _were_ a customer,” the waitress stated simply. “And now that your meal is gone, you are not a customer any longer, and it is the right of this restaurant to deny service to any persons we so desire.  Pay your bill and leave, before we call the police and have them _escort_ you out.”

Mandy snarled menacingly at the old battleaxe, before sniffing haughtily and saying, “Fine.  The marinara was disgusting anyway!” and walked towards the entrance, her nose held high as she called over her shoulder, “Don’t expect a tip!”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” the old woman said to herself, clearly unconcerned by the sudden drop in income.

Clover giggled and offered happily, “Don’t worry, I’ll cover it for getting rid of her.”

“Not necessary, Madame,” the waitress smiled at Clover as she added, “It was my pleasure.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I should go check on your friend.”

00000

Mandy scowled, standing outside with her bags in hand as she waited for the rain to stop.  Fuming and stomping occasionally at the sheer injustice of being blown off by that stupid new boy, other thoughts clouded the teenage twit’s mind besides irritation at his jovial response.  The most pressing one, is why she had to struggle to pick the plate of food over her glass of water?

The spaghetti sauce was guaranteed to stain, and feel more disgusting than just the quick chill of ice water, so it was the obvious choice to splatter the asshole with.  But why had she felt such a _strong_ urge to pour water on the pigtailed boys head?  The thought lasted for a little while, before it was drowned out in a wave of petulant spite and bitter hate towards Clover and her new stud.

00000

Walking back towards the dishwashing area, the senior waitress caught sight of the maître d' rubbing his hands nervously as he watched their customer clean himself, just out of the older woman’s sight.  “Frank?  How is he?”

Startled, looking away from pasta-drenched boy, Frank blurted, “Pam!  Oh thank goodness!  Is she gone?!”

“Yeah,” the waitress affirmed as she rounded the corner. “The little brat left once I threatened to call—”

Pam stopped short, her eyes wide as she watched the young man who’d been splattered earlier using a high-powered sprayer to rinse out his hair while he was bent over one of the large basins used for rinsing off plates and pans.  Wearing his pants and a wifebeater undershirt while his blue silk shirt hung over the edge of the sink, the Japanese boy cut a _very_ impressive figure with his well-developed arms on display, as well as his luxuriant hair which he’d unbound to make it easier to clean.

Frank looked back and forth between the oblivious teenager and the waitress who was blatantly appreciating the display of beefcake, and nudged her sharply. “Get a hold of yourself, Pam!” He quietly berated her before gesturing towards the young man as he added worriedly, “Look at what he’s using!”

Pam narrowed her eyes at her coworker before taking a second look at the young man and gasping in horror as she registered the quantity of steam coming from the water he was using to rinse out his hair with. “Sir!  Oh my God, stop!”

Ranma wiped his eyes, hoping he wouldn’t get tomato sauce in them as he turned to look at the two wide-eyed employees, while continuing to spray out his red-stained locks. “What’s wrong?”

“Sir, that’s the sprayer for cleaning dishes!” The waitress gestured frantically. “It’s almost directly connected into the building’s water-boiler!”

Ranma blinked at that, turning the spray away from his head as he stood up. “Really?  I didn’t notice.”

“Didn’t notice!?!” the maître d’ blurted “That water should be scalding hot!”

Ranma took a moment to consider the older man’s words, before turning to look at the sprayer quizzically.  Pressing the switch once again, he directed the spray into the palm of his opposite hand.  Noting the sympathetic the wince of pain from his audience, he also registered the steam rising from his skin on contact.  Amazingly, the scalding water felt like nothing more than a hot bath to him and after a moment, he made the connection.

(The Phoenix Pill…) Ranma gave a half-smile as he remembered the fiasco with the Full-Body Cat’s Tongue Pressure Point and the ‘rewards’ he gained from the experience. (Guess that’s one of the few real gifts I ever got from the old bat…)

Pam and Frank stared as the teenager smiled to himself, completely unconcerned by the boiling hot water he was spraying himself with.  Turning back to the pair, the dark-haired boy grinned and said, “Don’t worry, I can handle hotter water than this.”

Pam’s jaw dropped, while Frank seemed flustered for a moment as Ranma returned to his washing, calling over the spray “Hey, if I could get some soap, a bag, and a new shirt, would that be okay?”

“Ah, of course sir!” Frank chirped immediately, hoping to avoid an unpleasant backlash from the strangely durable teenager’s parents, or future customers if word of this incident spread around.  Hoping that the cost of what appeared to be a very fine silk shirt wasn’t _too_ expensive, the maître d’ offered “And, we will also reimburse you for the price of your meal, as recompense for your unpleasant experience.”

“Really?” Ranma grinned widely. “Thanks for that!  Wow, almost makes it worth that _kappa-onna_ throwing a temper tantrum!”

“It is nothing.” the maître d' picked up his role once again as he added, “But, might I inquire where _signor_ acquired such a fine shirt?”

“Uh…” Ranma mused aloud as he tried to remember. “I don’t know, somewhere in China?  Why do you want to know?”

“Well _signor_ , we cannot acquire a replacement for you if we do not know where you got this one.” Frank’s crestfallen tone, though well hidden, was picked up by Pam and she sighed as well, hoping they wouldn't be hit too hard in the pocket-book from ordering in a custom-made shirt from over-seas.

Ranma blinked, shut off the sprayer again and turned to the two employee’s again. “Why’re you getting a replacement?  I mean, I appreciate the offer and everything…”

“You...just asked for a new shirt, did you not?”

Another quizzical stare, which ended when Ranma realized the screw-up and gave a quick laugh. “Oh, I didn't mean for you to buy me a new one!  I just want to borrow any spare waiter shirts you have until me and Clover are done eating.”

Pam’s jaw dropped, while Frank tried to wrap his head around the teen’s generosity and stuttered, “B-but weren't you going to go home?  You asked for a bag—”

“Yeah, so if my shirt isn't dry by the time we're done, I don't have to wear it home.”  Ranma grinned at the two flabbergasted adults as he hefted his shirt in one hand. “So, where can I hang this up to get it out of your way?”

00000

Clover idly stirred her drink, waiting for Ranma to return from washing up.  While most of her thoughts were on Mandy and how she could get some kind of payback on the spoiled brat for almost ruining her date, her mind was spinning from the unbelievably calm way her date had handled being humiliated like he had.

(How does somebody so totally _chill_ get a rep as bad as he does?) The blonde mused as a few busboys cleared her and Ranma's old table, having taken the offer to move to a new one. (I mean, he almost seemed _happy_ that Mandy drenched him in marinara!  How weird is that?!  Maybe he really was glad she didn't pull out a spiked baton?)

Clover’s thoughts turned to sympathy for her date, coming from a place where an insane, obsessed stalker made _Mandy_ seem like a better option for a nemesis, when she was shaken from her musing as the waitress who’d told the snob to hit the bricks approached. “Miss Manson?”

“Yes?”

“Your… _friend_ has cleaned up, and wishes to finish eating here.  The restaurant has decided to comp your meal, as an apology.”

“Like, don't worry about it,” Clover handwaved the apology with a forgiving grin. “If Mandy can’t handle being complimented, its her own fault.”

The older woman quirked up an eyebrow at that statement. “Complimented?”

“Yeah.  She like, heard Ron talk about having a creepy stalker who followed him around, and didn’t like hearing him say _she_ was less of a pain in the butt than that psycho.”

Pam digest that for a moment before replying, “Well, that certainly explains why he didn’t mind having her throw spaghetti on him.” Clover laughed at the older woman’s statement, then looked at her curiously as the waitress bent over to whisper with a sly grin, “By the way, I happened to see him when he was washing up.  You’re a very lucky girl.”

“I _hope_ so.” Clover replied lecherously.  Before the waitress could gossip further, Clover’s eyes widened and she noisily gulped as Ranma returned.  He was wearing the upper-half of a waiter’s tux, which didn’t fit with the silk pants he was wearing, but he filled it out so nicely that Clover didn’t mind the fashion _don’t_ as much as she normally would.  Eyeing his hair as she sat down, still mostly damp from his scrubbing, Clover opined, “You clean up well.  And pretty fast.”

“I spent a lot of my life on the road with my old man,” Ranma offered. “Living off the land and things like that.  The times when we were in towns, I learned how to handle myself pretty quickly in case we had to leave in a hurry.”

“Huh.  So, why’d you do that?  Was he one of those crazy survivalists, or something?”

Ranma groaned, suppressing a much darker reaction to the memory of his father as he replied, “No, it was martial arts training.  And while pops isn’t crazy, he _is_ an idiot, and his training methods were pretty brutal.”

(I’ll bet) Pam thought as she walked away, still disbelieving the youngster had washed his hair out with almost boiling water and not been hurt by it.

“You’re a martial artist?” Clover smiled widely. “Like Jackie Chun?”

“Kinda similar, yeah,” Ranma grinned at the comparison to the world famous actor.  “Except he trained in actual schools from a lot of teachers, while I just had pops.”

Propping her elbows on the table and lacing her fingers under her chin, Clover smiled widely at Ranma and purred, “Tell me more…”

As Ranma went on to explain certain aspects of his dad’s training, being careful to gloss over whatever he felt were the really strange bits or would be too unbelievable for the American teenager to handle, Clover became more and more convinced that Britney had made a serious error in judgement, because there was no way a guy as nice as Ranma Saotome could be _‘dangerous’_.

00000

Ranma turned away, covering his mouth and doing a decent job of stifling a belch as he walked.

“Like, excuse you.” Clover said, her nose wrinkled a little, but appreciative of his attempt at manners.

“ _Gomen,_ ” Ranma smiled widely as he patted his stomach. “Couldn’t help it.  Man, but that Italian pasta was awesome!”

“Yeah, but you’re totally gonna get indigestion from eating so fast.” Clover commented idly, while wondering to herself where the hell Ranma had put all the food he’d packed away, as his doggybag was currently carrying his shirt.

The two teens, having finished their meal, were walking home.  Clover had insisted they go to her house, as her mom was out of town on a business trip.  Ranma, thinking she wanted some safety since she’d be all alone otherwise, had agreed.  Nearing their destination, Clover had to give more than a few girls death glares to warn them off, as several women had been eyeing up the pigtailed boy in the sleeveless white tanktop, and Clover was feeling _very_ territorial at the moment.

“Yeah, sorry about that.  Force of habit from growing up with pops, you know?”

“I can’t believe he’d steal your food and call it training.” Clover grimaced, partially from the idea of a father making his child starve, but also because they were nearing her house and she wasn’t sure _how_ she was gonna clue Ranma into the fact that she wanted to ride his wild horse, short of landing an airplane on his head with the words [FUCK ME!] written all over it.

“Yeah, it sucked, but it was good for my reflexes and being able to sense an enemy attack.”

“Still, it’s a jerk-ass thing to do.”

“No kidding.”

Reaching her front step, Clover turned around and shivered, partially from lust but also for ‘effect’ as she asked, “I don’t suppose you want to come in, Ranma?”

Ranma, having seen this as a fun time with a pretty girl, for once with no strings attached, cocked his head quizzically at the trembling blonde. “Sure, if you want.  But why are you shivering?  It’s pretty nice out here.”

Clover’s eye twitched and she wondered if Jerry would let her requisition a jumbo jet and several boxes of permanent markers if she said it was for her latest mission.  Writing off the idea as a loss, mostly because the old spymaster would need a better reason than going on a _‘deep cover op’_ to okay the ultimate clue-by-four, Clover replied, “I’m just a little nervous, cause my mom isn’t home…” before giving Ranma a coy look. “I don’t suppose you’d want to _come inside_?”

Missing the point like he’d trained in Martial Arts Cluelessness, Ranma shrugged and smiled at the ‘frightened’ blonde. “Ah, sure.  I could keep you company until your mom gets home, if you’re that scared.”

Sensing that he’d missed the point, yet again, Clover smiled happily and opened her door while chirping “Great!  Come on in!”  But while she was all bubbles and cheer outside, inside the blondes mind, a storm of frustration and lust was boiling over.  Gritting her teeth as she stepped through the door, she thought (That’s it!  You’ve forced my hand!  Time for the nuclear option!)

Ranma followed her, blissfully unaware of her ire as he stepped through the door and noted the trappings of Clover’s home.  He whistled at the expensive furniture and modern look as she closed the front door behind him. “I gotta say, your home is really—”

Suddenly, Ranma’s danger-sense sent up a flare from behind him.  Spinning on his heel, he immediately shifted into a defensive stance and called “Clover-san!  Something—” only to stop dead when he got a good look at the girl whose safety he was worried about and realized he should have been thinking about his own well-being.

While not a martial artist up to the caliber of anyone in Nerima, Clover had once again manifested a small, potent battle-aura.  And even if her nearly glowing eyes weren’t locked on him, Ranma knew damn good and well that if any girl within a mile of him was pissed off, she was pissed at _him_ , whether he deserved it or not. Swallowing down a sudden lump in his throat, Ranma adjusted his stance from _‘combat-ready’_ to _‘BRACE FOR IMPACT’_ in case his date pulled a mallet out of nowhere as she growled, “I have had _enough_ of this,” and stomped towards him.

Spreading his arms wide, Ranma quickly used the Anything-Goes Apology Freefire technique and babbled, “W-wait a minute, Clover-san!  Why’re you mad?!  It it because of the restaurant?!  If you really wanted to eat somewhere else, It’s not my fault that _kappa-onna_ showed up and—”

Once again Ranma was interrupted, but this time his voice was silenced by something other than his own reflexes as Clover reached up, grabbed the back of his head and neck in both hands and pulled him down to mash his lips against hers.  His eyes widened as her chest pressed against his while her blue eyes, which had been narrowed in outrage, softened and slowly closed as she moved against him with a soft moan of relief.  Ranma’s reaction to the sudden affection was fairly standard considering his experiences in Japan, as he froze solid and upgraded his mental status from ‘wary’ to Defcon 4, _despite_ the _ki_ aura she’d manifested winking out a half-second after embracing him.  While he waited for the inevitable screams of fury, Clover slowly pulled him tighter by wrapping her arms around his neck until her body was molded against his.  A small shiver went through her, prompting a flash of curiosity from Ranma as she broke away from his lips and fixed him with eyes that smoldered in a completely different way than he’d been expecting, or had _ever_ seen from a girl before.

“Ron, you’re a total sweetheart and one of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen,” Clover breathed with a slight smile. “But you’re like, _totally_ dense.”

Thoroughly confused by the switch in mood from pissed to affectionate, and then complimenting **and** insulting him in a friendly tone, Ranma looked dumbfounded at his date who’d suddenly sent his mind into a tailspin of confusion as he blurted, “Clover-san, what the heck is going on?!”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” Clover replied huskily as she pulled herself even tighter against him, making Ranma’s eyes widen from her not-so-subtle motions as she rubbed her breasts against his hard pectorals. “I’ve been telling you all night how badly I want you and I don’t know _how_ you’ve been able to miss it.” Smiling sultrily, she flipped Ranma’s pigtail up and down and purred, “So, I’m done being subtle.  I want to take you into my bedroom and do bad, _bad_ things to you, Ron Sato.  So, do you want to ‘ _come_ ’ to my room with me?”

Not even Ranma could miss a shot across the bow like that and he blushed 7 different shades of red as he quickly put his hands on Clover’s shoulders and grimaced fearfully, “Clover-san, that’s a _really_ bad idea!  I can’t—”

“You _can_ ,” Clover corrected him, frowning at his refusal to bed her. “And I want you to, so why won’t you?” While not expecting reluctance, Clover was none-the-less prepared for such a situation and pouted as she sniffled, “It’s because of what Mandy called me, isn’t it?  You think I’m a _slut_ don’t you…”

Ranma shook his head quickly, even more terrified at the idea of being in close proximity to a crying girl as one who was pissed off at him. “No!  No, I don’t care what she said!”

“Then why won’t you kiss me back?” Clover gave him a double-barrel blast of Bambi eyes, her lip quivering in sadness and hurt as she asked, “Why do you look so scared of me?”

“I’m not scared _of_ you!  I’m scared _for_ you!” Ranma blurted, then paled and clammed up, his eyes wide while Clover blinked away her faux heartbreak almost instantly.

“For me?” she asked curiously “Ron, why would you be scared _for_ me—” Suddenly, the story Ranma had told her earlier jumped into her mind, along with the stories of the very dangerous ‘wrecking crew’ that followed him around Japan.

Screaming internally, Ranma prayed to all the _kamis_ that he could come up with something that wouldn’t lead half of Nerima to his new life, with the other half bringing up the rear and ready to tear through what little would remain of Beverly Hills after the fiancé brigade smashed into the unsuspecting city like a stray comet.  When Clover’s eyes lit up in an epiphany and she asked, “Ron, do you think that Konachi girl could come here!?” he offered a very quick prayer in gratitude before answering, “YES!” in an all-too happy tone, then covered up his obvious tell with a fake cough to clear his throat before getting his own acting chops on and answering at a far more appropriate volume.

“ _Hai_ , Clover-san.  I’m afraid of Kod-Konachi finding out where I am.  I spent a lot of time wishing that I’d never met her or had to live on the same island as her, and while I don’t think she’d ever be able to find me here…” the mask fell away and Ranma’s honesty showed through as he answered solemnly “If she did…and she found out we went on a date-if she found out you’d even _asked me out_ , she’d hurt you…bad.” looking deep into her ocean-blue eyes, Ranma finished apologetically, “I’m sorry, Clover-san.  But I won’t have sex with you.”

Clover stared at him with wide eyes, which Ranma _thought_ was her mulling over the severe consequences of any possible intimacy between them.

However, the Neriman runaway’s prediction of her mental state was… _inaccurate_ to say the least.

(Holy crap!  He’s trying to get away from Nerima!?  He might be running away from the Wrecking Crew too!) Clover’s inner voice squealed with unrestrained glee. (And he’s worried about me!  O-My-Gee, he is so _sweet!_  Screw what Sammy said!  I’m gonna buff his saddlehorn to a mirror shine and _ride_ this stallion for all he’s worth!)

Thoughts of the redhead, and her reaction to Clover’s infidelity brought the blonde short as she frowned. (But if I do that, Sammy’s gonna be so pissed, she’ll think I’m ‘compromised’ and won’t believe a word I say.  I can’t sleep him yet, not until I’ve told her about this Konachi chick.) Biting her bottom lip, she swam in the stormy sea of Ranma’s blue-grey eyes and gave a silent despairing moan, (But I wanna fuck him _soooo_ **badly!**  Why do you have to be so damn hot **and** such a nice guy, Ranma?  I could deal with you being thick-headed, just so I could…)

Ranma watched as Clover’s face betrayed her mental state, with surprise giving way to a half-smile of joy, but was quickly replaced by an upset frown.  Before he could disengage however, the look of raw desire that came next froze him in place and made him wonder **how** he could have overlooked her obvious attraction to him throughout the night.  Running through the conversations they’d had with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, Ranma missed Clover’s next moodswing into wicked glee as he recalled the various innuendo she’d dropped on him and thought, (Maybe I am dense…)

“Oh _Roo~ooonnn._ ”

The lilting, sing-songy call brought Ranma’s attention onto Clover again, where he saw a mischievous gleam in her eye that filled him with both elation and dread.  Until his openly frisky date stated airily, “Ranma, I’m not gonna have _sex_ with you.”

He blinked, confused by his date’s sudden change in attitude. “You’re...not?”

“Nope.”

Wondering why she seemed jovial about being denied physical affection, he asked, “But, I thought you wanted to have sex with me?”

“Oh, _totally!_  If you weren’t being so stubborn, I’d fuck you in a heartbeat!”

Ranma’s head dropped at her overly chipper reply, to which she added, “But, I’m not going to…not if you’re gonna be so _worried_ about me ‘cause of some psycho stalker.”

“That’s…good.” Ranma replied as he raised his head, smiling with more than a bit of regret, though that was more for breaking the blonde’s heart than skipping out on physical affection.

“But…” Clover breathed as she closed in again, making the hairs on the back of Ranma’s neck stand up from what appeared to be her coming in for another kiss, only for her to stop just before touchdown, letting her warm breath wash over his lips as she whispered, “If she’s gonna be all crazy just cause we went on a date, does it _really_ matter if you come back to my room and have some fun with me?”

“Trust me, it matters!” Ranma affirmed quickly.

“Hmm, so if sex is out, what about kissing?” A soft giggle vibrated through her body and into his as she went on. “‘Cause like, I’ve already kissed you and if she’s gonna get mad if we go _too far_ , then what if we just kiss some more?”

It took a few moments for Ranma’s mind to swing through that logical loop-de-loop. “Just…kiss?”

“Just kiss,” Clover’s repeated, moving her head closer so that he could _taste_ the words she whispered into his mouth. “And if you come to my room, we can kiss for as _long_ as you want to, okay?”

Ranma floated in the cerulean blue irises looking into his, her bright pink lips practically begging him to be claimed by his own.  The way she looked at him reminded him of a certain lilac-haired amazon after he’d accidentally gotten himself engaged to same, except he had no memories of _this_ beautiful girl snarling at him in murderous rage or baying for his blood.  The reminder of Shampoo made him hesitate as the memories surfaced of the life he’d left behind.  Thoughts of betraying his integrity and honor by being intimate with this stranger, even with something as tame as making out, screamed at him to stop in a voice that sounded an awful lot like his old man when he’d told Ranma to own up for his mistakes.

Hearing those condemnations in Genma’s voice solidified the pigtailed boy’s resolve immediately.

Clover saw the hesitation and need in Ranma’s expression, then blinked when a dark look flashed across his face for a heartbeat.  Before she could ponder his suddenly narrowed eyes, Ranma returned her favor from moments earlier by sliding his hand up to cup the back of her head and pull her lips to his.  Her muffled gasp of surprise almost instantly dissolved into a happy moan as her tongue flew into his mouth, her wordless exclamation of delight rising in pitch when his tongue met the new challenger in an energetic wrestling match.

While the blond melted into his chest, a war raged inside Ranma’s head.  Those thoughts of integrity had been beaten back by the surge of outrage and frustration, which had easily encouraged Ranma to indulge in what was right in front of him and to **hell** with what anybody in Nerima said about his decisions.  Reminders of past pain at the hands of his rivals and his supposed fiancée’s, blaming him for everything from the weather to their own failings and wounded egos spurred him on as his other arm slid around Clover’s waist and pulled her tighter against him.

And the final push that signaled the end to his hesitation at denying this beautiful girl the company she wanted so badly, was the fat lazy panda he’d had the misfortune of being sired by.  Hearing the stupid old man shout at Ranma to own up to his mistakes, when his father constantly dodged the blame and let the resulting fallout end up in his son’s lap was what truly lit Ranma’s restraint on fire and salted the ashes.

But then the blue-hair swam through his field of vision, and a twinge of sadness flashed through him at the very dirty trick by his conscience trying to get in one last parting shot.  The wound was shallow however, and healed quickly by the thought of, (It’s just kissing…right?)

And yet, as Clover went to town on Ranma’s lips and frenched the pigtailed boy like she'd never kiss anyone again, something awoke in him that soon erased all traces of guilt, anger, worry or doubt from his mind.  While more of his mind focused on tasting the mouth of the passionate girl clinging to him, a beast stirred within him.  A creature long thought to be dead from a childhood focused on the Art, then bludgeoned into a coma from months of immersion in a place where hormonal impulses would result in a grisly death.

Now, away from Nerima and finding himself with a beautiful girl who wasn’t going to beat him senseless for sharing oxygen with her, the bruised and battered beast of Ranma’s libido was awakening.  His head felt light as his hands moved across Clover’s body, caressing her back and sides with gentle touches that made the blonde moan appreciatively into his lips.

Ranma’s memories grew fuzzy, the lust clouding his mind in a way he didn’t have much experience with as his tongue danced with Clover’s.  A dim thought of whether he’d left the bag containing his shirt in the foyer was swept away by flashes of walking down a hallway, leading to a room with a large semi-circle bay windows, where the late afternoon sun filled the room with soft lighting.  The fog cleared a little, giving him the image of Clover’s blond hair spread across pink sheets with large red spots, her eyes closed as she moaned underneath him.

The moment of clarity bringing him to the present, Ranma took note of how he was pinning the softly moaning blonde to the bed and immediately rolled to the side, pulling her with so they could continue their liplock.  Judging by the happy murmur against his lips, she appreciated his shift in posture, to keep them equals in this match rather than him dominating her.

While not against the idea of Ranma breaking his own rule and having his wicked way with her, Clover had no problems with the change in position, and voiced the reason aloud as she broke contact long enough to say heatedly, “You’re a _really_ good kisser, Ron.”

“Ranma, Clover-san,” He corrected her quickly. “Call me Ranma.”

She smiled and replied, “Okay, Ranm-MMM!” As she was interrupted by the return of his probing tongue.  Her eyes widened at the renewed contact, before she merrily picked up where they’d left off.

The sounds of wet smacks and heavy breathing echoed while the teens maintained their passionate liplock, until Clover used the opening Ranma left to take the initiative and roll him onto his back.  Laying across his body, she broke contact to catch her breath and sit up, the two of them sharing smiles that said despite her being on top, they both knew it was because Ranma was letting her straddle his waist.  Her smile curling as the silk of Ranma’s pants lightly brushed against the _surprise_ she was going to show him hopefully soon, Clover reached down and gripped the hem of his shirt.

Ranma, feeling his swelling erection brushing between Clover’s legs with feather-light touches, felt a lance of concern shoot through him as she grabbed his shirt. “Clover-san?”

Hearing the worry in his voice, Clover smiled reassuringly and just a touch mischievously as she gave his wife-beater a few meaningful tugs. “If I’m gonna kiss you, I want to _see_ you.  Is that okay?”

After a moment of consideration, where Ranma’s thought processes had become heavily compromised thanks to rising hormones, his previous rationale was brushed aside as he smiled and sat up.  Before he could pull his shirt off however, the blonde who was now sitting on his legs whispered, “No, let me…” he acquiesced to her request, raising his arms to let Clover pull his shirt over his head.

Clover’s fingers shook as Ranma’s face came into view once again, while his t-shirt was tossed onto the floor without a backward glance.  All of her attention was focused on the muscles she’d seen during her surveillance of Ranma’s abode, and she couldn’t resist the call to get some tactile input on just how hard his body was.  Running her hands over his abs, she committed the carved-marble contours under her palms to memory, feeling herself grow wetter as she moaned, “Oh my fucking _God_ , you could grind meat on them…”

Ranma chuckled at that, enjoying Clover’s appreciation for his toned body and reached out to bring her in for another kiss, but she moved away from him.  Sliding back off his legs, he looked at her quizzically as she stood up, until she let the spaghetti straps holding her dress up roll over her shoulders and fall to the side with a silky murmur of, “Your turn.”

Ranma gulped loudly as Clover withdrew her arms from the meager restraints for her dress, which only maintained its position by snugly clinging to her curves, which he hadn’t _truly_ appreciated until this moment.  Turning around, Clover looked over her shoulder to give him a teasing grin. “Come on, _Ranma_ ,” she called playfully. “Don’t you wanna see me too?”

Ranma’s hormones were in full swing at this point, drowning out any thoughts or confusion for the change in attire if all they were going to do was kiss.  The only part of his mind not awash in lustful thoughts was trying to come to grips with a girl who _wanted_ to be undressed in his presence without an ulterior motive, or at least an overt motive he agreed with.  Despite that, he reached out and gently pressed his hands to the side of Clover’s chest, near the upper edge of the thin cloth covering her body.  Feeling movement under his palm from the blonde’s heavy breathing, Ranma swallowed again as he slowly inserted his thumbs between fabric and flesh, and slowly pulled down.  The dual effects of his caress while stripping her bare made Clover sigh happily, though there was a moment of hesitation as Ranma’s hands moved lower and exposed Clover’s bare back and shoulderblades, making him realize that his date wasn’t wearing a bra and hadn’t for the entire evening.  Reaching the bottom of her ribs, he pulled his hands back away from her.

Only to stop his retreat when she looked over her shoulder again, this time disapprovingly and asked, “Why’d you stop?”

“Your...umm, you’re not wearing your top and neither am I, so fair’s fair, right?”  Ranma replied with a nervous smile.

Noting his rosy cheeks, Clover suppressed a giggle over how much _fun_ it was to tease the supposedly dangerous criminal, before reaching back and gently holding his wrists.  She pulled his hands back to where he’d left off, smiling as she countered smoothly, “True, but I only stopped at your shirt cause I couldn’t wait another second to get this dress off.  Once it’s gone, we’ll switch off again.”

“Switch off?” Ranma’s eyes widened and they drifted across what the relatively little amount of skin still remained covered by her dress, his gaze stopping square on her backside and making him suppressed the urge to gulp again.

Clover snickered mischievously, eagerly anticipating his reaction to her best _ass_ -et. “Don’t worry, I said we were just going to _kiss_ didn’t I?” she teased before giving her booty a shake. “And if you wanna kiss me again, hurry up already!”

Briefly charmed by Clover’s butt like he’d been hypnotized, Ranma shook it off and returned to his task of undressing his date.  Adjusting his grip as he reached her hips, Ranma wondered why he was having such a strong reaction to Clover’s body.  Beautiful she was, but lord knows he had plenty of hot girls show off their goods to him, not including his cursed form.  Writing it off as just a side-effect of his newly awakened arousal, he thought, (Well, at least she’ll be in her underwear) with a mixture of relief and disappointment.

Then he caught sight of the curved V of Clover’s ass cleavage and shivered as he made for the last major hurdle, getting her clothing past the prominent rump in his face.  As his hands moved lower however, his eyes widened and he held his breath because more of Clover’s grand canyon was being exposed.  Suddenly terrified that he was pulling down her panties along with her dress, Ranma quickly slipped his fingers between skin and fabric, searching for a different texture before she assumed the worst.

Feeling his frantic probing against her waist and hips, which she didn’t mind save for the fact it was a far different sort of probe she would have expected, Clover looked at Ranma quizzically. “Hey, Ranma?  What’re you doing?”

“I’m—” He coughed nervously as he tried to keep most of her ass covered while he frantically felt around for her slipped underthings. “I think your underwear came off.”

“What underwear?”

The faux-innocent tone made Ranma freeze.  Then he slowly looked up into the wicked ear-to-ear grin of his date. “Like, if I want a guy bad enough, I don’t want _anything_ to slow him down if he wants me too!” Clover followed her happy announcement of going commando by hooking her thumbs next to his fingers and pushing her dress down, thereby exposing the pigtailed teen to her full-moon.

The Heir of Anything Goes’ libido may have woken up from a pavlovian coma, but some instincts still remained that had kept Ranma's loins from giving more than a half-hearted ovation to Clover’s performance during their makeout session.  The sudden thought that she had been walking around town, gone to a restaurant _and_ the movie theater with nothing to stop him or anyone else from getting a _very_ intimate look at her nethers, had chance or perversion given the opportunity, froze him solid.  The realizing that it hadn’t just been her _legs_ the tip of his dick had been rubbing against when she straddled him threw off the shackles of restraint and saluted the blonde’s dedication to the commando lifestyle by raising his flag as high as it could.

Clover smiled widely, seeing his appreciation for her taut, athletic ass via the bulge in his silk pants and laughed, “Like what you see, _Wild Horse_?”

“ _Hai_ …” Ranma breathed as he stared at the pale pink glutes in front of his face.  Unconsciously, his hands slid across her hips from where they’d been frozen, following her finishing his undressing job for him.  Savoring the feeling of her skin against his fingers and palm, it wasn’t long before he was flagrantly groping her cheeks, squeezing and hefting them as he got a feel for the smooth musculature.

Clover sighed with pleasure as he felt her up, letting him have a moment of fun before idly tossing out, “Hey, I thought we were just gonna kiss?  I don’t remember saying we could _touch_.”

Ranma’s eyes snapped open, his Neriman instincts screaming for the bomb shelter as he yanked his hands away from the blonde’s derrière like it’d burned him and shouted, “Sorry!  Sorry, I was just-I mean I couldn’t—!”

Clover’s loud giggling brought Ranma short, and he looked fearfully towards her face as she grinned at him and said, “I was just teasing you, Ranma!” Before turning around and giving the wide eye’d boy an up close and personal full frontal shot of her nude body.

Again, not exactly a ‘new’ experience for Ranma, but with his inner-beast let off the leash, the sight of Clover’s bare skin made his desires howl.  Her breasts, almost as large as his girl forms and capped by bubblegum pink nipples, with areolas about the size of America’s fifty-cent coins drew his eyes away from her face.  Granted, his lust for women’s chests had shrunk significantly due to his own ready access to a nice set of C-cups, but he could definitely still appreciate the beauty of a great pair of tits.  His eyes slid downwards, rolling across her smooth, flat stomach until he reached the apex of his descent.  Her smooth, shaved mons made his breath catch in his throat and he thought he’d suffocate as he caught sight of her clitoral hood, having never gotten close enough to any of his fiancées long enough to get details like this without getting a beating that effectively gave him amnesia of whatever intimates he’d witnessed.

It seemed like hours until he caught Clover calling his name, and met her gaze once more.  She smiled at him before bending over.  He tensed up, expectantly waiting for her to return to their affectionate embrace, but it turned out to be only a tease as she murmured into his lips, “Since you touched me, does that mean I can touch you?”

“ _Hai-_ Yes, Clover-san.”

She laughed, her warm breath on his face raising his desires even higher. “Just call me Clover, Ranma.  You don’t have to be formal with me.”

“O-okay, Clover.”

“There you go.” She purred as she gave him an all too brief peck on the lips before saying, “Stand up, it’s time to switch.”

Ranma’s earlier nervousness had taken a long walk off a short pier when Clover’s dress puddled onto the carpet, and he nodded quickly as he stood up, only to have Clover immediately slide past him to take his vacated spot on the edge of the bed.  He watched over his shoulder as she sat up straight and smiled eagerly, her own arousal obvious from the redness in her cheeks _and_ her chest as she chirped, “Well, let’s see the goods, Ranma!”

He flushed beet-red, but it was far too late to back out now, so he slipped his thumb into the waistband of his pants.  But he was stopped when Clover reached out and grabbed his waist as she cheerfully declared, “Oh no you don't!” Before suddenly twisting him around.  Ranma’s considerable physical training prevented him from losing his balance, with only the slightest of wobbles as he steadied himself and looked down to see Clover face-to-face with the tent he was pitching in his pants.

While he was horny as hell, especially with having such a beautiful girl looking at the bulge in his trousers the way he would look at free ice cream, it spoke volumes to Ranma’s sexual inexperience that he didn’t think anything of having a pretty girl licking her lips while she was head-level with his crotch.  Wondering if the obviously more experienced girl would be as impressed by his manhood as he’d been by the very brief glimpse he’d gotten of her own intimate place, Ranma didn’t resist when Clover mimicked his earlier motions and slid her fingers into the waistband of his pants and boxers.

Except Clover had none of the hesitation he did, or patience for that matter, as she yanked his pants and unmentionables down with one deft move.  The half-second where his hard-on was snagged by the elastic of his boxers made it spring upwards and bounce like a doorstop before the eyes of his date, her involuntary lipbite turning into an involuntary moan of need as she watched his dick jump in front of her.  Ranma sighed in relief, both from having his manhood freed from the tightening confines of his clothes, and having Clover look at his length like a charmer that had been hypnotized by a snake.

While a part of Ranma _knew_ he’d have a dick that any woman would love, being a manly man and all, another part of him was aglow with gratitude for the beautiful girl who was gazing at his dick with obvious appreciation and approval and thus proving his confidence wasn’t unfounded.

 That combined with his inexperience meant when Clover smiled and murmured, “Hey, Ranma?  Can I kiss you?” Without looking away from his member, he didn’t hesitate to nod before he started to bend over and resume making out.

Only to stop, eyes bugging out as soft, warm skin wrapped around his length, making him gasp in surprise and tense up at the touch.

Looking down, Ranma could only gape in shock at what _he_ thought was an unexpected turn of events, as Clover was holding his dick in her hand and pointing it directly at her face.  Or more specifically, her **mouth** , which was hanging open as she moved her head closer to his manhood—

The sudden warmth and moisture of her breath on his member was immediately overshadowed by the greater heat and wetness of her silken lips and sodden tongue, making Ranma’s head go blank as the former fashioned an air-tight ring just under the ridge of his crown, while the latter gave his smooth plumb a thorough taste test.

Ranma moaned loudly, his legs shaking as Clover’s tongue ran laps around the tip of his dick, bathing the swollen head spit while her hand slowly pulled the loose skin of his shaft.  When she started sucking, albeit in a very light way as though trying to drink very hot coffee through a straw, he immediately hunched over as his knees buckled under the unique pleasure of getting a blowjob.  But, all those worries and fears he’d been denying came roaring back with this act and despite the rising bliss in his loins, Ranma braced his hands on the blonde’s shoulders.  Not quite supporting himself, but also trying to push her back as he shouted, “C-CLOVER!? W-what are you _doing!?!_ ” in both strained pleasure and alarm.

Clover paused in mid-lick, confusion stopping her when she was almost done with the preliminaries and ready to give Ranma a cocksucking that would make God himself scream hallelujah.  Opening her eyes, she looked up and gave her flushed and gasping date a quizzical look without pulling his knob from her gob.  Seeing that he was sincerely dumbstruck and worried by her actions, she pulled off of his dick.  But very _very_ slowly, and not before she gave the very tip of his dick a loud and lewd _slurp_ just before it pulled free.  With her mouth no longer occupied, Clover cocked an eyebrow incredulously and asked with snarky curiosity, “Like _duh_ , Ranma.  I’m kissing you, just like I said I would?”

Ranma’s eyes widened as understanding dawned on him. “This…this is what you meant by kissing?!”

At his utterly shocked look, Clover chuckled internally, (Wow, If I didn’t know better, I’d swear he’s never had a blowjob before!  But a hottie like him never getting his knob polished?  Talk about ridiculous!)

The ludicrous idea bringing a smile to her face, along with the idea of finally having her latest crush _mostly_ where she wanted him, Clover met Ranma’s eyes with a cheery grin as she replied, “Of course!  Like, what did **you** think I meant?”

Noting that she batted her eyes coquettishly at that last question, and not caring in the slightest, Ranma blurted an honest, “Not this!” as he fought to get his racing heart back under control.  Which wasn’t as easy as it sounded, since his spit-drenched dick was starting to cool in the air, the temperature shift was both arousing _and_ worrying him, since he wasn’s sure if his curse would decide to trigger from having a cold _liquid_ applied to a  **relatively** small area.

Clover pouted and asked, “Aww, why not?” In obvious disappointment before she resumed stroking his manhood, her other hand coming up to rest flat against his groin and pressing down lightly when he involuntarily thrust his hips in response to her motions. “I said I wasn’t gonna fuck you, but I didn't think you’d mind a good consolation prize.” Dropping the cutesy coquettish act to return to her normal, playfully sluttish demeanor, Clover winked at him and chirped, “Like, what's wrong, Ranma?  Am I doing a bad job?  ‘Cause if you’ve got an ex who's a better cocksucker than me, I’m a _fast_ learner!”

“N-no!” Ranma’s breathing deepened as the blond stroked his stiff manhood. “I don't-I've _never_ had a girl do this before!!!”

Clover’s eyes bugged, her jaw dropped, and her hand immediately froze in mid-wank.  She stared at Ranma, utterly thunderstruck for several moments before gasping,  “Are you _serious!?_  You’ve never had a blowjob!?”

His breathing coming easier now that Clover wasn’t ‘distracting’ him, Ranma shook his head slowly in affirmation. “No, I’ve never met a girl who did… _this_ before.”  Unknown to the blonde who looked like her mind had suffered a critical neural meltdown, Ranma amended silently, (plenty who would have _offered_ , but no way in hell would I have done it.)

It took a second for Clover to recover from the knowledge that her first theory of why Ranma reacted so strangely to getting his pole smoked was accurate.  But when it did, the fact that she was right filled her with outrage rather than smug satisfaction, and she railed against the supreme injustice by snapping, “That’s like, _totally_ criminal!  If I was your girlfriend, I’d be blowing you every _day_ just for being such a sweetheart!”

Ranma blushed at the unexpected praise, while other bits of his mind pointed out just how _soft_ Clover’s fingers and palm were around his manhood as he asked with a soft laugh, “You, ahh...you would?”

“ _Hell_ yeah!” Clover nodded emphatically.  Then she returned her gaze to Ranma’s one-eye’d monster, and determination filled her spirit as she processed the shame of having a cock like this having gone unsucked for as long as it had.  Vowing to show her _technically_ lover the attention he should have received before tonight, the sexually liberated spy adjusted her hold, sliding her hand down to the base of his shaft and then moving it back up to the swollen head, methodically squeezing the entire way.  With a steely glint in her eye, Clover declared sternly, “Ranma, after everything you did today, I was totally going to fuck you, but I was fine settling for sucking you off.”

The blonde looked up again, making sure to lock his stormy gray eyes with her own fierce sapphire glare as she intoned in an erotic mixture of desire and stern seriousness, “But now, your cum is _mine_ , and I’m not letting you out of here until I’ve eaten **all** of it.  Got it?”

Ranma had a potent flash back to occasions where he had sworn solemn oaths and promises on his honor, mostly because Clover had a damn near identical expression on her face as she declared her intent to utterly drain his balls.  While deeply touched to hear someone make an oath like that for _his_ sake for a change, he was also intensely aroused by her declaration as his eyes quickly reminded him that the beautiful teen was bare-ass naked and damn near _everything_ was in display for him to appreciate.  Despite both those feelings, he stubbornly tried to turn down her offer, though it was a weak and half-hearted effort as he said, “Clover, you don’t have to do that.”

“Well, I’m _going_ to,” She restated with finality. “Because you’ve _more_ than earned it.”  Her stern facade faded into a sultry expression as her eyes flicked towards his prick, and she smiled at the glimmering white tear forming in the eye of his cyclops. “Although, I _usually_ swallow anyway, and the only reason I wasn't going to tonight is because of dinner, so that part probably doesn’t amount to much.”

Ranma pursed his lips as he reminded himself that not everyone in the world had his same appetite as he did, and he ignored the brief flash of disappointment when he offered the blonde a way out. “Well, if you’re full, you don’t have to force yourself—”

Clover’s eyes widened and she burst out laughing, making Ranma blink in surprise while she recovered and gave him a rueful grin. “Jeez, Sato, you really _don’t_ know much about this, do you?  Like, spunk tastes different depending on what you eat, and after all that redmeat and pasta, yours is gonna be really bad!”

“Oh…” Ranma grimaced apologetically. “ _Gomen nasai_ , Clover, I didn’t know.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she replied with an airy wave of her hand.  Then she leaned in and Ranma next breath came out as a ragged groan when her tongue dragged across the tip of his dick, giving his slit a long, slow lick before pulling away again, and he watched as she brought her probing taste-tested back into her mouth and licked her lips with a wide smile. “‘Cause I _think_ I can handle your taste for tonight.  Just remember for next time, sweet stuff like fruit is **really** good, and then I can _savor_ your flavor.”

Ranma nodded in understanding and agreement, feeling grateful for the advice as well as her comment on their being a ‘next time’, which was something he’d been looking forward to even before finding out how she’d intended to end their date.

Thinking she should move quickly before he threw out more objections to getting ‘the royal treatment’, Clover leaned in once again and quickly flicked the tip of her tongue along the underside of his glans, while never breaking eye contact with Ranma or losing the smile on her face.  Before she went back to giving him the business however, a thought occurred to the blonde and she broke off her ‘strobe’ technique to offer, “Oh, and eff-why-eye, since I’m _trying_ to make you cum; don't hold back, okay?”

His head spinning a little from the unexpected and welcomed assault on his scepter, Ranma groaned, “I…I guess…” with obvious concern for getting a rep as a minute man.

Clover giggled at his hesitancy, though she misinterpreted the root cause of his underlying motivation as she reassured, “Don’t worry, ‘Wild Horse’.  I’m sure you’re a total _stud_ , but if you’re not fucking me, don't worry about being too fast.” Then the hand that had been laying against Ranma’s groin slid down and underneath his erect prick, where it immediately cupped his balls and Clover smirked as she _lightly_ massaged the smooth eggs in his wrinkled sack. “In fact, I _insist_ you stop worrying, and let me suck you dry.”

His desires rising high from the dual physical and verbal shut down of his restraint and willpower, Ranma watched as Clover moved in for what would be the final time, as he had no more objections or intention of stopping her until she got what she wanted.  This time, probably to tease him a little regarding the earlier misunderstanding, the blond girl did indeed kiss him by planting her lips against the taut, swollen skin of his crown.

Then the kiss deepened and he let out a moan as the tip of his spear slid between the soft entrance to the warm, wet heat of her mouth, only to stop just before the ridge of his head disappeared from view.  Ranma was so entranced by her actions, it wasn't until then that he realized she was watching him, and that was only because her pleased giggle sent tingling vibrations through his shaft and made him give a surprised grunt in pleasure.  He met her twinkling blue eyes and amused expression with a warm, appreciative smile before her eyes closed and Ranma hips trembled when Clover took him deeper into her mouth, until his head scraped against the roof of her mouth.

Clover hummed in satisfaction as she gently massaged the underside of Ranma’s cock with her tongue, and wondered for a brief moment if she was going to spoiling the pigtailed boy for other girls, since his first oral experience was with the undisputed BJ Queen of Bev High.  That wonder disappeared with a slightly malicious thought of, (Like, their loss!) as she quickly corkscrewed her tongue around the smooth, swollen meat invading her gob.  Hearing the _totally_ -couldn’t-be-a-villain’s involuntary gasps and moans of pleasure from over her head and feeling his cock slid a little deeper into her mouth as he weakly thrust his hips filled Clover with delight, and she was all too happy to show him how much she enjoyed his appreciation for her technique as she gently fondled his balls while stroking and suckling him.

Less than a minute later, not that Clover minded too much as she saw giving head as a hobby rather than a chore, the dangly ‘cat toy’ she’d been pawing at had all but disappeared and a thin stream of precum was coating her tongue as she primed Ranma’s pump with her fist and lips in equal measure.  It was something of a surprise to her that the salty, bitter fluid from the pigtailed boy’s loins wasn’t _nearly_ as foul tasting as she’d been expecting, and Clover found herself anticipating the mouthful of spunk from her lover rather than bracing for it.  She let her renewed eagerness show in her technique as she bobbed her head faster and rubbed the heel of her hand against the shrunken conch shell of Ranma’s scrotum.

Despite Clover insisting that he shouldn’t hold back, Ranma couldn’t stop himself from disregarding the blonde’s advice almost immediately.  While ignoring the voice of experience was _never_ a good idea, Ranma justified the decision by telling himself that he wasn’t doing it for a selfish reason, and it would be good practice for figuring out what he should do during future encounters.  And then there was the ever present ego telling him that a ‘Man among Men’ wouldn’t blow his load the second a beautiful girl bathed his mushroom in spit.

Despite all this however, Ranma had only figured out that locking up his so called ‘meat grinder’ abs as tightly as possible was a good way to abate the pleasure Clover was giving him before he was on the final stretch, and at that point his efforts were akin to slipping a leash on a tsunami.  Simultaneously frustrated and overjoyed at being unable to restrain himself despite his years of physical training, the Heir to Anything Goes gasped, “Clover!  I-I’m getting close!” as his dam started to crack and some of the floodwaters escaped the reservoir of his balls.

There was a little splashback as a small but _thick_ shot of pre-release hit the roof of Clover’s mouth, giving her a sample of what would be the ultimate reward for her efforts this evening.  His warning echoing through the room and his salty cum spreading across her tastebuds, the blonde spy internally cheered (JACKPOT!!!) as she heeded his warning in her own special way.

Said ‘special way’ was to pull her hands away from Ranma’s manhood and immediately hug his legs, grabbing a chiseled asscheek in each of her hands and holding their bodies together.  With her tits now pressed against the tops of his thighs and her meal assured, Clover loudly moaned “Mm-hmm!” in acknowledgement of his warning before bobbing her head at a quick pace and sucking insistently on his prick.  More than making up for the lack of a hand to stroke him with, Clover fucked Ranma with her lips and tongue, making it clear that the only thing she wanted from him was more of the hot gooey _hors d'oeuvre_ she’d sampled a second ago.

The unexpected touch of Clover’s soft hands and fingers against his hard glutes joined forces with her wanton desire for his seed and shattered Ranma’s restraint like a sexual _Bakusai Tenketsu_ .  He howled the voracious blonde’s name as the first ropes of jism sped through his shaft, past her lips and into her waiting mouth.  His orgasmic cries ratcheted up in volume when she responded to his release by immediately swallowing the preliminary gob of spunk with a loud gulp, and then doing it _again_ the moment his second shot was fired.  Wet smacks and moans of delight were almost drowned out by the pounding in Ranma’s ears as he fought to remain standing, utterly helpless and unable to do anything but ride the waves of his first assisted orgasm while the girl who’d caused it slurped the end result with aplomb.  As the last of his eruption tapered off, Ranma wondered if anyone back home had heard his scream of joy, or if he gave a shit whether they did or not.

While it was a little uncomfortable for Clover, with Ranma’s hands pressing down on her shoulders rather hard, the blonde took it as a mark of pride as it meant she’d just made him cum so hard that he was _leaning_ on her so he wouldn’t fall over.  With that in mind, the fun-loving girl quickly sent her tongue probing any nook and cranny she could of dick that was shrinking in her mouth after having blown an out- _standing_ load down her throat.  Satisfied that she’d gotten every drop of his jism, Clover gulped the last bit of warm cream clinging to her tongue and hummed loudly, internally cackling with delight as she felt his dick vibrate and his legs shake in response.

Ranma panted heavily, eyes wide and staring blankly at the large orange headboard of Clover’s bed as his sensitive, post-orgasmic dick was treated to something that brought a very important philosophical question to his attention.  That being, should he scream for Clover to stop?  Or beg that she **never** stop?  Before consensus could be achieved, she opted for the former and he looked down to see the blonde's cerulean eyes shining up at him.  Despite the fact that his manhood was still between her lips, Ranma could still tell she was smiling as the last of his fluids were drained down her willing gullet, before she gave him one last toe-curling suck and pulled away, letting his semi-hard member fall from her mouth and licking her lips lewdly as she asked cheerfully, “So like, what’d ya think?”

“ _S-Sugoi…_ ” Ranma breathed weakly, which prompted the blonde to giggle.

“I’ll take that as a compliment!” she chirped as she let go of his ass.  Watching Ranma sway slightly as he tried to get his post-Manson-Vacuum’ sea legs, Clover nodded and thought, (Another satisfied customer!)  While he steadied himself with a little difficulty, Clover caught sight of the delivery system for her warm belly and reached out for it, taking a hold of his mildly floppy dick and giving it a few quick tugs.

“Wow!  You must have been _totally_ backed up!” The blonde observed as she manipulated his shaft, which acted like a thick rope that swung slightly with her subtle wrist movements.  Recalling how the volume of his release meant she had to swallow between every shot, Clover nodded approvingly and said, “I almost had to chew that load to get it all down, and you still have some left?  I’m impressed, Ranma!”

Ranma felt a surge of pride at her praise, though he was honestly just as surprised as she was, considering he felt like he'd lost about a gallon of his male essence to her powerful suction. “Yeah...you were amazing, Clover-chan.”

“Chan?” She gave him a quizzical look and paused mid-grope. “What’s that?”

“It’s a compliment.” Ranma smiled warmly at her, his chest **and** his balls feeling lighter as he openly appreciated the affectionate girl sitting in front of him. “Kinda like a petname.”

“Good.” Clover met his happy grin with one of her own. “Cause if I’m going to be guzzling your cum, It’d be pretty weird for you to keep calling me ‘Ma’am’.”  Noting that his dick, while holding the line, hadn't gotten a true second wind yet, Clover gave his member a few more yanks before sighing in disappointment. “But I'll have to wait for a bit before I get seconds.”

“That's fine, Clover-chan.” Ranma replied with a sincere, thankful grin. “If it doesn’t taste good, you don’t have to force yourself to swallow it twice.”

Clover responded to his willingness to miss out on another ‘Manson Vacuum’ for the sake of her taste buds by squeezing his prick and giving him a smoldering look. “Ranma, you keep saying stuff like that, and your next load won’t going in my _mouth_.”

While not enough to completely erase his social blindness, the crash course Ranma had been getting tonight helped him understand that between the half-lidded eyes and lustful expression, the beautiful blonde who’d just imbibed in his male essence was a hair away from taking his virginity, promise or no promise.  When he considered how the night had gone so far, it was only his fear and concern for Clover’s well-being that kept Ranma from taking her up on that offer, along with his trepidation at possibly disappointing the more experienced girl with his performance.  It also didn’t help that his mind flashed through several images of violence, all of which centered on the reactions of his fiancée’s and rivals if they ever found out he and Clover had kissed.  Let alone ‘ _kissed’_ , and _kami_ help him if they ever found out he and Clover had sex.

His musings were interrupted by Clover’s soft lips on his mushroom cap, humming slightly as she gave it an affectionate peck and smiled at him again. “Besides, you actually don’t taste that bad, so I definitely won’t mind another mouthful once you’re up again.”

“I don’t?” When Clover nodded in affirmation, Ranma sighed with relief. “That's good.  I didn’t want you to force yourself to do something you wouldn’t like because of me.”

Quirking her lips sultrily, Clover purred, “Trust me, Ranma; I have **_no_ ** problems sucking cock.  And when it’s one as nice as yours, it’s a _pleasure_ to show you how much I enjoy it.” She punctuated her statement by giving him a quick lick, then fixed a pouty expression on her face as she asked, “But, could you like, do me a favor, Ranma?”

Wondering why her mood had flipped again, Ranma cocked his head curiously and replied, “What’s that, Clover-chan?”

Clover gave a small sigh and removed her hand from his shaft, deepening Ranma’s confusion as she leaned away from him, keeping her eyes locked on his as she lay back on her bed and replied breezily, “Well, it’s going to be a little while until you’re _up_ for another round.” The blonde smiled as her hands slid down to her groin, making Ranma’s eyes widen as she spread her legs and ran her hands across her inner-thighs, completely exposing the pink petals of her womanhood to his eyes as she asked, “So like, do you want to give _me_ a kiss too?”

While obviously motivated by her own hormones, there was another plan at work with the spy’s tit-for-tat offer, as a method of testing Ranma’s moral fiber.  Despite the events so far, Clover hadn't _forgotten_ that he was possibly a wanted criminal, and decided to satisfy basic instincts _and_ her hunch regarding his real character with her personal make-or-break boyfriend test.  It was one she’d used before, and the success rate was usually very good for determining whether she’d found a keeper, or a jackass who’d be leaving with a fake phone number and would _not_ be getting a second date.  The criteria was as simplistic as it was brilliant to her mind; if a guy cut-and-run after getting their knob polished rather than show the proper gratitude by returning the favor, then they failed the ‘Cunning Linguist’ test and were a lot more selfish than they appeared.

And at first, that’s exactly what it looked like Ranma was, as his eyes flicked from her face to her pussy and back again with an expression of concern, hesitation, while still obviously aroused.  As he slowly kneeled down, Clover narrowed her eyes and thought, (If he doesn’t at least _try_ to make me cum after the epic blowjob I just gave him, I’m telling Sammy tomorrow that Ranma’s _totally_ not as nice as I thought!  And he **soo** isn’t getting a second date!)  When she noticed his expression growing more and more worried as he neared her entrance, Clover’s lips pursed in irritation and asked, “Is something _wrong_?” in a pointed tone.

Ranma caught her annoyance, but assumed it was because he hadn’t already gone to work, rather than realizing she wasn’t happy that he looked like she asked him to stick his tongue in a mousetrap.  With a small shake of his head, the pigtailed boy replied, “No, nothing’s wrong…” in a tone that all but screamed the opposite of what he’d said.

“Then, why do you look so nervous?”

The blonde’s insulted question came close enough to an accusation of fear that Ranma’s pride was pricked.  Frowning in annoyance, he tore his eyes from Clover’s glimmering petals and focused on her face as he said defensively, “Hey, I ain’t nervous, I’m just _concerned!_ ”

“ _Concerned_ about what?”

“Well…” Ranma looked back at her sex and breathed slowly in an attempt to calm himself down.  As he reached out and gently laid his hands on her inner thighs, he said in a softer voice, “I just wanna give as good as I got, you know?”

Clover smiled in understanding and relief when she heard that.  Performance jitters was a completely different animal than being selfish, and she was quick to reassure him by saying, “Don’t worry, Ranma.  Just play around a little and I’ll let you know if something isn’t working for me.  But I think you’ll be fine,” She added with a wink. “‘Cause you’re a really good kisser!”

“You think so?” Ranma smiled at her warmly, his ego bolstered by the girls praise and the knowledge that she wouldn't smack him if he did something wrong.

“I know so!  In fact-” Clover sat up and shifted her grip so her hands were hooked under her knees, before falling back again and bouncing a little against her mattress.  Now utterly at his mercy, Clover giggled at the sight of Ranma’s wide eyes staring at her delicate flower and chirped, “There you go!   _Bon appétit!_ ”

As the pink curtains parted before him, giving him a glimpse of her glimmering depths, Ranma couldn’t tear his eyes away from Clover’s womanhood.  Seeing just how _pink_ she really was fascinated him, and the fact that she was opening herself up to him in so many ways brought a rush of gratitude.  As he ran his hands along her thighs, marveling at her smooth skin and how warm it felt under his palm, he promised to repay that trust in full by making **damn** sure she wasn’t disappointed by his performance.  His new vow bolstered his confidence, reminding him of the _one_ positive thing he’d gotten from his curse was the chance to thoroughly explore a woman’s plumbing, even if he acknowledged that there were probably a lot of differences between a busty Japanese redhead and a leggy blonde American girl.  With a final quick prayer that the on-off switches he’d discovered were relatively universal, Ranma went in for the kill.

While his face moved closer to her sex, Clover’s smile faltered as she internally raged at his inexperience, though the source of her anger was most definitely **not** the boy who was getting ready to dive between her thighs. (Jeez, was every girl back home like, a total _lesbian_ or something?!) Her thought was disrupted for a moment as the feeling of his warm breath against her labia sent an anticipatory tingle through her groin, but quickly went back to mentally decrying every carrier of the XX chromosome in Nerima. (That explains why he’s never gotten a blowjob before; poor guy was surrounded by closet cases who didn’t want him, or couldn’t admit he wasn’t making them cum because they batted for the other team!)

She smiled at Ranma, watching as his grey-blue eyes intently studied her sex and lightly bit her lip to keep from begging him to have a taste already. (Well, _if_ it turns out he sucks at eating pussy, I’ll be **more** than happy to help him learn.  Repeatedly!)

Feeling ready to proceed, Ranma brought his hands closer to Clover’s peach, keeping his palms glued to the underside of her ass and thighs while reaching out and spreading her labia delicately with his thumbs.  He expected to hear sounds of embarrassment or objections to his scrutiny, like in those _hentai_ mangas Hiroshi and Daisuke would try to show him from time-to-time, but all he heard from his lover was a soft moan of pleasure at his touch.  Committing every fold and crevice to memory, Ranma leaned in and tentatively dragged his tongue between her petals, tasting her nectar experimentally as he heard a breathless cry of, “Oh God…” from the blonde whose cheeks were reddening as he probed her slit.

Smiling from the combination of Clover’s pleasant flavor and the sound of her approval for his ministrations, Ranma let one half her gates swing shut as he reached up to gently touched the hood of her sensitive nub with his index finger.  Slowly, he traced small, deliberate circles around Clover’s clit while teasingly licking and occasionally capturing one of her pink folds between his lips, bringing soft cooing and appreciative moans from the girl whose entrance he was toying with.

(O-okay!  So he-he doesn’t suck!) Clover whimpered as Ranma revved her engine at a tortuously slow pace, biting her lip to keep from whining like a bitch in heat as his finger made another lap around his fun button. (H-holy fuck, I think…I think he might be as good as Sammy, and she’s a **girl!**  How is he _doing_ this!?)

“Ranma…” Clover moaned as she stared at her bedroom ceiling through half-lidded eyes, finding it harder and harder to breathe as her womanhood went from damp to sodden under his tender touch. “You’re good, Ranma!  Oh my God, you’re making me so fucking wet!”

“Yeah?” Ranma smiled as he pulled his tongue away from her nether lips and kept his finger moving around her clit, internally cheering that somethings were universal between various girls anatomies as he said, “I'm doing something right?”

“You’re doing _everything_ right!” Clover gasped as her eyes closed, her hips starting to buck in response to his motions as she whined, “That feels **so** good…oh God, I think you’re gonna make cum!  Please, Ranma?   _Please_ make me cum?”

Smiling as he saw the tell’s in her body that signaled a similar reaction he’d had during his explorations, Ranma decided to ‘experiment’ a little and try something’s he couldn’t do by/to himself as he replied, “No problem, Clover-chan.” and focused a critical eye on the blonde’s erect clit.

(Hmm...what should I do?  Well, there was that thing I found out when I was messing around with with hot and cold water to see if I could control just how much it took to trigger the change.)  As he recalled his experiences with rapid temperature changes and a woman’s more sensitive nethers, Ranma worked up a coating of spit on his tongue and leaned in. (I wonder if it’ll work on Clover-chan…)

Clover waited, breathless with anticipation and arousal as she waited for him to dive in again.  The touch of his calloused hands and fingers on her burning skin was pushing her higher, sending sparks radiating out from her pussy and down her legs, making her toes curl as she whimpered, “Ranma!  I'm close!  Oh _God_ , I'm so close—”

His finger immediately pulled away from her clit, making her gasp, “No!” and look down as she cried out in a near panic, “Keep going!”

When she saw Ranma's mouth hanging open, tongue lolling like he was about to take a taste of some delicious ice cream, Clover realized the disappearance of his finger was simply him clearing the runway for something far better.  When he touched down, Clover threw her head back and screeched “Oh _fuck!!_ ” As Ranma took a long, slow lick along her nub.  The rough texture of his taste buds rubbing against her clit made Clover shake as a premature mini-gasm made thin rivulets of her fluids run down over her ass.  Her fingers digging into the soft skin under her knees as she tensed up, the blonde panted and gasped, “Oh-oh, God...I'm cumming…I'm _cumming…”_ While the pigtailed teen gave her clit a sloppy tongue-lashing.

Smiling as he heard Clover’s appreciation for his ability, Ranma pulled away and left her sodden nub exposed for a moment, then pursed his lips and blew a steady stream of cold air over her glistening pink button.

It might not have been the Neriman runaway’s birthday, but his wish to please his lover was granted as Clover came with a scream of, “Oh my **GOD!!** _”_ and began thrashing against the bed.  Sitting up due to her clenching abs, Clover gritted her teeth and gasped, “Fuck!  Fuck!  Fuck!  Oh fuck _me_!” While the spasming of her sex rippled out across her body.  Unfortunately, the blondes eyes had involuntarily slammed shut when she came, otherwise she would have been able to brace herself better for what Ranma did next.

Having built up the same measure of confidence for oral sex as with any other aspect of his life, the Heir to Anything Goes martial arts declared himself to be the founder of Anything Goes Cunnilingus and took the shrieking orgasm he'd just gotten for his efforts as a _dan_ rank in pussy eating.  Thinking that he should probably develop some secret techniques to go with his new school, Ranma recalled how it'd felt when Clover had corkscrewed her tongue around his knob and smiled as he thought, (Hmm...maybe, ‘Twisting Snake Finds A Pearl’?)

With no time like the present to try out his new technique, since Clover was feelin’ no pain and wouldn't mind too much if his experiment turned out to be a dud, Ranma leaned in and took the blonde’s clit between his lips and rapidly circled the sensitive nub with his tongue.

Clover Manson was many things.

A fashionista who always kept up to date on the latest trends.

An international super spy who'd saved the world several times over.

A free and fun-loving girl who was a bit boy crazy.

A borderline nymphomaniac.

Something that is not on the above list is ‘a squirter’.

But then again, there's a reason the word **“was”** is on that list.

Because at the moment, a steady stream of girl cum was drenching Ranma’s chin as Clover let out an orgasmic wail that set dogs howling across the neighborhood.  The tremulous falsetto of ecstasy vibrated the glass in her window while the blonde’s bucking hips tried desperately to drive her pearl deeper into Ranma's mouth, the heat of his warm lips and slippery tongue catapulting her back over her orgasmic threshold.  Tears of joy running down her cheeks from the intensity of the her orgasm, Clover let go of her legs and grabbed Ranma's hair in her fists as she thrust against his mouth and screamed, _“I'm cumming!  I'm cumming!”_ like a Buddhist sutra sung by a heavy metal band during an orgy.

Wincing slightly as Clover’s fingers dug into his scalp like her life depended on it, Ranma figured he'd adequately impressed the more experienced blonde and prepared to dismount.  Rather than let himself be bucked off, the pigtailed teen slowed his rolling licks until her fingers had loosened enough for him to stop and pull away from her sex, whereupon he wiped off his chin and gave his sopping hand a curious look before grinning up at his blissed out lover and asking, “So, how'd I do?”

After a few moments of pensive silence, Clover gave a low, tortured moan. “Am I dead?  ‘Cause I think I should be dead from that…”

Ranma laughed as he got to his feet and stepped to the side so he could lay next to the gasping blonde.  Smiling at her reddened cheeks and flushed chest, he said, “So, did I give as good as I got?”

“You did _better_ ,” Clover breathed as she regarded him with warm, appreciative eyes. “I haven’t cum that hard since Sammy went down on me last year.”

“Sammy?”

“ _Old_ friend of mine.” the blonde winked at him. “I think you’d like her.”

After a moment of processing that, Ranma’s eyes widened and he blurted, _“Her!?”_ in shock.

“Yep.” Giggling at the pig-tailed boy’s reaction to her mention of a lesbian encounter, which included his re-hardened cock giving a noticeable twitch, Clover casually reached out to cup his balls in her hand and roll them around with her fingers.  Watching the familiar cloud of desire fog Ranma’s gaze, Clover purred, “Don’t worry, Ranma.  I’m a sausage lover at heart.  Sammy just helps me out sometimes when I have a dry spell.”

“Clover-chan…” Ranma groaned as her soft fingers played with his sack.

“It’s a funny thing though, Ranma.  I’m not in a dry spell now,” Clover smiled as she dragged her fingers away from his nuts to wrap them around his shaft, wanking him slowly and murmuring, “I'm very, _very_ wet, and if you want me to stay wet, you’re gonna have to give me something…”

00000

Sam tapped her pen against the paper, having finally reached the stage where the facts and figures seemed to blur together on the trig worksheet she’d been staring at for the past half-hour.  Looking over to her cellphone at the end of her desk, the redhead let out a deep breath and shook her head before trying to refocus on her homework, though the deep scowl showed that her mind was elsewhere.

After a few moments, what little patience Samantha had hung onto gave way, and she let out a growl before reaching for the phone and thumbing through the contacts list.  Settling on one of her two most commonly used ones, she hit the call button and waited.  Her eye twitching as the faint chirping of the call going through on the other end of the lined lengthened, the redhead let out another wordless, frustrated growl when Clover’s voicemail picked up and the recording of her blonde friend cheerfully declared, _“Clover Manson!  I like, can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message, I’ll_ totally _get back to you!”_

When the beep sounded, Sam all but yelled into the reciever, “Clover!  I swear to _God_ , if you’re fucking Ranma, I am **never** speaking to you again!” before hanging up and slamming the phone down against her desk.

Minutes later, Sam’s anger had given way to guilt and she sighed as she picked up her phone again.  Waiting to go through the voicemail answering message again, Sam sighed when the familiar beep came again. “Clover, I’m sorry.  I’m really worried about you, okay?  I know you think Ranma is hot, but Britney wouldn’t have made a mistake about something like this!  If she says he’s dangerous, than for the love of God, be careful!  Call me back when you get a chance, okay?”

Her guilty conscience satisfied, Samantha set the phone down far more gently than before and found that the mathematical formulae had ceased jumping around and turning into gobbledy-gook.  With a smile, she went back to work, pausing briefly to narrow her eyes and mutter, “She _better_ not be fucking him…”

00000

“Ranma!” Clover shouted, her waist jerking in her lover’s grasp as he thrust into her slick depths again. “Oh God, fuck me, Ranma!  Fuck me!”

Ranma smiled widely as he savored her appreciative squeals.  Taking a brief pause to withdraw, he asked, “You like it, Clover-chan?”

“I fucking _love it!_ ” She moaned and desperately thrust her hips back against him, trying feel his probing flesh enter her sex once more. “Keep going!  Fuck me more, baby!”

“Well, if you want it that much, then I can do that!” He called before slamming home in one thrust.

 _“FUCK!”_ Clover bucked against his probing heat, the sudden intrusion making her scream as the wound spring of her built up orgasm snapped and sent the welcome tingling sparks racing through her sex while she cried out, “I’m _cumming!_  Ranma!  Oh, _fuck_ **me!!** ”

If Ranma’s tongue hadn’t been busy painting Clover’s inner walls and getting a fresh coating of her fluids across his taste buds, the pig-tailed teen would have been cheering his own prowess.  As it was, he hummed happily into the orgasmic blonde’s nether-lips while he frenched her sex.

Rather than have her drain his sack as she had before, Ranma had insisted that he be allowed to please Clover, partially out of gratitude for being his first lover but also to refine his newly developed school of Anything Goes Cunnilingus.

Clover, being unaware of both those things but more than willing to let Ranma make her squeal while she sucked him off again, agreed to his demands happily and introduced him to her favorite math equation, which was [69= **Fun!** ]

Now, laying on his side with his head between Clover’s smooth thighs, Ranma marveled at how his life had turned around since coming to Beverly Hills.  Returning his tongue to the buxom blonde’s sensitive folds, the pigtailed boy was determined to show the latest and greatest of the _many_ reasons he was never going back to Nerima how much he appreciated her by trying out something that always made him feel better on those rare moments of solitude back in Nerima where he could ‘play’ with his cursed form.

However, Clover had other ideas as she groaned, “Holy _ffuuuuuccckkk_ …” When the orgasmic waves started to break, though those ideas were put on a temporary hold when he stopped sampling her vintage and prolonged the descent from the mountaintop by running his tongue around the rim of her entrance in slow circles.  The blonde didn't know it, but she had a hunch that Ranma had the biggest _pussy_ -eating grin on his face as her moans of pleasure wavered in pitch and tone while he brought her in for a soft landing.

As he finished using his tongue to play ‘cups’ with her clenching sex, Clover remembered what she had to tell him and looked between their bodies, smiling at the sight of his dripping chin between her legs even as she moaned in exasperation, “God, Ranma; are you _ever_ gonna leave my poor pussy alone?”

Ranma blinked at the non-sequitur that _sounded_ like a denouncement of his ability, and pulled away so he could meet Clover’s warm gaze with a confused look. “What's wrong, Clover-chan?  Aren't you enjoying yourself?”

Feeling his cock brush against her cheek, the blonde’s flicked towards it for a moment as she gripped his shaft, pointing it away from her face and stroking slowly as she chuckled, “More than, Ranma!  But if you keep acting like my cunny tastes like ice cream, you're gonna wear me out before I can return the favor!”

Pressing her off-hand against his hip, Clover kept her body tight against Ranma’s as she rolled him onto his back, and then called over her shoulder while she kept wanking him. “So like, just lay back and let me return the favor, baby.  With all the pussy juice you slurped up, I _really_ need to re-hydrate.”

Ranma smiled and replied, “Okay Clover—”

Only for the last work to come out as a low moan of “ _‘—chaaannn.”_ When his crown was re-acquainted with Clover’s skilled mouth.  

While Clover insisted that he take a break, Ranma wasn’t ready to make her work his pole with impunity due to a combination of wanting to make her feel good too, and not wanting to shoot off too quickly again.  The pigtailed boy was pretty confident he could restrain his ‘fire-at-will’ impulse at the moment, but wasn’t going to take any chances as slowly teased his lover by tracing circles around her labia with his finger.

Clover moaned at his touch, smiling around his shaft as her appreciative hum brought a brief pause in Ranma’s more relaxed stimulation as he gasped from somewhere behind her. (God, I _totally_ can’t believe _I’m_ the first girl to suck this hottie off!) the blonde mused as she hummed again, feeling his dick twitch against her lips as she tapped her fingers against his shaft like she was playing a flute. (As good as he eats pussy, he must have had the most selfish girlfriend in the world—)

Clover’s motions stopped for a moment and she narrowed her eyes.  The effect would have been comical for anyone watching as it looked like the blonde was glaring angrily at her date’s ballsack, but while the wrinkled skin of Ranma’s nuts was in her in her line of sight, her mind and the target of her sudden outrage were elsewhere.

(Ooohhh, that psycho _bitch_ he told me about!  I’ll bet he went down on her and she told him he _sucked_ so she didn’t have to return the favor!  That’s why he was so nervous about eating me out even though he’s got the tongue of a God!  That bitch kept telling him he needed to do better so he’d have no confidence with other girls!)

The blonde super-spy’s eyes glinted and her grip tightened on his shaft as she silently raged, (She probably even told other girls he sucked so she could keep him to herself!  That selfish _cunt_ !).  Turning her head slightly, Clover’s lips tried to pull back into a smile would’ve sent alarm bells ringing in Ranma’s mind if her face wasn’t blocked by the curvature of her ass and he wasn’t distracted by the pink, pouting lips of her quim. (Well, as long as I’m giving him his first blowjob, I should show him how a _real_ girl should’ve been treating his cock-of-ages.)

Ranma grinned confidently as Clover paused in gobbling his knob.  While a part of him believed it was because she wanted to keep him from popping off too quickly again, his far more egocentric side was reassured by the fact that despite the heaven of her soft mouth around his pole and her tongue scraping the head of his cock, his desire to fire his seed into the blonde’s hot mouth was the last…well, it was still the first thing on his mind, but it was distant enough that he didn’t need to concentrate on reining back the instinctual impulse to shoot his load.

When her hand moved away from his shaft to cup his balls, Ranma cocked an eyebrow curiously.

Then his eyes widened as her lips slid downwards, moving past the point where she usually stopped at before reversing course.

The pigtailed boy groaned, “Oh my _God!_ ” when Clover’s mouth formed a soft ring around the base of his shaft, while the rest of his dick was fully embedded in the blonde’s wet, gloriously pleasurable gob.  Now sufficiently distracted due to getting deep-throated, the sudden fondling of his balls made Ranma’s hips jerk and press his groin against her chin, instinctively trying to drive more of his length further into the tightening hole it was imbedded in.  Her amused giggle sent a chain of vibrations through his dick and up his spine, turning the ‘distant’ desire to cum into a funny-car that was now drag-racing to capitalize on her position and make sure his load went straight down her neck before she pulled away.

“Clover!” Ranma gripped her ass-cheeks tightly in both hands, no longer able to appreciate the sight of her moist peach as his head was pressing against her rumpled bedsheets while he shouted, “Oh _God!_  Clover, stop!”

The BJ Queen of Beverly Hills paused and pulled away at that, though to Ranma’s simultaneous delight and consternation, she still had half his cock in her craw when she tossed a questioning, “Hmm?” over her shoulder and lathered up his prick with her tongue.

His need for release decelerating from drag-race to a high-speed chase, Ranma panted, “I-I’m gonna cum if you do that!  I need to hold—”

The pitailed boy’s warning was disregarded just as quickly as he ignored her insistence that he not restrain himself, as another giggle from Clover made his legs shake before she descended again.  That shaking upgraded to pre-quake tremors as her tongue ran along the top of his shaft, while the head of his dick got up close and personal with her vocal chords.  The blonde quickly set up a smooth, but minute pace as a willing face-fuckee that made the pig-tailed boy’s hips buck again, his wordless moans of pleasure going ignored by the girl who merrily hummed a song that Ranma couldn’t identify as she sucked him off.

While it would have been something of a boner-killer for most any boy in a similar situation, Clover found _‘Whistle While You Work’_ to be _very_ appropriate for her current mindset.  Due to his depth, she could dimly feel Ranma’s pre-release dripping down her throat, though only the tiniest amounts flowed onto her tongue.  As she couldn’t taste the appetizer to her second helping of hot Ran-cum, there was a tiny feeling of disappointment, but it was far overshadowed by the expectant glee of waiting to swallow another load of her new beau’s spunk.

His hips were jerking more forcefully  and the muscles in his groin clenched as the finish line came in sight.  With no way out but through, Ranma called out, “Clover-chan!  I’m gonna—!”

If there was anything more satisfying to the sexually liberated blonde than making someone scream her name, Clover had yet to experience it as her lips spread slightly wider by the throb and swell of imminent release.  Recognizing the signs and capitalizing on it with the practiced ease of a master cock-sucker, the spy bottomed out and internally cheered with wicked glee while her ball fondling hand slid two fingers underneath her lover’s nuts and vigorously rubbed a certain spot along the thick tube just underneath his skin.

While Ranma believed he’d founded and come close to perfecting Anything Goes Cunnilingus with his first lover, the teen realized that he’d inadvertently challenged a 9 _dan_ master of ‘Blow-Job Fu’ when her touch hit the nitrous oxide on his orgasm and he was suddenly shouting as ropes of jism splattered against the back of Clover’s throat.  The suction and tightness as she immediately gulped down the first shots of his substantial load made his voice rise higher, and the constant touch of her magic fingers brought him to a vocal pitch that even his girl form couldn’t reach.  Shivering while he drained his balls into the blonde’s gullet, Ranma’s eyes rolled back and he fought to remain conscious as she finished sucking down the last of his seed.

Clover lavished Ranma’s manhood with attention, albeit gently as his shrinking dick pulled away from her neck while she made sure her lover knew she appreciated the gooey load now warming her belly.  When his meat had gone as far as it could, she raised her head and let it fall from her lips, almost purring with satisfaction of her work as she sat up and looked over her shoulder.  Laughing delightedly at the expression of a man who’d just gotten a triple-AAA blowjob and been hit with a 50 megaton cranial detonation, the blonde chirped, “So like, how was your first deepthroat, _Rrraaannmmaaa?_ ”

 _“S-sugoi_ …” Ranma affirmed with a barely perceptible nod while the blonde lifted off his body and swung her leg over so she could sit next to him.  The thoroughly mussed up pink sheets they’d been ‘kissing’ on stuck to her backside, but Clover paid no attention to that as she made a point of slowly dragging her tongue across her lips and smacking them pointedly where he could see her.

“Hey, turnabout is _totally_ fair play!” Clover smiled as she stepped off the bed and threw over her shoulder, “Now you know how I felt when you made me squeal earlier!” as she padded away from him.

Too worn out by the mind blowing oral sex he’d received, Ranma didn’t watch as his lover left the room and only dimly heard the distant sound of running water and gargling as he thought, (I…am _never_ going back to Nerima.)

While not the first time he’d had that thought since arriving in Beverly Hills, a layer of extra meaning was added to his internal declaration as he considered the idea of going back to a place where being seen with a member of the opposite sex or even the same sex was enough reason for a riot to break out.  Mulling over his renewed desire to stay away from Tokyo’s largest open-air insane asylum, the pigtailed teen didn’t register Clover’s return until her face filled his vision, albeit tilted at a right-angle to his own as she looked at him curiously and asked, “Like, penny for your thoughts?”

Ranma smiled warmly at her and before she could react, he pressed his hand against the blonde hair at the back of her head and pulled her mouth against his once more.  While her moan of surprise again morphed into an exaltation of pleasure as they kissed, Ranma was pleasantly surprised to find her mouth tasted minty.  Then his eyes widened as he considered where her lips had been recently, but the waves of revulsion at the thought of tasting his own semen were held back by confusion at the decidedly odd flavor of his essence.

Breaking contact, Clover breathed, “God, you are just _begging_ me to fuck you, promise or no promise.” while smiling at him through flushed cheeks.

Rather than respond to that, Ranma looked at her curiously and asked, “Clover?  I thought you said the spaghetti would make my… _stuff_ taste bad?”

Clover blinked at that, and then started to giggle.  Her amusement growing as she stood up, Clover laughed loudly while Ranma slowly sat up and turned to face her, his confusion turning to slight annoyance as he asked, “What’s so funny?”

“Like, you are, Mr. Wild Horse!” the blonde chuckled, completely unmindful of the warning regarding Ranma’s status as a dangerous criminal as she laughed at his naivety. “I figured you were gonna want to kiss me goodnight, so I went to the bathroom and used some mouthwash!  Didn’t you hear me?”

Recalling the faint gargling sounds from earlier, Ranma blushed and let out an embarrassed, “Oh…”

Shaking her head and grinning at his adorably flustered expression, Clover giggled in disbelief. “I swear, Sato; if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’d _never_ had sex before!”

“Umm…I haven’t.”

Clover froze in mid-laugh, her eyes snapping open as she slowly turned her head towards her lover and regarded the 100% pure-bred stud whose cum she’d just guzzled.  Her eye twitched as her mind attempted to process the sheer impossibility of what she’d heard, Clover whispered, “You…you’re a virgin?”

Taken aback by the shock in her voice, Ranma suddenly wondered if she’d been expecting a more experienced lover for the evening and was going to be unappreciative of what might appear to be an underhanded deception.  Grimacing apologetically, the pig-tailed teen scratched the back of his neck and looked away from her. _“Hai,_ Clover-chan…”

While Clover had been surprised at the story Ranma had told regarding a psychopathically violent gymnast and a father who thought throwing beehives at his only son was ‘training’, she’d seen the sincerity in his eyes and heard the disgust in his voice, and believed the otherwise insane tale.

When he’d claimed he’d never gotten a blowjob before, the nervousness and surprise at her touch had lent credence to yet another incomprehensible situation, and she’d believed him.

Now, looking ashamed of himself and guilty as sin while telling her that this was the first time he’d ever partaken in carnal delights, after playing her pussy like a _harp_ , Clover desperately looked for some tell or sign that Ranma had been lying to her the entire night and spinning wild stories towards some nefarious end.  But try as she might, the super-spy couldn’t see _anything_ except the same honest truth radiating off of the _‘dangerous super-criminal’_ that he’d shown all evening.  Faced with the idea that she was the first intimate contact with the fairer sex that Ranma had ever had, Clover acted on the first impulse that leapt to her mind.

Ranma let out a ‘woof!’ of air as Clover suddenly tackled him to the bed and knocked the wind out of him.  Surprised by suddenly having the hot blonde holding him tightly while laying against his torso, the pig-tailed teens shock grew as Clover sobbed wildly into his ear. “Oh my God!  This is, like, the **cruelest** thing I’ve _ever_ heard!”

“Clover?!”

“How!?   _How_ could you be a virgin!?” she cried despondently. “You've got the hottest body I’ve ever _seen!_  You’re a _sweetheart_ with a cock most guys would _kill_ for!  You made me fucking **squirt!**  How could **_any_** girl have left you un-fucked for so long!?”

Unsure of how to reassure the apparently heartbroken girl who was complimenting him like a grieving widow, Ranma simply patted her side consolingly and offered a hesitant, “ _Anno_ …it’s fine, Clover-chan.  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

Hearing his quiet assumption of responsibility brought more tears to Clover's eyes as she considered the absolute travesty of justice that could allow a guy like Ranma to have gone so long without knowing a woman’s body.  Underneath the waves of sadness, a determined anger swelled and steeled the blondes resolve as she shook her head and intoned, “No, Ranma.  Don't be sorry.”

Hearing a measure of steel in Clovers voice, Ranma paused his consoling motions and glanced at her worriedly. “Clover-chan?”

Pulling herself up, Clover rested her hands on Ranma’s shoulders as she met his eyes with a serious, stern glare before saying, “We’re going to take a shower.”

“Eh?”

Paying no attention to Ranma’s quizzical exclamation, Clover continued outlining her plan. “We’re gonna take a shower and afterwards you’re going home while I clean my sheets, because if mom comes home while you’re here or my room smells like sex, she’ll ground me for the rest of my life.”

Seeing her motivation, but not the end goal, Ranma nodded and said, “Alright…” While he waited for the other shoe to drop.  When it did, the pigtailed teen’s eyes widened and he flushed bright crimson as Clover leaned in until she was inches away from his lips and spoke in a lustful growl that made Ranma wonder if she was going to mate with him or _eat_ him.

“But once you leave this house, all bets are off, Ranma.” Clover intoned with grim seriousness. “The next time you come here, there is **nothing** that's gonna stop me from taking you on the ride of your life.”

“Clover-chan, we can't!” Ranma denied her nervously.  Being pinned under a feral girl who’d gone into heat when he wasn't paying attention was a fairly new experience for him, but no less hair-raising as he considered the implications of what she was demanding. “If Koda- _Konachi_ finds out—”

“I don't care.” The blonde's eyes flared in a combination of anger and lust. “I don't care if some total schizo from Japan shows up on my front door with a razor-edged hula hoop, because the next time you **come** in my _house_ ; you are going to **cum** inside _me_ .  My pussy, my ass, or my mouth, in any order you want, but you are going to fuck _all_ of them before you leave again.”

His mind filling with images of the beautiful girl laying on top of him being taken in various ways and positions brought a strange dual feeling of amazement and dread to Ranma, due to the fact that he somehow hadn’t rehardened at her erotic proclamation and she’d probably mount him on the spot if he did. “Clover-chan, please,” He tried to impress upon her the seriousness of what she was proposing. “I can't do that.  Even saying I _kissed_ you is dangerous enough—”

 **“Don't.  Care.”** Clover’s deep growl silenced Ranma's objections as she locked eyes with him and the pig-tailed teen realized she was just as deadly serious about having sex as he was with doing anything _except_ that.  Seeing that she'd made her point, some of Clover’s inner fire dimmed and she smiled at him while reaching up to gently caress his cheek. “Ranma.  I’m just telling you the facts, okay?  If you don’t want to have sex with me, then you just can’t come over here anymore.”

“But…” Ranma sat up on his elbows, looking crestfallen as he made an attempt at damage control. “What if I want to-I mean, I thought we had fun?”

“Ranma, I’m not saying I didn’t have fun.” Clover reassured him with a wide grin “Between you telling off Mandy, being a total gentleman and a genius clit-tickler, there’s no way in hell I’m not seeing you again.” Leaning in close, the blonde lowered her eyes and she purred sultrily, “But if you wanna _kiss_ me again, we have to do it at your place.  Cause if you come here…” she gave his bottom lip a playful nip “Well, you know…”

Relieved that he hadn’t completely offended his new girlfriend, Ranma smiled and returned Clover’s affectionate gesture with one of his own by kissing the tip of her nose and saying, “I understand, Clover-chan…” Before looking at her curiously. “But, why do you suddenly want to have sex with me so badly?  And why do you sound so angry about it?”

The blonde’s eyes narrowed and she muttered disgustedly, “Because I think it's _criminal_ that the only girl in Japan who gave you the time of day was a raging nutjob, and **_I_ ** am going to show you what you were missing out on—Ranma, why are you laughing?”

Clover blinked in confusion as her target/date/lover laid back on her bed and laughed loudly, his shaking body making her breasts jiggle slightly while the super-spy wondered where this latest strange reaction had come from. After a few moments that made her wonder if she’d literally blown the poor boy’s mind, Ranma’s laughter trailed off and he smiled at her while chuckling softly. “Clover-chan.  You’re amazing.”

She blushed at the compliment and replied with a small smile and a grateful, “Thanks, Ranma.” before she pushed herself off him and walked towards the door. “Now let’s get that shower, before mom gets home.”

Ranma took a moment to admire the movements of her smooth backside as she moved away from him, before getting to his feet and following after her.  Letting her well-muscled glutes lead the way, the pig-tailed teen thought to himself, (If somebody had told me a month ago that this would happen, I’d never have believed them.)

Smirking and looking out of the corner of her eye at Ranma, Clover added a wiggle to her walk, knowing that the boy could probably watch her leave all day long as she internally high-fived herself and cheered, (Who’s the best spy _ever?!_  I didn’t even have to fuck him and I got so much information out of him!  Sammy and Alex are like, _never_ gonna believe this!)

**-Omake-**

As they showered, the teenagers hands wandered across each others bodies, exploring at a more sedate pace as the tide of raging hormones ebbed.  With the roughness of Ranma’s skin mixed with the gentleness of his movements and the slippery soap, Clover found herself growing wet as he lathered up her breasts and whispered, “Oh…I’ll give you so much money if you keep doing that…”

“Really?” Ranma asked teasingly as he pinched her nipples lightly, enjoying the slight squeak from her lips as he mused aloud. “Hmm, think I could make some money by doing this as a part-time job?”

While the blonde’s immediate mental reaction was from an animalistic and possessive portion of her psyche which shouted, (MINE!!!) she recognized his tone and found it to be rather cute as she grinned cheekily. “Hmm, that could work, but you’d probably have to deal with lots of uptight snobs like Mandy.”

While Ranma’s hands didn’t pause in their motions, he frowned and muttered, “Oh…nevermind then.”

Clover giggled, “Oh don’t worry about it!  You’d just have to play into the stereotype a little bit, or they’d claim it wasn’t ‘authentic’.” leaning back against his chest, the blonde purred, “Would Ranma like too-too good time with horny girl?  Maybe give happy ending?”

Ranma immediately stiffened behind Clover, though not in the way she’d have preferred as his hands had similarly frozen in their gentle massage of his chest.  Slowly, his hands slid down to her waist and gently twisted her hips so she’d turn around.  But when she did, the blonde blinked at the haunted, nervous expression on the pig-tailed boy’s face as he said, “Clover-chan...please don’t ever talk like that again.”

Clover blinked quizzically, “Uhh…okay?  Why?”

Ranma simply shuddered. “Let’s just say I’m not into roleplaying…”


	2. Secrets Between Friends and A Helping Hand

I just want to say, that this site is probably going to replace one of the two locations I had used until now to post chapters of this story.  Because dealing with the layout of one that let's you adjust Font Size by "100%, 112%, 150%, etc" and will disproportionately throw in gaps between sentences and paragraphs in an ever-stacking cluster fuck, is that it will selectively IGNORE the copy-pasta attempt to replace the utterly ker-fuckled version of the chapter you're editing with a fresh edition.

And if you say 'Fuck it!' and start over by deleting the FUBAR'd chapter with the intent to replace it, you can only add the replacement chapter at the end of the current string.  IE, the attempt to re-upload Chapter 1 from scratch can only be slotted in as a _"NEW"_ chapter 6.

And if you have to ask what site it is, you get two hints.  Google is your friend, and it's NOT "aff".

* * *

 

How I Learned to Love the Wild Horse  
Chapter 2:  **Secrets Between Friends and A Helping Hand.**

00000

"I don't believe it."

"Mm-hmm."

"He  _laughed!?_ "

It was Saturday following Clover's date with Ranma, and she'd called up her partners-cum-besties to the mall for a clandestine sitrep. Sitting at a table in the food court, the blonde nodded understandingly while Samantha and Alex stared at her, completely thunderstruck. "Like that snob told him a funny joke or something. All he did was look at her and say ' _At least it wasn't a spiked baton'_  before asking the waiters if he could clean up in back."

Sam shook her head, her expression turning serious at the reminder of the far more important and unusual part of the story. "Speaking of that, you sure he wasn't kidding you about this Konachi girl? It sounds too unbelievable to be true."

"Trust me, Sammy. I know the difference between a guy who  _says_  an old girlfriend was crazy, and a guy who  _means_  it. Ranma wasn't lying about her."

"But…Konachi isn't a girls name." Alex mused aloud, "It's not even a word in Japanese."

Sam narrowed her eyes at the bilingual Latina while Clover looked taken aback. "A-are you sure?"

"Positive." Alex nodded emphatically. "The closest word I can think of is Ko _da_ chi, which is a kind of shortsword…" The Latina's brow furrowed thoughtfully as she added, "Huh. It's also the name of a flower, so it  _could_  be a girl's name…"

"It's probably not either of those, Alex." Sam declared, clasping her hands in front of her as if in prayer, though the redhead's thoughts were far and away from asking for divine intervention. "It'd be pretty dumb to just swap out a letter if he was trying to keep her name a secret. And if he's as bad as Britney said, he's probably using a red herring to make sure Clover couldn't dig up anything on him…" Looking off into the middle distance with a studious expression, the redhead muttered, "He's better than I thought."

While Alex mulled over the real identity of Ranma's mystery stalker, Clover glared at the 'leader' of the trio. Recalling how dense her date had been and how he  _had_  slipped up several times and used 'd' in his unwanted love interest's name, she said defensively, "I'm pretty sure Alex is right, 'cause as sweet as he is, Ranma's really thick-headed and I heard him hesitate a couple of times when he said her name."

Alex pursed her lips, feeling bad for Ranma if he really  _had_  been dealing with someone as crazy as that back home. In the name of the investigation and possibly keeping him safe, because even a villain didn't deserve to have a psycho like that chasing after them, she offered, "So, we need to keep a lookout for a highschool girl from Nerima named Kodachi, whose from a rich family and into gymnastics—"

"And is even more into Ranma than you are." Sam finished Alex's musing with a meaningful look at Clover. "Speaking of which—"

" _Gawd_ , for the last time, Sammy; I didn't sleep with Ranma!" Clover groaned. "He took me home, kissed me goodnight, and that was it!"

Good as Clover was at lying, Sam had been reading up on people's tells and speech patterns to make herself more effective at catching liars, and her eyes narrowed as she caught a ping on her radar labeled ' _half-truth_ ' at Clover's commentary on the events of the evening. While only enough to make her think the blonde had probably had made out with their target a fair bit, especially since it wouldn't be the first time someone made the distinction between 'slept with' and 'had sex', it was Clover rapidly changing the subject with a gleeful "But if you think Kodachi is crazy, wait until you hear about his dad!" That sent up a mental warning flare and Sam's eyes narrowed.

"Just kissed?"

"What?"

Clover's surprised tone with just the faintest hint of nervousness all but confirmed Sam's hypothesis and a low growl came to the redhead as she repeated, "Ranma  _just kissed_  you? Nothing else?"

"N-no." Clover laughed lightly, the stress-induced giggle even bringing a curious look from Alex as she said, "We got home, he kissed me and then left…well, he did kiss me on the  _lips_  but—"

*ding*

That was what Sam was looking for, and her eyebrows shot up into her hairline as she caught the tangled knot of Clover's deception. Before the blond could change the subject again, Sam growled, "Which ones?"

Noting the eye twitch and throbbing vein in Sam's forehead, Clover gulped and returned nervously, "Which one what?"

"Which  **lips**  did he  _kiss_ , Clover?"

Alex blinked and tried to decipher the redhead's strange query as she said, "Umm, Clover only has one 'lips' Sammy. Well, technically she has two lips but only one  _pair_  of…"

It took a bit, but eventually the innocent Latina's mind curved down some unladylike roads and she caught the subtext and double entendre to Sam's question. Her cheeks flushed crimson immediately and she let out an embarrassed, " _Sam!"_  While looking around to make sure there weren't any eavesdroppers. "Why would you ask that!? Clover said she wouldn't…you know! So there's no way she'd—"

Sam's response to Alex's comment was to turn almost as red-faced as her friend, though her flushed cheeks were obviously for a far different reason since she was still glaring angrily at Clover. Realizing that the blond hadn't answered Sam's question, Alex turned to see the blonde sweating nervously, her face a mask of dread that lit a neon sign over her head which read [Totally Busted]. At the sight, Alex's jaw dropped and she gasped, "Clover, you  _promised_ —"

Clover immediately sagged and moaned piteously, "I couldn't help it!" Before reaching across the table. Grabbing one of Samantha's hands between hers, the blonde's lip quivered as she pleaded with her friend, who had been shocked out of her outrage at Clover's lack of propriety. "Sammy,  _please_ understand! He was such a sweetheart that it took  _everything_  I had just to stop at giving him my 'Manson Vacuum'! He can't be a bad guy!  **Please**  tell Jerry that Britney made a mistake and Ranma's not a criminal!"

"Clover!" The anger returned with a vengeance, making Sam yank her hand out of the blonde's grasp and leaving her to whimper teary-eyed as the redhead barely managed to keep her voice down. "I'm not doing that! Especially with what I found last night in the evidence that Britney sent us!"

"What evidence?" Clover mewled, her cheeks still wet from pleading with the leader of the trio.

"Security camera footage, police reports on property damage and a slew of paperwork showing that wherever Ranma goes, destruction follows behind him!" Sam replied energetically, trying to burn off some of the angry energy she was feeling towards her boy-crazy friend as she not-quite ranted, "I haven't gone through  _everything_  yet, but as far back as a year ago, Ranma or that redheaded girl will walk into diners or restaurants or schools and within 5 minutes, the doors were torn off the hinges, burns and craters are everywhere,  _and_  there'll be holes through the walls like the place got hit by a wrecking ball!"

"Did Ranma do it?"

Sam grimaced at Clovers almost desperate plea and admitted, "No…the tapes Britney was able to send are kinda patchwork, and she says it's because she's had to try and restore security footage that was taped over, but the police reports and insurance claims on a bunch of teenagers smashing everything is sight makes things pretty clear he's responsible."

"I could just be that Kodachi chick chasing him!" Clover said desperately. "If she's crazy enough to use hidden weapons in a gymnastics match and rich enough to get away with it-'

"Fixing a sporting match is a hell of a lot different than blowing up a building, Clover! And what makes you so damn sure Ranma isn't a villain!?"

"He's a  _virgin_ , Sammy!"

Samantha and Alex froze at that. The Latina beauty was staring at her mournful friend with a subtly twitching eye while the dumbstruck redhead asked, "He's a what?"

"A  _virgin!_ " Clover moaned broken heartedly, not noticing that Alex's twitching eye worsened as she went on. "Sammy, he passed my Cunning Linguist test so good that he made me  _squirt!_  And I know that should be proof he was lying, because  _how_  could somebody do that well the first time they have sex—"

Sam and Alex flushed crimson at that, but for different reasons as the redhead looked around to make sure none of the passersby heard Clover's lewd statement, while Alex gritted her teeth, the muscles in her jaw bulging slightly from holding back several harsh retorts to her friend's statement.

"-but  _then_  he turned me down when I said I wanted to kiss him again! It was like pulling teeth getting him to let me vaccuum his hose the first time, 'cause when I told him spaghetti makes cum taste bad,  _he didn't want me to swallow!"_

Dropped jaws followed Clover's moan of sorrowful disbelief, and Alex whispered in shock, "He…didn't want you to… _kiss_  him?!"

"He didn't want you to  _swallow!?_ " Sam's eye twitched as she tried to recalibrate her mental gears for what amounted to a Bigfoot sighting, or rather, watching Bigfoot tango on the back of the Loch Ness monster with an alien and Elvis. "He-he's insane! There isn't a man alive who would do that, bad taste or not!"

"He did!" Clover sniffled while her eyes shone with unshed tears. "Sammy, Ranma is the biggest cinnamon roll I've ever met besides Alex—"

The Latina in question blushed at the praise.

"—and him being a virgin is a crime against sex!"

Alex's feeling of gratitude evaporated in a wave of outrage as she gaped at the blonde who was still pleading with their mutual friend. "Sammy please, I told Ranma that the next time we went out, I'd ride his wild horse for all he's worth, and I  _can't_  just let him waste away like this!"

Sam sat back, running over the possibilities of Clover's information. While not averse to the idea that a mistake  **had**  been made somewhere and Ranma was innocent of any wrongdoing, the redhead was also considering the possibility that her friend had been brainwashed by an evil genius. Before she could put the second theory under a microscope, Sam heard Alex whisper, "Waste away?" in a low voice.

Looking away from Clover, Sam's eyes widened in surprise at the furious expression on Alex's face as she muttered darkly, "Is that what you think, Clover?"

"Huh?"

Clover's helpless sorrow at the unfairness of the universe was replaced by utter confusion as she likewise noticed Alex glaring at her like she'd slapped her friend across the face. When Alex spat, "You think being a virgin means Ranma is  _wasting away!?_ " the blonde grimaced as she realized that's exactly what she inadvertently did by decrying Ranma's chastity when her friend was similarly inexperienced.

Sam winced and looked at Clover disapprovingly, thinking that the boy-crazy blonde should've realized that bad-mouthing someone's virginity in front of a maiden wasn't the smartest move. Granted, the shock of what she'd heard also made her forget that Alex hadn't had sex yet, but the point stood as Clover sat up and said apologetically, "Alex, sweetie, I didn't mean it like that—"

"Then how did you mean it?" Alex demanded while the glare she'd been giving Clover increased in intensity to the point of withering. "Cause it sounds to me that you feel  _sorry_  for Ranma and want to sleep with him as an act of  _mercy!_  Is that what I should do?! Spread my legs for some guy who feels  _sorry_  for me because ' _I can't be any good if I'm a virgin'_!"

"Whoa, Alex, Clover wasn't saying—"

"I didn't mean it like that! I—"

"Just because I haven't found the right guy yet doesn't mean I'm committing ' _a crime against sex'_  by not screwing any boy I see!" Alex spat as she stood up, grabbing her purse off of the seat next to her before muttering, "I'm going home." And stomping off into the crowd.

Sam and Clover took a few moments to register the shock of their friend's departure, then grabbed their belongings and sprinted off after the Alex before she disappeared.

00000

Ranma-chan grumbled, having been walking along when a freak puddle and a careless bus driver had come from out of nowhere to douse her while she'd been heading to the local mall. Never having had the chance to go shopping like back home, Ranma had been looking forward to the experience of being in a crowd and not expecting an attack from any quarter.

(Maybe it's better that I'm a girl for this) she thought to herself, even as she wrung out her silk shirt with a grumble. (Shopping at the mall is supposed to be a girly thing to do, isn't it?)

As she approached the main doors, a pretty girl with brown skin and dark hair stormed out, scowling darkly. Maybe it was the short haircut or the furious expression, but something about her triggered a familiar impulse in Ranma-chan's mind and put her instincts on high alert. As she debated whether or not she could be the cause of the girl's anger, a very familiar voice call out, " _Alex, wait!"_

When Clover came into view, Ranma-chan's carefully honed Neriman survival skills kicked in, as any woman in a 6 block radius who he knew, or was known  _by_  a woman he knew and was  **that** angry was probably pissed at  _him_  for some reason. With a half-second to glance around, the redhead dove into one of the decorative bushes lining the sidewalk before the blonde he'd gotten biblical with the night before noticed her. It wasn't until Clover and a pretty redhead with long hair caught up to 'Alex' that Ranma-chan blinked and groaned in disgust, realizing that nobody in America knew about his curse and thus there was no reason for her to hide herself. Well, maybe she could nonchalantly step out of the bush and not draw too much attention…

" _Alex, I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't trying to insult you!"_

" _Well, you did! How would Ranma feel if he knew what you said, Clover?!"_

Ranma-chan froze solid as her lover from last night replied, " _Alex, everything I said just now, I told Ranma last night! I wasn't insulting him—"_

" _Really? He didn't mind having_ 'fingercuffs'  _cry cause he didn't want to sleep with you?!"_

The unnamed redhead chastised the brunette with a harsh cry of, " _ **Alex!**_   _That's too far!"_  and Ranma-chan held position, though she narrowed her eyes at the sight of Clover looking absolutely heartbroken at the darker-skinned girl's cruel words and had to restrain the urge to leap out of concealment and defend his/her girlfriend.

-0-

Seeing the pain on Clover's face, Alex looked away ashamedly and said apologetically, "Sorry, Clover…It just hurt, you know?"

"Alex," Clover stepped up to her friend and laid a hand on Alex's shoulder. "I didn't mean to say being a virgin is a bad thing. It's just, totally unbelievable, you know?"

"You got that right." Sam offered dryly "Cause there's no way in hell a guy can make a girl squirt the first time he dines at the Y."

A rustle from a nearby bush went unnoticed by the trio as Alex blushed a deep crimson and Clover frowned and nodded to Sam. " _That_  we can agree on, and it's the big reason why I think Ranma  _needs_  to know how a real woman should've been treating him instead of getting blue-balled by some crazy, selfish bitch."

-0-

Ranma-chan pulled herself up from her facefault as she realized her new girlfriend was apparently a huge gossip. Briefly questioning whether or not that was worse than a number of more familiar and far more threatening faults, the other redhead and Alex stared at Clover as the former asked, " _What are you talking about, Clover?"_

" _I figured it out last night,"_  the blonde stated confidently. " _When I was showing Ranma my math homework."_

The pigtailed girl's eye twitched, an expression matched by the other redhead less than 10 feet away while the brunette who'd been in a towering temper a moment ago blinked quizzically. " _Your homework?"_

" _Boy plus girl equals 69, Alex."_

While innocent enough to not catch the first reference right off the bat, the girl named Alex understood what  _that_  meant and her cheeks took on a tomato like pallor. Ranma-chan felt a twinge of something at the cute girl's reaction, but trained her ears on her girlfriend as Clover continued.

" _He was terrified that Kodachi girl would find out about us,"_  Ranma-chan took a half-second to wonder how Clover knew Kodachi's real name, until she recalled the numerous pauses and hesitations the night before and cursed herself for not coming up with a better fake name for the psychotic gymnast. " _And the poor guy had_ _ **no**_   _confidence in what he was doing even while he was making me soak my sheets. He told me that he never dated Kodachi, but with all the details he gave me and how he made me squeal, I'll bet the psycho is an ex-girlfriend who made him dive in her briar-patch and said he sucked so she could take advantage of him and not return the favor!"_

Ranma-chan shuddered, unwilling to consider the implication of her and Kodachi doing…what she and Clover had done last night. The sudden image of Kodachi letting out her signature laugh at the moment of release simultaneously sent shards of raw fear lancing through Ranma-chan's body and the urge to giggle wildly. Suppressing the latter, while indulging in another full-body quake over the former, she heard the other redhead opine, " _If you're right, that makes it more likely he was making those stories up."_

Clover narrowed her eyes at her friend and denied the allegation with a curt, " _Sammy,_ _ **no man**_   _is clever enough to make up something like that, and there's no way a guy like Ranma gets that paranoid without having a Grade-A crazy bitch coming after him."_

While running through a brief mental checklist of the women she knew who fit that description, Ranma-chan blinked at the unexpected ping of recognition. (Sammy? Why do I know that name?)

An image leapt to her mind, of Clover lying across her sheets and coated in a light sheen of sweat, grinning lustfully in post-orgasmic bliss. Ranma-changed flushed crimson and felt her nethers grow warm as she remembered Clover's comment about being helped out with ' _dry spells'_.  _(Masaka_! That's who Clover-chan was talking about!?) Giving the redhead a critical look while trying to banish the images of the same girl tonguing Clover to orgasm from her mind, Ranma-chan mused with a frown, (Huh…If she keeps calling me a liar, I don't know if I'll like her  _that_  much…)

-0-

"Clover…"

Samantha's exasperated tone earned her a glare as Clover declared, "You'll see, Sammy! Ranma's not a bad guy, and the moment you realize that," The blonde pumped her fist and assumed a determined pose. "I am putting him through a fuck-a-thon that will go down in  _legend!_ "

The redhead rolled her eyes and groaned in frustration while Alex looked around and prayed nobody she knew would hear her friend talking so openly about sex. Getting over her sudden case of Sailor-Moon-itis, Clover grinned at her friends' and said, "So, until then, let's keep an eye out for any transfer students from Japan coming in on a gymnastics scholarship."

"It would be a little on-the-nose if she did that, Clover." Sam replied dryly. "And I'm not going to stop keeping an eye on Ranma, if for no other reason than to make sure you don't get in over your head!"

Clover looked like she was going to say something, but thought better of it and simply sighed. "Fine, but I promise, Ranma is a sweetheart and wouldn't hurt a fly."

"I hope so, for your sake."

"Please be careful, Clover."

The blonde gave her besties a grateful smile for their concern. "I'll be fine, you two. Oh, speaking of careful!" Clover turned to Alex and gave her a meaningful wink. "You need me to run interference for you tomorrow, like usual?"

Alex's cheeks went from mocha to stoplight in an instant and she whirled around in a panic. "Clover, not so loud!"

"You're being louder than she is, Alex." Sam told the brunette with an understanding and sympathetic grin. "And you shouldn't be embarrassed. Lots of girls do it—"

"Sammy!" Alex covered her burning cheeks with her hands as she moaned, "Please don't say anymore! And besides, I haven't done  _that_  in weeks!"

Clover and Sam shared incredulous looks before the leader of the trio covered her disbelief by offering an impressed, "Really? Weeks?" while Clover made no secret that she wasn't taking the brunette at her word with an eye roll and a shake of her head.

"Well…the last 2 weeks, anyway…"

-0-

Ranma-chan wondered what the hell the three girls could be talking about as Alex covered her face with both hands and moaned in embarrassment while Clover laughed loudly and Sam gave the rosy-cheeked Latina a reassuring one-armed hug. " _Well, it's a start isn't it?"_.

" _Don't worry, Alex."_ Clover threw in as she recovered from her giggles. " _If you need some help, just call us and we'll be there cover for you. You going to the soccer field at school?"_

" _Y-yeah…"_

" _Alright then!"_ Clover chirped happily " _Now, let's get back to shopping! I saw the 'cutest' little nightie at Victoria's Secret."_

As Clover walked away, whistling the same jaunty tune she'd hummed when his/her member had been getting up close and personal with the blonde's vocal chords, Ranma-chan waited until the three girls were out of sight before stepping out of her hiding place. Some people gave her off looks, with several staring for a half-second longer at whatever choice pieces of anatomy caught their eye, but most lost interest as she swept stray bits of twigs and leaves out of her hair. Equal parts uncaring and unmindful of the attention she was receiving, Ranma-chan crossed her arms and thought on what she had heard.

(That Sammy girl is worried about Clover-chan? Because of me? I didn't do anything to her! Why would she think that I'd-) the image of Clover's outraged expression last night and her disgusted tone while laying out the very incorrect theory flashed across the frowning redhead's mind. (The way Clover acted…has she been with guys who were dangerous, or treated her the way she thinks Kodachi treated me? Is that why Sammy is worried about her?)

Opening her eyes, the boy-girl's finely honed desire to defend the helpless coupled with her new affection for the friendly blonde and she nodded once before saying quietly, "Don't worry, Clover-chan. I show her how wrong she is."

00000

Ranma had been waiting for this moment all day, biding his time and ready to strike out at an obstacle to his new life, determined to see that the future was nothing like his past.

It'd been frustrating, nail-biting, and above all else; completely against his finely-honed Neriman survival instincts. But he had to take the risk…or else he'd lose everything he had.

-0-

The blood pounded in her ears as she ran.

Her sweat-soaked body being chilled by the air while her muscles burned.

Only the near silent taps of rapid footfalls on grass could be heard.

Then came the lunge, a hard strike, and a cry of triumph.

Alex cheered, "YES!" as the soccer ball sailed into the goal, the curve of the ball's flight was almost picturesque as it was framed dead center between the goal posts before hitting the net. Panting happily, the Latina ruffled her soccer shirt a few times and went to get another ball, deciding to try that kick again to make sure she got it right.

The soccer field next to Beverly Hills high school was deserted on Sunday afternoon, much like the school itself, because what escaped convict would willingly return to their jail cell? But there are those who see something of value in a place willingly left behind by so many others, which is why Alexandra Vasquez was happily practicing on campus. Though, that was far from the only reason for her after-school attendance…

(You know, I think today will be fine.) Alex sighed contentedly as she enjoyed the cool breeze across her skin. (I mean, it hasn't  _really_  been two weeks since last time, but 5 days isn't that much less, so why shouldn't I  _indulge_ a little?)

Dropping the ball she'd been carrying onto the ground, the brunette smiled in a rather feral way as she backed up and got ready to brutalize the innocent piece of sporting equipment as she reassured herself. (I mean, it's not like there's anyone around to see me, is there?)

"Hello!"

Alex stopped sharply, eyes wide at the sudden voice from behind her. She slowly turned on her heel and found the source of the voice; a Japanese girl with bright red hair and wearing loose, chinese-styled outfit standing behind her and smiling brightly. Alex had only a moment to recognize this as one of the Nerima Wrecking Crew she was supposed to be keeping away from Ranma Saotome when the redhead chirped in a friendly tone, "Whatcha doing?"

Taking everything into consideration, with her previous reassurances of privacy being dashed and by no less than a possibly dangerous supervillain, Alex's brain summarized the current situation in two simple words.

(Oh… _fuck…_ )

-0-

Ranma-chan felt like cackling maniacally, though she simply allowed himself a small half-smile while the girl she'd spied on yesterday blinked quizzically at him/her.

(God, I'm so smart sometimes, I scare myself!) the redhead's internal ego-stroking completely distracted her from the slight twitch and very brief flash of white across the dark-skinned girl's face. (Introducing 'Rachel Sato' to that Sammy chick wouldn't get me anywhere, but this Alex should be fine with having 'girl-talk' with 'Ron's'  _kawaii_  sister! All I gotta do is get her on my side and that redhead will stop bad-mouthing me!)

"Ah…hi?"

Alex's hesitant greeting brought Ranma-chan brought out of her ego trip to see that the sporty girl looked uncomfortable as she replied hesitantly, "I'm…playing soccer?"

A familiar pang came to Ranma, simultaneously warming her chest and making her heart clench painfully as she regarded the cute Latina. Brushing the feeling away quickly, she giggled, "I can see you're playing soccer! I was just curious why you were out here on a Sunday?"

Alex broke out into a cold sweat and had to fight back the urge to panic at the redhead's question. Blushing bright crimson, she prayed that this girl hadn't asked her one of those questions where you already knew the answer and carefully answered, "I…like to play… _by_  myself sometimes and it's quiet here?"

To anyone else, the ' _Why the fuck you lyin'?'_  signal would be visible from space, but Ranma-chan saw the obvious embarrassment on the Latina's face and offered a cheerful, "Hey, don't worry, I won't tell anyone what you're doin' out here!"

(Shit! She  _does_ know!) Alex stared wide-eyed at the dangerous criminal who'd confronted her, and wondered what the diabolical fiend could be planning as she asked, "Y-you won't?"

"Course not! It's a little weird—"

The Latina flinched.

"-but there's nothin' wrong with it!"

Alex looked at the chipper girl and felt a spark of hope as she said hesitantly, "You…you think so?"

"Sure! Back home, I had this nice spot right on the roof of my house—"

Alex's jaw dropped and she blurted, "The  **roof**!?" her mind twisting down several rarely tread passageways that made her cheeks burn brighter.

"Yeah." Ranma-chan eye'd Alex curiously, wondering where the new wave of embarrassment had come from. "Why's that surprisin'?"

"But…aren't you afraid of…" Alex pressed the tips of her fingers together and squeaked "you know…being seen?"

"Ugh, you have  _no_  idea!" Ranma-chan rolled her eyes, genuine frustration coming through as she declared "But back home things were a  _lot_  different than they are here! Otherwise I'd have had a million places I could go to when I needed some  _me_  time!"

"I…I uh…" Alex wrestled with the idea of asking what was apparently a pro for some tips on secret places to relieve stress, when the redhead's strange phrasing caught her attention and she repeated curiously, "Some  _me_  time?"

"Yeah…" Ranma-chan sighed wistfully. "Not like here, where I can get some peace and quiet anywhere I feel like-Hey!" the redhead looked startled as Alex suddenly collapsed "What happened? Did you trip?"

"S-something like that…" Alex murmured as she picked herself up from her facefault, the red in her cheeks fading slowly as she realized that the possible villainess had been talking about something  _far_  different than Alex had assumed. Straightening out her shirt (and trying not to think about what she'd accidentally been discussing with a perfect stranger and possibly a bad guy…girl), Alex returned her attention to the worried redhead and asked, "But…who are you?"

"Oh!" Ranma-chan shook herself out of her accidental distraction and slipped her acting shoes back on as she smiled and reached out to take Alex's hand. "My name's Rachel Sato! Nice to meet'cha!"

"Ah, nice to meet you too?" Alex replied hesitantly as she returned the girl's enthusiastic handshake. Then the name sunk in and Alex blinked as she said, "Wait, Sato?" While focusing more attention on the redhead. (Why would she pick the same fake name as Ranma!? Does she know him?)

"Yeah?" Ranma cocked her head curiously. "What, there something wrong with my name?"

"No no, there's nothing wrong!" Alex chuckled nervously and scratched the back of her head, praying she hadn't irritated someone responsible for millions of dollars (or yen) in property damage as she replied, "I just think I've heard the name before, so I was kinda confused!"

"Oh, you must be thinking about my brother!"

Alex stopped and blinked for a moment. "What?"

"My brother, Ron." Ranko replied chipperly with a wide smile. "He goes to this school, while I go to a different one nearby. Are you in a class with him?"

"Uh…yeah." Alex affirmed hesitantly while taking a harder look at the redhead and noticing she shared a couple of physical features with Ranma. As she wondered why would Britney say they were  _like_  brother and sister and not that Ranma and this girl were related, she offered, "Actually, Ron is dating a friend of mine."

"I know, Ron's done nothing but gush about his date since yesterday." Ranma-chan rolled her eyes, and not noticing the crimson hue or the twitch in Alex's eye at the word  _gush_. "It's gotten so annoying, I  _had_  to get away from him for awhile."

Being rather familiar with wanting to put some distance between lovestruck friends, Alex giggled agreeably, "I know how you feel, Clover's been the same way."

Ranma-chan blinked, feeling her cheeks redden at the girl's adorable laugh and thought, ( _Damn_ , why is she so cute? And she's athletic too-) Another shake of her head banished those thoughts and the redhead chastised herself. (Come on, Saotome, remember why you're here! You're with Clover and you had enough problems dealing with a harem you never wanted! Remember the plan and stick to it!)

"That's good to hear." Ranma-chan gave an overly theatrical relieved sigh. "I was kinda worried that  _Nii-chan_ 's new girlfriend might cause him a bit of trouble."

Alex started at that and narrowed her eyes, feeling her heat rise in a completely different way than when she was practicing as she asked, "What's  _that_  supposed to mean?"

A wave of ice rolled down Ranma-chan's spine, catching the unmistakable tone of an angry female and waved her hands placatingly while attempting damage control. "Ah-I mean, I'm not saying she's  _bad_  for him or anything! It's just the things Ron told me she said about having a few boyfriends—"

"And what's wrong with having a  _few_  boyfriends?" Alex shot back, well aware of her hypocrisy for having insulted Clover similarly yesterday, but there's a big difference between a spat between friends and some stranger coming along and bad-mouthing a bestie.

(Crap, I thought that would work!) Ranma-chan gave a panicked gulp and went into tongue-wagging free-fire mode. "I didn't mean it like that! It's just that she's Ranma's first real girlfriend and she's so much more experienced—"

Alex's eye twitched.

"—and she's got that nickname—"

A low growl escaped the Latina's lips.

"—so I want to make sure he's not in danger!"

While Alex was ready to tear into the redhead, since her blood pressure was already spiking from her workout, she managed to rein back the impulse to vehemently decry Rachel's words and instead asked, "What do you mean, ' _danger'_?" in a low voice while she thought darkly, (If I hear the words V.D. I'm going to jam my foot  _so_  far up her-)

"You know, from Clover's boyfriends!"

Alex blinked, her temperature lowering slightly as that registered. "Boyfriends?"

"Y-yeah." Ranma-chan visibly relaxed as the dark-skinned girl backed off from a temper tantrum that brought an unwelcome sense of familiarity to the Neriman refugee. "If…she's had a few boyfriends, then there might be some who…aren't very nice, you know? I don't want Ron being hurt by some jealous jerk, you know?"

(That's…actually legit) Alex thought to herself, recalling the secondhand account of ' _Ron's'_  supposed experiences with jealous love interests. Pulling away from her outrage with a little difficulty, Alex straightened up and said "Well, I can tell you that Clover's rep isn't as  _bad_  as it seems. And she doesn't date anyone who won't take no for an answer."

(Wow, what is food like on this planet?) Ranma-chan thought with a not insignificant amount of bitter envy. (But if that's true, then why was that Sammy girl so worried about Ro-I mean, me?)

"Are you sure?" Ranma-chan bit her lip nervously for dramatic effect as she pleaded, "I'm  _really_  worried about him, you know?"

" _Positive."_  Alex said with a note of finality, though a part of her had to admit there might be one or two troublemakers, but would have to double-check with Clover first. All that should have been a moot point though, as she pointed out, "But isn't your brother a martial artist? Can't he defend himself?"

" _Anata wa odoroka reru koto to omoimasu…"_

Alex's ears quirked up as Rachel muttered under her breath, her interest piqued by redhead's sarcastic comment. "What would surprise me?"

Ranma-chan jerked and stared at the Latina. "What'd you say?"

"You just said 'you'd be surprised'." Alex explained, crossing her arms and eyeing the redhead suspiciously. "What would surprise me? Can Ron defend himself or not?"

Ranma-chan's jaw dropped, only to internally thunk herself as she realized her slip up. (Dammit! Clover-chan  _said_  one of her friends spoke Japanese!  _Chikusho,_  I need to think of something before she stops trusting me…)

"He can." the redhead said hesitantly. "It's just…things are different here, you know? He doesn't want to cause any trouble."

"Little late for that." Alex remarked with a small grin. "Cause after calling Mandy fish-lips, he's gonna be in plenty of trouble, just not from a jealous ex-boyfriend."

"Ah, he can handle her." Ranma-chan waved dismissively. "Just as long as she doesn't start wearing a leotard everywhere and laughing like a lunatic."

Alex snorted and giggled again, and Ranma-chan soon joined in, the two girls laughter echoing a little as their shared disdain for deluded snobs. Soon enough, their merriment died down and the two smiled at one another, each feeling something akin to kindred spirits before Alex looked back at the ball and was reminded of her reason for being here. With a slight blush and an apologetic grimace, she said, "It was nice meeting you Rachel, but, ahh…"

"Oh." Ranma-chan followed the girl's gaze, feeling more disappointed than she expected as she replied, "Oh, yeah…I'll…let you get back to practicing…"

The forlorn tone in the redhead's voice struck something in Alex, and despite the insistent prodding to take care of business sooner rather than later, she turned back to Rachel and said, "Actually, do you want to play too?"

Ranma-chan's eyes widened in surprise, and a slow smile grew on her face. "Really? You don't mind?"

"Sure." Alex smiled widely, thinking that delayed gratification would be worth making nice with someone who seemed like an honestly good person. "We're friends now, right? So why not?"

Ranma-chan's grin halted and she stared at Alex uncomprehendingly as she repeated, "Friends?" In a soft voice.

Surprised and a little uncomfortable from the sudden attention, Alex scratched the back of her head nervously and said "Umm, yeah? I mean, if you want to be…"

While Alex was wondering if she'd sprouted a second head when no one was looking, Ranma's brain was making connections at a pace he never had before, outside of martial arts. The cute mannerisms, short hair, athleticism and slight temper coupled with her question to bring a wave of memories from the depths of Ranma's mind.

"… _do you wanna be friends?"_

"… _who'd want to marry a pervert like you?!"_

" _I didn't ask for your help!"_

" _You're such a jerk!"_

" _Idiot! Jerk! Pervert!"_

" _I hate you!"_

(She's like…Akane…) Ranma-chan blinked as the wires aligned and she found herself regarding the Latina in a different way. (She's not a martial artist and she gave me a chance to explain myself, but she's a lot like Akane…before everything went to hell…) The memories of the nearly long forgotten good moments early on in he and Akane's relationship were washed away by the far more recent and consistent arguments, assumptions and violence. Looking at Alex, Ranma felt a surge of something that made her throat tight and her vision blur as she quickly took a detour off of memory lane and back into the real world.

Alex was starting to feel worried at the unexpected staring contest and wondered if the redhead was having some kind of fit when a glimmer in Rachel's eyes caught her attention. The pigtailed girl winced and wiped her eyes on her sleeve, too late for the super-spy not to notice that her companion had almost started crying as Rachel choked out, "I…I'd like that…" Turning back, Alex's heart ached in sympathy as the redhead gave her a soft, hopeful smile and said, "I'd like to be your friend…Alex."

(Oh…I didn't even think about that…) Alex thought to herself, thinking on her knowledge of Japan and familial martial arts schools. (Ranma was dragged all over hell and back by his father for training, and it only makes sense that Rachel got dragged along too. She probably never had the chance to make a friend before now…poor girl.)

"I'd like that too, Rachel." Alex returned the redheads warm smile, then thumbed over her shoulder and chirped, "Shall we?"

Ranma-chan immediately hit the Latina point-blank with a million-watt smile as she replied, "Let's!" and walked towards the piece of sporting equipment whose stay of execution had just been revoked.

As the two got ready to play, spy and target shared the same thought, promising to themselves this new friendship would be cherished and protected, no matter what.

00000

Dominique grimaced in disgust, grumbling to herself as she made her way to Beverly Hills High School with a camcorder in hand, mood fouled for the same reason she was walking towards the hated institution and the subject of her mutterings.

"Stupid Mandy, ordering me out here on a Sunday…who does she think she is?" The girl with short cut, dark hair grumbled as the main building came in sight, recalling how bitchy her  _friend_ had been when she'd called yesterday, telling her to track down the usual target of her wrath, Alex. Apparently the girl had been seen on campus every now and then after school, and Mandy was sure the goodie-goodie was up to no good and wanted evidence.

Normally, Dominique would've blown off the attempt to dig up some dirt on the sickening sweetheart/bane of Mandy's existence, but the teen queen had been all but howling for heads to roll yesterday, saying she wanted to get back at 'Fingercuffs' for getting her banned from one of her favorite restaurants. That alone made Dominique more enthused at the idea of ditching the job, but when she'd gotten a phone call an hour ago and had to endure Mandy's nasally screech of why she wasn't going out to spy on Alex, Dominique decided to indulge the spoiled brat and save her eardrums some misery.

When a flash of movement caught her eye, Dominique turned and smiled as she caught sight of her quarry, running across a soccer field with a redheaded girl. Making her way slowly towards a surefire hiding spot, the sneaky girl couldn't help but whistle approvingly as the stranger popped the ball into the air, and performed some kind of twisting gymnastic backflip kick that fired the soccer ball more than half-way across the field and into the goal.

(Damn, that's impressive.) she thought while listening to Alex's amazed shouting and the girls proud laughter. As she made her way to her hidey-hole, Dominique smirked meanly. (I wonder…does this mean Alex is a rug-muncher? Well, even if it's not that, there's probably something going on here…)

-0-

Ranma-chan leaned back against the bleachers, breathing heavily while Alex sat on the row behind her, bent over with a wet towel on the back of her neck. The redhead wasn't nearly to her limit, having played a friendly game of soccer rather than engaged in a life or death struggle, while the brunette was wondering if her new friend was really human. "Wow…you're really good…"

"Hehheh, thanks." Ranma-chan replied happily to Alex's amazed, breathless compliment. "You're good too."

"I can't believe some of the tricks you pulled off out there." Alex panted jealously. "Is that from your training?"

"My what?"

"You know, training with your dad and brother?"

Ranma-chan's eyes popped and she turned to stare at Alex. "H-how did you know?!"

"I figured it out." Alex smiled at her friend as she got her racing heart back under control and tried to ignore the fact that the 'subtle prodding' for her to take care of business was flagrantly pushing her to get away from the redhead as soon as possible. "Ron said he spent most of his life living off the land with his dad, learning martial arts, so I figured you were brought along with. Plus, you weren't kicking like a soccer player."

"Oh…"

Ranma-chan's blush made Alex laugh lightly. "Hey, it's alright! With moves like yours, any team would love to have you!" Smiling to herself, Alex added thoughtfully, "I'm almost tempted to look up your dad and ask if I can learn from him—"

Rachel's face immediately paled and she shouted, " _NO!"_  catching Alex by surprise as she scrambled next to the Latina and grabbed her hands before begging with fearful eyes, "Please Alex,  _never_  go looking for my dad! I'll teach you anything you want, just don't go to my pops!"

-0-

(Jackpot.) Dominique smiled smugly, having waited under the very same bleachers Alex and Rachel were sitting on and cheering her intelligence for picking the precise spot the two girls were resting on after their practice. Now, listening to her primary target gasp, " _Rachel?! What's wrong!?"_  their unseen observer double-checked the battery on her camcorder and made sure it was recording before settling in to grab some juicy material.

" _Alex, I'm begging you as a friend, don't go looking for my old man! Me and Ron came here to get away from him and all the crap he's piled on us since the day I-_ _ **we**_   _were born! If he found out where I am, we'd have to leave!"_

The panic and naked fear in the redhead's voice brought a wicked smile to Dominique's lips as Alex said in a quiet, shocked voice, " _Rachel…what happened to you?"_  Then Alex's tone changed to something darker and angrier. " _Wait, was your brother telling the truth about those_ _ **sadistic**_   _training methods your dad put you two through!? Like,_ 'throwing beehives at you to make you better at dodging ranged attacks'  _thing!?"_

Dominique's jaw dropped and she had only a moment to wonder if she'd heard correctly when the redhead proclaimed, " _Alex, that was_ tame  _compared to dad's real training! Ron didn't tell Clover about the really bad stuff cause it'd be too unbelievable! But that's not why you can't tell pops where I am!"_

" _If that's not enough reason to keep him away from you, then what is!?"_

Mandy's lackey mirrored the Latina's question in her mind, simultaneously drooling and horrified in anticipation of the answer.

Only to almost drop her camera as she facefaulted from the redhead's panicked response, " _Because he's a lazy, cowardly, selfish,_ idiot!"

-0-

Alex picked herself up and looked up into Rachel's worried expression, trying not to look as annoyed as she felt while asking, "Rachel, I think your priorities are a little skewed…"

"They're not!" The redhead shook her head vehemently, then turned to look over each shoulder before swallowing and asking nervously, "Alex, if I tell you a secret, will you swear on our friendship that you will  _never_  tell a soul?"

Eyes widening, Alex sat up as she remembered that her companion for the last hour was the sibling of a supposed ne'er do well, and more importantly how her job was to find out as much as possible about the leader of a possible terrorist group. Without any hesitation, Alex nodded. "Absolutely!"

"Even Clover?!"

Alex frowned, struggling to come up with a reason to wiggle around that stipulation without outright lying to the redhead's face. Thankfully, a solution wasn't too difficult to figure out as she said, "Rachel, if Clover's dating your brother, she needs to know this too. Is Ron going to tell her at some point?"

Ranma-chan was taken aback by this, not even considering the effects of Clover looking up more on her new beau and inadvertently bringing the 4 fiancé's of the apocalypse down on their heads. With a pained grimace, she nodded and answered hesitantly, "Then…you can tell her. But no one else! Promise me!"

"I promise!" Alex agreed again, then leaned forward and asked eagerly, "What is it?"

-0-

It was a moment before the redhead responded hesitantly, with a soft " _My name isn't Rachel…"_

Dominique triple-checked her battery, too excited and unwilling to risk losing out on such an opportunity while Alex said quizzically, " _It's not?"_

" _No…my name is Ranko, and my brothers name is Ranma. He told Clover it was a nickname on their date Friday before that_ kappa-onna  _Mandy threw her spaghetti on him."_

Dominique's eye twitched, recalling the ranting of her spoiled friend and how she'd been thrown out the restaurant for ' _no damn reason'_  while Alex replied jovially, " _Alright then, nice to meet you, Ranko."_

A dry chuckle came to the redhead. " _Nice to meet you too, Alex. The thing is, pops is the laziest, good-for-nothing, self-centered moron you'll ever meet, and me and Ranma couldn't take being forced to do what he said anymore…so we came here…"_

Silence followed for a moment, before Alex quietly whispered " _Ranko…are you and Ranma_ ronin _!?"_  and Dominique cocked her eyebrow quizzically at the unfamiliar term.

" _I don't know. We might be, depending on whether he's figured out we aren't coming back, but being disowned is better than staying in the mess he made of our life and being associated with our 'family school'."_  Dominique could almost taste the disgust in the redhead's voice " _Pop's always told us to be responsible and bring honor to the school, but it's a little hard to do that when it was founded by him, and all the secret techniques he created are based on dirty tactics, running away and sucker-punches!"_

The snobby spy blinked several times at that, her own limited understanding of whatever a 'secret technique' was making her think, (that…doesn't sound right) while Alex gasped, " _You're kidding me!"_

-0-

"I can't make up something like this." Ranma-chan unwittingly called back to her girlfriend's statement on the legitimacy of Ranma's stories about Kodachi. Her mouth twisted in a grimace like she tasted something bitter, the redhead spat, "One technique is called 'Grasping Hawks Talons', and it goes like this." Alex blushed brightly as the girl reached up and grabbed her own ample bosom, giving her breasts a squeeze for emphasis. "Cause if you get into a fight with a girl and grab her tits, she'll freeze up and it'll give you time to figure out your next move."

"Th…that's…"

Ranma-chan nodded as the hispanic girl's face purpled in outrage "Yeah, at least that one doesn't involve pointing over an enemy's shoulder and saying ' _What's that?'_  then smacking them when they turn around. Or getting on hands and knees and groveling for mercy."

"How the heck could he think that's martial arts!?" Alex yelled, completely flabbergasted by the most immature and pathetic fighting style she'd ever heard of. "Any kid on a playground would think of something like that, and only another kid would fall for it!"

"Which is why pop's put it in, cause real martial artists won't expect a grown man to pull something so childish in a real fight." the redhead rolled her eyes "Well, that  _and_  he's a lazy idiot who went with what he knows, rather than do the work in coming up with something unique and original, even though he's good enough that he actually could do that if he tried!" Ranko muttered disgustedly "But no. His whole purpose is to train Ranma and me to be the best martial artists ever, so he can retire and sponge off of us for the rest of his life."

"And how does he expect you to do that?" Alex asked incredulously "If you try those moves in a tournament, you'll be disqualified immediately."

"He doesn't want us to compete in tournaments. He wants us to get  _married_."

-0-

Dominique turned faintly green, her stomach churning down some decidedly nasty passageways when Alex's question of, " _M-married!? To who?!"_  brought the teen queen up short and she fought the urge to groan at her assumption that any parent, no matter how stupid, would try to make his children wed each other.

The redhead hesitated for a few moments, making the unseen snitch narrow her eyes and stare at where she could see the two unknowing subjects of the film she was shooting through the thin slats of the seats. When Ranko spoke again, it was in a soft, sad voice. " _Pops trained under a 'master martial artist',"_  The camcorder caught a flicker of movement from the redhead making fingerquotes. " _With a guy who had three daughters. They were friends and they made a deal one day, that Ranma would marry one of the girls and 'unite their schools'."_

-0-

"Ranma's engaged?!"

Ranma-chan caught the appall in Alex's voice and her eyes narrowed. "Hey, it's not like that, okay?! Pops didn't tell me- _us_  about it until a year ago, minutes before we even met his  _old buddy_  Soun and his family!"

Alex blanched. "A  _year_  ago?! That just makes it worse!"

"How does that make it worse?!" Ranma-chan asked defensively, "He and Akane never  _met_  until then and  _never_  agreed to the engagement! Where do you get off?!"

Alex blinked at the sudden vehemence in the redhead and swore she could feel a warm wind blow up from somewhere nearby. Getting the sense that they were having two separate conversations, Alex brushed aside her sudden urge to snap back at the girl and asked, "Ranko, what are you talking about?"

Ranma-chan blinked quizzically at the question and Alex's confused expression "Uh…weren't you listening? I was talking about Ranma's engagement—"

Alex bit back a retort at the accidental dig on her attention span. "Yeah, and I think it's awful that your dad put Ranma in an arranged marriage when he's still in highschool. What did you think I was talking about?"

Ranma-chan blinked, blushed, and lowered her head. Pressing the tips of her fingers together, she murmured, "I thought…you were gonna call Ranma a womanizer…for being with Clover when he has a fiancé…"

Understanding clicked and Alex pursed her lips disapprovingly "Ranko, you shouldn't assume something and blow up like that. I mean, unless he's still engaged to her—"

The redhead flinched visibly, bringing Alex up short and making her stare at the bustier girl with wide-eyes. "Ranko…"

"It doesn't matter." Ranka-chan said quietly as memories of Akane, both good and bad, stripped away a few layers of emotional control "She hates him, and if the engagement hasn't been broken off by now, it's only because pops and her dad are being stubborn; just like they did when they pushed her and Ranma to get married and ' _Give them an heir'_  as soon as possible.

"Give them an heir?" Alex blinked a few times at that, though it didn't take long for her to make the connection and she blurted "Th-they wanted Ranma to get her pregnant!?"

-0-

" _Yeah. Or at least, pops did. Her dad wanted them married first…maybe, but pops wouldn't have cared which happened first, because then he could force Ranma into 'making an honest woman out of her' because honor demanded it."_

Dominique felt a brief but potent flash of gratitude for living in America, where arranged marriages weren't a thing, and an even stronger desire to call up her father and say 'thank you for not having some guy make me the newest star of 16 and pregnant'. Listening to the redheads story, the rich girl felt a brief twinge of sympathy, but it was soon buried under the relief that  **she** hadn't had to go through such an experience while Alex said incredulously, " _Honor demanded it? I don't think a guy who makes a martial art based on cheap shots has any room to talk about honor."_

" _Well, he did talk about it, all the time."_  Ranko muttered angrily " _Except it was always how Ranma needed to 'take responsibility' for something that was the old man's fault in the first place, like when the other fiancé's started showing up."_

" _ **Other**_   _fiancé's!?"_

" _Yeah, cause when we were too little to remember, pops would end up starving out in the wilderness until he stumbled across some guy who was also raising his child to be a martial artist, except this guy would be smart enough to pack a decent amount of supplies instead of being cheap and relying on his 'awesome survival skills' to live off the land."_  A dry, humorless chuckle echoed through the metal slats of the bleachers. " _Stupid panda would trade the only thing he had with him that was worth anything; Ranma's hand in marriage, and the dowry would be whatever food the guy could spare."_

Silence met that statement, and Dominique shared Alex's utterly mindblown mental state as the Latina whispered, " _He_ _ **sold**_   _your brother…for food?"_

" _Yeah. For all of 5 minutes, cause when he was done eating the dowry, pops grabbed me and-_ _ **US**_   _and ran like hell."_

The sound of the snooping elitist's fall was covered up by the sound of Alex hitting the bleachers with a clang and shouting, " _He did WHAT?!"_

-0-

"Yeah." Ranma-chan nodded as her friend picked herself up from her facefault. "And you'd think that would've negated pops promise to his buddy, except he said he never intended to fulfill those contracts and they were ' _necessary to survive'_." The redhead grumbled, "Stupid old man…only reason he wanted to keep the promise with Soun is 'cause the reward was more than ' _some fried fish, a bowl of rice and two pickles'_."

Shaking her head as she sat up, Alex thought, (I don't want to know…but I have to see how deep the rabbit hole goes.) before looking at Ranko and asking, "What was the dowry with that engagement?"

"It wasn't a dowry, it was the dojo. If Ranma and Akane got married, he'd inherit her family's dojo." Ranma-chan scowled as she remembered all the times pops had pushed her/him to 'protect the dojo', when the fat bastard couldn't be asked to fight for his nest egg. "Once Ranma became a teacher with some students, the lazy panda could retire and spend the rest of his life sponging off of us."

"Now I understand why you left…" Alex murmured understandingly. While the brunette thought there was a chance the girl who was suspected of being some kind of terrorist was making it all up, the disgust, resignation, frustration, and above all else; the  _fear_  when she thought Alex was going to go looking for her father was all real. Now firmly in Clover's camp regarding the semi-famous villains' undeserved reputation, Alex nodded and said determinedly, "Ranko, I promise, I won't go looking for your father, or do  _anything_  that could lead him here."

Seeing the Hispanic girls sincerity, Ranma-chan choked up a little and smiled gratefully. " _A-arigatou,_ Alex." before quickly wiping away a tear. "I'm glad I told you."

"Hey," Alex reached out and gave her friend's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "What are friends for?"

Ranma-chan twitched at that, and stared at the Latina for a moment before she lowered her head and started sniffling. Alex watched the redhead's shoulders shake with concern and a little pity when she heard a soft whisper of, "A-Akane said that…"

"What?"

"Akane…that's my-Ranma's fiancé…when we first met, she asked if we could be friends…but then…she walked in on me-Ranma while he was taking a bath, and they saw each other naked…" The redhead raised her head again, and Alex's heart ached in sympathy for the poor girl with tears streaming down her cheeks as she croaked, "She called him a pervert, and all we ever did after that was fight, cause we wanted the two idiots to back off and realize pushing me and- _her and Ranma_  together was a stupid idea. But they never did, and…"

Ranko shook her head, her eyes screwed shut as she started to bawl, "I-I thought she might've been so  _mean_  for the same reason I was! That she just wanted a chance to know me without those  _bastards_  pushing us! But there's only so long you can hear someone scream ' _I hate you'_  until you realize they really mean ii-hii-hii-hiiit!"

Alex's reaction was immediate as she swept the sobbing redhead into a tight hug, ignoring her internal clock saying she'd wasted enough time as she comforted her friend.

-0-

Dominique scrambled for a good angle to capture what could be, with the sound off, construed as an intimate moment between two girls. While a part of her felt like she should feel bad for taking a moment of consolation and turning it into a reputation-destroying piece of footage, her main thought was, (As long as I come back with something, Mandy will get off my ass). The one bit that did make her seriously consider turning the camera off and telling Mandy that there was nothing going on was the thought of the redheaded runaway and her studly brother being forced to go back home and marry an unholy shrew. (I'll tell Mandy it might not be the best idea to put the video on online…but if she does,  _c'est la vie.)_

" _Arigatou, Alex-chan."_ Ranko sniffled as she finished crying.

The brunette returned the girls moonspeak with a soft, "Iie iie _. Do you feel better now?"_

" _Much,"_ Dominique, having found a good angle to catch both girls faces, watched as they broke apart and Ranko smiled happily at the Latina. " _I hope we can be really good friends."_

" _I think we will."_  Alex's sappy affirmation made the snoop resist the urge to retch as she added, " _I'll see you later than, okay? I gotta clean up here."_

" _Alright then."_ Ranko replied as she stepped down to the ground, only pausing to give the brunette a worried look. " _Do…you think Clover will understand?"_

Dominique snorted and thought to herself, (Sheesh, you'd almost think  _she_  was dating fingercuffs instead of her brother.) While Alex replied, " _Ranko, trust me, Clover is crazy about Ranma and she'll keep everything a secret."_

" _Alright then._ Ja ne _!"_

And with that last happy call, the redhead ran out of sight. Just when Dominique was about to turn the camera off, she heard Alex mutter, " _Finally."_  to herself, which caught the self-centered snob's attention. A brief glance confirmed that the brunette was sighing with relief struck Dominique as odd, though her eyes bugged as the Latina mused aloud, " _How am I gonna tell Sammy about this?"_  and Mandy's lackey sneered wickedly to see that miss 'goodie-two-shoes' was already planning to gossip about the new transfer student and her brother to someone who was  _not_  on the need-to-know list.

Then came the cherry on top as Alex closed her eyes and gave an almost indecent moan of, " _Oh, I'll figure it out later…I gotta go hit the showers!"_  Before standing up and walking towards school.

Dominique followed behind, wondering why her target was heading for school when it was closed on Sunday's, as Alex approached the outside door to the girls lockerroom. Ducking back for a moment when the brunette looked around, Dominique noticed the door was propped open. This brought the ding of a cash register to her mind as Alex stepped inside, leaving the little stone she'd been using for a doorstop in place while Dominique thought (jackpot!) as she followed behind.

00000

Ranma sighed with relief as the hot water streamed through his unbound hair, the feeling of the dried sweat and dirt from his workout with Alex being washed away was almost sinful as he enjoyed the shower.

He hadn't expected his encounter with Alex to go the way it had, and felt a little embarrassed for crying like he did, but he was in girl form at the time so it's not like it was  _him_  crying, because real men don't cry.

That thought gave him pause as he recalled the crux of his conversation with Alex, and how his old man's teachings had emphasized the Art and manliness above all else to the detriment of anything that didn't involve beating the crap out of someone. More to the point, how Ranma's manliness was for no other reason than to save the stupid panda's fat ass, and all of it was to bring honor to the Anything Goes School of martial arts.

(Funny thing, that.) the currently-not pigtailed boy mused darkly, (When  _I'm_ the one to bring the school honor, he didn't have any problem making sure there was a  _lot_  of honor that I had to make up for…kinda like making a pig of yourself when someone else is footing the bill.)

Shaking his head, Ranma ducked back under the shower head and sighed contentedly. (Ah well, not like he can do anything about it here. My lucks never been better since I came to Beverly Hills.) With a wide smile, he added, (Hell, some dumb janitor even left the door propped open to the boys locker room so I didn't have to run all the way home in sweaty clothes! Things are definitely looking up!)

-0-

Alex approached the locker room showers, shivering as she padded barefoot to the stalls. While slightly chilled from being naked save for a towel slung over her shoulders, the heat within her more than made up for the dip in external temperature and Alex moaned softly in expectation of what was to come, her nipples hardening and her womanhood warming as she neared her ultimate goal.

It had been a hell of a thing, puberty. While full of the normal trials and issues young women dealt with, Alex had gone through the change to adulthood with an unusually great enjoyment for sports and physical activity. While not so strange, the depth of the girls love for athleticism extended much deeper than most people realized, as a switch had been flipped in Alex's brain sometime after she'd realized that one of the 3 holes between her legs could be used for more than just pushing out baby's.

Not to put too fine a point on it; to Alexandra Vasquez, exercise was a huge turn-on.

She'd gone over the reasoning many times, wondering why the pounding heart, straining muscles and heavy breathing that came from athletic activity made her so damn horny that there were days she couldn't make it home in time to flick her bean in privacy. The idea of being caught while secretly diddling herself in the locker room showers or the girls bathrooms around school terrified her  _much_ more than it could have aroused her, but even the fear of being caught couldn't stop her once the urges hit. It hadn't even stopped her when she finally was discovered one day, and by Clover no less, who was understandably surprised to see the 'sweet and naive' Alex pumping two fingers in and out of her sex while moaning wantonly.

It'd been embarrassing to explain why she'd been doing what she had, but Clover had been very understanding and even solidified her position as someone Alex could trust with her life when she'd come up with a solution to her problem. With a little help from Samantha to  _borrow_  some spy equipment, (W.O.O.H.P. command only trusting the redhead to use any sort of sensitive tech when not on mission) a copy of Beverly Hills High School's master key was made, and Alex had free-run to wander onto campus at all hours of the day or night and engage in judgement free self-love whenever she needed.

Of course, Clover and Sam helped out in other ways too, such as providing alibis for their friend when she needed private time after long soccer matches or track meets. But it was nice to know she could  _really_  let loose with no one around sometimes.

No sooner had that thought entered her mind than Alex heard the sound of running water, and realized she wasn't actually alone in school. The very brief flash of fear was insignificant compared to the outraged of denied lustful release as Alex snarled, (Are you kidding me!? No one's supposed to be here! I spent all that extra time talking to Ranko, and now I have to wait-)

The thought of Ranma's sister gave the Latina pause, and she wondered if the girl in question was her unknown locker room companion. Going over the massive amount of trust the redhead had put into her, Alex took a breath to steady herself and thought, (if it comes down to it, I'll trust her with my secret and ask her to give me some ' _me time'_  for a while.) as she approached the in-use stall.

-0-

Dominique giggled wickedly, savoring the opportunity to see what miss sweet and innocent was  _really_  doing after school while keeping the camera focused on Alex's back and ass, and jealously considering how much more toned the hispanic girls backside was when compared to her own.

It'd felt a little weird, and she'd almost been caught a few times while trailing the athlete, but it was proving to be a rather bountiful harvest of blackmail material when Alex had stripped down and Dominique's little electronic eye recorded that the brown-skinned girl had been playing the whole time sans underwear. While by itself rather risqué, the Alex's indecent sigh of relief when she was finally naked and the slight rub of her fingers against her groin sent shivers of a decidedly darker and less than lustful delight through the observer, thinking about how easy it would be to take that soundbite and apply it to the earlier embrace between Alex and Rachel/Ranko.

Then they entered the showers proper, with Dominique halting a ways away from Alex who'd stopped suddenly. As though registering the presence of someone else for the first time, the zoom and sensitive microphone caught part of Alex's expression, which had twisted into a semi-feral snarl and a quiet curse of, " _God fucking damnit, really!?"_  The spy grinned at that, hearing that the too-nice girl had a sewer mouth would come in  _very_  handy, along with everything else she was recording. After a few deep breaths, Alex calmed down, though was clearly upset as she moved onward.

Now, following behind her target, Dominique bit back a curse as Alex stopped again and prepared to jump to the side, fearing she'd been found out. When Alex didn't turn around however, the snob's curiosity gnawed at her and she maneuvered into a new position so she could see who the 3rd invitee to the private party was.

When the occupant of the stall came into view, Dominique gave a quiet gasp, flushed beet-red, and kept her camera focused while quickly checking to make sure she had a spare battery and enough memory to record what would be put in a private folder for herself once she got back home. Confirmation that she had everything she needed, the wicked teen drooled as she made sure she got a really good look at 'Ron Sato', who had his back turned to her and Alex and was obliviously washing his hair, with no idea his almost obscenely fit body was being ogled by two  _very_  appreciative ladies.

Making a note of how cut the transfer students biceps were, Dominique wondered for a moment if this was some kind of secret rendezvous, and her main subject had been waiting for the redhead to leave so she could shag her brother in the shower. The thought turned her on more than she cared to admit, and one hand idly squeezed her breast while she kept the camera steady and waited to see what Alex would do next.

-0-

(Clover…you lucky  _bitch_ …) Alex whimpered to herself, watching Ranma Saotome run his fingers through his unbound hair and resisting the urge to take over for him, as her follow-up to combing his dark locks would be to grab something thicker and not letting go until he gave her what she wanted. While Alex was a virgin, and wanted her first time to be with someone who loved her, she was still a woman with desires and needs. Coming off of a soccer game that had gotten her blood pumping more than she'd expected and had left her aching to get off, and now confronted by a very fine slab of beefcake caused a hormonal surge that jumped up and smacked her right between the eyes, and the romantically inclined spy's desire to wait for Mr. Right became a need for Mr Right-Here-Right-Goddamn-Now.

Thoughts of what the maybe-yes probably-no supervillain was doing in the girls locker room were far from her mind, as she was mostly concerned with the fact that Ranma was her new friend's brother and Clover's latest beau. She wasn't sure how long she stood there watching him, searing every piece of anatomy in sight to memory and feeling a slight dampness running down her inner thigh, when he looked over towards a small bar of soap sitting on a nearby bench. The poor design choice of the architect of Beverly Hills High School revealed the girl's presence as he caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of his eye, his head snapping towards her and his jaw dropping as he gaped at her almost nude body. Before Alex could cover herself, or even decide if she wanted to cover herself or not, Ranma reacted with all the grace and dignity one would expect from a master of the martial arts.

-0-

Dominique had to bite her fist to stifle the laughter threatening to burst out of her as 'Ron Sato'/AKA Ranma let out a yelp like startled dog, slipped on the wet floor of the shower and landed on his ass with a hard smack. The boy grunted in pain and hissed as he rubbed his posterior, but all the snob cared about was that the impressive slab of manhood also  _had_  an impressive manhood, and she bit her lip as her nethers grew damp at the sight of the Sato family jewels.

Too busy deciding whether she wanted her protein injection taken orally, vaginally or rectally, the snooping girl was caught off guard when Ranma remembered that he had a witness and looked up to confirm that Alex was still there. Confirmation achieved, he yelled, "Shimatta!" and covered his eyes with both hands. " _Sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't see anything! I swear! I just saw the door was open and I thought I was the only one here!"_

While that pretty much confirmed that this wasn't some kind of on-campus hanky-panky between the secretly exhibitionist sweetheart and her best friend's boytoy, Dominique smiled as Alex flagrantly stared at Ranma's package, with the camera's zoom picking up the Latina's deepening blush and very obvious swallow before saying softly, "Konnichiwa  _Ron Sato…nice to…meet you in person."_

The snobby spy bit back a delighted giggle as Alex actually licked her lips while staring at Sato's meat and two veg, as the man they belonged to returned hesitantly, " _Ano…_ Konnichiwa… _Alex, right?"_

" _That's right. I'm a friend of Clover's and your sister."_  Alex swallowed again, her eyes glazing slightly as she did and Dominique could practically  **see**  the fantasy going through the 'naive' girl's mind of gargling Ranma's man milk. " _And…it's okay, Ron. I left the door open, so it's more my fault than anything else….but you really shouldn't have…come in the girls locker room anyway."_

Resisting the urge to snort at the slight hesitation Alex had put on 'come in', Dominique focused on Ranma and how he'd seemingly frozen solid. Before she could wonder why he wasn't trying to get away or make himself decent, the camera girl facepalmed as the boy whispered, "Girls  _locker room?!"_  in absolute horror.

-0-

"Yes. This is the girl's locker room." Alex's voice came out almost robotic, even to her own ears as she struggled with the urge to scream, ' _SOUPS ON!'_  and inhale Ranma's salami. "Did you really not notice?"

"N-no!" Ranma shook his head, still covering his eyes while not attempting to maintain his own modesty. At this point however, he realized he was flashing his girlfriend's best friend and 'eep'ed in a decidedly unmanly fashion before taking half of his blindfold and using it to cover his shame as he added, "I don't go to gym very often and I didn't check which door was which before coming in!"

Alex flushed a little at his verbage, though a part of her mind pulled itself out of the tar pit of lust long enough to ask why he would skip out on gym class. This question brought more thoughts out of the primal quagmire and a moment of clarity gave Alex enough mental freedom to say, "Okay…I believe you."

"…..y-you do?"

The confusion in his voice would've made Alex laugh, were it not for the information she'd been given earlier on his past and she repeated, "I do. I talked to your sister, Rachel…or rather, Ranko. You don't go to gym because you don't want people to see how athletic you are, don't you?"

There was silence for a moment, then Ranma slowly stood up, being very careful to keep his eyes and privates covered (the latter of those two actions made Alex suppress moan in disappointment) before saying " _Hai, so desu._ " Almost as an afterthought, the dark-haired boy whispered fearfully, "You're…not going to tell anyone I was here, are you?"

Seeing that Clover hadn't been exaggerating about the definition of Ranma's pecs and abs, Alex wrapped her arms across her stomach and hunched slightly at a sudden spasm that sent a spark of tingling fire running through her body. Her toes curling as she mewled low in her throat, Alex gasped out, "No! No, I won't tell anyone." until the quakes got under control and she added, "I promise…I won't tell anyone, Ranma."

Ranma felt a brief flash of curiosity among the fading terror and welcome relief that his reputation wouldn't be sunk as much as it had back in Nerima, and he asked "Ah…Alex? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine…I'm completely fine."

Her voice now much steadier, Ranma believed her and decided it was time for discretion to become the better part of valor as he took a half-step out of the stall, saying "Well, I'm all clean, so I should probably get going—"

"No!"

Ranma froze, panic returning at the girls vehement denial and he nervously asked "Uh…what?"

-0-

Dominique focused the camera on Alex, the desperation on the Latina's face as obvious as her arousal as she stuttered, " _You-you aren't clean yet!"_  clearly grasping for whatever straws were in reach as she went on, " _You were going to get that soap over there, right? So you haven't used it yet, and you're not clean! And if you stay, I'll get it for you—"_

The camera girl's face split into a wide, delighted grin while Alex and Ranma's faces mirrored each other in mutual shock at her slip of the tongue. Dominique bit back a laugh at Ranma's high-pitched, "Nani!?" while Alex looked between boy and soap a few times, bit her lip and said tremulously, " _I…want you to stay."_

Ranma digested that for a moment, before hesitantly asking, " _W-why?"_

(Yes, do tell!) Dominique smirked maliciously, waiting for the Latina to say something nice and juicy.

" _I…I thought I would be the only person here too, but I didn't really think about what would happen if somebody else came in."_  Alex gulped and Dominique bit back a groan at the lustful girls pathetic attempt at acting afraid as she whispered, " _I'm…kinda scared what would've happened if you…if another guy was in here besides you and I was all alone. If I get your soap for you, can you stay, please?"_

(Oh,  _please._ ) The voyeur thought disgustedly (Does she think he's an idiot or something? There's no way he doesn't know she wants to fuck the hell out of him.)

Then she caught a subtle bit of movement, and Dominique noticed that Ranma's posture had changed. More straight backed, with what she could see of his face giving an impression of determination as he said, " _Alright, Alex. If it makes you feel better, I'll stay."_

(The new boy is some kinda white-knight?) Dominique thought that over for a minute, then shook her head. (No way. He's probably just waiting for his moment to sneak a peek or something)

" _Thank you, Ranma."_  the nude girl sighed with relief, though the reason for it was obviously not because of any feeling of security as she looked at the boy's cleaning product and slowly walked over. Dominique crowed her choice of angle, as she got a full frontal view of Alex approaching the bench, with only a towel over her shoulders covering her breasts while her shaved mons was on full display. Already thinking about what kind of nasty websites she could upload these pics too, Dominique listened to the light slap of bare feet on tiled floor and cocked her eyebrow in disbelief as Ranma's head turned only slightly at the sound, but his hand remained firmly affixed over his eyes so his new assistant could retain her modesty.

Then Alex reached the bench and leaned forward, only to stop and her face glowed like a traffic light before sending a look over her shoulder, having only now realized that she was about to bend over in front of a boy and had his eyes not been covered, given him a look at her full moon. Dominique's jaw dropped and a corner of her mouth twisted upwards in wicked delight as Alex slowly withdrew her towel from her shoulders, exposing her bare breasts to the camera while dropping the towel to the floor, before she slowly slid her legs apart and bent over. The snobby gossip wanted to cackle wildly as the 'sweet and innocent' Alex bent over farther than necessary and assumed a pose straight out of a porno flick, but all she could do was massage her breast and pray she kept the camera steady as the raunchiness of the scene turned her on more than she could've anticipated. When the hispanic girl looked over her shoulder again, Dominique waited for the call to mount up with bated breath, but her expectations were dashed by what Alex did next.

Seeing Ranma set the girl off, her eyes screwing shut and hands flashing out to grip the bench she was leaning over with white knuckles, her toes curling against the tile floor and body shaking as Alex fought to remain standing. Even as Dominique wondered, (No way…is she cumming!?) with wide-eyed disbelief, Alex's gritted teeth and labored breathing answered the voyeur's question. When a faint glimmer prompted Dominique to zoom in out of curiosity, she bit back a moan at the almost imperceptible streams running down Alex's inner thighs, captured perfectly by the camera along with an otherwise inaudible whisper of, " _Ohh…oh my Gaaawwwd!"_  as the Latina rolled through was was apparently a monster orgasm just from exposing herself to a guy who wasn't even looking at her.

When Ranma called, " _Alex? Are you okay?"_ , that seemed to shake her out of non-coital release and she breathed, " _Yeah…yeah, Ranma, I'm okay."_ while panting for air.

(I'd say she's  _more_  than okay!) Dominique mused while running her hand down to unzip her pants as Alex looked at the bar of soap with half-lidded, post-orgasmic eyes and picked it up. The camera girl slid her hand across her mound as the Latina turned around and walked towards the oblivious boy on slightly wobbly legs and thought (Damn, this girl is such a  _perv!_ )

-0-

Ranma wondered what Alex had been doing as he heard her walk back to him, feeling himself grow red in embarrassment and arousal as he sensed her standing next to him, just outside the stall before she said softly "Here you go."

He gulped and said "Thanks." And reached for the bar, only to stop as he realized he was using the hand covering his manhood. Blushing furiously, he closed his eyes while quickly hiding his semi-hard member once more and held out his former blindfold for his soap. There was the barest contact against his fingers but before he could grasp it, the slick block was pulled away from him and his face twisted in confusion for a second. Before he could ask Alex what she was doing, he found himself slightly chilled as the stream of hot water from the showerhead mysteriously disappeared, and the sound of the spray changed significantly. It still  _sounded_  like water was spattering against skin, but he wasn't being hit by it, so…

His eyes popped open and immediately took in the sight of Alexandra Vasquez standing right in front of him, bar of soap in hand and looking at him the same half-lidded, lustful way Clover had last night. In a half-second, his eyes bounced from her feet to her face and confirmed that she was naked as the day she was born before he covered his eyes again and shouted, "Alex?! What are you doing!?"

Alex breathed heavily, a part of herself asking that same question, though the rest of her was more focused on watching the droplets of water clinging to the well-defined muscles of the boy she was sharing a very intimate setting with. The powerful orgasm she'd had moments earlier dimmed her fires and granted a bit of lucidity, though it wasn't enough for her as the presence of a man so close at hand had pushed Alex's needle into the red-zone, and she wasn't running out of gas anytime soon. "I needed to take a shower too." She spoke in a semi-calm tone that almost covered up the throaty moan of arousal as she saw his shaft swell, since his hand wasn't big enough to completely protect his modesty. "And…I wanted to ask you for a favor."

"Favor?" Ranma asked nervously while cursing himself to make his hard-on go away. "What kind of favor?"

The Saotome spear having reached full strength, Alex almost came again just watching it bob with Ranma's pulse, then looked towards his covered eyes. "I…I have a secret. Kind of like yours…your sister told me about it a little while ago, and…"

Alex's hand shook, her mind screaming to know what the hell she was thinking as she brought the bar of soap up and pressed it to Ranma's chest. He tensed up at her touch, making his body all the more desirable to her and setting off a barely suppressed moan before she whispered, "Just…listen to me, while I clean you off. When you're done, you can leave…but I'd like your help with something…"

Ranma fought the urge to groan at the sensation of Alex's fingers scraping across his skin while she slowly rubbed the bar along his pecs, trying not to think about how close she was to him and how she'd been looking at him before he'd shut his eyes again. "A-Alex…you don't have to do that—"

"Yes, I do, Ranma." Alex swallowed as she prepared to admit to something that her best friends had only discovered by accident. "Because…you made me cum."

-0-

Dominique bit her lip, slipping a finger between her sodden folds as she watched Alex teasingly rubdown Ranma's body. The fact that her mouth was somewhat occupied managed to keep her from being discovered, as she'd almost laughed when Ranma's reaction to Alex's frank admission of release was to freeze solid and then blurt, " _I did_ what _!?"_

" _You…well, not on purpose, but you made me cum just now."_  Alex went on, keeping her voice calm and level even though Dominique could seen the dark-haired girl's knees shaking as she explained in a low, throaty moan, " _When I got your soap, I bent over and realized that you could have…you would have seen me if your eyes were open. So…I s-spread my legs a little, and bent way o-over-ah!"_

Dominique zoomed in as Alex hunched forward, eyes closed, her hand shaking where it was pressing the bar of soap against the top of Ranma's 6-pack as the Latina gasped, " _I..I came! J-just being in here, with you, it's making me so hot!"_

" _A-Alex!"_  Ranma's face was beet-red under his hand, while his dick looked hard enough to hammer in a tent-peg as he swallowed and said nervously, " _I'm really flattered, but I can't do this-and-that with you! I'm with Clover-!"_

" _I_ KNOW _!"_  Alex's harsh shout made Dominique's jaw drop in shock as the Latina shrieked, " _I'm not asking you to fuck me! I just_ _ **want**_   _you to, cause I'm so fucking HOT and I-I c-c-can't…"_

Alex's voice devolved into what sounded like almost pained whimpers as the soap was dropped to the floor with a dull thunk, her eyes closing and lips twisting in a grimace as she shuddered and whispered, " _I'm cumming! Oh my God, I'm_ cumming _! R-Ranma, hold me! Please,_ _ **hold**_   _me!"_

Ranma complied almost immediately, opening his eyes and reaching out to catch Alex as her legs gave way. Dominique wiped away a bit of drool as the orgasming Latina was pulled against Ranma's chest, her full-body tremors making her shake in his arms while gasping and moaning, and the snob wondered just how much she could get for this video on one of those voyeur porn sites.

-0-

Ranma took stock of his situation. He was buck-naked, hard as a rock, holding onto a girl who was apparently going through a mind-numbing orgasm and wondering how in the hell that Beverly Hills had managed to top Nerima for sticking him in outlandish situations. The bemused thought of, (Well, at least there's no one else around to see this) made him smile, even as he looked down into Alex's slightly parted lips and resisted the sudden urge to kiss them while she rested her cheek on his shoulder. Feeling the smooth skin of her back under his palm, Ranma made very very certain he wasn't holding anywhere that could be construed as hentai or ecchi, not that it seemed to matter for the girl trembling in his arms.

"Ah…ah…ah God…" Alex panted as her eyes slowly opened, seeing Ranma's warm, grey blue irises looking into hers. Feeling her body pressed against his gave her the sensation of a 'slow burn', as her imagination was all too eager to fill in the erotic puzzle pieces inside her head, while the reality let her savor the feeling of his skin. "Ranma… _Gomen nasai_." She said softly in a tone that was far too satisfied and happy to be regretful. "I just…I couldn't help it."

"Th,that's alright, Alex." Ranma smiled in an embarrassed fashion and tried keep his eyes firmly away from her breasts as he chuckled. "It's kinda flatterin', honestly. I didn't think I could turn a girl on so much that she'd…you know, just from looking at me."

Alex's cheek rubbed against his chest as she lazily shook her head. "It wasn't cause of that, Ranma. You're really hot, but if I wasn't so horny from playing soccer, there's no way I would have cum just from looking at you."

His ego having been rudely deflated, something about the absolute confidence in the girl's tone offended Ranma, but he was too distracted by the reason  _why_  she'd been able to accomplish what she'd implied to be an impossible task and he blinked at her quizzically. "Eh? You were horny from playing soccer?"

"Yeah. That's my secret, Ranma." Alex gave the confused boy a wide, lazy grin. "Exercising turns me on. Basketball, soccer, running track. I don't know why, but I get so  _wet_ playing sports that I need to find someplace quiet to take care of myself afterwards."

"Wow…Alex, that's—"

"I know," Alex looked away from him, her cute expression marred by an embarrassed frown. "It's  _weird_ , but I just can't stop it…"

A part of Ranma's mind clouded at her shame, a bubbling bit of anger that a sweet girl should be so embarrassed by something that barely registered as  _ecchi_  in his own experiences, which swelled when she met his eyes again and asked plaintively, "Please, don't tell Ranko? I don't want her to…think I'm  _hentai_ , you know?"

Alex was confused as Ranma scowled darkly at her request, and a part of her felt a little less comfortable being held in his arms, when he suddenly declared angrily, "Alex, you are not a  _hentai_ , and don't  _ever_  call yourself that again!"

She blinked at the unexpected mood switch and quizzically stammered, "W-what?"

" _Hentai_  is a deranged lech who literally can't survive if he goes too long without grabbing a girl's chest or stealing someone's underwear." The pigtailed boy's statement made Alex's eyes widen as he spat, " _Hentai_  is an egomaniacal jackass who attacks any guy he see's talking to a girl he  **claims**  is ' _his_ ' and then screams sorcery when he gets his butt kicked. A  _Hentai_  is an old man with a palm-tree on his head and a hair fetish who thinks every boy should be shaved bald and all girls should have bowl-cuts." Ranma looked into Alex's hazel eyes and declared solemnly "Alex…you are not  _hentai_ , and I will never call you that. I promise."

A warmth spread through Alex, separate from the hormonal rush which was building slowly again and she smiled gratefully at Ranma as she blushed and murmured, "Thank you…Ranma." wondering if his opinion would change when she asked for another favor from him.

-0-

(What the fuck is  _hentai?_ ) Dominique thought to herself while taking a moment to focus on Alex and Ranma's bodies from the waist down, making it easier for later creative editing to splice in whatever filth she wanted. (Sounds to me like a bunch of pervs more than anything else.)

Hovering a few seconds on Ranma's wiry, thick arm wrapped around Alex's waist, the snob snorted. (But then again, he is from Japan and they're  _all_  perverts in some way or another…)

" _Ranma?"_  The sound of Alex's voice brought Dominique out of her not-at-all ignorant stereotype as the Latina asked, " _Who…were you just talking about?"_

" _Happy, martial arts master who my dad trained under; Tatchi, captain of my old school's Kendo club; and the Principal of my old school, named Kino."_

" _They…they're all really like that?"_

" _Alex-chan, I couldn't make up something that ridiculous if I tried, which is what I told Clover last night when I told her about Konachi—"_

" _Kodachi, Ranma."_  Dominique cocked an eyebrow with interest at Alex's slightly disapproving tone. " _Konachi isn't even a word and I'd like to know why you didn't tell Clover that crazy gymnast's real name."_

Ranma looked abashed he admitted, " _I…didn't want Clover looking her up…and possibly bringing her here. It's the same reason I-Ranko asked you not to look for my dad."_

" _That's fair."_  Alex admitted after a moment of thought. " _But you can't keep lying if things were really that bad."_ The Latina narrowed her eyes. " _Were those the real names of those three perverts?"_

" _N…no…Happy is short for Happosai, Tatchi is Tatewaki, and I have no idea what the principal's first name is."_

" _Then what's his last name?"_  Dominique smirked as Alex gave Ranma a stern look that seemed rather out of place on a girl still reddened from afterglow and laying against a naked boy's chest. " _Ranma…"_

" _It's…Kuno…which is Tatewaki's last name…and Kodachi's."_  Ranma nodded at Alex's shocked look " _Yeah. Father, son, and daughter. Tells you something doesn't it?"_

" _Yeah, hope we never make a Kendo club or need a new Principal."_

The two teens shared a laugh and Dominique rolled her eyes in consternation, resisting the urge to yell at them to get back to the juicy stuff. The snobs silent request was answered by Alex, who murmured softly " _Ranma…are you still willing to help me, even though I didn't finish cleaning you?"_

" _Umm, yeah, Alex."_  Ranma's laugh turned nervous as he caught the edge of arousal in the brown-skinned girl's voice " _I can help out with…what did you need, anyway?"_

If there was a God, Dominique was ready to be sworn in as the new pope when Alex's quiet whisper of " _Can you…masturbate with me?"_  Brought a surge of wicked delight to the twisted girl's loins.

-0-

Ranma's eyes widened as he took in the tableau of the beautiful girl resting against him, with his length sticking out just next to her smooth hip. "Masturbate…"

"N-not each other!" Alex shook her head quickly, trying to deny the allegation even though her rewarming body wholeheartedly approved of the idea and she stammered "I don't want to make you cheat on Clover, even though what you two did last night might not count as sex—"

" _Nani!?"_

"Long story." Alex admitted sheepishly. "But, I don't want to really… _touch_  you." She looked down to where her chest was pressed against his and flushed brightly. "Umm…more than this…" Before returning her gaze to his "Because…I think it would be cheating if we did. But if I'm just touching myself, then it's  _definitely_  not cheating."

"I-I see…" Ranma looked at her chest and swallowed "But…why do you want  _me_  too…you know?"

"I…I was going to make myself feel good anyway, and if I see you…I think it will feel even better." Unconsciously, Alex slid a hand across her groin, making Ranma's eyes widen as he followed her trek and she whispered "And I want to thank you too. So, you can look at me…and I'll look at you. And we'll both feel good, okay?"

"Alex…"

"Please, Ranma?" The brown-skinned girl whimpered as she rubbed her mons. "I'm so hot…I really want to feel good, and I need you-I  _want_ your  _help_ …"

Catching her slip of the tongue easily, Ranma met her eyes and felt that familiar twinge in his moral center, the same one that had landed him in some seriously hot water from time to time, where he couldn't simply leave a damsel in distress. Slowly, he brought a hand from around Alex's waist and reached down to grasp the shaft of his prick, his breathing growing heavier as he started to wank himself.

Alex immediately caught his acceptance and responded by slipping her fingers between the folds of her sex, moaning loudly as she finally worked to give herself some much needed relief with a soft cry of "T-thank you, Ranma!" While Ranma was able to focus on her face and body with minimal effort, Alex looked like she was watching a yo-yo competition as her head bounced back and forth between his lust-clouded eyes and his dick, until she eventually settled on staring at his member with undisguised want. Both teens unconsciously matched their movements, with Alex fingering herself in time with Ranma's strokes, feeling her heat rise as she whispered "Oh my God…" From the subtle pulse of his manhood throbbing in his grip "It's so  _hard_."

"You…ever seen one before?" Ranma panted as she stared at his package.

Alex shook her head. "N-not in person…" She whispered while she watched the loose skin of his shaft rub the ridge of his crown. "Just a little, online…yours looks a lot like the ones I saw on there…"

Ranma's pride swelled a little at that, which ended up distracting him enough that he gasp loudly as his balls were suddenly cradled in the palm of Alex's non-frigging hand. "A-Alex!" He moaned as he froze his motions while the entranced Latina lightly squeezed his nuts.

"I just wanted to feel it…" She whispered as she registered the smoothness of the orbs contained within the wrinkled sack "For a second…it's—" Alex gave a him a squeeze as a bolt of pleasure made her hunch over and cry out " _Ah!_  Oh fuck! Oh fucking  _God_!" While her pistoning finger were soaked in release.

Ranma let go of his prick, more from the early warning alarm that if he didn't take his hand away from his sensitive bits, the sight and sound of the dark-haired girl orgasming while pressed up against his body would set him off. He grunted as he waited for the clenching in preparation for release to subside, chiding himself for being too quick again while Alex came down from her orgasm with soft moans. She finished, the Latina met his eyes and whispered "I came again…"

"I noticed."

Ranma's slightly frustrated panting brought a confused look from Alex "Ranma? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Ranma grunted "I'm just really close and had to stop for a second."

"You're close?" Alex started looking towards his dick "But, why would you sto—" and she froze at the sight of snow sitting at the peak of mount Saotome. A tiny droplet of white fluid had appeared at the head of his dick, quivering slightly as his erection bobbed with his pulse and it took Alex a few seconds to realize she was looking at his pre-cum. The blood pounded in her ears as she finished her question in an awestruck whisper, "Why…would you stop?"

"Cause I didn't want to be too fast." Ranma grumbled "Last night with Clover, she said she didn't want me to hold back, but it was more like I couldn't." His breathing steadied as he got his hormones back under control "Kinda glad we didn't have sex or she'd have been disappointed…supposed to be a manly-man, not a  _minute_ -man."

An idea struck Alex.

One that only occurred due to the overriding desire to screw the living daylights out of the boy in front of her and gained any sort of headway for the exact same reason, as her more rational mind would have shouted down the idea immediately for numerous logical inconsistencies and moral fallacies.

All those arguments were locked in a car trunk and pushed off a cliff as she gave Ranma a wide-eyed awestruck smile and declared, "Ranma, I got an idea!"

He blinked at the change in expression from the Latina and replied hesitantly, " _Ano_ …what's that?"

"Listen, you're a virgin and I'm a virgin too, right?" Ranma nodded and Alex went on eagerly, "You're worried about pleasing Clover and I'm kinda worried that I won't be good at sex either, but we can't cheat together, right?"

"R-right?"

"Well, I think I know how we can get some experience, so we won't be as surprised the first time we do it and it won't be cheating!"

"Really?!" Caught up in the dark-haired girls excitement, Ranma found himself smiling and eager to hear her proposal. "What is it?"

-0-

" _You need to put your dick in me!"_

Dominique couldn't decide if she should groan in disgust, cackle madly, or moan in pleasure at Alex's sincere, giddy request. Ranma looked like he'd almost fallen in shock before saying incredulously, " _Alex, that_ _ **is**_   _cheating!"_

" _Not if you only do it once!"_

The snobby voyeur's jaw dropped at that and she shook her head with a wicked grin while the apparent runaway from some bastardized cross between a school and a lunatic asylum stared at the girl he was sharing a shower with and blurted, "Nani?!"

" _If you put your dick in me and then move, that would be cheating, because you're using me instead of your hand to make yourself cum! But if you put it in me once and hold still, then you're just finding out how it feels to be inside a girl! Then when you pull out, you'll know what to expect when you and Clover have sex and you didn't cheat by using me to make yourself cum! Everybody_ wins _!"_

Noting the wide-eye'd mania in Alex's eyes, Dominique was reminded of the stereotypical mad scientist screaming 'eureka' and thought to herself, (Jeez, who'd have known being horny could make someone freaking crazy? There's no way this guy will fall for that-)

The snob stopped as Ranma looked thoughtful for a moment, eyes narrowed as he was clearly running over the logic in his own mind. Which was clearly in a similar state of insanity as Alex as he said hesitantly, " _Just one time?"_

" _Yes!"_  Alex cheered giddily. " _Then you can pull out and use your hand to finish up while I do the same! It's win-win!"_  The brown-skinned girl shivered a little and gave him a smile that screamed 'I'm-so-fucking-turned-on' as she added, " _And…it would really help me, cause then the next time I practice and need to 'help myself', I can just remember how you felt and be done quicker, so I won't be caught and people think I'm a pervert!"_

(Too late for that.) Dominique snarked. Though the camera sees all and the Mandy's lacky couldn't believe her eyes as Ranma got a determined look on his face and nodded. " _Alright, Alex. I'll help you."_

"O.M.G." Dominique breathed as Alex hugged Ranma tightly and elatedly thanked him. "White knight dumbass for the  _win_!"

-0-

Her thanks given, Alex gave Ranma a winning, grateful smile before pulling away from him and looking around, her mind spinning as she tried to figure out how they could experience a near-sexual act together. (On the floor would be gross, no matter who's on bottom.) the terminally horny Latina thought quickly. (And we can't do it out of the shower or there'll be a mess when we're done and finish ourselves off.)

After dismissing the more complex and unsatisfactory solutions to the problem of how to  _almost_  make the beast with two-backs, the simplest solution clicked in Alex's mind and she chirped, "I got it!" Before spinning around and bending forward, bracing her hands on the wall opposite of Ranma and spreading her legs. When she looked over her shoulder, Alex realized she was in almost the exact same situation she had been earlier, only this time Ranma wasn't attempting to let her keep her modesty and instead stared at her womanhood with wide-eye's and flushed cheeks. A tingling shock raced through the Latina's legs, making her toes curl against the tile and she wondered if she could really trust him to pull out, or if she cared if he didn't.

Ranma tried to live the honorable life.

Mostly.

Most of the time…give or take one or two instances of petty theft, dirty tricks, and other behaviors that come with the territory of being raised by a certain fat, lazy panda.

The bottom line is that Ranma's moral code could have a bit of flexibility to it, though  _certainly_  not enough to maliciously cheat on a significant other. Alex's idea for how they could diminish their mutual performance anxiety, without him betraying his girlfriend's trust, seemed to find every weak point in his moral fiber, which bent further and further until it had formed a perfect loophole that made Ranma agreed with the Latina's otherwise ludicrous plan.

Then she'd spun around and he'd watched the muscles in the brown girl's athletic backside move as she took a step away from him, thinking how he hated to see her go, but could watch her leave  _all_  day long before getting a view of her full moon that would stick with him forever. His jaw dropped as she bent lower and lower, until her hands were flat on the wall, with the still running shower spraying across her back as she assumed a pose that just  _begged_  for her to be mounted. Then Alex looked over her shoulder, met his eyes and then gave a soft cry he was becoming all too familiar with as her ass, thighs and sex tightened under his gaze, making Ranma wonder if it was possible for a guy to have an orgasm without touching himself, and if not, would he be the first.

Shaking slightly, Alex smiled weakly, blushing as she said "S-sorry." Then gave him a worried look and added "Umm…Just once, right? You promise?"

Ranma nodded once, saying " _H-hai_ , Alex." as he stepped up behind her. The pigtailed teen found himself entranced by the water streaming off her body, down her smooth rounded cheeks and over her mouthwateringly moist peach which was making her legs even wetter. The sight of his manhood poised and level with her sex made him very glad he wasn't touching his dick at the moment or he would've inadvertently soaked her entrance with a different fluid. Then Alex's fingers came into view from underneath her groin and Ranma held his breath as they curled up and spread her nether lips, giving him one of the 2 most amazing visions of his life, easily tied with the memory of Clover's womanhood being opened before his eyes only a few days ago. Barely touching his cock as he maneuvered it into position, Ranma hesitated just before her open gate and whispered "How…*glup*…far?"

"A-all the way?" Alex answered with a voice choked on raw desire, "Please?"

Nodding once, Ranma braced himself and moved forward, bracing himself as he slowly prepared to experience heaven for the first time.

Alex held still, nervous energy making her fingers scratch against the linoleum as she prepared to be hypothetically deflowered. (It…I know it's going to feel good.) she thought as Ranma moved closer. (B-but, it can't feel  _that_  different from my fingers, can it? It'll be d-deeper, but I'll be able to handle it-)

Then his cap slid between her lips, the smooth skin rubbing against her entrance making her clench even as he filled her, stretching her walls and making Alex's eyes widen. The heat of his engorged cock robbed her lungs of air, making her breaths come shorter and more rapidly until she felt like she was on the last leg of a track meet. The iron-like, unyielding hardness of his spear forced more and more of his manhood into her virgin sex and a part of Alex's mind sardonically asked, (What was that about being able to 'handle it'?)

When Ranma finally bottomed out, the wiry hairs of his wrinkled sack touching Alex's sensitive nub, the almost terminally in heat Latina climaxed with a force she'd yet to experience so far in her life, giving a low wail that reverberated through the locker room while her pussy spasmed wildly around the first cock it'd had the  _extreme_  pleasure of making the acquaintance of.

Ranma found himself in a similar situation, as he'd been raised to be the manliest man who ever lived and figured that he could handle the untested waters of a woman's body pretty well, especially with the very memorable experience of Clover's talented tongue and lips in his rearview mirror. (As amazing as Clover-chan was, how can Alex's… _there_  compare to that?)

But when his crown slipped into Alex's velvet vice, Ranma realized that there was  **no**  comparison between a good blowjob and a good pussy as his legs started to shake before he'd made it half-way into the brown-skinned girl's channel. The only thing that made the churning in his balls worse than Alex's breathless cries of pleasure, was that her already tight depths were pulling on his shaft harder and more insistently than he been doing to himself earlier, making his soldiers scream for their marching orders as his body prepped for war.

He grunted and pushed on, stubbornly declaring that  _he_  was in command of his body, not her and refused to pull out for a breather before  _at least_  making it all the way inside. His fingers digging into Alex's firm cheeks, it was an impressive effort by Ranma to keep himself from going off like a bottle rocket and it was almost as much of a fight to stop himself from cheering loudly when her ass finally pressed against his waist.

That cheer came out as an "Oh  _Sh_ -!" as Alex let out a very loud moan at the same time her walls started squeezing Ranma's cock in a way that sent quakes through his loins, breaking the chain of command long enough for a few renegades sailors to form a scouting party to land on the quivering Latina's beaches.

Awash in the sensations of an amazing orgasm, Alex had enough presence of mind to feel Ranma's cock give a powerful throb in her depths. The twitch sent a strong spasm through Alex, causing a jump in pitch to her orgasmic song, though the a warm fluid coating her walls couldn't get through the barriers thrown up by her conscious mind and she simply moaned, "Ooohhhh…you're getting  _haarrddeerr!"_  While her body reacted to his warning shot by spooling up the turbine on a hormonal nuclear reactor, making Alex's fingers and toes clench tightly as she hung on for dear life.

"Alex!" Ranma shouted, frustration and lust adding a irate growl to his voice. "I-I have to pull out!" His warning ended in a grunt as another spasm from her quivering sex brought another mutiny and more of his traitorous navy jumped ship and swam into the beautiful girl whose ass jiggled as her body jerked on his rod.

Her body too busy prepping for a mindblowing orgasm that would outstrip the one when he'd first penetrated her by far, once again Alex was too far gone trying to hang on for dear life than pay attention to more slick goo becoming primer along her inner walls. "Not yet!" She gasped. "I haven't-! I haven't gotten a good feel yet!" Her entrance no longer needing doormen, Alex started rubbing her clit with her fingers and called out, "Let me feel it! Please, Ranma! I need-!"

The sudden vibration transferring through her groin made Ranma gasp and shout "Alex! I'm gonna CUM!" as a coup d'etat started and his manhood launched the boats. Against all odds, the Neriman runaway was able to prevent an all-out war as he managed to pull free of the Latina's womanhood before she'd been invaded, though he did leave behind a platoon of skirmishers as his ridge had only barely crested her nether lips when he felt a ribbon of jism fly into her silken depths. While he couldn't see that first shot that had been loosed inside the quivering Latina's pink slit, he had a front row seat to the remainder of the war as he emptied his clip all across her ass, entrance, and inner thighs, groaning in pleasure as Alex's chocolate skin was coated in his off-white jism.

Alex gasped when she heard his warning, the heat from her sex finally clueing her into the fact that Ranma had been giving her warning shots before the main offensive. The thought of his seed inside her virgin depths strained Alex's hormones to the breaking point, which then snapped when he suddenly pulled free, but not before  _something_  warm splattered rd along her inner wall near the entrance to her sex. The Latina moaned loudly as she came again, feeling his sticky cream glaze her backside and labia while waves of pleasurable tremors shook her body. The feeling of being coated in cum seemed to strengthen her orgasm, despite the lack of a hard cock inside her tender depths.

But then there was a strike that made Alex's eyes bug, as a spurt of hot jizz impacted her clit like a bulls-eye, and she let out a scream like a cheerleader in a slasher-movie. Losing muscle control from the surge of fire across her skin, the Latina dropped to her knees and elbows with a wet smack, her skin burning hotter than she would have believed possible without the aid of gasoline and a match.

It took Ranma a second to regain enough control over his body or awareness to realize Alex had fallen, but when he did, the effect was immediate as he dropped down, calling her name worriedly. Seeing her shaking, eyes clenched shut and teeth bared, Ranma decided on a course of action and quickly swept her into a bridal carry before exiting the stall.

-0-

Dominique panted heavily, heart racing from fear and lust with her pants and panties tangled around her knees. She'd adjusted her position to catch the 'not-cheaters' and had been fingering herself when Sato had dove into Alex's snatch. While tempted to comment harshly on the supposed stud's endurance, the snob had been too distracted by pumping her fingers between her slit and biting the bottom hem of her shirt to muffle her own sounds of release as Ranma glazed Alex's mocha ass.

That's when she'd almost been caught, as Ranma suddenly picked the collapsed Latina up and headed right for where Dominique had been hiding behind a row of lockers, forcing the voyeur to jump back and breath as softly as possible to not alert them to her presence.

Listening around the corner for any sign of pursuit, the only thing she heard was Alex's labored breathing slow to a more manageable level and her soft whimpers fade away until Ranma asked worriedly, " _You okay?"_

" _Y…yeah…"_  Alex replied wearily. " _What happened?"_

" _You collapsed. I think you're fine, but I was worried you'd hurt something for a minute."_

" _Hurt…is totally the opposite of how I feel right now."_  The Latina moaned in response. Figuring the two were suitably distracted, Dominique finagled with the screen on her camera so she could still see what was being recorded without exposing too much of herself to discovery and looked to see that Ranma was sitting on the slim wooden bench running along the center of the isle of lockers with Alex in his lap. The image would have cut a rather romantic picture, save for the streaks of off-white clinging to Alex's ass, which Dominique made sure to zoom in on with a wicked grin as the brown-skinned girl murmured happily, " _You made me cum_ so  _hard."_

" _Yeah…"_  Ranma chuckled a little nervously. " _Sorry, I…tried to warn you. But I kept my promise."_

" _You did."_  Alex nodded, though a small smile formed as she said, " _You didn't pull out quick enough though. I can feel a little of your stuff in me."_

The pig-tailed boy blushed at that, then his eyes widened and he breathed, " _Masaka"_  Before looking at the Latina fearfully. " _Alex, are you safe today?!"_

Alex's response was to look at him quizzically, and too Ranma's obvious horror, she tapped her cheek thoughtfully before saying, " _I'm pretty sure."_

" _P-PRETTY sure!?"_

" _Yeah, I'm not the most regular, so I think I'm fine until Tuesday or Wednesday."_

(Heheh) Dominique snickered at Ranma's pale, worried expression. (Shouldn't have done the time if you didn't want to do the crime, loverboy!) the snob purred to herself as she thought about how much fun it would be if miss sweet-and-innocent was not only outed as a homewrecking perv, but got knocked up too.

" _Course, I'm on the pill too, so that helps keep things stable."_

Dominiques shoulders sagged and she sighed with disgust while Ranma's head drooped and he groaned, " _Alex, next time START with that! You almost gave me a heart attack!"_

-0-

Recalling the story from his sister on how he'd been all but forced into knocking a girl up as far as a year ago, Alex looked chagrined even as she giggled, "Sorry, Ranma."

"That's alright, Alex." Ranma replied softly as he met her eyes again. "You just got to be more careful, okay?" Ranma's eyes clouded as he remembered the reason why the girl in his arms had his male essence inside her and amended, "Or…we need to be more careful." Before looking at Alex seriously and asking, "Alex…did we…you know, cheat?"

The fog of hormones had lifted and Alex blinked, remembering what had caused her epic 'gasm, and now clear-headed enough to realize that her reasoning for getting a ride on Ranma's sausage wasn't just flimsy, it was a rope made of play-doh. Looking down towards her groin and where she could feel Ranma's seed sticking to her, inside and out, as well as his still hard member poking her butt, Alex bit her lip nervously and said, "I…don't think we did…I mean, you didn't move did you?"

"No." Ranma affirmed with a shake of his head. "In and out, one time, like I promised."

"Okay…but you didn't finish off by yourself…" Alex met his eyes with a fearful look. "Which means, I  _am_  the reason you—"

"Alex, you're not." Ranma said quickly, hoping to stave off the girl taking a trip down Guilt Lane. "I was really close when you came up with your idea and if I had waited to calm down a bit more, everything would be fine.  _If_  this counts as cheating…then it's on me, not you."

Alex's heart warmed at that, seeing the 'hardened criminal' willing to take for responsibility for something that she'd come up with when if anything was true, they both had something to do with what happened. (It takes two to tango, after all.) the Latina mused, her breathing getting heavy as the details of the dance they'd done filled her mind and made her loins burn, albeit to a very manageable level. (At least that took care of  _most_ of my heat…wait…)

Ranma returned Alex's soft smile with one of his own, thinking, (This girl is amazing…just like Clover-chan. I can see why they'd be friends now, and I'm not going to come between them.) The pigtailed boy internally chastised himself as he made the connection that in a biblical sense, he'd already  _come_  between them and missed Alex suddenly looking away from him, eyes darting back and forth as she thought about something. Then her eyes widened and she looked at Ranma with the same red-cheeked arousal that had been the prelude to their 'not-romp' and called his name.

Refocusing his attention on her, Ranma blinked to see Alex looking at him with undisguised desire again and saying softly, "Ranma, since you didn't move, you didn't cheat, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose…"

"Then, you don't mind if I ask you for a favor? So we can help each other out a little more?"

The silken arousal in Alex's voice rose Ranma's libido and he swallowed a lump in his throat even as his hard-on swelled slightly. "What…what did you have in mind?"

"Well, we both know how it feels now when…you're inside me." Both teens faces reddened as she went on, "And then you pulled out instead of…moving more, which would have been cheating…but…"

The Saotome's are not known for their prognosticative abilities and in fact the opposite would be more true than not, but Ranma's eyes widened as he briefly channeled the spirit of Nostradamus and he realized what the horny girl sitting in his lap would say moments before she leaned in close and whispered, "I'd…kinda like to know what it's like…if you  _don't_ pull out."

"A-Alex…" Ranma's pulse picked up as he looked into her hazel eyes. "You…but that would be cheating—"

"Not if you don't move." Alex's smile seemed to hypnotize him as she breathed, "Otherwise, you'd be using me…my body to make yourself cum, and not doing it yourself."

"Then…" Ranma looked down towards Alex's thighs, were he could feel his iron-hard member rubbing against the underside of her legs. "You want me to play with myself until I'm close…and just…cum in you?"

Now Alex bit her lip, nervously wondering if she was about to cross a line regarding her (hopefully) lover's morality. "A-actually…I was thinking that since you're with…that you have someone and I don't…then it'd be fine if I moved…and you didn't."

Ranma's eyes widened and he stared at the flushed, nervous Latina, who went on with a slight stammer, "I mean, if you're using me to get off, then you're cheating, right? But if I wanted to know what it's like to  _actually_  have sex instead of just finding out what it feels like to have a guy's dick inside me once, and if you're not moving, you wouldn't be using me. If I did all the work, then you'd just be helping me, right?"

"But then you'd be using me to get off." Ranma replied, his eyes narrowed slightly even as his more primal brain screamed to let her to mount him. "And that would be—"

"No." Alex said quickly, shaking her head emphatically before looking into Ranma's eyes, stunning him again with her sincerity and blazing lust. "Cause…I wouldn't be doing it for myself…I'd be doing it for  _you_." She looked down to her groin and gave a soft whine at the feeling of his erection rubbing her skin. "I wouldn't…be  _trying_  to cum…I mean, that'll probably happen; but I want to make  _you_  to cum a lot more…so I can feel you cum in me."

While he still hesitated, his hormones were still close enough to the steering wheel to assume control of his higher brain functions, with added assistance of his martial artist's code against leaving a damsel in distress. After a moment, Ranma gave Alex a soft smile. "Do you  _really_  want more help?"

Alex's eyes lit up joyfully and she pulled herself against him, whimpering breathlessly, "Yes! Yes, Ranma!  _Please_ help me!"

Shifting his grip so his arms were wrapped around her waist, Ranma nodded gently. "Okay, Alex. I'll help you again."

Alex immediately squealed, "Thank you!" and kissed him full on the lips with a happy moan.

-0-

Clover was shopping.

And in other news, the ocean was wet, now back to Tom with the 10-day forecast.

By the by, shopping was far from the most uncommon experience the blonde-haired blue-eyed spy could be found engaging in. However, this excursion into the wilds of capitalism stood out among others for a very good reason.

" _Rrrrranma."_  Clover purred as she eye'd herself in the full length mirror of the changing room, clad in nothing but a pair of red-lace panties and a matching see-through nightie. Striking a pose with one hand behind her head and the other on her hip, she smiled seductively and blew a kiss at the imaginary pig-tailed man she was preparing for. "Come on over, baby. Clover-chan wants to have a few words with you." She grinned and softly moaned, "Most of those being ' _yes'_  ' _god yes'_  and ' _fuck me'_."

A snort of amusement came from a nearby stall, prompting the blond to glare at the wall separating her from an unknown critic and call out, "Hey, no comments from the peanut gallery!"

"Whatever you say, hun." Came a fairly sassy response that made Clover's eye twitch as the unknown woman asked, "What kinda name is 'Ranma' anyway?"

"It's Japanese, and it means 'Wild Horse'."

Another snort came with a side of sarcasm. "Well, I hope it's appropriate for your sake!"

Grinning wickedly, Clover pulled on the third part of the ensemble, sliding one of a pair of red hose up her leg as she said "Oh believe me, it is! 7 and ½!"

Silence met that remark, only to be followed by a slightly huffy "And what's the catch?"

"So far, absolutely  _nothing_!" Clover replied chipperly while smoothing out the creases in the thin material. "Able to go multiple rounds, total sweetheart with abs you could grate cheese on, a genius clam-diver—"

"Okay wow." The mysterious voice chuckled sardonically. "Yeah, my imaginary boyfriend is awesome too."

Another glare was fired at the innocent divider between the two rooms, before Clover smirked wickedly and delivered her coup de grace. "I don't know about that…" she said breezily as she rolled on the 2nd legging. "Even my imagination isn't good enough to picture a guy who says 'no thanks' to getting guzzled."

Clover took an entirely inappropriate amount of smug satisfaction out of the silence that met her claim, then blinked as a head poked out over the top of the dividing wall, belonging to a pretty, 20-something black woman with long dreadlocks who gaped at Clover and asked, "You makin' this up?"

The blonde smiled widely and chirped, "Couldn't if I tried!" Before smoothing out the creases on the second hose as she went on. "We had Italian, and it turned out he had no idea what red meat and noodles do to a guys flavor."

"Not too unusual, 'cept most guys don't  _care_."

Clover nodded in agreement. "True. Ranma, though…" The blonde gave a delighted giggle. "After I told him he'd taste bad, but was still willing to swallow, he said ' _You don't have to do that',_  because he didn't want to make me do something I wouldn't like!"

The woman's dropped jaw spoke volumes and made Clover bite back a wicked cackle when both of them were surprised by a huskier voice on the other side of Clover's booth. "You still did, didn't you?" asked what sounded like a more 'mature' woman in an amused tone.

"You kidding?" Clover laughed cheerfully, "After he said that, it would have be criminal  _not_  to!"

"Good girl," The voice of experience said approvingly. "You keep him happy, he'll keep you happy."

"Oh  _believe_  me, he does!" Clover pressed her hands to her reddened cheeks, looking off into the middle distance as she purred, " _God_ , he is so  _fiiiine._ "

"There's gotta be some kind of catch." The black girl muttered with a shake of her head. "No way a guy like that doesn't have some kind of baggage."

Clover frowned as she remembered that Ranma did in fact have baggage by way of a psychotic gymnast while the yet unseen other woman said, "She's got a point. If he's as perfect as you say, I'd brace for the other shoe to drop."

"Oh, that shoe freaking dropped, but it didn't land on  **me**." Clover's angry growl brought a surprised look from the dreadlocked sorority girl. "It landed on  _him_ , which is why I had to  **settle**  for oral on Friday, and it was like pulling teeth to get him to do  _that_ much!"

"Say what?!"

"He's got this crazy stalker ex back in Japan who made him go down on her and told him he  _sucked_  so she could have an excuse to not return the favor." Clover straightened out the the straps for the nightie as she muttered, "Poor guy had no confidence even though he played me like a harp, while  **I** was the first girl to give him the royal treatment. And the run-up was pretty much me convincing him that the crazy bitch wouldn't hunt me down just because we'd walked on the same side of the street, let alone…" The blonde gave the now scowling dark-skinned girl a despairing look. "How could  _any_  girl do something like that to such a sweet guy?"

"That, is not a  _girl_." Muttered the romantic veteran on the other side of the wall. "That is a  _cunt_  who shouldn't be allowed near  _any_  guy, especially one like that."

"Damn straight." The sistah nodded in agreement before saying to Clover, "But he's yours now, and from the sound of it, I'd buy a lottery ticket 'cause you are on a hot streak." And then ducked back out of sight.

"Or some mace in case the psycho shows up."

While the sistah 'mm-hmmed' the other woman's statement, Clover checked herself over once more and thought, (Actually, the next thing I'm buying is a saddle,) with a wicked grin. (Cause I'm taking that wild horse on a  **ride**.)

-0-

"Ahhh!" Alex cried out as she thrust down, her leg muscles burning as Ranma's pole rose inside her once more, "R-Ranma! Oh my  _God_! Ranma, you're-!" The dark-skinned girl's legs quivered as they gave out, locking her lover's dick balls-deep inside her spasming pussy as sparks shot through her core once more and she whimpered, "You're making me cum…oh God, I'm cumming  _agggaaiinn…_ "

Ranma groaned as Alex's walls clamped down on his shaft, massaging his manhood all the way to the root in an attempt to milk him dry while her pert brown breasts heaving in front of his eyes as she gasped for air. While she'd said she didn't want to have sex with him for her own pleasure, this would be the 3rd time the Latina had squealed and soaked his groin since mounting him. Considering the circumstances though, Ranma didn't mind at all.

As Alex's little loophole necessitated her being on top and she absolutely refused to have Ranma laying on the floor of the locker room, the pigtailed teen had turned to the side to straddle the wooden bench, while Alex had done the same to him. She'd only taken a moment to brace her feet on the floor, line him up and then squat down onto his shaft while he leaned back and gripped the bench with both hands, to help him keep from moving so as not to violate the 'stipulation' to his helping her and keep from crossing the line into 'cheating'. It was a struggle for him though, resisting the urge to return Alex's favor by bucking his hips as she rode him even though the Latina's movements were more than energetic enough for the both of them.

With that in mind, Ranma had actually taken advantage of the situation and was using the opportunity to practice his restraint, clenching every muscle he could and thinking of every unsexy thought possible despite the fact that he was  _supposed_  to be getting off. But he didn't think Alex would mind too much.

However, once again, his denseness with the female sex worked against him as Alex came down from her high and looked at him with a mixture of weariness and a little bit of sadness as she whimpered, "Ranma, what's wrong?"

" _Nani?"_  Ranma asked, likewise breathing heavily though more from his efforts to hold himself back than exertion, as the horny Latina was doing most of the work. "Alex, nothing's wrong."

"Then why haven't you cum yet?" the Latina moaned plaintively as she began to thrust again. "I want you to cum in me! Am I doing something wrong? Doesn't my pussy feel good?"

"Alex, you feel amazing!" Ranma gasped. Then in a moment of clarity, opted for the anti-Nerima option which had served him well since coming to California and was honest with her. "I've just been holding back!"

Alex's eyes widened and she stared at him, mouth agape as she whispered, "Holding back?"

"Y-yeah." Ranma admitted sheepishly, while still distracted by the clenching muscles around his prick. " _Gomen_ , Alex…I wanted to see how well I could restrain myself, 'cause I was embarrassed by how fast I was before." looking downwards, he grunted at the sight of his shaft disappearing in Alex's womanhood while his entire groin was soaked from her repeated orgasms. "I didn't think you would mind…"

While a part of Alex wanted to eagerly kiss Ranma for his selflessness, that more rationally-minded Alex was not in command of her mental faculties at the moment. The current Alex was burned with a combination of lust and a hint of outrage as she sat down again, giving a slight gasp as her clit brushed against the sparse pubes surrounding the base of his pole, but otherwise paid no heed to the lines of fire being traced across her stomach and chest as she grabbed Ranma's face between her hands and gave him a harsh, hormone-fueled glare.

"Ranma. There's a time to be sweet, and there's a time to be a nice guy, but right now is  _not_  that time." Leaning in so her hot breath bathed his face, Alex's voice took on a low growl. "This, is primal. I don't want to make love to you. I want to  **fuck**  you. I want your hot cum in me, and I want it  **now.** "

Having found himself mid-fuck with a girl who'd gone feral in the last few seconds, and in a way that was reminding him far too much of the little furry demons who haunted his nightmares, Ranma swallowed nervously and nodded. " _Hai_ , Alex! I'll stop holding back!"

Immediately, naked relief washed away her angry, feral look and Ranma relaxed.

Then Alex pressed her chest against his, wrapped her arms around his neck and moaned, "Good! Now,  _give it to me!_ " before jerking her hips in short, shallow strokes that made her ass clap lightly against his thighs with every bounce.

Ranma gasped as she twerked on his dick, the new sensations tearing through the flimsy restraints he'd only recently erected, making it so that even if he hadn't intended to keep his promise and continued to restrain himself, Alex's rapid pace would have smashed his resistance anyway. "A-Alex!" Ranma growled through gritted teeth, the sudden pistoning of his shaft driving his needle into the redzone. "You're too fast!"

"No, no I'm not!" Alex moaned in his ear as she switched to a sudden grinding thrust that made his dick bounce between the front and back walls of her pussy like a spring doorjam. "You said you'd cum in me! I want your cum in me! Please, Ranma! Cum in—"

Alex's eyes closed and she gasped, her body quivering for a half-second as she felt his dick throb inside her, similarly to when they were in the shower, though she was too horny to realize what that meant at the time.

But now she knew  _damn_ good and well that twitch meant. Noting absently that it seemed timed to her lover's pulse, Alex's tempo sped up, making her voice rise in response to her faster movements and the sensation warm pre-cum coating her sensitive walls. Humping his shaft almost frantically while grinding her clit against his wiry hairs, Alex shrieked, "You're there! You're cumming, Ranma! Oh God, cum in me, Ranma! Cum in my pussy!  _CUM IN ME!"_

The sudden jerks, her squeezing sex, and her energetic desire for his release made it impossible for Ranma to do anything except give in to her demands. He threw his head back with a shout as his hips bucked off the bench, instinctively driving his cock deeper into the squealing girl as the first ropes of jism raced through his shaft. Alex eyes bugged when he suddenly thrust into her, the sensation all the more potent from from how his member swelled in preparation for launch.

But then something even more intense happened that Alex couldn't have anticipated. Because as it turns out, the length of Ranma's cock in relation to the depth of her pussy put him in the sweetest of sweet-spots. Or to put it another way; the currently not-pigtailed boy's cannon was in perfect position to blast the gateway to the horny Latina's inner courtyard with thick gobs of off-white goo.

The sudden jet of cum striking her cervix made Alex let out a scream that almost deafened Ranma as his hot cream filled her sex. As more shots impacted the entrance to her womb at point blank range, which made her pussy writhe and clamp down on his pole to eagerly milk every drop of sticky seed out of his body, trace amounts of his jism managed to escape the vacuum seal of their coupling to run down her inner-thigh. With the urge to mate fulfilled, Alex's heat was finally satisfied and her voice blended with Ranma's in a song of mutual orgasmic bliss.

-0-

Dominique's eyes rolled back and she couldn't stop a small squeal from escaping her throat as the new transfer student busted a nut inside miss 'sweet-and-innocent' Alex, (like that would mean anything tomorrow) who screamed so loud that Dominique's own sign of orgasm was easily lost in the echoes of the Latina's opera performance. The spy made only a half-hearted attempt to keep the camera steady in one hand, as her other hand was preoccupied with driving two fingers between her sopping labia, though she did make sure she got a good zoomed-in shot of Ranma's dick while he was buried to the hilt in Alex's cunt as thin streams of cum slowly flowed out of her pussy, some of which ran down and dripped off the balls they'd swam out of.

Ranma's breathing steadied slowly as he came down from his orgasmic high, his eyes opening half-way and slowly focusing on Alex's face, which Dominique couldn't see, much to her chagrin. Though she could hear the Latina's quiet, almost pained whispers of, " _It's hot…oh God, Ranma your cum is hot…it's making me cum…yyour cum is making me_ cum…"

Whatever Ranma had seen in Alex's face, he must have liked it as he straightened up, wrapped his arms across Alex's waist and back as he gave the brown-skinned girl a kiss that made their secret snob voyeur whimper with envious need The Latina's response was to moan at the contact and rock her hips slowly, which brought a dropped jaw from Dominique as she realized that the soon-to-be ex-boyfriend of the school bicycle was still inside the girl he'd  _thoroughly_  fucked.

(N-no way!) Dominique's breath quickened as she confirmed with another close-up that yes, Ranma's dick was still hard. While there had to be some kind of shrinkage, what with busting both his nuts in less than a half-hour, he was still stiff enough that he hadn't pulled free of Alex's snatch. While a part of the unseen voyeur's mind wondered whether Alex's athleticism had made her sex tight enough to keep someone as big as Ranma inside her, even with a fresh load of spunk acting as some kind of lubricant, a larger part of Dominique's mind was focused on Ranma himself and all it could say about his performance thus far was, (Oh, my  _God!_  This guy isn't human!)

" _Mmm…mm, Rnnmm?"_  Alex's muffled voice brought Dominique's attention back to the pair's faces, where the Latina soon broke their sudden session of tongue twister to ask, " _Ranma, did you—"_

" _Hai, Alex."_  Ranma nodded, looking ashamed as he admitted, " _I moved, I'm sorry. I just couldn't help it—"_

" _Ranma…even if you didn't move…I…I don't think we can be honest…and say this isn't cheating anymore."_

(Pfft, no shit?) Dominique snorted at the Latina's regretful tone. (Seriously, who did these two  _think_  they were going to fool with that line of bullshit? Only thing dumber than that would be saying that getting a blowjob is 'just kissing'.)

-0-

Seeing the apprehension and guilt in Alex's eyes, Ranma's conscience gave him a swift kick in the ' _you sonuvabitch'_  gland and he said, "No…no we can't." while looking towards their groins, where he could feel his manhood being gripped by her silken mitt. Thinking on how he'd finally crossed the line that he'd been too often accused of gallivanting over back home, Ranma's eyes glinted in determination and he looked up again, his voice set as he said, "Alex."

"Huh?"

Alex, who's normal state of mind had  _finally_  resumed direct control over her body, was shaken from her own musings on infidelity to see Ranma looking at her with a set jaw. She only had enough time to blink and wonder why he looked like a soldier preparing to march off into a minefield when he said, "Tomorrow, I'm going to tell Clover what happened here; and that it was all my idea." And she realized he was doing exactly that.

"Ranma, no!" Alex shook her head quickly. "You can't! Clover will be devastated!"

"I'm not going to lie to her about this, Alex!"

"N-no, that's not what I meant—"

"And I'm not going to get you involved either!" Ranma declared sternly, making Alex's eyes widen in shock as he went on in a harsher, but more solemn tone. "I'll just tell her I cheated on her with some…random girl and then you two can still be friends."

"Ranma…"

Not noticing or caring about Alex's wet eyes, Ranma shook his head and said softly, "You've known her longer than I have…and I'm just some  _ronin_  who couldn't keep it in his pants…I'm just sorry that you ended up having your first time with someone like me—"

There was a crack of skin-on-skin and Ranma blinked as his head snapped to one side and he felt the very familiar sensation of a handprint forming on his cheek. Turning slowly, he saw Alex glaring at him and shaking out her wrist. "Ranma, you are  _not_  the only one involved in this! Clover's my friend and I'm not gonna pretend everything is hunky-dory and let you take all the blame for something we BOTH did!"

The flashbacks were coming again, to times when Ranma had seen Akane glaring at him with tears in her eyes, and he was reminded more potently than ever of the differences between here and home as Alex sniffled and added, "And I'm  _happy_  my first time was with you, Ranma." while running her fingers gently through his hair. "I'm going to tell Clover what happened and that I'm sorry, but if she asks, I'll tell her I would do it again in a heartbeat."

"Alex…" Ranma felt something grow warm in his heart as he asked, "You'd do that…for me?"

Alex nodded gently and gave him a small smile. "Of course. You care about Clover, don't you?"

" _Hai."_

"Do you  _really_  want to break up with her?"

" _Iie."_

"Then I'll tell her what happened," Alex declared solemnly. "If she gets mad, it'll be at me first and not you, cause if she gets mad at you first, she might throw away a really good thing and regret it later."

Hearing her talk about restraining temper tantrums shook something loose in Ranma, and he looked at the girl willing to sacrifice something important to her for his sake, his eyes softening as he pulled her into a tight hug and whispered, "We'll both tell her…and I'm glad you were my first too, Alex."

The feeling of being held by Ranma seemed familiar to Alex and she easily returned his embrace with a gentle, " _Iie iie."_  After a moment though, Alex recalled the elephant in the room, (or so it seemed to her), and hesitantly said, "Umm…Ranma?"

"Yes, Alex?"

"You're kinda still…umm…" Alex experimentally tightened her abs, wondering if she could squeeze his length as she giggled in a shy, aroused fashion. "In me."

"Oh!" Ranma blushed as felt her sex flex around him and likewise realized he was still technically mid-coitus. Reaching down, he grabbed Alex's hips and started lifting. "I'm sorry! I'll just—!"

"No!" Alex's legs came up and wrapped around his waist, holding her down and making the two of them grunt as his brief attempt at extraction was halted in it's tracks. He looked into Alex's eyes with confusion and saw a different kind of girl than the one he'd been coupled with for the last who-knows-how long.  _This_ girl was the sweet-natured Alex who he/his sister had been playing with earlier, blushing shyly as she admitted, "Ranma…I…I don't want you to pull out yet."

" _Ano…_ why, Alex?"

"Cause…umm." She looked down towards their groins and then back up to his face, her blush deepening as she admitted "When you… _finished_  in me before, it felt good…like, really  _really_  good and I was kinda hoping you could do it again?"

Ranma's eyes widened and his body flushed with heat as he gaped at the girl who was still impaled on his manhood. "You want to keep going?!"

Alex nodded once, biting her bottom lip as she admitted "The thing is, Ranma…I'm not as…'out of control' as I was before, and I don't want you to think I only did… _that_  with you because I was too horny to think straight." Her legs tightened their grip around his waist, making them both moan softly as she whispered softly, "Since we both agreed to tell Clover what happened, does it matter if we…did it 2 times? Or 3?"

Ranma frowned at her rather manipulative statement. "I think it does matter, Alex, because now we  _know_  it would be cheating."

"I know…" Alex winced guiltily, making Ranma feel like he'd kicked a puppy as she explained, "It's just…I'm not so  _crazy_  now, you know? I don't feel like I  **have**  to have sex with you, I  _want_  to have sex with you…the way I would if I hadn't been so worked up…" Looking towards their connected groins, she added, "I just figured since you were still hard, you wouldn't mind if we kept going—"

"Alex."

Ranma's serious tone made Alex flinch, thinking she'd offended him and pushed him too far by asking him to continue their affair as he said, "Just because I'm hard doesn't mean I'm going to find someone to have sex with. I wouldn't do that to Clover-chan  _or_  you, because it'd be like I was using whoever was the most convenient, not who I cared about."

Alex blinked at an unexpected touch as Ranma kissed her brow. Looking up, she saw Ranma's soft smile and her heart fluttered as she matched his grin. "I wouldn't do that to her or you, because she's my girlfriend," the pig-tailed teen's eyes glimmered for a moment, and Alex wondered what was going through his head as he finished softly, "And I think you might be the best friend I've ever had."

"Ranma…"

"If you want keep going, then I will, Alex. Cause you drove me crazy too, and I don't want you to think I only had sex with you because I was horny and I was here," Ranma said affectionately. Then his mouth quirked up in a sly grin as he added, "Also, it felt really  _really_  good when I finished inside you too."

Alex flushed beet-red and smiled at Ranma. While her feral urges had been tamed, a hint of need was evident in her voice as she admitted coquettishly, "I think it felt better for me than it did for you." Rather than elucidate on  _why_  she was so certain of that, Alex shyly gave him a peck on the cheek and whispered sincerely, "Thank you." before looking over her shoulder.

Ranma was curiously amused by the mischievous twinkle in Alex's eye when she looked back at him, before her hands gripped his shoulders and she let herself fall backwards. The two of them moaned as his dick shifted within her sex, and he let himself be pulled forward until Alex gave a soft birdlike cry at the feeling of cold wood against the warm skin of her bare back.

Ranma drank in her prone form with wide eyes. Being underneath him like she was gave him a particularly bad Nerima flashback, to the occasions where he and Akane had been in similar positions, albeit most of those times they were fully clothed and it was by total accident. In those situations, Akane had been quick to reject the submissive nature of her position, usually with a hard slap, and a part of Ranma tensed up in preparation for a violent response.

Instead, Alex met his eyes and smiled widely before unwrapping her legs from around his waist. To Ranma's absolute shock, the brown-skinned girl unknowingly mimicked Clover's position from two nights ago by hooking her fingers under her knees and spreading her legs wider, leaving her completely at his mercy.

"There." Alex murmured softly, lifting her head up and smiling as she looked down to where she could feel his hard pole embedded in her body. "I'm ready when you are…but, Ranma?"

The sound of hesitation in her voice made Ranma freeze immediately and his eyes locked onto her face with a worried look. " _Hai_ , Alex?"

"I know…since you're on top, it'll be easier for you control things and restrain yourself…" Hazel irises met stormy blue-grey orbs as she whispered, "But I'd rather you didn't…please?"

As adorable, erotic, innocent and desirable as Alex looked at that moment, Ranma would've tricked Happi into trying to panty-raid a gay bar if she'd asked. With a wide grin, he replied, "For you, Alex; I won't hold  _anything_  back!" as he reached out and grabbed her legs from underneath, pulling her tight against him with his fingers curled over the tops of her thighs.

Alex moaned happily at the slight physical shift, but her appreciative moan of, "Thank you, Ran—" Was cut off by a sharp gasp as a quick flex of his hips withdrew his length from her depths, and then plunged it back inside her again. More breathless cries followed as Ranma attempted to recreate the rapid pace Alex had done when she was riding him, though if you asked his lover what he was doing, she'd have sworn he was trying to break the bench they were fucking on and she was loving every second of it.

The sound of her gasping shouts timed with the wet slaps that came every time he slammed into her was maddening.

The sight of her breasts jerkily bouncing with each stroke and her face, flushed with pleasure while she smiled delightedly at him with those warm, honest eyes was heart melting.

The feeling of her sex pulling at him as he followed the call of the wild and drove himself towards release, his body trying to plant his seed into the willing female pinned under him as soon as possible was indescribable.

People tended to underestimate Ranma Saotome on a lot of things, many of those to their detriment, and one of the worst mistakes anyone could make about him was to short-sell his determination. Because when the Heir to Anything Goes had a goal in mind, he'd move heaven and earth to accomplish it and no one would be capable of stopping him. Right now, that goal happened to be giving the Latina writhing underneath him the balls-deep creampie she'd asked him for, despite the flagrant infidelity he was committing by doing so.

And like all the other times where he'd risen to the challenge, his goal quickly came into sight, and he called Alex's name in warning as he rounded the last lap and his groin muscles started to clench.

Rationally minded Alex may have seized control of her body following her post-workout deep-dicking, and should have felt awful about continuing to have sex with her bestie's boyfriend.

However, rational Alex was able to  _appreciate_ the feeling of getting jackhammered a lot better than her more hormonal side, which had an unfortunate issue regarding 'lust-fog'.

Thus, rational Alex didn't give a single fuck about anything except the one she was getting as Ranma's cock plunged into her sopping wet womanhood, the impact of his pubic bone against her clit making her body shake almost as much as the thought that she was getting another hot load of cum fucked deep into her already jism-soaked pussy. The anticipation of same made her voice rise in a joyful shout as the pigtailed boy's cock pistoned inside her, spreading her walls further apart as he throbbed and hardened even more, the warm goo of his pre-release a now familiar and very welcome sensation for her as she squealed, "I feel it! You're getting harder! You're so close, Ranma! Keep going!"

In a moment, Ranma looked down at the exact moment Alex looked up. They locked eyes, and Ranma registered lust, adoration, and her honest desire to please him along with the naked anticipation of his release. In that moment, her joyful smile and warm eyes pushed him over the edge and he gave one last thrust, burying himself to the root with his tightened ballsack pressed against the smooth expanse of skin between her pussy and her ass as he roared, "I'm CUMMING!" And let his aching member fire its salvo into her body.

Alex cried out as she was impaled. Her breath caught in her throat as her walls clamped down on Ranma's cock, ready to receive his release. Then his length  **pulsed** , and a splash of heat and warmth burst deep inside her core, setting off a firestorm across her skin as rational Alex's neuron's clacked together and gave her a sexual epiphany.

She wasn't a virgin anymore.

Thanks to Ranma, Clover's boyfriend.

Who'd cheated on Clover with her.

By burying his hard cock inside her body.

And pumping thick wads of cum deep into her pussy.

This alone would have been enough to set Alex off, but the orgasmic shout had barely left her lips when a slight contraction of her walls was timed with a particularly forceful spurt from Ranma's prick. The welcoming squeeze and pressure caused another point-blank splatter against Alex's innergate, which made her voice rise in volume and pitch for a half-second before the second shot was fired.

Because before, Alex had been on top and in the throes of orgasm, which had thrown off Ranma's aim due to her body shuddering in ecstasy and kept his jism from hitting the true biological bulls-eye.

This time, when the Latina opened up in response to the hard knock on her door, her lover's seed eagerly accepted the invitation to her inner courtyard. Alex didn't realize Ranma had threaded the eye of the needle until her womb was invaded and her muscles seized in response. Being pinned down, helpless and unwilling to resist, Alex could only scream long and loud as her deepest point was flooded with warm goo and she came along with the boy who was draining his balls deep inside her body.

-0-

Bev High's janitor looked up as an unearthly moan swept past him. Crossing himself, he muttered a brief prayer against evil spirits before going back to his sweeping.

-0-

Dominique whimpered, her legs shaking with her fingers pistoning movements as she watched Ranma hips finish their involuntary twitching against Alex's nethers, making the Latina mewl, " _Oh…oh God…you're filling me…so good…I love it…"_

(Hope it was worth it, ya slut.) Dominique grinned maliciously as she watched Ranma bend over to kiss Alex once more, the snob's jealousy flaring at the passion he'd shown the deviant athlete. Paying absolutely no attention to her camcorder, which had been set off to the side just after Alex had pulled Ranma backwards so he could keep fucking her brains out, Dominique internally crowed (Cause after I show this video to Mandy; it's going on the net, and nobody's gonna see you as anything but a sock-puppet looking for any guy willing to fill your sleeve!)

It's almost a shame, really.

Or it would be for literally anyone else besides the selfish snob, as she was so distracted by diddling herself, she didn't notice a little red bug about half the size of a dime with pink heart-shaped spots on its shell land on her camcorder.

A moment later, the bug flew off, carrying the SD card for Dominique's electronic eye and leaving only her word as to the events of the evening.

-0-

Sam took several deep, steadying breaths as she brought her spy-bug back to her home, using the remote control and video feed display hidden in a somewhat cleverly disguised comb and hand held mirror to navigate its way across the city.

Sam was sitting on her bed, naked from the waist down as she realized her body was going to react instinctively to the show Alex and Ranma were putting on, even if she refused to go along with the demands of her hormones and stimulate herself physically. That lead to her stripping down, as she didn't want to explain a pair of soiled panties to her mother. Unfortunately, she underestimated just how arousing Alex and Ranma's little tryst would be and was now cursing the fact that she'd have clean her bedsheets ASAP and pray her mom didn't see the large wet spot on them. That would have to wait for a moment however, as Sam was busy debating whether or not she should swear like a sailor, diddle herself silly or simply scream in frustration regarding the wholly inconsistent and frankly baffling things she'd witnessed.

(I just can't freaking believe this.) Sam thought to herself as she tapped the controller, eyes narrowed while her mind was elsewhere. (He cheated on Clover, but only because  _Alex_  asked him to. He was in the girls locker room on a Sunday, the  _same_  day Alex happened to be there, then acts like he was terrified of her…)

Sam spared a glance for the pen and notepad she'd scribbled the names Ranma had given, with Kodachi being underlined while the other three had various letters scribbled out or added to make:

[Happ ~~y~~ -osigh=RS dad's master. Groper?]

[Ta ~~chi~~ -tewaki (check sp Alex): Kendo(?) thug?]

[Principal K ~~i~~ ^uno: Hair fetishist? (Bowlcut?! DEF Crim!) Koda/Tate = children?]

Recalling how Ranma's 'terrified' reaction had been to act like Alex had pulled a gun on him, Sam frowned at what she would have called an over-the-top acting display, if it wasn't for the fact that until Alex had all but begged him to stay, he made it as clear as possible that he wanted to get away from there as far and fast as humanly possible.

(He…was  _really_  scared of her…and Alex seemed to know why. Was that just her heat talking, or did something else happen before she finished practicing?) Sam amended as she recalled the bluntly honest moments from Ranma, including when Alex had been-

The redhead quickly shook her head clear of the memory of her friend humping the pig-tailed teen like her life depended on it and refocused on the job.

(And he just gives up the truth cause Alex called him out for lying? It's really  _that_  easy for a 'master criminal' to give up his 'dark past?) Sam frowned and focused her complete attention back to the TV screen as she came up with a plan of action. (First, get that bitch's card and hide it. Second, throw these sheets in the laundry and then get a shower and clear my head. After that, I'll go to Clover's with my tape-)

Sam thought about that for a moment. (Actually, I'll go with Dominique's tape, since she was spying on Alex longer and probably has more information on it that drive, but in either case; I'm going to break the news to Clover, and then we are going to have a  **very**  long talk with Alex.)

The redhead flushed as she recalled the wholly alien behavior from her friend, who'd been acting like an addict looking for a fix or, for lack of a more substantive term, like a bitch in heat. (She never gave us many details on her 'practice sessions', but I  **can't**  believe she'd get so horny that she'd jump the first guy she saw, especially when it's a possible bad guy! Nevermind somebody who Clover's dating!) Recalling Ranma's athletic form, Sam attempted with marginal success to not grow more aroused as she finished making her mental checklist.

(After our talk, we look up those names Ranma gave Alex and I look at what that nosy  _bitch_  recorded to see if she has anything on Ranma's 'sister'.) Her resolve set, Sam nodded to herself and said "One thing's for sure. Clover's going to hear about this, as soon as possible."

**-Omake-**

Finishing their passionate tonguing, Ranma pulled away from Alex with a smile and asked, "Did that help, Alex?"

" _Ooohhh yeeeaahh…"_  The Latina replied with a very satisfied sigh. "You weren't as deep as when I was on top, but I still got what I wanted." She gave a soft giggle as she glanced down at her twice stuffed womanhood, noting that Ranma's cock was finally pulling away from her. "I can't believe how  _good_  that felt…I think I could get addicted to this."

"I know what you mean," Ranma groaned as he pulled back, letting his finally softened manhood slip free of Alex's slit. "But we can't do this again or—"

Ranma paused, looking downwards as his dick had apparently been acting like a cork in a dam, holding back a flood within the Latina's depths. The mixture of their fluids streamed out from between her nether lips, down over her ass and onto the bench she was laying on. "Wow…that's crazy."

"What is it?" Alex cocked her head quizzically at Ranma's statement, noticing him staring at her sex. She sat up and looked down, but couldn't crane her neck far enough to see what he was looking at. Though she could guess what it was, as the formerly virgin girl felt the liquid warmth of her lover's cum leaving her body. Or at least, some of it.

"I'm trying to remember something." Ranma's brow furrowed thoughtfully, "A couple of guys I knew back home were always showing me these dirty magazines and I never paid attention to them…but I remember one which had a word for when guys don't pull out." The neuron's clacked as he remembered the porno's Hiroshi and Daisuke had brought to school and blushed brightly as the word came to him. "In english…I think it was…creampie."

Alex blushed even deeper red than he did. "Oh…is that what it really looks like?"

"Kinda?" Ranma laughed loudly, "Except there's no way I want to eat that! Yuck!"

Alex gaped at Ranma, outraged at his insult on the attractiveness of her 'kitty'. Something awoke inside her and almost without warning, her hand tightened around a wooden handle as she shouted, "You JERK!" before swinging what looked like a comically oversized wooden hammer into Ranma's face. The boy was launched away from her and into the wall of the shower they'd shared minutes ago, which shattered when his body smashed into it.

As the sound of groaning arose from the pile of rubble, Alex's glare softened into one of abject confusion and she glanced at the weapon now held in her hand, wondering where it and the thoroughly unfamiliar violent reaction came from.


	3. Sharing is like, Totally Awesome!

Alright, continuing the journey of re-uploading a newly tweaked version of this chapter on one of the sites I've put it on, and the new site that doesn't have an interface that makes me want to  **MAIMKILLBURN**.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma ½ or Totally Spies. If I did own the former, that poor mother-fucker Ranma would get SOMETHING resembling a break once in awhile, and several characters from the Ranma-verse would be forced to look in a mirror and take a long tall drink out of a Shut-The-Fu-Cup.

* * *

 

How I Learned to Love the Wild Horse    
Chapter 3: **Sharing is, like,** **_Totally_ ** **Awesome!**

00000

Ranma stood, his back against the wall, waiting for the end to come.

But it wouldn’t.  The minutes dragged on and he wanted to tear his hair out in frustration, wondering why there had to be such a build-up over something so deceptively simple.

It wouldn’t take much.  Just a few words, and he’d be gone.  Like he’d never existed in the first place.

The pigtailed boy grumbled, checking his cellphone to make sure he wouldn’t be late for class, not that he needed to since it’d only been 15 minutes since other students had started wandering towards the front doors.

Standing just outside Bev High, Ranma watched as the crowd of students swelled in the early Monday morning light.  Most gave him only a passing glance before going on their way, though a few stopped and followed his gaze, obviously wondering what was making the new transfer student look like he was waiting for the rider on a pale horse.  Then he stiffened, closed his eyes and gave a soft groan before stepping forward, ready to face his end.

Ranma had seen her blonde hair almost immediately, standing out from the crowd due to her signature hairstyle and he braced himself for impacts both literal and metaphorical as he approached her.  Yes, there was the promise he’d made to Alex the day before, but he’d more than learned his lesson with P-chan, where keeping his word had been the more dishonorable of the two options. And this time, he was going to make sure a very important relationship was safeguarded, even if it wasn’t his.

“Clover?” Ranma called out, raising his hand to catch the blonde’s attention.  Soon enough, the blue-eyed fashionista he’d betrayed the day before was in front of him, one eyebrow cocked quizzically and a half-smile playing on her lips.

“Hey, Ron.  Like, what’re you doing out here?  Normally you’re in your seat—”

“Clover,” Ranma interrupted her quickly, his eyes downcast and tone miserable as he said softly, “I cheated on you.”

Staring at the sneakers he’d bought in an attempt to not stand out too much in America, he tried to keep his voice level as he went through the speech he rehearsed last night, to make sure all her outrage was on him and thusly protect their mutual acquaintance.  At cost of burning the bridge he’d formed with the pretty, sexually aggressive, and intelligent girl he’d grown fond of. “I’d like to say it was an accident, but I can’t…it was with some girl who found me at the wrong time and the wrong place, and I don’t want to say I’m sorry, ‘cause I don’t deserve your forgiveness.” A tremble managed to escape his emotional confines, which Ranma tried to cover by lowering his volume even further as he murmured apologetically, “ _Deimo_ …I **am** sorry…Clover-chan.”

Silence reigned for a few moments, and Ranma’s eyes tightened when he heard Clover coldly demand, “Ranma, look at me.” Raising his head in compliance of her request, Ranma saw her cerulean eyes flashing with an even greater fury than on Friday night, when she’d taken his chaste status as some kind of cruel punishment.  It was absolutely no shock to him when she hauled back and he shut his eyes, letting the burst of pain and sharp clap of her slapping him full across the face come, as it was what he’d earned by his actions yesterday.

He winced slightly as the old familiar ache came to him, along with the equally familiar sound of shocked whispers from surrounding gawkers, already forming theories to what had happened.  Unlike home however, now there was a very good reason for his punishment and he didn’t have the energy or will to deny any half-baked ideas the local gossips would come up with, for all the good that would do.

Opening his eyes slowly, Ranma looked at the girl he’d hurt worse than any other who claimed to have been wronged by him, whether their grievance was legitimate or not.  Unable to meet her angry, wounded gaze, Ranma looked down and waited for the next shoe to drop.

-Last Night-

Samantha took a breath to steady herself as she approached Clover’s front door.  It’d been a few hours since she’d gotten Dominique’s SD card and copied homemade porno that Mandy’s lackey had made of Alex and Ranma Saotome in the school locker room.  After she’d done that, Sam had taken a shower and blown off some steam, somehow managing not to think too much about the erotic rendezvous she’d witnessed between her friend and the _‘super-villain’_ while double-clicking her mouse.

But, that didn’t stop the images of Ranma and Alex’s primary moment of ‘not-cheating’ from leaping to the front of Samantha’s mind when she climaxed.  Despite herself, the redhead found her pleasure intensified from the crystal clear image of Ranma’s orgasmic expression, toned body, and throbbing length as strings of pearly white fluid leapt out and splattered against Alex’s backside and nethers.  Once her fingers stopped shaking however, Sam quickly reassured herself that she could handle the same lust which had obviously robbed her friends of their higher brain functions regarding the pigtailed boy.

(It’s totally fine,) Sam silently repeated for what was the fifth time, frowning slightly as she reached her destination and rang the doorbell, then checked again to make sure that the snobby gossip’s memory card was in her pocket. (He’s a cheater…basically, and definitely dangerous, even if it might be from having a couple of weird _associates_ who’re probably his rivals or henchmen—)

“Sammy!”

Samantha jerked in surprise and turned around, her eyes widening at the sight of Alex running up to her, dressed and for all the world _not_ looking like a girl who’d lost her virginity only a little while ago.  As the latina reached her, Alex asked “What’re you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question,” Sam replied evasively. “I thought you were on campus.  You know, ‘soccer practice’?”

Alex, had she been in a proper state of mind, would have caught the accusing and suspicious tone in Samantha’s voice and figured that the redhead knew something she shouldn’t.

Had nothing outside the norm occurred today, Alex would have, at the very least, flushed beet-red and become flustered from her bestie bringing up her secret self-love sessions.

Instead, the dark-haired girl’s lip quivered and she went teary-eyed, making the redhead’s jaw drop as Alex moaned, “S-Sammy…I did something really _baaaadddd_.”

(Sh—She’s here to confess!?!) Sam internally gawped as she tried to wrap her head around the fact that Alex came straight here after ‘coming’ in a _completely_ different way less than an hour ago.

Before she could reconcile her friend’s presence, the door behind her opened and Clover smiled at the sight of her two besties. “Hey guys.  What’re you—”

Clover blinked as she took in the sight of Samantha and Alex, the former of whom was gaping at the latter like she’d seen a UFO, while Alex looked to be almost on the verge of tears.  When the latina noticed her presence, she started sniffling and said, “C-Clover…I, I didn’t mean to, it just happened, and I couldn’t…”

Alex’s voice lost coherence as she started to bawl loudly and lunged forward, shocking Clover as the dark haired girl dropped to her knees and hugged the blonde’s thighs while crying out, “I’m _soooowwwrrrryyyy_ !!!  I’m **so** sorry, Clover!!!”

While one girl waved her arms in an attempt to keep her balance and the other blubbered apologetically, Samantha’s mental state finished it’s reboot with the simple thought of, (Well…this saves me some time I guess…) as Clover shouted for Alex to calm down and explain what was going on.

00000

Alex kneeled on the floor of Clover’s room, sniffling with her feet tucked under her butt while Clover sat in front of her.  The blonde’s eyes were wide, her face the kind of slack, expressionless mask that comes from having a hot spike of outrage needing to dig its way through layers of disbelief as she said in a carefully emotionless voice, “You…had sex…with Ranma.”

“I’m…I’m _sorry…_ ” Alex whimpered.

“You fucked.  My boyfriend.” Clover went on, while Sam sat on the edge of Clover’s bed, lips pursed in annoyance from having to wait until Alex had finished her confession and trying very hard not to think about what kind of wild ‘kissing’ the blonde had done with the aforementioned boyfriend on the very bed she was sitting on.

“I…couldn’t help it,” Alex gave a particularly loud sniff, even as she recalled the loss of her chastity with no small amount of elation. “I got done playing soccer…and it was a really _long_ practice, so my heart was beating like crazy and you’ve seen how hot I get—”

“And you saw Ranma… _my_ boyfriend…in the locker room…and **fucked** him?”

Clover’s eye started to twitch as that bunker buster of anger worked its way closer to its target, while Alex screwed her eyes shut and she sobbed, “I…I wanted to stop myself!  But he looked so _good_ and he was so **hard**!  I—I just kept making excuses so he wouldn’t leave, and I even told him why I was there and he was so nice even after I tricked him into cheating on you, and I just—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Sam waved her hands, her confusion somewhat genuine even though she was playing the role of, _‘no-I-_ **_totally-_ ** _have-no-idea-what’s-going-on-here’_ to the hilt.  Wondering where Alex was getting this twist from, which was a sentiment that was apparently shared by Clover as the blonde’s eyebrows knitted together in curiosity though her twitching eye had yet to abate, the redhead asked, “You _tricked_ him?  How?”

Alex looked sorrowfully at Samantha, whose heart melted a little as the formerly most innocent of the 3 girls choked out, “I told him…that we could help each other, since we are… _were_ both virgins.” The latina lowered her eyes, letting her tears fall onto her jeans as she moaned, “I asked him if we could just watch each other, but then I told him he should put his… _thing_ in me before we did, and if it was just once and he didn’t move…it wouldn’t be cheating…and I was _wrong_ …”

Clover’s eye spasm lessened somewhat, as she was also intimately familiar with sculpted marble statue that was Ranma Saotome and understood the, _‘MUST FUCK_ **_NOW_ ** _!!!’_ impulse coming from such a vision.  But she was still working her way up to furious and spoke in a voice of forced calm, “Alex…I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and say you weren’t **trying** to get him to fuck you by playing a loophole—”

“I wasn’t!” Alex affirmed desperately, meeting Clover’s eyes with a scared and sincere expression. “I wasn’t trying to make him cheat!  Not for _real_!  I really thought it made sense!  But when he pulled out, all I could think about was how awesome it felt and it only made me feel even hotter, and I just kept making excuses so we could could go further until…until we…”

The latina struggled for a moment, then bent forward, putting her hands flat on Clover’s floor and her nose almost touching the blonde’s carpet as she gave a slightly muffled sob. “Please…please don’t hate me, Clover…you and Sammy are my best friends, and I’m sorry I made Ranma cheat on you-hoo-hoo-hoooooo.”

Despite Clover’s outrage, Alex’s plea for forgiveness did not fall on deaf ears, but the blonde did grit her teeth and bite back several harsh words before taking a very deep breath and saying, “Alex…you know this hurts a lot, right?”

“I know…” the latina whimpered.

“And it’s going to take a lot for me to forgive you.”

Alex whimpered and nodded.

“But…I’m willing to give you a chance if you answer a few questions.”

Samantha blinked and looked at Clover, who seemed to be maintaining a composed and respectable air, which made the redhead’s internal bullshit radar scream while Alex replied tremulously, “Yes, Clover.  What do you want to know?”

“How was it?”

Sam’s jaw dropped as Alex fell silent for a moment, then asked hesitantly, “Umm…s’cuse me?”

“With Ranma.  How was he?”

Slowly, Alex raised her head off of the floor, tears drying and completely confused as she looked at Clover, and saw the same thing which had Sam looking at their mutual bestie in a mix of shock and appall.  The valley girl’s blue eyes were gleaming slightly as she gave the freshly deflowered latina a wide, wicked grin as she said chipperly, “Alex, no matter who it was with, you still just lost your cherry—well,” Clover amended after a second to think. “Actually you lost that during our martial arts training at WOOHP.”

Alex winced at the painful memory of a mistimed snap kick that she’d thought had cause some kind of internal injury, her cheeks reddening while Clover went on with her cheerful attempt to repair their damaged bridge with a bit of girl talk. “But seriously, congratulations!  Like, welcome to the sisterhood!” Leaning forward, Clover grinned at the blushing latina and took a bit of _schadenfreude_ in making Alex a _little_ uncomfortable as she asked, “So, what was it like?  Did he go down on you first, or did he—”

“Are you freaking KIDDING me!?!”

Sam’s disbelieving shout surprised Clover and Alex, and both turned to the redhead who was gaping at the pair of them in a kind of horrified shock. “You’re asking her about his _performance!?_  She just said he **cheated** on you and you’re brushing it off!?!”

Clover scowled at Samantha while Alex lowered her eyes, the latter flushing several deepening shades of red as the former replied, “Sammy, I want to know how Alex’s first time went, whether or not it was with…”

The blonde paused for a moment.  Then her head tilted sharply, bringing a loud crack from her neck that made Alex gulp nervously at the clear sign that Clover hadn’t quite buried the whole hatchet, even as Clover continued to justify her reaction.

“A guy I dated.  And besides,” Clover gave the redhead a smug, knowing look. “You’re gonna honestly tell me you’re not a little curious about our little Alex’s coming-of-age?”

Samantha’s response to Clover’s rhetorical question was to sigh heavily, which the blonde took as an acceptance of her reasoning, until the redhead answered, “Actually, I’m not curious at all, Clover, because I know exactly what happened.”

Alex and Clover both blinked in confusion, and the latina asked quizzically, “Sammy…how would you know that?”

(Well, here goes nothing.) Sam mused grimly before saying aloud, “Because I was worried about you and used a spybug to see if you were really okay on your own.”  Somehow, the most responsible of the 3 spies managed to keep from wilting under the looks of wide-eyed shock and betrayal she was getting from her two best friends as she went on, “By the time it got there, you were heading inside and I _would_ have left it outside to make sure nobody went in after you, but it was a little too late for that.”

Alex’s lip was starting to curl in fury as she glared at the redhead and growled, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Because you were already being followed by _Dominique,_ ” Samantha spat the name like it left a bad taste in her mouth.  Noting horrified and outraged expressions on Clover and Alex’s faces, she added, “And she had a camera with her.  I didn’t know what she was doing, but I followed after her and we both ended up seeing you and Ranma.”

“That **_bitch!!!_** ” Clover roared as she leapt to her feet, eyes blazing furiously. “Mandy sent her hench-bitch out to spy on Alex just to get back at me!?!  That spoiled brat’s gone too far this time!”

“She watched me!?” Alex shrieked, her expression turning primal as her fury grew. “She recorded me and Ranma—” Suddenly, her anger disappeared as she turned pale and whispered in horror, “Oh…oh no, if she recorded me and Ranma, then Mandy’s going to know and—”

“Don’t worry Alex,” Sam reassured her suddenly panicky friend as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a micro-SD card. “She doesn’t have the recording.  I stole—”

In a blur of motion, Sam’s hand was empty and she had a second to blink before realized that Clover had taken possession of the memory card that the redhead had pilfered from the amateur paparazzi earlier.  Holding the fingernail sized chip between her fingers, less than an inch from her nose, a smile began to form on the blonde’s face. As it spread wider, Sam and Alex watched Clover with mutual looks of nervous trepidation, expecting their to start cackling maniacally at any second.  When her smile had reached full Glasgow level, Clover met Samantha’s eyes and chirped, “Sammy, I love you.” Before bolting from the floor and to her desk, giggling madly as she slid the card into a slot in her laptop.

“Clover, _no!_ ” Alex cried out as the bestie she’d betrayed picked up her portable computer and then jumped back onto the bed, making Samantha bounce slightly while Clover opened up the folder for the memory card. “You can’t!”

“Alex, you said you’d answer any questions I had, remember?” Clover grinned cheekily as she pulled up the video. “Would you rather give me all the juicy details yourself?  Or like, just let some pictures say a thousand words for you? Besides,” the blonde amended while side-eyeing Samantha with a smirk. “Sammy’s already seen it, so why should I be the only one left out of the loop?”

Samantha winced while Alex shot the redhead a narrow-eyed look at the reminder that there’d been two voyeurs to her deflowering. “Hey, I didn’t watch _Dominique’s_ movie,” Sam admitted while scratching the back of her neck nervously. “So, I don’t know what’s on there either.”

“Probably the same thing you saw live,” Clover said happily as she gave the latina a wink. “Come on, aren’t you curious to see how it looks from the other side?”

“No!” Alex denied furiously, though little spot in her abdomen warmed up at the thought of watching herself, and she couldn’t help but wonder what it would look like from an outsider's perspective as Clover dispensed with the ceremony and played the movie.

All three spies blinked as they were treated to the image of some ground and shadows, broken evenly by something above the camera in what was clearly the mid-afternoon sun.  Clover’s confused, “The heck?” was answered by the sound of two laughing voices and the image spun around to show Alex and Ranko approaching the bleachers that Dominique had apparently been hiding under.  Alex’s jaw dropped as Sam and Clover’s eyes widened in recognition, with the latter exclaiming, “Wait a minute! Isn’t that the girl from—"

“Her name’s Ranko,” Alex growled darkly, which earned her a surprised look from Sam and Clover as she went on,  “She saw me and wanted to talk to me about Ranma, because she was worried about her older brother.”

“Older brother?!”

“ _Worried_ about him?”

Alex nodded in affirmation of both Sam’s shocked gasp and Clover’s narrow-eyed glare. “Because she didn’t want any jealous ex-boyfriends of yours to come around and make trouble.”

Clover opened her mouth, then closed it again, thinking on what she’d heard from Ranma on his own experiences with jealous significant others.  With a nod, the blonde admitted, “Okay, that’s valid.” As Alex and Ranko took their seats and rested up following their game.

“So she just _randomly_ found you, and knew you were a friend of Clover, and started asking you about Clover’s past?” Sam muttered, fixing what she could see of the pigtailed redhead with a suspicious look.

“Ranma was talking her ear off about his date,” Alex scowled at Samantha, which surprised the redhead as her friend _rarely_ had moods as bad as what she was displaying now. “And Sammy, I’d be more worried about Ranma and Ranko’s past right now.”

Clover and Sam both shared worried looks at that, with the former asking warily, “Alex?  What do you mean by that?”

“You’ll see in a second.” Alex said grimly as she returned her attention to the screen, while a small part of her worried what would happen when her new friend found out that her older brother had been unfaithful to his new girlfriend, and Alex been the one to drag him into the mire of infidelity.

00000

The three girls were sitting on Clover’s bed, legs crossed and watching Dominique’s ill-gotten spy video.  The owner of the bed was front-and-center, since the laptop being used for storytime was also hers, while Samantha sat on her right and Alex on her left.  The latter’s expression was dark while Clover sniffled and the former rubbed the bridge of her nose, the redhead’s eyes screwed shut as she murmured in quiet exasperation, “He engaged…his son…for food.”

“How could this Akane girl _hate_ him like that?” Clover whimpered, nearly bawling as the little sister to her latest crush/stolen conquest left the camera’s field of vision. “How could she hate _Ranko!?_  Just because she walked in on Ranma naked?!”

“Along with being engaged to a guy she didn’t know,” Alex snarled as she watched herself from several hours ago stand up and head for the locker room, with the camera shaking as the nosy snob she’d _dearly_ wished she’d seen earlier followed behind. “But _never_ realized that Ranma was in the exact same situation as her.”

“And her dad _never_ saw an issue with his friend making who-knows- _how_ -many similar engagements everywhere he went?” Samantha rubbed the heel of her palm against her forehead and groaned as she felt the beginnings of a headache forming. “Especially when that friend’s entire lifestyle revolves around dirty tricks?”

“And he’d shove the blame on Ranma!?” Clover turned and gave Samantha a heartbroken look as she proclaimed, “See, Sammy?!  Ranma isn’t here to be a bad guy! He’s trying to get away from Japan so he doesn’t end up like his dad!”

“That’s…a possibility I’m willing to consider now,” Sam admitted evasively, ignoring the hopefully giddy and surprised expressions on her friend’s faces while she mused internally.

(Those were real tears, but Ranko screwed up a few times,) The redhead thought, her eyes narrowing while she ignored the video, since it was coming up to the part she already knew about and thus let her mind chew through the new information she’d gotten. ( _‘getting to know_ me _better_ _'_?   _‘How much she hated_ me’?  I think Ranma’s sister is a lesbian and liked this Akane girl herself.) Thinking on how alternative lifestyles weren't generally accepted in the more traditional areas of Japan, Sam winced sympathetically for the girl who’d been blubbering in her friend’s arms. (If Akane was in a family that was so ass-backwards that they still used arranged marriages, she probably didn’t like having another girl crushing on her.)

Samantha was brought out of her musing by Clover, who called out, “Woo-hoo! Go girl, go!” and returned to current events.  Seeing that the past version of Alex was stripping down for a shower and schlick session that would turn into a wanton tryst with a runaway from Japan, while the current version was staring at her past self with burning cheeks, the redhead glared pointedly at Clover.

“Clover,” Sam said in a calm and stern voice. “You said you wanted to know what happened, and if you keep being loud, you’re not going to hear anything.”

The not-too-subtle hint to stop embarrassing their bestie was quickly caught by the blonde, who winced and replied, “Gotcha Sammy…” With an annoyed look while Alex mouthed, _‘thank you’_ behind Clover’s back.  Sam met Alex’s grateful look with a smile before both turned their attention to the laptop again.

00000

_“God fucking dammit,_ **_really!?_ ** _”_

Clover and Sam looked at the blushing latina, eyes wide as the former offered simply, “Wow…I didn't even think you knew those words…”

“I was frustrated…”

00000

Clover burst out laughing at the panic stricken look on Ranma’s face when he saw Alex watching him, shortly before letting out a yipe and landing on his butt. “Hahahaha!  Like, how could he not realize you were standing there _ogling_ him!?”

“I still don’t get why he freaked out like that,” Alex murmured to herself, looking back on the familiar scene from an outsider’s perspective with eyes unclouded by raw lust.

Samantha, having slightly quicker wits than her friends, explained in a low tone, “Remember what Ranko said about the _last_ time a girl walked in on him when they were both naked?”

Clover and Alex’s moods flipped immediately, the blonde intoning, “Oh… _yeah_ ,” with obvious disgust while Alex growled low in her throat, seeing the terror in her first lover’s eyes with new understanding and sympathy.

00000

“How the hell did Dominique _get_ these shots?” Clover’s admiring tone earned her a glare from Alex as her past self reached for Ranma’s soap.  When the blonde let out a wolf-whistle as her friend went into a pornstar worthy pose, Alex’s eyes narrowed further, only to have her irritation breaking off when she heard the sound of her own voice moaning in release.

Clover’s jaw dropped as Dominique zoomed in, the camera focusing on Alex’s picture-perfect O-face and shining thighs while her arms shook in an effort to keep from falling down. “Holy _crap_ …Alex, did you cum just from bending over?!” the blonde gasped in amazement.

“Y—Yeah…”

Alex’s admission earned her shocked looks from Clover and Sam, the latter of whom offered, “Wow…you really weren't kidding about your heats being intense, were you?”

Alex lowered her eyes and moaned in embarrassment.

00000

There was an indecent whine from both Clover and Dominique as the video shook slightly, but still managed to catch every moment of Ranma’s twitching shaft coating Alex’s ass with his jizz. “Oh my God, that’s so fucking _hot!_ ”

“Clover!” Alex covered her face in both hands, completely mortified to hear herself shrieking in release, knowing that there were several more scenes of indecent behavior to come.

00000

_“Not if you don’t move…”_ Alex’s aroused voice echoed as she looked at the hesitant and _obviously_ turned on pigtailed boy with affectionate desire. _“But if I’m the one who’s moving, then it’s not cheating…is it?”_

“Please don’t tell me he really fell for that?” Clover looked at Alex incredulously, while the latina was covering her glowing face with both hands. “I mean, he’s not the brightest but—"

“ _If…you don’t agree, that’s fine,”_ Alex’s quiet murmur brought Clover’s attention back to the show as her friend looked away from the boy she’d just ‘not cheated’ with. _“I just wanted you…to help me a little more.”_

As soon as Clover heard those words, she knew what would be coming next, besides her bestie and boyfriend.  Seeing the steely, determined glint in Ranma’s eye, Clover whimpered as her heart melted a little while her beau gave Alex a sincere, helpful smile and replied, _“Alex, if it makes you feel better, I’ll give you as much help as you need.”_

While past-Alex started sucking face with Ranma, Clover sniffled and wiped away a tear. “Only he would cheat with someone, just to help them out…that stupid, _sweet_ man…”

Sam grumbled, though that was mostly because she was trying not to focus on how moved she had been by Ranma’s honest desire to help her friend, shortly before letting Alex mount him.

00000

_“You’re there!  You’re cumming, Ranma!  Oh God, cum in me, Ranma!  Cum in my pussy!!_ CUM IN ME!!! _”_

Clover bit her lip and moaned, “Oh my God!” as her boyfriend gave a familiar shout at the same time her bestie let out an ear-splitting scream of release.  Any anger or outrage she might have felt from watching her man blow his load inside a girl who wasn’t her had vanished due to the eroticism of witnessing same, and the blonde rubbed her chest as she asked huskily, “This is so hot…can I keep a copy?”

“No!”  
“No!”

Alex and Sam’s vehement denial of Clover’s plea was met with a teary-eyed sniff as she moaned in disappointment, “You guys are like, _totally_ no fun…”

00000

The camcorder moved away from Alex and Ranma as the latina slowly laid on her back, and Sam reached out to turn off the computer, prompting Clover to frown at the redhead and yell, “Hey!  I was watching that!”

“Yeah,” Sam affirmed dryly. “And it was done.  Besides,” the redhead gave Clover a meaningful look. “I think you need to change your underwear.”

“That can wait for a minute!” Clover snapped. “And what do you mean, it was done!?”

“What I mean is, Dominique didn't pick up the camera again and that's when I swiped the memory card,” Sam explained as she popped the aforementioned card out of Clover’s laptop.  Pinching it between thumb and forefinger, the redhead muttered, “I’m really debating whether I should scrub the data and put the card back, or scrub it and throw it in the trash.”

“Trash it,” Alex spat immediately, completely furious with the commentary she’d heard from Dominique while Mandy’s lackey had been taping her. “Make her buy a new one if she wants to peep on me again.”

Catching their friends soured mood, Clover and Sam were pulled from their own musings and the blonde wrapped a comforting arm around her friend’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Alex; we’ll handle it.”

“How?” The latina’s lip quivered as she turned to look at Clover, the shame and embarrassment at being discovered returning as she started babbling. “She’s gonna tell Mandy, and then _everybody’s_ gonna know and my life will be _ruined_ and—”

“Alex, honey, everything will be _fine_ ,” Clover smiled reassuringly. “It’s not gonna get that far, especially because it’s just Dominique’s word alone, and you’ve got too much of a rep as a good girl to do anything like what she’s going to be lying about.”

“B-but, she won’t be lying!” Alex whimpered tearfully. “It’s going to be true, and—”

“No it won’t, Alex.” Sam gave Alex a confident grin. “Mandy and her tramp squad _always_ go overboard with their rumors, and the ‘truth’ is already pretty unbelievable for a cinnamon roll like you.”

While feeling a little better, Alex still looked unsure, until Clover piped up, “And besides, there’s always plan D, which is guaranteed to make Mandy keep her trap shut.”

Sam and Alex both blinked quizzically at their maniacally grinning friend, prompting the latina to ask, “What’s plan D?”

“You’ll find out when it happens,” Clover giggled.

“Well, whatever your plan is,” Sam looked meaningfully at her friends as she stated, “I’m going to look up some of those names Ranma gave you online and check on them.  High-profile people like he’s talking about are guaranteed to be in some kind of news. Especially if they’re as crazy as he’s letting on.”

“No kidding,” Clover nodded in agreement before adopting a 1000-yard stare and intoning in quiet horror, “All girls with bowl-cuts…”

“And all boy’s shaved bald…” Alex added with a similar expression.

Letting that horror permeate the air for a moment, the 3 spies shuddered in unison, before Alex looked at Clover plaintively and asked, “Clover…are you gonna break up with Ranma?”

Clover gave her nervous, sorrowful friend a surprised look, before her eyes softened and she gently ruffled the latina’s hair. “I’m upset…but I’m not gonna dump him, Alex.”

The dark-haired girl sighed with relief.

“And even if I did, then he’d be open for you to fuck him again!”

Sam and Alex groaned and facepalmed at Clover’s wicked grin and delighted laugh.

-The Present-

“How could you?” Clover said angrily, every word she said coated in emotional pain that made Ranma wince guiltily. “I trusted you, and then you pull something like this?”

“Clover-chan…” Ranma murmured, feeling his heart break almost as much as it had the day he’d accepted that Akane had never thought of him as anything more than a freak. “I…I’m sorry.”

“You _promised_ Alex that you wouldn’t lie to me!” The blonde snapped furiously. “You _swore_ up-and-down that you wouldn’t make up something about screwing a stranger, and now—"

Ranma’s eyes popped open and his head snapped up, blurting out, _“Nani!?”_ As he gaped at his upset girlfriend. “Clover?!  What’re you talking about!?”

“Alex came to my house last night and told me what happened,” Clover explained, keeping her voice low while the people who’d temporarily found an interest in the early morning drama went about their business, having better things to do than focus the entirety of their lives around a pigtailed teen and his significant other. “You told her you would tell me the truth,” Clover sniffled dramatically and a tear ran down her cheek. “But you still lied, Ranma.”

Understanding came to Ranma and he groaned as he realized that she’d been stewing in anger since last night, probably thinking of all the ways she could dump him, and here he was, poking an already irritated bear with a stick.  His eyes lowering, Ranma turned and made to walk away from Clover, saying dejectedly, “ _Gomen nasai_ , Clover-chan.  I—"

A martial artist’s instincts, in a lot of cases, are built around protecting yourself from hostile attack.

Early in their training, a key bit of programming is to recognize when to use the art, and when not to.  This can take quite some time, and it was something of a good point that Ranma had been in the middle of nowhere during his formative years, as kindergartners accidentally tossing their classmates around like tennis balls while roughhousing isn’t the kind of thing that should be advertised…especially when the little hellion’s _sensei_ is a man with many reasons to keep his head down.

Eventually, the instincts are honed so that a martial artist can shake-hands, high five or fist-bump without causing a visit to the emergency room for his friends and family, as they are trained to recognize hostile movements and intent.  Of course, for a certain martial artist from Nerima, an extra layer of control was added that made it all but impossible for him to use most of his techniques against even hostile targets, provided they were female.

Both these stipulations came into play when Clover grabbed his wrist and pulled him back before he’d taken a half-step.  Rather than escape in one of the literally dozens of ways he could have, Ranma was spun around and caught a glimpse of gleaming cerulean shortly before hearing a low growl and finding himself pulled into a fierce kiss with Clover.  His eyes widened as he heard catcalls and laughter from surrounding students while his mouth was being violated by the blonde’s probing tongue, and her hand gripped the back of his head to prevent him from breaking their lip lock before she was _damn_ good and ready to let him go.

Eventually, he was allowed to come up for air as Clover pulled back just enough for him to see her affectionate smile and warm eyes while she purred, “Ranma, if it wasn’t for the fact that we’d get in _so_ much trouble, I’d totally fuck you right now.”

Ranma’s fish-eyed blinking lasted for several moments, which made Clover giggle softly before he finally asked, “Clover-chan…what the hell was that?”

“The slap was for lying to Alex and me,” Clover informed him without losing her happy smile. “But that kiss is because I know _why_ you did it.” Leaning in, Clover gave his upper lip a quick nibble that brought some wolf whistles, scandalized gasps and a few jealous looks before whispering, “No more excuses about that Kodachi bitch, okay?”

Ranma nodded dumbly and Clover pulled away from him as she chirped, “Great!  See you in class, Ron!” before heading inside. The pigtailed boy stood rooted to the spot for quite awhile, dimly running the events of the last 5 minutes through his head before settling on one poignant truth.

(Whether it’s here or Nerima…I don’t understand women at all…)

00000

“It was just adorable, Sammy.” Clover chortled while adjusting the flame on the bunsen burner for their lab experiment. “He was ready to fall on his sword and let me think he went and shagged some tramp, just so I wouldn’t be mad at—”

“Clover!” Alex whispered, looking around nervously while keeping an eye on the beakers they’d been given as she whispered, “Keep your voice down!”

“Yes.   _Please_ keep it down,” Sam groaned wearily, staring at the science textbook with unseeing eyes, her head drooping lamely.

Clover and Alex both cast worried looks at their friend, who had dark circles under her eyes and frankly looked like hell warmed over. “Sammy?  Are you okay?” Alex asked as she waved her hand in front of the redhead’s eyes.

Sam turned to Alex and groaned tiredly, “Yeah…I’m _fantastic_.” Before leaning back in her seat and rubbing her eyes as she added, “Except I found nothing from those names he gave you.”

“N—Nothing?” Alex stammered in surprise, recalling how vehemently Ranma had decried the individuals that she’d accidentally associated herself with yesterday. “Are you sure?”

“Sammy,” Clover narrowed her eyes at the redhead and growled, “I swear, if you’re gonna tell me that Ranma was lying again, I’ll—”

“No, no he wasn’t lying, near as I can tell,” Sam admitted with a faint scowl at the blond who was giving her the stink-eye. “I _know_ that Kodachi Kuno exists, and so does Tatewaki Kuno, but that’s as far as I get before I lose what little I’m able to find.”

Clover’s irritation faded as gave the redhead a confused look and asked, “Lose it?  Like, where do you lose it?”

“The moment I go onto any Japan based site or server, the connection gets lost or rerouted somewhere else or god-only-knows-what!” Sam growled like a wounded beast, clearly frustrated with the fruitlessness of her efforts. “There’s no way in hell that every Japanese server glitches out like that, and I thought my computer had a virus!  I spent most of the night putting it through scans and reboots trying to figure out what was wrong—”

“Oh, a _virus_ you say?” A high, nasally voice came from behind Sam, laughing mockingly. “You should ask your two friends about viruses!  Lord knows how many they might’ve picked up from working the corner!”

At the sound of the unfortunately all-too-familiar voice of Mandy, the three girls turned around to see the snobby teen queen herself smirking at them, flanked by her two partners-in-crime.  Scowls flashed across the faces of the spies for a moment before Clover returned Mandy’s smug grin and cheerifly said, “Oh, _hi_ Mandy!  I almost didn’t see you standing there, what with how pale and thin you’re looking.” Adopting a fake concerned expression, the blonde asked, “What’s the matter? Didn’t get enough to eat at _Bocca Felice?_ ”

Eyes narrowing at being reminded of her _totally_ unjustified banning from one of the nicest Italian restaurants in town, Mandy shot back, “I got _more_ than enough, what with having to keep my _svelte_ figure!  Because unlike some people here,” she grinned maliciously at Alex. “I’m not eating for _two_.”

Alex paled while Clover and Sam’s jaws dropped in unison before the blonde rounded on Mandy and spat, “Oh my God, that is a _new_ low, even for _you!_ ”

“Really?” Mandy said loudly while acting for all the world like she was having a casual conversation. “I’m surprised you’re defending her, since it was _your_ boyfriend little miss sweet-and-innocent banged yesterday!” Hearing a few whispers from several of the closer tables behind her, Mandy grinned wickedly without taking her eyes away from her most despised foes as she continued, “Like, I knew you had low standards, but letting your new ‘stud’ knock up the ‘creampie queen’ here?” She gestured to Alex, who was now flushing completely crimson. “Your taste in boys is even worse than your fashion sense.”

Clover’s eye twitched for a moment and she contemplated slapping the hell out of the brat, but she had planned and predicted Mandy’s response to the information that Dominique had passed along.  After a few moments, she instituted her counter-offensive and started chuckling. This successfully caught the bitch trio off guard, as well as Alex and Sam, who stared at the laughing blonde for a few moments.  Then her besties’ jaws dropped as Clover calmed down and smiled before holding out a hand. “Care to share the pics?”

“W—What?!” Mandy blurted in shock, her face white along with Dominique, both of them thinking that Clover knew about their tape. “What pics?!”

“You know, the pictures you took of Alex and Ron _supposedly_ knocking boots?” Clover explained cheerily. “Because if you think I'm taking _your_ word for something without any evidence, then you’re like, _totally_ crazy.” Her eyes narrowed slightly and the smile became just a little forced as she demanded, “So.  Pics; or it didn't happen.”

Sam and Alex smiled at Clover, realizing that her calling out Mandy’s ‘bluff’ had rattled the snob, and those watching who were even a little familiar with the two girls would remember the huge difference in integrity between them, and those who had no idea who Mandy and Alex were would only see the former acting very suspiciously at being asked for proof.  Not realizing that it was almost certainly too late to salvage her attempt to sully the latina’s stellar reputation, Mandy changed tactics and sneered, “So, you don’t think Alex would screw your boyfriend behind your back? Then where were they on Sunday?”

“Uh, unlike _some_ jealous psychos I can name, I don’t make my boyfriends wear ankle bracelets.” The blonde snarked with a smug grin. “Mostly cause I’m not a massive tease who’ll drain a guy’s wallet and then blue-ball him.”

The snob flushed at that and snarled, “Soyou believe your _tramp_ friend because you’re an unapologetic slut!?”

“Nope.  I believe Alex because she’s my friend, while you are a heinous bitch who only lives to make people miserable.”  Before Mandy could continue their verbal duel, Clover leaned in and said in a low voice, “Plus, they already said they were sorry, and I forgave them.”

Mandy’s jaw dropped along with her two cohorts as she sputtered, “W—What!?!”

“Yeah, turns out there’s advantages to having a _‘dumbass white knight’_ for a boyfriend.” Clover followed up that statement by giving Dominique a furious look, who paled while Mandy’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.  After letting that sink in for a beat, the blonde continued to speak to the leader of the three snobs. “So, before you send your crony to _stalk_ my bestie again just because you couldn’t handle being complemented by somebody, ask yourself if payback is worth being _expelled_.”

Not for the first time, Clover had thoroughly trumped Mandy’s ace, though for what might have been the first time, the nasally brat was at a loss for words.  Unfortunately, the moment of blissful silence was not to last as she snapped, “Fine! You wanna be friends with someone who’s gonna end up your boytoy’s baby-momma, that’s on you!” Before stalking off angrily.

“I can’t believe she did that…”

“Really?” Sam eyed Alex curiously. “Seems about par for the course to me.”

Alex paused, thought to herself for a moment, then said, “Actually, yeah that is about normal for her…why did I say that?”

“Well, you are a cinnamon roll who always believes that people can be better,” Clover replied with a wide smile as she patted the latina on the head. “And that’s why we love you!”

While Alex blushed at the compliment, inside Clover’s mental landscape, a storm brewed as she thought, (I, on the other hand, know better.) And brought out a cell phone which she started typing on.

Noting their distracted friend, Sam looked at Clover curiously and asked, “Who’re you texting?”

“A friend who owes me a favor,” Clover said simply, before hitting [Send] and grinning chipperly. “So, let’s finish this up quick and go out for lunch, my treat!”

(While Mandy gets treated to a piping hot serving of Plan D,) The blonde’s smile widened at that malicious thought, though she was careful to keep her friends from realizing just how twistedly her gears were turning.

00000

In Bev High’s common area, a large outdoor park-like setting ringed with roofs supported by pillars, Mandy was raging mad, growling to herself as she paced back and forth like an angry, self-absorbed panther underneath one of the awnings in a more isolated area.

“I can’t believe that _tart_ knew you were there!” Mandy snarled as she threw a dark scowl at Dominique.

“Hey, Alex and Ranma had NO idea they were being watched!” The confessed voyeur snapped back. “I made sure they were long gone before I got out of there!”

“Which is when you realized you forgot to put a memory card in your camera.” Caitlyn gave the short-haired girl a smug grin, seeing herself rising marginally in Mandy’s esteem for not screwing up as badly as the new Number 3 had. “Seems like something that should be easy to remember.”

“Screw you!” Dominique shot back angrily, “I’ve only got 1 card, and it was IN the damn camera when I left my house!  There’s no way I could have lost it!”

“Well, you did!” Mandy declared with a narrow-eyed look at Dominique. “Which means we need to think of something else to get some payback on Clover, _besides_ that slut-in-training banging her limp-dicked stud!”

(Limp-dicked is totally the _opposite_ of what he is…) Dominique thought to herself as she turned to her leader and said with obvious frustration, “Everything else was piddly compared to miss sweet-as-sugar going all pornstar on the new transfer student.”

“Maybe you should let us be the judges of that?” Caitlyn offered sweetly, “Since, thanks to you, we don’t have useful at the moment.  So what happened, from the beginning?”

Dominique shot Caitlyn a withering glare at the bushy haired girl’s self-satisfied tone before she groaned in annoyance and said, “Ugh, Alex was playing soccer with some redheaded nip who called herself Ranko.  Apparently, she’s ‘Ron Sato’s,” the snob finger-quoted. “Little sister.”

“Sister?” Mandy’s ears perked up at that and she smiled in a sharklike way.

“She doesn’t go here, Mandy.” Despite the fact that she was attempting to make amends for her folly, Dominique couldn’t help but take a bit of pleasure with how annoyed the leader of the trio was at that information.  Returning to the difficult task of remembering something that had happened less than a day ago, the dark haired girl’s eyes shut and she rested her cheek on her fist as she thought out loud. “God, there was something about wanting to meet their dad, and she told Alex not to do it cause he made her and Ranma play dodgeball with beehives.”

Mandy and Caitlyn shared mutual incredulous looks at that.

“And then there was a lot of bitching and moaning about Ranma being told he had to knock up some unholy bitch—”

The shared telepathic disbelief increased by an order of magnitude.

“And then the girl was crying like a baby, and I’m _so_ pissed we lost that, cause it would’ve been the perfect scene to make Alex look like a rug munch—!”

Dominique suddenly stopped, blinked and declared, “That’s it!” As a smile lit up her face and she turned to Mandy. “That’s what we can use against that little witch!”

“You got something?” Caitlyn said quickly, eyes narrowed in disbelief, but more importantly, the chance to cast doubt on the girl trying desperately to redeem herself before she got back into Mandy’s good graces.

“Yeah, the reason why Alex was at school yesterday!” Wicked glee lit up Dominique’s face as she crowed, “The little perv gets horny off of exercise!”

Caitlyn rolled her eyes and scoffed loudly, while Mandy blinked in confusion. “She what?”

“After Ranko left, Alex went to the locker room acting all antsy, and when I followed her, I caught that she wasn’t wearing any underwear underneath her soccer shorts,” The voyeur declared happily, not noticing that her audiences’ lips curled at that information. “And when she got into the showers, she straight up _told_ Ranma that she gets so turned on from working out, she came just because he was in the same _room_ as her!”

“Do you really expect us to believe that?” The bushy haired cohort shook her head in disgust at Dominique’s explanation. “Cheating is one thing, but you think anyone’s gonna buy that Alex gets wet just from running track?”

“No…they don’t have to believe it…” Mandy’s voice brought the two girls attention to her, where her eyes were practically glowing with wicked delight. “They have to _see_ it!  All we gotta do is wait for the little tart to have another soccer game and follow her!  If she really does get hot and bothered, we can just tape her again and—”

“That, would be a very bad idea.”

The three girls stopped and spun around at an unfamiliar voice, and their jaws dropped as they were confronted by Plan D.

-Last Night-

Clover tapped her desk, holding her phone to her ear with a serious expression.  As soon as Sam and Alex left, the blonde made her preparations for tomorrow and dialed the number she'd only found by using WOOHP tech to dig through the school's systems.  Barring unusual circumstances, Alex would be better protected than a double layer of Trojans.

The blonde smiled at the dirty joke _and_ thinking about how it would feel to rawdog her stud when there was a click in her ear as a rough, feminine voice asked, _“Who’s this?”_

“Oh!” Clover blinked and shook herself from her erotic musings before replying, “This is Clover Manson!  Is this Donna?”

-0-

Donna Ramone frowned as she set down the dumbbell she'd been lifting, and wiped a bit of sweat from her brow as she replied, “Yeah?  Should I know you?”

_“Ah, kind of,”_ the girl at the other end of the line admitted. _“See, I’m Clover, one of Alex’s friends, and she's in a bit of trouble.”_

Donna scowled darkly and grunted, “What kind of trouble?”

-Present-

Donna overshadowed the trio by quite a large amount.  Not for height necessarily, but more for bulk as the rumored delinquent clearly worked out more than the average fashion obsessed valley girl.  Resting her hand and elbow on the nearby pillar in a casual fashion, there was a strained sound from the redhead’s leather motorcycle suit as she flexed her arm, pushing the inside of her fist against the stonework as she smiled at the snobs in a decidedly unfriendly manner.

“Now, I wouldn't have thought that _anyone_ was dumb enough to threaten the runt,” Donna smiled wolfishly at the trio. “Since she’s _almost_ as tough as I am when she gets good and riled.  But here I am, listening to someone who doesn't have the sense not to poke a sleeping bear in the eye.”

Despite the subtly hostile manner exhibited by the girl, Mandy’s lip curled in a sneer as she asked, “Like, what do _you_ want, Ramone?  This is a private conversation.”

“I want a Harley, but I’ll settle for making you leave the runt alone, if you know what's good for you.” The biker snarled as she stepped forward. “‘Cause she happens to be a friend of mine, and I'm not about to let a bunch of stuck up brats ruin her life.”

Noting the butch hairstyle and decidedly unfeminine fashion sense, Dominique snorted. “ _Friend?_  Yeah, I believe that.”

Donna paused and turned her eyes onto the short-haired girl, who suddenly had the very unwelcome sensation akin to pulling on a lion's tail.  Letting the unspoken look of _‘please give me a reason to hurt you'_ , sink in for a moment, Donna replied, “Yeah, a friend.  ‘Cause she had the guts to stand up to me. You three?” The redhead smirked. “Are _bitches_ , in every sense of the word.”

Wide eyes and slowly building looks of outrage formed, only to halt when Donna took two long strides and Mandy suddenly found herself being towered over by a very angry thug, who growled, “I never gave a shit about the the runt’s games ‘cause it’s not my thing, but I’m going to be a regular fan from now on just so I can keep an eye out for the three of you.  And if I see you _cunts_ anywhere **near** Alex with any kind of camera, I’ll shove that thing so far up your—”

“HEY!!”

An angry shout drew the 4 girls’ attention to someone standing on the grass outside the rooftop awning, only a few feet away from the intimidation in progress.  Dominique’s eyes widened at the sight of the boy she’d been videotaping yesterday, glaring at Donna and saying, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” In a demanding tone.

Donna narrowed her eyes at Ranma and snapped, “This doesn’t concern you, newbie.”

An idea leapt to Caitlyn’s mind, and her face lit up in a wide grin at being able to out-shine Dominique even further before she adopted an exaggerated and fearful expression and addressed the ‘dumb-ass white knight’. “Please!  Help us! She’s threatening us!”

Catching the dodge immediately, Dominique chimed in, “She wants out money, and she won't leave us alone!”

Then Mandy proclaimed, “She’s totally gonna hurt us!  Do something!” And gave a subtle smirk to Donna, who was giving each of the three girls incredulous looks at roping some wannabe hero into making her back off.

Ranma would have done something.  For all intents and purposes, it looked like a clear case of someone being bullied and in need of help, and it was a martial artist’s duty to protect the weak from people who’d take advantage of them.

Except, the three girls weren't as good an actors as they thought.  And he'd caught the malicious gleam in the _kappa-onna’s_ eye and her smile after asking for his help.  Images flashed through his mind of Nabiki and Shampoo, playing innocent victim to manipulate him or someone else _against_ him, and thought with a certain amount of disgust, (Either these girls _really_ suck at this, or Nabiki trained me well.)

Folding his arms, Ranma looked at Donna and asked, “One more chance.  What's _really_ going on here?”

Noting the emphasis on the word really and the almost tangible disbelief in his voice, the trio of snobs gaped at him while Donna cocked an eyebrow quizzically. “Why do you want to know?”

“Because its a martial artist’s duty to protect the weak.” He cut his eyes to Mandy as he added, “But not when someone is _pretending_ to be weak.”

“You’re going to let her assault us?!?” Caitlin shouted, completely floored by the utterly callous behavior from a boy who’d been almost pathetically thoughtful less than a day ago.

“ _If_ that's what she’s doing, no.  And the same goes _if_ she's really robbing you.” Ranma said simply.

“I’m not robbing them!” Donna snapped at the boy. “And I’m not gonna hit them, _if_ they leave Alex alone!”

Ranma blinked at that, and asked, “Alex?” before looking at Mandy.  Recalling the combative relationship between Clover at the snob, and how close Alex and Clover were, a sneer crossed his lips as he spat, “Really?  You couldn't ruin my date with Clover, so you hurt her by going after Alex? I’m starting to get homesick.”

Mandy flushed at the implication, while the other three girls blinked in confusion as she shouted, “Shut up, you _gigolo!_  We know what you and that stupid wannabe good-girl were doing yesterday!”

“It's not cheating if she's on top, eh, _Ranma?_ ” Dominique called mockingly, taking a sadistic sort of pleasure in how pale the boy had turned, while Donna was glaring at him suspiciously.  However, never let it be said that some people don’t know how to quit when they’re ahead, as the snob added with a chuckle, “Hey, maybe if you’re lucky, the slut will invite her _dyke_ over here to join in—”

“WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?!”

Dominique froze solid as Donna refocused on her and let out a roar like a lioness, shoving past Mandy and hauling back to slug the shorter girl square in the face.  As Mandy fell on her side with a squawk that was more surprise and outrage rather than pain, Dominique could swear there was some kind of blur moving among them, but at the moment she was too focused on the seemingly asteroid-sized fist about to smash into her most prized possession, namely her face.

Donna could almost _feel_ the impact from the homophobic twit’s cheek against her knuckles, and under her outrage, she allowed herself a small smile of well-justified sadistic glee.  But her anticipation of violence was crash halted while her fist was still cocked back, as something that felt like an iron manacle locked around her wrist and her attempt to pull the metaphorical trigger almost threw her off balance when the manacle refused to budge, and effectively ‘pinned’ her arm in mid-air.  Looking to her right, Donna gaped at the sight of a scowling Ranma, who was standing next to her and gripping her arm tightly.

Mandy blinked, having felt a breeze whip past before Clover’s newest living dildo had stopped the bull-dyke from punching her flunkie.  Donna’s shocked sputter of, “H—How?” Was answered by Ranma coldly declaring, “Threatening someone is one thing, really hurting them is another.  And besides,” he glared at the three snobs, “You want to get expelled over hitting _them?_ ”

Caitlyn, recovering quickly, smirked at the disapproving boy and said, “Like you’re one to act all self-righteous, mister hero.  I don't think the school’s going to be happy hearing about you screwing one of the star athletes in the locker room.”

“So now Alex is a _‘star athlete’_?” Ranma shot back disdainfully. “You need to make up your mind deciding what she is, cause if you get it mixed up, it'll make your case even worse.”

Caitlyn blinked. “What case?”

“Your case that Alex is more of a…‘loose woman’ than you three are.”

Mandy, having gotten to her feet and feeling decidedly irate at having scuffed her designer skirt and blouse when Donna shoved her, snorted at his archaic wording.  Realizing that the transfer student had given her something of an _‘in’_ with the idea of seeing him or Donna expelled for fighting, Mandy grinned maliciously as she prodded the wannabe hero in an attempt to make him finish what he’d kept Donna from starting. “Why would _anyone_ think we’re worse than that little _slut_?” She cackled as she dug a heel into Ranma’s attempt at political correctness and desire to keep Alex’s reputation intact. “She's the one who’ll bang any limp-dicked jap who crosses her path!”

Donna glared at the laughing brat and vainly tried to pull her arm free, only to shiver as her arm suddenly felt chilled and a cold breeze swept through the group, raising goosebumps across the exposed flesh of the brat and her cronies.  A glance at Ranma sent a completely different sort of chill through the tough girl, as his eyes had gone completely dead, with all the emotional registry of a week old corpse. Then in a flash, he came alive again and the cold stopped as he glared at Mandy and said quietly, “Well, she's not the one who goes to school with no panties on.”

All 4 girls blinked in unison at that statement, with Mandy asking, “Say what?” In complete confusion.

“You spread stories about Alex, I'll do the same to you.” Ranma declared icily, finally letting go of Donna’s arm.  While she rubbed her wrist, which had a strange sort of tingling numbness akin to frostbite, the pigtailed teen went on. “Except Alex is a good person, and people will find it a lot harder to believe that she’d do something _hentai_ than you.”

(The hell is hentai?) Caitlyn wondered as Mandy gave Ranma a smug grin.

“Yeah?  Well, any rumors you spread will be shot down instantly if they’re as blatantly stupid as that one.”

“It's not stupid if it's true.”

“It's not true!” Mandy laughed scornfully. “Of course I'm wearing underwear!”

“Really?” For the first time since he'd arrived on the scene, Ranma grinned.  But the light of his smile didn’t reach his eyes as he held up the hand that wasn’t restraining Donna, which held a wad of purple, silky cloth. “You so sure about that?”

Mandy stared at his hand uncomprehendingly until she noted the patterns in the fabric and paled.  Immediately, she slid her fingers between the waistband of the micro-mini skirt she was wearing and swallowed a screech as she felt nothing but bare skin, and suddenly became aware of a very intimate breeze over what should have been her covered nethers.

Donna’s jaw dropped as the leader of the mean girls flushed completely crimson and locked her knees together, all her attention on Ranma and her eyes filled with hate as she whispered, “What the _fuck_ did you do!?”

“Trade secret.  And honestly, I _hate_ using it.” Ranma explained before adding in a low voice, “If you leave Clover-chan and Alex alone, I won't do it ever again.  Deal?”

Mentally running through the options of screaming for a faculty member versus possibly giving people a free show, Mandy vibrated with rage for a few seconds before spitting, **“Deal.”** In a voice that could etch glass.

“Good,” Ranma said simply as he let her take back her pilfered undergarment, then looked meaningfully at Dominique and Caitlyn. “Same for you two.  Deal?”

Caitlyn snorted and replied, “Yeah, whatever.” While mentally running through ways she could _accidentally_ reveal Mandy’s commando status and take her leader down a peg on the social ladder.

Dominique on the other hand, had a flashback to yesterday when the same boy had mentioned his martial arts school was created by a gigantic pervert and the blood drained from her cheeks as she pulled open the waistband of her jeans and looked down.  She gasped in fear, crossed her knees and glared murderously at Ranma as she hissed, “Deal! Give them back!”

A sharp, gasping laugh of disbelief escaped Donna as she watched the strange boy pull another pair of underwear out of his pocket and toss it to the mortified girl, and was suddenly very happy that she had been stopped from hitting the homophobic twit.  Then the short-haired snob stared at the black, thong-back panties in her hand and her nose wrinkled in disgust as she hissed, “These aren’t mine!” And Donna took one look at the horror-struck expression on the bitch with the long bushy hair before howling with laughter.

Caitlyn yanked her unmentionables away from Dominique as the biker girl cackled and Ranma offered an amicable, “Whoops,” as he pulled a third set of panties and threw them to the short-haired girl.

“ _Whoops!?_ ” Mandy gave a strangled, strangely muffled sort of screech as she gaped at the blasé teen. “I should file charges on you!”

“Why?  You were the ones exposing yourselves, and I just found them laying around.” Ranma’s eyes went cold as he added, “If I hadn’t run into you, I’d have just thrown them in the garbage.”

The three girls froze at that as Ranma glowered darkly at them. “I know better than _anyone_ how much a bad reputation can ruin your life, and if any of you mention what happened between me and Alex, I’ll drag you down with us, got it?”

The bullies having been bullied, they scampered away as casually as possible, despite overcompensating for their lack of undergarments by walking rather stiffly with their legs too close together.  Donna slowly recovered from her laughing fit, wiping away a tear from her eyes as she gasped, “Oh my God, that was just _mean!_ ”

“Yeah, well so were they,” Ranma muttered. “And I spent a hell of a long time being a doormat for a heartless witch I **wish** I could have done that to.” Memories surfacing soured his mood, and Ranma forced them back down with a sigh. “Except, she was a lot smarter than the _kappa-onna_ and would have turned it back on me somehow.”

Mulling that over privately, Donna gave Ranma a studious look up and down. “So, what’s this about you and Alex banging in the girl’s locker room?”

Ranma’s back stiffened and he turned to look nervously at the rather suspicious girl as he mumbled, “It…wasn’t on purpose.  We just ran into each other—”

“Relax, _stud_ ,” Donna said as she gave him an appraising eye. “I already got told the sordid details when someone asked me to stop that bitch from messing with my buddy.”

“You what!?” Ranma gaped at her with wide eye’d shock as he asked, “Who told you—”

Then he stopped, recalling the rather frank discussion he’d accidentally overheard between his girlfriend and her besties at the mall and moaned, “Clover…” as he facepalmed.

Donna smiled thinly, enjoying making the cheater squirm a bit, even if she’d been assured that Ranma hadn’t given the runt a dicking just cause she was a hot piece of ass in close proximity. “Yeah, she ran her mouth off a little bit when I asked why that bitch was gonna go telling tall tales about the runt, though she didn’t mention you being her boyfriend.”

Ranma grimaced. “That was _not_ normal for me,” he offered ashamedly.  Then added under his breath, “Especially the part where Clover forgave me.”

Filing that nugget away as well, Donna shrugged and said, “I believe you. And I gotta say, you don’t look like the kind of guy Alex would go for.”

Feeling vaguely offended, Ranma gave the biker girl a challenging look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I pegged her as the type to go for the reedy little poetry spouting nerds ‘cause most guys who are as crazy about sports as she is tend to be douchebags.”

“Hey!”

“Just sayin’.” the biker girl said with a slight smile, “I’m glad she found a guy who ain’t a jerk.”  While Ranma mulled that over, Donna took a half-step towards him and added coldly, “But if you make her cry, I’ll kick your ass harder than what I was gonna do to the bitch brigade.  Clear?”

It was a struggle for Ranma to keep from laughing in the thug’s face, though it was made easier by the fact that he knew it would result in a fight, which is something he did **not** want to do.  Plus, she was trying and failing to intimidate him for the sake of someone they both cared about, which made any outbursts a non-issue as he nodded solemnly. “I won’t do anything to hurt Alex.  I promise.”

“Good.” Donna nodded in satisfaction before leaning back and folding her arms. “What the hell kind of ‘trade secret’ lets you swipe a girl’s underwear without them knowing it, anyway?  You some kinda magician?”

Ranma snorted. “A martial artist, actually.  The guy who founded my school was a serial panty-thief, and I saw him use that move all the time when I tried to stop his panty-raids, so I picked it up eventually.”

Donna took a moment to consider that. “So…your Mr. Miyagi was a sex offender?”

While in some unknown and far away location, a wrinkled prune of an old lech let out a sneeze, Ranma laughed loudly and appreciatively at Donna’s analogy. “No, I learned from pops.  He’s the one who trained under the freak until he got the chance to shove me off onto his _master_.”

Donna raised an eyebrow at the snotty tone in the last word, but otherwise didn’t comment. “What kinda martial art is it anyway?   _Ninjutsu_ or _karate?_ ”

While a little surprising to hear the terms pronounced properly, Ranma took the girl’s question in stride due to the comparison to a well-known fictional _sensei_ and how american movies and shows had popularized the other style of fighting for decades. “Kinda.  The style is based around adaptation and thinking on your feet, while using a wide array of styles, but everyone has a solid base of some kind.  The old lech’s tricks were based off _ninjutsu_ , while most of my stuff comes from _kempo_.”

The biker girl gave a soft ‘huh’ as her interest was caught. “ _Kempo’s_ like combat- _karate_ ain’t it?  The stuff they teach when you’re really trying to kick someone's ass, not just score points in a competition?”

Now Donna had Ranma’s attention, and he regarded the girl with greater interest. “You know about _kempo?_ ”

“Sometimes kids in juvie look up ways to kick ass so they can make themselves sound like a badass,” Donna replied casually. “Most of the times it doesn’t work, unless they take it seriously.  I was trained in somethin’ else when I was younger, but the style I was learning didn’t really agree with me.” She smiled thinly. “ _Silat’s_ what keeps the assholes off my back nowadays.”

“ _Silat?_ ” Ranma’s ears perked up, having predominantly studied Eastern arts.  He’d rarely met practitioners of styles from elsewhere in the world, through a combination of his father's egotism that the ‘Anything-Goes Style’ was innately superior to any schools he couldn’t steal techniques from, and almost constantly training out in the middle of nowhere. “I’ve never heard of that one.  What’s it like?”

As lunch hour wore on, Ranma and Donna bonded over martial arts and the pigtailed boy enjoyed discussing subject that, even though he’d left most of the trappings of his old life behind, was still near and dear to his heart.

00000

“So, like, it’s cherry red with these spaghetti straps that are just—”

Clover’s discussion of her latest addition to the collection of _‘fuck me’_ -wear, and the unsubtle implication that she’d bought it specifically for a certain pigtailed boy, was met by sighs and blushing from her two friends as they headed for school’s front door, just 3 girls among the rush of others eager to get home after a draining day of classes.  Before Clover could detail the ensemble further, the sound of her name being called caught the trio’s attention, and they saw a burgundy-haired girl in a leather biker suit leaning against a wall just outside the doors.

“Donna!” Alex smiled widely, having found a friend in the otherwise rough girl as she and her two besties headed towards Donna. “Long time no see!  What have you been doing?”

“Watching your back, runt.” Donna grinned back at Alex, giving the girl a light tap on the shoulder. “Congrats on getting some, by the way.”

Alex and Sam immediately went wide-eyed and turned to Clover, who attempted to whistle nonchalantly as the redhead whispered, “Clover…what did you _do!?_ ”

The blonde chuckled nervously and gestured to Donna as she offered, “Uhh…meet plan D?”

“You TOLD her!?” Alex gasped in horror. “Clover, how could you?!”

“It’s alright, runt,” Donna waved her hand. “She didn’t tell me much, just that you’d met a nice guy who’d popped your cherry and a couple of bitches were gonna try and use that to smear your rep.” Side-eyeing Clover, the biker added, “You didn’t mention the guy was your boyfriend…”

“Ah ha ha ha,” Clover gave a loud, obviously fake laugh and scratched the back of her head. “Like, whatever gave you that idea?  You don’t believe that story do you?”

“Considering Ranma told me so himself, yeah, I believe it,” Donna frowned at the blonde. “So don’t piss on my leg and try to tell me it’s rainin’, got it?”

The three spies blinked at that, with Sam staring at the biker girl and wondering if Ranma had been bragging about being with Clover, despite his nice guy mannerisms. “He told you too?  When?”

“When he saw me… _suggesting_ to that turbo-cunt she should leave the runt alone,” Donna rumbled. “He thought I was bullying them, but when the bitches tried to play damsels in distress, he realized they were full of shit.” To the surprise of the 3 spies, Donna unexpectedly broke into a wide, wicked grin and chortled evilly, “Oh, but the way that cheeky bastard got those cunts to back off was a thing of _beauty!_  The looks on their faces—”

“He made them back off?” Clover looked confused as she wondered what her beau had done, considering he’d been so placid during their date when Mandy assaulted him with pasta. “How?  What’d he do?”

Hiding her glee with only marginal success, Donna replied with a shit-eating grin, “He stole their underwear.”

Clover, Alex, and Sam froze solid, wide-eyed and staring at the quietly laughing butch girl. “He did…what?” Sam whispered, one eye twitching indignantly.

“Yep, off of all three of them in about a half-second, right before I could punch one of them in the face for calling me a dyke.”

Clover, Sam and Alex’s jaws dropped in unison, with the relatively innocent latina being the first to recover due to the usage of an unfamiliar term and what sounded like an overreaction from her protector. “You were going to hit someone for calling you a dam?” Alex frowned disapprovingly. “That's not nice, Donna.”

Donna stared at Alex incredulously along with Sam, while Clover gave a very indecent snort before saying sweetly, “Alex, that’s a mean way of saying Donna showed a girl her math homework.”

Filing away the runt’s suddenly crimson cheeks and soft, “Oh…” as something which wasn’t her problem at the moment, Donna returned to her sitrep.

“Anyway, he pulled off that magic trick and stopped me from hitting them.  Then that Mandy cunt got in his face and he threatened to trash their reps by telling everyone they go to school commando.” Donna let out a decidedly sadistic laugh. “The look on their faces when he pulled their skank undies out of his pocket and said he was gonna throw them in the trash was priceless!”

“Sounds like it.” Clover smiled in agreement, now wishing that she knew where Mandy was so she could return the favor for her earlier insults on Alex.

“He did all that in a half-second?”

Donna nodded to Sam’s confused and impressed tone. “Yeah, I didn’t even see him move.  He said it was some kinda ‘secret technique’ he picked up from an old lech who founded the martial arts style he practices, and he hates using it.” The biker girl pursed her lips. “I can definitely understand that sentiment.”

“No kidding.” Alex matched Donna’s distasteful look. “Between that and the, _‘hawk’s talons’_ I think his dad picked up a lot more from his perverted master than he let on.”

“Hawk’s talons?”

“If you’re fighting a girl, grab her chest so she freezes up in shock.” Donna’s eye twitched as Alex nodded. “His sister was really angry about that one when she told me yesterday, before…”

As the latina blushed crimson, remembering her tryst following ‘soccer practice’, Donna snarled, “I’d be pretty pissed too—” Then stopped as part of Alex’s last sentence finished making a lap in her mind. “Wait, sister?  What sister?”

“Ron’s sister, Rachel.” Clover replied glibly in lieu of Alex, who’s embarrassment had effectively muted her.

“He never said anything about having a sister.”

Sam’s eyes widened and she quickly gestured for silence from her friends as she asked, “You’re sure about that?”

Noting the confused looks from Clover and Alex, Donna felt a little bit of suspicion form for the buddy she’d made today as she answered the stern-faced redhead. “Positive.  In fact, he made a point of saying _‘just me and pops’_ when we were chatting earlier about fighting styles.” Donna sneered, “Ron didn’t tell me anything about the name of his school, his dad or the old freak, but I remember him saying that his dad kept him as far away from civilization as possible so he wouldn’t be distracted by girls and teen hormones.”

Alex and Clover looked stunned by that, but before they could ask anymore questions, Sam said curtly, “Thanks for the help, Donna.” And turned to the other two, her expression guarded as she said, “Come on guys, we’re gonna be late.”

Donna nodded once to the redhead, though her expression was thoughtful as the trio walked away, with Alex looking deeply confused while Clover’s narrowed eyes belied something about the delinquent girl’s statements which irritated the blonde to no end.

“I—I don’t understand…” Alex whispered quietly as she remembered Ranko’s impotent fury and heartbroken wails when describing her and Ranma’s abysmal home life. “Why wouldn’t he mention Ranko?”

“If she’s not his sister, then who the hell is she?!” Clover growled, recalling the very intimate details Ranko had shared about his life and coming up with her own conclusions for why that had been the case. “I swear to God, if he brought a side-piece from Japan, I’ll freaking—”

“Nothing about this makes sense,” Sam’s quiet murmur interrupted the furious blonde’s tirade. “Ranko kept slipping up when she talked to Alex, almost making it sound like it was just _her_ and Ranma’s dad.  And when she talked about the Akane girl, it sounded like _her_ heart had been broken, not his.”  With a groan of pain, Sam started rubbing her temples in a circular motion as she tried to fight off the headache that was forming. “This is the _worst_ assignment we’ve ever had!  We’ve got nothing to go on, and things just keep getting _weirder_!  If only I could find out more about him—”

Sam stopped, her eyes wide as a thought struck her, and it was another half-step before her besties noticed the redhead had arrested her forward momentum.  Looking back, Clover and Alex blinked quizzically at the redhead as the former asked, “Sammy? Is something wrong?”

“That’s it…” Sam said quietly, eyes darting back and forth for a few moments as she mulled over her plan. “I know how to find out what’s _really_ going on with Ranma Saotome!”

“You do?” Alex tilted her head curiously. “How’re you going to do that?”

Sam met Alex’s eyes, and a slow smile spread across her face as her gaze turned to Clover. “Simple, really.  Clover’s gonna finish the job she started on Friday and pump him for information.”

Clover and Alex’s jaws dropped. “W—What!?!” The blonde’s eyes slowly lit up as she whispered joyously, “I can go out with him again!?!”

“Of course.  He’s your _boyfriend_ , after all.” Sam smiled thinly at the awestruck blonde and cut off the impromptu musical cue threatening to burst out of her friend by adding, “And we’ll be coming with you.”

Clover deflated immediately, a soft, “What?” escaping her quivering lips as she took in Samantha’s cruel grin.

“Since you can’t be around him for more than 5 minutes without wanting to _kiss_ him,” Sam’s lips twisted in a slight snarl. “We’ll make it a 3-way date, with me and Alex just wanting to know more about their friend’s new beau.”

“B—B—But that’s not _fair!_ ”

Sam narrowed her eyes at Clover’s melodramatic whine. “Well, if you could be trusted not to screw Ranma before we find out whether or not he’s a freaking criminal mastermind, you wouldn’t need a chaperone!”

“Mastermind?!” Clover gaped at Sam. “He thought swapping a _‘D’_ with an _‘N’_ was the best way to change a girl’s name!”

Sam’s mouth opened, then closed as she pondered that with an irritated look while Alex hesitantly offered, “She has a point.”

“Be that as it may,” Samantha brushed aside Clover’s excuse with a wave of her hand. “He’s still a suspect, and we can’t afford to be compromised.” She side-eyed Alex. “Any more than we already _have_ anyway…”

Alex blushed while Clover frowned. “Hey, that’s like, not her fault!  That was totally dropping a buffet table in in front of someone who was starving!”

“I’m not _blaming_ Alex for what happened,” Sam rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I’m saying that right now, I’m the only one of us who’s even considering the possibility that Ranma is not a good guy, and we need to be careful until we find out for sure who he really is!” Straightening up, Sam locked eyes with Clover and declared, “Friday night, we’re _all_ gonna go out and make sure you _stick to the mission_ and find out what’s going on with him, got it?  And that means **no** **_kissing_ **!!”

Clover pouted, with tears threatening to pour down her face as she whimpered, “Bu—But _Saammyyy,_ I want to go to the rodeo!  I got the saddle picked out and _everything!_ ”

Sam’s eye twitched and Alex quickly stifled a fit of giggles with a hand clapped over her mouth. “Well, Friday’s pony ride has been rescheduled until I find out more on those weirdo’s he and his possibly non-existent sister mentioned yesterday.” After taking a deep breath, to compose herself again, Sam sighed. “Look, when my comp is clear, and if I find something that proves Ranma isn’t a bad guy, _despite_ the evidence that Britney has sent us, then you’ll be clear to do whatever you want on Friday, deal?”

Clover pursed her lips, sniffled loudly and said, “Deal…”

“Good.” Sam nodded before motioning for the trio to finish their trek away from the semi-necessary evil known as high school.

As they left and their conversations turned to far more inconsequential matters however, Clover’s mind was twisting down devious pathways, and she had to struggle to maintain her ‘understanding but still bummed’ facade due to her desire to cackle with wicked delight.

(So I’m not allowed to bang Ranma after our date on Friday?) A gleam twinkled in Clover’s eye. (Then I’ll just break that stallion in _before_ Friday!)

00000

Ranma gasped and groaned.  Sweat pouring down his body as he worked himself up.

“Almost there…Almost there!”

He could see the end coming and a smile spread across his face despite the intense build up which had him grimacing up until this point.

Then with sharp bark of, “YES!” Ranma finished his last rep and reached up to unhook his feet from the stirrups of the pull-up bar he’d wedged in the doorframe to his spare room.

As he disengaged from the athletic equipment he’d been using for upside-down curls, Ranma chuckled.  It was weird to think about, having a spare room to himself while for the last year, he’d been living in _somebody else’s_ spare room.  But now he was in Beverly Hills, with his own 1 and ½ bedroom apartment, which was a lot more space than he thought he needed but when you compared it to rooming with a fat panda and…

Ranma paused, frowning as that thought brought up a host of memories, and a dual feeling of relief and homesickness. (My own place…no pop waking me up by throwing me in the pond, but also no more Kasumi’s cooking…almost makes me want to call—)

The pigtailed teen shook his head and frowned. (No.  Even if it's Kasumi, she’d end up bringing _everyone_ down on my head, and I can't deal with that nightmare anymore.  Especially now.)

The images flowing through his mind of Clover and Alex, the former kneeling in front of him with his shaft between her smiling lips, and the latter screaming in ecstasy with her back arched like a strung bow as he came inside her.  The memories made him flush with desire and determination to protect the two girls he wanted to be with, rather than the fiancées who’d demanded his companionship and said, _‘Too bad!’_ When he dared suggest otherwise.  As he thought on his two lovers, Ranma felt his manhood rise and actually grinned as he looked at the tent being pitched in his sweatpants.

“Now I understand why Hiroshi and Daisuke liked those magazines they kept showin’ me.” Ranma chuckled as he headed to his bathroom.  As he peeled off his clothes, Ranma considered the benefits of taking advantage of his new privacy and engage it a bit of self-love. Turning his mind down erotic avenues, he recalled bits and pieces of those magazines and smiled at the memory of certain scenes.

Then he frowned as a pattern emerged in his mind, and he started running through moments where his two ‘normal’ friends at Furinkan high school had tried to bond with him over ‘manly’ things.

(Wait a tick…why does it seem like most of those magazines they showed me were of 2 guys with one girl?  And in an awful lot of those, the girl had red hair?)

A little bit of pessimism crossed a few wires with his paranoia and formed a tag team with his new knowledge regarding sexual bliss and a few lessons on critical thinking he’d gotten before making his escape from Nerima, and Ranma paled as his erection flagged.

( _Masaka_ …were…were those two trying to get me to do this-and-that with them!?   _Together!?!_ )

While not wholly fair, and something that could be filed under simple conjecture, Ranma nevertheless scowled as he filed Hiroshi and Daisuke’s now-suspicious behavior in a mental file labeled, [reasons to never go back to Nerima] under a subheading {People who need to be punched in the face}.  Shaking his head, Ranma grumbled as he readied his post-workout wash-up and decided to relieve some tension later… _much_ later.

-0-

Clover grinned widely as she strode up the sidewalk towards Ranma’s home.  Swinging a white handbag idly while she walked, the blonde giggled lightly as she anticipated surprising her beau with a little love-in-the-afternoon.  Or rather, early evening since her mother had insisted Clover finish her homework before going out.

(Like, why does she care anyway?  My grades are good, and she _knows_ I’m totally responsible!) Clover mused to herself, completely disregarding the irony of claiming responsibility when she was actively lying to her friends and family for a roll in the hay with a boy she’d known for all of two weeks.  As she reached the front door, Clover gleefully chortled, “I mean, I’ve got 2 boxes of rubbers, totally safe _and_ on the pill!  You can’t get more responsible than that!” Before touching the dimly glowing orange button and announcing her presence.

-0-

Ranma paused as his doorbell rang, having been in the middle of drying off when the semi-electronic chimes sounded.  Briefly running through a mental list of people who might know where he lived, he called out, “Who is it?” before slipping on a clean pair of boxers and sweatpants.

“ _It’s_ _Clover-chaaaannn!_ ”

Ranma gave a small laugh and called back, “Just a second!” as relief washed over him.  There was a brief moment of curiosity for how his girlfriend knew where he lived, as he couldn’t remember revealing that little tidbit of information.  Filing that away for future reference, which meant ‘ignored and forgotten’, Ranma headed for his front door and grinned widely as he opened it with a lighthearted, “Hey, Clover-chan!  What’re you doing here?”

(Okay, I feel a _lot_ more understanding of Alex now.) Clover whimpered internally, having been graced with the vision of a shirtless Ranma in broad daylight rather than in her dimly lit bedroom.  With his hair unbound and skin glimmering slightly from having recently washed up, Clover bit her lip and subtly pressed her thighs together as she internally moaned, (Now I need to get inside before I make a puddle on his doorstep!)

“I _came_ by to see you, obviously.” Clover purred, adding a slight emphasis on her favorite word while she returned Ranma’s smile. “Since I missed you after school.”

Taking in her appearance, a white mini-skirt and pink tube top and coupling it with her unsubtle verbal hint regarding her true reason for seeing him, Ranma felt a rush of blood to his loins and he swallowed audibly. “S—Sorry, Clover-chan.  I just thought…you’d want to cool off a little more.”

Clover shook her head with a wry smile. “Ranma, it’s like, totally fine!  Me and Alex have been through harder times than this, and we’ll always be friends!” Seeing his immediate sigh of relief at knowing he hadn’t split the two friends up, the blonde felt a rush of affection which only solidified her absolute certainty that the handsome boy before her was in no way, shape, or form a bad person.

“But you _are_ on thin ice,” Clover added with a pout and a hurt look. “And it’s going to take some effort on your part to make it up to me.  Got it?”

Having taken a .50 shot to his guilty conscience, Ranma winced visibly. “ _Hai_ …Clover-chan.”

(Oh…I’m sorry, Ranma,) Clover thought regretfully while keeping the upset look on her face.  It was a struggle though, as the urge to cackle madly fought against her ‘betrayed girlfriend’ facade. (But I’m like, _so_ going to make it up to you!)

Casting a pointed look over Ranma’s shoulder, Clover asked meaningfully, “So like, this is your place?”

“Huh?” Ranma blinked before looking behind him, then turning back to the blonde with a crooked smile. “Yep, it’s not much, but a lot better than I had back home.”

“It looks nice,” Clover said, as she made a point of craning her neck like she was eager to see more of the interior of Ranma’s pad. “I don’t suppose it’s bigger on the inside?”

“I guess.” Ranma replied after a moment of thought. “But having it all to myself does make it a lot more roomy than it seems.”

Clover looked at Ranma with a deadpan expression for a moment, then facepalmed and groaned quietly. (Dammit, I forgot how totally dense he can be…)

“Clover-chan?” Ranma looked worriedly at the blonde and the pained expression on her face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.  Yeah, I’m fine, Ranma.” She said with a touch of exasperation before taking a deep breath and straightening up.  Fixing the pigtailed boy with a hard look, Clover declared, “It’s just that I would like to _see_ how roomy your house is, _from inside_ , but it would be rude to walk in **uninvited**.”

While still technically playing games, the veneer of her words was thin enough to qualify as among Happosai’s favorite ‘silky darlings’ and did nothing to obscure the neon sign reading [Let me in, you idiot!!!] from even Ranma’s social blindness.  Blushing furiously, the pigtailed boy exclaimed, “Oh! Oh, okay!” As he stepped back and scratched the back of his head with a nervous laugh. “You can come inside!”

“Oh, I _plan_ too.”

The blonde’s soft, sultry whisper carried to Ranma’s ears and he flushed brightly as she strolled into his domicile with a thin smile.  As her eyes adjusted to the interior lights, Clover took in the modestly decorated living room, with just a simple couch opposite a cheaper model of flat screen tv hanging on the wall and opined quietly, “Huh.  Not much here.”

“Well, I like to keep things simple.” Ranma said with a shrug as he made to close his door.

(Hmm…I don’t remember that ‘Ranko’ girl showing up on my tapes of this place, and it’s _totally_ in need of a woman’s touch.) Clover mused to herself before saying aloud, “So like, where’s your sister?”

Ranma froze as he closed his door, eyes wide for a second before he answered quietly, “We thought it’d be easier to stay out of sight if she got her own place.”

Clover frowned, thinking on how hard it must have been for the siblings who’d grown up together to be separated. “That’s a shame.”

Ranma made a show of sighing, “Yeah, it is,” in regretful agreement with Clover.

“But then again…that also means we’re all alone, doesn’t it?”

Ranma blinked.  Clover’s voice had taken on a husky, deep-throated quality that he’d heard once before.  As he turned around, the sense of deja vu became stronger due to Clover staring at him with smoldering eyes, the bag she was carrying dropped to the floor unceremoniously before she stepped closer to him.  His breath caught in his throat as she pressed herself against him, and his loins swelled from the way her eyes fluttered as she pressed her sizable chest against his pecs.

“Ranma.” Clover whispered softly, smiling in a way that was simultaneously teasing, coy, sultry and affectionate in a way that made his vision tunnel until all he could focus on was her soft, pink lips. “Do you remember what I said last Friday?  About me _coming_ to your place instead of mine?”

Ranma nodded, feeling her warm breath on his face and the soft pressure of her hip against his member as his arms slowly wrapped around her waist.

“Well, here I am, and I came prepared.” She glanced meaningfully over her shoulder towards the bag. “I brought a few toys, rubbers, and some ‘accessories’, so we can do _anything_ you can think of.  I mean, if you just want to fool around a little, that’s fine.” Returning her eyes to his, Clover rose on the balls of her feet until Ranma could almost taste the cherry lip gloss as she breathed, “But I’m ready to spend the night with you.”

Ranma’s eyes widened and he blurted out, “Spend the night!?”

“Mm-hmm,” Clover darted in quickly, giving the thunderstruck boy’s bottom lip a quick nibble and pulling away before he could return the favor. “And I want to spend every _second_ of it on your dick.” Smiling sultrily, Clover gave Ranma both barrels of her patented ‘fuck-me’ eyes as she whispered, “It’s all up to you, Ranma…can I take the wild horse for a ride?”

There was a second of hesitation as Ranma felt the ingrained expectation of, _‘violent interruption in 5, 4, 3…’_ But just like the last dozen times it’d happened since coming to Beverly Hills, there was no scream of outrage and condemnation, male or female.  Instead, an unusual instinct occurred to him, brought about by the rapid changes in his life.

He’d done things of a sexual nature with two girls, which was mind-boggling enough.  But the fact that the one he’d crossed the man-boy line with wasn’t the one he should have, and the end result hadn’t been a gruesome and painful execution for both of them was completely inconceivable.  Being forgiven by the girl he’d truly betrayed, and she was willing to stay with him despite his dishonorable behavior was something he could never have dreamed up.

And now his girlfriend was pressed up against him, wanting him, knowing he wanted her, and obviously _loving_ the effect she had on him judging by how her subtle body movements were rubbing his prick against the soft material of his underwear.  And she was showing absolutely no hesitation or lingering anger over his infidelity yesterday.

Like so many other things in his life, Ranma listened to his instincts.

Unlike most of the other times when he listened to the little voice in his head and it blew up in his face, Clover’s needy whine of pleasure as he immediately crushed her lips against his told him he’d made the right decision.  As one arm around her waist tightened like a steel cable, his other hand slid down Clover’s mini-skirt until his fingers hit the bare skin of her leg just underneath her rump and immediately reversed course for some added foreplay to their make-out.

Then Ranma’s eyes bugged as his fingers slid underneath the material of Clover’s skirt, finding only the soft, pliant skin of her uncovered backside.  He felt her lips curve into a smile against his, knowing she’d shocked him even without him breaking their kiss long enough to gasp, “C—Clover-chan!?”

Clover grinned wickedly at his reaction to her commando status and breathed huskily, “I said I came prepared, didn’t I?” Taking a moment to balance herself, the blonde brought one leg up and wrapped it around his waist, then gave a soft moan as she flexed her hips and rubbed her bare nethers against his cloth-covered erection. “Nothing’s stopping you, Ranma.  Give it to me!”

Another instinct surfaced, which was met with just as much delight as his previous one, as he gave a feral sort of growl and silenced Clover with another passionate kiss while he flagrantly palmed her ass.  With any objection or barrier between him and Clover gone, save his own unmentionables, Ranma’s other hand joined its brother in grabbing the blonde girl’s backside and lifted her off the ground. She gave a surprised moan and instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck while her other leg matched its twin and kept her effectively lashed to him, which only made her hotter as she could apply more pressure against his groin and her sex.

“Clover-chan,” Ranma broke their kiss, while keeping his lips close enough to hers that they brushed feather-light against his as he asked huskily. “You’ll let me do anything?”

“ _Anything!_ ” Clover affirmed with a moan as her legs tightened their hold on his waist.

“Good,” Ranma growled as he started walking, making the blonde whimper at the slight friction against her sex while he headed for his bedroom, completely unencumbered by the teenage girl he was wearing like a t-shirt.

-0-

“Clover?” Alex called aloud as she walked through her friend’s house.  She’d wanted to talk to her bestie about what had happened, just to make sure that they were still friends, and took advantage of the fact that the trio had all shared house keys in the past.  It’d been something of a relief when she saw Clover’s mother driving away from the house as soon as Alex got onto their block, as she didn’t want to consider the older woman’s reaction to a discussion involving her daughter seeing a boy who’d _shtupped_ another woman.

Heading to Clover’s room, Alex frowned as she looked inside, finding hide nor hair of the blonde, and wondered aloud, “Where is she?  Did she go to the mall again? I think she didn’t say anything about going shopping, but where else could she be?”

As she spoke, Alex caught sight of Clover’s TV, and the seemingly unobtrusive compact mirror sitting on top of it.  Of course, the fact that said mirror had several thin wires coming out the back and dipping out of sight behind the schreen took away a lot of the ‘totally not a spy tool’ disguise.

“Really, Clover?” Alex sighed as she walked towards the _supposedly_ covert observation area. “You just leave it out in the open?”

As the brunette reached for the machine however, she paused.  Thinking on what Clover had been monitoring, a rush of curiosity and desire came to Alex, making her bite her lip as she switched targets to the power button for the TV set, wondering what the man who’d taken her virginity was doing at the moment.

The sound came first, all of a half-second before the screen filled with colors and shapes, but it was more than enough for Alex’s jaw to drop.  Her eyes wide in shock, the latina breathed, “Oh my God…” as her cheeks reddened and her womanhood grew very warm.

-0-

“Ranmaaaaaa…” Clover moaned as he suckled the tender skin of her neck, his affectionate ministrations there countering the pleasure of his index and middle fingers forcefully rubbing against the interior wall of her sex.

Ranma gave a small smile, but otherwise ignored the blonde’s plaintive call as he continued playing with her body while her soft hands pulled at his shaft.

The two had adjourned to his bedroom, leaving a sparse trail of clothing as they went so that by the time Clover’s back had been laid onto Ranma’s sheets, the two of them were completely nude.  Rather than dive on in however, the teens had taken a few moments to warm themselves up even more. Ranma was ever the over-achiever regarding physical activity however, and his mindset was bolstered by the desire to make amends for his transgression and let Clover know just how much he cared for her.  Now, as he laid next to her with his upper-body hovering over hers, feeling her erect nipples pressing into his pecs, Ranma listened for the crescendo of his girlfriend’s release.

“Ranma!” The blonde gasped, her grip tightening around his shaft, while her pussy did the same to his probing digits, feeling her legs spasm as she whimpered, “Oh God, Ranma, baby!”

“Feel good, Clover-chan?” Ranma smiled as he brought his lips away from underneath her jaw so he could look into her clouded, pre-orgasmic sapphire eyes.

“Oh fuck me, Ranma.” Clover’s hips bucked in response to the slight curl of his fingers, which made them dig into a spot along her frontal wall which made her legs shake and lightning race across her groin. “I’m gonna cum…oh fuck me, I’m gonna _cuuummm!_ ”

“You’re close?” Ranma breathed heavily, the combination of watching her reach her orgasm coupled with the rather jerky, distracted movements of her hand which was still wrapped around his joystick making him growl with need. “You’re gonna cum?”

“Yes!  YES!” Clover squealed as the tense, spring-winding sensation built up in her loins.

“Tell me when you cum.” Ranma’s lustful growl sent shivers through the blonde that only accelerated her release. “Tell me when you’re—"

“Oh—oh fuck!” Clover spasmed, her hip jerking off the bed as she screeched, “Now!   _Now!_  NOW—MMMMM!!!”

The rest of Clover’s orgasmic scream was muffled by Ranma’s mouth, his tongue diving between her lips as he slammed his fingers as deep as they could go, rubbing the ball of his hand against her clit while pressing the tips of his fingers against Clover’s G-spot.  Even stifled as she was, the blonde’s squeals of ecstasy were still enough to make his ears ring while his sheets were soaked with her fluids.

Whimpering softly as the fires died down, Clover breathed, “Fuck me, Ranma…” When he broke away again.

“You’re welcome, Clover-chan.”

“No, seriously; fuck me, Ranma.” Clover murmured, recovering quickly due to being no stranger to monster-orgasms, though none brought as fast or with as much passion as her current lover. “‘Cause I’m this close to picking out a wedding ring, but I need to take your cock for a test drive before I call a priest.”

While she was obviously joking, at least that’s what he was _hoping_ , Ranma couldn’t help but grimace. “Please, Clover-chan.  Don’t kid about that.”

Clover giggled lightly, “Sorry, Ranma.” though the twinkle in her eye showed that she was anything but apologetic at the moment as she rolled her hips, grinding her entrance against his hand which was still knuckle deep inside her sex. “I’m just happy ‘cause like, I didn't think you were gonna fingerbang me until I came.”

“What else was I going to do?”

Clover laughed again as she met his eyes and murmured sultrily, “Get me wet enough to handle _this_ bad boy,” She tugged his cock for emphasis. “And give it to me in one **thrust**.”

“Oh.” Ranma’s cheeks reddened from pleasure and affection as he smiled and wiggled his fingers inside her sex, watching her stomach and groin quiver erotically in response as he replied, “Well, you _did_ say I could do anything I wanted, and I really wanted to make you cum before we did anything else.”

“Oh my _God_ ,” Clover groaned lustfully as Ranma’s fingertips tapped against her G-spot in a staccato rhythm. “Ranma, you _have_ to let me fuck you for that!  Stop going for the 7-10 split so I can put this in its place!”

As she punctuated her statement by giving his dick a hard yank, Ranma grunted at the forceful but not uncomfortable tug.  However, before he could follow his divining rod to her watering hole, Clover pushed him so he rolled over onto his back, keeping her body mostly pressed against his as he allowed her to take control.  As she lay on top of him, their legs intertwined and her breasts pressing against his chest, the runaway from Nerima felt that same flush of desire, attraction and gratitude to her which was becoming more familiar and welcome with every encounter.  Grabbing two handfuls of the blonde’s plump backside with both hands, Ranma began toying with them, getting a feel for their heft and buoyancy with a wide smile while his cock pressed into her groin.

Clover moaned as Ranma palmed her ass, the cool breeze over her anus as he spread her cheeks making her nethers clench while his hard, calloused fingers dug into her booty and his length pulsed against her shaved mons.  Meeting his eyes, the blonde smiled sultrily and cooed, “Oh, do you like my ass, Ranma?”

“I like _all_ of you, Clover-chan.” Ranma returned her grin as he wiggled his wrists, causing the girls posterior to jiggle in his grip.

“Flatterer,” Clover moaned happily. “But aren’t you forgetting something more important than my butt?”

He blinked quizzically. “I am?”

“Mm-hmm,” Clover hummed as she lifted her chest from his, exposing her breasts and looking down to where Ranma’s python was sandwiched between their groins.  As Ranma realized what she was talking about and gave himself a mental dope slap for being dense, the blonde continued to shift position by languidly drawing her hips forward and sitting up, until she was riding him like a witch’s broomstick.  The feeling of her labia sliding along the underside of his prick made Ranma groan until she suddenly stopped, prompting him to look down and see the light pink nub of Clover’s clit resting just a centimeter below the swollen head of his member.

Clover spread her legs a little wider, feeling the veiny shaft pressing harder against her nether lips as she rested all her weight on Ranma’s cock.  Her pulse racing from the heat warming her already blazing loins, Clover braced her hands on Ranma’s abs and slowly drew her hips back-and-forth, rubbing his hard length against her moist petals and letting her natural fluids soak his dick as she softly moaned, “You forgot about my pussy…and I think you’re going to love it a _lot_ more than my ass.”

“I think you’re right.” Ranma growled while his cock was slathered in his girlfriend’s buttery smooth juices, his desire rising as she ground on him.

“God, I think I could cum just from this!” Clover moaned as her hip movements became more jerky, the feeling of her clit rubbing along his length making tingling sparks radiate up through her groin.  With obvious hesitation and several stops and starts, she slowed down and whispered, “But I won't…not yet…”

“You won't?” Ranma cocked an eyebrow curiously. “Why not?”

“Because I’d get more out of it than you would.  And more importantly,” Clover met his eyes with a half-lidded, red-cheeked gaze that turned him on even more. “I’ve waited _too_ long to fuck you.  And if I’m gonna cum on your dick; it’s gonna be _in_ me when I do.” Her point made, the blond grinned sultrily. “Besides, I still have to break you in.”

“Break me in?” Ranma’s confusion deepened until the feeling of a soft finger running laps around his ridge distracted him, and he looked down to where Clover was teasing the tip of his cock, which was still trapped between their bodies.

“You _are_ a wild horse, aren't you, Ranma?” Clover murmured with an amused smile, noting that her index finger was getting slightly damp from his pre-release. “And that means I gotta show you who's boss around here.”

Ranma grunted softly, the ‘ticklish’ sensation of her treating the edge of his cap like the rim of a drinking glass making him harder.  An idea occurred to him on how to turn the tables, and he smiled at Clover before slowly thrusting his hips, pressing his length harder against her sex, rather than the reverse. “And how are you gonna do that?” He asked with a smirk that said he knew _damn_ good and well what the answer was.

Clover’s eyes fluttered as his cock rubbed against her entrance, sharp sparks of rising pleasure making her moan, “Oh, I’m g—gonna ride you _hard!_  And I won’t stop!  Not until you _break_ , and—! Oh fuck, I can't _take_ it!”

The teasing stimulation snapped the blonde’s fraying restraint and she pushed against his stomach with her hands, pressing him into the bed and lifting her off of his prick before she reached between their legs with one hand and grabbed his pole.  With practiced ease, she adjusted the angle of his spear and gave a high pitched whimper of, _“Yes!”_ When the head slipped between her folds, leaving nothing left but for gravity to take hold so the pair could officially consummate their relationship.

While not a virgin anymore, the teasing build up and the lack of guilt made Ranma's eagerness rise almost as high as when he and Alex had deflowered each other yesterday.  With Clover’s groin obscuring the upper half of his dick, while her hand was wrapped around the lower half, the pigtailed boy held his breath and waited for his lover to descend with bated breath.

But just as his crown became more acquainted with her slit, a thought occurred to him.  A worrying one that somehow broke through the fog of hormones that came from Clover giving Ranma’s dick an ever-deepening kiss.  Despite the pleasure of nearly being sheathed in a hot blonde’s pussy, Ranma’s hands tightened on her ass in a clearly restraining fashion, halting her descent as he called worriedly, “Wait, just wait a minute, Clover-chan.”

Only an inch deep, and with **so** much more to go, it took everything Clover had not to let out a scream of sexual frustration and outrage that would make Satan himself flinch.  With great effort, she somehow managed to keep from snarling in her lover’s face, though it was obvious that she was _very_ displeased by yet another delay of game as she spat, “Wait for _what_ , Ranma!?”

Seeing how angry she was, Ranma swallowed nervously but forged on, as it was out of concern for both of them that he’d spoken in the first place. “Your…your purse is out in the hall.”

**“And?”** Clover growled with a slight twitch in one eye.

Flashbacks of angry females aplenty rebounding through his head, Ranma blurted in a panic, “I’m not wearing a rubber!”

It took a second for that to process, but when it did, Clover’s eyes bugged and she stared at Ranma in complete shock, all traces of anger or outrage gone as she whispered disbelievingly, “Like, _seriously?!_ ”

“Y—Yeah, We were in such a rush, you must have forgot about it.” Ranma winced apologetically, hoping she wouldn't be too angry about almost going all the way without any protection. “I’ll wait while you get one, okay?”

Ranma assumed that Clover was gawping at him because of both their lapses in memory and the fact that she's almost mounted him without a rubber on accident.

Like most things regarding Ranma’s assumptions with women, this was not correct, and was in fact the _opposite_ of what his lover was thinking.  Because while only head of his manhood had become intimately familiar with Clover’s depths, no one could argue that the two of them were not ‘lovers’ at this point, and out of the sexually liberated girl’s previous partners, none of them had done what Ranma just did.

Besides the Cunning Linguist test, Clover had other _exams_ she put possible boyfriends through, to test their moral fiber and quick thinking while _also_ giving the two of them a good deal of sexual fulfillment, hopefully.  One of the unofficial tests was how they reacted to wearing rubbers and their mutual safety in general, although it wasn't as much of a pass/fail as her other exams unless the guy whined too much or _pretended_ to put the condom on.  Situations like that would usually end with a displeased dismissal, a fake phone number, and making **damn** sure every other girl in Bev High knew who among the other students was an irresponsible ass.

But now here she was, nearly mounted on a supposed _supervillain_ who’d not only passed her safety test, but raised the bar into the stratosphere and left her dumbstruck from the fact that _he_ had stopped her when all he had to do was keep his mouth shut and enjoy the ride.  In a very few cases, she’d stopped a lover before he’d crossed the Rhinelands into her sex to go get protection, but that was not a curveball she liked to throw out casually.  And yet Ranma had done it to himself, and Clover couldn't help but feel like a scientist who’d discovered a completely new species of humanity. With all that in mind, her next reaction was one that anyone except Ranma would have seen coming from a mile away.

Ranma nearly had a panic attack when Clover’s expression twisted into a snarl and she gave a low, feral growl, largely due to his personal history with all things feline.  Before the ailurophobic trigger could be pulled however, his mouth was suddenly violated by his lover’s searching tongue, surprising and pleasuring him in equal measure when he suddenly realized that his grip had laxed.

Said realization was because in that half-second of inattention, Clover _dropped_ and used his shaft to split open her moist peach, making him and her give a surprised grunt and a desperately needy whimper of desire, both of which were muffled into the lips of the other while she took him all the way to the root.  Despite feeling his balls touching the smooth expanse of skin between Clover’s womanhood and her backdoor, his body responded to the slick heat surrounding his length by shakily thrusting his hips, trying to shove more of his manhood into her depths even though there was no more left to give.  She responded in kind to his motions, pushing down for a moment like she was savoring his imbedded member, before pulling back minutely. He shakily tried to follow, only for her to thrust down harder, instinctively correcting his tempo.

As they found a rhythm, pleasuring each other with their coupling nethers and twisting tongues, Ranma couldn’t stop his thoughts from comparing Clover’s buttery smooth massage to Alex’s tighter grip.  While the latter’s depths had insistently gripped and squeezed him, Clover’s walls were smooth and encouraging, leading his dowsing rod to her deepest point and coaxing him to give her a gooey reward. Rather than a competition though, Ranma felt no issue in declaring that both girls were wonderful sexually and in personality, before returning all his attention onto returning his girlfriend’s passionate frenching with equal fervor.

As if a counterpoint to Ranma’s strangely calm mindset when in mid-coitus, Clover’s own thoughts were decidedly…less so.

(Why!?  Why did I wait this long to fuck him!?) Clover howled internally while her body was forcefully probed at both ends by Ranma’s skilled tongue and iron-hard cock.  The fantasies she’d had about fucking the prick she’d paid lip service to last Friday were being cast aside, imagination completely failing to live up to reality as her legs quivered with every downstroke, feeling his twitching length spread her open and hit all her sweet spots.  Her thoughts and her pace turned desperate, her body burning hotter and hotter as she drove Ranma’s length into her body, moaning in wordless plaintive need and desperate release. (He's too sweet to be real! Body of a _God_ !  And I’m **never** taking his cock out of my pussy!  I should have fucked him the second I **_saw_ ** him!  I sh—should have—!)

So aroused by fulfilling her fantasy, Clover didn’t realize just how high the mountain she’d been scaling was until Ranma’s ridge scraped across her G-spot.  Already tenderized by his fingers earlier, previous thrusts had only built up her pleasure, but this time her eyes bugged as something in her loins simultaneously snapped _and_ wound tighter.  A surprised, “MMM!” Was all the notice Clover could give her lover as pre-orgasmic quakes made her body shudder.

Ranma felt and heard her, but thought her announcement of an oncoming release was mere encouragement.  His response was correct in either case, as he offered an affectionate, “Hmm…” and playfully toyed with her tongue.  At the same time, he took her slowed pace as an indicator to become more active in their coupling and firmly gripped her backside, massaging the smooth cheeks as he kept thrusting.

Body burning and muscles quivering, Clover’s ascent to paradise was almost destined by this point, thanks to the steady strokes of Ranma’s length inside her seizing nethers. Then he palmed her ass and bucked his hips, the relatively minor stimulation of being groped coupled with the obvious pleasure of getting a deeper dicking, and Clover signaled her joyful release by _wailing_ into her lover’s mouth while her inner walls spasmed around his invading manhood.

Ranma knew many sounds associated with females, most of them varying flavors of angry.  While it was a new noise added to his mental library, he nonetheless recognized the muffled song of the _‘Orgasmus Valleygirlicus'_.  This made his eyes bug, not just the surprise of Clover’s sudden climax, but from the gently coaxing massage along his length becoming akin to a gelatin-coated vice.  As he stared at the blonde’s adorably scrunched up O-face while her scream vibrated his lips, Ranma was very pleasantly surprised to realize he’d made his girlfriend cum before he did.  While not as amateurish as he was the day before, the pigtailed boy had been concerned that anticipation of bedding the lustful girl would result in his release before her own, and thus make his tryst with Alex seem like more of an excuse to bed a fiery latina rather than honestly try to be a better lover.

But, his pride as a man and a little of his guilty conscience was satisfied, by the simple fact that his girlfriend was satisfied as Clover’s vocal performance slowly faded into a blissful moan.  While her depths ceased their ruthless squeezing of his member, Ranma stilled their motions and waited for Clover’s eyes open, seeing her dull, hazy expression before breaking their lip-lock and asking for confirmation of what he was 99% sure of. “Clover-chan, did you—"

“ _Yeeeessssssss_ …” Clover breathed slowly, her mind a million miles away while her pussy finished gleefully appreciating the hard cock that was stuffed inside her in the here-and-now. “I came… _so_ hard…so _good_ …”

Ranma met the affirmation of successfully making her orgasm with a surprised, cheeky grin. “Wow, guess I’m not too bad at this, neh?”

Clover shook her head slowly and murmured, “No…no you’re not…” before closing her eyes.  Ranma suddenly gasped for air as her walls clamped down on him forcefully again, though his exclamation was more from the realization that Clover could apparently _control_ her inner-muscles, when she had such a mind to do so. “Fuck, you feel so _good_ …better than I **dreamed** …”

“Dreamed?” Ranma panted, breathing heavier as his girlfriend’s nethers gave his length a thorough rubdown.

Clover’s eyes opened, and she met his questioning look with a smile that was warm, her cheeks flushed with affection and post-orgasmic bliss while carrying a hint of her usual ‘cheerfully slutty’ self. “You made me cum, Ranma.  Before we even _kissed_.”

Ranma blinked.  That sounded _very_ familiar to him and he let out a surprised, “ _Nani?_ ”

“I thought you were hot,” Clover whispered sultrily as she sat up again, just enough to give her breasts enough space to swing freely over Ranma’s chest while she explained her statement, _minus_ the details involving her spy work. “So hot, that I fingered myself.  I made myself cum, all alone in my bedroom while I was thinking about _you_ , days before our date.”

Ranma was wide-eyed, staring at her in amazement and smiling at the stroking of his ego as she rubbed her hands along his pecs. “Really?  You liked me that much?”

“I thought you were _hot_ ,” Clover corrected him with a grin before slowly rolling her hips, causing a very slight fuck-motion that made both their breaths come quicker and deeper. “And it was enough to make me cum.  But now, I **know** you and God, I really really like you!” She gave a shuddering gasp and squeezed his prick again, feeling it _burn_ the inside of her pussy in all the ways she loved. “Fuck, why are you so hard?!  There shouldn't be anything _left_ after yesterday!”

Being reminded of his infidelity brought a strange mixture of heat and cold to Ranma’s desires due to the dishonor he’d committed, while also filling his head with visions of Alex riding his pole, albeit in a different fashion than Clover was.  Grimacing apologetically and from pleasure as Clover’s silken sheath massaged his length, Ranma murmured, “ _Gomen_ , Clover-chan…I wasn't thinking—"

A delighted, gasping laugh was Clover’s response as she moaned, “Ranma, you sweetheart, dense-as-a-rock _stud!_  I'm not harping on you!  I'm _impressed!_ ” With a near-hop, Clover finished her ascent until she was again straddling Ranma’s waist.  Her head lolled back as he went balls-deep again, opening her up in places that only select toys and very few men had ever done before.  Her eyes fluttering, the blonde changed her motions to a slow swirl as she crooned, “Getting it up after blowing your load twice is one thing, but being _this_ hard after cumming 3 times is a _miracle!_ ”

Ranma wondered just how big of a _Moko Takabisha_ he could fire off right now, what with the praise being heaped on him by the girl who was riding him with honest, unrestrained joy.  While he considered the merits and possibilities of putting a theoretical blast up against the eternal Lost Boy’s Perfect _ShiShi Hokodan_ , a question floated across the part of his mind that wasn't focused on his length, which was stirring Clover’s insides like a spoon in a bowl of gelatin.  Ranma’s brow furrowed thoughtfully as he voiced the unexpected query on his mind. “Clover-chan…how do you know how many times I…you know, with Alex?”

There was a half second where Clover’s eyes widened when she realized how badly she just fucked up, not counting the fact that she was mid-fuck with a possible bad guy which would have _compounded_ matters, to say the least.  With the adrenaline and hormones flooding her veins, that half-second was all the time she needed to realize that a ‘half-truth’ would serve her purposes beautifully, and she met Ranma's questioning look with a sultry, impish grin. “Because Alex told me what happened, Ranma,” Her eyes gleamed lustfully. “And I mean _everything_.”

Ranma stiffened, both in body and manhood, the latter of which was met by an appreciative coo from his lover as he stammered, “S—She did?!  When?!”

“After she asked me to forgive her,” Clover purred as she ended her merry-go-round treatment and settled her ass against the top of Ranma’s thighs.  Bracing her palms flat on his abs, fingers curling around the sides of his waist, the blonde dispensed with the preliminaries to another round of sex and signaled the start of the second-half by slowly pumping her hips.  As his dick rose inside her body, so too did her voice as she fibbed happily to her shocked and rosy-cheeked lover. “She's been my friend forever, and I _had_ to hear the details of her first time!”

Something about what Clover was saying smacked of BS to Ranma, considering how shy Alex had been, even in the throes of lust.  But as a counterpoint, Clover was _very_ convincing about certain things, and they were girls, so that might have been a thing they talked about.  Plus, he was much more fascinated by the subtle bounce of Clover’s breasts as she finally took him to the true rodeo, while his hands shifted to her hips and aided in her motions. “And she told you?  Just like that?”

“It took some wheedling,” Clover winked at him as she sped up her pace ever-so-slightly, bringing a barely audible soundtrack of slapping skin to her exposition. “But yeah, I know what happened.  She wanted to feel you… _all_ of you in her pussy,” The blonde shut her eyes as she saw the video from yesterday play through her mind, combining it with the coupling of the present to arouse her even further as she moaned and spanked her ass against his thighs with a harder thrust. “…and you **gave** it to her!”

Ranma gritted his teeth as he _also_ saw Alex impaled on his shaft, water from the shower clinging to her back while her scream echoed through the technically empty locker room.  Unlike what he assumed to be a very thorough story coupled with a good imagination, Ranma’s memories were an instant-replay from a first person perspective, and with much more than sight and sound to help him relive his first assisted orgasm.  Needless to say, the memory coupled with the reality of screwing a beautiful girl was playing merry hell with his restraint.

“But you pulled out before you came!” Clover’s movements sped up again, this time without conscious thought as her backside applauded her efforts to please her lover by clapping against his legs, while her voice became breathless. “And she was so horny that she _begged_ you to let her ride you, so she could feel you cum in her pussy!”

“C—Clover-chan…” Ranma grunted, beads of sweat breaking out across his brow as he forcefully clenched his stomach muscles in an attempt to hold back.  Though his hands refused to restrain the bucking blonde impaled on his saddlehorn.

“But that wasn't _cheating!_ ” Clover giggled, her laughter light and airy, if only because she was also gasping as Ranma’s bed springs squeaked in time with her insistent bouncing. “You don't know how much I _loved_ hearing that!  ‘Cause it was like you and me **kissing** , and I couldn't believe Alex would think of something so _naughty_ to get you to fuck her brains out!”

Finally, mission control gave the executive order for a lockdown, and Ranma’s hands tightened on Clover’s hips.  But the traitorous limbs refused to go any further to stop her riding and he internally cursed them before calling out a warning, “Clover, I’m getting close—”

He was silenced by a finger to his lips at the same time her motions stopped.

Ranma opened his eyes and saw Clover smiling down at him.  Like a semi-divine figure whose domains were joyful sex, teasing seduction, and warm affection; the sight of which almost made him erupt then and there.  Seeing she had his attention, Clover took her finger from his lips and put the hand it belonged to back on his waist. “That's why I’m not mad, Ranma,” Clover whispered softly, more understanding and sincere appreciation in her words than he could ever remember hearing before. “You wouldn’t have sex with Alex if you didn’t care about her.  You _really_ wanted to help her, even though you had to say it wasn’t cheating to justify it.” Her smile curved naughtily. “And because of that, you gave my bestie the most _awesome_ cherry-popping I’ve ever heard of, which more than earned my forgiveness.”

Ranma’s breathing deepened, relief and arousal swelling within him as he gratefully murmured, “Clover-chan.”

“That’s what I want, Ranma.” Clover moaned huskily as her hands pressed down, giving her enough leverage to pump her hips slowly and insistently once more. “I know you care about me too, and I want the same thing Alex got.   **All** of you, _deep_ inside me, got it?”

Point made, and sharp enough that even he could feel the poke, Ranma nodded in affirmation while his hands guided his girlfriend’s motions again.  His breath deepening as he immersed himself in the silken glove squeezing his manhood, Ranma replied hoarsely, “You’ll get it, Clover-chan. Really soon.”

“Good…good!” Clover called out as the rodeo resumed in earnest, the slapping of their colliding nethers growing louder, now accompanied by the barely audible sloshing of a hard cock plunging into a sopping wet pussy over and over again. “‘Cause I want it!  Ever since I _saw_ you, I wanted you inside me!  Every **drop!** ”

Already close before the temporary pause for a word from a very sensual sponsor, now the waves were lapping at the edges of Ranma’s sandbags, making his hands shake on his girlfriend’s waist as he groaned, “Clover-chan!  You’re amazing!”

Hearing the thickened voice of a man about to burst, Clover sat down heavily, taking in his full length to get confirmation of his imminent orgasm.  The twitching rod in her core, still hot but now pushing her walls _just_ a little further apart due to swelling in preparation for release, was all the blonde needed to whimper, “I feel it!  You’re so _close_!” Anticipation and desire for her lover’s release brought a return to the race track, her pace now rapid and demanding as she moaned, “Cum in me!”

Her plea, much like her sex, was eager and desperate to bring forth the flood in his loins, which lit a signal flare in Ranma’s mind as the waves swelled again.

A split-second decision by Clover on whether to keep pumping or savor the first of hopefully _many_ creampies, was answered in favor of the latter as she took him to the root.  Instead of rising again, she twisted her hips and made his throbbing dick corkscrew within her pussy, smearing the pre-release leaking out of him along her inner walls as she groaned louder, _“Cum in me!!”_

Now her voice was demanding, forceful and insistent, while her depths continued to cajole and entice.  It was like a good-cop, bad-cop routine and Ranma was ready give up the goods as his back arched from the bolt of lightning racing up his spine.

It’s said that exuberance can never compete with experience.

In what had to be the greatest stroke of luck for the pigtailed boy in his entire life, his girlfriend had both of those in spades when it came to sexual matters.

Which is why, when his abs tensed and his body shifted slightly, but more noticeably his cock twitched and hardened from iron to **steel** inside her sex, Clover knew exactly what to do.  In an instant, one hand disappeared from Ranma’s waist and went to work rubbing her clit, the tingles through her core making her inner muscles tighten instinctively rather than by precise control.  Besides the obvious benefits, this meant Clover could focus her mind on every moment of eruption she’d provoked, which was encouraged for a third and final time with a scream of, “CUM IN ME!!!”

Clover’s voice blended together, her latest repetition of her request sounding like a plea, a command, and carried the air of absolute certainty like a nymphomaniac Cassandra.

But Ranma knew it wasn’t prophecy, but skill and simple biology that finally brought the torrential flood, along with the differences between his two lovers into sharp relief.  Alex had acted nearly animalistic; feral and wild, yet in some ways still innocent in the throes of lust. Clover, despite her air-headed and blasé demeanor, knew _exactly_ what she wanted and how to get it.  The runaway from Nerima could easily verify this, because the sudden writhing of Clover’s inner walls just as his loins sounded the order to invade her depths turned the forced march into an all-out charge.

Very briefly, his eyes settled on the junction of their joined bodies, where her smooth mons had completely hidden his length from view.  A faint smile crossed his face when Clover’s groin tensed and her inner walls briefly stilled, as though shocked by the generous eruption of goo within her body.  But that faint amusement quickly vanished as the pleasure of releasing his seed deep inside a beautiful girl struck him dumb, and his eyes rolled back in his head.  While more shots were fired from his cannon, Ranma could only groan and shudder as his girlfriend reacted in a way that he was frankly not surprised by at all.

Had she been at home, Clover would have been hesitant about calling attention to the consummation of unprotected sex.  Even if her mother was in another country, one of the blonde’s pillows would have been used to muffle the signature squeal of receiving a freshly delivered creampie.

While Ranma’s apartment was a relatively isolated location and free of nosy neighbors, the fact that his domicile was bugged by people who suspected him of evil-doing (and Clover herself) would have made her equally as reticent of revealing her bareback cavalry charge.

But when Ranma’s cock **throbbed** and shot a wad of hot cum into her pussy, Clover didn’t give a single _fuck_ about anything except the one she’d just gotten from her beau and would have shrieked, **_“YES!!!”_ ** just as loudly and eagerly if they’d rutted at his house, in her bedroom, or the middle of the mall.  Even though she didn’t need to use the involuntary spasms of a rapidly frigged clit to entice every drop of jism from her boy-toy, her finger continued it’s merry work on her nub, now to intensify the orgasmic bliss that was rocking her body while Ranma’s twitching dick coated her inner walls with thick ropes of spunk.

Eventually, the teens’ mutual release came to an end.  Normally this would be the point where one of the pair, either the boy whose shrinking manhood was gradually pulling free of the womanhood it had gifted with his release or the girl with a load of fresh nut-butter dripping off her labia, would be considering the more serious ramifications of what they’d done.  The blonde spy should have at _least_ remembered that willingly sleeping with the target of her mission was a clear violation of the rules of engagement.

Instead, Clover shivered and giggled breathlessly as Ranma’s softening prick slipped free of her sex, leaving behind what felt like a _literal_ bucket’s worth of cum staining her inner walls.  Thanking every deity that she could think of for being safe today, Clover summed up her current feelings with the words, “Best…sex… _ever_.” before she slowly slumped forward.

Ranma panted heavily as he recovered his senses during the increasingly familiar and **never** unwelcome feeling of post-coital bliss, though his manhood obviously needed more time than that to reload before the next engagement.  When Clover fell bonelessly against his chest, there was a brief moment of panic that she would brain herself by accidentally headbutting him, but her collapse wasn’t as uncontrolled as it appeared at first blush.  Instead, she lay along his upper body, resting her cheek on his shoulder while her heavy breaths warmed his neck.

It was almost an afterthought that Ranma’s arms came up to gently wrap around his lover’s body, holding her close while he finished catching his breath.  When he finally regained enough air to risk speaking, he uttered a soft, “Clover-chan… _sugoi_.”

Eyes half-open, without lifting her head from it’s resting place while the warmth of Ranma’s cum faded as it acclimated to the heat of her womanhood, Clover gave a small swallow to clear her throat and moaned softly, “What…does that…mean?”

“Amazing,” Ranma smiled at his bedroom ceiling. “Wonderful.”

Clover grinned at that and offered a pleased, “Well, sue-goy to you too.”

Ranma chuckled, which made her breasts jiggled against his chest pleasantly.  After a moment to share a comfortable silence, he asked, “Neh, Clover-chan?”

“Hmm?”

“If you didn’t want me to wear a rubber, why’d you bring them?”

Clover grinned and lightly pressed her lips against his neck. “Alex said you were worried about being a minute-man, even though you rocked her world.  So, if you wanted some _‘training wheels’_ to help you hold back…”

Ranma’s brow furrowed at that, a part of him wondering if there was a jab at his manliness in there.  But he couldn’t see Clover casually insulting him and the fact that she’d used the word ‘training’ helped him see the logic in her statement. “Oh…thanks.”

“Oh trust me, Ranma,” She murmured as her arms wrapped around his neck and she pulled herself closer against him. “The pleasure is _all_ mine.  Especially because you _don’t_ need em to show me a good time.”

Ranma smiled and turned his head to gentle kiss Clover’s brow. “I’m glad, Clover-chan.”

She giggled at his touch, then raised her head and pulled herself up a little, bathing his ear in her warm breath as she whispered, “But now, I’m kinda curious how long you can last with a little desensitization for the next round.  You don’t mind, do you?”

Ranma sighed in arousal from her lustful words, while down below, his prick gave a small twitch underneath the blonde’s recently vacated nethers. “‘Course not.  I’m kinda curious how long I can last too.”

Clover hummed approvingly before lightly pinching his earlobe between her lips in a gentle nip. “I _bet_ you are…but can I ask you for a big, **big** favor?” She moved her head a little closer to his ear and whispered, barely audible even as close as they were, but he still heard every word. “When you get close, take it off.”

Ranma’s eyes widened and he turned his head slightly, his cheek rubbing against his lover’s as he met her mischievously twinkling eyes with his own surprised gaze. “Clover-chan?  Why would I—"

“Because you deserve it,” Clover murmured as she gave him a chaste, for her anyway, kiss on the lips. “After what you did, I can’t think of any guy who deserves to cream my pie more than you.”

Ranma blinks quizzically, even as a wave of desire rolls through him. “What did I do?”

The blonde raised up a little, letting Ranma see her affectionate expression as she asked, “You know I’ve had a few boyfriends, right?”

“Yeah?” A thought occurred to Ranma and his brow furrowed.

“No, none of them were the crazy-jealous types.” Clover offered quickly, correctly surmising what her beau was thinking. “But the point is, I’ve been with a few guys, and I don’t think a single one of them would have stopped me from screwing them once they were in.” her lips quirked in a small smile. “Or _almost_ in, anyway.”

While happy for the praise, Ranma frowned as he considered the moral character involved in these past lovers of his girlfriend and said, “Well, those guys are selfish jerks.”

Clover smiled and shook her head, her sweaty blonde locks clinging to her brow as she denied him affectionately. “No, Ranma.   _They’re_ normal.  But you? You’re special,” Then she leaned in and gave him a gentle, sincere kiss. “And I’m glad I met you.”

Feeling a warmth in his heart, separate from the aroused heat throughout his body for this beautiful girl draped across him, Ranma replied quietly, “I’m glad I met you too, Clover-chan.”

Clover gave a small shiver. (God, I really like that little nickname…and I _really_ like him!) As Ranma brought one of his arms across her waist and began to kiss her again, the blonde mused on the feelings stirring within her and returned his affectionate motions. (I think…I think this is real…and I’m honestly falling for him.  I’m sorry, Sammy, but I just can’t believe Ranma is a bad guy anymore.)

-0-

“ARE YOU **SERIOUS!?!** ”

Samantha snarled as she resisted the urge to whip her laptop across the room, which had once again blue-screened on her 6th attempt to access Japanese websites for information on the Nerima ward of Tokyo.  Upon booting up her computer, a variety of issues popped up the moment she’d Googled, Yahoo’d, Binged, or any other kind of search on the terms and names Ranma had relayed to her. These issues had gotten worse the deeper she’d dug, making her screen freeze or her keyboard stop working at points, until she’d gotten the idea to start with very generalized and roundabout methods of what she was looking for.

She’d looked up _kendo_ , which had been fine.  After experimentally googling various terms from the sport in question such as the practices, outfits and the difference between a _bokken_ and a _shima_ , which hadn’t caused any issues; she’d applied those terms on a few .jp sites, looking for information on competitions and championships across Japan.  There’d been a few starts and stops, but the precise moment she’d narrowed her search to Tokyo, her computer had crashed.

Sam brushed her disheveled hair out of her face and glared at her laptop’s screen as she shut it down and prepared to reboot, _again_. “This is insane,” the redhead murmured to herself, sounding a bit like she’d passed the event horizon of sound reasoning herself. “I've got **three** of the most up-to-date antivirus software and firewalls, and I made **damn** certain they didn't screw with each other or my system, so how in **fucking HELL** can something be screwing with me now?!?”

Letting out a frustrated scream, Sam got out of her chair and stalked around the room, kicking her feet and waving her arms like a baptist preacher overtaken by the Holy Spirit, while her proclamations were _anything_ but divine. “What the fuck is with this guy!?  Does the universe _itself_ want him to stay unknown!?!  How the _fuck_ can the **entirety** of Japan’s servers be booby-trapped!?  Who could do something like that!? _Why_ would they do it?!?  What the **fuck** could be so important about Ranma- _fucking-_ Saotome that—"

Sam froze.

Her eyes widened as the idea which had sprang into her mind slowly grew more prominent.

“Britney’s notes,” She whispered to herself. “The tapes she could barely recover, and half-assed police reports.  Ranma lying about having a sister and the names of those _weirdos_ back home.   _Everything_ he's been doing has been to cover his tracks, he **must** have something to do with this!”

While sound in theory, Sam couldn't help but think about what kind of computing genius could create a program or a virus so thorough and malicious.  It would require an insane amount of detail and expertise, while Ranma…

Sam winced as she remembered the first day Ranma had sat at a computer in class, and somehow ended up blaring Adina Howard’s Freak Like Me throughout the entire building, despite the school's tech-support guy insisting that the boy had been using Photoshop CS2 and nothing else.  Of course, that was after the comp-monkey recovered from his near seizure upon seeing the damage Ranma had caused to the computers programming, which in his own words, necessitated a quick disposal before it infected the others.

“Okay, so he didn't do it,” Sam admitted as she slowly turned to her laptop as it loaded up again. “Cause no one could fake being _that_ bad with computers…but someone did.”

Grinning widely, Sam walked over to her purse and declared, “But I bet they’re not good enough to stand up to WOOHP’s know how!” As she pulled out what looked like an ordinary electronic tablet, colored the same light green as her spy suit.  But upon opening it, she tapped an otherwise non-descript app icon of a daisy, which immediately read her fingerprint through the screen and rather than opening up a cutesy Tetris-style game with flowers and seeds, displayed the WOOHP logo and was followed by the words, [How can I help you?]

Sam sighed with relief before typing rapidly. [Gladis, need you to look up information on certain people in Japan; specifically, Tatewaki and Kodachi Kuno, as well as a high school Principal named Kuno, and someone named Happosai.  Be careful though.] she added with a scowl. [There's some kind of program blocking my laptop from looking up anything on those names, even on Stateside servers.]

[There should be no problem for me.] The hyper intelligent WOOHP AI known as G.L.A.D.I.S. replied.  After a few moments though, the supercomputer assistant Jerry relayed the words, [Oh my.]

[Gladis?!] Sam swallowed loudly, a feeling of dread overtaking her as she gave a quick prayer that they wouldn't have a repeat of the last time Gladis ran amok. [What’s wrong?!]

[I'm afraid I can't access that information either, as an Alpha-level info-blocker has been correlated to those names, along with a host of other terms.]

That feeling of dread doubled in potency and Sam’s fingers shook as she typed, [Gladiis, what is anm Alpha-lecvel info-blocker?]

[It is a WOOHP program, to be activated by agents in case of an emergency.  The only way to deactivate it is through the agent who activated it, or if proof is shown that the agent in question has been compromised or is unable to bring it down themselves.]

Sam froze.  Alarms screamed in her head, and she trembled for a moment before typing, [Can you tell me what agent activated the block?]

-0-

Clover sighed happily as she and Ranma gently made out, enjoying their lazy cuddling following the _epic_ rodeo she’d been wanting from her current beau almost from the moment she saw him.  With a light giggle, she asked, “Feel good, Ranma?”

“Better than I have in a long time, Clover-chan.”

She smiled at the genuine affection in his voice and the slight tickling sensation of his jism flowing out of her pussy and across her clit. “I’m glad.  Just, like, for curiosity’s sake though,” She asked while giving a look out his window to the orange-tinted sky as the sun began to set. “How long do you wanna cuddle for?”

Ranma smiled, though there was a bit of curiosity as he answered, “Ah, I wasn’t thinking of setting an alarm or anything.  Why?”

(Sweet, dense man) Clover thought with a sigh and a shake of her head before replying aloud. “I mean, how long will it be before you’re up for another round?” The blonde pushed herself up so she could look Ranma dead in the eye with a smoldering look. “Cause I’m totally down for more fresh creampie’s from the Sato bakery.  In fact, you could totally say I’m,” She licked her lips. “ _Hungry_ for more.”

Ranma flushed as his manhood, which had softened but not shrank thanks to her lustful words earlier, began hardening. “Clover-chan,” Ranma laughed lightly as his hands rubbed her thighs. “I thought _you_ wanted a break.”

At that, Clover gave a delighted laugh while her lover massaged her legs. “Studly, it takes a hell of a lot to put me down for the count!” she chirped as she flexed her hips, making her backside bob up and down in a deliberate imitation of her earlier ride. “But don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be **up** soon enough—”

Clover froze as something prodded her nethers on a downstroke.  Her eyes widened slowly as the poking sensation strengthened and her gates were opened millimeters at a time by a familiar intrusion.  Before she could be truly impaled, Clover lifted her hips and looked between her legs to confirm that Ranma was hard again, and rapidly approaching the swaggering length she'd come to recognize from him.  After a few moments of wide-eyed gawking, the blonde returned her gaze to Ranma’s face, which wore an expression of concern as he asked, “Neh…Clover-chan? Is something wrong?”

It took a few seconds for Clover to process that question, whereupon she shook her head quickly and then met his eyes with sparkling delight. “Baby,” she purred. “There’s absolutely _nothing_ wrong.” Before sliding/crawling backwards, letting her breasts rub against Ranma’s chest and stomach as she moved down his body until she was eye-to-eye with his cyclops.  The scent of their combined fluids made Clover’s head light and she gave a brief moan that was soon muffled by her lover's shaft as she took the head in her mouth and gave him a few insistent sucks.

Hearing the ‘ _wild horse’_ gasp her name brought a smile to Clover’s lips and a feeling of empowerment that made her moan with delight as she cleaned the last stubborn drops of Ranma’s release from his pipe.  As she turned her talented tongue to clean-up detail, the blonde delightedly realized how much better her lover’s seed tasted compared to last time, and made a note to ask him about it once she was done.

Ranma threw his head back, staring at the ceiling, though his mind was elsewhere as he marveled at Clover’s very thorough taste test of his manhood.  It was a lot different then the first time she'd gone down on him, as it seemed like she was wanting to make sure every inch of his member knew what her lips and tongue felt like.  He let out a groan as she licked his sack and gently suckled on his nuts, his dick twitching as he sighed, “Clover-chan…”

Pulling her lips away from his balls, she chirped, “Sue-goy?”

Ranma grinned as he replied, “ _Hai._ ” and looked down, seeing one of Clover’s eyes twinkling at him while the other was obscured by his erection.

“Good!  And by the way,” she brought her face up to the tip of his prick and licked her lips meaningfully. “You tasted _extra_ yummy today!  What’d you have for dinner?”

Ranma chuckled, “Green tea with some sweet onion lentils.  I try to eat healthy, normally.”

“Well, make a note of that, because you tasted better than pineapple cum!” Clover lowered her head, kissing his dick with a wide smile. “If you ate some of that, I’d be getting daily protein shakes from you!”

Refocusing on his face, Clover’s question about what he thought of that idea died at the sight of his drawn and pale expression.  “Ranma? What’s wrong?”

Ranma swallowed audibly. “Sorry, Clover-chan, but I don't think I can do that for you…”

“Why not?”

“Did Alex tell you about my old principal?”  Taking the blonde’s wide-eyes as affirmation, Ranma went on. “He was obsessed with Hawaii, and if I never see another pineapple in my life, it’ll be too soon.”

Clover shuddered. “Wow.  Like, ‘nuff said.” Brushing away the decidedly unsexy thoughts and returning to her ‘cheerfully slutty’ demeanor, the blonde smiled congenially. “But that’s okay.  Like I told you, I’d eat your cum anytime, no matter how you taste. But hold that thought for a second,” She asked as she got up off his bed and turned towards his door. “I’ll be right back.”

“Huh?” Ranma sat up on his elbows. “Where are you going?”

Stopping in the doorframe, Clover gave Ranma a sultry grin as she declared, “Like, to get the rubbers, remember?” Her grin widened as he smiled sheepishly and she murmured, “Just stay here, lay back and look _sexy_ for me.”

Laughing lightly at the pleased and mildly befuddled expression on Ranma’s face, Clover stepped out into the hall.  Spotting her bag-o-tricks immediately, the blonde strolled over and enjoyed the pleasant trickling sensation along the inside of her thigh.

When she got to her bag however, she blinked at the sudden sound of Santana’s Black Magic Woman coming from her cellphone.

-0-

Alex waited with baited breath, watching Clover look quizzically at her bag through one of the hidden cameras the blonde had placed in Ranma’s hallway. “Come on, come on!” Alex whimpered with need. “Pick up, Clover!”

The moment Alex had seen Ranma fingering Clover’s pussy while she manhandled his prick, the latina’s clothes had hit the floor, with all thoughts of being caught bare-ass naked in Clover’s bedroom the furthest thing from her mind as her engine wound up faster than her last soccer game.  What had started off as a low-level schlick session, bent over and gripping the edge of Clover’s tv stand with one hand while other simulated Ranma’s motions as best she was able, had grown more heated as the blonde and her lover had gone further. Eventually, Alex had all but fallen to her knees, putting both hands to work pleasuring herself with her cheek pressed against Clover’s carpet, head turned towards the tv so she didn’t miss a moment of Clover and Ranma’s rodeo.

The scream Alex unleashed had drowned out Clover’s when Ranma came inside the wily blonde, aided by the memories from yesterday when it had been _her_ womanhood being willingly violated by his spunk.  If the latina didn’t know any better, she swore she could still feel it inside her, which only made her raging hormones even worse.

Then they’d separated, and Alex had a chance to catch her breath for a moment before Clover had outlined their plans for the evening.  Alex couldn’t help but feel a flash of jealousy for her friend, and despite everything _wrong_ with what was going on, she also wished she could be in Clover’s place right now.

When that thought occurred to her, another came with it, and Alex blinked as her mind churned down avenues that normally remained closed save for those occasions where the need for intimacy overcame her usual mindset of naive innocence.  Too enflamed to care, she'd waited until Clover had left Ranma’s bedroom before calling her phone with slightly damp fingers and prayed her friend would pick up.

-0-

“What’s that?” Ranma called from his bedroom, the sudden music bringing a confused expression to his face as he swung his feet off the bed.

“My phone.” Clover replied before brushing her hair back with one hand as she answered the call with a quizzical, “Alex?  What’s up?”

_“C—Clover…”_

Panic lanced through the blonde, hearing what sounded like a pained whimper from her bestie made Clover’s body taut with fear, and it took considerable effort to maintain her calm tone as she asked quietly, “Alex, sweetie, is something wrong?”

_“Clover…I’m at your house…watching you and Ranma…”_

Clover froze solid, crouched on the balls of her feet as her jaw opened and closed several times with no sound cutting out.  After a moment, she looked at the corner of the ceiling where a tiny glimmer of a camera lens could barely be seen.

_“Yeah…”_ Alex affirmed in that same choked voice.

Clover’s eyes narrowed and she frowned, but after a deep breath, she asked, “So, what do you need?” in a voice that _sounded_ calm, but for anyone listening would have come off as a definitive request for final diplomacy.  I.E. ‘These could be your last words, so make them count.’

_“I was just…I was wondering where you were, and I didn’t think you would be at his place, doing…”_ A low moan came through the line which Clover briefly wondered if her lover could hear all the way in his room before Alex suddenly blurted, _“Clover, please let me have sex with Ranma!”_

The blonde’s eye twitched, and she trembled with a strange combination of shock, outrage, and arousal as she whispered, “ _What_ did you say?”

_“Please, Clover!  I know he’s your boyfriend, and I swear, I don’t want to take him away from you!”_ the plaintive begging from her friend drove a measure of pity into Clover’s heart as Alex moaned, _“I just want to fuck him again!  He’s so damn hot, and he’s such a nice guy, and I don’t want to find someone who’ll be mean to me or take advantage of my heat…”_  The hispanic girl’s voice trailed off into heavy breathing which slowly stabilized until she whispered, _“If…if you say it’s fine…then it won’t be cheating…will it?”_

Clover thought on that for a moment, mulling over the idea of Ranma shagging Alex again and to her own surprise, she wasn’t finding herself completely against the idea.  Rather, there was a slight flush of arousal as she considered getting a front row seat to the show she’d witnessed late last night. Furthermore, there was the fact that she and Sammy had fooled around occasionally, and while the blonde seductress hadn't wanted to _corrupt_ her more innocent friend, she was very curious to see firsthand kind of girl Alex really was between the sheets.

After a moment, Clover reached into her bag brought out a box of Trojans as she said conversationally, “Alex?”

_“Y-yeah, Clover?”_

“You know you’re interrupting a ‘special time’ with me and Ranma, don’t you?”

_“Um…yeah, I know.  I said, I can see you—"_

“And if you’re _really_ serious about this, then I’m going to want something in return for helping you out.   _Quid pro quo_ , as they say.”

Clover made a point of looking over her shoulder to see if her boyfriend was still in his room or not while the sound of grinding teeth came through the line.  Then she heard Alex mumble, _“Fine…what do you want, Clover?”_

-0-

Alex’s face was pouty, torn between her raging hormones and her loyalty to her friend as she waited to hear what Clover’s demand would be.

Instead of answering through the phone however, Clover stood up and faced the hidden camera.  Bringing the phone to her mouth, she whispered sultrily, _“It isn't cheating, unless you’re_ alone _with him.”_

The latina’s jaw dropped as Clover punctuated her statement by grinning wickedly and pointing directly at the camera, and then down at her feet.  Alex’s breath caught in her throat, her chest heaving as her mind spun through the idea of being screwed by Ranma, right in front of Clover instead of the blonde getting a 2nd hand account through a TV screen.  Her throat suddenly dry, the latina whispered, “N—now?”

Clover nodded and smiled. _“Oh yeah, right now, Alex.”_

“B—But what about you?” Alex whispered, her mind already painting dozens of scenarios/positions and possibilities. “Do you want…I mean, you’re just going to watch us while—"

Alex stopped as Clover gave the camera and thus her friend an annoyed look before whispering, _“Advanced math lesson, Alex.  2 plus 1 equal_ **_fun_ ** _!”_ Before licking her lips in a seductively lewd gesture that brought a completely new sort of flush to Alex’s cheeks.  Satisfied that her message had gotten through, Clover chirped, _“I’ll see you soon!”_ Before hanging up and calling over her shoulder, _“Hey, Ranma?”_

Though the hidden camera, Alex could only vaguely make out the sound of Ranma responding, but not what he said while Clover answered back, _“Can you c’mere for a second, I have an idea.”_

(Oh God!  Is she gonna tell him?!) Alex’s panicked and somehow thoroughly arousing thoughts whirled around her mind as Ranma came out of the bedroom and walked over to Clover, who was standing coyly with her hands behind her back.

_“What’s that, Clover-chan?”_

_“Well, I just realized that I've_ never _been with a guy who had his own place before, and I was wondering; when do your neighbors get home?”_

Alex’s brow furrowed as she wondered what Clover was up to, while Ranma shook his head. _“I don't have any neighbors. The other apartments are empty.”_

Clover’s smile reached devilish proportions and she gently reached up to hold the back of Ranma’s neck as she purred, _“Good.  Then that means we can be as loud as we want, anywhere we want.”_

Alex flushed beet red as she realized what Clover was thinking, and scrambled for her discarded clothes while she heard Ranma ask in a surprised and excited voice, _“Anywhere?!”_

_“Mm-hmm.”_ Alex risked a look and her knees weakened as Clover gave Ranma a quick peck on the lips. _“Cause I want to fuck you in_ every _room_ _here.  Can we do that, Ranma?”_

Alex mentally ran through the quickest route to Ranma’s apartment while she physically ran out of Clover’s house, leaving behind the soft moans of two teens getting ready for round 2.

-0-

Ranma smiled at Clover as his erection lightly pressed against her groin. “Clover, it would be my pleasure.”

She giggled at his little joke and gently rose up on the balls of her feet as she replied, “Oh, I know!” And slid back down, rubbing his dick against her body for a second before adding, “Now, let's get you suited up, shall we?” While holding up the box of Trojans.

Ranma looked at the box with a slightly curious expression. “Sure, but…I've never used one before.”

“Don't worry, baby.” Clover replied as she popped open the box and pulled off one of the slim packages. “I'll help you out.”

Dropping to her knees in front of Ranma’s slightly flagging erection, Clover scowled and said, “Oh, that's like, _totally_ not going to do at all!” Before grabbing his shaft and once again taking his pole between her lips, bobbing her head so the tip of his dick rubbed against the roof of her mouth while her tongue went to work against the underside of his shaft.  His prick perked up immediately in response to her ministrations and after a few moment of suckling, she pulled back and smiled at his full-strength hard-on as she chirped, “ _Much_ better!” before tearing open the packet in her hand.

“Wow…” Ranma breathed, smiling at the sudden head as he semi-jokingly asked, “Don't suppose you wanna keep going?”

“Don't tempt me.” Clover smiled teasingly up at him. “Cause I **will** be getting a hot drink sometime tonight, but that can wait for later.  I just had to make sure you’re as hard as a rock before I put the rubber on.”  As he nodded in understanding, Clover winked at him and said, “Want to see a trick?” Before pressing the curled up slip of bright red plastic to her lips.

Ranma looked utterly confused by Clover making kissy-face with a condom, until she leaned in again and Ranma’s breath caught in his throat as she took him into her mouth, deeper and deeper until his nuts were pressed against her chin and her nose had dug into his groin.  He hunched over and growled her name as the blonde’s throat constricted around the tip of his prick, his hands involuntarily grabbing the sides of her head in order to stabilize himself and keep the sensations going for as long as possible.

Clover, while far from averse to deep throat, wasn't in the mood for it at the moment, especially when the presence of a rubber meant she wouldn't get her creamy payoff at the end.  She hummed in an annoyed tone and slapped Ranma’s hip meaningfully, which brought him out of his lustful fugue _tout suite_ , though he overcompensated by yanking his cock from her gob so fast the blonde started to gag and cough.

“ _Shimatta!_ ” Ranma blurted quickly while Clover coughed in front of him, dropping to one knee as he rubbed the blonde’s back. “I'm sorry, Clover-chan!  It just felt good and I couldn't help it—”

“Ranma, relax.” Clover gave him a slight smile, though her tone was hoarse.  It cleared up quickly though and she reassured him happily, “I'm old hat at this kind of thing, but you gotta remember my throat’s not like my pussy; you _always_ go slow when you pull out, okay?”

Ranma flushed at the frank language and nodded, “ _Hai_ , Clover-chan.”

“God, I'll never get tired of hearing that.” Clover smiled widely, her voice completely back to normal as she and Ranma got to their feet.

Once she had the chance, Clover kissed Ranma again, surprising him at the strong flavor of cherries until he glanced down and noticed the word [flavored] on the box of condoms.  Rolling his eyes while thinking, (Of course.) with amusement, Ranma hooked his hand underneath one of Clover’s knees and lifted it up onto his hip, which made his bright red hard-on slide down her groin and closer to her entrance.

“Oh, you want to get back to it?” Clover purred as she reached down and gave him a few tugs. “So do I.  But we need to plan first.”

“Plan?” Ranma breathed as she slipped his hard on underneath her sex.

“Yeah, silly man.” Clover grinned cheekily as she started giving the top of Ranma’s prick long wet kisses. “We’ve done it in your bed, but where's the next stop?”  Her smile widened as the crimson cheeked look of ‘Oh HELL yes’ came to Ranma’s eyes as she whispered, “There's a lot of places for us to fuck, Ranma. Pick one, and let's get started.”

-0-

See Alex run.

Alex runs fast.

Alex is running towards the house of her best friend’s boyfriend in the hopes of having a debaucherous 3-way with said boyfriend and best friend.

Run Alex, run.

In short order, Alex reached the block containing the row of modestly cheap apartment building’s and cookie-cutter homes, one of which housed two people who were fucking the hell out of each other.  As she zeroed in on the home in question, Alex panted for air and wondered if she’d ever been as hot as she was at that moment. The combination of physical exertion with what she’d seen had her debating if she’d be able to make it to Ranma’s front door before collapsing into a puddle of moaning goo, or if she would mind if that happened.

Somehow, she managed to hold on until she’d reached his front door, coming to a stop to catch her breath and mentally prepare herself for what might or might not be coming next.  But the sound of Clover screaming, _“Ranma, you fucking_ stud! _Oh my_ GOD!!! _”_ revealed that her friend was apparently the answer to that question as Alex gave a tormented whine and locked her knees together, trying vainly to ignore just how soaked her panties felt as she reached for the doorbell.

-0-

“Oh _fuck!_ ” Clover screamed as Ranma slammed home again, the sharp, flat impact of her ass against the hallway wall amping up her pleasure as her beau effectively used his house to spank her while they rutted.  The feeling was rather new to her and she had absolutely no problems with it as she moaned, “That's it! Fuck me up, Ranma!”

In the half-hour since the blonde had brought up the idea of taking the ‘Indian’ approach to screwing her boyfriend in his apartment, I.E. using _everything_ ; Ranma had given Clover several orgasms in three different locations.

The first had been on his kitchen table, which Clover had wondered briefly why it was low enough to the ground that he was able to kneel on the floor rather than stand, but she wasn’t going to complain as he’d propped one of her ankles on his shoulder and literally screwed her sideways.

The second had been with her standing on tip-toes, hanging over the back of his love-seat and accidentally putting small semi-circular gouges the cushions with her fingernails as he fucked her from behind. There’d been a close call as the sight of her jiggling ass against his waist almost made Ranma pop, except Clover’s demand that he pull out immediately had prevented him from erupting again.  The fact that Ranma didn’t hesitate or argue against her request only solidified her assertion that she had found a ‘keeper’ while she made a mental note to be more careful, lest her boyfriend, who _had_ to have some kind of limits, ran out of steam before Alex arrived.

The third and current coupling had resulted from Ranma picking Clover up and pressing her against the nearest wall before inserting himself in less than a moment and subsequently being ‘trapped’ from the blonde’s legs wrapping around his waist.  As Ranma forced her walls open, spearing her with every thrust at a rapid tempo that brought her pleasure higher and made her fluids drip off of Ranma’s sack as she neared release, Clover became a believer in the divine and she started praising every deity she could think of for the fuck of a lifetime, as the sexually aggressive valley girl was getting a no-holds-barred deep-dicking and loving every second of it.

“Oh God!” Clover screamed, pressing the back of her head against the wall as her body started to seize in pleasure. “Oh my _God_ , Ranma!  I'm gonna cum!  I'm gonna **cum!** ”

“Do it, Clover!” Ranma replied eagerly while grinning widely, enjoying how _easy_ it felt to hold himself back with the relatively thin strip of rubber keeping the edge off as his cock pistoned inside his girlfriend. “Cum for me!”

Clover’s voice warbled as her pussy spasmed around his length, and with a final clench, let out a wail worthy of any banshee and clung to him, her fingers digging into his shoulders as she came.  Ranma slammed home as she achieved release and gave a low moan of appreciation as her sex attempted to milk him dry, which would be for naught due to both the rubber and the restraint it was giving him, along with the added stamina from the earlier busted nut.  The feeling of her juices flowing out of her pussy and down his dick to drip off his balls only made him feel even better, both from the pleasure he was receiving as well as the joy he was bringing to her.

Unfortunately, the bliss of being buried to the hilt in a wildly orgasming girl was abruptly cut off by the ringing of his doorbell.

Ranma’s head snapped to his left, gaping in fear at his front door, which was less than 15 feet away from where he’d just given his very _loud_ girlfriend a monstrous orgasm.  Ice-water ran down his spine and even Clover’s warm sex couldn’t stop his erection from flagging as he braced for an inevitable explosion and threats against his body and manhood, not necessarily in that order.

Clover moaned as her orgasm faded, quicker than she would have liked due to the fact that her cunny was suddenly feeling very lonely, and opened her eyes to see her beau staring at his front door in abject fear.  Taking his expression and shrinking member as a sign that he wasn’t a latent exhibitionist, and probably worried about getting in trouble with his neighbors, the blonde spy grinned and breathed, “Hey.” to get his attention.

As he looked at her with wide, fearful eyes, she said, “I’ll get it, Ranma.  I know who it is.”

Ranma blinked, his terror fading along with the methods of escape he’d immediately started running through as he asked, “You do?”

“Mm-hmm,” Clover smiled sultrily and gave him a peck on the lips. “So like, let me down, and I’ll be back in a second.”

Her affectionate behavior brought a small laugh from Ranma as he grabbed two handfuls of Clover’s ass and stepped away from the wall, enjoying the way the muscles under his palms flexed as she unwrapped her legs from his waist and stood up.  With one last peck and a quick giggle, she strolled away from him, or at least attempted to with moderate success due to her post-coital sealegs. Ranma chuckled at the sight, then froze as he lust-fogged brain managed to connect a few neurons and he hissed, “Clover-chan, stop!  You’re not dressed!”

Looking over her shoulder, Clover smirked at him and said, “I know.” before giggling at his dumbfounded expression as she reached the entrance to his domicile.  After taking a quick look through the peephole to confirm what she’d surmised, Clover unlocked the door and slowly pulled it open, revealing herself in all her unclad glory to her friend and soon-to-be lover as she cheerily said, “Like, heya Alex!  What’re you doing here?”

Alex was stunned into near paralysis by what she saw.  While it was the worst kept secret in all of Bev High that Clover was the most ‘sexually liberated’ girl on campus, it was a whole other matter to be confronted by one of her two best friends, bare-ass naked with a post-orgasmic flush showing through her creamy white skin and a shit-eating grin that said she knew damn good and well she looked she had been having wild sex and ironically, did not give a single fuck about it.

After a few minutes of taking in the tableau, movement caught Alex’s eye, and she saw Ranma coming up behind Clover, similarly naked save for a purple rubber covering his dick.  He froze and his eyes bugged comically as he blurted, “Alex!? What’re—" before looking down at his dick and blurting out _“Shimatta!”_ as he covered himself.  The sight made Alex giggle and Clover burst out laughing at his embarrassed pose.

“Like, oh my God, Ranma!  Why’re you being so shy?” The blonde smiled widely. “After all, it’s not like we’ve never seen it before.  Or are you afraid your python will scare Alex?”

“Clover, close the door!”

The blonde shrugged and said, “Okay.” Before gesturing for Alex to step inside.  The latina did so with steps that were somewhat smooth and robotic, like she’d been hypnotized and not fully aware of her surroundings.  Once she was inside, Clover closed the door behind her friend and clicked the locks before turning to her beau and resting her hands on her hips as she purred, “Well, Ranma?  What do you think?”

which she did with a smooth, almost hypnotic gait.  Shutting the door behind her friend, Clover clicked the locks and turned to her beau, resting her hands on her hips as she purred, “Well, Ranma?  What do you think?”

“W—What do I think?!” He repeated as his eyes flicked between Clover and Alex, obviously panicked from having two attractive girls, who were attracted to **him** , in the same room and at the same time.  What little in him that wasn’t screaming (Run now! Far and _fast_!) was resignedly opining, (If you run, you’ll only die tired…) while aloud, the pigtailed boy asked nervously, “Why is Alex here?!”

“I invited her.” Clover said simply, reaching out to her friend and looping an arm around Alex’s waist, making the latina _‘eep!’_ as she was startled out of her appreciation for Ranma’s body.  Pulling her friend tighter so they were hip-to-hip, Clover smirked at her boyfriend in a smug fashion. “‘Cause like, I thought I would need some backup taming this stallion, and since Alex the only one besides me with any experience busting broncos, she was the most obvious person to call.”

Ranma gaped in shock, unable and unwilling to believe what he was hearing was truth.  He’d somehow ended up with multiple girls chasing him, as he had in Nerima, but they weren’t going to fight over him.  In fact, they were willing to _share_ him.  This situation went against every law of romantic physics he’d learned in Japan, and he could only murmur, “She…you…but cheating…”

“I told Alex,” Clover smiled at her bestie, who briefly met the blonde’s gaze before blushing and looking down with embarrassment. “It’s not cheating if we’re together, right?  So like, if Alex needs a bit of relief, she can count on both of us for help.”

Say what you will about the stupidity of teenagers and their hormones, there are times where lust can act as a mental stimulant rather than a hallucinogen, and Ranma’s desires quickly squashed all the doubting, paranoid thoughts flitting through his brain in favor of the idea that this _was_ real, that his girlfriend _did_ want him to bang the hell out of her best friend, and _no_ , he wouldn’t get in trouble for it later.  Slowly letting his hands drop to his sides and exposing his rubber-clad cock, which began to swell as the fear abated, Ranma met Clover’s eyes and said, “Clover-chan…if you’re _really_ sure about this…”

“Ranma,” Clover said in a commanding, lustful tone that was completely at odds with the mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Get over here, and screw Alex’s brains out.”

Alex _‘eep!’_ -ed again, and she covered her face with her hands.  Seeing this, Ranma stepped up to her and gently held her shoulders.  She twitched at his touch, and he said seriously, “Not unless she wants me to, Clover-chan.”

Alex paused, and slowly raised her eyes, meeting the stormy-grey irises of the boy who’d deflowered her the day before and seeing nothing but sincere concern for her well-being.  Her chest felt tight as she looked at Ranma, and apparently wasn’t the only one as Clover said in a touched voice, “You like, just keep raising the bar, Ranma.” Alex looked at her friend as Clover stepped around, wrapping her other arm around Ranma’s waist so she was effectively binding the two of them together as she met Alex’s eyes and said, “Come on, Alex.  You _gotta_ fuck him after that!  Whaddya say?”

Alex took a moment to regard the two lovers before her, her eyes flicking between theirs for a few moments before her lips parted and she gave her answer.

-0-

“YES!!!” Alex threw her head back and howled with joy, cutting an almost stereotypical image of the wolf baying at the moon as her hips spasmed and bucked against her lovers’ probing lips and tongues with squeals of, “Yes, right there!  Right there, right there, right there, oh my fucking _GOD!!!_ ”

Clover laughed delightedly, enjoying the way Alex’s pussy squeezed her tongue while the blonde’s hand ceased it’s rough groping of her bestie’s ass long enough to rise up and give one brown cheek a light swat, sending jiggles through Alex’s butt and spasms through her pussy as the crack of skin-on-skin contact faded.  Below her, Ranma was smiling and focusing his attention on flicking Alex’s clit like a lightswitch and savoring the taste of the latina’s fluids as they streamed down her sex and off his girlfriend’s chin.

At Clover’s direction and assistance, the three teens had adjourned to Ranma’s couch, and she’d told Alex that she needed to have a bit more of an education in sexual matters than simply getting dicked, although she did admit that her ‘cute naive friend’ could take it like a champ.  With that in mind, Ranma had lain back as Alex had straddled his head and the two found themselves face-to-groin with each other’s nethers. While Ranma had plenty of tricks up his sleeve, he now found himself on the other end of first-timer’s jitters as Alex had nervously wanked him a few times before trying to suck his prick, which made him _very_ glad he was wearing protection as she hadn’t known how to keep her teeth clear of his sensitive bits.  Of course, his rubber had apparently gotten a hole in it, (or so Clover had said) and it had been removed before Clover told Alex to wait until the blonde could personally tutor her on blowing a guy's ‘mind’.

While the excuse she made was to help Alex relax, the real reason Clover was diving into Alex’s clam at the same time as Ranma was because she wanted to pick up some awesome tricks from her beau, which is why she pulled tongue from Alex’s slit long enough to whisper, “Now?” In giddy anticipation.

“Not yet.” Ranma smiled at her as he raised his head, quickly darting his tongue out to meet hers so they could briefly taste each other along with their mutual friend’s nectar before saying, “Just a few seconds more, get ready!”

Grinning widely, Clover and Ranma went back to work, her painting the inside of Alex’s walls like a brush across a canvas while he buzzed her button, until Alex’s voice rose to a trembling falsetto that brought matching smirks to both their faces as the latina moaned, “Oh F—F—Fuck me!  Fucking hell, I’m gonna fucking cum! I’m fucking cumming, I’m _cumming_ , I’m **cum** —”

Ranma shouted, “NOW!” as he and Clover both pulled away from their duties to press their cheeks together, and send dual streams of cold air over Alex’s nethers, making their friend and lover’s orgasmic cries reach full operatic level for a moment.  Then they dove in and used both their tongues to double-team Alex’s now extra sensitive nub and the latina fell almost silent, although the fact that dogs suddenly began barking and howling around the neighborhood made it clear just how high her pitch had gone while she soaked both Ranma and Clover’s faces with her fluids.

“Like, wow!” Clover said after a few quick slurps brought some excess girl-cum from around her mouth and sliding down her throat. “She squirted!  I didn’t think Alex could squirt!”

“Really?” Ranma looked at his girlfriend curiously. “I thought all girls did that?”

Clover smiled at her boyfriend in incredulous amusement. “What?  No, why would you think that?”

“Well, you squirted when I did the same thing to you on Friday.”

Clover’s eyes gleamed wickedly and she briefly planted her lips against his, voraciously violating his mouth with her tongue before pulling free and growling happily, “That’s ‘cause your little trick is fucking _amazing_ , Ranma.”  Straightening up, she smirked at him as she added, “Now it’s time for me to show you a cool trick, stud.” before walking around towards Alex’s face.

Finding the latina panting with her eyes closed, arms rigid like support beams for a precariously balanced building, Clover’s smile turned gently puckish as she laid across the opposite arm of Ranma’s loveseat, resting her waist against the armrest as she gave the still cum-shocked Alex an exploratory kiss.  Her bestie ‘woke up’ quickly, her tongue lazily returning Clover’s movements as her eyes fluttered and she came back down to Earth to find her blonde friend frenching her with a smile, before Clover pulled back and chirped, “Feel good, Alex?”

“Clover…” Alex breathed quietly, “What _was_ that?”

“Like, some ‘secret technique’ Ranma thought up.” Clover replied with a giggle as she reached down and stroked her beau’s shaft. “He _totally_ thought of a way to make sex like martial arts, and if you know how to read someone’s body right, you can play them like a harp!” Looking down to Ranma’s prick, Clover smiled as she said, “But two can play at that game, right, Alex?”

“R—Right, Clover.” Alex murmured as her body finally finished with the waves of fire from the monstrous orgasm she’d gone through, following Clover’s gaze and likewise getting into a staring contest with Ranma’s one-eyed python.

Returning her eyes to Alex, Clover smiled as she moved in closer, so her lips were brushing against her friend’s as she cheerly whispered, “Now listen, Alex.  You can fuck Ranma if you want to, but he’s only one guy. Stud he might be, but this _might_ be his limit for awhile.”

Alex’s eyes narrowed as she concentrated on her friends words with some difficulty.

“So, you can either learn how to suck him off right now, and have to wait a bit before he can get it up again, or you can just mount up and ride the wild horse like you asked me to earlier.” quickly dragging her tongue across Alex’s lips, Clover purred, “What do you want, Alex?  You want to suck him? Or fuck him?”

Her eyes focused on his prick, Alex breathed, “S—Suck him.”

Clover smiled, and her voice rose so Ranma could hear her as she chirped, “Good choice, Alex!  You want him to cum in your mouth, or on your face?”

“In…in my mouth.” Alex replied, her own voice rising as confidence and lust overrode her normally shy demeanor.

Noticing Ranma’s cock twitch in her grasp, Clover grinned as she asked even louder, “You want to eat his cum, or are you gonna spit it out?”

“Eat it!” Alex moaned as she fought the urge to inhale his pole right there. “I wanna eat his cum!”

“Alright then,” Clover pecked Alex on the lips and sweetly declared, “Just make sure to save me some!” before lowering her head, with Alex soon following suit.

Ranma’s head rolled back, groaning with pleasure as a pair of lips touched down on his prick, which soon slid deep into a warm mouth that he knew to be Clover’s, as her tongue was sliding along the underside of his shaft.  His arousal was high from hearing Alex’s replies to his girlfriend’s questions, and he didn’t mind when she pulled away after only a few quick bobs. Especially because after a moment of whispering, he was once more imbedded between a pair of soft lips, though the angle made it clear that it was Alex who was tasting his length this time.  While the latina’s earlier movements were inexperienced and fast, now she moved slowly, the vacuum seal of her lips steadily moving down and up his manhood. He let out a sharp breath as Alex pulled up and almost off him, stopping when her soft, silken lips were wrapped around his ridge, leaving the tip of his dick in her mouth as her tongue began circling his swollen head.

The whole thing was driving him wild with pleasure when a ‘new’ challenger appeared in the vicinity of his balls, making his legs shake as Clover suddenly licked the underside of his dick, starting near the base and slowly dragging upwards along the tube running underneath, which made him moan both girl’s names in appreciation.

Clover giggled at the helpless, “C—Clover-chan!  Alex!” that came from somewhere behind Alex’s ass as she lathered up Ranma’s pole again, winking at Alex while she goaded her beau into giving up a big load of cum for her bestie’s first mouthful of spunk.  When the blonde once again reached her friend’s upper lip, she kissed the latina’s nose and whispered, “Good job, Alex! Now, suck him really lightly and get ready, cause there’ll be some pre-cum before he shoots.  Savor that a little if you want, but otherwise swallow it fast so you’ve got plenty of room for the real load.”

Alex hummed curiously even as she took Clover’s advice and started lightly suckling Ranma’s tip, both of them noting how his toes clenched in response to her new technique.

“Ranma blows _big_ wads, Alex, and I don’t even think Mandy has a big enough mouth to hold it all without swallowing.” Clover laughed and Alex smiled around the prick in her mouth at that. “So, gulp down as much as you need to so you don't gag, but try to save me some, okay?  He tastes _really_ good today!”

“Mm-hmm.” Alex hummed an affirmative while Clover dipped down and turned her head to the side before planting a deep kiss to the underside of Ranma’s dick.  Her mouth wrapped almost half-way around Ranma’s pole, she forcefully tongued and slobbered what she had available and moaned delightedly as she felt his prick throb and twitch between her lips.  Gradually, Ranma’s voice rose higher, and Clover proved herself to be the true master of _‘BJ-Fu’_ by sliding her mouth downwards the moment he’d called out a warning of imminent eruption.  Once his balls were situated on either side of his jaw, Clover sensually used her tongue to massage the magic fun-spot that had secured her reputation among the boys of Bev High as an amazing lay.

Ranma let out a howl, his back arching as his girlfriend hit the weak point which completely negated his newly acquired restraint and made his hips thrust involuntarily as he filled Alex’s mouth with his release.  Due to the close call and dismount from Clover earlier, it felt like Ranma’s body was making up for the aborted orgasm by firing easily twice as many shots as normal, and his eyes rolled back as the latina’s surprised and muffled moan was quickly replaced by the wet smacks and suction of her swallowing the fresh cream she’d gotten.

When the first blast hit the back of Alex’s throat, she’d swallowed it on pure reflex, but immediately regretted it as the taste hit her and she realized that if anything, Clover had _undersold_ the flavor of Ranma’s jism.  The latina had expected a man’s stuff to taste okay-bordering-on-bad, but now Alex wished she hadn’t guzzled that first shot so quickly, because the flavor and texture of Ranma’s cum was far and away from bad and much more than simply tolerable.  The thick cream was very sweet and had a hint of salt that made her moan happily and resolve to savor the remainder of the tasty treat she was being rewarded with for a job well done. As spurts of heavy-scented goo flooded her mouth, Alex soon found herself at cross purposes as she couldn't stop some of his excess jism from leaking out of her mouth and down his shaft, but Clover had told her to save some, **and** the latina wanted to taste as of his semen much as possible.  With a small note of reluctant delight, she gave a loud swallow, cutting the wad in her mouth by half as Ranma’s shots tapered off.

Smiling as the pulsing throbs between her lips slowed down while the last of her lover’s load finished shooting up and into her bestie’s mouth, Clover pulled away and rose up until she was eye-to-eye with Alex, though the latina’s eyes were closed at the moment. “Come on, Alex!  Where’s my share?”

Slowly, Alex opened her eyes to look at Clover with a hooded, lustful gaze.  Keeping her lips clamped around Ranma’s shaft as it shrank, she pulled off of him and tilted her head back as she gave a garbled, “‘ow do I gib’ id ‘to yu?”

“Oh come on, like you couldn't guess?” Clover rolled her eyes with a soft, affectionate smile before holding Alex’s cheeks between her hands and closing the distance between their lips, immediately sending her tongue out to collect her part of the tasty surprise Alex had gotten.  As the flavor of his undiluted spunk hit her, Clover momentarily cursed having waved away the chance to get a full serving of this awesome blend of nut-butter from the Saotome bakery.

Ranma panted heavily, his heart rate slowing to a more manageable level as he watched the two girls swap spit, along with a certain fluid he’d provided as they frenched each other hungrily.  While tempted to think he could get it up for yet another around, the fact that he was still shrinking despite the sight of these two beauties making out after cumming in one of their mouths made it obvious that he'd reached his limit, at least for now.  When they finished their kiss and Clover offered, “See? Totally yummy, right?” Ranma couldn't help but chuckle at her appreciation for his flavor.

“Yeah!” Alex smiled, red-cheeked as she came to grips with the fact that she had a guy’s _thing_ in his mouth and eaten his _stuff_ and not been grossed out by it.  Though that didn’t stop her from asking worriedly, “Umm, Clover?  Is it bad that I liked the taste of Ranma’s...you know?”

“Bad?” Clover looked incredulously at her bestie. “Alex, take it from a master, that was an **awesome** load to guzzle for your first time!  Why would you think that’s a bad thing?”

“Well…doesn't that make me…” Alex looked away, her cheeks reddening more a she struggled to come up with a diplomatic phrase. “…easy?”

With a sigh, Clover shook her head. “No, Alex.  Just because you think cum tastes good doesn't make you a slut.  Honestly, I don't know where you get some of your ideas. Just because I prefer to swallow doesn't mean I do it _every_ time!”

“You don't?”

“Pro-tip; asparagus is the _worst_ thing for a guy to eat before giving him head,” Clover shuddered briefly before turning a million-watt smile on Ranma, who’d been listening to the exchange with a crooked half-grin. “Luckily, we got this hottie on standby for nice, thick protein shakes from now on!”

“If it wasn't for the fact that I love you guys,” Ranma replied as he shimmied backwards, pulling himself out from between Alex’s legs to lean back against the other arm of his now-literally loveseat. “I’d almost feel like you only liked me because of how I taste.”

At the L-word, Alex and Clover both blushed lightly, with the blonde murmuring quietly, “Love?  Don't you think it's a little soon for that, Ranma?”

His thoughts going back home, a brief frown passed across Ranma’s face before he said firmly, “No, I don't, Clover-chan.  I'm not about to go looking for a wedding ring or anything like that—”

Clover and Alex shared a look, understanding immediately where Ranma’s thoughts were at the moment.

“—but right now, even if we were just friends and hadn't had sex with each other, I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life without the two of you in it.”

Alex and Clover froze, and they shared another look which Ranma couldn't decipher.  After a moment, Alex slowly turned around and kneeled between his legs, robbing Ranma of the magnificent view of her ass and pussy, thought it was quickly replaced by her bare breasts which contrasted beautifully with Clover’s creamy white chest as the blonde asked quietly, “Do you mean that, Ranma?”

Ranma nodded, the soft smile on his face only enhancing his serious expression as he replied, _“Hai,_ Clover-chan.  No matter what else happens, I want to stay with you and Alex…if you want me to.”

Both girls trembled for a moment, and Ranma felt a flash of worry when they both looked up and met his gaze with tear-filled eyes. His concerns were immediately brushed aside as Clover choked out, “Th—That's like, the _sweetest_ thing anyone’s ever said!”

Alex nodded in agreement with her friend and before Ranma could stop them, both girls lunged forward and grabbed onto him tightly.  The pigtailed boy was shocked into temporary paralysis from suddenly receiving a double amazon-glomp, except this time he wasn't hearing the bubbly giggling of ‘ _Wo ai ni_ ’.  Instead, both of his cheeks were being kissed over and over by two girls who couldn't decide between laughing, crying, or proclaiming their appreciation for him; and had apparently decided to do all three at the same time.  As he felt the warmth of their bodies and the sincere affection in their voices, Ranma slowly wrapped his arms around their waists and pulled them close, smiling with genuine happiness for the first time in a _very_ long time.

-0-

Sam gaped at the display in her hands for several minutes.  Seeing, but not comprehending what she was reading for the longest time, the redhead ran through the possibilities of what had happened through her mind over and over, but to no avail as there was no explanation she could think of for what she was seeing.

No explanation…except one.

Sam’s eyes narrowed and her lips thinned into a grim line as she set down the compact mirror/communicator.  Picking up her phone, she tapped out a quick text before unplugging the WOOHP communicator from her laptop and started working on homework.

It took a few moments for her spy tool to turn off on it’s own.  But in that time, Gladis last message stayed on screen, and resolutely broadcast the words:

[The Alpha info-blocker was activated by Agent Britney.]

-Omake-

Clover pulled away from Ranma and wiped away a few tears, smiling happily as she said, “That’s it, I’ve made up my mind.”

“Huh?” Ranma looked curiously at Clover along with Alex, whose lips were still planted on Ranma’s cheek. “About what?”

“Remember how I said I was trying to think of ways to pay you back for being such a sweetheart?” Her smile widened from ear-to-ear. “Well, I came up with something and it’s a good thing I brought along some lube, because tonight, I’m accepting _all_ deliveries of Sato nut-butter from the front **or** the rear!”

Ranma’s eyes widened comically and Alex’s jaw dropped, her face flushing bright crimson as she blurted, “Clover!  You’re gonna let him…go _there!?_ ”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” The blonde grinned cheekily. “But usually I don’t let python’s like his go spelunking my backdoor unless it’s a Friday and I’ve got a day or two to recover before school, but tonight, I’m making an exception.”

Ranma’s brow furrowed at the _‘recover’_ part of that statement. “Clover, if it’s gonna hurt—”

“It’s not going to be _comfortable_ ,” She admitted with a shrug. “But It definitely feels good every now and then.  I’m just gonna be walking funny for a little while afterwards.”

“Wait,” Ranma recalled a few comments his former-buddies had made back home regarding certain girls. “Isn’t that kind of thing obvious?  As in, something that the _kappa-onna_ would notice?” Seeing Clover grimace in silent admission of his theory, Ranma shook his head. “Then no, Clover.  I appreciate the offer, but not tonight.”

(He’s even turning down anal.) Clover mused to herself, her heart melting as she regarded the boy who’d come into her life in **so** many different ways. (That’s it.  I don’t care who comes after him, I’m gonna take a page out of  The Godfather  and give any skank who looks at him wrong the ‘Kiss of Death’.)

“Why would you want to do that anyway, Clover?” Alex asked with obvious hesitancy and a trace of disgust. “It can’t feel nearly as good in your heinie as it does when Ranma is in your kitty.” The latina blushed lightly even as she purred, “Especially when he…fills you up, _way_ deep inside.”

While Clover let out a quick chuckle at Alex’s innocent-dirty talk, and Ranma froze solid as one of the two girls laying on him started making sounds like those creatures which shall-not-be-named, something pinged in the blonde’s mind that made her cock her head curiously at her bestie. “Fills you up?”

“Mm-hmm…” Alex murmured, her blush deepening as she smiled sheepishly at Clover. “When Ranma stayed in yesterday, I could feel his stuff in…” She gave an embarrassed giggle. “Well, let’s just say it’s a _really_ good thing that I’m on the pill, neh?”

Clover’s eyes bugged and Ranma’s head snapped around to stare at the red-cheeked latina as the blonde valley girl sputtered, “What!?  He was—you could feel him _there!?_ ”

“Umm, I couldn’t feel _him_ -him.  Just his, you know…stuff?” Alex’s blush deepened to a beet-like hue as she admitted, “The first time, it kinda…hit the door, and the next time, I felt it go _all_ the way in, and it made me feel  ** _so_** good."

Ranma and Clover both regarded Alex with wide-eyed, utterly thunderstruck expressions for several moments. “Alex…” Clover said quietly, being the first to break the silence in a seemingly calm voice. “Are you telling me that when Ranma cums inside you, it gives you a cervical orgasm?”

Sensing that she had said something wrong, even if she couldn’t think of what at the moment, Alex hesitantly nodded in affirmation of Clover’s statement.

Another moment of silence passed before Clover spoke again in that same calm voice. “Alex, you know you’re one of my best friends and I love you more than I would a sister, so I want you to understand that what I’m about to say isn’t an insult.”

Alex and Ranma both looked quizzically at Clover, the former with more nervous trepidation than the latter as she said, “Umm…okay?  What do you want to say?”

“You lucky _bitch_.”

**-Author’s notes-**

Regarding Ranma’s debacle: Yes, I’m saying that he is to computers what Ryoga is to maps or Akane is to kitchens, because fuck you, I think that’s _hilarious_.

I pray I’ll be able to get Chapter 4 out sooner than it took for this one to finally manifest.  Most of my trouble came from the fact that I had a BITCH of a time from imaging AAAALLLLLL the debaucherous ways Clover, Alex, and Ranma were going to fuck like rabbits, but I didn’t want to overload the fic and make it drag out even longer.

So, we’ll find out how hard the fecal matter is going to strike the oscillating rotational device in chapter 4, and in the meantime, enjoy the minor additions and Omake I’m adding to the previous two chapters.


	4. Truth and Consequences can be Such a Bummer

Ahh, I have to say, it’s so much FUN to write for a character who’s either A; the goofy kind of batshit crazy, B: drunk as hell, or C: high as a kite. I’m not sure if that says something good or bad about myself, but I don’t give a fuck, it kept what is a rather important scene from being boring as _hell_.

I have to note on this chapter that, rather than having the last half containing all the sexy time shenanigans, (Believe it or not, that was coincidental after I got the first three down) this one starts off with a recap of what was left out of Chapter 3, and ends with a very small one-off scene.  The rest is thick, meaty plot.

So, hopefully you enjoy this more than Ranma and the girls will, because the fecal matter is about to hit the oscillating rotational device!

* * *

 

How I Learned to Love the Wild Horse    
Chapter 4: **Truth and Consequences can be** **_Such_ ** **a Bummer**

00000

“Imma do it.”

“No, Clover.”

“You can’t stop me, Alex.”

“You’re _really_ serious about this?”

Following a night of debauchery the likes of which would have caused several cardiac arrests and a typhoon’s worth of property damage back in Nerima; Alex and Clover left Ranma’s home shortly after dawn, freshly showered and dressed for the most part, (as Clover hadn’t brought any underwear with her), the two girls agreed that they would need a substantial amount of caffeine to make up for the lack of sleep from the night before.  While the pair were not well rested, they were **very** well fucked, which brings us full circle to the current conversation as they headed to their respective homes for a change in wardrobe and their school supplies.

Clover gave her mildly surprised friend a flat look. “Alex, Ranma out-fucked _me_.  I am at negative fucks, and there isn’t a doubt in my mind that he could have kept going if we didn’t have school today.” Clover’s eyes narrowed and she fixed the latina with a fierce, determined glare. “He’s a sweethearted sex-God whose only failing is having a bad reputation, and I’m looking up how much church rentals cost the first chance I get, because I am putting a ring on it, and you can’t stop me.”

“And what will he say?” Alex returned with a frown. “Considering how much luck he’s had with women and engagements, do you really want to drop that on him already?”

“Alex, Alex, Alex,” Clover shook her head pityingly. “I’m not going to marry him right _now_ .” Steel flashed in the blonde’s eyes as she intoned, “We’ll wait until after college and _then_ I’ll claim his dick in my name!”

Alex groaned at the declaration which sounded like something a conquistador or a holy knight would say, which made it all the more _wrong_ when referring to something sexual.

“Besides, you don’t have anything to worry about,” Clover grinned cheekily as she side-eyed her friend. “I’m more than willing to keep sharing him, even after we take the vows, even though it’ll be **cheating**.”

Alex choked and gaped at her friend, her cheeks reddening at the knowing smile on the blond's face as she whispered, “Oh my God…you were—"

“Awake.  The whole time.” Clover affirmed with a wicked gleam in her eye.

-Last Night-

Clover gave a soft sigh as she measured her breaths carefully, maintaining the illusion of catnapping while Alex and Ranma cuddled on the other end of his couch.

The trio were on their second time-out, relaxing with one of Alex’s favorite movies in between the epic session that had followed Ranma’s heartfelt statement of care and affection for the two girls. While they had been snuggled up on either side of Ranma, with Clover on his right and Alex on his left;  around the point in the movie when the ‘Shrieking Eels’ had shown up, the blonde had given a dramatic yawn and announced that she needed a bit of a little nap before they got down to round three.  Alex and Ranma had scooted down to one end of the couch, with the latina sitting side-saddle in ‘wild horses’ lap, while Clover had laid back and rested her head on the opposite end, looking for all the world like an innocent angel rather than the boy-crazy and slightly manipulative girl who’d masterminded this little scenario as a test for her bestie and beau.

It wasn’t so much as checking to see if Alex and Ranma would violate her trust, but rather, Clover had planned this set-up to see how well Ranma and Alex could resist the call of the forbidden fruit, as Clover’s stipulation to their menage a trois wasn’t in effect if she wasn’t a participant.  Now, she had not doubt that under normal circumstances, Alex and Ranma wouldn’t think of betraying her trust, especially when she was in the same room as them.

Except, as long as she was in the room, _technically_ it could be argued that they weren’t cheating.

And, their last session had ended with Alex riding Ranma’s face and being tongued to several minor orgasms, rather than getting the D she’d been hoping for.

And Clover had, with a not insignificant amount of regret and hesitation, jumped off of Ranma’s dick before he could pop again, under the guise of making sure he ‘saved his strength’ for later rounds.

So, Clover was seemingly out of action for an unknown amount of time, while Ranma had been slightly blue-balled and backed up, and Alex had yet to receive the custom-ordered creampie from the Saotome bakery like she’d gotten the day before; the entire scheme for the slightly nymphomaniacal and voyeuristic blonde to get a free show fell into place.

To their credit, it took a good 20 minutes following her falling asleep before Clover felt the couch shift slightly.  It was a hell of a struggle to keep from smiling, lest she give away the game, or peek on her boyfriend and Alex to see what had happened, but the thrill of a front-row seat to another wild hump-off had Clover dripping wet as she heard Alex whisper huskily, _“Ranma…”_

Taking a half-second to peep between her eyelids, Clover caught the image of Alex looking Ranma in the eyes, her hands on his shoulders with her ass firmly planted on top of his left thigh, while his erection stuck up between her right leg and his stomach.  The blonde’s eyes closed again, the image she’d captured speaking volumes of the silent conversation the pair were having and she nearly whimpered with giddy anticipation as Ranma said in a very quiet voice, _“Clover-chan would be mad.”_

 _“Yeah…”_ Alex returned, a thickness in her voice Clover would have found unusual, save for the nearly identical way she’d spoken shortly before begging Ranma to stick his dick in her ‘just once’ in the locker room yesterday. _“She would…but only if we…cheat…”_

_“If we did…even if we weren’t using each other, it’d still be cheating, Alex.”_

A needy whimper slipped from the latina’s lips that _almost_ made Clover sit up and order her boyfriend to fuck the holy ghost out of her friend as Alex whispered. _“I knooowww….I just…I…want…”_

A few seconds of silence passed.  Then the couch shifted again and Clover risked another peek, and she couldn't stop the smile that formed as Alex straddled Ranma’s waist and lined his dick up with her slit.  Clover didn't see the actual penetration, but the reedy gasp as from the pair as Alex sat down made it clear that Ranma was in as his arms slipped around the latina’s waist and he groaned, _“Alex!”_

 _“Cum in me!”_ Alex breathed as her hips started pumping, already working for her payoff while she whimpered. _“Before she wakes up!  Do it quickly!  Give it to me!!”_

Clover stifled a moan, but refused to stop her fingers from secretly sliding down to her groin as Alex latched her mouth against Ranma’s and sent her tongue dancing with his, while her ass jiggled with her efforts to make him give up the goods.  On the whole, the particular scene of the movie shedding light over their erotic coupling was far and away from Clover’s first choice, as an epic sword fight isn’t exactly a part that screams ‘hump like bunnies’.

But the blonde didn’t give a fuck about that, as the clashing blades and witty quips were overshadowed by the moans and whines of her lovers determinedly working for the same goal, which were steadily rising in pitch as the finish line neared and only drove the faux-sleeping girl closer to her own release as well.  Moments later, a mumbled warning from Ranma was met by an eager, anticipatory moan from Alex; and Clover bit her lip as Alex was pulled tightly onto Ranma’s lap and despite their attempt to muffle their voices using each other’s mouths, the two proclaimed his release loudly enough that **had** she really been sleeping, the blonde would definitely have woken up and caught them ‘cheating’.

Though if Clover had to be honest, had she truly fallen asleep and the first sight upon awakening was of Ranma and Alex frenching passionately with red cheeks, chests heaving as the latina’s hips involuntarily twitched and thrust onto his prick; she would have been more annoyed that they hadn’t included her in the fun then the act itself, or ironically enough, at least let her watch.

 _“So_ warm _…”_ Alex moaned as her and Ranma’s lips parted, the two of them looking at each other through half-lidded, dulled eyes that would have made Clover think they were stoned, if not for the way her bestie cooed in Ranma’s ear. _“Your cum feels so good in me…”_

_“It feels good to cum in you, Alex-chan.”_

Clover bit her lip to keep from giggling along with Alex at the petname from their lover, while the latina murmured contentedly, _“Yeah, but you can’t feel my pussy all the time, can you?  But I…”_ she licked Ranma’s upper-lip teasingly. _“I felt you in me when I woke up this morning, and all through school.  A warm gooey spot in my cunny that made me feel so good…”_

(Damn girl) Clover internally whistled, impressed and intensely aroused by Alex’s commentary.  Her hunger grew when Alex gave a soft, exaggerated gasp and she whispered coyly, _“Oh?  You wanna make me all gooey again, Ranma?”_ and Clover nearly shot up off the couch as she realized that Ranma was somehow still hard.

 _“Y-yeah, I do, Alex.”_ Ranma affirmed with a nod.  Contrary to his words however, he grabbed her hips and gently lifted her up and off of his prick as he added, _“But once was enough…for now.”_

 _“I kn—”_ Alex gave a quiet gasp as his pole slipped free. _“I know!  Not until Clover wakes up…”_ She sat down again, though from their lack of reaction, it was obvious to Clover that there wasn’t penetration now as her friend looked into Ranma’s eyes with sincere affection and devotion. _“And that’s why I love you, Ranma.  By the way, Alex-chan sounds a little weird, so can you call me Alé-chan’ instead?”_

Ranma’s brow furrowed as he asked, _“Al-ay? Okay, but why?”_

 _“Alex is short for Alexandra [_ Aléhandra _],”_ Alex replied with a soft smile. _“I think it rolls off the tongue, don’t you?”_

 _“Alé-chan…”_ Ranma returned her smile as he nodded. _“Yeah.  Yeah, it does.  Now, let’s keep quiet until Clover-chan wakes up, neh?”_

00000

“Why do you think when I ‘woke up’,” Clover asked the furiously blushing Alex with a wide smile. “I said we should all take a shower, and immediately started ‘cleaning your kitty’?” the blonde lewdly drew her tongue across her lips and smacked them for emphasis. “You and Ranma _really_ compliment each other, by the way.”

“Oh my Gaaawwwddd…” Alex shook her head, covering her reddened cheeks with her hands as she moaned, “I can’t believe you were watching us!  Clover, I swear I would have told you—"

“But you didn’t want to me to get angry and call a halt to the party?” Clover cocked an eyebrow imperiously while Alex looked down shamefacedly. “I’ll admit, you weren’t totally grasping at straws there, but if you and Ranma make a regular point of ‘not-cheating’ like that, we are gonna have _words_.”

“I'm sorry…”

“Don't be sorry, be _safe_ .” Clover said with a not insignificant amount of concern. “I know it feels awesome for you when he doesn't pull out, but you need to be careful so you don't have an ‘oops’ moment, or you and Ranma will **really** be fucked.”

Alex nodded quickly, her wide, fearful eyes speaking volumes about the idea of ended up with a starring role in 16 and pregnant, even if she was 2 years past the cut off mark.

“Then again,” Clover tapped her chin with a faux thoughtful expression. “You could probably come up with something to compensate for that, if last nights little ‘sharing session’ was any indication.”

Alex’s fear was washed away by a wave of embarrassment as Clover smiled wickedly at her bestie’s crimson cheeks and purred, “Seriously, you’ve got a bit of a kinky streak, Alex!  I’ve never would have thought of something like that.”

-Last Night/Current Morning-

Alex whimpered as Ranma thrust, her toes curling as he bottomed out inside her pussy, grinding her clit against his groin.  When he withdrew, she moaned in disappointment as his crown brushed past her labia.

“Yes!” Clover gasped breathlessly as she was impaled on Ranma’s meat, his girth spreading her open anew as his hips slapped against her waist.  Then he pulled back and while she felt a flash of needy desire, the anticipation more than made up for it as she looked over her shoulder and called out, “Almost there, baby?!”

“Y-yeah!” Ranma grunted as he dropped his hips, repositioning his rod from the blonde’s dripping slit to the mocha-skinned girl pinned underneath her as he pushed forward, once again digging a tunnel in Alex’s box. “I’m close!”

Feeling Alex’s body quake, the warmth of her groin and the jiggle of her breasts transferring to Clover’s due to their bodies being pressed together, the blonde looked down into her besty’s dulled hazel eyes and cooed seductively, “Let the best woman win!” before ducking her head down to lock lips with Alex as Ranma pulled out of the mocha-skinned girl again.

Round three had been 2 hours of bliss, with both girls being given the ultimate in backstage passes to the Nerima Rodeo and singing Ranma’s praises in english and orgasm-ese several times before agreeing that enough was enough, not merely due to their own exhaustion and the late hour, but because Ranma had been holding himself back to the point of blue-balling himself, and Clover was not going to spoil the best fuck session she’d ever had by leaving her man high and dry.  Alex had naturally agreed with her, but to the blonde’s shock, had made a suggestion for a position where they could still ‘share’ Ranma, without needing to involve their mouths into the equation.

And so it was, Clover was on her knees and laying on top of Alex, groin-to-groin, chest-to-chest while using her legs as a brace to prop Alex’s legs wide open, leaving both their sexes ready for business with only an inch or two of clearance between them.  However, while Alex had suggested that Ranma should use the both of them to stimulate himself by sliding his prick through the gap between their body's and letting his dick be ‘kissed’ by their nether lips, Clover had upped the ante by adjusting their fun to a form of Russian roulette where Ranma would alternate between them until he blew his load.  The idea of being creampied again as opposed to having to clean a very sticky fluid off of her stomach and chest appealed to Alex greatly, and she’d agreed immediately.

And now, coming down to the wire, Ranma was warring with himself from both the desire to cum, and the need to hold back, if for no other reason than to figure out _who_ he should declare the victor of their game, even though the **real** winner would be him. (C-Clover-chan’s my girlfriend!)

The blonde let out an exaggerated cry of pleasure.

(But Alex was so desperate and adorable!)

The latina moaned his name.

(I need to make it up to Clover!  For-) Ranma gasped as his wrinkled sack pressed against his girlfriend’s sensitive nub. (-For cheating on her!  But Alex-) He gritted his teeth when his first lover’s slightly tighter and more eager sex pulled at him. (-it feels so GOOD for her!  I can’t decide!)

While Ranma’s brain was in a stalemate, his body issued a coup d'etat and took the dilemma into its own hands, as he’d pulled out of Alex and once again sank into Clover’s buttery smooth folds while casting his eyes downward.

Due to having ready access to a pair of breasts whenever he wanted, Ranma was slightly immunized to the effect of them, save for the truly magnificent ones.  Not having many reasons to easily examine his cursed form in a full-length mirror however, meant Ranma had a special appreciation for a woman’s backside and he realized this the moment he was half-way into Clover’s channel, watching as his rod disappeared in the nirvana just underneath her smooth creamy cheeks.

The debate ended in favor of the girl who’d started him down this path to a meaningful, sexually satisfying relationship, and Ranma let out a groan of relief and release as he pulled her hips hard and planted her ass against his waist with a smack, his body jerking as the load that had been making his balls ache slightly for the last half-hour was blown inside Clover’s wet and willing quim.  One, two, three forceful spurts were sprayed inside the blonde who squealed in giddy pleasure as his dick throbbed and hardened in her sex.  Then he heard Alex give a heartfelt, disappointed moan and felt a flash of guilt, which soon offered up an immediate way to rectify that situation.

Having gotten more than a bit of practice with the build-up of their little game, Ranma managed to slip from Clover’s box and bury himself inside Alex without losing any errant sailors, and let the pressure of the latina’s squeezing velvet glove coaxed out the remainder of his load, aided by her mewling cries of ecstasy as his seed formed a gooey wad in her core that she would feel for several days afterwards.

He thrust weakly against Alex, feeling her walls massage and squeeze his prick appreciatively while Clover looked over her shoulder and pouted at him. “Ranma, why’d you pull out?  I was enjoying that!”

Ranma chuckled weakly as his release petered out, having been successfully milked dry by his dual lovers.  The order was finally given to stand down, and slowly pulled out of Alex as he said, “Sorry, Clover-chan…Alex sounded so sad—" He hissed when his softened piece slid from the latina’s hole. "—So I kind of…shared?”

Clover pursed her lips and hummed in disapproval, which was a hell of an act for her to pull off as excess jizz leaked out of her pussy and ran over her clit, which brought some very pleasant tingles across her groin as she asked pointedly, “And I suppose you would have done the same if Alex had won?”

Ranma sat down, spreading his legs as he leaned back on his hands and assumed a relaxed, breath-catching posture. “Umm, yes?  I mean, if you sounded like she did—”

“Relax, _Rrr_ anma.” Clover rolled the R a little and winked at him. “I know you would have, and it makes you a total sweetheart.”

“Yeah it does…” Alex moaned with a sappy smile, her eyes drooping as the ‘warm milk’ she'd gotten quickly took her to dreamland.

Clover and Ranma chuckled as the exhausted latina’s eye closed and her breathing steadied, prompting Clover to give her friend a gentle peck on the lips and say affectionately, “She’s so adorable.  Like a well-fucked angel.”

Ranma laughed again and slowly turned towards the edge of the bed while tossing out, “Be right back, Clover.”

“Going to freshen up?” Clover asked teasingly as she rolled onto her side and cuddled up next to Alex.

“And get something to clean up a bit.” He replied with a smile. “So none of us are sleeping in a wet spot.” Clover stared at him for a second, which earned her a curious “What's wrong?” From her beau.

“Just wondering what I must have done in a past life to get you as a boyfriend.” Clover replied with an intense, studious expression. “Cause right now, I think I might have been a pope or a nobel peace prize winner or something.”

Ranma laughed at that, and gave her a wide, loving smile. “Clover-chan, trust me; if _anyone_ should be wondering how they managed to get so lucky, it's me.”

As he stepped out the door, Clover quickly wiped away the small tear that had formed before reaching up and lightly tapping Alex’s cheek.  The latina’s eyes fluttered as she was pulled back to the land of the living and looked blearily at her friend.

“Wait for Ranma to get back, so we can cuddle with him.” Clover said as she gave Alex a soft smile.

Alex grinned sleepily, and murmured, “Okay, Clover…”

Soon enough, Ranma returned with a few towels and wiped up as much of the mess that had been made by the trio, earning him a few appreciative murmurs from his lovers before the soiled cloth was deposited in his hamper and he crawled in between the Alex and Clover.

While laying on a bed with a beautiful naked woman curled up on either side of him should have had Ranma’s heart pounding with hormones or fear from the possibility of being caught by one of the members of his old life’ instead, Ranma listened to the soft breathing of the two girls, felt their warm breaths against his chest as they snored quietly, and a sense of contentment and peace settled over him such as he’d never felt before.  Moments after the thought of how much he loved his life at that moment, Ranma followed Alex and Clover into dreamland.

00000

“It was…just something I read…” Alex murmured ashamedly.

“Really?  Care to enlighten me?” Clover pursed her lips in annoyance as Alex vigorously shook her head.  Rather than press the issue, a different idea jumped to Clover’s mind and she gave her friend a quizzical look. “Speaking of information, mind telling me what you were doing when you disappeared earlier?  You almost missed the big finish!”

Alex’s expression morphed into one of ‘serious business’, which was far from the reaction Clover had expected as the latina met her eye and replied, “I was doing a bit of spy work.  And…”

-Current Morning.-

Ranma groaned, his head lolled back as the warm water of his shower flowed across his burning body, and sending motes of light rippling over Alex and Clover’s naked bodies as the two girls kneeled in front of him and used their mouths to pleasure his shaft.

Alex’s tongue briefly touched against Clovers as the blonde passed her by, heading towards Ranma’s sack while Alex was heading for the swollen head of his prick, the two of them licking half of the underside of Ranma’s cock with long, dragging strokes.  Finding herself wanting to renew that contact, Alex moved back and met up with Clover again, and quickly matched the blondes movements.  Clover’s eyes sparkled while she gently flicked the tip of her tongue against Alex’s, which the latina returned, bringing a pleasured hiss from Ranma as both their movements were felt through his prick.  With a giggle, Clover pulled back and said, “Like, this is the perfect way to end a date!  I always wanted to see if I could make a guy cum like this!”

Alex cocked and eyebrow quizzically while keeping her mouth firmly affixed to Ranma’s shaft, wondering if she could check the boy’s pulse through the vein throbbing against her tongue.

“Well yeah, I've never been in a threesome before.” Clover smiled mischievously at Alex. “And I bet I can turn it into a foursome before long, eh?”

Alex giggled cutely, which sent Ranma’s head spinning from the vibrations through his loins as well as the idea that anyone could sound that adorable with a mouthful of dick. “Doubt it, Clover.” Alex returned teasingly, giving Ranma a peck on his ridge even as she kept her mouth unoccupied enough to talk, for the most part.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Clover feigned a sigh of despair as she cast her baby-blue eyes towards Ranma’s face in an exaggerated pout. “I guess you and I will have to show this poor stud the kind of treatment _real_ girls should have been giving him.”

Alex and Ranma laughed lightly at that, when a thoughtful expression came to Alex’s face.  It was gone before Ranma could see it, but not Clover as she gave her fellow cocksucker a curious look.  Alex met Clover’s expression with a subtle headshake before smiling up at Ranma and saying, “Hold on a minute, okay guys?  I just realized my mom was supposed to call me, and I need to check my phone.”

Ranma, panting for air, managed to cover-up his disappointment as he nodded and said, “Okay, Alé-chan, that’s fine.”

“Well not for me!” Clover gave a genuine pout to her lover before side-eyeing Alex and saying in a semi-serious tone. “Don’t expect me to wait too long for you.  If he pops and you’re not here, I’m _not_ gonna share.”

Taking the hint to do whatever she had planned as quickly as possible, Alex blushed and said, “I’ll be quick!” Before stepping out of the shower, not even taking the extra time to towel off.

As she left the room, Clover murmured, “Girl needs to prioritize…” before looking back to Ranma’s cyclops and licking her lips sultrily. “Thankfully, I don’t have that problem.”

“Clover-chan, wait.” Ranma breathed as he looked down at her with a regretful grimace. “Just be patient, Alex will get back soon.”

“Like, duh Ranma.” Clover smirked up at him. “What did you think I was gonna do?  Give you the vacuum treatment while she was gone?”

A corner of his mouth quirked up. “The thought occurred to me, yeah.”

Clover gasped in faux shock and appall. “Why, I would _never_ do something like that!  Guzzling your spunk before my best friend can taste a drop?  What do you think I am, a cock-hungry slut?!”

Ranma swallowed loudly, suddenly nervous, even though a part of him was fairly-almost-please god-sure that she was joking as he said, “N-no, I don’t think you’re—"

“Oh, wrong answer, Ranma.” Clover’s outrage vanished like a light-switch being thrown and she grinned wickedly at him. “Cause I _know_ I’m a cock-hungry slut, and you wouldn’t have me any other way.  But…” Her eyes flicked to his manhood and her smile widened. “I can always show you what it would be like if I was cock-tease.”

The blonde had to fight back the urge to giggle at the expression on her lover’s face as she lowered her mouth back onto his dick.

In Ranma’s room, Alex was carefully looking through drawers, boxes, and anything else she could think of for information on Ranma Saotome.  The memory of Sam’s headache and Donna’s statements regarding Ranko Saotome had given Alex the idea to do some hands-on spying, looking for anything that would confirm (or deny) the siblings story.

Hearing Ranma’s increasingly loud groans from the bathroom brought a flush to Alex’s face and her chest, inwardly cursing Clover for putting her on a timetable and praying she found something quickly.  Her prayers were answered when she opened Ranma’s closet and found another box which was already opened.  The sheen of light reflecting off of something on top of the pile o’ stuff in the box made Alex offer a brief prayer in hopes she found something, before she crouched down and reached inside.

The latina frowned as she looked at what she’d pulled out.  It was a picture frame and within was a large family photo, though instead of Ranma and his family, it was Ranko with other people.  She blinked a few times as she registered the sight of a panda standing on its hind legs at the back of the group, but as nobody in the picture looked particularly disturbed or frightened, she wrote it off as a an unusual pet before focusing on the family itself.

Ranko was front and center, wearing a red and black Chinese silk shirt and pants combo, smiling confidently.  Next to her was a girl with short-cut blue hair in a yellow sundress, who was also smiling at the camera, but in a far less prideful manner.  Behind her were 2 more girls and a man.  One of the girls, a brunette with a ponytail, cut the very image of ‘suzie-homemaker’, wearing a yellow dress, white apron and a serene smile.  The other one wear wearing white shorts and an orange T-shirt, her light brown hair in a page-boy cut and an amused smile on her face, although there was a gleam of something cold and hard in the depths of her eyes that made Alex tense for some reason.  And lastly, there was a 40-something man had straight black hair that hung a little past his shoulders and a mustache, and he was wearing a rumpled black karate gi.  All told, it looked like quite a homey scene.

Except, Ranko’s bitter, emotionally fragile voice echoed in Alex’s mind. ( _‘An old training partner with three daughters.’_ ) she mused as she studied the girls in question. (Definitely sisters, and from what Ranko said, ‘Akane’ has a really bad temper.  The apron girl looks too nice to be a hothead, and…) Alex shivered as she looked at the other brunette. (She kinda looks like she’d make Mandy seem cute and cuddly.  So that leaves…)

Alex focused on the bluenette, memorizing her features and frowning as she noticed similarities between herself and the possible ex-fiancé of the boy who’d deflowered her.  Who was currently in the other room and being sucked off by her best friend.

Alex blushed and quickly noted down what she could about the family before carefully putting the picture frame back in the box in the same spot where she’d found it, then turned around and headed back to the bathroom before Clover ‘finished up’.

She sighed in relief as she walked inside the bathroom, seeing Clover’s head in front of Ranma’s groin, who didn’t look like he’d peaked yet.  But the way he was gasping made it clear he was getting there as he saw Alex and helplessly moaned her name.  She grinned as she opened the door to the shower, seeing that Ranma’s nob was between Clover’s lips and chirpily declared, “Thanks for waiting!”

As Alex kneeled down next to her, Clover ran her tongue against Ranma’s slit for a final time and gave him a wink, having satisfied herself between Alex’s disappearance and return by playing a variation of rock-paper-scissors with Ranma’s dick which could be dubbed, lips-tongue-mouth.  When she used her lips, it was entirely too-chaste pecks along his shaft.  Her tongue would only flick certain sensitive spots around his head and ridge; and when he was in her mouth, all she would do is pant heavily and bathe his cap in her warm breath while her tongue and lips teasingly kept their distance.

“Like, good timing, Alex.” Clover replied teasingly. “Cause he’s about to pop, and we need to finish up with a bang before we go.”

Alex smiled at her more devious and free-spirited friend. “Alright then, do you want me to share?”

“Not this time,” Clover called teasingly as she stood up.  Ranma and Alex looked curiously at the blonde as she leaned against her boyfriend’s chest and ran her fingers around his groin and the base of his shaft in slow, sensual rubs. “See, most guys would _kill_ for what Ranma got to do tonight.  It’s like something out of a porn-flick.” Clover looked down at Alex, her smile stretching from ear-to-ear as she purred, “So let’s end it with a good old-fashioned money-shot.”

Ranma looked confused, while Alex blushed bright red and her eyes darted Clover’s face to Ranma’s manhood and back again. “What are you talking about, Clover-chan?”

Clover winked and suddenly grabbed his shaft, making the pigtailed boy gasp as her tight grip contrasted with the softness of her fingers as she purred, “It’s called a facial, stud.”

While ignorant on the first slang term Clover had used, Ranma could easily infer what she wanted from the second and he let out a groan as she started squeezing his prick, moving her hand along his shaft in slow, deliberate movements while the barrel of his gun was pointed directly at the wide-eyed and red-faced Alex, who whispered, “C-Clover…that’s a little…”

“We’re in the shower,” Clover said without taking her eyes off of Ranma’s face, being an old hand (heh) at handjobs and not needing to see what she was doing as she preemptively countered Alex’s arguments. “You didn’t think cum would taste good until you tried it, and it’ll just be a one-time thing if you don’t like it.” Looking down at her friend, Clover gave Alex a smirk as she added, “It’s just like grade-school, Alex.  Open your mouth and close your eyes, and you’re gonna get a creamy surprise!”

Alex’s blush deepened, feeling strangely weirded out by the idea of Ranma shooting off onto her face.  But when she considered how much of his stuff had gone in and on her until now, having a guy cum on her face seemed like a foregone conclusion.  With that in mind, she did as Clover asked and braced herself for the impact.

The sight of Alex’s face in front of his ready-to-burst dick, waiting for him to coat her adorably sensual features with his seed made Ranma gasp as the flood walls began to crack.  Feeling his prick swell in her hand, Clover giggled, “He’s there, Alex!  Tilt your head back, and make sure to keep your eyes closed!”

Alex’s eyes scrunched up, which only enhanced the strange mix of cute and sexual as she exposed more of her face to Ranma’s view, her mouth open and her tongue hanging out in preparation for his release.  Then Clover moved in close, her breath hot against his ear as she purred, “Give it to her, baby.   _Cum_ …”

Ranma’s hips bucked, slightly throwing off Clover’s aim as his first shot nailed Alex in the upper lip, making her flinch as a dollop of jism dangled over her waiting throat while a thick string of goo ran next to her nose and reached almost all the way up to her right eye.  Clover kept an eye on the proceedings while she continued to hiss encouragement to Ranma, using his cock as a paintbrush to spread his off-white load across her co-lover’s features.  By the end of it, Alex’s cheeks, the bridge of her nose and her chin were coated in sticky goo, while Clover wrang out the last few drops onto the latina’s lightly frosted tongue.

Ranma was gasping, staring in disbelief at the girl he’d just painted like picket fence as she made a questioning sound without changing her pose.

“All done!” Clover said cheerfully. “And you look _totally_ hot right now, Alex!”

What little of Alex's cheeks that could be seen under Ranma’s spunk reddened.

“Anyway, I’ll help you clean up,” Clover added as she kneeled down next to her unmoving friend.  Leaning in close, she stage-whispered so Alex and Ranma could both hear; “Cause that's my share.  Everything that's in your mouth or left in his dick is your share.”

Ranma barely had a chance to moan before Alex tossed her head back and drank what was in her mouth in one swallow, and then leaned forward and took Ranma’s not-quite-deflated prick into her mouth and began sucking forcefully.  His legs shook as he found himself on the receiving end of the ‘twisting-snake-finds-a-pearl’ technique, or some variant of same as his too-sensitive post orgasmic dick was being put through a vigorous workout that made it hard for him to breath from the mixture of ecstasy and agony Alex was putting him through.

Neither Alex or Clover realized it, as the former was too busy concentrating on getting her share of Ranma’s load while she carefully and sensually lapped up the streams of semen from Alex’s face, but the latina’s quick and demanding sucking brought the vulnerable boy to release again.  However, the actions of the night before coupled with the back-to-back blowjobs thinned out the mixture by quite a lot and Alex simply moaned happily as Ranma’s cock weakly twitched in her gob and deposited what she assumed was a decent amount of ‘post-release’ jism onto her tongue, which she gulped down quickly while Ranma tried not to faint dead away.

-Current-

“So you know that they look like?”

Alex nodded, her face set in a serious line. “Yeah, enough that I could definitely spot any of them if I had to.”

Clover looked to the road ahead, lost in thought as she mused aloud. “With how hard Ranko was crying, Ranma probably feels the same way…” the blond frowned as she added, “Not sure I like him having a picture of his ex in his closet.”

“Clover, he probably cared about her a lot, even though…” Alex broke off and sighed heavily. “It’s probably just to remind him of the good times, since he knows he can’t go back.”

Clover hummed noncommittally before giving Alex a curious look. “Does that have anything to do with that _ronin_ thing you mentioned?”

“Yeah.” Alex nodded, looking a little more serious as she said, “It comes from samurai, and it means he’s been disowned by his family.  Which is a pretty big deal in Japan.”

“It’s a pretty big deal in America too.”

Alex gave her friend a flat look. “It’s a little more serious in Japan.  Just as an example; the proper way to say someone’s name is their family name _first_ and their given name second, and if someone introduces themselves with their given name alone, it’s practically a billboard sign saying, _‘I did something so bad, my own_ family _couldn’t stand to have me around.’_.”

Clover blinked at that, frowning slightly before saying, “Wow…that explains why he came here, huh?”

“He definitely stand out more if he just ran to a different part of Japan.”

“Especially because, nice he may be, but Ranma didn’t think to do more to change his name than shorten, ‘Ranma Saotome’ to ‘Ron Sato’.” Clover pursed her lips for a moment, then straightened her back and said casually, “Well, good thing he’s got us around to take care of him, right Alex?”

“Right.” Alex nodded in affirmation, before smiling and saying, “And if we convince Sammy that Ranma’s not a bad guy, then we’ll have her to help out too!”

“It’s like the three musketeers!” Clover agreed with a wide grin as she reached into her purse and said, “I’ll send her a message to meet us at school—"

Clover stopped dead as she looked at her phone, the little green-and-white box of a message she’d received sometime last night looking up at her, making the blonde’s breath catch in her throat as the words resolutely burned into her mind.

Alex felt a flash of worry as Clover stared at her phone, looking for all intents and purposes like she’d just seen a ghost. “Clover?  What’s wrong?”

The blonde slowly lifted her eyes away from the device in her hand, and met Alex’s gaze with an utterly bewildered expression as she passed her phone to her friend.  Alex’s eyes flicked down to Clover’s phone, and then she did a double take as she read eleven words that sent a shot of pure ice into her gut like she’d swallowed an ice cube.

[Britney’s been compromised and so are you.  You’re off the mission.]

00000

Ranma sighed as he shook himself out, straightening the sleeves to the blue silk shirt he was wearing as he readied himself for school.  While he was somewhat frustrated by the lack of sleep and the idea of attending school in such a state, the memories of the thoroughly unbelievable night more than made up for any exhaustion.  Even now, he cast a few prayers heavenwards, both in gratitude, but also begging for whatever deity who would listen to protect his two lovers from the wrath of the fiancé brigade.

As he walked along his carpet, he paused as his foot was suddenly damp, with no real explanation.  Looking down, he spotted a small, nearly indistinguishable wet spot in the dark carpet and uttered a soft, “ _Nani_?” As he crouched down.  After a few experimental prods, he judged the size and shape to be about the size of his hand and roughly a slim, slightly curved oval.  Or in other words, a footprint.

He blinked, thinking on when someone could have been in his room while dripping wet when the answer hit him and he whispered, “Alé-chan?” before looking around, noticing a trail of similarly dark spots leading to his bedroom door.  But the other end of the trail stopped at his closet.

Ranma’s eyes widened, and he slowly walked over to his closet, hoping futilely that he was wrong, even as he opened the door and saw that the cardboard box which contained a few belongings of his old life had been disturbed.  It wasn’t much, barely anything that would be noteworthy or written off as poor memory, but to a certain on-the-run pigtailed boy who was justifiably paranoid, it was a neon sign declaring that someone had been snooping around.

Swallowing nervously, Ranma opened the box and lifted out the picture frame of he, the Tendo’s and his father, and carefully inspected the contents within.  After a few minutes, he breathed a sigh of relief to see that Alex hadn’t disturbed the few bars of waterproof soap, instant Jusenkyo packets, scrolls of martial techniques, or worse; leafed through his father’s training journal as that would effectively curbstomp his new life and leave him with nothing but shame.

Slowly, Ranma returned the picture frame to the box, but paused for a moment as he caught sight of the people within.  As his eyes traveled to each of the Tendo’s and his father, he heard their voices in his head, or rather, what he thought their reactions would be if they knew what he’d done.

_“Boy!  How dare you betray your fiancée!?”_

**_“RANMA, YOU SHAMED MY BABY GIRL!”_ **

_“Ranma-kun!  Really, I thought better of you than this!”_

_“Ooh, this is quite a pickle you’re in, isn’t it?  Tell you what though, I’ll take 20,000 yen for_ **_every_ ** _person you don’t want to find out about this, and we can negotiate a new price next week.”_

_“Ranma!  Y-you CHEATER!  I always knew you would go behind my back!!”_

(No.) Ranma shook his head as he looked into the smiling face of his former fiancé, frowning as his eyes blurred with unshed tears. (You _assumed_ I’d cheat on you, and made sure everyone believed I was waitin’ for the chance to go behind your back.) he slowly set the picture frame in the box and added bitterly, (Looks like you were right, but now I don’t feel bad about it—)

He stopped, unable to believe he’d thought something so mean about Akane while the picture frame was still in his hand.  He looked at the bluenette again, frozen in a happy smile he’d seen very rarely in the last several months, and almost never stuck around when he noticed it.  The pigtailed boy thought about what he’d shared with Alex and Clover.  Not just physically, but emotionally as he recalled the affection, the trust he had in them, even as he wondered why Alex had been looking through his personal belongings.

_“My name’s Akane.  Do you want to be friends?”_

Ranma sniffled as his eyes burned, and he quickly wiped away the traitorous droplets that had tried to escape down his cheeks before setting the picture down and whispering regretfully, “It should have been you…” before closing the box, and getting up to go to school.

00000

Sam sat at the table in the lecture hall, an utterly nonplussed expression on her face as she rested her chin on the back of her hands, propped up by her elbows while she waited for the professor to start the lesson.  When a pair of familiar voices called her name, the redhead merely looked over as Clover and Alex not-quite ran up to her, the pair looking shocked and horrified while she regarded them both with a cold expression.

“Sammy, what the hell is going on!?” Clover whispered furiously. “Me and Alex aren’t compromised!”

“Really?” Samantha looked away from the pair and focused on the blackboard again. “Cause I don’t see it that way, considering how you two are acting like a couple of groupies.”

“Sammy, It’s not like that!” Alex says in a pleading tone. “Ranma’s a nice guy who _helped_ me!  And I said I was sorry!”

“Hmph.”

“Sam,” Clover hissed angrily. “If you don’t gimme a _good_ reason why you think we’re compromised, _besides_ wanting to prove that the absolute sweetheart Britney gave us bad intel on isn’t some kinda supervillain, I’m calling Jerry and telling him to give you some kind of psychological evaluation, because there is **something** wrong with your head!”

Now Sam showed emotion as she shot Clover an outraged look, while Alex fearfully whispered, “Clover!” as she looked worriedly between her two friends.

After a moment of waiting for her twitching eye to subside, Sam replied in a low, thick voice, “Britney put up a ‘last resort’ WOOHP computer virus that keeps _everyone_ from looking up anything that she doesn’t want them too, which is why I couldn’t confirm _anything_ about the story Ranma told you two.”

“She what?” Alex gasped in shock while Clover narrowed her eyes in confusion.

“The _only_ reason I can think of for Britney to do something like that is because she’s trying to **help** Ranma.  And if he managed to get Britney to cover for him so he could come to America, there’s no guarantee that _anything_ she sent us _or_ told you two is accurate.”

“Sammy, you _heard_ his sister!” Alex pleaded with wet eyes. “They were being used by their _monster_ of a father and they’re terrified of going back!”

“Did you think Britney got Ranma out of Japan ‘cause she felt _sorry_ for him?!” Clover demanded. “It makes a lot more sense than him _brainwashing_ her, or whatever the hell you think he did to make her help him!”

“Then why would she tell WOOHP that he was a terrorist!?” Sam shot back, carefully keeping her voice low as more students began trickling in. “If she wanted him protected, she would have told us to _guard_ him!  For all we know, that evidence was the last thing she sent out before his gang caught her!”

“Sammy, would you listen to yourself!?”

“No, **you** are going to listen.” Sam said icily, surprising her besties with the seriousness of her tone and the way her eyes hardened into stones like the emeralds they resembled. “The only reason I haven't told Jerry to take you off this mission **yet** , is because I want you two to see just what kind of man Ranma Saotome **really is** with your own two eyes.  You have one chance to straighten up and do your **jobs** before you put _everyone_ at risk because of some misguided crush!”

“S-Sammy!?”

“Sam!”

“But before I’ll even _consider_ keeping Jerry out of this,” Sam finished with a grim look at her two friends, who wore matching expressions of shock. “You are going to prove to me that Ranma hasn't done something to utterly brainwash you, _capice_?”

00000

“Ron…”

Ranma stopped and smiled, turning around to see Clover standing behind him, the other students of Bev High parting around them as he asked, “What's up, Clover-chan?”

Clover lowered her eyes, hiding her expression from Ranma, which made him tilt his head quizzically until she softly whispered. “I'm sorry…”

“Eh?  Sorry for what?”

She looked up, and Ranma was stunned to see tears in her eyes.  Before he could ask however, she said five words that stopped him cold.

“We have to break up.”

In a moment, everything around him faded away.  He didn't see the lockers, the students, the school itself or anything else except the sorrowful blonde in front of him.  His heart pounding in his ears, Ranma whispered, “B-break up!?” in disbelief and shock. “Why?!  How!?!”

Clover choked back tears, hearing the absolute horror on her beau’s face and she wavered under Sam’s demand for a moment, before the steeled her resolve and remembered what was at stake.  Though it was less the fact that Ranma really might be some kind of criminal mastermind, and more the look on Samantha’s face when she was proven wrong and how Clover was going to rub it in when it happened.  As angry as the blonde was with her friend at the moment, she wasn’t entirely dismissing the idea of re-consummating her and Ranma’s relationship right on the redheads bed once he was in the clear.

“I’m sorry, Ron.” Clover went on with genuine sorrow, hating what she had to tell the sweetheart she was being forced to stick on the sidelines. “But, I can’t tell you why right now…and it’s pretty obvious how—"

“Clover-chan, what’d I do!?” Ranma stepped forward, desperation apparent in his voice and tone as he pleaded, “Why are you breaking up with me?!  What’d I do wrong!?”

At that, Clover’s face twisted in a scowl and Ranma backed up a step, expecting an unholy tirade from his girlfriend, before she leaned forward and grabbed his chin in her hand, pinching it painfully between her fingers as she locked eyes with him.

“You listen to me right now, Ron Sato.” Clover intoned angrily. “You have done _nothing_ wrong and don’t you **dare** apologize to me.  This is a shitty situation, but it is a _temporary_ one and the **second** it’s over, I’m taking you on a week-long rodeo that will go down in _history_.”

Grimacing slightly at the harder than expected grip from his girlfriend, which said something as he’d dealt with pain far more debilitating than what he thought the blonde american could possibly subject him to, Ranma nonetheless felt a wave of relief, but also a fair bit of confusion as he asked, “But, if I didn’t do anything wrong, why are we breaking up?”

Clover sighed heavily. “It’s…complicated, Ron.” Before she lit him up with a sad smile. “Just…be patient and wait for me, okay?  I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Ranma nodded. “Okay, Clover-chan.  I promise.”

As he turned away, Clover internally raged and thought determinedly, (You’ll see, Sammy.  I’ll prove to you that Ron isn’t a bad guy.)

-W.O.O.H.P. HQ-

Jerry idly flipped through a few reports from his field agents, puzzling over their findings in various missions and investigations when a digitized feminine voice slightly above his head said, “Jerry, I have a message for you.”

“Oh?” The gray-haired man turned and regarded the M&M shaped piece of technology that housed his super-computer assistant. “Regarding what?”

“The medical team watching over Myrna Beesbottom has deconstructed a bit of the chemical compound that was used to incapacitate her, and are working on synthesizing an antidote right now.”

Jerry’s eyes widened and he smiled in relief. “Thank goodness!  I can’t tell you how bad it would have been if she’d remained in such a state for much longer.  When will the antidote be ready?”

“The team isn’t sure,” G.L.A.D.I.S. replied in a semi-simulated apologetic tone.  “But they believe it will be several more weeks before they can safely perform a complete purge of her system.  However, they believe they can make a ‘suppressant’ that will mitigate the effects and possibly aid Beesbottom in recovering from the chemical on her own.”

Jerry thought about that, though it didn’t take much time for him to run through the possibilities as he said, “Tell them to go ahead with the suppressant.  The sooner we can speak to her, the better, and we don’t know what will happen if she’s pulled out of her fugue state too quickly.”

“Yes, Jerry.” Before the spymaster could turn back to his report however, the computerized assistant added, “Also, the medical team would like to let you know that the bonding agent they identified is from an unusual strain of the _Rosa Atra Rosoideae_.”

The older man blinked. “A rose?  Someone used a rose to make the chemical?”

“That is correct, Jerry.”

Jerry thought for a moment, his brow furrowing before he looked up at the machine hanging from his wall and asked, “How long will it be till the suppressant is ready?”

“A few days.”

“Alright then.” Jerry nodded firmly. “Tell me the moment it’s finished, so I can talk to Beesbottom.”

00000

Clover wanted many things.  Purses, clothes, a good deep dicking.

But there was nothing she wanted at the moment than to scream in unbridled fury and outrage, with a close second being given to break down in tears.

It started simple enough.  Wednesday morning, two days after her break-up with Ron/Ranma, she’d flipped on the spy cam for a bit of self-love in lieu of being with her beau.

When she saw **HER** in Ranma’s bed.

Ranko Saotome, Ranma Saotome’s supposed sister was in his bed, fast asleep and buck-naked save for a pair of boxer shorts.

She brushed aside the question of why the redhead was wearing boxers in favor of what the FUCK the girl who supposedly didn’t live with her older brother was doing in his bed, with the sheets tousled like she’d been tossing and turning in her sleep.  Or had been getting worked over by the stud semi-ex boyfriend of Clover’s.

The blonde had been in shock and numbed to what she was seeing, only dimly registering when the redhead had awoken and made her way to Ranma’s bathroom.  But then she’d heard something that made her heart fall through the floor, emanating from the now closed bathroom door.

The sounds of a feminine voice in the throes of ecstasy.

The words were inaudible, but unnecessary as she didn’t need to hear the girl who had supposedly been related to her beau screaming his name in gratitude to know that’s what was happening.  While the sounds of bliss had faded after 10 minutes, the shower had lasted for another 10 and throughout it all, Clover’s heart ached and she whimpered pleadingly, “Please…please no.  He can’t…he couldn’t have…he **promised** me—"

And then the door opened.

And Ranma walked out, with a bath towel around his waist and a smile on his face.

In that second, Clover’s heart broke.

But in the next second, pulled itself back together.  But the pieces had stitched themselves back together into a muscle composed of pure anger and outrage as she whispered.

“ **You son of a** **_BITCH_ **.”

00000

Sam blinked as she looked at her phone, having gotten a text from Clover just as she was sitting down for breakfast.  When she looked at it, the redhead felt a simultaneous sense of elation and dread at the words [You were right.  Ron is a bad guy] from her best friend.

00000

“Ron…”

Ranma blinked, and smiled as he turned around.

Only to nearly be spun back around by the force of the slap that had been delivered onto his face, prompting him to cry out in pain as Clover glared balefully at him and shouted, “You…you _bastard!_  How could you do that to me!?!”

“OW!” Ranma shouted before looking back to his irate not-ex, while those around the pair watched in interest, as this sort of drama usually saved itself for off-campus shenanigans. “Clover-chan!?  What was that for!?”

“Don’t you **‘chan’** me you cheating asshole!” Clover snarled furiously, not caring who heard her, and in fact taking a bit of vindictive delight in outting a philanderer to the student populace at large. “I thought you were a _good_ guy!  I thought I could **trust** you!  But you stab me in the back by sticking it to that _slut_ redhead who came with you from Japan!?!”

“ _NANI!?!_ ” Ranma gaped in shock, unable to believe what he was hearing. “Ranko!?  Clover-cha—”

Her eyes flashed and her hand twitched as she fought to urge to slap him again.

“Clover, what are you talking about!?” He amended quickly as he cupped his throbbing cheek. “Ranko is my _sister_!  That’s impossible—"

“Yeah?” Clover hissed angrily, “Then why the **fuck** was she sleeping in your bed, **_Ron_ **?  Most brothers and sisters grow out of that shit when they’re 5!”

Ranma balked at that, wondering where she was getting this information from.

Except, he realized that he _had_ slept in girl form the night before.  But Clover shouldn’t have known that unless…

Ranma’s eyes hardened suddenly, and he straightened up, locking eyes with Clover and meeting her ‘spurned woman’ expression with one of cold suspicion. “Clover…have you been _watching_ me?”

Clover, remembering what Samantha had said about Britney being compromised, Ranma’s connections to a possible terrorist group, and now giving both those idea’s more weight, wilted just a little before snapping out, “What are you talking about!?  It’s obvious—"

Ranma’s eyes flashed angrily.  While still obtuse regarding most social situations, if there was one thing he could catch, it was when someone was dodging a question, doubly so if the perpetrator was a girl.  Memories whirling through his head of a manipulative faux-bimbo and a sociopathic page-cut brunette making him see red, Ranma spat, “Bullshit!  You _have_ been spying on me!” Outraged at the violation of his privacy, his lips curled in disgust, Ranma shook his head and muttered, “I can’t believe this.  Everywhere I go, it’s like I attract the worst women in a 20 mile radius.  Except **this** time, I actually **_trusted_ ** one of them!”

Clover froze, her eyes wide in shock as she breathed, “What did you say?”

Ranma, for once in his life, considered his words very carefully.

However, where he usually tried to make excuses or provide a valid alibi for the misunderstanding that had lead to a girl being violent towards him, this time he was absolutely furious at the thought of being _spied on_ by someone he’d trusted, with the wounds still fresh in his heart from dealing with the degradations from his Ice Queen ex-sister-in-law who blackmailed him into the poor house thanks to dozens of hidden cameras and tape recorders.

With that in mind, Ranma’s foot in mouth disease manifested **just** enough for him to channel his deeply held disgust for Nabiki Tendo, while his carefully chosen words were honed to a razors edge so instead of an accidental wounding, Clover was cut to the quick as he leaned in a little and declared icily, “I said, _kissing_ you was the worst mistake I’ve ever made in my **life**.”

Clover’s jaw-dropped, and those who’d heard the exchange gaped in shock at the liquid nitrogen levels of cold dismissal the transfer student had delivered onto his blonde-now-definitely ex-girlfriend.  In a flash, her surprise was replaced by pain and anger as Clover hauled back and screamed, “YOU **BASTARD**!” once again as she delivered a haymaker slap to Ranma’s face once again.

Knowing it was coming this time, Ranma simply hardened himself, in mind and body, and the only effect of her strike was his head turning slightly while Clover grimaced at the sharp pain in her hand, which she vainly tried to wring out as she glared balefully at the pig-tailed boy who’d abused her trust.  Ranma met her eyes with a frosty expression, and merely intoned, “Done?” As he seemingly ignored the pain of her strike.

Grimacing as a fresh wave of tears rolled in due to the throbbing pain in her hand and the pain of Ranma’s cold dismissal, she spat. “Yeah.  We’re **DONE**.”

Ranma nodded once, and said, “Fine.” Before turning around and walking away, leaving the blonde to cry to herself as he headed for his first class, not noticing the wicked delight in the eyes of a certain mulatto girl with long bushy hair, who melted into the crowd as she sought to relay this information to her totally-not-spoiled-rotten-boss.

For the rest of the day, the temperature of any classroom Ron Sato happened to be in would dip several degrees in temperature, prompting a few teachers to call in requests to check the school's heating system.  These requests were more fervent in the classes that Ron shared with a certain blonde girl, who he made a concentrated effort not to look at, or the redhead with a strangely satisfied and outraged expression, or the latina who looked even closer to tears than her blonde friend.

When school was done, Ranma went home.  All his thoughts, or at least the ones that weren't focused on maintaining the Soul of Ice technique, were on the faucet in his bathroom.  It was struggle to keep his calm when his front door shut behind him, but he maintained until he’d reached his source of relief from the events of the day.

He dropped the Soul of Ice, and waited the half-second to ensure that he wouldn't accidentally freeze himself before splashing himself with a faceful of water to trigger his curse.  The change occurred not a minute too soon, because as soon as he felt the familiar loss in height, with the protective shell of the Soul of Ice no longer in place, Ranma-chan gave in to the desire she’d held back for almost 6 hours, since the break up this morning.

The reason for the overuse of the technique, and his obsession with his home and bathroom was for the same reason he was glad that _Ranko_ had gone to talk with Alex, and not Ranma.

Because real men never cry.

00000

“Hey, _Ron_.”

Ranma groaned and cast a half lidded, displeased look at the nasally, snobbish voice that had grabbed his attention while he was fishing in his locker between classes. “What do you want, Mandy?”

“I heard you got **dumped** by the school bicycle.” The dark-haired girl smirked wickedly. “And I just wanted to be the first to say, _‘told you so’_.”

Ranma was very glad his hand was in his locker, otherwise the fact that his tightening fingers managed to gouge a few holes through the cover and about 20 pages of the textbook in his hand would have attracted a bit of attention.  Internally repeating his mantra of never hitting a girl, Ranma looked away from Mandy and said icily, “Well, you said it, so now you can leave before any fishermen come by, _Kappa-onna._ ”

Mandy bristled indignantly at that, and was a hair away from laying into him with a banshee screech, but thought better of it, as she had bigger fish to fry.  Fixing a relaxed smile on her face with some difficulty, the snobby girl put on the vaguest resemblance of a purr that came out as a low growl as she asked, “You sure you want to do that, _Ron_ ?  Cause you might miss out on what I can do with my _cap-ah_ , and I’ll bet it’ll help you forget all about Clover.”

-0-

Alex is a peaceful girl.  Happy, meek, and more than willing to talk things out rather than descend to name-calling and fighting.

Up to a point.

Because in the same way Alex could go from shy and reserved to _‘unhinged fucktress’_ under certain circumstances, those who push the latina too far would discover that she didn't have a ‘bitch switch’ as much as she had a big red button labeled ‘Khorne Berserker’.  Granted, this button had more mental security on it than most nuclear arsenals, but it was still there, and one of the activation keys was hurting one of her friends.

So when she went to talk to Ranma about the break-up between him and Clover, hoping she could play peacemaker or find some kind of understanding why her friend had become _convinced_ her boyfriend had screwed his supposed sister, and found Mandy propositioning Ranma for a revenge fuck; Alex found herself praying to every God she could think of, to keep herself from beating the ever-living snot out of the snobby bitch.

 _“What the hell are you talking about?”_ Ranma asked while keeping his eyes firmly in his locker, two of them not noticing Alex where she was half-hidden around the corner of an adjoining hallway, with the added camouflage of dozens of students wandering around and occasionally casting curious looks at the suspiciously behaving latina.

 _“I’m_ saying _,”_ Mandy clarified with a hard look, her smile slipping a little. _“That the best way to get over someone, is to get_ under _someone else.”_

As Ranma stilled and slowly turned to look at Mandy, Alex internally snarled, (Fuck it, Satan’s gonna _owe_ me for this, cause there’s nothing that anyone could make me sorry for the **ass-whupping** I’m gonna give this stuck-up—)

Alex’s fantasies of violence were interrupted by the sound of chuckling, and Ranma muttering _“Unbelievable.”_ As he shook his head. _“Here, I thought you couldn't sink any lower.”_

 _“Excuse me?”_ Mandy’s voice dipped into arctic levels. _“What's that supposed to mean?”_

_“Kodachi may have been crazy, but she never offered me sex just to get back at someone she hated.”_

While Alex processed that, she heard Ranma mutter in his native tongue _ <Spreading doctored photos of us all over town, on the other hand…> _

_“Like, what was that?”_ Mandy snarled while Alex filed away that tidbit for later.

 _“Just wondering,”_ Ranma turned to face Mandy, which obscured his expression from Alex, although she could _hear_ the cold, disdainful he had to be giving her as Ranma asked, _“Since you’re only askin’ me out cause you’re gettin’ something out of it; how does this make it any different than if you were_ **chargin’** _me for it?”_

Alex’s eyes bugged and the evil little Khornate in her soul howled joyfully as Mandy’s facade broke, but the snob was too shell-shocked by Ranma’s insult to do more than stammer, _“Y-you-You!”_

 _“Clover and I broke up over a_ mistake _, and I'm_ **_not_ ** _going to hurt her by going out with you.”_ Ranma declared with grim finality before shutting his locker and walking past Mandy with his books in hand.

Mandy recovered before he’d gone far, and turned around to screech at his retreating back, _“Well good luck getting anyone else to go out with you,_ asshole _!  That_ **_slut’s_ ** _done more damage to your rep then a fucking_ **_wrecking crew_ ** _!”_

Alex was ready to move in, though a little of the bloodlust had been satiated by Ranma’s crack, when she saw him stop.  Keeping herself hidden, Alex watched as Ranma turned around and looked at Mandy with a studious expression, his earlier annoyance fading as he asked. _“What’d you say?”_

 _“You heard me.”_ Mandy spat acidically. _“What, you got_ panties _in your ears or something?”_

Alex watched as Ranma considered Mandy for a few moments more, before he walked back over to her with a carefully neutral expression on his face.  When he reached the snob, he asked in a quieter, much more calm tone, _“Are you free on Sunday?”_ And Alex’s jaw nearly hit the floor.

(WHAT?!?  He was about to walk away!!) Alex’s mind spun as she tried to understand the sudden reversal. (Why the hell would he go out with Mandy **NOW?!?** )

Then what Mandy had said bounced around Alex’s mind and settled in the debriefing she had gotten with Sam and Clover before their latest mission, and the latina’s jaw retracted in record time as she made the connection.

(He thinks she knows about the Wrecking Crew!) Alex swallowed nervously, having _somewhat_ come over to Clover and Sam’s point of view regarding Ranma’s morality, but she wasn’t ready to throw in with them 100% just yet as she considered how _easily_ Ranma could have turned his knowledge of her weakness to his advantage. (Oohhh…what’s he going to do?)

 _“Like, what?”_ Mandy asked, clearly as lost by the turnaround as Alex was until a second ago. _“What brought this one?”_

 _“I mean, is there somewhere we can meet up to talk in private?”_ Ranma asked with a pointed look around at the passing students.

While Alex couldn't see Mandy’s face, she could **hear** the malicious grin the snob had to be wearing as she said, _“Hmm, you know, I think I do know a place.  Ever been to the Starbucks on Hollywood Avenue?”_

_“No, but I can find it pretty quickly.”_

_“Good, then we can meet there for a nice, private_ talk _.”_ While obvious to Alex, the emphasis Mandy put on her words which made it clear that shenanigans were on her mind went over Ranma’s head as the snob added in a faux thoughtful tone, _“Hey, do you mind if I invite Dominique and Caitlyn along and make it a_ ménage a quarter _?”_

While Alex internally groaned at the crime against what was _supposed_ to be French, and wondered what a four-person home had to do with anything, Ranma replied with a smile and said, _“Oh, those are your partners?  I should have known.”_

 _“I…suppose.”_ Mandy affirmed hesitantly.

 _“Alright then, I’ll see you Sunday!”_ Ranma said with a smile before heading away from Mandy.

Alex caught a glimpse of Mandy’s face when she turned around and it took everything she had not to come down on the brat’s maniacal grin like the Hammer of God, but her mind told her that there were other priorities at the moment as she moved away from her hiding spot.

00000

“You’re sure?” Sam asked, her eyes narrowed while Clover looked similarly serious, having rediscovered her focus for spycraft thanks to a lying ex being the target of her mission.

Alex nodded, having met up with her besties when school let out for the weekend. “Yeah, the moment Mandy said Clover destroyed Ranma’s reputation like a ‘Wrecking Crew’, he turned around and asked her out on a date.”

“And you’re _sure_ he didn't ask her out so he could get another notch on his bedpost?” Clover sniffed haughtily.

Alex glared at her friend, even if she did understand that the wound from her and Ranma’s break-up hadn't finished healing yet. “Considering he knew she was asking him out just to hurt you, and he called her a _whore_ for it; yeah, Ranma’s not interested in her like that.”

Clover blinked as she digested that, and while she wasn't about to forgive him, she nonetheless appreciated the slam on the number one pain in her ass.

“And he didn't mind her inviting Caitlin and Dominique along?” Sam asked pointedly.

“Yeah, he said something about them being her ‘partners’.”

Sam’s eyes narrowed as she thought about that. “I get it now…Ranma is _definitely_ involved with whatever happened to Britney, somehow.”

Clover and Alex looked quizzically at Samantha. “Why do you say that?” The blond asked.

“Ranma asked to talk to a girl who knows about the wrecking crew in _private_ , and he thinks the two girls who are always hanging around her are her _partners_ ?” Sam looked between Alex and Clover. “And you said Ranma would jump out of bed in the mornings like he was expecting to be attacked?  Or like someone might be _watching him_?”

It took a moment, but Alex made the connection and gasped in surprise. “Ranma thinks Mandy and her flunkies are **us**!”

“What?” Clover looked incredulous. “He’s not blind, Alex.  A dirty _cheater_ , but not blind—”

“He thinks they’re **spies** , Clover!” Sam said in exasperation. “He was looking out for other Spies from WOOHP, and he thinks Mandy and her backup singers are the team who are watching him!”

Understanding dawned and Clover went wide-eye’d. “Oh…oh crap, what's he going to do to them?”

While Alex frowned at the assumption that Ranma would do _something_ (obviously negative) to Mandy, Sam shook her head. “No idea, but we’re gonna be in that Starbucks on Sunday to find out.”

Clover paused for a second. “Don't suppose we can wait to save Mandy until _after_ he does to them whatever he did to Britney?”

“No, Clover!”

“Dammit…”

But while Clover was being berated for allowing an unknown punishment befall someone who Sam had to honestly admit deserved _some_ kind of retribution, Alex was making plans of her own.

00000

“So, what's the deal, runt?”

 _“Donna…I need a big,_ big _favor from you…”_

“…is this about that soccer game you got coming up?  Cause I’m flattered, but I don't swing that way—”

 _“OhmyGod,_ **_no_ ** _Donna!  That's not why I called you at all!……but now I am thinking about that, so thanks for making me even more nervous.”_

“Heh, anytime, runt.”

_“Anyway, I need you to do me a favor this Sunday.”_

00000

Mandy smirked as she looked at the clock on the wall, listening the hustle and bustle of worker peon’s, hipsters and barista’s as they handed out people's super-trendy/venti/mocha/latte/ drinks as the timer ticked over from 3:46 to 3:47. “What do you think? 5:00?”

“Nah, I say 5:30.” Caitlyn replied with a malicious grin, her and Dominique were sitting at a table with one empty chair opposite their ‘leader’. “Give him time to really spill his guts about the slut and the ‘creampie queen’, then we’ll head for the bathroom and leave him high and dry.”

“I think I should have trademarked that.” Dominique smiled in a pleased tone. “It just kinda… _Rrr_ olls off the tongue, you know?”

“Yeah, for some kinda fetish site.” Mandy said with a nasty smile. “If we had those _video’s_ you were supposed to record, we might have made some money off of that goodie-two-shoes.”

-0-

Clover slowly counted to 10 and ran a calming mantra through her head while Sam’s cheeks flushed a darker red than her hair, and Alex’s lip quivered in fear at the thought of her kitty and heinie being put online, nevermind while she was with a boy.

The trio were sitting several tables away, each of them wearing a variety of outfits, complete with fake mustaches matching their hair, of which Clover and Sam had tucked underneath a fedora and a derby, respectively, while Alex was wearing a bowler hat.  Overall the three looked like three very short, skinny metrosexual gentlemen…to those who weren’t within 50 feet of them, otherwise they looked like three girls who were cross-dressing as 3 older men.  As this was Beverly Hills however, being near enough to the bleed off crazy from Los Angeles and Hollywood, most let the three ‘undercover spies’ to their own devices.

One such device was a tube of lipstick surreptitiously laying on the table next to Sam’s right hand and pointed directly at Mandy and her cronies, while a set of earpieces fed the audio to her, Clover and Alex, the latter of whom was sitting next to Samantha and similarly had her back to her tormentors.  Clover however was watching the trio closely, and making it no secret that she’d give anything to have laser-vision at that moment as she unconsciously drilled holes into the back of Mandy’s head.

To her surprise though, Dominique’s lips pursed and she looked at her leader. _“Hey, Mandy?  I don’t think that’s a good idea.”_

Sam and Alex blinked at that, while Clover cocked an eyebrow and Mandy asked, _“Excuse me?”_ in a cold tone. _“Like, mind explaining why you’re getting cold feet?”_

 _“Well,”_ Dominique offered hesitantly. _“You kinda reminded me of a bit from when I was listening to his sister, and I don’t think putting those videos online would have been a good idea.  His dad and that bitch he’s engaged to might find him again if that happened.”_

While Alex was suitably outraged at the memory of being secretly recorded, she was also shocked to hear that little bit of concern from Dominique.  The sentiment was shared by her besties and Caitlyn as the latter asked, _“What are you talking about!?  Why should we care what happens to that dumbass?!”_

 _“Dominique, I know we can be a little mean sometimes,”_ Caitlyn replied to her cohort in a serious tone. _“But Ranko was_ sobbing _because she didn’t want anyone to contact her dad.  Like, I remember her telling Alex that Ranma’s story to the slut about his dad's training meant having beehives thrown at him was a lie, because the truth was even_ **_worse_ ** _.”_

The three spies frowned at that, each of them likewise recalling the sorrowful scene, though now there was a touch of bitterness in the blonde's heart as she and her redheaded leader both considered the idea that rather than a sister, Ranma and Ranko were star-crossed lovers who fled Japan to be together.

It said something about how hurt Clover really was, that she was seriously considering tracking down Ranma’s father and letting him know where his offspring disappeared to, up until she heard Mandy solemnly agree with her underling by saying, _“Yeah…that’s a good point.”_ The blond spy gaped in shock at her biggest pain in the ass, and the part of her mind that wasn’t bitter about being cheated on threw out a red flag, warning her that she had been ready to do something even **Mandy** wouldn’t stoop to.  Now feeling guilty the punishment she’d been planning out for her ex, Clover wondered if anyone else knew how she felt right now.

-0-

Outside, Arnold fidgeted nervously with briefcase next to him, where some wires were leading out of it and to a pair headphones around his ears.

He couldn’t believe he’d been duped-well, scratch that; the put upon and put down king nerd of Bev High could very well believe that he was once again helping Mandy with some less than ethical dealing.  Albeit, this time it was relatively minor, what with acting as a ‘backup’ for a recording they were making of the conversation they were going to have with Ron Sato, or _Ranma_ , apparently.

When Arnold had heard the comments from the trio regarding Alex, he’d been simultaneously shocked, embarrassed, and outraged.  While the first two were easy to understand, coming from the information that Alex had apparently done… _things_ with Ranma, the outrage came not from Mandy and her group talking about it so harshly, but from the absolute fury that came from the boy who’d had a secret, soft spot in his heart for the naive and cheerfully athletic latina.

His brief fantasies of gruesome revenge on Ranma were interrupted by Caitlyn's’ commentary on boy’s home life, if you could even call it that, and Arnold felt a small flash of sympathy and horror for the boy he’d been all but ready to cast a voodoo curse upon a moment ago.  When Mandy had given her measured and _not_ gleefully malicious opinion on the matter, and Arnold felt a little better about assisting her, knowing that she had _some_ limits on what she was willing to do to those who’d wronged her.

Arnold blinked as he suddenly found himself under the shadow of a solar eclipse, shortly before there was a tap on his shoulder and he turned to see the source of the eclipse was a girl who was at least a head taller than he was, wearing a red leather biker suit and with short-cut hair that was just a little on the burgundy side of pink.  While that was enough to make him blink like a fish, the smile on her face made him break into a cold sweat as he suddenly felt like a minnow that caught the attention of a Great White Shark.  The girl pointed to her ear meaningfully, and Arnold swallowed before slowly pulling the headphones away from his ears.

“Hey, geek.” The girl said in a rough, but jovial tone. “What’re you doin’ here?”

“Huh?” Arnold’s eyes darted back and forth, not seeing any source of aid from passerby, and knowing it wouldn’t do any good to run to Mandy or her friends for help, even IF he could make the 50 meter sprint to the Starbucks they were in before being brought down.  Which he doubted.

“Looks like you’re listening to some music.” The girl offered as she meaningfully eyed the wires poking out of the briefcase. “You hidin’ your iPod so no one swipes it?”

“Ah, yeah!” Arnold smiled too-widely and nodded like a bobblehead doll in an earthquake. “Yeah, that’s it!”

“Good idea.  Except,” Donna pointed to her ears again. “Use earbuds next time, cause otherwise it’s kinda obvious what you’re doin’.”

“Oh!  Oh, right, thank you!” Arnold kept his smile up, genuine relief showing on his face as he grabbed the headphones and raised them back towards his ears. “Well, I’ll just get back to it, if you don’t mind—”

Arnold squeaked when a hand clamped down on his wrist, stopping him dead as the biker girl intoned. “Let me listen.”

Arnold’s eyes widened, and he slowly looked at the now grim-faced and NOT smiling thug. “What?” He whimpered in a high-pitch.

“A buddy of mine told me some snobby _bitch_ was gonna try and screw over someone she liked.” The biker girl stated menacingly. “ **And** she asked me to keep a look out for a skinny little geek who usually helps the bitch out, cause he’s a total sap.  My words, not hers.”

Arnold hesitated, knowing he was caught dead-to-rights by someone who had no reason to give a flying fuck about his health and well-being.  After a moment, he sagged and gave the biker girl his best puppy-dog eyes as he pleaded, “If I let you listen, do you promise not to beat me up?”

Donna’s eyes narrowed. “I will not punch you.”

“Oddly specific…”

-0-

“Say what?” Caitlyn scoffed at Mandy’s serious look. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”

“Like, as much as I _hate_ Ranma and Clover, yeah.” Mandy admitted with a disgusted grimace. “You didn’t hear what he told the slut on their date about why he liked _me_ better than some psychopath back home.”

“Wait, he likes **you**?” Dominique cocked her head quizzically. “I thought he hated you?”

Mandy heard something that sounded like a snort from a few tables behind her, but disregarded it as her eye twitched and she glared at Dominique. “ **I** am not some crazy gymnast who’s in love with him, and likes throwing razor-edged hula hoops at people.” Mandy pursed her lips in satisfaction at her flunkies two thunderstruck expressions. “So yeah, he likes me more than _that_ , not that that’s saying much…”

“Razor-edged…” Caitlyn shook her head. “He’s gotta be making it up!  There’s no way that can be real!”

“Caitlyn, remember when you went out with that one guy…” Mandy snapped her fingers as she searched her memory. “God, the blonde with a corvette…”

Caitlyn looked at her blankly.

“…the one you traded up for his big brother?”

“Uuhhh?”

“He was big but had _zero_ stamina?!”

“Gonna need to be more specific, Mandy.”

Mandy snarled briefly. “The one whose ex was so crazy, she threw dog shit at your bedroom window!!!”

“Oh!” Caitlyn blanched and shuddered. “Oh God, _him!_  Yeah, I remember that.  Corvette or no, some things just aren’t worth it!”

“Yeah, well you know the eyes of a guy who has _means_ it when he says he’s been around crazy girls.” Mandy stated grimly. “And that’s exactly how Ranma looked when he was telling the slut about his crazy-assed stalker.”

Dominique and Caitlyn shared a mutual look of shock and appall at that, when the shorter haired girl suddenly paled and whispered, “Oh God…”

“Hmm?” Mandy glanced at her friends suddenly whey-faced look. “What’s with you?  You forget about a sale at Gucci’s or something?”

“No…” Dominique slowly turned to her leader with a haunted look. “Mandy…if that video of him and Alex went online…what would happen if **she** saw it?”

Mandy immediately matched Dominique’s expression and Caitlyn choked on the venti-frappe-mocha she’d ordered.  After a half second to hack up her extra-gay coffee, she shared the horrified silence with the other two girls and opined, “Payback is one thing, but I’m not getting charged with manslaughter.”

“Damn right.”

“Not happening.”

Consensus achieved, the three snobs turned their minds away from increasingly grim thoughts of what would happen to Ranma, Alex, Clover, or anyone who happened to be in the general vicinity if that crazy train rolled into town.  It became easier for them to turn their thoughts to other matters as Mandy saw a black-haired, pigtailed boy through the front windows and smiled as he headed for the door.

“Like, showtime.” Mandy said quietly as Ranma stepped inside.

-W.O.O.H.P. HQ-

Voices.

Colors.

Tastes and feelings.

A small giggle escaped from a throat Myrna Beesbottom recognized as her own, which was odd because her throat also felt dry and sore as hell.  Behind her eyelids, the technicolor dreamscape of wonderland was fading.  Feeling bored with the receding stimulation, she opened her eyes, wincing at the sharp, almost _literally_ stabbing pain from the lights above her, when a warbling, familiar voice said, “Enjoy your rest, sleeping beauty?” and she looked upon one of the blurry visages standing around her.

Jerry pursed his lips as Myrna looked at him, her eyes somehow dilating and shrinking like a continuously focusing camera lens as she turned her still-addled attention on him.  While the doctors around them made notes and whispered about checking to make sure she didn’t suffer any permanent damage from what appeared to be ‘involuntarily spasming retinas’, he asked, “Do you recognize me, Miss Beesbottom?”

The square-jawed woman narrowed her eyes, and she gave a tiny, airy laugh as she said, “Ooohh yeeaahhh…I know who you are…” In a relaxed, supremely satisfied tone. “Oh man, that’s **too** funny…”

Jerry cocked his head quizzically while the medical team looked similarly curious at the villainesses statement. “What is?”

“All this time, Jesse Ventura was right.” Myrna pressed her head back against the pillow and smiled triumphantly. “The Illuminati’s run by freakin’ lizard people…”

While two doctors suddenly slipped and fell to the floor apropos of nothing, Jerry and the other three merely stumbled, but managed to keep their balance before the ridiculous statement literally floored them.  The spymaster recovered quickly and proclaimed, “Myrna, it’s Jerry!  You’re at WOOHP’s medical facility!”

Myrna looked at him out of the corner of her eye, her doped up smile not wavering in the slightest as she suddenly hissed at him like a snake.  When all he did was look at her in confusion, she shrugged and asked dryly, “What, wrong dialect?  Should I try iguana?”

This time, Jerry was the only person besides Myrna who didn’t faceplant at that, and that was because he caught himself on the railing of the doped-to-the-gills villainesses bed.  Surprised at his own loss of composure while also wondering just how powerful the chemical was that she’d been drugged with, Jerry said exasperatedly, “Donna, I’m **not** a lizard person!”

“You coulda fooled me…”

“Miss Beesbottom,” A nurse on the opposite side of Myrna’s bed spoke up as she got to her feet, which caught the auburn-haired woman’s attention and made the doped up villainess roll her head towards the younger brunette like her neck was made of rubber. “You were brought to WOOHP two weeks ago.  You were poisoned by something that’s acting like a hallucinogen on steroids, but we gave you a suppressant which will help your body flush the toxin from your system.”

In the time it took for Myrna to process that, the rest of the medical team had gotten to their feet.  When she did, her eyes opened very slowly, but also **far** more widely than they should have as she breathed _“OOOOooooohhhh……”_ like she’d been given to the secret to some great universal truth. “That explains… **sooo** much!  Cause you don’t look like a lizard person anymore!”

The nurse blinked quizzically. “I don’t?”

Myrna shook her head without looking away from the woman or _blinking_ as she lifted her hand, trying and failing to point at her due to a restraining manacle as Myrna said in that same ‘mind-blown’ voice, “No!  Now you look like **Jesus** !” She then stopped and narrowed her eyes at the brunette and spat in a gravely offended tone, “And **_Jesus_ ** , do you need a tic-tac!”

Jerry wondered why it seemed like someone had installed artificial gravity plating in the medical facilities, or _why_ his body was losing muscle control with every ridiculous word that came out of Myrna Beesbottom’s mouth, but mostly he hoped it hadn’t been too long since the floor had last been cleaned as he lifted his face from it, eye twitching indignantly while the high-as-a-kite villainess muttered something about _‘smells like a jet engine shat a rainbow…’_ in complete disgust.

The spymaster summoned up his considerable willpower to get back to his feet, pointedly ignoring those among the medical team who were giggling at the ridiculous statement from their patient, and regarded his former agent anew as he said coldly, “Regardless of that, Miss Beesbottom, we need critical information from you as soon as possible.”

“Why?” She asked tiredly without bothering to look at her ex-boss. “I fucked up, or I wouldn't be here.  And how do you know I’m not gonna spew bullshit?”

“If I thought you were _capable_ of lying in such a state, that would be a valid concern.”

Jerry’s dry statement caused a strange reaction as Myrna shot up like someone had replaced her spinal column with a spring from a mousetrap and lunged at Jerry, only to be stopped by the restraints binding her to the bed.  While the medical team reeled back and shouted in shock, the spymaster looked impassively into the manic eyes and matching smile only a few inches from his face as Myrna crowed gleefully, “ **That's** the best part!  I _can't_ lie about the shit I’ve seen, _because it's too fucking_ **crazy** _to make up!_ ”

Jerry raised a hand, waving off the two guards who’d run up from the opposite side of the suddenly more energetic prisoner.  The two mooks paused, though they were obviously hesitant as their boss said, “Then enlighten me, Myrna.  What happened in Nerima Tokyo?”

The square-jawed, burly woman giggled like an 8-year old girl and gave Jerry a doe-eyed look that _seemed_ like she wanted a lollipop, but all the aging spymaster wanted to do was call a priest for an emergency exorcism.  He wasn't alone in that sentiment as a doctor on his right crossed himself with fearful eyes and Myrna murmured sweetly, “What's the matter, Jerry?  Didn't you find out enough from that blue-haired brat you threw into the lion's den?”

The comment on the danger involved only made Jerry’s eyes narrow as he stated severely, “Agent Britney has not returned from Nerima, because she has taken it upon herself to investigate the terrorist group you were hiding out with in Japan.”

Myrna blinked owlishly. “Terrorists?  What terrorists?”

“The Nerima Wrecking Crew.” Seeing Myrna’s eyes widen at that, Jerry nodded sternly. “So you do know them.  Good, now what can—"

“HA!”

Jerry flinched back as Myrna heaved a great, barking laugh into his face, before her mouth suddenly snapped shut and she stared at him with a clenched jaw.  Slowly, the older woman’s face reddened as a squealing noise akin to air escaping a balloon slipped between her pursed lips before she suddenly erupted with peals of laughter and collapsed back against the mattress.  It was like the polar opposite of a 2-year-old’s temper tantrum as Myrna thrashed wildly in her bed and now Jerry didn't stop the guards from holding her down, though it wasn't from concern for violence as the older woman was shrieking, squealing, howling and gasping with laughter of various types and styles.  It went on for several minutes, until the last of her giggles burned themselves out and all that was left was a sweaty, red-faced woman lying on a disheveled bed with a gigantic shit-eating grin on her face.

“Ho-leeeeee _shit_ , Jerry.” Myrna sighed appreciatively. “That was the funniest fuckin’ thing I've heard in a long time.  In fact,” the thick-set woman giggled again. “That was so good, I think it made me _cum_!”

Jerry immediately coughed into his fist, his cheeks reddened to a tomato-like hue while his guards yanked their hands away from Myrna and took several steps back, each of them wearing mutual expressions of disgust.  Composing himself quickly, the aging spymaster said uncomfortably, “Well, ahh…be that as it may, might I ask what you found so funny?”

“The ‘Wrecking Crew’.  A **terrorist** group.” Myrna repeated in a lilting tone. “Oh Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry, the wrecking crew aren't _terrorists_ !  Cause they don't have a political agenda, any world-changing scheme, and they're not **trying** to make people scared of them!”

His embarrassment fading quickly and giving way to intrigued curiosity, Jerry asked, “Then why—"

“ON ACCIDENT!”

Myrna’s joyful shout drowned out the rest of his question, but he didn't bother interrupting her as he digested her sudden exclamations with ever deepening shock. “The Wrecking Crew are a bunch of KIDS who don't have the sense God gave a fucking **oyster** , and they run around Nerima like a bunch of bulls in a 5 mile wide _China Shop!_  They get so focused on the _stupidest_ shit and just **fly** off the handle, and the next thing you know, some building has a new picture window or a sunroof cause they **punched a hole** through it!!!”

The thickset older woman turned her head towards Jerry and gave him a smile that was nearly Glasgow in width as she hissed, “And I mean that _literally_ , Jerry!  Whatever you saw that made you think these little shits were terrorists, was all done with **bare-fucking-** **_hands_ **!!!”

While Jerry would have _loved_ to be relieved by the information Myrna was giving him, all he felt was a chill run up his spine as she painted a scenario that was even more terrifying than the one Britney had illustrated. “Myrna…are you telling me that the Wrecking Crew are all teenagers?!”

Myrna nodded and drawled out, “Eeee-YU-pah!” with an emphasizing pop on the ‘p’.

“And they have _superpowers?!?_ ”

The woman shook her head, her eyes once more narrowing and widening out of sync like a pair of auto-focusing cameras as she squeaked, “NO-PAH!  Or at least, not the kind of powers you're thinking of, because everything they do, they've _trained_ to do it and _nothing else_ !  No gadgets, no mutations, no magic—" Myrna suddenly cut herself with narrowed eyes and a studious expression. “Well, **some** magic, but not the good kind…all sorts of freaky curses out there.”

“Myrna, focus please!” Jerry said commandingly, hoping to tap into whatever remained of her training as his agent.  The effect seemed to work as she blinked and suddenly stiffened in her bed, giving him the impression that if she wasn’t strapped down, she’d be standing at attention.  Taking it as a sign of progress _despite_ the wide smile on her face, The leader of WOOHP calmed down and composed himself while his other employee’s focused their attention on her with narrow-eye’d concern or nervous dread. “Now, Myrna…please elaborate on the wrecking crew and their so-called training.  Who is the one instructing them?”

“No one.” she replied in a relaxed voice that was at odds with her ramrod straight posture. “Cause they don’t listen to anyone-OOooohhhh…” She afforded herself a small chuckle. “You think they have a _leader!_  Well, sorry to tell you Jerry, but there’s only one person who **might** qualify for that role and he’d **never** take it, even though he’s the reason I’m _tripping_ **balls** right now!”

Rather than fear, Jerry found himself growing concerned as he took a relatively small leap of faith and asked, “You wouldn’t be referring to Ranma Saotome, would you?”

Myrna nodded stiffly, like she was fighting against her own neck muscles to affirm his suspicion.

“Tell me, Miss Beesbottom; what exactly did Ranma Saotome do to you in Nerima?  How did he escape from Agent Britney after you were captured?”

Myrna blinked rapidly at that.  Her eyelids fluttering like a hummingbird’s wings, she turned to look quizzically at Jerry and murmured, “ _Escape_ from Britney?  He didn’t escape from her.”

Jerry cocked an eyebrow in interest. “He didn’t?”

“No.” Myrna affirmed by shaking her head. “He _saved_ her.  From _me_.”

-0-

The sight of Ranma made Clover sniffle while privately noting that he cleaned up very well, which made it hurt all the more as Caitlyn gave a low wolf-whistle in appreciation.  Ranma smiled awkwardly at that as he sat down, and the blonde spy had to keep from throwing herself at the now-quartet in a blind rage when Dominique fixed Ranma with a sultry smirk and asked, _“Well, you wanted us.  How do you want us,_ stud _?”_

 _“Ahh, here is fine.”_ Ranma replied, apparently missing the jumbo-sized come on Dominique had lobbed at him, which made Clover’s heartache worse as she remembered how dense he’d been on their first…technically _only_ date.

 _“Right.”_ Mandy cut in coolly. _“So like, why’d you change your mind?  I thought you weren’t going to hurt Clover by going out with me?”_

Ranma blushed in embarrassment and scratched his head. _“I…wanted to apologize for that…and for stealin’ your underwear last week.  I was just trying to help Alex, you know?”_

Alex sniffled a little, while Sam’s eyes hardened and Clover watched the clandestine meet-up like a hawk.

 _“Right, whatever, apology accepted.”_ Mandy said in a blasé tone and a wave of her hand before saying with an audible smirk. _“But what about Clover_ -chan _?  You don’t think she’s gonna be upset by this?”_

Ranma grimaced for a moment, before his expression hardened and he murmured, _“Yeah…but it’s not like I can make things_ worse _, can I?  Besides, she already thinks I’m a cheater, so why deny it?”_

Clover snarled and Sam quickly reached out with her foot, lightly tapping the blonde’s shin in a ‘don’t do it’ signal as Caitlyn asked, _“So, you really_ did _cheat on her?”_.

Despite everything, Clover couldn't’ help but close her eyes and brace for impact.

_“What?  No!  No, I didn’t!!”_

Clover’s eyes snapped open and she stared at Ranma as he gave Caitlyn a displeased look. _“Alex was one thing, but there’s no way in_ **hell** _I did what Clover-chan is blaming me for!”_ Ranma shuddered briefly. “ _Even if that were_ possible, _I still wouldn’t do it.  It’d just be…_ creepy _…”_

Alex looked over her shoulder, wondering why Ranma seemed to be holding his sister(girlfriend?) in something decidedly less than an affectionate standing, considering how much the girl had cared for him.  Sam let out a low groan as the headache she’d _briefly_ beaten back from discovering the mystery of Ranma Saotome returned with a vengeance as the previously clear picture suddenly became fuzzy again.

And Clover looked at her ex.  Confused, hurt, waiting for the moment he enacted his dastardly plan.

But also…hopeful.  Praying he was telling the truth…while also dreading what would happen if it turned out he was, and she’d thrown him away for nothing.

-0-

Donna, giving zero fucks about the knowing smiles and giggles she and Arnold were getting as they shared half a headphone between them on the bench, focused her attention on head bitch’s voice as she asked, _“If like, you didn’t cheat on her, then why are you just accepting it?”_

 _“Cause she saw something I_ can’t _explain to her without ruining everything I came here for.”_ Ranma’s voice dipped into a slight growl. _“But also ‘cause the only way she could possibly have seen it is if she was_ watching _me.  And I’m_ **_not_ ** _dealing with that again, girlfriend or not.”_

Arnold, while still nervous about having an irritated girl so close to him, and sweating bullets just from having **_a_** girl so close to him, pursed his lips as he tried to come up with a reason to blame Ranma for his and Clover’s break-up, but the nerd had to admit that Ranma’s condemnation was a pretty valid, of ambiguously worded complaint.

Of course, that pulled back quite a bit when Dominique asked gleefully, _“Oh ho?  So that’s why you said kissing her was the worst mistake you ever made?”_ and Arnold returned to his violent fantasies of retribution while Donna’s lips quirked in a snarl.

 _“K…kinda…”_ Ranma’s voice fell, thick with guilt as he admitted, _“I was just so pissed, cause it was just like home.  She saw something and blamed me for it before_ asking me _what the hell happened.  At least this time, Clover’s upset cause I can’t tell her the truth, instead of ignoring anything I say so she can stay pissed at me.”_

_“That happened with that fiancé of yours?”_

Donna cocked an eyebrow at that and side-eye’d Arnold, who returned her questioning look with a nod of affirmation and a quick whisper of, “They mentioned it before.”

 _“All.  The._ Time. _”_ Ranma replied in a low voice. _“Couple that with her watching me, and it was like a mix of Akane and Nabiki put together.  And while Clover isn’t…_ can’t **_possibly_ ** _be as bad as they were, both those things together just made me see red.”_

_“Nabiki?”_

_“Akane’s sister.  She had hidden cameras and tape recorders all over the dojo and school, so she knew_ everything _that was going on in both places.”_

Mandy chuckled wickedly. _“Hee, I like how she thinks.”_

 _“If you’re thinking of recruiting her, don’t bother.  She’s not a spy, she’s a_ broker _, like a mini-mafia boss or something.  Information is power and money, and she’s always lookin’ for more of both.”_

Arnold and Donna had worn matching expressions of curiosity at the word ‘recruiting’; but now their incredulity and disbelief were in perfect sync as they met each other’s eyes, looking for verification that they’d each heard the same thing.

_“And you don’t think Clover will do that?”_

Ranma snorted at Caitlyn’s somewhat suspicious/leading question. _“I’m upset with Clover, but there’s no way in hell she’s gonna act like Nabiki.”_ there was a brief pause and a glugging noise as Ranma took a drink of something before muttering darkly. _“Otherwise, she’d have_ blackmailed _me as payback for cheating, so she’s already ahead of the Ice Queen there.”_

Arnold and Donna’s jaws dropped as Dominique asked, _“Blackmailed how?”_

 _“I don't have the list in front of me, but Nabiki would sink to_ anything _to make a buck, or for a_ **_cheap_ ** _laugh.  The worst was when she threatened to make Akane and her family think I'd…”_ Ranma’s voice lowered into something thicker than mere disgust as he intoned, _“_ taken advantage _of her, just because I accidentally burned some tickets to a concert she wanted to go to.”_

Donna’s eyes went wide, and one started spasmodically twitching while Arnold had frozen in shocked disbelief.  Through their headphones, the pair heard a wet choking sound before Mandy’s slightly ragged voice asked, _“She was gonna make you look like a_ rapist _!?”_

 _“Yeah, and I_ know _it was only payback for the tickets cause the cash-in-hand payment she charged to keep her mouth shut was ¥5000, and it would have been twice that much,_ every **week** _if she’d been serious about holding it over my head.”_

Silence reigned for a few moments, both between the two eavesdroppers and those they were listening to, until Caitlyn summed up the feelings of the two eavesdroppers with a breathless, _“Holy_ shit _…”_

 _“Yeah, it’s a lot like the Kodachi situation and you.”_ Ranma agreed as he presumably pointed to Mandy.  Then he chuckled and said, _“Then again, Kodachi’s batshit crazy and it turns out you were just acting, so I guess comparing you and her doesn't work anymore, does it?”_

Shaken from their appalled musings, Donna and Arnold shared mutual looks of confusion as Mandy asked, _“Acting?  What act?”_

Ranma answered, and Donna’s eyes widened as she quickly jammed her fist between her teeth, trying to keep herself from howling with laughter as Arnold gaped in slack-jawed shock at the apparently dim-witted pigtailed boy’s plain-spoken reply.

-0-

“The evil, selfish brat act.” Ranma said with an easy-going and slightly appreciative grin. “I gotta say, you totally fooled me with it.”

Mandy’s eye twitched as she swallowed the scream threatening to launch itself out of her throat and at the stupidly smiling boy sitting across the table, while Dominique and Caitlyn wore nearly matching expressions of outraged shock.  But Mandy was not the erstwhile leader of the trio simply because of her money or fashion sense, but because she was truly the sharpest of the three brats, not that that was saying much.  Thus, she realized Ranma was suffering from a case of mistaken identity and a downright _sinful_ idea crossed her mind, making her quickly snap her feet out to lightly kick her henchgirl’s shins under the table.

The pair winced and hissed before turning to glare at their leader, only to cock their eyebrows quizzically as she cleared her throat and sat up straighter.  With considerable effort, which was aided by the idea of finding out some really good dirt on the boy who apparently thought she and her cohorts were someone else, Mandy said calmly and in as professional a voice as she could manage, “Well, I have been… _practicing_ it for awhile.”

Caitlyn and Dominique continued to stare at her uncomprehendingly, and Mandy quietly cursed and prayed that they caught onto her dodge ASAP before the idiot realized he was being played.  Thankfully, that didn’t look like it was happening anytime soon as Ranma scratched the back of his head and chuckled sheepishly. “Yeah, well now that I know you were faking, I probably should have realized it earlier.  I mean, there were bits that were a little over the top, like when you kept calling Alex a…you know.”

“A _slut_?” Mandy smirked a little as he flinched, taking a bit of pleasure at milking this new ‘why-no-I’m-not-really-a-heinous-bitch’ act for all it was worth.  Even as she wondered what was up with the weird, angry muttering coming from behind her.

“Yeah…that.” Ranma admitted lamely before sitting up and looking between the three girls with a serious expression. “So, what happens now?  Am I going to meet your boss soon?  Or do I have to wait until things clear up first?”

Taking a wild stab in the dark, bolstered somewhat by the fact that her cronies had finally clued into her scheme, Mandy said ambiguously, “Things are a little…hectic at the moment, so it’s going to take awhile before our boss can see you.” while privately wondering if this was supposed to be some kind of job interview.

-0-

Sam’s eyes narrowed as she blocked out the sound of Clover’s teeth grinding and Alex almost _vibrating_ with rage, all but shaking her chair to pieces as she was obviously fighting back the urge to hurl herself at Mandy like a viking berserker.  Unlike her two friends, the redhead maintained her calm more effectively because she was able to focus on the important things they were hearing, like the fact that Ranma was apparently under the impression that she and her friends were supposed to take him to see Jerry, as if **that** had a snowball’s chance in hell of happening.

But something nagged at her, specifically the careful yet casually interested way Ranma was talking to the bitch trio, like he honestly expected there to be some kind of meeting planned out between him and the head of WOOHP.

 _“Well, I hope it clears up soon.”_ Ranma said with a heavy sigh. _“Cause I want to get this over with and move on before even more crap blows up in my face.”_

Clover winced, but kept her eyes fixed on her ex and the three bitches surrounding him as Dominique leaned forward and asked in an inquisitive tone. _“Moving on?  So you’re not gonna stay in town?”_

 _“I_ was _up until Clover called me a cheater in front of everyone.”_ Ranma said pointedly. _“Now that’s going to be hanging over my head_ **_again_ ** _, and I can’t even tell her or anybody else why it’s bullshit without screwing up the plan.”_

Sam, Alex and Clover’s eyes narrowed in unison as they focused their attention, waiting for Ranma to reveal his ultimate scheme as Mandy asked, _“And the plan is?”_

Ranma paused, blinking quizzically at Mandy before saying, _“Uhh…working with you guys?  After I get my interview with your boss?”_

The three real spies blinked in unison as Caitlyn chimed in, _“Oh, the_ interview _.”_ in a tone that _almost_ covered up the fact that she didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. _“Yeah, that…see, our boss wanted to hear some more of your qualifications before setting something up.”_

At that, Clover watched as Ranma looked suspiciously at Caitlyn, who suddenly looked like she was sweating nervously as he said, _“You guys should already_ **_have_ ** _my qualifications!  If your boss read the damn file, I should be a shoe-in for a job…”_

Ranma stopped and his eyes slowly widened as comprehension dawned, and Clover took a certain amount of vindictive glee in the way Mandy and her cronies stiffened at being caught red-handed.  It almost made up for them going out with her ex and pretending to be her and her friends… _almost_.

Meanwhile, Sam was waiting with bated breath for the other shoe to drop, wondering what would happen when Ranma realized he’d been blabbing his secrets to a trio of girls who were **not** supposed to be in the know regarding him and his past.  While the _interview_ bit was confusing, she was still worried that this was some kind of long con to get Ranma close to Jerry and maybe use **whatever** he’d done to make her friends go crazy for him and seize control of WOOHP and all its resources.

Then Ranma gave a quiet, _“You guys…”_

The spies held their breaths as Mandy offered a nervous, hesitant _“Yes…?”_

_“You…haven't gotten in touch with Britney, have you?”_

Sam’s eye twitched as Caitlyn started to ask _‘who?’_ But was cut off by with a gasp of pain, which Clover saw was due to Mandy digging the toe of her shoe into the short-haired girls shin as she said, _“No!  I mean, no; we haven't heard from her.”_

There was a few moments of tense silence, before Clover saw Ranma's eyes close and his head dropped, and his voice echoed in her, Sam, and Alex’s ears as he asked, _“How bad?”_ In a miserable tone.

_“Umm…how bad what?”_

Before Mandy could punish Dominique for asking another possible cover-breaking question, Ranma replied in that same defeated voice, _“How bad did Britney make things sound in her report?  Cause she_ warned _me she was gonna blow things out of proportion until she finished covering our tracks and got a chance to explain things to your boss.”_

Sam’s eyes widened and she softly whispered, “Noooo…” while Clover’s right eye started to spasm and the corner of Alex’s mouth began quirking up as a spark of hope formed in her chest.

 _“It, ahh…”_ Mandy replied hesitantly. _“It was…pretty bad.”_

There was a thump as Ranma dropped his head onto the tabletop, where he gave a muffled groan. _“Oh God…she didn't blame_ **_me_ ** _for all that crap in Japan did she!?  That_ wasn't _my fault!!!”_

Sam’s whispering of, “No, no, no!” Was growing increasingly more desperate and insistent while Alex’s joyful smile was stretching from ear-to-ear, and Clover’s spasming eye found itself matched, yet out of sync with its twin as she ran herself through the last several weeks with a fresh, but not necessarily _new_ mindset and slipped back into the ‘Britney fucked up’ excuse like an old dress.

Mandy was apparently blessed by the Gods of bullshit this day as she _somehow_ managed to offer the accurate answer to Ranma’s question and apologetically said, _“Yeah…yeah she did…”_

There was silence for a moment, save for the background noise of a busy cafe as everyone went about their day without a care in the world.

 _“…please tell me she didn't say the Wrecking Crew was some kinda terrorist cell?  I_ **_begged_ ** _her to just make it sound like a street gang, but she—"_

Sam didn't hear the rest as she suddenly snatched Alex’s bowler hat off the latina’s head, making the girl who was a hair away from breaking into song ‘eep’ in surprise while the redhead activated one of WOOHP’s situationally useful gadgets and flicked a switch built into the brim, before jamming her face into the hat and letting her outraged scream of **“FFFFUUUUUUUU—”** be muffled into total silence.

Clover meanwhile, was no longer spasming.

Instead, the blonde was utterly sagging in her chair, looking at Ranma through dulled eyes and internally swearing a blue streak at herself for deviating from her instincts regarding his morality.  Even the encounter she’d seen for herself in her spy cam was now warping, twisting itself as she tried to find a way to justify what had looked like a stone-cold case of philandering.  While nothing solidified and stubbornly refused to veer away from her bitter, angry assumption that Ranma had cheated on her, the blonde was utterly convinced that there was a valid reason for whatever had happened.

And quietly begged to whoever was listening that Ranma would take her back when she found that reason, and asked for his forgiveness.

-0-

“My _God_ is he dumb…” Donna murmured quietly, mostly to herself as she closed her eyes and tried to disbelieve how easily Ranma was being led around by the nose by Mandy and her _bitch_ squad.

Arnold shared her opinion, but didn't voice it as he was more concerned with what this quote-unquote wrecking crew had done to make themselves sound like a terrorist cell _or_ a street gang, and why either of those options was better than the other.

Mandy apparently shared his opinion as she answered Ranma’s pleading by saying, _“No, she didn't go_ that _far,”_ in a somewhat consoling manner as she was obviously completely lost by this turn of events. _“But like, why would Britney make…things sound so much worse than they are?”_

 _“She said WOOHP doesn't_ **_do_ ** _long-term, indefinite protective details, and the only way I’d get a team to cover my back 24/7 is if she made me sound like a_ bad guy _…”_

A low droning noise, which had hovered at the edge of Donna and Arnold’s hearing for the last minute, rose in intensity and prompted the biker girl to shoot him an annoyed look. “Hey, what’s that?”

“Not sure…” Arnold said thoughtfully as he turned and opened the briefcase with one hand, trying to keep his half of the headphone to his ear as he mused, “This things is sensitive, but I calibrated it so we wouldn't pick up everything else in the building, so I’m not sure why we’re getting reverb from somewhere…”

**_“—UUUUUUUuuuuuuuuckkkkk!!!”_ **

Donna blinked as the droning ended in a sharp ‘Kuh’ sound and didn't return.  Giving Arnold and appraising look, the girl nodded and said, “You work fast.”

“Y-yeah.” Arnold half-heartedly agreed as he pulled his fingers out of his bag, not having touched the controls to the microphone Mandy had in her purse and hoping the droning didn't come back, lest the rough-looking girl get irritated with him.

 _“So, ahh…”_ Mandy’s voice was hesitant, the snob obviously caught wrong-footed by what sounded like a boy who thought they a part of some kind of Witness Protection detail as she asked, _“Since like, Britney’s report was wrong, mind explaining to us what the truth is?”_

 _“Well, you read the damn thing,”_ Ranma replied in a miserable tone. _“You tell me what it said and I’ll explain what really happened.”_

Donna smirked and Arnold swallowed nervously, the two of them obviously thinking that the three _not_ bodyguards were about to be caught red-handed, but of very different opinions on the matter.  While there should have been a feeling of frustration or relief when Dominique commented, _“Well, there_ was _the bit about you having multiple fiancé’s.”_ Arnold and Donna could only share matching expressions of shock and confusion while they heard the sound of a double spit-take, presumably from Mandy and Caitlyn.

 _“Say_ what!? _”_ Mandy gasped. _“Did you say—"_

 _“Ah, you guys must have missed page…17?”_ Dominique offered in a helpful but strained tone. _“Where Britney talked about his dad trading his hand in marriage for food and running away before they could go through with it?”_

 _“…right.”_ Caitlyn managed to rally under the new information quickly, though there was a measure of incredulity and appall in her voice, which was shared by the two eavesdroppers. _“I guess that part got skipped in my copy.”_

 _“So like, what’s the story with that?”_ Mandy asked, reassuming some her ‘serious business’ mannerisms, though most of that had faded as her genuine curiosity removed some of her acting skills. _“Cause it sounds like you’re a bit of a player.”_

 _“I was a baby!”_ Ranma shot back in an offended tone. _“Pops pulled those scams when I was too little to remember except_ one _and that was…”_

He trailed off, and Donna shared a curious look with Arnold as Ranma continued in a more solemn and dejected tone, _“that one…hurt worse than a lot of the other crap he’s ever pulled on me.”_

It seemed like a bit of sympathy for the pig-tailed boy had weakened some of Dominique’s nastier mannerisms, or she was even better at faking not being a bitch better than anyone thought as she said in a consoling tone, _“You don't have to talk about that if you don't want to.  But the report didn't make it clear just how many fiancé’s you have, and that’d be a great help to us.”_

Ranma gave a quiet chuckle. _“Yeah, Britney couldn't tell you how many because_ no one _knows how many fiancé’s I’ve got!  There’s 3 right now, 4 if for some ungodly reason you want to count Kodachi, but so far there’s been 6 different guys showing up with their daughters in tow, claiming me as their son-in-law.”_

Arnold had stilled in a kind of mute horror, utterly stunned by what he was hearing while Donna’s teeth were gritted and she was wishing she had the power to punch someone in the nuts across space and time, because if _anyone_ deserved it, it was the man she was hearing about second hand from his son.

_“The worst bit is…”_

Arnold and Donna twitched violently when Ranma’s spoke in a voice thick with frustration.

_“My old man never wrote about any of those stupid arrangements except Ucchan and Akane in his journal, so I can't find them and tell them the deal is off.”_

While Arnold and Donna both felt the tension ease from their shoulders at the relatively mild add-on to Ranma’s already nasty situation, Caitlyn offered, _“If the guys he made this deal with were so crazy that they’re holding onto the_ **_bill_ ** _for your dad's meal for over ten years, I think cutting your losses is a good idea.”_

 _“You’re telling me.”_ Ranma muttered in agreement. _“The only thing I ever got out of the whackos who showed up was a hard time, and a firsthand look at some utterly insane Ki techniques, which were pretty much useless to me or anyone who didn't study their family school.”_

Donna blinked and wondered at the usage of a somewhat familiar term, and Arnold went wide-eye’d, all his previously held disdain and pity for Ranma disappearing as he prayed before all the gods above that what he was hearing was real.

-0-

While Mandy was quietly debating the sanity of Ranma Saotome, as well as wondering if there was _anything_ she could do to him that was worse than what he’d gone through already, Dominique tilted her head quizzically and asked, “Like, key techniques?  How is using a key a technique?”

“Not like a car key,” Ranma shook his head. “Ki, spelled K-I.  A person’s life energy, willpower, sense of self and vitality.  People learn the martial arts as a way of life can use ki to make themselves faster, tougher, or way stronger than a normal person.”

At that, Caitlyn grinned wryly and said, “Yeah?  You trying to tell me you’re a superhero or something?”

Ranma chuckled softly. “If ya mean I can handle a lot of dangerous stuff a lot better than most people, yeah.  But I’m not the only one.  Pretty much everybody back in Nerima practiced martial arts and could use ki in someway or another.”

Dominique blinked, recalling the way he’d stolen their lacy undergarments the other day and her fear fled in the face of a rising excitement, images running through her mind of old episodes of Sailor Moon she’d watched as a little girl as she leaned forward and asked eagerly, “Wait, is this _ki_ stuff magic?!”

“Uhh, kinda, but not really?” Ranma’s brow furrowed as he tried to puzzle out an explanation. “I mean, I didn’t read a bunch of books say magic words; I worked my ass off until my body was strong enough to handle it.  And most of the stuff ki does isn’t really noticeable—"

“But the other day at school, when you stole our—" Dominique stopped herself and blushed along with her two friends and Ranma. “A-anyway, we didn’t even see you _move_ , so you were using _ki_  to make yourself faster, weren’t you?!”

Mandy and Caitlyn’s eyes widened as they remembered the day they’d ended up going commando for all of the 5 minutes it took for them to saunter into the nearest restroom and put their unmentionables back on.  Sitting up straighter, finding herself eager to hear more about this _ki_ stuff, not the least of which so she could figure out a way to make sure Ranma could never do something like that again, Mandy asked, “Can you like, give us a demonstration?  It could help with the _interview_ you wanted…”

Ranma gave her a concerned look, and while a part of Mandy felt a _little_ bit guilty for tricking him, the rest of her mind was focused on the benefit of defensive information and praying that whatever voodoo he tried wouldn’t result in the de-pantying of every woman in the coffee shop.  Thus, it was both a relief and a disappointment when Ranma looked over his shoulders at the other patrons and grimaced apologetically. “Most of the stuff I know is really…obvious and kinda powerful.  Plus, there’s a LOT more cameras in Beverly Hills then Nerima, and I don’t want to catch the wrong person’s attention.”

“Sounds like an excuse to me.” Caitlyn scoffed with a smug grin, pointedly ignoring the fact that Dominique had shifted from giving Ranma puppy-dog eyes in an attempt to see some magic to glare furiously at her bushy-haired partner in crime.

Ranma pursed his lips and gave Caitlyn a narrow-eyed look, prompting a trickle of cold sweat to run down the back of her neck while Mandy joined Dominique in glaring at her, fighting back a wince when another strike against her shin signaled her ‘leaders’ displeasure.

Ranma meanwhile, crossed his arms and hummed as he thought to himself, running over the list of moves he’d seen and knew wouldn’t be too flashy, but would prove he was telling the truth about ki manipulation.

_…the belt buzz sawed through the air, mere centimeters from Akane’s back and Ranma froze as his fiance stared at him in in stunned silence while a shock of blue hair fell to the ground, still tied in a white bow…_

Ranma blinked, and snapped his fingers as he said, “I got it.” before reaching out and flipping his pigtail over the front of his shoulder.  With another glance from side to side, he untied the little strip of cloth holding his pigtail tight and handed it to bushy-haired cynic.

Caitlyn took the tiny ribbon-like material and pinched it between her fingers, one eyebrow cocked curiously as she asked, “So…are you gonna make this disappear?”

“Nope.” Ranma said as he reached out to take it back from her. “Lots of Kung fu movies are filled with stuff that make real martial artists laugh, but some of it _is_ based on things that real martial artists can do, even though they have to use special effects to cheat.”

The pigtailed boy fished an ice cube out of the glass of water next to him and set it on a napkin.  The three snobs blinked as Ranma flicked his wrist, and the crumpled piece of cloth suddenly stiffened and straightened out; becoming a white rectangle, like a piece of paper slightly longer and thinner than a razor blade.  Almost casually, he swung his hand over to the cube and brought the ribbon down, smiling smugly at the wide-eyes of the girls around him as his hair tie split the ice like he'd cut it with a knife.

-0-

“No fucking way…” Clover breathed while Sam and Alex, having forsaken their attempt to remain more inconspicuous, gaped in shock as they stared at the table some twenty feet behind them as Ranma retied his pigtail with the once again flexible ribbon.

 _“H-how did you do that!?”_ Dominique asked in a high-pitched squeak that sounded very familiar to the trio, having heard her give a similar exclamation on the video she’d recorded of Ranma and Alex, though this time her excitement was decidedly less sexual in nature, or so they hoped.

 _“Iron-cloth technique.”_ Ranma answered in a cheery tone, obviously enjoying the amazed looks on his audiences faces. _“You infuse your ki into clothing to make it tougher or sharp as a razor.”_ Flicking his hair-do back over his shoulder, Ranma frowned a little as he said, _“Trick is, using ki is…I'm trying to think of the word Britney used when I explained it to her.  I think she said it was sympathetic?”_

_“Like, what?  It feels sorry for you?”_

_“Not sympathetic like that.  I can’t just pick up a sock or something and stick some ki in it, it has to be some kind of clothing I’ve had for a long time and I’m kinda…connected to.”_ Ranma fingered his pigtail meaningfully. _“This, some shirts and pants are the only things I’ve got that I could use that move with, and usually all it does is make my clothes tougher so they don’t get worn or ripped easily.”_

“I am suddenly _so_ jealous right now…” Alex muttered quietly.

“I want it.” Clover declared with a steely glint in her eye, thinking of several dresses and blouses she had tucked away in her closet for special occasions and imagining being able to look that _good_ every day without worrying about ripping them.

“Anybody would.” Sam affirmed Clover’s statement, already jotting down theories regarding the possible durability of ki-infused cloth, her mind blazing with ideas of bullet-proof t-shirts, as ludicrous as that concept would have sounded to her a few minutes ago.

 _“Wow!  So, like, can_ everybody _do that?!”_

Sam quirked an eyebrow, as Dominique’s excitement was akin to a little kid at a magic show, and it sounded a little strange coming from her…although it was understandable, and Sam couldn’t fault her for wanting to hear more.

 _“Consciously?  Rarely, cause it takes years of training to reach that point, depending on a lot of stuff, like how well you know yourself and how in shape you are.”_ Clover watched as Ranma chuckled. _“Britney actually took to it like a natural, and she was almost roof-hopping before I left Nerima.”_

Sam, Alex, and Clover all shared mutual looks of intrigued curiosity as Mandy asked, _“Like, roof hopping?”_

_“Yeah, she managed to jump 7 feet the day before I got on the plane, but if she keeps practicing, she’ll be able to hit 10 feet like nothing.”_

The three spies twitched at that.

 _“T-ten feet?”_ Caitlyn whispered in utter shock. _“You mean like, a running jump?”_

 _“No.  Straight up.”_ Clover’s jaw dropped as Ranma emphasized his statement by pointing towards the ceiling. _“If I push it, I can hit 25, 30 feet easily.  But if your boss lets me train you and the other agents, I bet I can get most of you up to 10 within a month or two.”_

Alex’s eyes bugged, both from the shock of suddenly having Ranma blab about one of the most secret organizations in the world, and the thought of being able to perform feats like jumping onto rooftops as easily as hopping across a sidewalk puddle.  Plus the idea of the exercise and hardwork it would take to make her strong enough do something like that made her fight back the urge to moan in anticipation.

 _“A-agent?!”_ Dominique’s voice rose in her giddiness of what she was hearing, slipping from her false demeanor of someone who already knew what was going on as she asked, _“You mean like, a_ secret _agent!?”_

Sam took a deep calming breath, trying to keep herself from flying off the hook as Mandy covered her lackey’s slip-up by quickly saying, _“She means, why wouldn’t you want to be an…agent like us?  If you can do things like that—"_

 _“Yeah, Britney said I might be able to stand-in for somebody once or twice, but I’d be better off as an instructor and a ringer in case an op went bad, like an in-house ‘oh shit’ button.”_ Ranma laughed lightly. _“Besides, Britney kinda gave me the bug for teaching, cause she was so excited by what I was showin’ her how to do.”_

(Of course she was excited, who **wouldn’t** be excited to find out there was a way to learn superpowers!?) Sam thought to herself with a mixture of elation and outrage.  On the one hand, her headache regarding the mystery of Ranma Saotome had all but vanished since he’d dropped the missing puzzle pieces into place with the force of a bunker-buster, but the fact that he was delivering this knowledge to three girls who weren’t just civilians, but were **exactly** the kind of people who should _never_ be given access to the kind of power he was talking about, was keeping a decidedly painful throb somewhere in the region of her temples.

But then there was the last piece still hanging over Sam’s head.  The question of who ‘Ranko’ really was, and that was the only reason she hadn’t yet called an end to this farce by alerting Jerry to a breach in security so he could mind-wipe Mandy and her two flunkies.

As that therapeutic thought worked its way through her brain, Sam silently prayed that Ranma hadn’t blabbed to anyone **else** about all this sensitive information.

-0-

“It’s real…” Arnold sniffled as twin trails of tears flowed down his face, which had formed a heartfelt expression of pure joy as he whispered, “It's real…it's really _real_ …”

Donna stared at the nerd she was sharing a half of a headphone with, one eyebrow cocked curiously as she asked “What’s up with you, geek?  What’s real?”

“Street Fighter,” Arnold answered without looking at her, still enraptured by the knowledge he’d been granted from on high. “Dragon Ball Z.  The Hadoken and the Kamehameha…” his lip quivered as he murmured, “It's **real** !  Ki techniques **do** exist!”

Donna’s jaw dropped as understanding dawned and she whispered, “Holy shit…” before smiling widely with the blonde boy and elbowing him in the side. “I don’t know about the Kamehameha, but he might be able to pull off the Dodon Ray.”

“Maybe even the Solar Flare.” Arnold added with a nod and a rapturous smile.

Then her statement clicked and he blinked quizzically.  Turning to look at Donna, he asked, “Wait, how do you know about the Dodon Ray?”

“I was watching Dragon Ball on Netflix last week.” The biker girl replied simply. “Felt like seeing the older stuff before the next episode of Super came out.”

Arnold’s jaw dropped as he gasped, “Y-you watch anime!?”

Donna, not altogether liking being gawked at like the 9th wonder of the world, glared at the smaller boy and growled, “And there’s some reason why I shouldn’t?”

“No, no!” Arnold shook his head, fearful of the scary lady again as he stammered, “I-I just never met a girl who does, that’s all!”

“You probably _have_ ,” Donna snorted disdainfully. “They just never admitted it to you.”

The biker girl felt a flash of guilt as Arnold gave a soft, “Oh…” of understanding, obviously feeling hurt by her harsh words as he turned away from her.  Before she could apologize to the glum nerd however, the exposé continued and the two of them were distracted by Dominique asking gleefully, _“Then, you’re gonna teach us!?  Can we start now?!”_

 _“Sorry, but that’s not a good idea.”_ Ranma admitted in a worried tone. _“The only reason I was able to teach Britney anything was because she had all sorts of gadgets to keep us from being noticed, and while it wouldn’t be nearly as dangerous to be discovered here as it would be in Nerima, it’d still be safer to wait until after I’ve gotten the okay from your boss.”_

Donna gave a small sigh of relief as the bushy-haired bitch asked in a pleading tone, _“You can’t show us_ anything _?”_

Ranma was apparently immune to the bambi eyes that the girl must have been giving him as he offered apologetically, _“Sorry, but you’re gonna have to wait a little while.  But look on the bright side,”_ His voice perked up happily. _“If Britney is what most of you guys are like, you’re probably gonna learn how to use ki pretty quickly.”_

_“We will?”_

_“Yeah, cause the three major points of learning how to use Ki is meditation, being healthy and fit, and knowing and accepting who you really are as a person.  Meditation is the hardest part, but Britney already knew a bit about that, and her body was strong enough to handle the basic stuff, and she loved being a spy so much, it was easy for her to accept who she really was and get a hang of her ki.”_

“I should feel bad,” Donna mused aloud with a smirk on her face. “But I don't.”

Arnold, mentally jotting personal notes about himself while dreading the amount of exercise he might have to do in order to live every geek's dream come true, glanced at Donna quizzically. “What's that?”

“These bitches ain't spies, as fucking weird as that is to say with a straight face, which means his little pep-talk ain't gonna do them any good.” Donna’s smile widened a little more. “Unless, they wanna _accept_ the fact that they’re a pack of lying cunts.”

Arnold frowned at the slur and said, “They’re not that bad.  They’re just victims of their upbringing.”

“Yeah, victims of being born with a silver spoon in their mouths.” Donna sneered derisively. “If it looks like a bitch and it talks like a bitch, odds are, it's not gonna turn out to be a sweetheart, geek.”

 _“Right…spies.”_ Mandy’s voice distracted the pair, as the snob sounded positively depressed as she apparently remembered that she and her cohorts were taking the boy in front of them for a ride. _“So like, what else can you tell us?”_

 _“Yeah!  Like, what’s the deal with your sister?”_ Dominique asked hopefully, obviously trying to veer the subject away from her disappointment over not being able to learn superpowers. _“Did your dad engage her to random guy’s for food too?”_

Dead silence met that remark and Donna shared a quizzical look with Arnold.

Then Ranma’s voice came through the line, and Donna froze as the color drained from Arnold’s face, the biker girl suddenly having a flashback to the day he’d humiliated the bitch trio, and how his emotions had frozen over to the point of death as she and the nerd heard him grimly intone **_“_** _My_ **sister?** ** _”_**

“I think they fucked up.” Donna whispered quietly as goosebumps formed across her skin, despite the warm California day and her leather suit.

-0-

Mandy sat back in her seat, wide-eyed and fearful as Ranma was glaring furiously at Dominique, looking for all intents and purposes like he was a hair away from ripping her head off as he asked, “What do you mean, _my_ **_sister_ ** **?** ” in a voice that screamed, _‘these could be your last words, make them count’_.

“Y-you’re sister Rach-I mean, _Ranko_!” Dominique squeaked, adrenaline helping her pull everything she could from her memories of Alex’s encounter with the redheaded girl on the bleachers. “You know, she went with you and your dad on that training trip but she goes to a different school?!”

Ranma’s eye twitched. “What school?”

Sensing she’d screwed up again, Dominique’s lips snapped shut with an almost audible click.

“What _school_ does my **sister** go to?” Ranma repeated, his teeth gritted as he cast his eyes challengingly to the other two girls. “Since Britney said I was going to be _watched_ at all times, which I figured was worth the damn price of staying the hell away from anyone who might come looking for me, what school did Ranko enroll in?”

Not recognizing a trick question when it bit her on the nose, Caitlyn thought quickly and jumped onto the only real possibility, as it was the only other school still in Beverly Hills and declared confidently, “She goes to Moreno High School, obviously.”

That earned the full fury of Ranma’s iron-hard glare focused squarely on her, making the bushy-haired girl reel-back as he snarled, “Considering _Ranko_ doesn’t goddamn exist, that’d be a hell of a trick to pull off!”

“W-what!?” Dominique gasped in shock. “That’s not true!  I saw her!”

“Where?!” Ranma turned to her. “Where did you see Ranko!?”

Dominique swallowed nervously, wincing as though expecting a blow from him as she admitted quietly, “Last Sunday…playing soccer with Alex?”

Ranma’s eyes widened.  Mandy’s comment about Clover destroying his reputation like a wrecking crew, and how he’d assumed she was signaling him somehow.  Her and the other girls reactions, which he’d once again attributed to spy behavior as Britney was similarly twitchy about being called out on her job.  But then he ran over their questions in his mind, and he realized that the only ones which implied _any_ sort of fore-knowledge from the three girls had come from the one who’d apparently spied on him and Alex…who was probably also the one who had seen him and Alex doing this-and-that in the locker room.

Understanding dawned, just like when Clover had spelled out her attraction to him before giving him one of the greatest nights of his life last Friday.  But now there was no payoff to the shot of awareness he’d been given.  There was only a cold dread as something broke inside him, knowing he’d just spoken at length on a subject that he had no business running his mouth about, and to three girls who’d shown nothing but hate and spite towards two girls who’d helped him understand more about normal relationships than he ever would have gotten in Nerima.

All because, despite **everything** he’d been through, he couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground when it came to figuring out he was being lead around by the nose by a manipulative bitch.

Mandy swallowed nervously as the pigtailed boy seemed to deflate, his eyes going dull and glassy before his bangs covered them as he lowered his head, slumping in his chair and looking completely unlike the confident teen he’d appeared to be since she'd laid eyes on him.  Instead, he looked _exactly_ how she’d expect someone with a past like his would appear; beaten, numb, and despondent.

That thought gave the snob a swift kick in her sorely underused conscience with a steel-toed boot, and like most neglected things, it hurt all the more as she found herself grimacing in sympathy as she said, “Hey…Ranma, I’m—"

“Don't.”

One word froze her still, her fear returning as Ranma filled his voice with as much menace and disgust as possible, which similarly kept Caitlyn and Dominique rooted to their seats as she was.

“I have **never** hit a girl in my life, and I **never** will.” Ranma intoned in that same voice, like his words were some kind of toxic sludge he had to expulse or they would poison him. “Not Akane, no matter how many times she hit me, or Nabiki when she ran me ragged, or all the fiancé’swho treated me like a trophy instead of a person.”

He looked up, and Mandy flinched at the utter hatred in his eyes, the stormy grey-blue turned into a barely restrained hurricane as he spat, “If you even _think_ of apologizin’ ‘cause you think I’m gonna forgive you, don't waste your breath, and don't _insult_ me by sayin’ something if you don't mean a fuckin’ word of it…like every other girl I’ve ever met.”

That said, Ranma pushed himself away from the table and muttered a cold, “Goodbye.” Before getting up and turning to walk away.

What should have been a truly poignant dismissal of the three snobs became something else, due to the capricious nature of the Jusenkyo Springs’ magic as a nearby patron carelessly leaned back in his chair, which coincidentally caused it to strike a passing waiter in his hip and threw him off balance.  The tray of iced mochas he’d been carrying went flying as he threw his arms out in an effort to keep from falling on his face, and it arced through the air to land squarely on the pigtailed boy’s head.

-0-

Clover’s jaw dropped, utterly shocked by what she was seeing.

Ranma’s hair had turned red.  Almost every strand on his head was bright red.

The moment the assorted caramel colored drinks had splashed across his upper body, his hair had gone from stark black to a solid bright red.  He’d also lost nearly a foot in height and his broad shoulders had shrunk inwards, while his hips had flared, albeit not by too much, but enough to emphasize that he suddenly had more of an hourglass figure, where he’d been more of an upside-down triangle a moment ago.

There was silence in the cafe as the redhead’s blue silk shirt was stained a dark brown from the cold coffee soaking into it, eventually broken by a customer asking, “Hey, you okay, miss?”

(Miss?) Clover repeated inside her own mind as Ranma slowly turned around-

-and **Ranko** looked at Mandy, Dominique, and Caitlyn, her eyes despondent, disgusted, and brimming with unshed tears, as she responded to the man with a quiet, “Yeah…never better.” before turning back around and walking out of the cafe without a backwards look.

Clover, Alex, and Sam sat there for several moments, utterly floored as they tried to wrap their heads around what had occurred, while some customer’s murmured quizzical remarks about ‘thought her hair was darker’, before turning back to their drinks.

“He’s Ranko…” Alex whispered quietly, eyes wide and staring as she remembered the event’s from last Sunday and repeated, “He’s Ranko!” in a louder voice.

“Ranma’s a guy…Ranko’s a girl.” Sam’s mind spun a mile a minute as the last piece was slotted into place with an almost audible click. “He turns into a girl.”

“He didn’t cheat on me.” Clover’s lip quivered as she fought back the urge to cry, realizing just how badly she’d fucked up when she’d accused him of betraying her trust. “She’s not some girl from Japan he was sleeping with. She—"

A flash of motion interrupted the blonde, and the trio’s gaped as Mandy and her cronies had broken out of their stupor and were running after Ranma, leaving their own drinks behind as they ran out the door.

Sam shot to her feet and said, “Come on!” before she bolted too, with Clover and Alex hot on her heels.

-0-

Donna and Arnold were looking out among the people walking down the street, having heard enough to figure out that ‘something’ had happened, but neither were sure what it was as Ranma’s voice had disappeared before Arnold could realign his sensitive equipment.  As they looked around, Donna caught sight of a redhead girl crossing the street, heading away from the cafe with a foul expression.  Her eyes narrowed as she noticed the stained chinese-silk shirt the girl was wearing, recalling some kind of sloshing sound over the headphones.

Then her jaw dropped as the girl reached the front of small electronic shop and jumped 15 feet in the air, landed on the roof with absolutely no concern for having defied gravity, just as Ranma had talked about in the cafe…and somebody else who Donna hadn't thought about in a very long time.

Memories started barking in the back of her mind like dogs in a cage, and Donna breathed, “No fucking way…” as the redhead faded from view.

“What?” Arnold looked at the gobsmacked biker girl curiously. “Did you see—"

“ARNOLD!”

Arnold jumped and whirled around as Mandy and her cohorts ran up to him, while Donna shot the three snobs an ugly glare as the head of the pack shouted, “Where is she!?”

“She?  She who?”

“Ranma!  I mean, Ranko!” Mandy snarled at the nerd, who flinched back as she added, “The redheaded girl who just walked out of the damn Starbucks!”

“I-I didn’t see anyone who looked like that!”

“I did,” Donna offered grimly as she crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “But I’m not hearing a reason why I should tell you which way she went, _bitch_.”

Mandy looked at Donna, her fear from earlier and her caution towards the biker were swept away by a wave of outrage as she stomped right up to the girl who had almost a half-a-head on her in height, surprising everyone as she jabbed a finger into Donna’s chest and snarled, “You listen to me you lowbrow _thug_ !  I’m trying to do the right goddamn thing here, so you better tell me where she went, **or so help me, I’LL—"**

“MANDY!”

Mandy blinked at the sound of a familiar voice calling her name and looked away from the girl she was trying to intimidate, and then blinked again as three people she hadn't expected to see today ran up to them, each of them wearing outfits that only deepened her confusion as the trio of crossdressers reached them.

“Runt?” Donna offered as she looked at Alex, who was wearing a men's dress suit straight out of the 1920’s, complete with bowler hat and fake mustache. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Our jobs!” Sam snapped angrily as she glared at Mandy, who returned her look with equal venom.

“Like, what the hell are you supposed to be?” Caitlyn scoffed with an incredulous look. “Some kinda spy?”

Sam slowly turned her head to focus her ire on Mandy’s hench girl, before something in her mind gave the executive order of (fuck it) and she growled in a low voice, “Ranma Saotome, AKA, Ron Sato.   **Supposedly** the leader of a group of terrorists known as the ‘Nerima Wrecking Crew’, who have caused more property damage in Japan than entire _hurricanes_!”

Caitlyn's jaw dropped along with Mandy, Dominique, Donna, and Arnold’s, with the leader of the bitch squad whispering softly, “Oh no _way_!”

“Newspapers, police reports, and security camera footage shows that wherever Ranma goes, destruction follows him, but with absolutely _no_ explanation **why** he’s walking disaster area, and **we** had to find out why the hell he was here, and make sure he didn’t meet up with anyone who might be a part of the NWC.” The redhead pulled off the stick-on orange mustache from her upper lip with a brief wince before snarling, “So _thanks_ for finding out we were supposed to be **guarding** him, but you’ll pardon me if I don’t feel like throwing you a _parade_!”

The quintet non-spies processed that in a quiet, wide-eyed silence , before the only male of the group slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out his smartphone.

“Arnold, if you even _think_ of telling anyone what Sammy just said, I will **end** you.” Clover promised with a scowl, making the nerd to squeak in fear and stick his phone back in his pocket with lightning speed.

“And if you wanted to google something on the NWC or Ranma, don’t bother.” Alex offered as she also removed her fake mustache with a small ‘ow!’ of pain. “Britney did something that acts like some kind of super-virus, and looking up anything about Nerima or him will make your computer glitch out really bad.”

“Y-y-you’re spies!?” Dominiques eyes bounced from Clover to Sam to Alex and back again.

Caitlyn, feeling decidedly wrong footed and wanting to reclaim a little bit of sanity in a world that had been flipped on its head several times over, looked the blonde up and down as she smirked cattily and said, “Wow, wonder how many secrets _you've_ learned through pillow-talk?”

Clover’s eye twitched as she gave Caitlyn an acidic look. “Depends, are we including your **brother** telling me you shop at the _outlet mall?!_ ”

“What’d you say, Fingercuffs?!”

 **“SHUT UP!”** **  
** **“SHUT UP!”**

Sam and surprisingly enough, Mandy both shouted in unison, their combined voices silencing their respective companions as the two of them shared a mutual expression of ‘110% done with this shit’.  Turning to Donna, Sam asked, “Where did the redheaded girl go?  She’s—"

“She’s Ranma, ain’t she?”

Sam gawped at the biker girl and her serious expression. “Someone spilled something on her, like water?”

“I-iced coffee…” Alex offered in a quiet voice, while everyone else similarly looked at Donna like the biker girl had suddenly sprouted a mohawk. “How did you…”

“My great-grandmother told me all sorts of stories when I was little,” Donna replied simply. “Plus, the redhead _jumped_ on top of Bob’s Software like it was nuthin’,” the biker girl thumbed to the store in question. “So it wasn’t that hard to put two and two together.”

Most of those listening looked at the now significantly more interesting shop with wide eyes, while Sam focused on Donna and asked, “What kind of stories?” As she wanted to make sure the final report detailing Ranma Saotome didn’t have any wiggle room for misinterpretation.

“Fairy tales about hopping vampires, hungry ghosts, and magic curses that turn people into all sorts of stuff if they get soaked with cold or hot water.”

“Magic?” Mandy repeated in shocked disbelief while Sam closed her eyes and gave a personally disgusted sigh as she muttered _‘of course…’_ under her breath. “Are you kidding me?”

Alex was struck by a sudden impulse and she fixed her number one tormentor with a pitying smile. “Oh you sweet summer child.  You know _nothing_.”

Mandy’s cheeks flushed at that, while spontaneous giggles erupted from Clover’s mouth and Arnold stared at Alex, shocked by such a geeky reference from his secret crush. Dominique however, looked worriedly at Donna and said, “But that wasn’t water…”

“The temperature was probably the important part,” Sam muttered as she rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“Yeah, which is why one of you is gonna go get some hot water while I catch up to him-her.”

Sam’s eyes bugged and she looked at Donna in surprise. “Wait what?  How are you going to do that?”

“How do you think?” Donna said sarcastically before turning and darting across the street, heading for an alley between the electronic shop Ranma had jumped on top of and an empty store front with “For Sale” displayed in the window.  As she disappeared from view, the biker girl tossed over her shoulder, “I’ll call you when I find him!”

The three spies, snobs, and nerd all looked at Donna’s retreating back for a moment, before meeting each other’s eyes and descending into an awkward silence. Finding herself a little uncomfortable and trying to get some idea of the world they’d just stumbled into, Mandy asked, “Soooo…you three are spies?  For how long?”

Alex smiled weakly. “Um…freshman year?”

The snob digested that for a second before voicing the opinion of her, her cohorts, and Arnold with a simple flat, “What.”

-W.O.O.H.P. HQ-

Jerry blinked several times as he tried to process that, and made a very good effort keeping his expression calm and composed while he asked, “He saved Agent Britney from you?  Why?”

“I was working…as a maid for some **crraaazzzyyy-ass** _bitch_ in Nerima,” The blitzed out pothead of a supervillain was back as she sagged to the point of almost _melting_ into her mattress and spoke in the low drawl of someone who was two joints away from seeing the Jesus…again, in her case. “Kodachi Kuno.  Rich, from an **old** family.  Made all sorts of poisons and chemicals she’d use on _anyone_ , from her brother and dad to rivals and even on Ranma too.  And she was in **love** with _him!_ ”

“…she’d poison the man she loved?”

Myrna nodded. “Yeah…usually paralytics because he was **smart** and wanted her to stay the fuck away from him, and she needed to _affirm their_ **_love_ ** -I thought that too!” The stout villainess said suddenly, giving a dopey half-grin to Jerry when his face paled, not realizing or possibly caring that everyone else had a similar reaction to her statement. “I thought she was gonna rape the shit out of him too!  But the ‘ _pure virginal maiden_ ’ never talked about anything but _kissing_ him!  I think the deluded witch thought _he’d_ think she was his true love if she kissed him just once…”

Myrna blinked owlishly, and slowly turned her head away from Jerry to look at the ceiling thoughtfully. “…or she was gonna dope him with some kinda homemade Spanish fly mixed into her lipstick…Oh my god, that would explain **so** **_much_ ** …”

The very potent horror faded into a low-key sense of dread and Jerry permitted himself a small shudder while one of the guards whispered audibly to the other _‘that’s not much better…’_ , which was met by nods of agreement from a few of the doctors.  A feeling of sympathy came with the rapidly growing confusion, and Jerry mentally tucked away the contents of Britney’s report, as it seemed she had erred in several _very_ important areas. “Miss Beesbottom, why would you work for someone like that?”

“Cause I wanted access to her labs.” She replied simply, and after a moment's pause, added a sardonically amused, “Duh.”

Before Jerry could prompt her again however, the villainess continued. “She had all kinds of shit, and with my knowledge, I could have made so much stuff that would have handed me the world on a _plate!_  But she caught onto me within the first day…” Myrna smiled thinly. “She knew a sneaky bitch when she saw one…but when I told her I could make some kinda brainwashed slave poison, she _let_ me have access to her gardens and labs.  I mean, I had to play up her ego so it was like I was **assisting** her, but still…”

Something clicked in Jerry’s mind and his eyes widened. “Myrna, is that poison what _you’ve_ been under the effects of?!”

The medical team collectively gasped, stiffened, or frantically began writing notes as their patient giggled in a decidedly **lewd** manner and said, “Yu-pah!  Test batch the crazy bitch hit me with when that tranny Ranma came into our _base_ like the A-team.” Myrna looked around the group as a whole and threw her head back with a quick bark of a laugh. “Why do you think I’ve been all happy and _honest_ with you people?  It’s cause my brain’s been lubed up to think I **like** doin’ anything you tell me to!”

Jerry frowned, both from the descriptor of his teams target, and the **very** crude and out of character slur used by his former agent.  One of his doctors had the same thought as he asked, “Ranma Saotome is transgender?”

“Uh-huh.  Sorcerously.”

That brought a pause to the group as a whole, and the same man who asked the previous question tossed out a confused, “Excuse me?”

“Magic curse…” Myrna slowly turned her head from side-to-side, like she was denying someone in slow motion or watching a hypnotist’s amulet that only she could see. “From China.  Splash him with cold water, he turns into a redheaded girl, and hot water turns him back into a guy.” the villainess’ voice turned bubbly. “The crazy bitch who drugged me didn’t know they were the same person!  Even when his dick got swapped for a pair of tits right in front of her!”

(‘irrevocably linked…like a brother and sister’) Jerry stiffened as he heard his own voice from when he debriefed Agents Samantha, Clover, and Alex a few weeks ago.  While the medical team jotted down notes and started buzzing with theories regarding biological make-up and the effects of spontaneously switching genders, he resumed the interrogation, if he could call it that. “Myrna, what happened between Agent Britney and Ranma?  Why did he rescue her from you and your employer?”

“ _That_ was an accident.” Myrna frowned darkly, and Jerry got the distinct impression that if she wasn’t under the euphoria-inducing effects of the drug, the ex-agent would have flown into a frothing rage at the memories running through her head. “Crazy bitch kidnapped Ranma’s fiancé and didn’t **tell** me about it until after he came to the rescue…if she’d just focused on making the damn formula and not tried to use her as a ‘test-subject’, we would have been fine, but _nnooooOOOOooooo…”_

“Fiancé?”

“Arranged marriage…The crazy bitch hates her, but she doesn’t even realize that the spoiled brat _also_ hates Ranma’s guts, and she probably could have had him if she just asked **nicely** …”

_“Am I the only one who’s feeling sorry for this Ranma guy?”_

“No!  No, you are _not!_ ” Myrna declared loudly to one of her guards stage-whisper, startling him as she proclaimed, “Hell, **I** felt bad for him!  I even offered to brain-wipe the crazy bitch so she’d leave him the hell alone, and I was actually being halfway honest about it!  Until he insulted me that is…” The blonde woman gave a great booming laugh. “Oh man, now that I’m outta there, I gotta remember that one!  I mean, if anyone calls me that again, I’ll rip their lungs out, but it was pretty funny.”

Jerry cocked an eyebrow quizzically. “What did he say?”

“Something in moonspeak that I didn't get, but he said it translated as ‘Moaning Wasp-ass’,” Myrna Beesbottom replied with a smile.

While immature, Jerry still had to cover up his slight smile, and resumed his impassive facade. “What happened after he insulted you?”

“Well at the time, I was in full bad guy mode,” Myrna replied in a blasé tone. “And I was pissed by that nickname, so I said I was gonna use something nastier than brainwash-in-a-can on him.  The Kuno bitch heard me and…” The woman made a _‘psshh’_ noise like some kind of sprayer, while moving her head like she was hosing something down for emphasis.

The medical team added that to their file, noting that the fact that she’d been coated in some kind of drug that could be absorbed through the skin and how that could explain her extreme reaction, while Jerry frowned and connected the dots between Myrna’s story and Britney’s report.  Acting on a new theory, the spymaster asked, “Miss Beesbottom, you said that Ranma Saotome is the closest thing the wrecking crew has to a leader—"

“Yep.  Cause he’s the strongest out of all of them.” She turned her head towards him and stage-whispered, “He can throw **tornadoes** …”

Jerry’s eye twitched. “What.”

“Some kinda martial art he learned, I couldn’t believe it when I saw it!  And, he regularly gets into duels to the death with this crazy boy who can blow up rocks by **poking** them!  I mean, Ranma doesn't see them as duels cause the cocky little shit always wins, but what would you call it when a guy learns how to make his punches ‘asplode like a hand grenade and tries to hit you in the face with it?”

While Jerry was tempted to look further down the rabbit hole, he could feel his sanity slipping enough as it was.  Setting his face in a grim scowl, he stepped closer to Myrna and informed her coldly, “Miss Beesbottom, the boy known as Ranma Saotome is in Beverly Hills right now.”

Her expression changed like a flipped lightswitch.  Instantly, her giddy relaxation turned into wide-eyed fear and she whimpered, _“Oh God, I think I peed a little…”_

One of the doctors checked the bedpan with obvious hesitation while Jerry went on as that earlier feeling of dread returned. “Now, do you mind explaining to me—"

“Is he alone!?”

Myrna’s terrified whisper interrupted him and Jerry found himself locked in her gaze, like a she was a child begging a parent to reassure her that the monster in her closet wasn't real. “Jerry, please for the love of **God** , _tell_ me Ranma's **_alone_ **!!!”

Jerry nodded slowly. “We didn't believe so at first—" the villainess stiffened and he finished quickly “—but now that we know of this curse you mentioned; yes, he’s alone as far as we know.”

While the doctor came back up from looking under her bed, shaking his head and looking grateful that he didn't have to swap out her bedpan, Myrna raised her eyes to the ceiling and moaned, “Jesus _Christ_ , Jerry!  Don't scare me like that…fucking hell, no caffeine for me, thanks…”

“Myrna, we have too little information and a _very_ increased level of danger if even _half_ the things you’ve told me are accurate.” Jerry stated seriously. “As far as we have been told, Ranma is responsible for untold amounts of property damage and wanton destruction, as the _leader_ of the Wrecking Crew, and I need you to tell me what’s really going on here.”

It seemed like the adrenaline from her brief scare had allowed more of Beesbottom’s less ‘whimsical’ personality show through as she gave her former boss a steely-eyed look.  Like the professional agent she used to be, which only brought a potent feeling of regret to Jerry at her wasted potential, Myrna explained, “Ranma is the leader of the ‘Wrecking Crew’ in the same way that a rock star is the _leader_ of a pack of crazed groupies and stalkers.  He can't crack a _fart_ without someone trying to kill him because it wasn't the right **color** , and then someone **_else_ ** will go after the first psycho for acting like the he or she deserves to say anything about his bowel movements, but that won't last long before they both team up on Ranma for making a nasty smell.  They _follow_ him, but they sure as fuck don't **listen** to him and they all get along like wet cats in a sack.  But these ‘cats’ are martial artists who snap physics over their knee and have **ZERO** concept of the phrase ‘ _collateral damage’_.  Got it?”

While the expressions on the faces of the people surrounding her grew grim, the drug coursing through Myrna’s veins took hold again and that goofy grin returned to her lips.  She settled back into her pillow, clearly done with her explanation and weary from her sporadic bursts of energy. “How long until she makes a full recovery?” Jerry asked as he watched the lines of stress fade from his former agents expression.

“A week at most.” The lead physician replied. “It would be faster if she could give us the details on the formula—"

“That's fine.  She’s told us all she needs to.” The spymaster turned on his heel and made for the door and tossed over his shoulder, “See to it that she makes a _full_ recovery.” As he left the room.

But then stopped when Myrna called, “Hey, Jerry?” And he looked back, seeing that she was in the same position as when he’d chosen to make his exit and hadn't even opened her eyes. “You know something…you were a good boss…and you’re a nice guy.”

Feeling like someone who’d gotten a drunk text from an ex, Jerry smiled awkwardly and replied, “Thank you, Myrna.”

“So, I’m gonna tell you a riddle,” she went on like she hadn't heard him, while still looking like she was sleeping peacefully. “If a freight train flew off the rails and plowed through Beverly Hills; and someone from Nerima found out Ranma was here and came looking for him; what would be the difference between them?”

There was a pregnant pause as Jerry’s smile disappeared and he replied, “I don't know.”

One of Myrna’s eyes cracked open and her lip quirked slightly. “The difference is, the freight train would eventually _stop_.”

00000

Ranma-chan slowly walked along the sidewalk, not-quite dragging her feet as she finished her roof-bound trek away from the three heartless bitches she’d been stupid enough to trust with her new life, and walked the remaining distance to her apartment at street level.

(I’ll have to leave a note for Britney.) She thought solemnly, not knowing or caring about anyone who gave her a second look due to her messy clothes. (And the cards she gave me for those bank accounts.  I’ll have to empty them out-)

The redhead stopped, a scowl darkening her features for a moment before she shook her head and snarled, “No…no, she helped me enough, I’m **not** gonna take advantage of her trust!  I’ll grab enough for some food, and then I’ll leave…”

Ranma’s scowl faded and a despondent, hopeless feeling grew inside her as she hung her head. (I…I have to leave…I didn’t even get a _month_ to be happy, and now I can never come back…)

Donna gasped for air as she rounded the corner of the building, having taken something of a shot in the dark and assumed the redhead used her mobility to move ‘as the crow flies’, and in a straight line away from the cafe.

(or, as the granny hops) The biker girl gave a small smile despite herself, as she remembered the cackling laughter of her great-grandmother, along with the virulent swears she threw at the older woman as she tried to keep up with someone who looked like Yoda and jumped like Spiderman. (Still, I hope he didn’t go further than this, ‘cause sprinting 5 blocks is pushing my limit.)

As she thought that, Donna looked around and stared as she caught sight of what looked like an inkblot floating above the sidewalk, a little ways up the street from her.  A strange feeling came over her as she looked at the thickening black spot, noticing tinges of green at the edges, and the way that many people were walking past it with only the barest of second looks.  Then something else showed through the darkness, standing out all the more as Donna caught a glimpse of something bright red in the mass.

Adrenaline speeding her recovery, she ran towards the anomaly and shouted, “OY!  Ranma!”

Ranma-chan blinked, feeling the depression and the heavy-chi that had been drawn to her because of it abating at the sound of her name being called.  She turned around, and blinked again as she saw a familiar face heading towards her, though thankfully not the kind of familiar that would come from her being called out by one of her former rivals or fiancé’s.  Letting the beginnings of the Shishi Hokodan she’d unconsciously been forming slip away, she turned around and called, “Donna?  What’re you—"

Ranma-chan stopped suddenly and frowned as she remembered that Donna had never met ‘Ranko’ before, and turned away from the biker girl, throwing over her shoulder, “I’m not who you think I am…” as her guy-side’s former friend caught up to her. “So just go away and—"

“Yeah, not happening, Sato.” Donna tossed out with a snort. “Or should I say, Ranma Saotome?”

Ranma-chan immediately whirled around and stared at Donna, whose lips were pursed in disapproval as the redhead stammered, “D-Donna?!  How did you know!?”

“Some nerd was recording your ‘date’ with the bitches,” Donna replied with a scowl. “And I was gonna beat him up, but then we both heard what you were sayin’ and…”

Ranma-chan paled as she whispered, “Oh _kami_ no.”

“Saotome, believe me when I say there’s a lot more going on than you realize.” Donna offered with a not unsympathetic look before pulling out her cellphone.  After a quick look around, noting the street names and nearby buildings, the biker girl sent off a quick text and returned her attention to the still sorrowful looking redhead. “Tell you what, while we’re waiting for the others, how about we get some ice cream?”

“Others?” Ranma-chan asked quietly, her eyes widening in fear. “What others!?”

“Your _real_ bodyguards showed up after you ran off, and they’re more dedicated to their job than you thought.” Donna said with a smile before nodding to her left, which was a nearby Dairy Queen. “My treat?”

Ranma-chan looked between her and the ice-cream shop several times, her despair and desire to flee warring with her appetite until she sighed heavily and said, “Fine…but whoever Britney got to watch me better have a way to fix this mess.”

00000

Clover sighed in relief, flanked by Sam and Alex as they spotted Donna and ‘Ranko’ sitting on a bench a little ways up the road. “Oh thank God, she did find him.”

“Her.” Alex corrected her friend, though she also shared the blonde’s relief.

“Call him-her whatever you want, once we find out what the hell’s goin’ on,” Mandy grumbled from behind the trio, before looking over her shoulder and asking, “You got the water, Arnold?”

“Y-yes, Mandy!” the blonde boy replied, holding the 16-ounce cup in front of him like it was the holy grail.

“Good, cause I _have_ to see just how deep this rabbit hole goes.” Sam threw out as she headed for the distant pair.

Donna spotted the group approaching first, and nudged Ranma-chan’s shoulder and said, “Here they come.”

Ranma-chan looked up from her treat and blinked several times as she caught sight of the same girls he’d run away from a little while ago, along with…

“Clover-chan?  Alex?  What are they doin’ here?”

Donna smirked at the redhead’s confused look. “Like I said, they’re dedicated to their job, eh?”

Ranma-chan’s eyes widened as that sank in, and she whispered, “They were the ones Britney was talking about!?”

“Apparently.” Donna nudged the redhead and said, “How about you go talk to ‘em yourself?”

Confused and a little apprehensive, Ranma-chan got to her feet as the sept-tet neared and called out, “What are you guys doing—"

Once again, the being who created Jusenkyo proved itself to be a mischievous and rather dickish creature as an otherwise innocuous part of the curb seemingly leapt up out of the ground.  Granted, it was all of a quarter of an inch, but it was more than enough for the klutzy Arnold to catch with the toe of his shoe and almost immediately faceplant with a pained cry, while the large cup of warm water he was carrying landed in the most obvious location.

The six girls blinked in unison as the redheaded girl who had been holding an ice cream cone and wearing a stained shirt that had been nearly dried out, suddenly turned into a dark-haired boy holding a melting mass atop a waffle cone and wearing a sopping wet shirt.  Ranma smacked his lips a few times and looked down at his snack, before saying, “You know, it says something when I’m more pissed that my ice cream is ruined than being exposed again.” While the biker girl behind him threw her head back and laughed uproariously.

“Ranma?” Alex asked hesitantly as the pigtailed boy sullenly dropped his cone into the gutter. “Is that really you?”

“Yeah, it’s me, Alex.” Ranma muttered without looking at her.

“I don’t believe it…” Dominique declared as Donna stood up off the bench and walked up behind the currently boy with a grin. “You were right about him changing back with warm water…”

At that, Ranma’s eyes snapped open and he turned to look suspiciously at Donna, who shrugged with an unapologetic grin. “”What can I say?  Granny’s fairy tales were pretty memorable.”

“Your _grandmother_ knew about Jusenkyo?” Ranma muttered, not losing his wary, tense posture as he eye’d up the biker girl.

“Great-grandma.  And she could use ki, like you were talkin’ about earlier.” Donna’s smile turned decidedly smug as she licked her ice cream. “She could roof-hop like it was nobody’s business, but I always thought it was ‘cause she had a pogo-stick hidden in that stupid staff of hers.”

Ranma froze, his mind spinning as he started making connections at a rapid pace. “D-did your grandmother come from a village called Niuchezu?”

“She never said the name, but she did say it was a little podunk in China full of boss-ass bitches.”

Sam looked between Ranma and Donna, totally lost but curious to see what the reason was for the sudden interrogation.

“Did she have a name that sounded like a beauty product?”

Donna blinked along with everyone else, confused by the non-sequitur question. “Beauty product?”

“Like, Xiam Pu, which sounds like Shampoo!” Ranma explained with an edge of nervous energy. “Ku Lon, Cologne!  Mu Tsu, Mousse!”

Donna’s expression changed, her eyes narrowing a little as she looked at Ranma for a moment, then mused aloud as she worked it out for herself. “Granny Lo…Lo Xion…lotion…son of a bitch.”

One last nail needed to hammer down his theory, Ranma looked Donna up and down, studying her intently before settling his eyes on her head. “And let me guess, that's your natural hair color, isn't it?”

“WHAT!?” Donna barked in outrage while she flushed crimson and the remainder of the group was torn between giggling, blushing, looking confused, or some mixture of the three. “What the hell are you asking that for?!?”

His Nerima instincts kicked in and Ranma waved his hand placatingly as he backed away fearfully from the suddenly hostile pinkette and stammered, “I-it’s not like that!  If you’re really an Amazon, then it all fits!”

“If I'm a **what?** ” Donna fist tightened as she growled at the back-pedaling boy.

Ranma broke out into a cold sweat. “A…Joketsuzoku?  A Chinese Amazon?”

“Chinese Amazons?” Sam repeated, her confusion regarding his too-personal comment fading as she looked at him incredulously. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”

Remembering the tinkle of that damnable bell on Shampoo’s bicycle, and a certain bubbly voice proclaiming _‘Wo ai ni!’_ , Ranma grunted, “I wish.  Shampoo’s been chasing me for the last _year_ ever since me and pops walked into her village, and for the first three months of it, she was trying to **murder** me, so I'm kinda familiar with the subject.”

The American teens digested that with varying expressions of renewed shock, while Donna hissed through red cheeks, “And what does that have to do with my hair?”

“Every Amazon I met had all sorts of wild hair colors, and Shampoo was naked around me so often that I **knew** her hair color was natural even though it freaking _purple_.”

Samantha’s eye twitched at that, running over the new information she’d gotten and matching it up with Ranma’s behavior as Alex looked curiously at the still blushing biker girl and asked, “Donna?”

Donna looked at her friend, then to the other assorted girls, and her eyes finally settled on the geeky boy she'd been _somewhat_ bonding with a little while ago.  She and Arnold met each other's eyes and they both turned beet red before looking away from each other as Donna coughed awkwardly into her fist and muttered, “That’s personal, runt.”

While such a response would sometimes be an effective deterrent, in this situation, a non-denial was as good as an admission and the spies along with their counterparts all gaped in shock as Clover blurted, “Like, _seriously?!_ ”

“Jeez, I thought you acted really butch,” Caitlyn looked at the pinkish-red hair topping the biker girl’s head. “But now it kinda evens out.”

“Bitch, don't make me put you through a wall!”

“And _that's_ the clincher,” Ranma stated with a satisfied nod. “You’re definitely a Joketsuzoku, or at least your grandma was one.”

“How does her threatening me translate into being an Amazon?” Caitlyn asked while keeping her eye on the scowling Donna.

“Put it to you this way,” Ranma said with a foul look. “Shampoo played up the ‘backwoods bimbo’ act by pretending she didn't know how **doors** worked, and would smash her way through _every_ wall of _any_ building I happened to be in when she attacked me.  Or later when she wanted to flirt with me.”

“…smash walls?” Sam’s mind churned back over the photographs and security videos Britney sent with a more understanding.  Refocusing her attention on Ranma rather than the now embarrassed apparently Amazon, the redhead calmed herself down and adopted a professional air. “Ranma, as much as I hate to tell you this, but Britney _did_ say the Nerima Wrecking Crew was some sort of terrorist cell.”

Ranma gaped at her for a moment, before groaning in disgust and saying, “Great…I should have known…no wonder you told Clover I was dangerous…”

The blonde narrowed her eyes, as she never told Ranma about what Sammy had said about him and asked pointedly, “How do you know that?”

Ranma returned the blonde’s glare. “Cause I was at the mall on Saturday and I _heard_ you three talking about me!  Why do you think I went to talk to Alex about your ex-boyfriends to see if there were any nasty ones?  I didn't want _her_ thinking I was gonna hurt you!” He accompanied this statement with a gesture to Sam.

Clover winced, which Ranma matched as the two of them looked away from each other, obviously still hurting from their break-up, as well as the new realization of their mutual mistakes regarding the secrets they’d kept from the other.  Rather than letting that particular drama bomb go off, especially while she was still in the vicinity, Samantha caught the pigtailed boy’s attention again as she asked, “So, if the Nerima Wrecking Crew aren’t some kind of terrorist cell, then what are they really?”

Ranma met the redhead’s eyes, and Sam felt a brief twinge of something in her chest.  Guilt for assuming the worst about Ranma, but at the same time a kind of happiness at finding out he wasn’t the horrible monster she’d been painting him as.  But all that only lasted for a moment before Ranma replied in a weary, frustrated tone. “The ‘Nerima Wrecking Crew’ is a joke name that Nabiki came up with to describe my fiancé’s and rivals, since the fastest way to tear down a building in Japan is to have me inside it.  5 minutes after I walk in the door, there’ll be at least 3 people tearing the place apart who want to kill me, marry me, or **both**.”

Sam maintained her calm and collected demeanor rather well, though the same couldn’t be said of Alex as she asked tremulously, “R-rivals?”

“Yeah, rivals.” Ranma scowled. “Cause for every girl chasing me, there are _twice_ that many guys who want my head on a stick, and always because they like one of the girls chasin’ me and want her to stop, or they think I’m disrespecting her for being a philandering lothario.  Most of the time though, it's **both** .” The pig-tailed boy shook his head, looking away from the girls as he added, “All of them, fiancé’s and rivals both, are strong fighters…and at some point or another, _all_ of them have said they wanted me dead.”

Another silence descended at that, broken by a few sniffles as some of the assorted teenagers felt a wave of sympathetic sadness for the pigtailed boy.  One particular crying girl gave a quiet whimper of, “Oh my God!” Before she suddenly lunged forward, burying her face in Ranma’s chest as she started sobbing into his shirt, paying no attention to how her own clothes were getting soaked from pressing herself against his sodden outerwear.

Ranma blinked in shock, before looking down at the blonde who was embracing him and giving a soft sigh.  He gently wrapped Clover in a warm hug, holding her shaking shoulders as she moaned, “I’m _so_ sorry!” Over and over again.  As much as a part of Ranma wanted to believe she was faking, now that he knew she was one of his _handlers_ , her current display along with the things he heard when she didn't know he was listening made it clear that what she’d felt for him was real.

Sam was with Donna for maintaining her poise, although the biker girl looked like she was simply channeling her pity into contempt for these supposed rivals and fiancé’s of Ranma’s.  Ignoring the loud honk from behind her, which came from Arnold blowing his nose on a tissue provided by Dominique, Sam coughed pointedly and declared, “In any case; Ranma, would you be willing to tell our boss everything you told us?  About the wrecking crew and you and Britney’s plan once you got to Beverly Hills?”

“Yeah.” Ranma nodded as he looked up from consoling his distraught ex-girlfriend. “Yeah, I’ve got no problem with that.”

“Good, cause the first chance I get, I’ll call him up and—"

The redhead was interrupted by a warbling tone from a pocket of her suit.  While she reached into the pocket in question, Alex said softly, “Wow…what a coincidence.”

“Coincidence?” Mandy asked before doing a double-take as Sam pulled out a compact make-up kit.  Then the snob’s jaw dropped when the kit opened and a man’s voice came out of it.

_“Sam, I need to speak to you and your team right away about your mission.”_

“Good timing Jerry.” Sam replied while ignoring the stares she was getting from most of the group. “Because we found out some new information on Ranma and we need to set-up a meeting—"

 _“Set-up will be unnecessary, Samantha.”_ Jerry cut her off abruptly. _“Transportation is on the way, brace yourselves.”_

Sam paled and shouted, “Wait, Jerry NO!” But too late as her apparent boss hung up, leaving her and her teammates to groan miserably while everyone else looked worriedly between the three girls.

Except for Dominique, who was still buzzing from the high of knowing real secret agents and was scanning the sky frantically as she asked breathlessly, “Like, what kind of transport is he sending?!  An invisible jet!?”

“A VTOL?” Arnold continued in just as much excitement. “Like a harrier or something?!”

“Not exactly,” the three spies groaned in annoyance.

Ranma felt a rumble through his feet, and his instincts kicked in as he tightened his hold on Clover before springing into the air, only to gape in surprise as the sidewalk underneath their group suddenly fell away and dropped the other teens into some kind of tube with a series of shocked screams.

As he landed on the edge of the sudden pit trap, Clover looked down at the hole with wide eyes and said, “Holy…I can't believe you managed to avoid that…”

Taking her lack of panic as a sign that what happened **wasn't** unfamiliar to his companion, Ranma looked down at the metal-lined tunnel with wide, incredulous eyes, “This is the ride your boss sent?”

“Yeah, but this is the first time I haven't been caught by it.” She looked away from the hole to Ranma and gave him an appraising look. “You really think I could learn how to do that?”

“Uhh, yeah?” Ranma offered hesitantly. “Yeah, eventually.”

Clover studied him for another moment, and a slow smile spread across her face as she tightened her hold on him and purred, “Ranma, you have _no_ idea how happy I am with you…but like, we should follow them, cause Jerry wouldn't have called us without a good reason.”

“Got it.” Ranma nodded as he hefted the blonde into a bridal carry and dived into the tube, ricocheting off the walls to control his descent as the sidewalk lifted back up into place, as though it had never been anywhere else.

-0-

Jerry cocked an eyebrow at the jumble of limbs he’d found splayed across the landing couch, finding a rather larger number of bodies than usual.  While unusual by itself, the fact that two of his agents were wearing men’s dress clothes, and three of the other figures were girls he nominally recognized as thorns in his favorite spie’s sides, and the last two…

Were a reedy blonde boy that he also recognized, who was pinned down by a girl in a red leather biker’s suit, both teens wide-eyed as they stared into each other’s eyes.  Of course, that was because their landing had resulted in the young woman’s lips being planted square against those of her accidental French tutor.

“Well now,” Jerry said with an amused smile, covering his surprise easily at the more-numerous-than-expected visitors. “I wasn’t expecting you to bring along company, Samantha.”

While Alex and Sam collected themselves with practiced ease and started assisting the other girls, the biker and the boy were both suddenly sitting at opposite ends of the couch, moving so fast that if Jerry didn’t know better, he’d have thought they’d teleported.  While he amused himself at thinking up a particular name for the precise hue of red their cheeks had turned, his eyes narrowed as he realized there was actually one _less_ visitor than there should have been.

“Where is Clover?”

Before Sam or Alex could reply, a thudding sound came from above.  By the time Jerry looked up, a blur of blue, black and tan shot out of the hole in the ceiling and landed on the floor.  The aging spymaster blinked at the sight of Clover, dressed in a similarly metro-sexual manner as her cohorts, being carried bridal style by the target of their latest mission.  As Ranma Saotome looked around, Jerry noted the protective way he was holding onto his agent and found himself lending a fair bit of credibility to Myrna’s statements regarding the teenager’s heroic instincts.  Of course, considering the way Clover was clinging to him, the spymaster had a feeling that she hadn't lost any of the ill-conceived attraction she held towards the pigtailed teen.

As he focused his attention on Jerry, Ranma took stock of him quickly and appraised him in a moment as someone who was surprisingly spry and fit for his age, but still way weaker than anyone back home. “Are you Britney’s boss?”

Jerry didn't bat an eye at the blunt question. “I am.”

Ranma carefully set Clover on her feet next to him and faced the grey-haired man.  After taking a deep breath, Ranma closed his eyes and bowed respectfully to the head of WOOHP and said, “I'm Ranma Saotome.  Sorry for causin’ you so much trouble, sir.”

Jerry chuckled at that, thinking about how such an encounter would have surprised him if not for the play-by-play he'd gotten earlier from Myrna. “It’s quite alright, Mr. Saotome.  From what I understand, I should be thanking you for protecting one of my agents.”

Clover did a double-take and blurted, “Wait, what?” as Sam and Alex finished rearranging the civilians and moved forward to stand next to her.

“Yes.  Miss Beesbottom has regained consciousness, though her mental state leaves something to be desired at the moment, and she explained that Mr. Saotome rescued Britney from her and prevented the creation of a truly diabolical mind-control serum.”

Mandy shared wide-eyed looks with the other civilians at that, while Sam looked at Ranma and said, “You _rescued_ Britney?” In a weak, slightly despairing voice.

Jerry noted the unusual tone from the leader of the team as Ranma chuckled in embarrassment. “Yeah, that was kind of an accident ‘cause I didn't know she needed rescuin’ until I was facin’ off against _Shinjirarenai_.”

Alex snorted rudely and started giggling, which prompted curious looks from her teammates until Jerry said, “Very amusing, Saotome-san.  Now, if you don't mind, I would like to know why I have the pleasure of your company.” And gave his agents a pointed look.

Taking the 5 pound hint to get on with the debriefing, Sam adopted a businesslike tone and posture while quietly suppressing her guilty conscience in regards to her earlier pessimistic assumptions about Ranma’s character. “Agent Britney falsified her report, because she believed that Ranma Saotome could be a valuable ally for WOOHP, in the form of an instructor or an agent.  However, due to…circumstances at home—"

Ranma scoffed quietly, which earned him a few sympathetic looks from many of those around him, including the grey-haired spymaster.

“—she believed it would be best if he left Nerima and escaped to Beverly Hills, while she remained behind to cover his trail.  Since Britney didn’t know how long that would take, she exaggerated her report so Ranma would have ‘bodyguards’ watching him for an indefinite period of time.”

Jerry nodded thoughtfully. “Considering what little Miss Beesbottom informed us of, I believe I would have done the same, at a minimum.  However, how did you come to this conclusion, Agent Simpson?”

Sam gave a weary, frustrated sigh. “ _Numerous_ inconsistencies in Ranma’s behavior contrasted with the image painted by Agent Britney regarding his supposedly villainous motivation.  Then,” Samantha looked over her shoulder towards the three snobs on the couch and added with a definite note of disgust, “ _Complications_ resulted in Ranma filling in those three on the reason why he was really here, which is when I was about to call you for a debriefing.”

As the spymaster looked at them, Mandy swallowed nervously and wondered if they’d give her and the others the decency of a warning before putting a bullet in the back of her head. (like spies usually did) Granted, it sounded like they weren’t _those_ kind of spies, but the snobs mind was still spinning at a quick pace and wondering how she could get out of this alive.

Then she noticed Ranma looking at her, an absolutely **foul** expression on his face like she would give a piece of dog crap on the sidewalk or sweater from Goodwill.  That face upset her, but also reminded her of the reason she’d followed after the boy in the first place and she called, “Wait!  Please, wait a minute!” before Sam could speak again.

Jerry regarded the snob with a cocked eyebrow and asked, “Yes, miss MacDonald?”

(Okay, he knows your name, bad sign.) Mandy swallowed heavily as she stood up and addressed the grey-haired brit. “I…I don't mean to interrupt…but I just wanted tell Ranma that I’m…really sorry about this.”

Ranma rolled his eyes and snorted in obvious disbelief, and Mandy scowled angrily at the pigtailed boy’s back.

“I'm serious!  I had no idea this was…” she gestured to their surroundings. “Like _this_ !  And you would have all that… _stuff_!”

“And why the hell does that mean I should believe you?” Ranma threw the snob a withering glare. “You had no problem using me to hurt Clover when you thought I was just a normal guy.”

Jerry made a mental note of that, while Mandy’s cheeks flushed and her eyes lowered for a moment. “You want proof?” The dark-haired girl asked quietly before turning to the blonde boy who was still on the couch. “Arnold, gimme the recording.”

“What?  Why would you—"

“Did I freaking stutter!?” Mandy snapped, causing Arnold to yipe fearfully before reaching into his briefcase and pulling out a complicated looking piece of technology.  Jerry watched calmly as the boy extracted an SD card and handed it to Mandy, who immediately walked over to the apparently non-villainous young man his best team had been watching for the past few weeks.

Mandy, looking and feeling contrite as she stood in front of the glowering teenager, held out the card and offered a quiet, “I am sorry…and I mean that…really.”

Ranma looked from her face to the little piece of plastic, and considered her words before gently taking the thumbnail-sized piece of circuitry from her and pinching it between his fingers.  After a second, the card snapped in two, making Mandy flinch and while Jerry had a thought that the display of strength was some sort of intimidation tactic, the fact that Ranma didn’t look at her when he effortlessly broke the card said otherwise.

Then there came a small whine from the couch, and Mandy snapped over her shoulder, “For God's sakes, I’ll buy you a new one, Arnold!”

That brought a few chuckles from the group while Arnold blushed in embarrassment, and Ranma gave Mandy a half-hearted, somewhat appraising look before nodding. “Guess that does make you better than other girls back home…thanks.”

“At least I didn’t try to make you look like a rapist.”

Jerry’s eyes bugged at the bitterly worded and _very_ disturbing statement, while Ranma merely snorted in grim amusement. “Yeah, but trust me, that still ain’t the top of the pile.  Damn close though…”

“What!?” Clover gawped at the pigtailed boy, her lip quivering as she blurted, “What could be worse than _that!?_ ”

As Ranma turned around, Jerry cleared his throat meaningfully, bringing the attention of the teenagers back to him, along with their companion and guests, the later of whom were watching him with more than a bit of fear.  After a moment to make absolutely certain he had everyone’s attention, and enjoy the nervous suspense of the girls who’d hindered or annoyed his best agents, Jerry smiled and said, “It’s very nice to see you again, miss MacDonald, not that you would remember, of course.”

Mandy’s eyes widened and she stared at the balding brit in confusion. “Like, what?  How would I know you?”

“You’ve been here before, Mandy.” Alex answered in lieu of her boss. “WOOHP erases the memories of civilians who find out they exist.”

“Wait, what!?” Mandy gaped at the hispanic girl, shocked and suddenly filled with hope of being able to walk away from here alive. “You’re not going to kill us?!”

Jerry chuckled lightly. “That’s the second time you made that assumption, Miss MacDonald and believe me, if that were ever an option, I doubt you’ve done any more to warrant such a grim result as the last time you and your companions were here.”

Caitlyn and Dominique sat up straighter, the latter of the two asking, “We were here too?  Why?”

Samantha looked over her shoulder, and while she would have liked to see the trio sweat a little more, the fact that they’d tried to find Ranma and _Mandy_ of all people apologized made up for a lot of her frustration and she offered, “Some whacko brainwashed you three into attacking us on a mission.  We caught him and sent him to jail, so don’t worry about that happening again.”

Mandy blinked, finding it hard to believe that she’d been in danger, but _far_ more surprised to hear that the three girls she’d all but sworn a blood oath against had saved her and her cronies lives. “Oh…thanks?”

“What about us?” Donna asked pointedly from the couch, hiding her apprehension under a bit of narrow-eyed bluster. “You’re just gonna bleach our brains too?”

“It’s not so crude an experience as that,” Jerry corrected her with a not unsympathetic look. “But our operational security does depend on secrecy, so we will have to erase any memories you have of the day's events—"

“No.”

Jerry blinked and returned his attention to Ranma, the boy having been silent for the following exchange, but was now looking at him with a serious, disapproving expression. “If you gotta cover up Sam, Alex, and Clover-chan being spies, that’s one thing.  But I don’t want you to erase the stuff I told them about me.”

Keeping his face carefully neutral and not calling attention to the rather _interesting_ addition to Agent Manson’s name, Jerry regarded the boy with renewed interest as Mandy stared at Ranma in complete surprise.

“Britney told me you guys do that kind of thing, and I understand it, but I don’t like it.” The pigtailed boy frowned as he remembered the mess Shampoo had dragged him into the first time she’d shown up in Japan. “I’ve got personal experience with that kind of thing, and being forgotten like that is one of the worst experiences in the world.”

Mandy wasn’t alone in regarding Ranma with renewed curiosity and more than a bit of sympathy, though she did blink when he turned and gave her a small half-smile. “Besides, if you forgot about the stuff I told you today, you’d go back to being the girl who _wouldn’t_ have given me that recording and apologized, and I like _this_ you a lot more than that one.”

(He’s not flirting with her.) Clover thought as she twitched and stopped herself from fixing Ranma with a look that would have incinerated him on the spot. (He’s just being a sweetheart and he sure as fuck isn’t flirting with _Mandy_ , even if she **did** act like a decent person for once.)

While Clover was restraining herself with some difficulty, Mandy blushed as a warm, grateful feeling came to her chest.  While the happiness of doing the right thing was present, there was a small part of her that insisted she’d done the smart thing by giving Ranma that card, because having a boy who could use (and teach!) superpowers as a…not enemy was preferable to any payback she could have gotten from posting that recording online and letting the plebeian masses do whatever they pleased with it.

“I will take your request under advisement, Saotome Ranma.” Jerry replied with a smile. “But I think we can swing that, as I believe we owe you that much for saving Britney’s life and helping her complete her mission.  However, there is the question of why one of my best agents would compromise herself for your sake beyond mere gratitude.”

As he turned back to the older man, Ranma gave a small sigh and asked, “How much did _Shin-_ sorry, I mean, Myrna tell you?”

“She informed us of the…peculiarities of the group we’d mistakenly believed you to be the leader of, though now I believe you were the ‘Wrecking Crews’ leader in the same way that a fox will _lead_ of a pack of hounds and their master.”

(Sounds about right.) Sam thought darkly, that guilty twinge acting up again while Clover muttered, “No kidding…”

“That’s…I don’t really get that reference, but if you mean they never left me alone, then that’s about right.” Ranma replied, his expression darkening. “But the main reason Britney helped me was because she saw what I could do and since all the stuff I’ve learned was through training, it means that anybody can do it if they put their mind to it.”

Seeing the boy’s scowl, Jerry cocked and eyebrow and pointedly asked, “And what else, Saotome-san?”

“And…” Ranma closed his eyes, his hands clenched into fists as the image of the fat panda and it’s human counterpart flashed across his mind. “She was repayin’ the favor, when I saved her life.  Because she found out just how messed up my life really was…and how everything I’ve done was going to go to waste, because of some selfish, lazy, panda.”

“Panda?”

“My old man, he’s got a curse that turns him into a panda, like I turn into a girl.” Ranma answered, not hearing the quiet gasp from Alex as he went on. “And for the longest time, I thought it was because the cheap bastard didn’t want to buy a tour guide in a language he could understand…but then I found out the truth, and I couldn’t stay in Nerima anymore.”

Before he could be prompted for more information, Ranma stepped forward and gave Jerry a look that banished any of the remaining doubts from the spymasters mind regarding Ranma’s mental and moral fortitude.  There was anger and just a hint of sadness, but a will of tempered steel that said the boy was using his fury and pain to make his resolve to do the right thing even stronger.

“Sir, my old man was a piece of sh- _garbage_ who made a lot of mistakes, but the biggest mistake is the reason I’m here right now and asking to work for your organization.  He _taught_ me that martial artists are supposed to act honorably, protect the weak, and do the right thing, even though he didn’t believe a word of it himself.”

“Back home, I wasn’t honorable, because I pulled a lot of dirty tricks and while I wanna say it was justified ‘cause I was fighting people who’d stacked the deck against me,” Ranma gritted his teeth. “That ain’t an excuse I wanna use again.”

“I didn’t protect the weak,” he went on, his knuckles whitening as he clenched his fists. “I got dragged into fights that were _none_ of my business, fightin’ for people who wouldn’t even give me a ‘thank you’ or a ‘good job’ before roping me into another scheme because, _‘Ranma Saotome never backs down from a challenge’_.”

That phrase, spat with such bitterness and contempt, brought a host of sympathetic looks from from everyone present.

“And I never did the right thing, even when I thought I was, because I was treated like a _mushroom_ by my old man and everyone else around me; kept in the dark and fed a load of shit while I went around thinkin’ my _pride_ meant more than anything else in the world.  A lot of my problems could have been solved if I said I was sorry, or if I tried to come up with a solution that didn’t involve the Art, or went out and learned things on my own instead of relying on someone else to spoon-feed me the answer.  But I didn’t, and all that did was trap me in a deeper hole that I couldn’t get out of on my own.”

Ranma’s eyes never wavered, though his tone had shifted a little during his speech, and the core of his willpower remained as he finished with a serious, “Britney pulled me out of that hole, sir.  And she told me how I could do all the things I’d been taught to do…but I’ve never did and never would if I stayed in Nerima.” the pigtailed boy bowed again, deeper than he had before in a clear marker of respect and a request for aid as he said, “Jerry-san, I want the chance to do what I was taught to do, what I’m _supposed_ to be doin’…please.”

Although Ranma didn’t see it due to his lowered eyes, Sam caught Jerry’s smile and she felt a relieved, happily expectant flush appear on her face while Clover hissed a barely audible, “Yes!” under her breath and Alex grinned from ear-to-ear, even as she wiped away the few tears that had escaped when she’d heard the circumstances of Ranma’s upbringing.

Mandy rubbed her arm, thinking about what she’d heard and having to admit that this was probably the best thing for Ranma, if his life had been _that_ messed up in Japan.  Of course, she also afforded herself a nice look at the pigtailed boy’s ass while he was bent over, which was shared by Caitlyn and Dominique as the former lightly elbowed the latter in the side, and the two of them nodded in agreement.

The three snobs, plus Arnold and Donna, were startled out of their casual observation as the M&M shaped machine hanging from the ceiling just above and behind the old man lowered itself and a digitized feminine voice said placidly, “Shall I submit Saotome Ranma’s application now, Jerry?”

“Not yet, Gladis.” Jerry shook his head, though his smile didn’t fade as he added, “There are protocol’s to such things, even if a future employee is of _exceptional_ quality.”

Donna and Arnold blinked and shared a look from their opposite sides of the couch.  The blonde nerd mouthed a subtle variation on the machine's name, and Donna smirked before softly whistling an upbeat tune that made Arnold grin and snicker in amusement.  This earned the pair a set a confused looks from the two snobby girls sitting between them.

“Saotome-san, while I cannot hire you at the moment, you will be happy to know that I am not going to leave you to twist in the wind.  Agents Manson, Simpson, and Rodriguez will continue to safeguard you and make sure none of your ‘fan club’ will discover where you have fled to.”

Clover resisted the urge to squeal with giddy excitement, and through the gigantic smile on her face, she mentally categorized all the toys and lingerie and oils she had access to and ran down a checklist of positions to try with her beau-

“ **After** they have given me a personal report of their investigation so far.”

Clover’s fantasies crash halted and her face fell when she saw Jerry fixing her with a suspicious look, and she had to suppress the urge to run away from her boss very very fast.  Alex clearly had a similar idea as she gave a small whimper of fear, while Sam closed her eyes and made a quiet noise somewhere between a groan and a sigh of resignation.

“But after that, I would like to discuss something of an ‘internship’ with you, so I can get a better idea of what you can bring to my organization.” Jerry thought for a moment and added, “Also, I’d like to get as many details on your circumstances as possible, because at the moment we don't actually have any information on who is involved in the ‘wrecking crew’ besides yourself.” The spymaster’s eyes narrowed. “Which seems like a gross miscalculation on Agent Britney’s part, frankly.”

“Actually, that was…kinda intentional.” Ranma scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. “Cause if anyone showed up looking for me, they’d be really obvious about it, and I know some stuff’s been wrecked in Nerima, but our fights never involve…” The pigtailed boy trailed off as he searched for the right word.

“Civilians?” Jerry offered, thinking back to the tapes and pictures he’d seen and how there hadn’t been any sign of personal damage, such as blood stains or clothing or other biological debris.  At the time, he’d assumed the images had come after those injured or worse had been taken away, but now…

“That’s it.” Ranma nodded. “Don’t get me wrong, the fights get a lot of attention and usually attract an audience, but we’re alm-always careful about hurting anyone else.”

Jerry noted approvingly that Samantha had also noticed the relatively minor slip-up on Ranma’s part.

“If you guys knew who was in the Wrecking Crew, you’d try to take em down yourselves and just get hurt.” Ranma shrugged. “Me and Britney both agreed the better choice was to wait for one of them to come to me, because _when_ they attacked me, you’d figure things weren’t on the up-and-up and could arrest ‘em after I beat ‘em without your agents getting hurt.”

Sam felt something else inside her mind give, and she sagged as she looked at Ranma and quietly asked, “You were…using yourself as bait?”

“Umm…” Ranma looked curiously at the redhead, wondering why she suddenly looked like a half-deflated balloon as he replied, “Kinda, yeah?”

At that, Sam closed her eyes and dropped her head into her hand, which prompted a concerned, “Something wrong, Samantha?” from her boss.

“Just realizing I’m a stubborn, suspicious, **bitch** …”

Snorts, staring and quizzical blinks followed that statement as Jerry uttered a flabbergasted, “Excuse me?”

“I’ll explain during our debriefing, Jerry.” the redhead replied without lifting her head from her hand, while Alex patted her friend reassuringly on the back and Clover had the _smuggest_ of smug grins plastered across her face.

“Right.” Jerry replied with obvious curiosity, but he didn’t press the issue as he turned to Ranma and asked, “Well, I appreciate your efforts, Saotome-san, but as we are now supposed to be guarding you, I will need to get descriptions of your followers ASAP.”

Ranma frowned. “No offence, Jerry-san; your guys might be good, but they ain’t _Nerima_ good.  So I’ll tell you who’s in the crew, but if any of them show up, **don’t** try to arrest em if they ain’t doin’ anything wrong yet.  Just give me a heads up so I can hide and figure out a way to lure them out of town.”

The spymaster thought for a moment, then nodded in agreement. “Very well then.  Now,” Jerry nodded to Mandy and the other 4 guests, who stiffened when he addressed them. “If you wouldn’t mind, ladies and gentleman, we’ll be sending you home now.”

As the door to her left slid open, Mandy looked at the metal-lined hallway beyond and whimpered fearfully. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather—"

She stopped when a hand was laid on her shoulder, and looked up to see Ranma smiling at her reassuringly. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ll go with and make sure they don’t try anything.”

Jerry was tempted to reassert his stance that his organization would not ‘brain bleach’ more than was necessary, but held his tongue as Ranma’s words had the intended effect as Mandy hesitantly nodded and said, “Okay…but if they do something to us—"

“Then I’ll get you out of here, I promise.” The pigtailed teen laughed lightly. “I’m pretty much an expert at daring rescues, so don’t even worry about it.”

While confusing, his statement eased Mandy’s mind, and soon Jerry was left alone with his agents.  He regarded the trio with the professional, suspicious air of a father who woke up and found the family car parked at an odd angle (on the porch across the street.) “Well, girls?  Shall we start the debriefing?”

(Oh sure, Ranma’s gonna protect _Mandy_ ,) Clover internally moaned as she wondered if she could make a break for it. (But who’s gonna protect **us**!?)

-0-

Ranma headed down the hall with Mandy and her cronies, as well as Donna and Arnold.  The sextet were mostly silent, with the three snobs watching the pigtailed teen warily and hopefully, like he was both a siren announcing the presence of a hurricane and a sturdy shelter to protect them from same.

Donna however, eye’d up Ranma interestedly as she recalled the outpouring of spite he’d loosed regarding his father. “So what's the deal with your old man, Saotome?  Cause it sounded like you wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire.”

Ranma chuckled at the crude statement and offered a simple, “Sounds about right…I mean, I my respect for him dropped when the first of those fiancés showed up, and all the other bad decisions he made started coming home to roost.” his amusement faded into a dark scowl and he felt the heavy Ki gather slowly at the edges of his aura. “But when Britney gave me his journal, _that_ was when I said **fuck** him and everything he stands for.”

Turning his head, Ranma glanced at Mandy and said, “Neh, Mandy?  Do you  know what’s one of the greatest skills for a fighter to have?”

Mandy blinked, confused as the sudden attention, but went along with Ranma’s game as she answered, “Umm…being really strong, I guess?”

Donna snorted rudely, which earned her an ugly look from Mandy as the thug chortled, “And what good is being strong if you can't hit the guy?  My granny said speed takes priority over power.”

Arnold, thinking on his various anime experiences, hesitantly said, “Umm, being able to analyze your opponent so you know what they'll do next?”

Donna blinked at that and then grumbled when she realized she’d missed the better answer, as Ranma looked at the blonde boy and replied, “You’re closest, but all of those are important, and I was trained in them too.  But the big one is how to improvise and adapt to your enemies fighting style, and that’s what my old man taught me how to do, even though I never realized it.”

“S’cuse me?” Donna looked incredulously at the pigtailed boy. “I thought he taught you cheap shots and how to run away from your enemies.”

“Yeah.” Dominique scowled darkly as she remembered a piece from the recording she’d made. “Like, ‘grab a girls tits so she’ll freeze up’?”

Mandy and Caitlyn’s eyes twitched and Arnold gawped at that, while Ranma muttered darkly, “Yeah, he showed me how to do all that crap, but it wasn’t because he wanted me to be a coward.  He did it cause that made it _easier_ on him as a teacher.” The pigtailed boy scowled as he looked away from the group and focused on the hallway ahead. “His entire life, all he ever wanted was the easy way out to some kind of respectable job, while still doing what he loved.” Side-eyeing Donna, Ranma spat, “Founding a famous martial arts school was what he came up with.”

“And he taught you dirty tricks ‘cause that made founding a school easier?” Caitlyn pursed her lips in confusion. “I don't get it.”

“I would inherit the Saotome school, but teaching people how to run away would shame the school.  If all the school’s ‘Secret Techniques’ are worthless, then _someone’s_ gonna have to come up with new ones.”

Caitlyn's eyes widened in understanding and Donna breathed a soft, “Son of a _bitch_ …”

“Yeah, all I learned was the basics and how to think on my feet, _and_ that I have to accept any challenge, no matter how braindead stupid.” Ranma stopped walking, his eyes hooded and lips curled in a sneer. “The school would be famous because I’d fight anyone who walked in the door and wanted to try their luck, while my _training_ would let me stay ahead of anything they’d throw at me until I figured out my opponents weak points and improvised some way to kick his ass.”

Turning to the group, Ranma regarded them with a sullen look, “Pops gets to retire after founding a famous martial arts school, which he never created secret techniques or a formal training regimen for, and gets to spend the rest of his life laying around and doing as little as possible.” The pigtailed boy held up a finger. “And he gets all that, from training one.  Single.  Student.”

The hallway was quiet for several moments, before Arnold muttered, “Mas Oyama is spinning in his grave right now…”

“Like, who?”

Recalling that Mandy didn’t have the same breadth of knowledge he did, Arnold amended his statement with a hesitant, “Bruce Lee?”

The snob ‘ahh’ed and nodded in understanding. “Like, totally.”

Ranma nodded in agreement, a small smile on his face as he realized there was someone else he could probably discuss martial arts with besides Donna, even if the end goal he’d been striving towards had changed drastically. “Yeah, though that didn’t stop my old man from putting me through a trainin’ regimen that even Oyama or Lee wouldn't go through.”

“Yeah?  What's that?”

Recalling how ‘dodgeball with beehives’ had apparently been an understatement, Dominique hesitantly rebuffed Donna’s question. “I’d rather not know, frankly.  I already think I’m gonna have nightmares about today.”

Donna pursed her lips, but offered a conciliatory, “Yeah, good point.  Cause no offense, Ranma, but your life sounded like a trainwreck.”

A few hundred yards away, several doctors and nurses glanced up from their notes as their seemingly asleep patient snickered and said, “Callback…” before drifting off into a true slumber, while the pigtailed boy replied wearily, “You have no idea…” as the teens continued their trek through the high tech halls.

-0-

“I see.” Jerry mused with a serious expression. “And there isn't a definite number to these fiancée’s?”

“No, Jerry.” Sam affirmed with a shake of her head. “He said his dad never recorded them in his journal, probably so there wouldn't be any evidence.”

“Didn't seem to help matters,” Jerry observed as he sat back in his chair. “As these people were able to find him as soon as he settled down.” The older man’s eyes narrowed. “There may be something there, and we should ask Ranma about that when he returns.”

“And about his ‘mini-mob boss’ sister-in-law.” Sam threw in, her frown speaking volumes, though not as much as Alex’s scowl or Clover’s quiet mumblings which sounded like language unbecoming of a young woman.

“The one who came up with the _nom de guerre_ for Ranma’s fanclub and believed threatening to make him look like a sexual predator was a funny prank…”  Jerry completely understood his agents anger, though the extreme displeasure from the more ‘free-spirited’ member of the team had all but confirmed his suspicions regarding her behavior towards WOOHP’s latest ally.  Turning to the agent in question, Jerry asked, “Agent Clover, do you mind explaining to me more of the details on this date you went on with Saotome-san?”

Clover jerked her head up, snapped out of her decidedly horrific musings on the punishments she wanted to visit on the **cunt** who’d taken advantage of her former/future boyfriend as she stammered, “W-what?!  Our date?!”

“Yes, your date.” Jerry affirmed with only a slight narrowing of his eyes. “I trust you were a professional in your involvement with Saotome-san?”

A drop of nervous sweat ran down Clover’s neck and she gave a weak laugh as she scratched the back of her head and smiled a touch too widely. “Y-yeah!  Totally chill super spy, that’s me!”

As one, Sam and Alex both closed their eyes and their head drooped, each sharing a similar thought of (Zero.  Fucking.  Poker face.) and waited for Jerry to call the blonde out on her pathetic attempt at deception.

“Really?  Well, that’s good to know.”

Sam and Alex’s head snapped up and they gaped at the relieved smile on Jerry’s face as he added, “I was worried for a moment there, because your little spat with Saotome-san almost seemed like a _lovers quarrel_.”

(Oh God.) Sam went pale as she saw the obvious ploy on the part of their leader and braced herself for the bombshell. (This is gonna **suck**.)

“No, no, obviously me and Ranma didn’t do anything like that!” Clover replied with a laugh that was _totally_ genuine and not at all stressed-induced from stark terror at being caught in a lie. “I mean, I just kissed him goodnight!  That wasn’t over the line, was it?”

(Wait for iiittt……)

“Hmm, it’s toeing the edge…but I don’t see too much of a problem with it.” Jerry said after a moment of thoughtful consideration.

(Here it comes…)

“But that shouldn’t be any problem, as long as your report matches the electronic data from your cameras.”

Sam’s head dropped and she internally groaned, (Thank you and goodnight) with a resigned sigh as Clover’s back snapped ramrod straight, she and Alex both looking at their boss with matching expression of mute horror as she squeaked, “Th-the data?”

“Yes, the recordings from your spy cameras to make sure everything matches up with yours and Saotome-san’s story.” Jerry regarded the two whey-faced girls and gave them a look that screamed ‘innocent curiosity’ as he asked, “There isn’t a _problem_ with the data, is there?”

Clover and Alex both shared a look of quiet fear and dread, only to be broken by Sam intoning in a dead voice without raising her head, “Clover.  He knows.  Just get it the hell over with.”

After a quick glance from her co-conspirator to her redheaded leader and then back to their boss, Clover closed her eyes and sagged as she murmured, “I slept with him…third base.”

Jerry sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, having expected something like that, even if it was still a disappointment regarding her lack of restraint.  Thinking that, judging by their behaviors, Alex had known about Clover’s dalliance and covered for her while Samantha had tried to stop it, Jerry turned to the Hispanic member of the trio and said, “Miss Vasquez, is there anything—"

“I did too!”

Jerry blinked at Alex’s mournful wail. “You what?”

“I did it with Ranma too!” The mocha-skinned beauty moaned regretfully through crimson cheeks. “I went all the way with him in the girls locker room at school, and it was _awesome!_ ”

Excluding the fact that she was discussing a romantic tryst in the same way a grieving widow would lament over her spouses open grave, Jerry’s calm facade shattered with the force of a small grenade and he blurted, “Excuse me!?!” In utter shock.

“Alex has a slight hormonal issue with athletic activity, sir.” Sam explained without raising her head, while Alex sniffled, her cheeks burning with humiliation after confessing her sin. “I’ll spare you the details, but after playing soccer with ‘Ranko’, Alex went to shower and relieve some stress, not knowing that Ranma had the same idea, and didn’t know he was in the girls locker room until Alex walked in.  In Alex’s state of mind, Ranma was like catnip to her.”

“I…I see…” Jerry murmured, unable to tear his eyes away from the crying latina and utterly flabbergasted by the thought that the most innocent of his agents could behave in such a way as befitting the undoubtedly _least_ innocent one. “Anything else?”

Clover and Alex shared another look.  Regret and sorrowful embarrassment radiating off both of them, which increased by an order of magnitude when they looked back at Jerry and Clover groaned, “I ‘kissed’ Ranma,”

“And I had sex with him,” Alex added with a small sob.

“And then we _both_ had sex with him.” Clover grimaced.

“At the same time.” Alex finished with a whimper.

Sam’s eyes opened.  Slowly, more and more of the white of her sclera appeared as she raised her head, not even noticing that Jerry had matched her expression of ‘critical cranial meltdown’ as all her attention was focused on Clover and Alex.  Her head swiveled between the two girls, back-and-forth between sagging regret and crying shame at a gradually accelerating pace until she and Jerry both shouted the same thing at identical volume and nearly identical pitch.

 **“YOU** **_WHAT!?!_ ** **”**

00000

Outside a certain Starbucks, Mandy and her cohorts were walking away from the coffee shop with Arnold bringing up the rear while Donna walked just behind him, merely heading towards her waiting motorcycle rather than walking with them. (or so she’d said)

“I gotta say Mandy.” Arnold stated with quiet admiration to the lead snob. “I’m glad you gave Ranma the recording instead of…”

“Instead of bein’ a bitch.”

Mandy glared over her shoulder at the nonplussed Donna and snapped, “Hey, I’m not _that_ mean!  Even if he did steal our underwear!”

“Except, he gave em right back.”

Dominique snorted. “What else would he have done with them?  Throw ‘em in a pile and hoard em like they’re collectors items?”

While a sneeze sounded somewhere in Tokyo, in Beverly Hills, a girl with long, bushy black hair gave her her short-haired brunette companion an incredulous look. “Like, what kind of pervert would do _that_?”

“I don’t know, I’m just throwing ideas out there.” Dominique replied to Caitlyn’s question. “I mean, if Ranma had worn them, it wouldn't be as weird ‘cause he actually _could_ if he got some cold water first.”

The group thought about that for a moment before Donna said, “You’re taking his whole curse thing really well.”

“Yeah well, I’ll freak out about a guy turning into a girl some other time.” The bushy-haired girl waved off the biker. “I mean, he _might_ try something with it, but aside from the underwear thing, he was straight up _horrified_ when Alex walked in on him in the locker room, and he didn’t even realize it wasn’t the boys room until she told him.”

“Kinda hard to peep on girls in a place where there’s lots and lots of hot water nearby.” Arnold said thoughtfully. “One splash and he’s _beyond_ dead.”

“I don’t know.” Mandy said quietly, frowning as a thought occurred to her. “If he got splashed in the boy’s locker room, it’d be an instant peep show.”

The others matched her ugly expression, each of them considering the negatives of having a gender-flipping curse like that, before Donna offered quietly, “It could be worse.”

“How's that?”

“Granny told me that hunters from her village were ordered to bring back live animals they caught, and that all meat had to be boiled before they cooked it.” Donna’s lip curled in disgust. “I thought she was bein’ weird back then…but now that I know the curse is real—"

“Please stop.” Arnold asked quietly, his cheeks an unhealthy green tinge which was matched by Mandy and her crew as they considered the horrific idea of accidentally cannibalizing someone.

“Right.” Donna shrugged before turning to her ride and saying, “I'll catch you guys at school on Monday.”

“Okay.” Arnold nodded, feeling a little despondent from having enjoyed the biker girls company, He started to turn away and follow Mandy and the others, then paused and looked back at Donna. “Hey, Donna?”

Donna turned to look at him, sitting astride her bike while snapping her helmet on. “You need something, geek?

“Ahh…” Arnold blushed and walked back to her, prompting curious looks from the snob trio as he stood in front of the biker girl and said, “Umm, have you ever seen _Magi_?”

Donna cocked an eyebrow under her helmet. “Can't say I have.  Don't have _that_ much time for watchin’ anime, so I usually stick to the more well-known stuff.”

“It's, ah, it's really good.  I mean, I like it, and I was wondering if you might—"

Arnold's nervous babbling ended in a panicked yelp when Donna reached out and grabbed him by the lapels of his shirt, yanking him forward and giving him a _very_ clear look at her narrowed eyes behind the visor of her helmet. “Are you asking me out on a _date_ , geek?”

Arnold gave a small whimper, before offering a hesitant, “Maybe?”

Mandy watched her go-fer being manhandled by Donna, and while she was curious what brought it on, she was fairly certain the creepy little nerd did something to deserve it.  Then Donna turned towards them and called out, “Hey!  You three got any plans for him?”

“Not really.” Mandy replied with a questioning look. “We’re all just going home.”

Despite the relative distance between them, Mandy _still_ managed to see Donna’s wide smile underneath her helmet before she turned back to Arnold and said something Mandy couldn't hear, but whatever it was made the nerd simultaneously pale and blush even harder.  The snob’s jaw dropped when Donna yanked Arnold forward and pulled him onto the back of her bike.  After turning and saying something to the blonde nerd that made him suddenly latch onto the leather-clad girl like a spidermonkey, Donna’s bike engine roared when she gunned it, and soon the pair were speeding away down the road.

Mandy stood there for a moment, staring at the place where Arnold had been all but kidnapped along with her two minions, when Dominique quietly said, “Is it weird that I could accept a guy turning into a girl, but now I can't believe what I just saw?”

“I…I don't think so.” Caitlyn offered with a small shake of her head.

00000

“When!?  HOW!?”

“Monday, after you came up with that stupid 3-way date idea!”

“ _STUPID_ !?  You just proved **exactly** why it wasn’t a stupid idea!  What the hell were you thinking!?!”

“I was thinking that you were _wrong_ and I wasn’t going to wait until **after** you figured that out to show him the best night of his life!”

“And you dragged Alex into it!?”

“No!  Sammy, Clover didn’t tell me either!  I just went to visit her house, and I then I got curious what Ranma was up to and when I turned on the cameras, I saw them!”

“How does that lead you to fucking both of them!?”

“I-it was really **hot** , Sammy!  And I called up Clover after the first time cause I wanted to ask her if I could sleep with him again!”

“H-ha-habba, how the-?!”

“But she said it wouldn’t be cheating if we were with him at the same time, so—"

“So you’re blaming _me_ , Alex!?  Some gratitude!”

“I’m not blaming you, I’m being honest!  It was the greatest night of my life!”

“You’re insane!  Both of you!  How in the name of hell did you two think something like that wouldn’t end in disaster!?!”

“Sammy, I’m pissed that we got caught, but don’t think for a _second_ that I will apologize for screwing Ranma into the ground, because **nothing** you or WOOHP could do would make me feel sorry for-!”

**“ENOUGH!!!”**

All three girls arguing silence immediately, and they focused their attention on their red-faced boss.  The normally calm, intractable brit looking like a police chief in an buddy-cop action movie seconds before screaming for the protagonists to turn in their badges.  While Sam wondered if the throbbing vein in his forehead meant the older man was in serious danger of rupturing something, Jerry intoned grimly, “Girls…I can safely say that I have _never_ been more disappointed in you than I am right now…”

Alex gave a choked whimper and Clover looked away guiltily.

“Even if you were proven correct in your half-baked, optimistic _theory_ that Saotome Ranma was not as villainous as he’d been painted, that does not excuse you getting close to him, _nevermind_ being **intimate** with him; _especially_ when your orders were to do the complete **opposite!** ”

As much as Sam wanted to enjoy her cohorts justified comeuppance, she couldn’t bring herself to savor the dressing down Jerry was giving them.  Especially because it was obvious that she wasn’t going to be getting out of this unscathed, as exemplified when Jerry looked at her and asked sternly, “While it’s obvious that you had no idea about the _menagé a trois_ your partners engaged in with the target of your mission, would you mind explaining to me why you kept silent about their other dalliances, Samantha?”

“…I trusted that Clover would be _careful_ , and not do something _stupid_ ,” Sam replied, ignoring the ugly glare that the blonde sent her way. “And I had no idea that Alex would have done…what she did.” Again, the redhead ignored her other partner as the hispanic girl gave a low, sorrowful whine. “But the intel they gained was muddying the waters regarding Britney’s information, and I wanted to see what else they could dig up, as long as they stopped crossing the line with him.”

Jerry’s eyes narrowed. “So, you used your partners to gather information?”

“Yes and no, Jerry.” Sam replied honestly, frowning a little at his accusatory tone implying that she used her two best friends as tools for the sake of the mission. “That was a side-benefit, because if Ranma was as bad as we’d been told, I wanted Alex and Clover to be front and center, so they would learn **why** we’re not supposed to get that close to dangerous suspects.”

Jerry nodded at that, though he said with a measure of disapproval. “And now that it seems you were wrong?”

Sam shot a look at her partners before answering, “I while I would have been well within my rights to call in a different team, as this outcome is only going to reinforce their bad behavior—"

“Sammy!?”  
“SAMMY!”

“HOWEVER!” Sam shouted, drowning out the hurt and outraged cries coming from either side of her. “Since it turns out Clover and Alex instincts were right and Ranma wasn’t as bad as he appeared, I think the better solution would have been to alert you to the inconsistencies, and prioritize some way to get in touch with Agent Britney to double-check her findings, because then this whole mess could have been avoided and we could do our _actual_ mission, instead of going off of intentionally misleading intel.”

Jerry pursed his lips, even as he privately approved of Samantha’s diplomatic turn around which had successfully soothed her friends hurt feelings.  Nevertheless, he nodded and said, “Duly noted, Agent Simpson.  You do realize that does not mitigate some form of punishment towards your partner's, correct?”

“I do.  Though if you ask me,” Sam looked meaningfully at Alex’s tear-streaked cheeks. “I’d say their punishment can be a bit lighter, considering…”

The older man likewise spared the distraught latina a sympathetic look. “So it appears.  But there are rules about this sort of thing, so if you don’t mind, let’s get down to it.” Jerry waited for a moment as his three agents comported themselves like the professionals they were, (supposed to be) before continuing. “As Saotome Ranma was placed here deliberately, and the danger he faces is grave enough to warrant such close observation, it would be a mistake to move him somewhere else at this point.  Furthermore, taking you three off this mission would be rather impossible without a similar transfer elsewhere, which is out of the question.”

“However, in light of the lack of professionalism you have shown, I will be putting restrictions on your current assignment.” Jerry’s eyes narrowed. “As Saotome Ranma is not a suspect, the majority of your surveillance equipment at his apartment will be directed towards the outside rather than inward, to keep a watch for external threats and protect his _privacy_ , save for the commonly accessible areas such as the kitchen and living room.”

Clover pouted at that, mentally waving a sorrowful goodbye to her early morning schlick sessions with a heavy heart.

“Also, all videos from those feeds will be submitted to WOOHP headquarters on a daily basis, and any attempt to edit or delete portions of the footage will be met with severe reprimands.”

“Yes, Jerry.” The three girls affirmed with varying levels of sullen acceptance.

“Furthermore, Agent Clover and Alexandra will **not** be allowed to associate with Saotome Ranma outside of public settings,” His eye twitched slightly. “ _Or_ anytime where they would be together **and** alone with him…”

Clover gritted her teeth, before saying, “Yeah, got it Jerry.” While Alex nodded somberly.

“Also, after I get descriptions of the Wrecking Crew from him and a demonstration of his abilities, Agent Samantha will begin training under Saotome Ranma as soon as possible to test the veracity of his claims regarding ki usage and how it can be learned.”

Heads snapped up and the girls gaped in shock at their boss as Samantha blurted out, “What!?  Training?!   _Me?!?_ ”

Jerry nodded. “You have shown a significant amount of restraint regarding Saotome Ranma’s apparent charisma, as well as keeping your mind on the mission at hand, even if it turned out to be a misinformed one.  While there is no doubt that he is a good man who wants to do the right thing, I would rather not throw my agents at him en masse and expect him to perform miracles.  After we have gotten an accurate summation of his abilities and decide if they are worth the effort, you will be the ‘trial run’ to see if his skills can be taught to others, and his skills as a teacher.”

“You want me to be the guinea pig,” Sam offered slowly, “To see if he can really teach someone to have superpowers?”

Sensing her hesitancy, Jerry cocked an eyebrow and asked curiously, “Is there a problem with that?”

“Besides the fact that Ranma _undersold_ the training he went through by saying he played dodgeball with beehives?” Samantha offered with a hint of dread. “Yes.”

Jerry’s eyes narrowed as Clover and Alex stiffened, the two of them sharing a worried look behind their leaders back as the spymaster said, “Duly noted.  However, considering that Saotome-san was training Britney before he left Nerima, I highly doubt she would have agreed to something as _strenuous_ as that.”

“That’s…a good point.” Sam admitted, thinking that Ranma wouldn’t have tortured a girl who saved his life.  At the same time, a giddiness swelled in her chest, thinking about doing some of the things Ranma had mentioned and even demonstrated (albeit accidentally) to her and her friends.

Noting the small half-smile on the redhead’s face, Jerry offered, “At any rate, once we have gotten our demonstration of Saotome-san’s considerable abilities, we will ask for details on his training methods before subjecting you to them, just to be safe.” Before looking over his shoulder at his ‘assistant’. “Gladis, please inform Saotome-san that we will see him now.”

The computer replied, “Yes, Jerry.” and the three spies headed back to the landing couch, completely silent as they waited for Ranma to arrive.  While they did that however, Jerry made a mental note to send a few choice messages through WOOHP’s secure channels, to make sure that the girls were well aware of the thin ice they’d willfully tap-danced on.

(After all,) the spymaster thought with a thin smile. (They only _work_ for me.  And this kind of responsibility should be left up to someone with a more… _vested_ interest in the girls behavior.)

00000

Arnold smiled as he watched an animated pinkette in a toga knock what looked like a giant Siberian tiger sprawling at a swift kick to the head, while he grabbing popcorn out of a nearby bowl one kernel at a time. “She’s _awesome_.”

“Damn straight,” Donna grinned as she took a chomp out of the wad of popcorn in her hand, taken from the same bowl that was sitting between them on the couch.

At Donna’s insistence, the two of them had gone to Arnold's home for their ‘date’, which would consisted of watching various anime which Donna hadn’t seen before.  While Arnold had been hesitant about exposing his tastes in entertainment to a stranger of the female variety, now he was unabashedly offering his opinion on his favorite series and characters with aplomb. “She’d kinda like Ella Ragu, but with a bit of Rei thrown in.”

“Eh, I don't know about that.” Donna waggled her wrist. “Ella could do all kinds a magic with her Shadow Skill, Morgiana’s just got raw power.”

Arnold tried to police his smile, though all that did was make it clear he was hiding something and Donna glared at the blonde boy whose lips were pursed together very tightly. “Geek, are you tryin’ to tell me somethin’?”

Arnold shook his head as he took a small sip of his soda, and giving off an almost tangible aura of, ‘I know something you don’t know’, which made Donna’s eye twitch in irritation. “What’d I say about spoilers, geek?”

At that, Arnold looked offended and said, “What?!  I didn't say anything!”

“You have the worst poker face I’ve ever seen in my life, Arnold.” Donna said derisively before picking a small kernel of popcorn out of her teeth.  She noted that the boy looked a little pouty, and an idea occurred to her that made a wide smile spread across her face as she dislodged the kernel and said, “Hey, since you like anime, does that mean you look at _hentai_ too?”

Arnold immediately flushed bright red and said, “No!  No, of course not!”

Donna’s grin turned sharklike as she turned her attention onto the cherry-cheeked boy and chuckled. “Oh ho ho, looks like someone's in denial.  What's your poison, geek?   _Paizuri?_   _Bukkake?_ ”

Arnold couldn't help himself but blanch at that last one before recovering quickly and shaking his head again. “N-neither of those!”

“But you know what they mean.”

“No, I don't!”

“Then why’d you look grossed out for a second?” Donna smirked at him. “Cause I was kinda glad about that, you know?”

Arnold blinked quizzically. “You…you were?”

“Sure.  ‘Cause watching a bunch of guys nut all over a girl’s face is a major turn-off for me, but then again, that's probably because I’d be on the receiving end.” The biker girl laughed as Arnold's blush went all the way up to his ears. “Oh wow, you look like a freaking tomato, geek!  Is it hot in here or somethin’?”

“Sh-shut up!” Arnold shot back. “You keep teasing me about this stuff!”

“I ain't teasing, I'm curious.” Donna denied him with a shrug. “Cause you gotta realize girls talk about this kinda thing too, same as guys do.” Her eyes lowered as her lips curved in a sneaky fashion. “Unless there's a _reason_ you don't wanna tell me what you're into…”

Arnold swore his head was probably 10 degrees hotter than the rest of his body at the moment, and in desperation, he went with the best option he could think of as a distraction. “That's **personal** !  How would you like it if I asked if your hair really is _pink!?_ ”

Donna’s smile disappeared at that and she narrowed her eyes at Arnold, who paled and gave a quiet ‘eep!’ Before leaning away from the larger girl.  After a few moments of silent, subtly threatening atmosphere, Donna asked, “You wanna find out?”

Arnold’s brain crash-halted.  During the reboot sequence, his body was frozen and his mouth only had enough control to say, “What?”

Donna’s smile returned, but this time it was more sensual than before as she took the bowl of popcorn off of the couch and set it on the ground, and then immediately turned so she was leaning back against the armrest.  After lifting one of her legs and swinging it over so her ankle was resting on the back of the couch, she smirked at the gobsmacked nerd and unsnapped the leather flap over her throat. “You know, geek, I realized somethin’ about you.  Ella, Morg, and Kei; it makes me think you got a thing for tough chicks.  And I’m wonderin’ if you’re enjoyin’ my company a _lot_ more than I think you are.”

“I…I, uh, that is…”

“And that ain't really fair is it?” The biker girl grabbed the zipper to her biker-suit and slowly pulled it down, any questions she had for why she was acting like some kind of slut falling back in favor of how _powerful_ she felt, watching Arnold's eyes widen _very_ slowly in response to her gradually exposing her collarbone and sternum before stopping at her belly button and leaving her cleavage completely exposed do her companion. “Cause if you’re gonna be having pervy fantasies about me, then you should repay the favor.”

“…….what?”

Donna’s smile widened as she grabbed the separated portions of her zipper and slowly pulled them apart, completely exposing her chest to the nerd she’d been bonding with and letting him get a good look at her tits.  A thrill ran down the biker girls back, making her sigh happily while she watched Arnold stare at her like he’d discovered Mecca. “Your turn, geek.  Show me what you’re workin’ with.”

Arnold’s attention was yanked away from the C-cup breasts that were less than a few feet from him, to the owner of said breasts who was watching him ogle her like she was a model in a dirty magazine.  Suddenly worries and paranoia came to him and he asked, “What?” In the same squeaky voice that another person would use when saying ‘please don't kill me’.

“It ain't obvious?  I’m showin’ you mine.  Now you show me yours.” Donna meaningfully tugged on her zipper. “And then I’ll show you a little more…”

Arnold blushed again, but nodded and gave a soft “Oh…” in understanding, before reaching for the hem of his shirt with shaky hands and pulling it over his head.  While technically the same as what Donna was doing, it felt a hell of a lot different to Arnold as it seemed like his chest was blushing as much as his cheeks.  Though he couldn't help but feel a little pleased as Donna’s lips quirked up in a definite smile when she saw his bare upper body.

(Not bad.  Skinny, but not bad.) Donna thought to herself while she almost absentmindedly pulled down her zipper, moving it below her belly button while watching as Arnold's eyes followed it as the separated teeth exposed more and more of her skin to his eyes.  The biker almost laughed out loud when the blonde boy’s eyes nearly popped out of his head when the first sparse hairs of her bush came into view and discovered that Donna was indeed naturally a pinkish-burgundy-ette.  The zipper stopped before he saw anything more than that, but it was more than enough as Donna laid back and smirked as she said, “Your turn again, geek.”

Arnold’s blush deepened, and as he reached for his belt buckle and pants with trembling fingers, Donna mused to herself, (It’ll probably be good for the geek, having something in his spank bank that ain’t animated.  I mean, it ain’t like I’m gonna throw myself at him or anything, and a little rub-and-tug will probably do wonders for his…)

Donna blinked as Arnold’s pants came undone, exposing his briefs and the obvious bulge within them. (Did…he stuff his tighty-whities with a couple of socks?  When did he have the time to do that?)

Then Arnold closed his eyes, held his breath and after taking a moment to steady his nerves, he hooked his thumbs into the lining of his underwear and swiftly pushed them down.  In that instant, Donna’s jaw dropped and somewhere in the distance, an elephant sounding it’s trumpet could be heard as Arnolds hard-on sprang into view.  It took a little while for Donna to realign her mental processes, and when they came back online, the first thing she wondered was if Arnold’s pet python had all it’s shots.  Then she noticed that he was looking at her with a confused and mildly worried expression, and realized there was drool running down her chin.

The biker quickly wiped away the evidence of her salivation and sat up, bringing herself to a better view of Arnold’s package as she said, “Holy **FUCK** , geek!  Do you have a Tardis in your pants or something?!  Where were you hiding that!?”

Arnold chuckled nervously, while also feeling a little proud of her reaction to his manhood, though he’d always been too embarrassed about showing it to anyone. “Ah, I wasn’t really hiding it…I just never mentioned it?”

“T…talk about the elephant in the room…” Donna murmured as she wiped away another bit of drool, unable to believe that the skinny little nerd was packing a monster that wouldn’t have looked out of place in a sex shop.  Or rather, a _novelty_ joke shop, because something like what she was seeing couldn’t possibly be real.  As the biker stared at the 9th(inch by 3 inch) wonder of the world, her previous plans for the evening were lit on fire and thrown out the nearest window in favor of getting up close and personal with Arnold’s third leg.  As she considered several methods to seducing the nervous boy, most of which involved a few variations of screaming ‘IN ME!  NOW!’ as loud as possible, a thought struck Donna regarding the information she’d gotten regarding her ‘heritage’, and an idea formed.

Arnold swallowed loudly when Donna’s expression went from shocked admiration, to narrow-eye’d concentration, and then finally settled on a grin that was downright **vicious** as the thug-ish girl swung her leg down off the back of the couch and chuckled, “You know, it’s kinda funny what Ranma said today.”

“Uh, Ranma?” Arnold blinked at the unexpected mention of their new mutual friend. “Which part?  He said a lot today.”

“About Granny Lo and me.” Donna replied as she bent forward and got on hands and knees, before slowly crawling closer to him, never taking her eye off the obelisk jutting out from his groin. “You know, how we’re apparently _Amazons_?”

Before Arnold could ask anymore, Donna reached out and grabbed his dick, making him tense up at the unexpected touch while she squeezed him and _almost_ managed to make her fingers reach all the way around his shaft.  But all his attention was focused on the biker girls toothy grin as she said in a darkly amused tone, “Because I **really** feel an like an Amazon right now.”

“And,” Arnold’s eyes darted from her hand back to her face. “What’s that mean?”

Donna squeezed his shaft, her eyes gleaming lustfully as she growled, **“Me.  Want.** **_Snu-snu._ ** **”**

“….meep.”

00000

The girls had been strangely silent when Ranma came back to W.H.O.O.P.’s debriefing room, and after agreeing to a demonstration for tomorrow after school, as well a taking on Samantha as a student, Jerry had deposited the quartet a few blocks away from Ranma’s house.  The pigtailed boy had been a little irritated by that, mostly because WOOHP’s primary travel method would make it harder on him to fend off or spot the ambush-and-disguise obsessed Tsubasa Kurenai on the off-chance he showed up.  Otherwise, they made their way to his home and Ranma shot furtive looks at the girl's, with Clover and Alex looking decidedly sullen and depressed, while Samantha had a more confident demeanor that was heartening for a future student of the Art.

Except he knew real pride, and the redhead’s stiff, too-tense posture said she was hiding something under the facade of an ego boost that would hinder her in the long run if he didn’t take care of it now.  With a sigh, Ranma stopped and said, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Huh?” Sam and the other girls came to a halt as well, looking quizzically at Ranma as she asked, “Wrong with who?”

“You,” Ranma gestured to the redhead. “I know you’re happy about learning the art and how to use ki and stuff, but you’re also worked up about somethin’ and it’s gonna make it harder for you to focus if you don’t clear your head.” He rolled his wrist in a ‘come on’ gesture. “So, what’s eatin’ ya?”

Samantha grimaced as she considered the truth of her trepidation, before looking at the expectant boy.  A swift kick in her conscience made the redhead sigh and lower her eyes before softly replying, “I’m sorry.”

Ranma blinked and cocked his head. “Sorry about what?”

“I told Clover to break up with you.” Samantha explained in a low voice. “I was so convinced you were a bad guy that I didn’t listen to my friends, and when I found out Britney blocked any chance for someone to research details about you online, I thought you’d brainwashed her into covering for you.  I thought you were doing that to Clover, and told her to break up with you before it was too late.”

Clover looked between her sorrowful friend and her frowning lover, noting that while Ranma wasn't happy, he also didn't look _angry_ by what Sam was saying.  If the blonde didn't know any better, she’d almost say Ranma looked disappointed as he said, “So you’re apologizin’ because you were worried about your friend?”

“No!” Sam’s head snapped up and she glared at him. “I'm not sorry for _that_ !  I’m trying to say I made a mistake, and I should have given you _some_ kind of chance instead of assuming the worst about you!”

“Forget it,” Ranma waved off Sam, brushing aside the negative thoughts of everyone who’d wronged him back home and _hadn’t_ apologized like she did. “If I was in your place, I’d have done the same thing, so don't beat yourself up ‘cause of that.” He gave the redhead an embarrassed look as he scratched the back of his head. “I…was keepin’ my mouth shut about a lot of stuff that was really suspicious, and even then, I’m not really good at explainin’ things without making stuff worse.  I’m not gonna blame you for being worried about Clover, ‘cause that puts you ahead of a lot of other girls I know.”

“If it wasn’t for the fact that, ‘other girls you know’ involves a greedy cunt, a psychotic gymnast, an amazon and a fiancé who hit you, that could _almost_ be a compliment.” Sam offered dryly, which earned her an annoyed look from Ranma.  Before he could respond to that, she added, “And my other problem is that your training was _worse_ than dodging beehives.  And since I’m going to be your student…”

“Hey, I’d never put anyone through that training!” Ranma snapped defensively and with a fair bit of outraged heat. “Especially because it turned out to be useless!”

All three of the girls gaped at Ranma following that statement. “U-useless?” Clover whispered in shock. “How was it _useless_?”

Ranma met the blonde's eye and sighed softly, considering the things that had been said today and the reactions he’d gotten.  Feeling decidedly uncomfortable at the thought of being pitied, he lamely offered, “It’s a long story, and I’d rather not tell it right now, Clover-chan.  For now, just chuck it into the pile of reasons I had to get away from my old man.”

Clover sniffled as she looked the boy she’d dated, slept with, trusted and mistakenly believed been betrayed by.  Hearing him speak in such a despondent tone brought an urge to the blonde that was relatively new to her, as she wanted nothing more in that moment than to sleep with him.  Not to have sex with him, but just give him some comfort and let him know that he’d never have to go back to his personal hell.

That urge swiftly disappeared when Ranma met her eyes and sadly said, “Also…I wanted to say, I’m sorry for kissing you, Clover-chan.”

The blonde’s jaw dropped and she blurted, “What!?  Sorry for-?!  I thought you were—" she grimaced as tears welled up in her eyes and she moaned, “I thought you said that just because you were _mad…_ I-I didn’t think you really _meant_ it!”

Seeing that his ex looked like she was about to start sobbing, and Sam and Alex were both somehow putting out a pair of VERY substantial battle auras despite their lack of training, Ranma paled and waved his hands frantically. “No no!  That thing I said about it being a mistake was ‘cause I was angry, and I am sorry about that!  I meant that I didn’t kiss you for the right reason!”

The low bubbling tide of outrage was abating, while Alex’s eyes remained focused on the pigtailed boy and she asked, “And what was **your** reason?” with a definite note of warning in her voice.

Seeing that the aura’s had died down and Clover had pulled back from the verge of tears, Ranma licked his dry lips and explained in a worried, apologetic tone. “On our date, when you said we could just kiss, I was afraid cause of all the crap that could happen to you and me if we did.  And I thought about what people would say about me betrayin’ the fiancé’s and my honor and everything.  Most of it held me back,” Ranma’s expression darkened, and his apologetic tone thickened with disgust. “Then I thought of my old man…and as soon as I heard him sayin’ I _‘shamed the anything goes school’_ —"

“That was when you kissed me.” Clover finished in understanding, her words solemn as she remembered the very brief, ugly look that crossed Ranma’s face a second before he’d stuck his tongue down her throat. “Not because you liked me, but as a ‘screw you’ to your dad.”

Hearing her affirm his motivation in that soft voice shamed Ranma, and he lowered his eyes as he gave a small nod. “ _Hai_ .  I _do_ like you, and I had a lot of fun, and I didn’t go along with everything else because I was pissed off at pops…but that’s how it started, and that wasn’t fair to you.”

There was silence for several moments, before Clover stepped forward and said, “Ranma, look at me.” and he winced, remembering the last few times that happened had resulted in two slaps and a break-up.  Raising his eyes, he looked up to see Clover looking at him affectionately, with a gentle smile on her face that confused him for a moment.  Then she brought her hand up and gently touched his cheek as she whispered, “Ranma, can you tell me honestly, that if you weren’t pissed off at your dad, then you wouldn’t have kissed me at all?”

“No, Clover.” Ranma shook his head immediately without breaking their gaze. “It…would have been later, and it probably wouldn't have been as hard—" he blushed as her eyes twinkled at his accidental double-entendre, while Alex and Samantha’s cheeks similarly reddened behind their teammate. "—been as _strong_ , but yeah, I would have kissed you.”

Clover’s smile widened and she said, “Then that’s good enough for me.” Before stepping in and pressing her lips to his.

Sam narrowed her eyes, but considered how needy and lonely her friend was going to feel now that her boytoy was off-limits and decided to allow this one slip-up regarding the blondes new restriction on fraternization.  Provided Clover didn’t cross a line and try to get in a final quickie with Ranma right here and now.

As the two broke their kiss and smiled at each other, Samantha felt a small pang in her chest and a subtle bubble of irritation.  Being decidedly self-aware however, she quickly determined the source as a bit of jealousy stemming from the fact that she now knew Ranma was not the evil villain Britney had made him out to be, and was in fact pretty damn brave and selfless.

Ranma brushed a few strands of hair away from Clover’s face, smiling at the sincere happiness in her eyes as he asked, “So, you forgive me?”

“What, for being introduced to your _epic_ tongue just because your dad was an asshole?” Clover giggled in wicked amusement. “I could almost write him a thank you letter, if it wasn't for the fact that he’d bring those psychos down on us and I’d probably shoot him as soon as I saw him.” Leaning in again, this time to lay her head against his chest, Clover smiled warmly and murmured, “When our new ‘curfew’ is up, do you wanna try this again?”

“I’d like that.” Ranma replied with a smile as he gave the blonde a gentle squeeze before they parted and the quartet continued their trek.

-0-

Following their departure from Ranma’s house, the blonde spy was in a very chipper mood and sang to herself, “All's well that ends well!”

“Says you.” Sam muttered sullenly. “That was the worst mission ever, bar none.”

“I don't know,” Alex said, also smiling but not as widely as Clover. “I think we did really well, considering how much we didn't know.”

“And what are you complaining about?” Clover eye’d Samantha meaningfully. “You’re gonna become a Super-Sammy, _and_ be around Ranma without a chaperone.  I'm totally jealous!”

“Jealous because I’m going to be put through a meat grinder; or because I don't need a chaperone around Ranma?”

The redhead’s dry sarcasm earned a glare from Clover.  But as she thought about it, the blonde considered Sam’s sullen admittance to Ranma’s moral character and the hints of suppressed attraction she’d seen in her friend towards the martial artist.  She then turned her head away from her friends, hiding her wide smile as she considered the the possibilities of her bestie being in close proximity to 100% Grade-A stud, and how much fun it would be if-no no, _when_ Sam discovered why Ranma Saotome had been irresistible to Clover and Alex.

Eventually, the trio reached Clover’s house and she split off from her besties.  However, as she neared the entryway, a prickling feeling of dread came over her, and she paused to look around worriedly.  Not seeing anything amiss, she continued her approach towards the front door, though the blond spy couldn't help but feel more and more frightened as she got closer to home.

When Clover reached for the doorknob, and it turned before she could touch it, her heart leapt into her throat.

As the door opened with an ominous creak, she wondered why her life was flashing before her eyes.

Then she saw the agent of her doom, standing just on the other side of the door with a baleful gaze that promised nothing but pain in the girl’s immediate future.

“So,” Stella Manson intoned, eyes flashing dangerously as she stared at her suddenly pale daughter. “Who’s this boy you **kissed**?”

00000

While it was obvious to anyone within 5 blocks of the Manson home that any chance Clover had of getting make-up nookie had been well and truly destroyed, what many people forget that life exists as a sort of balance.  For every closed door, a window opens, every hardship is an opportunity, etc.

Or to put it in a way that isn't trite and hackneyed, when someone loses a chance to get laid, somewhere else, another person will find themselves receiving the fucking of a lifetime.

“HOLY **FUCK!** ” Donna howled to the heavens, or rather, Arnold's bedroom ceiling as she threw her head back and quaked under the effects of the monstrous orgasm rippling through her body.

Underneath her, Arnold was also quaking as the larger girls tremors transferred through his shaft and his lower body, making it feel like his dick was completely imbedded in a slightly vibrating vice while he was pinned underneath the supposedly ‘Chinese Amazon’.  The spasming of Donna’s folds gave Arnold a newfound understanding of why women used vibrator’s when masturbating, and he felt his groin tense in preparation to send his navy into the tough girl’s most deceptively tender area.

His teeth gritted, his fingers almost death-gripping the pinkettes large chest, Arnold called out breathlessly, “D-Donna!   _Donna!!_ ” In an attempted warning, which was cut-off as his inexperienced dick and willpower snapped in twain and the surge flowed through him.  The blonde boy moaned in a way that sounded _very_ unmanly to his own ears, but at the moment any concern for his perceived masculinity was far from his mind as he experienced the bliss of an ‘assisted orgasm’.  It felt a little strange to him as his dick erupted inside the quivering Donna’s womanhood, but the pleasure and his bolstered ego far outweighed unusual sensation of having something _firm_ pressing against the tip of his cock, as his lover had quickly informed him that Arnold’s length was pushing against her inner door with a not insignificant amount of force.

It’d been uncomfortable for him, and very worrying as he’d read many a hentai magazine that seemed obsessed with the idea of dicks being long enough to press against a woman’s cervix, many of which also couldn’t say 5 words without mentioning ‘baby’, ‘pregnant’, ‘fertilization’ and a whole host of other unsexy and **very** fear-inducing phrases to the teen nerd.  Thankfully, Donna had read some of those same magazines and quickly reassured him that she was on the pill, but that had immediately been followed by her warning him, _‘If you even_ think _about imitating those porn mags and try using this baseball bat you call a dick as a battering ram, I’ll rip it off and make you_ watch _while I use it the_ **_right_ ** _way!’_.

And so Arnold had discovered that the hentai was wrong, in that being the sexual equivalent of a pap smear had its downsides unless you found a girl who could _take_ a plus-size cock.  Which had about the same odds as finding a guy with said overly-large manhood.  But while that tidbit had been wrong, the reality of firing his seed directly into his lover’s womb carried a **very** deep feeling of primal satisfaction to the blonde teen and for a moment, he felt like a caveman celebrating a successful hunt as jets of cum flooded his woman’s silken depths.

Donna came down from her high very slowly, her arms shaking where they were bracing her body on Arnold’s thighs, as she’d nearly passed out when the latest of a series of cervical orgasms had struck with the force of a thunderclap.  Her body was covered with sweat, her muscles burning from exertion and release, when she realized that there was a greater degree of heat emanating from her groin than there had been before her mind temporarily went on vacation and left a ‘fuck-awesome orgasm’ in its place.

The thuggish girl slowly raised herself up, wincing as a few aftershocks rolled through her body until she was looking down at the rosy-cheeks of the boy she’d basically dragged to bed with her.  Cocking an eyebrow quizzically, Donna asked between loud gulps of air, “Hey, geek…did you cum?”

Arnold, similarly breathless, nodded in affirmation.

Donna’s raised her eyebrows, and looked down towards her mons as she came to grips with the fact that her pussy was slightly warmer due to a fresh load of baby-batter.  Blinking several times, the thug murmured, “Huh…so that’s what that feels like…” Her lips curved in a half-smile. “Gotta say, not what I was expecting…but not bad.”

“Glad…you liked it…”

Donna chuckled at Arnold's gasping reply. “Hey, don't pass out on me yet, geek!” before shifting from side-to-side, _very_ slowly and with slight whimper of pleasure that she would deny to her dying day. “I haven’t had a prick this big inside me that wasn’t attached to an even bigger one!  And I’m gonna—"

The sudden sound of an effeminate voice calling, “Arnold, is everything okay?” Froze Donna in mid-moan and she and Arnold went wide-eyed with fear when the door to his room opened and whoever had spoken added, “Are you watching a scary movie—"

Arnold’s mother trailed off, the remainder of her concerns coming out in a strangled squeak when she caught sight of a very muscular back.  Said back was connected to two well-defined arms and a fairly large backside, topped by a head with short cut, purple-ish/pink/red hair and ending in two powerful, yet smooth legs.  Underneath said ass was her son’s scrotum, with his legs sticking out behind whoever was sitting on him, while the particular placement of his bed relative to the door meant she had a very clear look at his wide-eye’d, horrified expression as he looked at her and fearfully whispered, “M-mom!?”

Taking in the shock of what she was seeing, and more importantly blocking out in regards to her sons anatomy, the 40-something blonde woman took a moment to compose herself, during which she silently intoned, (Okay, focus, you’ve been bracing yourself for this.  Always hanging out with boys, never dating girls; he’s still your son and you’ll love him no matter what even if you won’t have grandchildren unless he and his life-partner decide to adopt.)

While his mother went through a quick soothing mantra, Arnold frantically hissed, “Donna, what do we do!?”

“How should I know!?” The biker girl quietly snarled back. “I’ve never been caught like this before!”

“Sh-should I pull out?!” Arnold, panicking and frantic, quickly grabbed Donna’s hips and made to lift her off of him.

“Are you insane!?” Donna gasped as she started to lift off his prick, “Do you want your mom to see your elephant trunk, geek?!”

Arnold froze, casting a quick glance towards his mother and let out a whimper of relief upon seeing that her eyes were still closed and she had the strangely…thoughtful and pensive expression on her face.

Noting that her lover’s grip had loosened, Donna growled, “Exactly!  So don’t make—"

As she spoke, Donna sat back down again, and with rather more force than intended as the small amount of Arnold’s dick that had pulled clear of her nethers was forced back inside.  However, the jarring motion ended up causing the same issue she’d warned him about earlier as her inner gate was given a very hard poke and Donna’s eyes crossed as she gave an involuntary shriek that was equal parts pain and pleasure.

Mary’s eyes snapped open.

That wasn’t her son.  And that wasn’t her husband.  That was a girl’s voice and it certainly didn’t come from her.  In fact, it sounded like the same scream she’d heard coming from her child's room when she’d thought he was watching a horror movie.  And since he wasn’t _actually_ watching a horror movie…

She looked again at the teenagers she walked in on, while the person who was sitting astride her son was trembling and he sat up, giving his lover a worried look as he called, “Donna!  Are you okay?!”

While Mary was 100% certain that she would continue to love her son even his preference was for the love that shall not speak its name, she couldn’t help but feel a part of her heart unknot in relief to hear the **girl** in her son’s bed, whose name was apparently Donna, moan quietly, “S-sat down too fast!  Just gimme a minute!”

Arnold swallowed loudly and hesitantly wrapped his arm around Donna’s back, holding her against his body even if the disparate size between them meant her breasts were resting on his collarbone.  While Mary registered the large chest being pressed against her son, Donna’s breathing slowly eased as the sensation rather akin to a **bad** stomach cramp slowly faded and she gave a grateful, “Thanks geek…”

Arnold pursed his lips and murmured quietly, “Could you not call me that right now?  Please?”

Donna smiled cheekily as the last of the spasms faded and murmured, “What?  You don't want me to embarrass you in front of your mom?  Funnily enough, I couldn't give a _fuck_ about that right now—"

“Mary?”

Donna’s voice silenced immediately at the sound of an older male voice, which _also_ came from somewhere behind her, and her eyes widened as Arnold cringed and said, “In front of my mom **or** my dad.”

However, in a blur of motion, Arnold's mother spun on her heel and slammed the door to her son's bedroom closed, leaving the teens in silence and darkness once more.  Arnold blinked owlishly at his closed door like he’d seen a mirage and Donna slowly turned to look over her shoulder as a pair of muffled voices started talking on the other side of it.  The two lovers shared worried looks when one of those voices rose significantly, though the tone and words of whoever was speaking was lost to them.

After a minute or two, his door opened again, though only a small crack this time as a male voice called, “Son?”

Arnold swallowed heavily and replied, “Y-yeah dad?”

“Your mother and I are going to go see a late movie, okay?”

Now the look Donna and Arnold gave each other was shocked as the blonde boy replied, “Y-yeah, okay!  Umm, when will you be back?”

“A few hours.  And we _will_ be having a talk with you, whether your friend is here or not.”

Arnold blushed brightly and nodded, not that his father could see it as he replied, “Yes sir.”

“Good.” The older man fell silent for a moment, before he added, “You **are** being safe?”

“Oh my _God_ !” Arnold moaned in embarrassment while Donna couldn't help but burst out laughing. “Yes, dad!   **Very** safe!”

“Good.  We’ll talk later.”

And with that, the door shut, and the two teens didn't move until they heard a car in the driveway turn over and eventually fade into the distance.

“Holy _shit_.” Arnold breathed, shocked that he hadn't been crucified by his supposedly uptight parental units. “I can't believe they didn't flip out…”

“That’ll probably come later.” Donna offered as she cast an appraising eye towards the door.  She then turned to Arnold and gave him a wicked grin. “And speaking of ‘coming’…”

Arnold did a double-take and gaped at the pinkette. “What?!  Now!?  What about—"

“They gave us at _least_ an hour, geek.” Donna purred, though from a girl her size, it came out like sounding like a pleased lioness more than anything else. “And I wanna see how far you can go.”

As the biker girl started to move, a thought occurred to Arnold and he frowned before reaching out and holding Donna’s waist, stilling her motions as he said, “Not yet.”

“Huh?” Donna blinked quizzically. “What's wrong?”

“Say my name.”

“…what?”

“I'm not going again until you say my name.” Arnold affirmed with a stern look. “Cause calling me geek all the time is getting annoying.”

Donna glowered at him for a moment, but found that, like Alex; there was a spine inside the deceptively passive teen and she rolled her eyes before quietly saying, “Okay, I’m sorry, _Arnold_.”

Arnold sighed in relief and satisfaction before giving Donna a thin smile as he said, “Now, let's hear it again…”

At that, the Amazon growled, “You’re pushing your luck, _gee_ —" but was cut off by a shocked yelp as Arnold pitched forward, using his body weight to throw the larger girl onto her back and himself on top of her.  His shifting prick made Donna’s eyes roll back in her head as she groaned, “ _Fuck_ me, be careful with that thing!”

“Heh, sorry.” Arnold replied with an abashed smile, though that morphed into a cocky grin as he sat up and looked down at the girl he was buried inside of. “Now, are you going to say my name?”

Donna glared at him for a second, wondering what he was doing, when the light bulb suddenly clicked and her jaw dropped.  But it snapped closed quickly, and she gave the boy a toothy grin as she growled, “You’re gonna have to _make_ me say it, **geek**.”

Arnold returned her smile and replied, “If you **insist**!” And punctuated his statement by quickly thrusting his hips, withdrawing from Donna’s sheathe for a moment before plunging back in again.

When Arnold’s parents came home to a silent house, Mary pursed her lips and headed to her son’s room.  Rather than barging in this time, she peeked through the door cautiously.  The sight of her child, asleep with a wide smile and his arm wrapped around the waist of the significantly taller and more athletic looking girl who was curled up against him with her head on his chest brought a smile to the blonde woman’s face, and she closed the door silently.

“Well?” Arnold’s father asked pointedly, being a burly man with light brown hair and a gruff demeanor. “Are we going to talk to him or not?”

“Not tonight, dear.” Mary replied with a small smile. “Cause we don’t want to wake _them._ ” she side-eye’d her husband so he took the hint, before smirking. “He takes a _lot_ after you, by the way.

-Omake-

Sam wondered why Jerry had sent a WOOHP Transport for her, by way of being vacuumed into a nearby trash can on her way to school, without any warning and what could have been so important that it couldn’t waited until after class.

Then she fell out of the pipe and onto the couch, landing on her side in a rather uncomfortable condition, and she muttered, “Dammit, Jerry.  Could you at least try to make our landing pad a little more cushy.”

“Tell ya what, I’ll think about it.” offered a familiar voice which sent a shot of adrenaline through Sam and made her head snap up and gape at the scene before her.

Instead of the familiar sight of WOOHP’s debriefing room, what Sam saw had her mind spinning in a maddening, and increasingly fearful manner.  Jerry and his desk were gone, as well as the central ‘hub’ of G.L.A.D.I.S., which left only an empty hole in the ceiling over Jerry’s chair.  Said chair was now occupied by Ranma Saotome, who was smiling in a decidedly _unfriendly_ manner at Samantha with his hands laced behind his head.

While worrying and shocking by itself, the truly mind-boggling sight that had stunned the redhead into silence was that Ranma was not alone, as Clover and Alex had apparently arrived before her.

Along with Britney.

And ‘Ranko’.

And Mandy, Caitlyn, and Dominique.

And an assortment of Japanese girls on either side of him, and one purple-haired girl with chinese features who must have been the ‘Shampoo’ girl he’d mentioned yesterday, if only because she could tell her lilac tresses were natural due to the similarly colored bush in her field of view.

Which brought up the second-to-last point of why Sam needed a moment to reboot her brain, in that every single person in the room was naked, except for her.  And the reason why that was the second-to-last point, is because the source of her greatest mental explosion was seeing her 3 high-school nemesis’ on their knees between Ranma’s spread legs, watching the back of Mandy’s head bob in the pigtailed boy’s lap while Caitlyn and Dominique ‘assisted’ their leader in some manner that Sam couldn’t make out from her current position.

Unfortunately, Samantha never got a chance to recover from her moment of stupefied disbelief.

A tap on her shoulder made her turn and stick her face directly into the nozzle of some kind of spray bottle.  She grimaced when something spritzed out that faintly smelled of roses, and moments later, Samantha Simpson no longer cared where Jerry was or why Ranma was at W.O.O.H.P. and surrounded by beautiful women.

All she cared about was the slightly muffled ‘mff!’ from Mandy, and the soft wave of envious sighs from every other girl present as she could somehow tell that her Master was gifting the dark-haired girl with his seed, and her own voice was added to the chorus as she envisioned drinking in his holy essence as well.

Ranma let out a relaxed breath at the same time as his spunk was guzzled by the 6th _gaijin_ slut to be added to his harem, while number 4 and 5 aided their ‘sister’ in pleasing him by suckling his balls.  Meanwhile, the black-haired girl with a ponytail off the side of her head, nominally his first convert who’d ironically paved the way to his path of revenge in her own attempt to dominate him, smiled as she put away her perfected serum, and the 7th American whore strolled towards him with a dim-witted smile, stripping off her clothes as she neared and prepared to take number 6’s place in pleasing her new Lord.

“Yes.” Ranma Saotome mused wickedly. “All according to _keikaku_.”

**-Author Notes-**

Well, **that** omake was dark as shit.  While obviously funny for being so ridiculous, do not expect me to write anything remotely similar to that with a straight face or at greater length, because it is not my cup of Spanish Fly.  Then again, I’m the kinda puss-bag who had to _force_ myself to finish the Caesar’s Legion questline in Fallout: New Vegas just so I could get the stupid achievements.

And immediately after that, murdered the fuck out of all the miserable bastards in subsequent playthroughs.

Anyway, there's (at least) one more Chapter to this story, _possibly_ more as I keep getting a nagging idea to throw in one last curveball.  Namely, I don't want this fic to end without SOME kind of closure back in Nerima.  One way or another.

Also, I’ve never been happier than for the bit of inspiration that said the skinny little geek should hook up with a total boss-ass bitch, a la Krillin and Android 18.


	5. How I Learned to Lose Control

This is the latest (But NOT the last) chapter of How I Learned to Love the Wild Horse, and it's the raw version that I've uploaded to other sites as well, rather than a finalized/semi-finalized version that I've been tweaking since getting my membership to Archive of our Own. I WILL finish cleaning up this chapter along with part 4 very soon. It's just that college is starting up again (today as a matter of fact) and I'm going to be understandably busy.

Just so I don't keep the AOOO people waiting, here you go!

* * *

How I Learned to Love the Wild Horse  
Chapter 5:  **How I Learned to Lose Control**

00000

Ranma was smiling as he approached Bev High, thinking about the day before and all the stress relief that had occurred.

He then mentally thunked his head, as the term 'stress relief' brought up a host of feelings and memories that would have brought some awkward looks from the other students, such as why the transfer student was holding his bag in front of his waist rather than on his back.

Threat of an inopportune hard-on suppressed, Ranma resumed thinking about his new future, which seemed so much more tangible than it had been when he'd arrived in California a few weeks ago. Britney hadn't made contact with her boss, but now WOOHP knew who he really was and they had no problems with him working for them. Provided he gave them a demonstration of his skills and taught one of his secret bodyguards how to use  _ki_.

Ranma's smile turned down for a moment. While he didn't have an issue with either of those demands, the heir to Anything Goes would rather have taught Clover or Alex how to protect themselves over the redhead who had done quite a bit to wreck his attempt at making a new life away from the anarchy of Nerima. Then again, from what he'd seen of Samantha, the girl was definitely a responsible person who could be trusted knowing how to control her ki and what she'd done had been to protect her friends, which the Ranma couldn't fault her for.

And when he thought about it, there were a few reasons that occurred to him why training Clover or Alex may have been a bad idea.

 _("Come on in," Clover purred, her skin glistening as the shower washed away the sweat and grime from a hard workout. Slowly, provocatively, she bent forward; letting the pink folds of her dripping sex enter his view. With a wink, the blonde placed on hand on the wall in front of her, while the other appeared between her legs, two fingers opening the entrance to her sex before his eyes as she giggled lightly. "'Cause like, I_ know  _you don't mind sharing!")_

_(Alex's eyes burned as she lunged at him, all subtext of training gone as she abandoned a simple jab in favor of tackling him to the ground. Moaning as she ground his thigh between her legs, the latina who was soaking the groin of her Gi met his eyes and whimpered, "I need a break! Just real quick and then we can spar some more!")_

Ranma shook his head and grumbled as he quickly slung his bookbag off his back, wondering if this was going to be a  _thing_  now that he knew what the big deal with sex was. And he wasn't going to be jumped the moment someone realized he was having lustful thoughts, before being attacked when they realized said thoughts were  _not_  about them.

As he continued onwards, making a point to focus on the other students and surroundings, trying to draw his thoughts back from erotic avenues, Ranma noticed something odd.

Nobody was looking at him.

Or at least not as much as he'd expected, considering the events of last week when his girlfriend had called him a cheater in front of everyone, and he'd callously stomped her heart into the ground. As Ranma casually slung his bookbag onto his back and away from his no longer tented pants, he wondered why it seemed like the American students didn't seem to care that a 'cheater' was among them.

Before the 'philandering lothario' of Furinkan High could parse out why Beverly Hills teenagers didn't seem to care about the romantic entanglements of a student who'd had a nasty break-up with a girl that had thrown some rather wild accusation in his face, a familiar voice called his name from behind him. Turning around, he spotted the strawberry-blonde hair of his future student approaching him and despite the rocky first impression they'd had, he smiled at the chance to cement his abilities in the minds of WOOHP by making Samantha into a Nerima-grade martial artist.

Hopefully without the added bonus of batshit lunacy of course.

Sam saw Ranma's grin and swallowed a tiny flutter in her stomach with ease before saying, "Hey, Ron!" As she reached him. "Looking forward to this afternoon?"

"Yep." Ranma declared confidently. "It's been awhile since I've had to use the Art, but I don't think I've gotten too rusty."

Sam cocked an eyebrow. "What about yesterday with the roof-hopping?"

Ranma scoffed dismissively. "That's like taking a walk. I'm talking about in a fight. I haven't had a spar or been challenged since I got here."

"Right…" Sam's brow furrowed as she considered that. "Speaking of, do you mind giving me a heads up on some of the things we can expect from your…" she surreptitiously looked over her shoulders before finishing quietly. "Fan club?"

The pigtailed boy frowned, but his voice wasn't harsh as he said, "I'd rather wait til later. I don't wanna say it more than twice, and it isn't gonna put me in a good mood for school, ya know?"

Sam winced. "Fair enough. But what about some other stuff? When you were telling Mandy about  _ki_ —" The redhead paused as Ranma's eyes narrowed, before he took a deep breath and seemed to calm down. Giving him a studious look, she stated plainly, "I thought you forgave her."

"I have…mostly." Ranma admitted. "It still bugs me, but it's more because I jumped right into her trick when I swore I wouldn't fall for crap like that again."

"Like with your sister-in-law."

"And Shampoo, Cologne, Ucchan, sometimes even Akane, not to mention any random weirdo who'd walk into town and decided to make my life hell because they had a beef with someone else and I got tricked into makin' it my business."

Sam frowned as Ranma's mood darkened. "Hey, if it's really that bad, maybe you should talk about it now."

"Nah, I can handle it," Ranma denied with a shake of his head.

(Sounds to me like you've been 'handling' it for  _way_  too long…) Sam mused worriedly. Before she could give the pigtailed boy another push, another familiar voice called out, "Hey, Sammy…" in a dull tone.

Sam couldn't stop from smirking ever-so-slightly as she turned around. "Hell~ _O_  Clover! How are yyoo _oouuUU_ OH my  **GOD** , what happened to you!?"

The redhead's smug amusement for her friends  _true_  comeuppance crash halted when she saw the completely wrong-footed and unusually frazzled blonde. Clover was standing rather unsteadily, her knees bent inward and shaking. But the most  _unusual_  aspect about the blonde that truly amped Sam's amused sympathy to low-yield horror was her fashionista compatriot's outfit.

Ranma looked at his sort of girlfriend worriedly, eyeing the sneakers, overly large green sweater and baggy jeans with a confused eye. "Clover-chan? Why are you wearing that?"

The blonde's eyes slowly turned to Ranma, and after a moment of looking like she was trying to collect herself, she moaned, "Mom picked it out…"

Sam made the sign of a cross and Ranma blinked in confusion. "You let your mom dress you?"

"Let?" Clover gave a stress-induced giggle. "I didn't  _let_  anything...she made me wear this…"

"...much as I hate bein' a broken record; why?"

"Jerry called our moms." Sam answered fearfully. "He told them what happened while we were watching you."

"I feel like a Nuremburg witness…" Clover whimpered. "Our house was The Hague and mom turned me inside  _out_  grilling me for every detail."

 _Now_  Ranma's heart dropped into his stomach. "Eh-every detail?!"

Clover nodded slowly. "I left out a little bit, but she was on me like Mandy on a  _Gucci_ …"

Sam swallowed heavily, then gave the whey-faced martial artist a shaky grin. "Well, I guess you'll be safe as long as she doesn't know what you look like."

"She knows…"

Sam's gaze snapped to her friend as Clover thumbed over her shoulder with a limp wrist. "She dropped me off."

Sam's eyes moved the indicated direction, and she froze at the sight of Stella Manson, sitting in a red car at the curb with the window rolled down. A pair of sunglasses were lowered, and she was shooting a 10/10 Mom-glare at the trio. Or more specifically, the only male in attendance. Samantha flinched, as being  _near_  the target of Stella's ire was enough to make her knees shake.

Finally, the older version of their blonde friend reached up, pointed to her eyes, then flicked her fingers at Ranma in a universal, ' _I'm watching you'_  gesture before pushing her sunglasses up and driving away. Once she was out of sight, Ranma whispered, "I...I'm lucky to be alive, aren't I?"

Clover nodded again.

After a moment of shuddering, working out the kinks from locking up due to what had to be a sight-based version of the  _Yamasenken_ , Ranma hissed fearfully, "Why would Jerry tell your moms what happened?!"

"They work for him too." Sam replied. "But not as long as us, so  _technically_  we have seniority. We still got in a lot of trouble when they found out we were spies."

"This was worse…" Cloved groaned helplessly. "So much  **worse**."

A thought struck Ranma and he breathed, " _Masaka_ , what about Alé-chan?! What's her mom going to do?!"

Sam opened her mouth. Then closed it with a blink as she looked off to Ranma's right. "Uhh...how about you ask her?"

Ranma and Clover both followed Sam's gaze. The blonde blinked, surprise bringing her out of her trauma-induced stupor as Ranma offered a confused, "The heck?"

The reason for their curiosity is that Alex looked fairly normal, at least in dress and overall appearance.

Except her head was down, shoulders pinched in and face lowered like she was trying to make herself as small as possible.

And the fact that even at a distance, her friends and lover's could see her cheeks glowing like a pair of space-heaters.

When she neared, Alex offered a very quiet, "Hey guys…" without looking up at the other three.

"Alex?" Sam asked hesitantly. "What happened? Did your mom grill you for information too?"

Despite the laws of biology, Alex somehow turned even  _redder_  and nodded.

Clover, feeling jealous of Alex for not being dressed like a frumpy housewife, but also sympathetic for her more easily embarrassed friend, quietly asked, "How...bad was it?"

Alex responded by covering her face with her hands and giving a tortured moan.

~last night~

Alex sat across the kitchen table from her mother. She begged, she pleaded, she'd all but sold her soul to every higher power she could think of; but it was all for naught as all the deities who would have responded to her prayers were busy at the moment.

Save for several Goddesses of motherhood, most of which were chewing handfuls of popcorn and cackling wickedly as they beheld the spectacle, with for occasional breaks to look over at the relatively nearby tirade against the traumatized latina's friend and grade it based on their own legends of matriarchal wrath.

" _Soo~~_ " Carmen Vasquez sing-songed, eyes sparkling as she rested her chin on her interlaced fingers, elbows propping her up on the table. "After you told him to stop holding back,  _then_  what happened?" Her grin widened. "Besides the  _obvious_ , anyway."

Alex whimpered in misery.

Hathor and Kichijōten winced sympathetically.

Leto and Hera laughed louder.

Freya nodded and Parvati gave an impressed whistle as they both held up scorecards with [10] written on them as Clover's mom took a deep breath and found her  **fourth**  wind.

-0-

"I had to tell her  _everything_ …" Alex moaned despairingly. "It was  **horrible**!"

Sam's lips were pursed together, trying to keep from laughing out loud but only making herself sound like a balloon with a slow leak.

Ranma had matched and eclipsed Alex's crimson-cheeked embarrassment and wondered how his life could get  _more_  fucked up, sans more literal instances of exactly that.

Clovers trauma was gone.

And replaced by sheer unbridled outrage as she glared at the humiliated Latina with one twitching eye. "I don't believe this." the blonde hissed through gritted teeth. " **I**  get treated like mom caught me selling Nuclear Secrets to North Korea, and  **you**  get a bit of  _ **girl talk!?**_ "

"It was so  _bad_ …" Alex shook her head as she buried her face even deeper into her hands.

"Alex, I am not exaggerating when I say that I would have willingly  **killed**  to get the  _punishment_  you did!" Clover not-quite-screeched. "I'd have turned down an all expenses paid trip to  _Milan_! I would have  **burned**  a Platinum Gift card for  _Sacs de Fantasie_! The only one who got off lighter than you is Sammy, and that's just because she didn't even  _ **do**_  anything!"

Sam's amusement, while greatly suppressed, also started to fade at that point as she recalled her own experience with her mom last night.

~last night~

"I mean, how could I be so  _stupid_!? All the signs were there! I  **saw**  how bad a liar he was with Alex, and I know Clover can be boy crazy; but her and Alex vouching for him should have made me  _think_  of asking Jerry to double-check Britney's info!"

Gabriella Simpson pursed her lips as her daughter wore a path in their living room carpet, stalking back and forth as she berated herself loudly. "To be fair, Sammy; you thought he was a  _terrorist_. I read the information too, and I think you made the right call."

"Yeah, the information was  _nasty_ ," Sam shot back with a frown. "And compared to the information we  **normally**  get on bad guys, Ranma sounded like the worst we'd ever seen!"

Gabriella cocked a eyebrow. "Really? Worse than-"

"Yes." Sam said immediately. "Almost  _every_  bad guy we put away was either deluded, out for revenge, being manipulated themselves, or had  **some**  kind of redeeming quality. Or at least some kind of half-assed humanitarian cover! But Ranma?" Sam snapped her fingers. "Totally evil without  _any_  good traits, and it was all absolute, 100% weapons-grade  _bullshit!_ "

"Language, Samantha." Gabriella chided her daughter gently. "But the point remains, what are you going to do now?"

"What else  _can_  I do?" Sam repeated despondently as she flopped down on the couch next to her mother. "I've got to spend who knows how long around a guy I've been badmouthing for the last couple of weeks, and forced my best friend to break up with, and hope he doesn't hold any of that against me while he's supposedly going to be turning me into some kind of superhuman."

Gabby frowned. "Did he seem like the type to hold a grudge to you?"

Sam snorted. "No. Which is one  **more**  reason why I've got no excuse for acting like a bitch."

" _Language_ , Sam!"

"Sorry mom." The redhead sighed. "I just...I wish I knew  _why_  I wanted him to be a bad guy so much…"

Gabriella took a sip of tea as she considered that and mulled over her next words carefully. "Jealousy, maybe?"

Sam blinked. "Jealous?"

"Of Clover." Gabby's lip twitched as she fought back a smile. "And Alex, apparently."

Had this been a few days ago, or even yesterday, Sam would have vehemently denied her mother's simple question.

Instead, she frowned as her brow furrowed thoughtfully, her eyes distant as she recalled the moments where she felt attracted to Ranma and quietly said, "Not really. I mean, there was a little bit of that, but it was more like…"

The light bulb clicked, and Sam pressed her head against the back of the couch and facepalmed. "I was protecting myself. I liked what I saw and heard him doing, and I didn't want to get hurt if it turned out he was bad." The redhead chuckled dryly. "Great. Now I'm gonna be trained by a guy I slandered and hurt,  _and_  I've got a crush on him. That's just wonderful."

Gabriella gave her daughter an interested look and a subtly amused grin. "He's that hot, huh?"

"You have  **no**  idea…" Sam groaned, her cheeks reddening as she remembered Ranma's dalliance with Alex while her mother chuckled.

00000

"I thought nothing could top Nerima." Ranma mused in quiet thoughtfulness. "I really did. But now…" The pigtailed boy's eyes narrowed in concentration. "Is there a word for when you're jealous of how naive and innocent you were a couple hours ago?"

"If there isn't, you can invent one." Donna snickered as she slurped her box of takeout.

"And after that, come up with one for dying of embarrassment…" Alex murmured as she picked at her pizza slice.

Lunchtime at Bev High, in the open air courtyard of same school; Ranma, his handlers, and the almost-Amazon were sitting in a small ring as they shared lunches, conversation, and each other's company.

Save for one, as Clover had relapsed into her trauma from the very personalized visit of a Rule-63'ed version of the God of the Old Testament, and was mechanically biting into a sandwich as she carefully blocked out the shame of wearing mom-chosen chastity preserving clothes in public. The blond couldn't help but give a minute twitch at her friend's statement however, and muttered, "Can't  _believe_  you got to have some girl talk…"

"Ease up, Clover." Sam chided the blonde with a touch of sympathy. "Don't blame Alex because of her mom."

"Speaking on that," Donna offered with a curious look at the blushing latina. "Why did your mom not blow her top when she found out you did the nasty with some guy?"

"She's been asking me about boys for a little while now." Alex offered quietly. "Telling me I should get a boyfriend, things like that."

"I remember." Sam nodded as her mind went back to their parents discovery of their 'after school' jobs. "She was ticked 'cause it looked like you weren't gonna find a boyfriend."

Donna frowned. "Think she was pressuring you 'cause she was worried you were gay?"

Alex shook her head. "No. It's more like…" the latina gave a half-hearted shrug. "She wants me to enjoy, 'the spring of my youth'."

Ranma and Donna nodded in understanding, Clover acted like she hadn't heard her friend's statement, and Sam blinked quizzically. "Huh? Spring of your youth?"

"It's kinda like, 'boys will be boys'." Ranma offered. "Though in this case, I guess it's 'girls will be girls'."

At that, Donna smiled wickedly and offered, "Speaking of ' _being girls'_ , have  _you_  ever enjoyed springing some guy's 'youth' like Alex did with you?"

"DONNA!" Alex yiped fearfully, flushing completely crimson while Sam choked on her water and Clover's eyebrow quirked up, showing that she was paying attention as well. "Don't say it like that!"

Sam recovered from her temporary fit with a few coughs to see Donna grinning cheekily at the flustered Alex, though her attention was caught by Ranma and his sickened expression and one twitching eye. "Guess that's a no." The redhead offered with a sympathetic grimace.

Ranma nodded.

"With a side of 'hell-fucking'?" Donna tossed out with a cheeky grin.

"It'd rather  _shoot_  myself." Ranma affirmed weakly. "Even without Kuno running me ragged all the time, the cracks I got from the ' _normal'_  guys at Furinkan were more than enough for me to say 'screw that'."

Sam, catching the familiar name, asked, "The captain of the Kendo club, right?"

Alex, eager to get the topic of conversation off of herself and recalling Ranma's 'encouragement' from their tryst in the locker room, quickly said, "Yeah, you said he'd attack anyone who talked to a girl that was his and scream sorcery when he got beaten. What's up with that?"

Memories of the dense-as-depleted-uranium swordsman washed away some of the horrific images that had been planted in Ranma's head, but what was left behind was still unpleasant as his lips curled in irritation. "My first day at Furinkan High School, the day after I got engaged to Akane, we walked to school together and he attacked me for being 'too familiar' with her. He's such an egomaniac, he thinks I kicked his ass 'cause I used magic to cheat."

"Maybe your curse had something to do with that." Sam offered with a thoughtful look.

The redhead then blinked quizzically as Ranma gave a frustrated groan and said, "He doesn't know."

"He doesn't know what?"

"Kuno doesn't know about my curse." Ranma muttered with obvious distaste. "He thinks my guy side and girl side are different people, and while he  _hates_  me, he  **loves**  the 'free-spirited pigtailed girl'."

Ranma, following the revelation of his lover's and their friend's status as protective agents, as well their reactions regarding his circumstances back home; thought it would be nice to get some sympathy or experience some feminine outrage that wasn't directed at him and completely justified.

When the quartet of girls stared at him for several moments in dead silence, he wondered if he'd made a mistake.

Then Clover gave an undignified snort, and Sam covered her mouth as her shoulders started shaking, and Ranma's 'wonder' became a sneaking suspicion.

As other Bev High students glanced over at the four madly laughing girls and one tomato-cheeked boy, Ranma realized he should have kept his mouth shut, and wondered with some annoyance if there was anyone  _else_  who was laughing at his life story right now.

-0-

Carmen chuckled as she finished a her cup of coffee. "Ah, don't you just  _love_  it when things work out beautifully?"

The plastic water bottle made a crumpling sound as Stella squeezed it in her hand and glared pointedly at her friend and teammate. " _Beautifully?_  You're daughter and mine were with a  **boy**  all night last Monday! Who they were supposed to be  _investigating_! If Jerry hadn't called us, who knows how many times they would have done... _ **things**_  with him!"

As the blonde woman's cheeks flushed and she squeezed her beverage even harder, Gabriella pursed her lips and offered, "To be fair, I do understand what Carmen means, since it turns out he wasn't nearly as bad as Britney said."

The three women were in a lounge area of WOOHP, discussing the information they'd been given or ruthlessly interrogated from their children as they waited for the 'demonstration' of WOOHP's latest asset. While Stella had already been angry from the information she'd dragged out of Clover, Carmen's gleefully detailed and  _lewd_  additions had sent her into the darkly scowling, zen-like calm of an overprotective mother who was internally wondering where she could buy a chastity belt  _and_  hide a body.

At Gabriella's addition though, Stella Manson turned to look incredulously at the redhead and spat, "Not that  **bad?!**  He had  _sex_  with my little girl!"

"And mine." Carmen offered cheerfully. "At the same time, apparently."

Stella's eye twitched violently, but before she could turn and lambast the smugly grinning latina, Gabriella sighed. "Stella, you realize Clover was gonna make the beast with two backs someday, right?"

"Yes, but not until she graduated from college and got a stable job!"

Gabriella and Carmen both gave the outraged blonde disbelieving looks, with the redhead asking, "Really? Just,  _really_  Stella? Were you expecting her first kiss to be on her wedding day, too?"

The blonde woman blushed and scowled, and Carmen promptly face-palmed. " _Dios mio_ , I can't believe  _you're_  saying this…"

"And what's  **that**  supposed to mean?!"

Gabriella smirked at Stella's incensed shout. " _Ein Mädchen, Fünf Löcher."_

Stella immediately flushed three different shades of crimson as Carmen giggled. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that! Best bridal shower  _ever_!"

"You swore you'd never talk about that!" The blonde hissed quietly.

"So did you," Gabriella offered smugly. "But that didn't stop you from showing the tape to your husband, did it?"

"Heehee, I remember you bragging how  _wild_  he got after he saw you-"

"This isn't about me!" Stella frantically shouted, cutting of further discussion of her dalliances before someone who wasn't on the need-to-know list heard her friends ribbing and drew the wrong (right) conclusions. "Our little girl's  _snapped_  protocol over their knees and slept with a suspect!"

"I can think of worse suspects," Carmen offered blithely, thinking about the decidedly unselfish behavior that had been relayed by her terminally embarrassed daughter.

"And Sammy didn't sleep with him." Gabriella offered cheekily.

Stella scowled and narrowed her eyes at the smug redhead. "Yeah? And what're you going to do now that he's going to be around Samantha all the time for 'training'?"

"I trust her not to do anything irresponsible."

Stella snorted in disbelief.

"And I trust him too."

Stella blinked at the nonplussed addition from her friend, while Carmen gave the redhead an equally surprised look. "Really, Gabby? Don't get me wrong, he sounds like a nice guy, but why would you trust him not to do anything with Sammy?"

"First, I didn't say he and Sammy won't do anything. I said I trust them to be  _responsible_."

Carmen nodded in a conciliatory manner while Stella scowled. "You  _really_  don't care if he sleeps with Samantha too?"

"Of course I care. But the second reason I trust him not to hurt my little girl is because he was put into an arranged marriage with unholy harpy back in Japan, and is apparently very passive around girls."

Stella's eyes widened and her jaw dropped while Carmen pursed her lips. "Right, Alex mentioned that too…"

"Wait, what?!" Stella gaped at the latina. "Clover didn't tell me anything like that!"

"Probably because you were more concerned with getting a confession than any details about her partner-in-crime."

"Which is ties into the third reason I trust Ranma and Sammy." Gabriella tossed in following Carmen's observation. "Ranma was raised by his father, and while said  _sperm-donor_  was an absolute scumbag, Ranma's reason for being here is because he doesn't want to be anything like him, and by Sammy's accounts, the poor guy has Bob Ross'ed pretty hard because of it."

Both of the other women blinked quizzically at their friends closing statement. "The artist Bob Ross?" Stella asked with obvious confusion. "Mister Happy Clouds and Bushes?"

"Mister happy clouds, who  _used_  to be a drill sergeant in the Air Force until he got sick of screaming at people." Gabriella explained with a meaningful look at her friends. "Now, apply that kind of reversal to a boy whose father would put him in arranged marriages in exchange for food…"

Stella's eyes narrowed as she found her outrage for the boy who'd... _been with_  her daughter was diverted to a (for the moment) equally as deserving target. Carmen pursed her lips and repeated her earlier statement in a tone that was still satisfied, but slightly more grim. "Like I said, everything worked out beautifully...for  _everyone_."

"Provided there aren't anymore hiccups, anyway." Gabriella added warily.

-0-

"Like, what's going on here?"

Ranma's grumbling about 'knowing how P-chan feels' ended with the sound of a nasally voice from behind him. Turning around, he saw Mandy and her two followers looking at him and the recovering spies plus Donna with curious expressions. "Just these ingrates laughing at my misery." Ranma said with a pointed look at his 'bodyguards'.

"Not our, not our fault!" Sam gasped, wiping away a few tears as she giggled, "Oh my God, that's the funniest thing I've heard in years!"

"Oh?" Mandy turned from Ranma and asked. "Care to sha-"

Her voice choked off in a strangling sound as she pointed at Clover and nearly shrieked, "Wha-What is  _that?!_ "

Recovering from the much needed laughter, Clover was brought low again while Caitlyn and Dominique both caught sight of her and immediately hugged each other tightly with matching wordless screams of horror. "My mom found out about me  _dating_  Ranma." The blonde replied with a sorrowful look down at her ensemblé. "She's in charge of my outfits from now on until she thinks she can trust me again."

A bitch Mandy might have been, but the warcrime against fashion she was staring at wasn't one she would have wished on-scratch that, she totally would have dressed up Clover like a frumpy soccer mom two days ago. Now that she and the blonde weren't...completely enemies for the moment, she honestly felt bad for the fashion-conscious girl. "That," the snob grimaced uncomfortably, unused to feeling or showing sympathy outside of her family, and even then only sometimes. "That's really harsh."

Clover blinked and looked up at her rival/tormentor. Thinking about the rather strange unity they had through Ranma and the effort Mandy was making to be nice, Clover offered a sincere, "Thanks, Mandy. That means a lot to me."

Mandy blushed, pleased at the gratitude, though a part of her insisted on maintaining her rep as she sniffed haughtily and said, "Well, it's not like I can make fun of your  _awful_  fashion sense when you're not dressing yourself, can I? It takes all the fun out of it!"

Clover gave a small chuckle, and noticed that Donna had leaned over and whispered something to Alex that made the latina yelp, blush bright red and smack the smirking 'amazon's arm with a giggle. Filing away the question of what a ' _sun-dairy'_  was for later, the blonde smirked and said, "Good thing that rule doesn't apply to me…but I'll be fair and not bring up those  _tacky_  shoes until I'm back in my pumps again."

"Tacky!?" Mandy snapped at the smirking blonde. "These are from the private collection of Matricé de Bourgogne!"

As the two girls got into a round of 'friendly' bickering, Sam shook her head and sighed before catching sight of Ranma and the thoughtful, slightly glum expression on his face. She scooted towards him a little, and quietly asked, "Penny for your thoughts?"

Ranma shook his head, brought out of his memories and into the present as he looked at the curious redhead and then back to Mandy and Clover. "Just thinking about home and how much different this would have played out." He offered just as quietly, though it was more due to solemnity than anything else.

"How's that?"

"You and Alex would be fighting over who got to give me a homemade lunch, Clover would be pissed off and saying she didn't care what I did with who, then smack me for leading you two  _and_  Mandy on, while Mandy would be cackling and attacking anyone she thought was a threat, or waiting for her chance 'save me from the penniless harridans'."

Sam stared at Ranma and his serious, completely honest expression. "Holy shit."

"Yeah, that was a fairly normal lunch."

Understanding a lot more why he left Nerima, the redhead turned back to the teté-a-teté between Clover and Mandy. Her lips quirked as she side-eye'd Ranma and softly added, "But your comparisons aren't that accurate, since Clover hasn't pretended she doesn't like you since you showed up."

Ranma chuckled at the redhead's comment. "Yeah, guess she's not like Akane at all. Then again…"

Ranma's voice trailed off, and he blinked as he looked between the four girls with a studious expression.

"Something wrong?" asked Sam, the intelligent, career-driven girl who was being friendly to him, but had a much deeper attraction to the pigtailed boy that was obvious to everyone but him.

Ranma pursed his lips and shook his head. "Nah, it's nothing."

Sam shrugged and went back to her lunch, while the very rich and (formerly) irredeemable bitch argued with the deceptively cunning girl who acted like a bimbo and lusted after Ranma, and off to the side, the short-haired athletic girl with a cute smile and a  _fierce_  temper chatted amicably with her friend.

00000

The sound of chattering, goodbyes to friends and greetings to parents met Sam as she walked through the school's front doors and stretched her arms with a relieved sigh. "Another day at school done."

"Yep." Clover replied with a wide smile. "And now, we get to have a private showing of Ranma's skills!"

Sam side-eye'd the blonde, knowing  _exactly_  where her mind had gone and cutting off that train of thought tout suite. "Private, except for Jerry, some WOOHP scientists, and our moms."

Clover deflated and gave the redhead a teary-eye'd pout. "Why you gotta kill my dreams, Sammy?"

Before the redhead could respond, the trio caught sight of Ranma, who waved at them from where he'd been waiting. Each of the girls smiled and blushed, for pretty much the same reasons, before approaching him. Alex was the first to pipe up, "Hey, Ranma! Ready to see Jerry?"

"Been ready since I came here." Ranma chuckled. "Kinda wish we could have cut the bull and done this sooner."

"Really?" Clover cocked an eyebrow and smiled cheekily. "Cause if you'd met with Jerry too soon, me and Alex wouldn't have gotten to experience the Nerima Rodeo."

"Clover." Sam sighed resignedly, her reprimand half-hearted while Ranma and Alex both blushed brightly. Focusing her attention on Ranma, Sam asked, "So, what're you going to show us? Throws, holds, some of that  _ki_  stuff?"

The pigtailed boy smiled mysteriously. "If it's all the same to you, I'd rather keep it a surprise."

Sam, Clover, and Alex matched Ranma's grin, and the redhead quipped, "Well, here's hoping it'll be impressive."

00000

Sam's mouth dropped open in shock while her mother stared dumbfounded out the overly large window.

Clover was resisting the urge to drool, but only barely while her mother's eye twitched violently.

Alex was red-faced and gnawing on her finger, while Carmen was fanning herself with one hand.

Jerry was externally keeping his expression calm and cool, while on the inside he was alternating between giggling like a schoolgirl and trembling in fear as he watched the number on a nearby monitor climb, with the rightmost digit a blur as it tallied up hits.

On the other side of reinforced glass, Ranma broke away from the thickly padded sensor that had extruded from one of the walls, the muscles in his arms burning a bit from what amounted to an endurance trial. Turning to the control room where the girls, his future boss and several techs were monitoring him, he asked, "How many was that?"

Jerry replied simply, "35.7 seconds, and four...four hundred and thirty seven strikes."

Ranma pursed his lips. "Really? That seems low. Was it counting all of them?"

Jerry stopped himself from gawping, but only barely. "Saotome-san, the sensor was calibrated to registered punches that were minimally as weak as an amateur boxer's jab. Yours were considerably stronger than that."

"Well, towards the end there I was losing some power."

One of the techs whispered to Jerry, who closed his eyes for a moment before answering, "That is true...which merely lowered the force from  _literally_  jackhammer levels to twice the impact of the current world record for heavyweight boxing." A small smile quirked his lips as he added, "You'll understand if I don't call up Guinness anytime soon, however."

Ranma laughed and Sam regained some sense of coherence, shaking her head before focusing on him. "And you  _seriously_ think I could do that?!"

"With the right trainin', sure. But not for awhile."

(Awhile, he says.) Sam thought weakly.

Gabriella, recovering from the shock of the physics breaking ability she'd just seen, stepped forward and said, "I don't suppose there's another way to learn that  _besides_  sticking Sam's hands in a fire?"

Ranma grimaced and chuckled nervously. "There  _kinda_  is, but the way I had to learn it ain't much better."

"What did you do?"

"Grabbed piranhas out of a fish tank by their tails without getting bitten."

"Pass." Sam said immediately as she hung her head.

Stella, curious about the training the...only slightly damned boy who'd  _dated_  her daughter, asked pointedly, "Where did you come up with that idea?"

"Wasn't my idea. I was at a festival playing the goldfish catching game and the guy running it got pissed 'cause of how many I was grabbing. He pulled the tank of piranhas out of nowhere and challenged me to grab em all bare-handed or give him his fish back." A dozen pairs of wide-eyes followed that statement, and Ranma cocked his head curiously. "What's up?"

Jerry offered in a mildly shaky tone. "Saotome-san...by any chance, did Britney say anything about checking Nerima's water supply for chemical contaminants?"

Ranma blinked. "Uh, maybe? Why?"

"No reason…"

00000

"Alright, this one is pretty important." Ranma said seriously to Jerry, who was outside the observation booth along with the spies, their mother's, and several techies, one of whom was standing in front of the pigtailed boy with a trepidatious expression. "Cause it's something my old man developed himself and while I hate usin' it, he won't have any problem if it means grabbing me and taking me back to Nerima."

"Fair enough, Saotome-san." Jerry acknowledged with a serious expression. "Whenever you're ready."

Ranma nodded and faced the suit wearing WOOHP agent, who was feeling a bit like he'd drawn the short straw as the pigtailed teen bowed respectfully to him.

Clover cocked an eyebrow as Ranma straightened back up, then hunched his shoulders slightly, while his hands came up in front of his body, flopped forward at the wrist. "What is he doing?"

Sam matched her friend's expression at the odd stance and said, "No-"

Then did a double-take as between one breath and the next, Ranma vanished into thin air. "-Idea?"

Out on the floor, jaws dropped and the direct observers looked around, confused and amazed by how thoroughly the teenager had disappeared.

In the control booth however, the three scientists were sharing studious, narrow-eye'd looks as their eyes flicked between the monitors in front of them and the open area beyond the thick glass window.

"Wow!" Alex gasped as she took a few steps forward, waving her hands through the area where Ranma had been and confirming there was now only empty air. "He's gone!"

"Ranma!" Clover called out, cupping her hand over her mouth as she looked around the room. "Where are you?!"

Stella followed her daughter's gaze, her expression warier as she considered the difficulty in stopping a boy who could turn invisible from sneaking out with her little girl, despite his paternal object lesson in how  _not_  to behave.

"Okay,  _that's_ just plain impressive." Gabriella offered quietly from the back of the group of girls, keeping her eyes on the location where Ranma had vanished from and trying to see any distortions in the air. "But also kinda scary…"

"No kidding." Sam nodded as she softly agreed with her mother. "If I still thought he was a bad guy,  _this_  would be freaking me the hell out."

Gabriella pursed her lips and turned her head, intending on reassuring her daughter to stop beating herself up over her mistake.

"Good thing you don't think I'm a bad guy then, huh?"

But let out a simulations shriek with Samantha at the sudden voice from behind them. The older of the two redhead's leapt forward, while the younger spun on her heel and lashed out with a backfist that ineffectively smacked against the open palm of the grinning pigtailed boy who'd appeared behind them.

Sam stared at Ranma with wide-eyes, heart racing from the scare and suddenly being  _much_  closer to his stormy, grey-blue eyes as everyone else similarly gawped at the martial artist-cum-magician. "R-Ranma!? How did you-?!"

"Sorry, trade secret." Ranma said cheekily. "Good reflexes, by the way. About twenty years too slow to catch me, but way better than I was expectin'."

Sam's eye narrowed, and Ranma blinked.

He then let out a yowl as the redhead drove the point of her 'work shoes' into his shin. While Ranma hopped on one foot and shouted ' _Ite!'_ , his future student snapped, "You inconsiderate  _jerk!_  You scared the shit outta me!"

"Language, Sammy." Gabriella chastised her daughter, though she also hid a small smile at the sight of Sam's cherry-red cheeks as she fumed at the pigtailed boy. "And besides, it  _was_  a little funny."

Sam snorted and crossed her arms, spinning away from Ranma as she declared haughtily, "Not to me! And my reflexes are just  _fine_ , thank you very much!"

Ranma glared at the redhead's back, grimacing as he rubbed the sore spot on his leg. "Oh yeah?! I've seen freeze-dried  _snails_  move faster than that!"

Sam's jaw dropped and she turned back with a snarl, "You egotistical-!"

"Saotome-san! Samantha!"

Jerry's voice brought the two out of their argument, and they each looked up to see the grey-haired Brit regarding them with a deceptively professional air. "If you're quite finished, do you mind explaining what that was, Saotome-san?"

Seeing the looks he and his possibly-future student were getting, Ranma winced apologetically and said, "Yeah, sorry about that." As he lowered his leg back to the ground. Straightening up, he met Jerry's eye and said, "First thing's first, Jerry-san; I'm only showin' you guys that move so you'll know what to expect if my old man shows up. If you want me to teach it to Samantha or anyone else, tough luck, 'cause I ain't doin' it."

Jerry's curiosity piqued. "Oh? You mind if I ask why?"

"Yeah, I mind." Ranma replied with a frown. When he saw that Jerry's expression didn't change, but now the others who had watched the show were looking at him suspiciously, he lowered his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's...it's not something I'm proud of, Jerry-san. I mean, it's strong and everything, but it's not really a style for fighting."

"Then what is it for?"

Ranma met Jerry's eyes for a moment, then sighed heavily and reached into his back pocket, pulling out a doubled over black-leather wallet and holding it up as he said, "This."

Jerry blinked. Then his eyes widened and he quickly patted his breast pocket, only to find it empty. "I say!"

"Yeah, sorry." Ranma said as he handed back Jerry's wallet. "It's not exactly somethin' I can be proud of, even if it is handy."

"Wait a second," the tech-guinea pig, a blonde man with thinning hair asked quizzically. "If you wanted to steal Jerry's wallet, why'd you ask me to help you out?"

Ranma regarded the man, and found himself smiling as he reached into his shirt and said, "Who said I only got Jerry?"

The tech blinked as the pigtailed boy withdrew a long belt and said, "Wait a second…" just as his loosened pants puddled around his ankles. The guinea pig immediately yipe'd and pulled his pants back up, glaring angrily at the boy who chuckled as he tossed the belt back to its owner while the girls giggled and the women chuckled at the brief glimpse of the man's heart-print boxers.

"Sorry, man." Ranma offered with an easy-going smile. "Needed to prove my point, you know?"

"More like show off." Sam muttered.

Ranma gave the redhead a challenging look. "If I only did it once, it could have just been luck, and twice could have been a coincidence." With a cocky grin, he pulled out a royal blue makeup case/communicator and added, "But three times proves I'm really that good."

Sam's eyes bugged as Carmen gasped and checked a pocket of her spybelt. "You little sneak!"

"Hey, I wasn't gonna keep it!" Ranma said defensively as he tossed the compact to Alex's mother, who caught it with one hand. "I just figured you were the safest bet for number three."

Carmen pursed her lips, but smiled in a way that was a mix of flirty and challenging. "If you wanted my number that badly, you should ask first, little man."

"MOM!" Alex shouted before covering her face in both hands, blushing brightly along with Ranma who regarded the older latina with a lot more wariness.

Pulling attention away from her friend embarrassing her child even more, Gabriella asked, "Why was Carmen the safest bet?"

"I didn't want to take something of yours, cause I'm gonna be trainin' Sam and I didn't want to make a bad impression, and I wasn't gonna take anything from Clover's mom 'cause..." Ranma's eyes flicked worriedly towards the blonde woman who was giving him another Mom-glare.

"Like, nuff said." Clover nodded in understanding. "But why not one of us?"

Ranma scratched the back of his neck, his earlier blush not fading completely as he admitted, "You guys trust me now, and you weren't gonna be on your guard as much as everyone else."

Jerry nodded in understanding as he listened to Ranma's reasoning for his chosen targets. "Very impressive, Saotome-san. I must admit, I'm now a bit more disappointed that you won't be sharing that ability with my organization." The older man turned to the booth and called, "I assume that was enough data for you?"

" _Yes, Jerry."_  One of the monitors said into a microphone. " _And we can confirm Ranma gave back everything he stole for the demonstration."_

Ranma blinked and glanced at the three scientists behind the reinforced glass. "Huh? How do you know that?"

" _The camera's picked up everything."_  The speaker explained. " _Though our sensors didn't detect how you-"_

"They WHAT!?"

Ranma's outcry shocked those around him almost as much as his sudden burst of speed, rounding the corner into the control booth and standing behind the chair of the surprised techs, which showed an image of him slipping the belt from around the waist of the unseeing agent from three different angles. As the girls, their mothers, Jerry, and the other witnesses entered the booth, Ranma paid them no heed as his mind went several weeks back into the past...

~several weeks ago~

"Ranma, why the hell are you  _poor_!?"

The pigtailed boy blinked at Britney, who'd finally spoken after being stunned by his explanation and demonstration of the Umisenken, following a quick training session in an abandoned building on the outskirts of Ginza. "Huh? Poor?"

"Yeah!" Britney affirmed with an empathetic nod. "Your dad should be the greatest thief in the world, or at least filthy rich, and he wouldn't need to marry you off to inherit the dojo!"

"But he sealed the techniques away after Ryu Kumon's dad died."

"Which still leaves  _years_  between developing those styles and sealing them away. All he had to do was rob  _one_  bank or steal  _one_  priceless treasure, and your family would have been set for life!"

Ranma frowned as he mulled over Britney's theory. "That makes  _some_  sense...but he's so bad with money, he'd probably spend it-"

"If he took the Mona Lisa," Britney countered immediately. "Or the Crown Jewels of England, or something just as valuable in Japan, he could have more money than even  **he**  could waste on gambling and booze. And you  _can't_ tell me he had an attack of conscience, because I don't buy that for a second."

The bluenette's eyes narrowed, and she tapped her finger on her knee. "There's something we're missing...and until we figure it out, I don't think you should use that technique, Ranma."

The pigtailed boy snorted. "Trust me, I haven't used it much since the fight with Ryu Kumon. It's embarrassing as hell."

"And too powerful for someone as morally bankrupt as your dad to throw it away for no reason." Meeting his eyes, Britney said seriously, "After I get back to Beverly Hills, we'll try it out somewhere safe and see if there's any downsides to it."

-0-

Jerry watched Ranma scowl, stern but also wary as the pigtailed boy's fist was still imbedded in the small crater in the metal table the monitor was sitting on when he'd punched it. "Something the matter, Saotome-san?"

Ranma was pulled from his thoughts and back into the present, seeing that everyone else was giving him looks varying from concerned to fearful to sympathetic. With a disgusted sigh, he lowered his eyes and spat, "It doesn't work on camera's. That's why my old man never used those damn techniques."

"You didn't know that?"

"No, I didn't." Ranma replied darkly, confusing the tech who was sitting nearest to him as the man broke out into a sweat for seemingly no reason. (as he couldn't sense the teen's battle aura) "And Britney told me there must have been  _some_  reason pops never used the Umisenken or Yamasenken to make himself filthy stinkin' rich."

Alex cocked her head quizzically. "Thousand Seas and Thousand Mountains?"

"The way of the silent bandit, and the way of the violent robber," Ranma corrected with a shake of his head. "One hides your presence so thoroughly you basically turn invisible, and the other teaches you how to stun people just by yelling at them and create razor-sharp wind blades with your bare hands that can slice apart solid stone. Pop's said he created the Yamasenken, and was so scared by its power that he created the Umisenken to counter it, then sealed them both away."

The entirety of the control booth stilled, everyone staring at the boy with wide, nervous eyes. "If he sealed them away, whatever that means," Sam asked quietly. "How'd you learn them?"

Ranma glowered at the redhead, but despite that, she relaxed a bit as his outrage clearly wasn't aimed at her. "I learned  _one_ , while another guy named Ryu Kumon learned the other when pops came across his dad's rundown dojo. Stupid old man gave Kumon's dad the manual for the Yamasenken so he could fix the place up." Ranma shook his head and chuckled humorlessly. "Instead, practicing that 'life-giving style' made the dojo collapse right on Kumon's dad's head, and Ryu became obsessed with learning the other half of pop's technique to finally fix up his family dojo."

Clover covered her mouth in horror at the thought of someone crushed under a building, while Carmen sardonically muttered, "Life-giving? Doesn't sound like it."

"That's what pops told Ryu and his old man, since those techniques aren't meant for  _fighting_." Ranma grunted in disgust. "They're both designed to make someone the perfect thief, and pops figured Ryu's dad could steal enough money to fix his dojo."

Jerry's expression and mood both turned more serious as he asked, "Where is Ryu Kumon now?"

"No idea. After we had a fight over the Umisenken's manual and he found out what the style was  _really_ for, he agreed to never use it again, just like I did. 'Cause unlike  **pops** ," Ranma spat the word like it left a bad taste in his mouth. " _We_  take our honor as martial artists seriously and wouldn't use the Art to rob someone."

"Much less  _create_  a martial art designed to rob people." Sam threw out sardonically, which earned her a nod of agreement from Ranma.

"And now I know the real reason pops never used them. The Yamasenken is violent and if he used it, he'd have to go on the run. The Umisenken is sneaky, but it doesn't work on cameras, which means he'd have to keep stealing from people who couldn't afford 'em." There was a growl as Ranma brought his fist up a few inches and slammed it into the table again and deepened the crater. "Lazy bastard of a panda...' _Never do anything you don't_ have  _to do, and even then, never more than once'_."

Clover's heart ached at the sight of her upset beau and she walked up to gently lay a hand on his shoulder. This made Stella twitch, but she understood where her daughter was coming from and made no move to stop the younger blond from consoling the pigtailed boy. "It's alright, Ranma. Now that we know it doesn't work on cameras, there's no way he could slip past us."

"And if he even  _thinks_  of using the Yamasenken to take me back," Ranma muttered angrily. "I'll show him how much better I am at the Art and kick his furry ass all the way back to Nerima."

Jerry cocked an eyebrow with interest. "You really believe you can beat him?"

Ranma gave an incredulous snort. "Damn right I can. Those moves were the only things he had that were a real threat. Long as I don't fall for 'your shoes are untied', he's got nothin' on me."

"You're sure?"

"Yes." Ranma stared plainly, less braggadocious and much more serious as he stared, "I've got his journal, so I know his playbook. All I need to do is come up with a few new techniques he doesn't know, and I'll be fine."

Jerry nodded in satisfaction. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to demonstrate a little more of what you  _do_  know?"

At that, Ranma grinned cheekily. "Jerry-san, trust me when I say that my other moves might be a bit more than your equipment can handle."

The older man chuckled. "I believe we can handle it."

00000

Jerry took stock of his surroundings and assets.

Of his five technicians; two were unconscious and one was curled in a fetal position and gibbering about things that 'should not be'. One of the remaining two who didn't major in physics finished taking a pull from a hip-flask with the words ' _If you see something, say nothing, and drink to forget'_  written on it, before passing the flask to his slack-jawed partner.

Of his six agents; Carmen was supporting Alex, who had nearly collapsed and was gasping for air like she'd just run a marathon with crimson cheeks. Stella was holding onto her daughter's shoulders with an iron grip, which brought the occasional wince and break in Clover's breathlessly giddy giggling. Gabriella was gawping openly, and Samantha…

Was staring at her future teacher, eye twitching rapidly as she muttered, "A video game...I'm gonna learn martial arts from a goddamn Street Fighter come to life…"

As for Jerry's surroundings, the only real change from the last demonstration was the blackened impact point at the far end of the room where a few dummies had been brought out for target practice, and nearby was the source of said charred blast zone.

Ranma blinked, slowly brought his hands to a more relaxed position, and grimaced at the congealing mass that had been human-shaped ballistics gel, but were now several lumps on the floor around the three crispy stands. "Wow...uhh...that's really nasty, Jerry-san."

"You'll forgive me, Saotome-san," Jerry replied dryly, fighting back the urge to kowtow to the teenager who could  _fire lasers from his bare hands_. "But when you asked for targets, I wasn't expecting you to use them to demonstrate your capabilities as a fully-armed and operational battlestation."

Ranma blinked while the girl's twitched, laughed or moaned, and their mothers snorted, growled, or giggled weakly. "Battlestation?"

"Nevermind, Saotome-san."

00000

Having adjourned to Jerry's office following Ranma's ' _Imma firin' mah Lazer'_  demonstration, the leader of WOOHP was seated behind his desk while his new secret weapon and six of his best agents stood in front of it. "All things considered, Saotome-san, I must say you're abilities will be a great boon to our field agents, provided you are successful in replicating your abilities with Agent Samantha."

Ranma smiled proudly, while also scratching the back of his head with a sheepish laugh. "I don't know about getting her to do  _everything_  I can. I mean, I was raised in the Art and anything that wasn't related to that was 'a distraction'."

Jerry nodded sympathetically at the slightly bitter emphasis Ranma had put on the last words. "I understand. But if you manage to train Samantha to have even a tenth of your own capabilities, your future with WOOHP will be secured." The older spymaster couldn't suppress a small smile at the fib, as he was ready to pull out all his front teeth before he'd let an asset like Ranma slip away.

Sam let out a small breath, relieved and at the same time worried because of what it might take to get her to perform the inhuman feats she'd seen today. She then blinked as a memory came to her and looked at Ranma. "What's worse than the beehives?"

" _Nani?"_  Ranma looked quizzically at the serious redhead. "Beehives?"

"Everytime your dad's training is mentioned, something about you 'dodging beehives' is brought up," Sam stated as she turned to face him, crossing her arms in front of her. "And last night, you told us that you wouldn't put me through that training because it was useless. I'm not too keen on experiencing it, but I'd like a better idea of what made you as good as you are."

(With the added bonus of why this is what drove you away from Nerima.) the redhead added silently.

Stella, Gabriella, and Carmen shared mutual looks of concerned worry, while Clover and Alex's expressions turned serious. Ranma frowned, noting that Jerry was also looking at him expectantly. Looking at Sam with an expression of ' _you asked for it'_ , he replied, "I wasn't dodging the beehives. Pops had me stand under hornets nests while he'd hit 'em with rocks and sticks. When they flew out and attacked me, I had to swat them all down without being stung."

Sam thought she'd braced herself for the worse, but that statement shattered her already tempered expectations like glass, draining the blood from her cheeks as she whispered in utter horror, "He  _what?!_ "

"Oh my God," Clover whimpered with tears in her eyes. "Why would he  _do_  that to you?!"

Ranma looked over his shoulder and caught the glimmering eyes of his 'girlfriend'. Feeling a little embarrassed and irritated by her pity, he looked away from her and rubbed the back of his neck. "Guy I know back home learned a technique that let him blow up rocks by pokin' them. Swattin' down a swarm of bees before they could sting me meant I could knock away all the little rock pieces without getting scratched."

(Scratched, he says…) Sam swayed slightly as that statement sunk in. (More like turned into shredded beef!)

"But, how was that  _useless_?" Alex whimpered, her cheeks wet as she regarded the boy she'd done this-and-that with sorrowful eyes. "That sounds...it's horrible, but if you can do something like that, it's amazing!"

Ranma scowled darkly. "Yeah, it's ' _Amazing'_ ; except the point was to wait for Ryoga to wear himself down usin' the move, only the trainin' he went through made him so tough he could walk off getting blown up over and over again."

Ranma's sullen addition nearly broke Jerry's composure as images ran through the older man's mind of 'suicide bombers' who wouldn't need explosive materials to cause mass destruction  **and**  could walk away from whatever carnage they'd wrought.

Sam, having recovered from the system shock of hearing Ranma go through something that violated several Geneva Convention statutes, kept herself from being as emotionally overwhelmed as her teammates, though she couldn't keep the sympathy out of her voice as she offered, "That's why it was useless. You'd just make yourself tired-"

An idea occurred to Sam, stiffening her shoulders and widening her eyes as her realigning cranial circuits made a connection between Ranma's statement and what she now realized his father was capable of. "Ranma," Sam asked in a deadly serious, quiet voice. "Did your...did that  **bastard**  know this 'Ryoga' could walk away from getting blown up over and over again?"

Ranma grimaced, and gave Sam a frustrated look that made his answer a moot point as he sullenly replied, "Yeah. Yeah, he did."

The redhead knew she would regret asking her next question, but couldn't stop herself. " _Why?_ "

"'Cause then I'd learn what pops  _really_ wanted me to master; how to improvise and come up with a way to win on my own." Ranma, noting the pity in his future student's eyes along with those of his two lover's and all three moms, scowled and lowered his eyes as he murmured, "And all he had to do is sit back and take credit for ' _teaching me everything' I know'_."

A poignant silence descended at that, which was eventually broken by Clover asking with a sob, "Jerry? Permission to hug Ranma, please?"

"Denied."  
"Denied!"

The calm and professional reply from her boss and the harsher echo from her mom made Clover's shoulders sag and she sniffled. "But he  _needs_  one…"

Jerry agreed wholeheartedly, but as this was neither the time nor the place, he stuck to his guns and focused on continuing the interview with a personal sticking point. "Saotome-san, Myrna claimed yesterday that one of your followers, who I presume to be this Hibiki boy, regularly challenges you to duels and tries to use this technique directly on you."

Sensing a shitstorm brewing, but feeling obligated to answer honestly, Ranma scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably and replied, "It's not that regularly, and he only tried to hit me the first time, before he knew it only worked on rocks-"

"WHAT!?"  
"WHAT?!"  
" _WHAT?!"_

Ranma winced as he realized he'd underestimated the reaction from all three girls, as they were all suddenly standing in front of him, looking nearly hysterical as Alex cried out, "He tried to blow  _you_  up!?"

"Y-yeah, but it's only 'cause he overreacted-"

" _Overreacted?!_ " Sam shouted, her own professional demeanor hell and gone. "Trying to make you explode isn't an  _overreaction,_  Ranma!"

Before he could stop himself, the Saotome foot-in-mouth technique manifested and Ranma corrected the redhead by mumbling, "Actually, he mostly aimed for my head-"

Ranma winced and rubbed his ear as he cursed his big mouth, due to Clover let out an ear-splitting shriek of, "HE TRIED TO TURN YOUR FACE INTO  _SALSA_?!" Before turning to her boss and shouting, "Jerry, tell me you're gonna put that psycho on a terrorist watchlist!"

"Done." The older Brit nodded in agreement.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Ranma frowned as he waved off the girl's reactions. "It's not that bad-"

"Not that  _bad!?_ " Alex sobbed out. "Ranma, how can you defend that  _monster_?!"

"Ryoga ain't a monster! He's just stubborn and-"

"Ranma, Mandy is  _stubborn_ ," Clover returned desperately. "But she's never tried to pop me like a water balloon-!"

" _ **HEY!**_ "

The three girls flinched back from a sudden wave of hot air, which seeming came from nowhere, but centered on the boy they'd bumrushed, who proceeded to berate them angrily. "I'm not saying Ryoga was in the right; and I'm not saying he's a monster either! He's stubborn and pigheaded and could get lost in a  _broom closet_ , but he's a damn nice guy you can trust with anything! He just blames me for everything wrong in his life and doesn't think things through when I'm around, 'cause he's thinks about me the same way Sam did when I first showed up, and has for almost 5 years!"

The three girls, their mothers, and their boss digested that rant in stunned silence. After a moment, Sam hesitantly asked, "Ranma...how can you defend somebody who tried to kill you?"

Ranma snorted. "Ryoga's not the only guy,  _or_  girl, who's attacked me with somethin' dangerous. Difference is, some of the stuff he blames me for is legitimate and compared to the others, he's…" Ranma's defensive tone faltered slightly as he sensed another outburst on the horizon, but pressed on anyway. "He's my friend."

Another round in the echo chamber followed that statement. "Friend?" Alex whispered with wide eyes. "You...you call that...a  _friend?_ "

Ranma glanced at the latina before looking away apologetically and mumbling, "Even though we fought a lot...until I came here, Ryoga was the closest thing I had to a friend."

Sam ran that over in her mind, considering the variables involved in Ranma's life that would lead him to believe someone like that could qualify as anything other than a murderous lunatic. Her professionalism gone and vision blurring, she raised her hand and addressed the black and grey-topped blob behind the desk. "Jerry, permission to hug Ranma really,  _really_  hard, please?"

"Granted."

Ranma woofed when he was suddenly tackled to the floor by the three girls who'd gathered around him, each of them clinging to him tightly like gravity had suddenly taken a lunch break and if they let go for a moment, they or he would go flying into the air. Feeling uncomfortable due to the pity coming from the three girls who were crying into his shirt, the pigtailed boy sat up and awkwardly patted two of their backs, while the redhead in the center of his chest went without.

"It seems that miss Beesbottom was understating the matters of your home life, Saotome-san." Jerry mused with a frown, noting that even Stella was tearing up in sympathy for the boy she looked like she wanted to order a hit on only a few minutes ago. "And I can assuredly say that is  **not**  a good thing…"

"It wasn't...that bad." Ranma trailed off as he looked down at the crying girls in his arms. "Or at least, I used to think it wasn't that bad until Britney started pointing stuff out to me."

"For which I will thank her for, when she finishes covering your tracks and comes back." Eyeing his emotional agents and the awkward expression on Ranma's face, Jerry offered, "Saotome-san, would you rather we continue this discussion in private?"

Disregarding the older man's obvious sympathy in gratitude for offering him a way out, Ranma nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that a lot."

"What?" Clover looked up, lip quivering as she gave Ranma a double-dose of Bambi eyes. "But Ranma-"

"It's fine, Clover-chan." Ranma reassured her with a half-hearted smile. "It's just not that comfortable to talk about."

"And I would like to get more information from Saotome-san on his circumstances, without needing to halt the proceedings every 10 minutes."

Clover gave Jerry a sullen look, but acquiesced as she, Sam, and Alex got to their feet and let Ranma stand as well. With one last hug from each of them, the spies silently separated from the pigtailed boy and walked over to their mother's, before all 6 women left the room together.

Now alone, Ranma turned to Jerry and said, "Thanks for that, Jerry-san."

"It's no trouble. It seemed like you weren't happy talking about your home life front of an audience."

"No, I wasn't." Ranma admitted with pursed lips. "I mean, I get where they were comin' from, but I don't like bein' pitied, you know?"

Jerry scowled, but didn't correct the boy on the difference between completely justified sympathy and disdainful pity. "I understand. Now, if you wouldn't mind starting from the top?"

00000

"How bad do you think the rest is?"

Sam, sitting across from Clover on the blonde's bed, shook her head softly and said, "I don't know...I want to say it couldn't get worse than that, but…"

The three spies had gone to Clover's house, partially to discuss what they'd heard from Ranma before being 'dismissed' by their boss, and also to give Clover some company due to her having a 6 o'clock curfew for the foreseeable future. The girl's had adjourned to her bedroom, and were sitting cross-legged as they contemplated the weight that had settled onto their shoulders regarding the boy they now knew they were supposed to be guarding.

Alex however, was focused more on the burden that had been on Ranma's shoulders as the soft-hearted latina whispered despairingly between quiet hiccups, "How, how could he  _do_  that to Ranma?! Hi-his own son! That  _monster!_ "

"Because he didn't give a  _fuck_ , Alex." Sam said with a grim expression as Clover reached out and gently held their friend's shoulder, prompting Alex to lean over and lay her head on the blonde's shoulder while she kept sniffling. "But if anything, Ranma's reaction is what really made the whole situation worse."

"Yeah," Clover agreed, scowling darkly even as she rubbed the sniffling latina's arm. "I can't believe he'd stand up for some  _psycho_  who tried to kill him!"

"Not that part, Clover." Sam corrected the blonde. "When Ranma talked about his dad and the things he did, he's obviously angry, but it's more like he's  _disappointed_  than anything else. When you consider what he had to deal with…" She bit her lip. "I think Ranma might keep some things from Jerry that are really important."

"What!?" Clover and Alex both looked up, gaping at Sam as the blonde snapped, "Sammy, we  _know_  he's not a bad guy now!"

"I'm not saying he's gonna  _lie_ , Clover!" Sam shot back defensively. "But a part of Ranma thinks what he went through was  **normal** , including the stuff his dad did! Until now, anyway." Dialing back her outrage a bit, Sam narrowed her eyes and muttered, "You saw the look on his face after he found out cameras can see through his 'sneaky thief' thing. He knew his dad was an amoral scumbag, but thought there was a  _little_  decency that kept the bastard from using those techniques to rob people blind."

Alex surprise faded as she caught Samantha's intent and nodded in understanding. "But his d-" The latina's lips twisted in disgust. " **He**  was covering his ass instead, because the techniques weren't foolproof and he didn't want to get arrested.  _Or_  work harder than he had to."

"And now Ranma's got that on top of whatever else he learned from his sperm-donor's journal." Sam's expression firmed. "The fact that he still expects anything resembling common decency means he hasn't completely accepted the fact that he's not in Nerima, and won't be going back there if we have anything to say about it."

"Damn straight." Clover spat as Alex nodded with an angry look on her face. "I'd rather let Mandy be my Maid of Honor then let him get dragged back to that nightmare!"

"Me too." Sam nodded as well, before adding, "So I'm gonna pump him for information during our training, and see if there's anything he didn't tell Jerry that he  _really_  should have."

Clover suppressed a snicker at the redhead's double-entendre and offered in a faux displeased tone, "That doesn't sound much different than what you wanted us to do."

"I said I was sorry, Clover."

"Sammy, I'm not talking about that." The blonde's lips quirked in an amused grin. "I'm just thinking what happened when me and Alex did some  _spy work_  on Ranma, and wondering if you're gonna make it a hat-trick."

"Clover!" Alex gasped as Samantha flushed crimson. "Sammy wouldn't do that! She doesn't even like Ranma like that!"

Clover spared a quick glance at the blushing redhead, and her smile widened slightly. "If you say so, Alex."

"ANYWAY!" Sam shouted, trying to distract her friends away from her possible ( _very_  real) attraction to her future teacher. "What do you think Jerry's going to do with the info he gets from Ranma?"

"Probably just put out warnings to airports and harbors to keep an eye out for anyone Ranma tells him about?" Alex offered with a shrug.

-0-

(I will not call down an orbital strike on Japan.) Jerry intoned silently while pinching the bridge of his nose. (I will  **not**  call down an orbital strike on Nerima after I get every single citizen over the age of 16 committed to several maximum security insane asylums and evacuate those who remain to cities that are a  _minimum_  of 500 miles away. I will  _ **not**_  then provide said facilities with enough funding to employ the most skilled mental health professionals money can buy and upgrade their security systems until they are capable of restraining the most  _ridiculously_  deranged individuals I've ever  **heard** of-)

"Jerry-san?"

Jerry opened his eyes and looked at the boy who was regarding him curiously, and debated sparing some of that mental health money for WOOHP's latest asset. This thought was dismissed as he assumed that being away from an open-air psych ward would improve any issues that Ranma may have accrued, and the spymaster replied, "Just weighing the information you have told me, Saotome-san. And if you don't mind, I must say that I admire your willpower even more, as many people couldn't have experienced the same things you have and come out of it with their sanity intact."

Ranma frowned at what sounded like an insult. "Hey, I know things were rough, but-"

"Saotome-san, it is without the faintest hyperbole that I can say I know of career veterans who have not faced the dangers you have on a daily basis." Jerry interrupted the boy with a slight frown. "The fact that you have survived against such pressures is impressive, but you need to understand that many of the skills which you consider to be normal back home, are decidedly  _abnormal_  outside of Nerima. And to that end, I will be giving you several orders as a probationary WOOHP agent and future physical trainer."

Ranma pursed his lips, but shelved his other arguments for the moment as he straightened up and turned all his attention onto Jerry.

"First, while your commitment to your personal honor is admirable, situations such as the one between your fiancé and her 'pet'," The older man's eyes narrowed. "Will  _not_  be tolerated. If Ryoga Hibiki or any of the other victims of Jusenkyo with animalistic curses attempt to use their cursed forms as a method of subterfuge, you are to reveal them immediately, or as soon as you are able."

Ranma winced at the condemnation, but nodded in agreement and said, " _Hai_ , Jerry-san."

"Secondly, I would ask that you take Samantha's training seriously, and refrain from any of your father's training regimens. Unless you feel something there is recoverable?"

Unbidden, Ranma's thoughts went back to one of the first days of training with Britney…

~several weeks ago~

Ranma laughed as the sweating bluenette spun on her heel, glaring angrily at him as he laced his fingers behind his head and cheerfully declared, "Hey, I actually felt some wind on that one! Keep it up, and you might be able to catch me in ten years!"

Britney snarled at the boy who'd spent the last 15 minutes dancing around her on the roof of the apartment she was staying at in Nerima. The pair were protected under a camouflage-projecting and noise-dampening field in the form of a trendy fanny-pack, which would prevent anyone from seeing or hearing them outside or around the building, though not if someone came up through the roof access stairs, as they had. Needless to say, the cover was basically foolproof against Ranma's fan club.

But at the moment, all Britney cared about was that she could use the muting effect to its utmost effect as she snapped, "Would you take this  **seriously?!**  Goddamnit, no  _wonder_  Akane gets so pissed off at you all the time!"

Ranma pursed his lips. "Hey, that ain't fair! You wanted to learn the Art, and that's what I'm doing!"

"You haven't done  _anything_  except dodge and insult me!" Britney snapped as she turned towards him, planting her fists on her hips and glaring at him. "When are you actually gonna show me what I'm doing wrong!?"

Ranma blinked. "Doin' wrong? What do you mean?"

"You know, tell me what I need to do so I can actually  _hit_  you?!" Britney huffed angrily. "Like a  **real**  sensei would do instead of badmouthing me! If you want me to quit, you're doing a better job of  _that_  than showing me anything about martial arts!"

Ranma narrowed his eyes. He almost told the spy if she couldn't hack it, then she should quit. But this was important, and he didn't want to take the off-chance that she misunderstood him and  _did_  stop before he could show her what he was capable of. "That's not how it works, Britney."

"Huh? What do you mean by that?"

"You're supposed to use your anger to push yourself to try harder." He explained simply. "You know some basics, but you can't get past that without some fighting experience, more than you'd get from sparring. Normally I'd givin' it to ya too, but you know, I don't hit girls."

Britney blushed a little and Ranma cocked his head quizzically, wondering why she was doing that as she shook her head and gave him a less angry, more studious look. "Wait, so you're insulting me to try and  _motivate_  me?"

"Yeah, basically."

Britney narrowed her eyes. "Is that why you insult Akane too?"

"Uh, yeah?" Ranma replied, even more confused at the girl's dark tone. "Wasn't it obvious?"

"No! No, it wasn't obvious, you  _idiot_!" Britney snapped again. "Dancing around and telling someone how much they  **suck**  just makes you look like a show off and an asshole! You're lucky Akane hasn't given up the Art entirely with that stupid training!"

"Hey, Akane wouldn't do that!" Ranma fired back. "And the trainin' ain't stupid! It's how I learned!"

Britney blinked. "Wait...your dad did that?"

"Yeah! You've seen him do it!"

"I thought that was just trash-talk." Britney said her angry expression faded into thoughtful musing.

"Nah, that's trainin' too. Besides motivatin' people, insulting an opponent is a good way to tick them off and make them sloppy. Pop's does it to me so I can keep a clearer head if someone tries the same trick on me."

Britney studied Ranma in silence for several moments, and the pigtailed boy fidgeted uncomfortably. "What're you doing?"

"...just throwing more evidence behind a theory."

" _Nani?_ "

"Nevermind." The bluenette said evasively. "Just...don't say anything if it's not helpful, okay? We'll try that for a little while and if I don't improve when you're  _not_  acting like a jackass, then you can go back to pissing me off and putting all the  _hard work_  on  **me**. Fair?"

Ranma frowned at the emphasis she put on the last bit, but filed it away for later as he said, "Alright, let's go again."

-0-

"There isn't much, Jerry-san," Ranma replied with a frown, now knowing what the theory was that Britney had been gathering evidence for; that 'Motivation through Spite' had been just like everything else his dad ever taught him, designed to keep the fat panda doing as little as humanly possible. "I had to improvise a lot with Britney, but she was showin' improvement before I left, so I don't think I'll have to use any of pops' training to get Samantha up to snuff."

Jerry gave a small sigh. "You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that."

"Yeah…" Ranma added softly. "Me too."

00000

Later that night, as Ranma ran a 'lesson plan' through his head, he took a moment to wonder if he should have brought up the Nekoken.

With a shake of his head, he disregarded that thought, as his pride insisted that the risk of triggering a feline rampage was much lower now that he didn't have an amazon chasing him who used her curse and his trauma as a form of vindictive punishment. And the possibilities of a brief scare outweighed more pity from his boss and coworkers.

00000

Sam let out a 'woof' of air as her back hit the ground, and groaned as she rolled onto her side.

The source of her discomfort grimaced regretfully and crouched down. "Sorry, Sam. I thought you were ready-"

"So did I." Sam replied as she finished her roll, slowly getting back onto her feet without taking her teacher's hand and offer of assistance. Straightening up, she took a breath and reassumed a basic stance, her eyes narrowed in determination. "But that's what this training is for, right? Let's keep going."

Ranma smiled in admiration for his student's dedication as he stood up and similarly readied himself for more sparring.

It was Friday, and the pair were in the backyard of Sam's house for their first true sparring match. In the days leading up to the weekend, Ranma had gotten an overall feel for his student's athletic ability (better than he'd hoped) and mental focus ( _scarily_  good) before giving her a few simple kata's and exercises to do when they weren't training, and walked her some meditative practices.

The reason for the relatively easy start was simple; her mother had said in no uncertain terms that missing school due to some kind of injury was unacceptable and any full-contact martial arts training would have to be on the weekend.

This made things harder on Ranma. But then again, it also made their training a bit of a challenge, and if there was one thing Ranma didn't back down from, it was a challenge.

He grinned as he slid past her admittedly good, if textbook punch, and brought his arm under her armpit and up over her shoulder, pinning her over-extended limb and making her give an indignant squawk as he grabbed her other arm by the wrist and took that out of the equation by placing it at the small of her back.. Now defenseless, and with her back pressed against his chest, Ranma grinned cheekily and said, "Not bad that time, but you need to tighten your movements, don't telegraph so much."

Sam grunted, but understood what he was saying. That didn't stop her from resolutely wiggling and muttering, "Gimme a minute, and I bet I can turn this around."

Ranma's smile widened, again grateful for having a dedicated student. And he had to admit, he was enjoying teaching Sam Anything Goes more than he did with Britney, mostly because he didn't feel the constant urge to look over his shoulder.

Unfortunately, Sam's wiggling soon made both teenagers realize Ranma was enjoying their proximity on another level when his semi-hard manhood prodded her backside.

Sam let out a startled yipe from the warm rod that was suddenly lodged between her buttcheeks, and Ranma countered with a shocked, " _Shimatta!"_  as he let go of her and leapt away. Landing on the balls of his feet several yards away, Ranma spun around and adjusted himself, swearing under his breath before saying, "I'm sorry, Sam! I wasn't tryin' to do that!"

Samantha breathed heavily, the brief contact with Ranma's length had sent a shock through her body, even through the cloth separating them, and left behind a warmth in her nethers that certainly wasn't helped by her memories showing the anatomical details of his manhood, as seen through a camera. "I...I believe you, Ranma." Sam replied as she caught her breath and tried to slow down her racing heart. "Just take a minute to...handle it, and we'll go on."

"Right…" Ranma muttered as he looked down, and his eyes narrowed.

Sam blinked at a sudden cool breeze. In fact, it was a  _cold_  breeze, like winter was in the air. She looked around quizzically, wondering where it'd come from when Ranma said, "Alright, ready!" in a satisfied tone.

She looked back, and saw that while he was still blushing, there wasn't a noticeable bulge in his pants. This both disappointed and relieved her, as she turned to face him and said, "Alright, let's keep going."

The two of them bowed respectfully to each other, then resumed their spar. As a semi-conscious safety feature, they refrained from anymore close-contact grapples, though Sam's hesitancy was also because the air around Ranma was strangely cold, like he'd just been standing in front of an air-conditioner going full blast.

From inside the house, unseen by the two teens, Gabriella Simpson watched as Ranma threw punches and kicks at her daughter while deflecting the return strikes with ease.

And a small smile formed on her face.

00000

Sam sighed as she stripped off her pants and placed them in the locker. "If there's  _one_  thing this training is going to do for me, at least gym will be a little easier to deal with."

"That's the spirit, Sammy!" Alex giggled lightly from behind the redhead, standing in front of her own locker and pulling her jersey on over her head.

Dominique pursed her lips, recalling Alex's little kink for athleticism. In the interests of the truce however, she didn't comment on why the latina was so perky. Then she glanced over and found her thoughts pre-empted by the sight of Samantha's body. One eye twitching, she offered, "I don't think it's going to be a  _little_  easier…"

"Huh?" Sam turned towards Mandy's friend to find the short-haired girl staring at her. "What is it?"

On the other side of Sam, the bare-naked Clover followed Dominique's eyes, and her jaw dropped as she gasped, "Sammy! You've got  _abs_!"

"What?!" Sam spun towards the blonde, seeing that Clover was staring at her stomach and looked down.

It took a few moments, but Samantha realized that yes, there was a  _very_  obvious definition to her abdominal muscles. It wasn't anything close to a 6-pack, and still had something of a smooth and creamy look. But there were still  _lines_  tracing across either side of her belly-button, down to her groin and up to her ribs.

Alex bent over, getting a closer look at the redhead's new musculature and gave the redhead an experimental poke. "Wow...Sammy's getting  _buff_ …"

After staring for a few moments more, Sam looked at her left arm and flexed slightly. Seeing a noticeable bulge form from her bicep, her eyes widened and she breathed, "Holy  _shit_ …"

00000

Sam pursed her lips as she approached Ranma's front door, a strange mix of irritated and giddy at her new 'athleticism' as she knocked and called out, "Ranma?"

" _Come in."_

She took a breath and opened the door, ready to ask for alternative training methods that wouldn't give her the body of a rule 63-ed redheaded Heman. "Listen Ranma, I want to talk to you about trying-"

She stopped, her words dying in her throat when she caught sight of Ranma.

Or rather, a hot boy with no shirt on who was lean and  _ripped like a phonebook_  standing nearby with a karate  _gi_  in his hands.

Ranma turned to Sam and grinned welcomingly. "What's that, Sam?"

"I want...try…" Sam swallowed heavily, trying and failing to stop her eyes from wandering across his torso. "Other exercises…"

"Like what?"

"Just some...something…" with an irritated growl, Samantha shook her head and closed her eyes. "I'll tell you later! Can we go outside now?"

Ranma blinked at her sudden anger, but since it didn't seem to be directed at him, he shrugged and said, "Okay then. Let's get to it." as he finished dressing himself for training.

Sam's eye twitched as he walked past her, completely oblivious to the fact that she'd been ogling him. It was a mixed blessing to the redhead that he probably also wouldn't notice she was already damp, despite the two of them not having started their workout yet.

Elsewhere, a certain blonde teenager cackled gleefully, having watched the entire exchange on her bedroom TV.

00000

Ranma rolled the kinks out of his shoulders while Sam chugged from the water bottle she'd taken from his fridge. He smiled, but not in a lustful way at the sight of the sweat-soaked,  _gi_ -wearing redhead. Seeing her like this made him appreciate her dedication to learning  _his_  style of Anything-Goes, completely bereft of the teachings of his father. While not as punishing, he knew it was still harsh and he was glad Sam was willing to push herself and go that extra distance, though he had to be careful and remember she wasn't a true 'martial artist', at least physically yet.

"You want to take a break?" he asked as he stepped past her, grabbing a bottle from the open refrigerator she was standing in front of.

"Yeah!" Sam gasped, having prioritized hydration over oxygen, even though her body needed large quantities of both at the moment. "Yeah, just a few minutes, okay?"

"Well, you can take longer than that." Ranma said with a smile, "Cause we're done for today."

"What?" the redhead blinked. "You said we weren't going to stop until 5. Working on my endurance, remember?"

Ranma's smile widened and he flicked his eyes to his right. Sam followed his gaze and settled on his microwave, and the green-glowing lights of the machines internal clock, which displayed 5:36.

Her jaw dropped and she breathed, "No way...we were going at it for that long?"

"First sign of increased ki reserves," Ranma offered as he took a pull from his own drink. "Increased stamina. I gotta say, you're developing quickly."

"You think so?" Sam looked at him, the corners of her lips curling up in a hopeful grin. "Can we try the  _really_  fun stuff soon?"

Ranma grimaced apologetically. "Sorry, Sam, I don't think you're up for that quite yet."

"Aw, come on!" Sam pleaded as she clasped her hands in front of her and gave him a double dose of Bambi eyes. "You  _know_  I've been getting better! Just give me a chance, and I'll blow your  **mind**!"

"Sam, I'm trying to be careful about this!" Ranma explained in his stern, sensei-voice. "If we go too far too fast, then you might hurt something, and it'll screw things up for both of us! I'd rather be certain you're safe before goin' any further, got it?"

"Alright," she sighed in resignation. "I'm just excited, cause it feels like I'm on the edge of making a breakthrough, you know?"

Ranma chuckled. "That's good, cause it means you're not gonna give up before we're done, are you?"

"Nope." The redhead chirped before draining the rest of the bottle in one drawn out swig and tossed it over her shoulder and into his recycling bin without bothering to look. "I'm dead set and ready to take everything you got!"

-0-

"Would you two just  **FUCK** already!?" Clover shouted at her tv screen, teeth bared as she watched Sam and Ranma beat around the bush and toss around innuendo like they didn't even know they were doing it. Bad enough that she couldn't be with Ranma, but the fact that her newfound enjoyment of voyeurism was being teased ruthlessly made what she was seeing so much more infuriating.

" _Can I use your bathroom to freshen up?"_ Samantha asked as she wiped away a bit of sweat from her brow. " _Just so I don't have to walk home soaking wet?"_

Clover's eye twitched.

" _Fine by me."_ Ranma replied with an easy-going smile. " _I figured you'd need it after getting so hot today."_

The grin made Clover's heart race, though his comment made a vein throb in her temple.

" _Really? You never shower at my house."_

Ranma scratched the back of his neck. " _That...feels a little different. Besides, I can roofhop back here in minutes, so it ain't that big of a deal."_

Clover took a few deep breaths to calm herself down.

" _Speaking of which, how long until you think I can do that?"_

" _Not sure, but pretty soon."_  The pigtailed boy smiled widely. " _You're learnin' so fast, you won't have to be under me for much longer!"_

"That's it!" Clover shouted as she threw up her hands. "I can't take this anymore! Time for the nuclear option!"

The blonde picked up her phone, tapping it in an irritated way as she waited for Sammy to leave. The instant the door to Ranma's bathroom was shut tight, she hit the speed dial, and waited until Ranma picked up his now ringing phone, one eyebrow cocked curiously at the peppy song she didn't recognize which was apparently his ringtone for her.

" _Hey, Clover-chan?"_

Clover smiled, hearing his voice in a more direct fashion, and calling her that little pet name sent a flutter through her heart. She took a moment to focus herself and smiled thinly as she replied, "Hey, Ranma. Just wanted to know how the training with Sammy is going?"

" _It's going good. Sam's a really hard worker and I think Jerry's gonna be really impressed by her progress."_

"So it won't be that much longer until me and Alex can get all hot and sweaty with you too?"

Apparently, Ranma  _could_  catch pop flys when they were from her, because he blushed mightily and stammered, " _Uhh, it might be awhile before_ that  _happens! I mean, the trainin' and all-"_

"Yeah, I know mom blew her top and you don't want to piss off Jerry." Clover sighed. "I guess it's my duty as your current ex, hopefully future girlfriend to give you a way out."

" _How's that?"_

"Pull the stick out of Sammy's ass and swap it with your dick."

Ranma froze so fast, Clover swore she heard ice cracking over the phone, moments before the high-pitched whisper of "Nani!?" squeaked out of her beau's mouth.

"Ranma, I know you can be totally dense about romance and stuff, so I'm gonna be blunt with you." Clover smiled as she leaned back in her chair, watching his cheeks redden while his eyes widened further. "Sammy is hot for you, and I know you probably like her too. If you want to show her a good time, I won't mind at all. In fact," the blonde purred silkily. "I think it'd be  _hot_."

" _C-Clover-chan...you...wha?"_

"Just think about it. But make sure when you do it, you find somewhere nice and private to make Sammy squeal. WOOHP is still keeping an eye on your place to make sure your fanclub doesn't show up. Bye-bye!"

With that, Clover hung up and grinned cheekily as Ranma slowly put his phone back in his pocket, looking flustered and so  _adorably_  off-balance that she resisted the urge to call him back up and tease him some more. Before that however, a nagging curiosity tugged the back of her mind, and she made another call. This time, she was greeted by Alex's peppy, " _Hi, Clover. What's up?"_  when the latina answered her phone.

"Got a question, Alex." Clover offered as she remembered the lyrics to the ringtone her beau had set for her. "Do you know of any songs with the lyrics, 'Light your heart up'?"

After a few moments, Alex hesitantly replied, " _I think I know one. Why?"_

"Apparently, that's what Ranma has as his ringtone for me, and-" the blonde blinked as the unmistakable sound of snorting and giggling coming through the phone.

-0-

Sam stepped out of Ranma's bathroom, showered and refreshed in more casual clothing as she called out, "All yours,  _sensei_."

"O-okay, thanks Sam."

Something in Ranma's voice caught Samantha's attention, and she blinked quizzically at the cherry-cheeked boy who was trying and failing to look like he was leaning casually against the wall of his narrow hallway, and making a point of not looking at her. "Is...something wrong?"

Flushing guiltily, Ranma rubbed his neck and replied, "No, no, nothing's wrong...exactly. I just...umm…"

Sam cocked an eyebrow and mused, (And I thought Clover had a shitty poker-face) as she walked up to the obviously hiding something boy and gave him a stern, but not unkind look. "Ranma. What's going on?"

Ranma swallowed heavily and looked around nervously. "You-ahh...you know Clover?"

"I should, she's my best friend."

"Very funny." Ranma muttered at the redhead's dry response. Meeting her eyes, Ranma's tongue tied itself in a knot before he could continue their verbal sparring match, and he looked away from the pair of emeralds before coughing lightly and saying, "Clover-chan kinda...called me while you were in the shower and said…"

Sam's other eyebrow came up, trading places with it's partner as she regarded the unreasonably nervous, supposedly normal human being. "She said, what?" Her eyes narrowed. "Did she ask you out?"

"N-no...she said I should...ahh…" Ranma's eyes flicked to Sam's face, then away again as his cheeks reddened. "She kinda brought up...you."

"Me?" Sam tilted her head quizzically. "What about me?"

Another nervous cough and glance came from the pigtailed boy, and an idea suddenly came to Sam's mind that made her spine straighten and her eyes widen as she considered the nervous and embarrassed behavior of the boy in front of her, and her friend's beliefs regarding 'sharing'. "No...she  _didn't_."

"...yeah, she said it would be...okay with her."

There was a moment's silence. Then Ranma pressed himself flat against the wall as his novice student manifested a battle aura that wasn't quite up to Nerima standards, but was more than enough to scare the hell out of him as Sam growled, "And what did  **you**  say?"

"I-I didn't say anything! I was too surprised! And besides, I wouldn't do something like that with you even if Clover told me to!"

Sam's eyes bugged as Ranma's panicked barb lanced deep into her chest. Her anger dimmed due to shock, Sam couldn't keep the hurt out of her voice as she repeated, "You...you wouldn't?"

The emeralds were glimmering, and Ranma realized he'd fucked up somewhere, due to Samantha looking like she was winding up to either cry or punch him. (it could go either way in his experience) Panicking even more, Ranma waved his arms defensively in front of him and stammered, "Th-that's not what I meant! I didn't mean I wouldn't do this-and-that with you, 'cause I would, I just don't want Clover to say if I should-"

Ranma cut himself off, but too late as Sam caught his confession and shared his expression of utter shock. Slowly, the two teens cheeks reddened, and now Sam was averting her eyes from her sensei. Though she couldn't help but notice how he was tensed up like she was about to attack him. "What are…" Sam cleared her throat and ignored her burning cheeks. "What are you trying to say?"

It took a second for Ranma to realize he wasn't going to get brained by an angry girl, and was actually being given a chance to explain himself. After giving Sam a once-over and realizing that yes, she  _was_  in fact listening to him and not merely pretending to while she stewed in her own fury, Ranma swallowed heavily and made his first unrushed attempt at pulling his foot back out of his mouth.

"Clover said she'd be fine if we...you know, but she didn't give me a chance to say what I thought. I mean, I wouldn't  _mind_  if we had- _did something_  together, but I don't wanna do it right now because of all the problems' it'd 'cause. And I'm not gonna say you should do stuff with me because me and Clover want to. That's not fair to you, and honestly…" Ranma lowered his eyes, his voice turning solemn. "I've been on the receiving end of that for  _way_  too long. I wouldn't do that to someone else."

Sam, feeling more than mollified thanks to Ranma's explanation, was now regarding the pigtailed boy with sympathy and gratitude. She reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder, which prompted the boy to look up and see her soft smile. "Thanks for that, Ranma. I appreciate it."

A sudden urge, a vision flashed in Ranma's mind of moving in and kissing Sam full on the lips, but he killed that urge with extreme prejudice before it could get him into trouble. With a hesitant smile, he offered, "You're welcome, Sam. Sorry for...sayin' that."

"It's alright." Sam shook her head. Then her smile widened and she giggled. "Looks like I'm not the only one who needs a bit of training! Maybe we could make it a trade; you teach me how to kick ass, I teach you not to say the dumb things?"

"Hey!"

The redhead's giggling grew louder at Ranma's incensed bark, and despite the indignation, Ranma couldn't help but join in with her as the two shared a laugh.

-0-

"Good, good," Clover purred as she watched the 'happy couple' on her TV screen. "Now, just lean in, hug her a little bit, and let the magic begin."

Rather than following the playbook set out by Clover, or rather the one streaming across her mind, Ranma and Sam both shared a pair of relaxed smiles. Though their reddened cheeks made it obvious they were still thinking about the subject that had been brought up. " _So...are we good?"_

" _Yeah,"_  Sam replied honestly. " _We're good. And if we're being honest, Ranma, I thought about_ that  _too."_

Clover snickered as Ranma's eyes popped open. " _Y-You have?!"_

" _Only from a theoretical standpoint."_  Sam amended quickly, which drew an incredulous snort from the pair's unseen observer. " _And even if Clover was fine with it, I don't want to be someone's side-piece."_

At that, Clover groaned and shook her head. "Sammy, why are you blue-balling yourself? It's not like that-"

" _I wouldn't want that either."_

Clover blinked in surprise, which was an expression matched by Sam as Ranma gave the redhead a serious look. " _I know I screwed up, and nearly ruined my relationship with Clover and her friendship with Alex by cheating on her, but that wasn't normal for me. I got accused of stringing Akane along because of all the fiance's, not to mention the 'big-tittied redhead' before my curse was discovered, and just being treated like a cheater was bad enough even though I wasn't."_

Clover flinched guiltily while Sam grimaced.

" _I know how much it hurts when someone's bein' unfaithful, from both sides."_  Ranma noticed Sam's discomfort, and rubbed his neck as he offered in a conciliatory tone. " _What I'm tryin' to say is, I understand where you're comin' from. Even though the thing with Alex made stuff...complicated, I wouldn't have treated her like a dirty secret."_

" _I figured that,"_ Sam replied, trying to put some levity back into their conversation. " _Since you and Alex told Clover what happened the first chance you got."_  her attempt was apparently successful as Ranma chuckled, and Clover's heart fluttered at a re-affirmation that Ranma was a catch above-and-beyond all her expectations.

Then Samantha asked, " _What did Clover say to you, anyway?"_  and the blonde stiffened while her beau's amusement cut off with a gurgle. " _Since you don't want to keep secrets."_

"Oh no…" Clover whined as Ranma took the redhead's hit in his psychological weakspot, and after a moment of looking around, leaned in close to Samantha's ear. "This is totally gonna suck."

As Sam's eyes widened and her cheeks flushed a furious scarlet, Clover realized she'd awakened her latent gift for prophecy. But it was too little, and far too late.

00000

Jerry paused the recording, and turned his chair back around. "Do I even want to know?"

Samantha, standing at attention on the other side of Jerry's desk, twitched minutely and offered, "No. No, you do  _not_." while the blonde girl on her left looked away from her friend with an embarrassed expression, and the latina on her right groaned into her palm, which she'd dropped her face into.

Jerry sighed and gave Clover a stern look. "I will only say this once, Agent Manson. Further attempts to...encourage fraternization between Sam and Ranma will be met with harsh reprimands."

"Yeah, right." Clover muttered without looking at her boss. "What could you do that would be worse than what's happened already?"

"I have your mother on speed-dial."

The blonde snapped up in a straight-backed salute and fearfully shouted, "I'll be good!"

Sam and Alex snorted in amusement as Jerry dryly offered, "Glad to hear it." Before turning to the leader of the spy trio. "Now, Agent Samantha, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm...not sure there's more to say, Jerry." Sam replied with a shrug. "Me and Ranma talked about it, and we both agreed not to pursue a relationship."

"Do you believe you can maintain your professionalism with him?"

"Easily." Sam nodded, her voice full of confidence that she wasn't nearly as certain of on the inside. "And I can report that his training has shown a remarkable improvement already."

"So I hear." Jerry nodded to the girls as he added, "You are dismissed."

He watched as the trio walked away in that teenage silence that practically screamed words were going to be exchanged when the adults were no longer in earshot. Once they were out of sight, the spymaster tapped a button on his phone and waited a moment, before the caller on the other side picked up with a curious, " _Yes?"_

"Did you review the tape?"

" _Yes."_

Jerry smiled at the too-cool and collected voice on the other end of the line. "Care to renegotiate our terms, in light of this new information?"

A pause. " _Nope."_  Jerry blinked, but before he could speak, the now amused voice returned, " _Would_ you  _like to change the terms of our deal?"_

The aging Brit's eyes narrowed, and after a moment, he replied calmly, "Fine. In for a penny, I suppose."

" _Wonderful."_ Satisfaction oozed from person he'd called as they added, " _I'll inform the other interested parties right away."_  before hanging up.

-0-

"-can't believe you said that!"

"Oh lighten up, Sammy." Clover rolled her eyes at the huffing redhead as they made their way home, now back in the brighter world and away from the many ears and eyes of G.L.A.D.I.S. and WOOHP HQ. "You are in dire need of a deep-dicking and we  _all_  know that Ranma is  _up_  for the task."

Samantha and Alex blushed, the latter squeaking out, "Clover!" as she looked around fearfully for eavesdroppers, and the former kept her angry glare focused on the blase blonde.

"Whether he's up for it is  _not_  the goddamn point, Clover!" Sam not-shouted at her friend. "I've got more respect for myself than being someone's booty-call, even if he is-"

"-a hot as hell, hung-like-a-horse sweetheart in DIRE need of some TLC?" Clover interrupted, smiling slyly as Sam's face grew even redder. "It's not about being a booty-call or a side-piece, Sammy. Do you think for a minute that Ranma would call you up for a date or some 'Netflix and chill' just because I wasn't available? Or he'd do it without asking me first?" Clover snickered to herself. "Trust me, if I'm so busy that I can't spare some time for a quick rodeo when he needs it, you'd be doing me a  _big_  favor!"

"STILL not the point, Clover!" Sam snapped angrily. "I don't want to be a spare tire to someone else's relationship!"

Clover cocked an eyebrow at Sam, while Alex offered in a paranoid, embarrassed whisper, "So, you mean you wouldn't want to...share?"

" **No."**

Alex eep'ed at Sam's low growl, and the redhead internally berated herself for kicking a metaphorical puppy while Clover shot her a disapproving glare. "It's not...sharing, that I have a problem with, Alex." Sam amended in an apologetic tone. "I mean, the idea is a little weird to me, so I can't say if I'd want to do it or not right now. But what I  _do_  know," The redhead's voice firmed as she returned Clover's harsh look. "Is I want a real relationship of my own, and not one where I have to  _borrow_  someone else's boyfriend."

Clover eye'd her friend for a few moments, nodding and offering a conciliatory, "That's like, pretty fair. But just the same," the blonde gave a Cheshire cat grin. "If you do take the Wild Horse for a ride, don't feel bad about it, 'cause I've already given my blessing!"

Sam's eye twitched as the irritation with her friend returned. Shifting tracks for a moment, Sam sniffed haughtily and tossed out, "And  _where_  are we supposed to do something like that? WOOHP still has cameras on his house."

"But not  _yours~_."

Clover's sing-songy tone earned her looks of wide-eye'd shock, and she bit back the urge to cackle wickedly as she added, "He's training you at your house too, right? Getting all  _hot_  and  _sweaty_ , watching his muscles flex-"

"I got it!" Sam waved her hand, cutting off Clover before too much of the blondes train of thought jumped the rails into her own mind. "Even if WOOHP isn't monitoring my house, and that's a BIG 'if', my parents sure as hell are, and there's no way I could have sex with Ranma without them finding out!"

"That's why you wait until they're gone." Clover gave the redhead a look that said Sam was being dense. "Like, duh Sammy."

Sam snorted incredulously. "Yeah, like my mom would leave me alone with Ranma, considering what happened with you two."

00000

Sam stared at the note in her shaking hand. A simple piece of paper which filled her with dread, yet brought a rising feeling of excitement she couldn't deny even as she stared incredulously at the neatly flowing, familiar handwriting.

[Sorry Sammy, had to go out of town with your father, won't be back until tomorrow! Have fun practicing your self-defense with Ranma, be safe, and don't do anything I wouldn't do! Love you lots-Mom]

(Why did I tempt fate like that?) Sam moaned to herself, remembering all too clearly the conversation she had with Clover on Monday, following the blonde dropping a tactical nuke on the delicate situation between her and Ranma. The knowledge that they were both attracted to each other had made things awkward between Samantha and her  _sensei_ , but they'd managed to discuss and practice further moves without fumbling too many of their conversations. Now here she was, less than a week later and staring at a sure sign that some higher power had a grudge against her as she continued to stare at the damning piece of paper. (Mom  _knows_  what happened to Clover and Alex, and that I don't think Ranma's a bad guy anymore! Maybe it's a sign that she trusts me?)

Sam shook her head and stuck the note in her pocket, her expression firming as she declared, "I can do this. It's just exercise, and I've resisted the temptation until now. We'll do some reflex training and some meditation, and things will be fine."

Something about the last statement rang false in Sam's mind, but before she could parse it out, the sound of her doorbell ringing broke her out of her thoughts. She almost bolted for the door, before curbing her ill-advised excitement and calming herself down with a few deep breaths, then resuming her trek at a more leisurely pace. The redhead opened the door and greeted the pigtailed teen standing on her doorstep with a polite smile and a cheery, "Hey, Ranma."

"Hey, Sammy." Ranma replied with an easy-going grin that made his student's heart flip-flop. "You limbered up and ready?"

Sam blinked. "Limbered up?"

"Yeah, for sparring. It's Friday, remember?"

Sam's jaw dropped as she finally figured out what part of her earlier comment had been false; today wasn't going to be reflex training and meditation, but full-contact mock-fighting, which meant she was going to be all up in Ranma's personal space for the better part of an hour, if not more.

Once again bemoaning her fate, while a small traitorous part of her psyche squealed with glee, Sam smiled weakly and said, "Y-yeah...I forgot. Just give me a minute, and I'll be ready for you- _ready to spar_."

Blushing at her slip of the tongue, Sam stepped aside and told herself once again, (You can handle this)

00000

Samantha was not Alex.

Samantha did not get hot and bothered by exercise.

She was not turned on by the racing heart, greater body heat, and adrenaline rush from athleticism that was possibly a throwback to man's primal days when such things were indicative of hunting wild animals. (and the 'celebrations' after successful hunts)

However, exercising in close proximity to a very attractive member of the male sex, spending a lot of time holding his arms, pressing skin to skin, and inadvertently feeling his muscles under his loose  _gi_  was sure as shit able to get her motor running. And it didn't help that Sam was constantly running through the fact that she and Ranma were all alone for several hours, and there was nothing stopping the two of them from committing hanky-panky except themselves.

All this was running through Sam's head as the warm shower water rinsed off the sweat from her and Ranma's training, which hadn't been  _nearly_  draining enough for her liking, because she could have used sore muscles as a way to assuage her hormones.

The fingers of her left hand clenched against the tile just underneath the showerhead while she gritted her teeth, trying desperately to banish the memories of Alex and Ranma in the school shower, and will her right hand to hold still while it resolutely slid across her stomach and towards her groin.

(I am not Alex.) Sam thought, breathing heavily as the image of Alex's face, flushed with pleasure and moaning loudly as Ranma's dick sank further into her pussy filled the redhead's mind and her fingers reached the top of her landing strip. (I am not Alex, and I am not Clover. I can handle this, and I will not do anything with Ranma.)

She gritted her teeth. The somewhat grainy image of Ranma cumming across Alex's brown ass was replaced by the better-angled, and much clearer picture afforded by Caitlyn's camera as strings of gooey cum painted her friends cheeks. (I am  _better_  than this!)

Her fingers hovered, millimeters above her clitoral hood while the urge to call Ranma's name, either in orgasmic bliss or for him to share the shower with her loosened Sam's vocal chords.

With a grunt of effort, Sam straightened up and bit back a snarl as she slapped her flushed cheeks and glared furiously into the middle distance. (I think Ranma's hot, but  **I** can control myself, and I'm not gonna finger-fuck myself while he's in my house, waiting for me to get out so he can get cleaned up too!)

Sighing with frustration, Sam tilted her head back and let the water flow across her face, pointedly ignoring the streams running down her inner-thighs which she knew weren't all from the shower itself.

-0-

Ranma wasn't the kind of guy to pace back-and-forth, but he was doing so now. Mostly, it was because he didn't want to sit down somewhere on Sam's nice furniture and leave behind embarrassing sweat stains. But it was also because he was nervous and excited by the sign that his training of Sam was going very well. Even better than he'd hoped.

Unfortunately, that sign was the fact that his student had been giving off an almost palpable  _ki_ aura since they started sparring. What made it more nerve-wracking than terrifying for Ranma was that her aura hadn't been one of fighting spirit or anger. One of those would challengingly buffet against an opponent, and the other could be blistering in it's intensity. But the spiritual energy coming off of his student had  _carressed_  his body, even as she traded punches and kicks with him.

Ranma shuddered as he remembered the incident with Happosai, the Ultimate Weakness Moxibustion, and the Hiryu Shoten-Ha. He'd improvised at the time, assuming that a martial artist as powerful as the old pervert could give off an aura based on some other emotion, and that lust would be as much of a heat effect as anger. When his theory had been proven correct, he'd been excited at the chance to beat the freak and fix the Moxibustion, but had been utterly horrified by how Happosai's aura had fondled her body, even though he'd kept the old man as far away from him as possible, at least physically.

Now, his current student and best chance for a new life away from the madness of Nerima was bare-ass naked in the next room, after spending an hour and a half inadvertently groping him and giving Ranma a severe case of cold sweats as he'd been forced to channel the Soul of Ice several times while they were sparring.

Among the many many thoughts that raced through the pig-tailed boy's head was the fact that there were only three explanations for why Sam had such a powerful lust aura during their training. The first option, was that he was training some kind of ki prodigy who was rapidly reaching a level that could challenge Happosai or Granny, and he had a feeling he wasn't that lucky. The second option, was that his training was so good, Sam was already capable of manifesting battle-aura's of a scope that was equal to any Nerimite. While good for his ego, Ranma reluctantly had to admit that probably wasn't the case.

Which left option three. That Sam had spent the entire time they were sparring thinking about this-and-that, probably with him, and had been as ungodly horny as Alex when he and the latina had their tryst. If not moreso.

(But why?) Ranma asked himself as he spared at look at the closed door to Sam's bathroom. (I mean, I know Clover-chan said Sam liked me, and Sam admitted it, but I didn't think she was  _that_  hot for me! Is that why I had so many girls chasing after me? I thought it was just because of honor, Amazon law, and just being crazy as hell!)

Ranma shivered again, but this time from the residual effects of spending a long time in close proximity to an ephemeral aura of 'Do me now!', which had come from a girl he had to admit was very attractive and he'd be more of a liar... _almost_  as much of a liar as his old man if he said he didn't want her too.

The remainder of his internal musings ended with a *click* as the bathroom door swung open, and he stilled as Sam walked out, dressed in a far more casual outfit than her gi; a green blouse and hip-hugging blue-jeans that he had to admit, fit her  _very_  well.

Ranma shook his head quickly, hoping Sam didn't notice his staring as she thumbed over her shoulder and said, "All yours, have at it."

Noticing that the lust aura was gone, Ranma smiled in relief as he nodded in acceptance and said, "Thanks, Sam." Even though a traitorous part of his mind gave him a very lewd and descriptive idea as to why pure desire wasn't rolling off of her in waves anymore.

What Ranma didn't realize as he walked past the redhead, was that there was something in the single-minded focus of personal combat, either practiced or simulated, that allowed a person's aura to manifest more clearly, not simply create one on the spot. Which is why he had no idea that the randy redhead who's shower he was borrowing was even more hot and bothered than before.

-0-

Lo Xion, formerly of the Joketsuzoku, before dropping the tribe like a bad habit when a husband hunt had brought her to a land where indoor plumbing wasn't considered a luxury, looked out her window in a mixture of amusement and awe. The 150 year-old crone reached for a smartphone, a gift from her great-granddaughter last Christmas, and selected the most appropriate number.

After a few rings, the other end of the line clicked and a thick, panting voice gasped, " _Yeah?"_

"Hello, little one." The ancient Amazon replied happily. "Sorry to bother you, but I had a question."

" _What's that, Grandmother?"_

"Do you live on the north side of town?"

There was a pause. " _Uh...no? Why?"_

Looking out her window at the pink haze rising into the air somewhere off in the distance, giving the impression of a miniature Aurora Borealis, Lo Xion smiled and replied slyly, "No reason, my dear. No reason at all."

" _Right, okay."_ the woman on the other end of the line replied shortly. " _Nice talkin' to ya granny, but I gotta go-"_

"Why?" The old woman answered, her voice full of innocent amusement, though she'd already gleaned the reason for the very  _particular_  way her descendent's voice was coming out in heavy, ragged breaths and was internally giggling at teasing her great-granddaughter a little. "What- _ever_  could you be in the middle of that means more than talking with your sweet old granny?"

The sound of grinding teeth was clearly audible through the connection as Donna realized her Great Grandmother knew exactly what she was up to, before the worthy inheritor to the title of Amazon roared into the phone, " _A DEEP GODDAMN DICKING, YOU OLD HAG! Now shut up and let me enjoy this!"_

With that, the phonecall ended and the old woman threw her head back and cackled madly, already anticipating training her Great-Great grandchildren when they came of age, hopefully sooner rather than later.

00000

Ranma left the shower, sighing heavily as he felt the muscles finish unwinding and the last of the tension flow out of him. He strolled through Sam's house, headed for the front door, and paused when he caught sight of Sam sitting on the living room couch. "Hey, Sam."

Samantha smiled, stifling any other outward sign of her appreciation for her freshly showered sensei as she returned his greeting. "Hey, Ranma. Everything squared away?"

"Yep." Ranma nodded before continuting his trek. "I'll head home now, but I'll see you-"

"Umm, Ranma? Could you wait a minute?"

Ranma stopped in mid-stride and turned towards Sam, who had risen off the couch and had cherry-cheeked, embarrassed expression on her face. "I was wondering if...you wanted to watch a movie? Now that we're done training?"

Normally, Ranma wouldn't have given the redhead's shyness a second thought. But thanks to getting the chance to closely inspect the particularly rosy shade of her cheeks over the last hour, Ranma knew damn good and well that Sam was turned on, and his heart started racing in response to her question and her continued attraction. "Ahh, are you sure that's okay? I mean, WOOHP said-"

"They said they don't trust Alex or Clover being alone with you-I mean, that  _they_  might try something." Sam amended quickly, while asking herself what in the hell she thought she was doing. "But that's not an issue with me. I mean, I know you won't do anything, so it'd be fine for us to hang out, off-the-books...right?"

The irony and synchronicity of Sam's excuses, which were in the same vein as Clover's ' _just kissing'_  or Alex's ' _only once isn't cheating'_ , was not lost on her or Ranma. Both of them made a point of trying (and failing) to ignore the similarities, and neither commented on them, while Ranma gave a small swallow and smiled weakly. "What...movie were you thinking of?"

Sam smiled, giddy and reassuring herself that this totally-not-half-baked plan to 'immunize' herself to Ranma's presence was going to work swimmingly, replied, "It's one of my favorites, The Princess Bride. Do you know it?"

Ranma's eye twitched and his smile became strained as a night of debauchery flashed through his head at the familiar title. "Y-yeah. Good choice."

00000

In any normal circumstances, a PG-13 fantasy rom-com would easily quell the rising fires of two hormonally challenged teens.

Well, unless said teens were really, really horny. And they weren't alone.  _And_  they couldn't go to another room- _ **fine**_ , The Princess Bride would be as useful for stopping teenagers from having sex as a bra designed for a frog! You happy!?

The point is, even if such a film  _might_  turn a young couple off in certain circumstances, Ranma and Sam had bypassed the chance of that happening  _long_ ago, though not intentionally.

Sam was making a careful point of not looking at Ranma. Instead, she focused on the movie instead of the way the pigtailed boy filled out the light blue silk shirt, or the way his hair dark hair and grey-blue eyes caught the light in just the right way to make her heart race.

As the redhead shook her head and forcefully glared at the movie, she vehemently denied the fact that her plan to 'immunize' herself to Ranma's presence was in any way failing. As Inigo began fighting the Dread Pirate Roberts, she squirmed a little, being unable to deny the slight ache in her loins due to her earlier denial of self-love in the shower. What made it all the worse for her was that she knew this movie inside and out, and the visual of an epic sword-fight couldn't brush away the nagging images in the back of her mind, showing her a veritable flipbook of Ranma's impressive physical assets.

Ranma swallowed heavily at the light clanging of steel-on-steel, which didn't drown out the wanton moaning in his ear.

He was looking at the fighters, who were moving so glacially slow in comparison to a real sword fight that he wanted to laugh, but all he could  _see_  was a pair of half-lidded, amber colored eyes, looking back at him with a deep, unyielding lust.

While Ranma tried to acknowledge the reality of sitting in the home, on the couch of his redheaded student, watching a movie with absolutely no ulterior motives or sexual undertones regarding the girl he was teaching the Anything Goes style to; his head was denying that reality and substituting its own. One where he was sitting on the couch in his apartment, with his girlfriend snoozing blissfully next to him while a passionate latina frantically rode his manhood in an effort to get him off, while the same background noise of Inigo and Roberts quipping back-and-forth droned on.

Ranma had taken to crossing his leg, trying to cover up how turned on he was, as this was not the time or place to get a hard-on, despite the fact that Samantha had admitted she would be  _amenable_  to such a situation. But his erection was being rubbed by his pants, mostly because he couldn't stop tapping his foot due to the stress of reliving his tryst with Alex, while not being anywhere  _near_  Alex and unable to vacate the area without arousing- _attracting_  suspicion or being rude.

Then, when he'd been forced back by a renewed assault from the spaniard, the masked pirate grinned and quipped, " _I'm not left-handed."_

Suddenly, Ranma could taste Alex's tongue and felt her lips pressed against his, and at the exact same moment, her body trembled and inner-walls tightened around his manhood as he came deep inside her.

"Okay! Okay, I think that's enough!"

Sam jerked up, shocked out of her internal wrestling match due to her sensei's panicked shout and suddenly sitting bolt upright. "What?!" she shook her head clear quickly and intentionally focusing on Ranma. "What's enough!?"

Ranma looked at Samantha, seeing her in a casual pose and dress, not even trying to be sexy even though his mind was now taking the memories of Alex and layering them over the top of the green-eye'd redhead. He shuddered briefly, fighting back the hormones that were begging for relief as he brought an end to their casual movie watching by shakily declaring, "I just remembered something I gotta do! I'll pause it here, we can finish it some other time!" before reaching for the remote, almost desperate to shut off the sounds that were playing merry hell with his desires.

Sam caught the obvious lie and her eyes narrowed suspiciously, thinking that he'd heard or spotted something dangerous and was about to clear the area. In a split-second, she was reaching for the remote as well, and asking seriously, "What're you talking about? Is there something outside-"

Ranma grabbed the remote, and Sam's hand enveloped his a half-second later.

The two teens froze at the skin-to-skin contact, and realized that their over-extension had brought their faces less than a foot away from each other.

Samantha felt Ranma's knuckles against the soft skin of her palm, and the urge to jump his bones returned with a vengeance, while his finger unwittingly touched the power button. The TV screen went black and Sam found herself without a distraction anymore, not from her imagination and lustful thoughts towards the pigtailed boy. And not from the very obvious tent being pitched in Ranma's pants.

Silence fell between the pair as Sam stared at Ranma's groin, and he stared at her while she gaped at his manhood. She raised her eyes and met Ranma's gaze, finding him staring at her with an expression that said he felt the exact same way as she did right now. Shocked. Dumbstruck. Nervous.

And intensely,  _maddeningly_  turned on.

Stormy bits of grey-blue formed a connection with emerald green, and time slowed to crawl as the two teens realized what had been building between them for the past several days, and had risen to even greater heights in the last few hours. Their eyes flickered briefly, each of them tracing the features of the other, knowing the person staring at them had a mental landscape that was filled with images of them performing many many lewd and erotic acts.

What came next was somewhat confusing, though easily explained through a totally scientific phenomenon. Somewhere out there, an amateur juggler walked into a mad scientist's lab and started tossing around test tubes filled with pink balls.

And when the first sample of 'Chronitons' slipped from his grasp and fell to the floor, time skipped like a needle on a record player, and Ranma suddenly found Sam pressed tightly against his body. Her hard nipples were poking into his bare chest and her hand was death-gripping the back of his head, keeping his face against hers while she frantically tried to taste every inch of his mouth, and he returned the favor in kind. In a brief half-second of clarity, Ranma wondered where the hell his shirt and her blouse disappeared to.

The juggler, panicked from the first slip up, fumbled and sent another test tube flying through the air. As it smashed into the ground, Sam's eyes snapped open in shock. Then they closed again as Ranma's lips found a sweet-spot on her neck, bringing a moan from her lips while her squirming legs aided the pigtailed boys efforts in pulling her pants and underwear down her thighs.

As more and more chroniton's dropped, time continued to skip like a woodpecker on speed, leaving the two teenagers with only the dimmest flashes of what was occurring, while the rest of the world went blissfully unaware of the very personalized cracks forming in the time-space continuum.

-0-

Clover chewed her pen, eyes looking off into the distance while Alex sat on the blonde's bed, keeping her nose buried in the textbook the pair were supposed to be studying from. With a small sigh, Clover asked, "Hey, Alex? What do you think Ranma's doing right now?"

Alex looked up, blinking quizzically at the non-sequitor. "Umm...training Sammy?"

"That was awhile ago." Clover corrected her friend gently. The blonde gave a small sigh and her lip quivered theatrically. "He must be so  _lonely_  without me…"

Alex snickered at Clover's over-dramatic sorrow and replied, "He's fine, Clover. Afterall, he has us to call if he needs some company-"

The latina let out an 'eep' and blushed as her friend let out a loud laugh. "That's not what I meant!"

"You so sure about that?" Clover waggled her eyebrows meaningfully, which made Alex even more embarrassed. With a sigh that was less miserable, Clover admitted reluctantly, "Yeah, you're right. If he needs someone to talk to, he'll call up one of us." Then the blonde gave her friend a wicked grin as she cheerfully added, "And with any luck, Sammy's gonna be helping us make sure Ranma doesn't feel lonely!"

Alex gasped and let out a series of giggles while Clover laughed loudly at her own joke.

-0-

Ranma could be called many things, but philosophical was not among them. Heady issues like the nature of the universe didn't hold any appeal to him, though he had to admit, he was  _very_  curious why his mind was apparently slipping in and out of awareness seemingly at random, or the universe suddenly became a VCR with a sticky fast forward button.

In one moment, he was trying to call it a night before his memories of Alex put him in an embarrassing and awkward situation with Samantha.

The next moment, he was fiercely making out with a firey, topless redhead who was acting like his tongue was made of chocolate.

Then he was naked and on his knees, looking down at the curve of Samantha's bare ass and her athletic back, because she was on her hands and knees in front of him and he was holding her head between his hands while forcefully thrusting his cock into her mouth.

Philosophically speaking, Ranma was very,  _very_  curious about what was going on.

Practically speaking, he groaned in pleasure as Sam's tongue slithered under his pole, until her soft lips were wrapped around the base of his shaft and the swollen head of his prick was being squeezed by the muscles of her throat.

There was a twinge of guilt and worry, as it seemed to Ranma that he was being too rough with the girl who was pleasuring him. But when he withdrew prick enough for Sam to do something other than gag, all he heard from her were needy, eager moans that sent tingling vibrations down his shaft. Realizing that Samantha was a far from unwilling face-fuckee, philosophical Ranma took a hike and left control to practical Ranma, who focused the fact that he was getting his dick sucked by a beautiful redhead and settled back to enjoy the experience.

With a shudder of bliss, Ranma amended his previous statement as the churning in his balls made it clear he was almost done enjoying Sam's oral skills and ready to show his appreciation by giving her a salty reward. Showing the benefits of practical thinking versus philosophical, Ranma made the pragmatic decision to enjoy the brief moment of clear-headedness and pressed his twitching sack against Sam's chin as he let go. The rush of ecstasy and relief was intensified as Samantha responded to the jets of cum flying down her throat by sucking on his length with wet slurps, sending shocks through Ranma's loins and making him moan her name as she swallowed his cum without any hesitation.

-0-

Carmen rolled her eyes in a way that was exasperated and amused as Stella stepped away from her daughter's bedroom door, eyes narrowed in a way that said she was disappointed by whatever she'd overheard their children talking about. "Told you they wouldn't do anything."

"No," Stella admitted defensively. "But they  _want_  to."

Carmen cocked an eyebrow. "Really? Well then, maybe we should give them some time alone-"

"Not funny!" Stella snapped quietly, not willing to alert Clover and Alex to the fact that she had been eavesdropping on them. "They're talking about doing things with  _him_!"

"Oh? Still holding a candle then?" Carmen smiled. "Good. I can think of so many worse first boyfriends for my little girl."

Stella glared at the older latina. "He's  _Clover's_  boy-" she snapped her mouth shut and ground out. "He  **was**  with Clover. Why aren't you more concerned about this?"

Carmen gave a small sigh and gave the blonde a solemn look. "Stella, like it or not, Clover and Alex needed this, or something close to it. Better they learn how to spot the good guys from the bad ones while they're young, not later in life when it'll hurt them more."

"He  _cheated_  on my little girl! With your daughter!"

"And confessed." Stella stated with a stern look. "That very night and the next day, where Ranma told 'your little girl' that it was with some random slut so she wouldn't lose her friendship with my daughter. Would you rather he strung Clover along for months and have her find out when some floozy showed up at her front door looking for her baby-daddy?"

Stella paled, before her face flushed and twisted furiously. "You did  _not_  just go there!"

"Ranma isn't Norton, Stella." Carmen snapped, making the blonde flinch even as she growled angrily. "He's more honest than that scumbag ever was, and we  _warned_  you he was bad news."

Stella almost shouted at her friend, but couldn't get the words past the lump in her throat. She blinked back tears and looked away from her friend, eventually closing her eyes when Carmen patted her on the shoulder.

"You know better now, but you're also jumping the gun. Trust me and Gabby, Stel; Ranma will do right by our girls." The older latina smiled cheekily. "Besides, if he does screw-up, we can do the same thing we did to Norton and put him in traction."

Stella couldn't help but give a small chuckle at that.

-0-

Sam noticed the temporal disturbances as well, though her perspective was rather different than Ranma's. For one thing, she was more inclined to focus on the why's and how's of a situation rather than asking how they applied to her presently. The other difference was that she suddenly 'woke up' between one moment and the next to find Ranma's tongue replaced with an iron hard pole of flesh jammed between her lips, which sent her philosophical self into a panic wonder what the hell was going on.

Rather than secede control to practicality, Samantha's more inquisitive self was so confused that her body was left to run on bare instinct. Said instinct promptly shut down her gag-reflex and slid the index and middle fingers of her right hand deep into her pussy, with the same pace and timing that her nose was being buried in Ranma's sparse pubes.

Then Ranma's dick swelled, spreading Sam's lips further apart and making her internal self freeze in shock. (Oh no! No, no, no, no, no;  _please_  tell me he's not-!)

There was a twitch through Ranma's shaft at the same time the head of his dick was lodged somewhere near her tonsils, and a thick burst of hot goo hit the back of her throat. The realization that Ranma had face-fucked her to completion made Sam's internal mind shudder in disgust and wail, (Oh my God! He's cumming in my  **mouth!**  Oh, Ew-ew-ew-ew-!)

The redhead's conscious mind blinked in surprise as she felt her physical body warm with greater desire from having a load of sperm coat the interior of her neck. Said aspect of Sam's personality then gaped slack-jawed as she cleared the sticky blockage with a loud gulp, and was stunned senseless when her tongue tenderly rubbed the swollen vein running underneath the length of Ranma's dick, clearly encouraging him to give her everything as his dick spat more gobs of warm cream down her throat.

(I'm...swallowing?) Sam's internal self refused to consciously go with the flow, which only made her disconnect more pronounced when another obvious swallow sent more of the viscous, heavy-scented fluid into her belly. (How the hell am I swallowing? Cum feels gross and tastes even worse! Is it because I can't taste it?)

Another blast of off-white paint for her palate was cleared away, and Sam's internal confusion gave way to self-deprecation as she groaned, (Oh, why the  _hell_  did I suck Ranma off? It's totally degrading and he's gonna think I'm a slut!)

Further recriminations were halted as Samantha heard her name, and very briefly, her conscious mind took over control of her body again. The situation hadn't changed; Ranma's sack was still clenching against her chin as another shot was sent through his dick and into her mouth, but her awareness was different as she stared at Ranma's toned groin. Slowly, her eyes traveled upwards, along his abs and upper body, until she was looking at his face. The sight of Ranma, a damn near bonafide superhuman looking down at her with flushed cheeks and a damn near perfect O-face brought a feeling of pride and happiness to Sam, and she started to reconsider her stance that being on the giving end of a blowjob was the weaker of the two positions.

The idea that sucking dick was  _far_  more dominating than it seemed at first gained some credibility when she consciously tucked into the remainder of Ranma's release, as the pigtailed boy moaned her name a second time while she imbibed in a salty, protein-rich snack. Feeling like she'd rocked Ranma's world, the corners of Sam's lips quirked up and she thought (Actually, I don't think he's gonna look down on me for this  _at all~._ )

Further affirmations that giving head didn't immediately qualify for an 'easy slut' license ended with another time skip, and Sam found her mouth suddenly unoccupied. This was both a pro and a con, though the redhead couldn't spare the brainpower to decide which was which, since she was currently using her empty mouth to scream bloody fucking murder at the top of her lungs.

Sparking zaps were racing out from her loins, locking up her muscles and making her back arch like a parenthesis, while her pussy spasmed and seized between her legs. Eyes wide and staring at the ceiling, Sam's analytical mind shrieked in tandem with her body, but for very different reasons.

(Oh my God, I'm cumming! I'm  _cumming!?_   Why am I cumming?! Ranma just blew his load in my mouth! Why am I cumming-)

A sudden flick against her clit sent a bolt of fire up Sam's core, and her scream cut off with a gasp as she hunched over, teeth gritted as her stomach and chest burned in a way that she prayed would never stop. With great effort, she opened her eyes and everything became crystal clear, due to seeing Ranma's closed eyes just underneath her landing strip of light red pubic hair.

As more wet flicks against her clit made Sam's hips buck, her other senses registered the finer details of current circumstances. Namely that she was on her knees with Ranma's head between her legs, and her hands were death-gripping the wooden frame of her bedroom door. When all the evidence was put together, she could only theorize that she hadn't even waited to make it to her bed after guzzling Ranma's spunk before jumping him and riding his face for all she was worth.

Question satisfied and then some, Sam trembled as she looked down at the boy who was eating her out like she tasted like ice cream, and gave a weak smile as she thought with a giddy sort of calm, (Oh... _that's_  why I'm cumming.)

Then Ranma's tongue pulled away from her clit, and a sudden blast of cold air against her sensitive nub bent Samantha's back like a capital C while her body spasmed in renewed release, and she strained her vocal chords to the limit screaming Ranma's name as long and loud as she possibly could.

-0-

Gabriella Simpson stepped out of the hotel bathroom, dressed in a see-through, spaghetti strap, dark-green nightie. She grinned widely at her lover's reaction, which was everything she expected from him after 20 years of marriage. " _Hello~_ handsome."

"Hello yourself." Roger Simpson replied, his hard-on swelling at the sight of his lustful wife as he lay back on the bed with his hands behind his head. Running his eyes up and down her body, he murmured, "Still as beautiful as the day we met."

"And you're still just as handsome." Gabby replied as she strolled slowly towards her husband, hip-rolling seductively for his benefit.

Roger watched his wife approach, before that same worry that had flared up occasionally came to the fore again. Despite himself and the situation, he asked, "Gabby? Before we get going, are you sure Sammy's gonna be okay?"

Gabriella sighed as she reached the foot of the bed. "Trust me, baby; I vetted Ranma thoroughly. He's the best self-defense instructor I could find, and he wouldn't  _dream_  of hurting Sammy." smiling sultrily as she lowered herself onto the bed and began crawling towards her husband on all fours, she murmured silkily, "Samantha's a smart girl. I know she'll be safe."

-0-

When Ranma returned to awareness again, he was still smiling proudly from hearing Samantha scream his name and could still taste her juices on his lips, a strangely sweet and musky flavor that was  _far_  from unpleasant.

Then other things became more important than yet another mark in his column for having a  _dan_  ranking in pussy eating. Like the feeling of wrinkled cloth under his knees, and the delicate, smooth skinned ankles he was holding in each hand, and the unmistakable feeling of a woman's welcoming sheathe around his bare prick as his hips lunged forward and brought a familiar sounding moan of delight.

Ranma groaned in pleasure and disbelief, this time from the renewed debate inside his mind versus asking 'why' or 'now what', since he'd obviously crossed the line between fidelity and infidelity yet again, and with his own student no less. Just as before, practically minded Ranma insisted he stay the course since Clover had already given permission, he was enjoying himself  _far_  too much to stop now, and more importantly; Sam was a  _very_  willing partner in their dance.

All control surrendered to the part of him that lived 'in the moment', Ranma looked Samantha, who was laying on her bed, completely exposed to his eyes since he was holding her legs open like he was getting ready to make a wish. At this moment though, any wish would have gone to waste, since he giving a surprisingly passionate redhead the most vigorous sex of her life. Despite his frustrating lack of control, Ranma couldn't help but be mesmerized by Sam's reactions to their lovemaking. The way her body quivered and she gave the tiniest of half-gasps when he bottomed out brought a smile to his lips and his practical mind insisted that he could see more if he made  _damn_  sure she enjoyed herself as much as he was, which lead to his next few thrusts being extra forceful so he could make her orgasmic tells more pronounced.

Sam wanted to be upset. She really,  _really_  did.

Giving a blowjob to, having her pussy eaten by, and finally having sex with Ranma Saotome, a master martial artist who was supposed to be her teacher and thus  **beyond**  off-limits should have made her outraged beyond belief. The fact that she was doing  _exactly_  what she'd read Clover the riot act over, who was  _still_  technically Ranma's girlfriend,  _should_  have made the redhead so angry she'd want to slap some sense into herself.

But at the moment, Sam's intellectual side was bound and gagged in corner while she focused on how she could  _feel_  the ridge of Ranma's crown rubbing against her G-spot with every descent and withdrawal, and she was stretching out her vocal chords in preparation for a swiftly approaching orgasmic opera. When his tempo changed, becoming more forceful and determined, any and all thoughts of regret and hesitation were swept away as she waves of pleasure seized control of her muscles and she began her aria of ecstasy.

Ranma smiled widely, thoroughly proud of himself as Samantha made up for all the breaths that had been catching in her throat by letting loose a wordless moan that gradually rose in pitch and volume. The movement of her heaving breasts caught his eye and Ranma couldn't help but watch in fascination and rising arousal while Sam's teardrop-shaped, C-cup breasts bounced with his increasingly forceful motions, the strawberry-red nipples jumping in time with reverbs in her vocal performance.

Sam was hitting the crescendo, her inner walls spasming as they vainly tried to entrap the hot iron bar pistoning into her body. One last gasp of air as the waves crested, and the redhead wailed her lover's name in pre-climactic gratitude.

A flash of green brought Ranma's attention away from Sam's chest.

He looked up and found himself looking into the half-lidded eyes of a woman on the verge of orgasm and suddenly hit him. It truly struck home where he was, what he was doing,  _who_  he was doing, and found himself thunderstruck.

Time slowed down as Ranma's eyes lowered, running along Sam's body while he came to grips with the fact that their relationship had been altered from 'master-student' to ' _a girl I screwed silly until she soaked her bedsheets'_. From her beautiful face, along the smooth curve of her neck. Down her chest and then across the undulating muscles of her stomach, with a brief pause to wonder if her abs had been as well-defined before his training, until he finished his visual inspection at the junction of Sam's legs.

He watched as his shaft moved in and out of the redhead's sex, saw the gleam of her natural lubricant along his prick thanks to the dim light of her bedroom before burying himself and feeling her nether-lips wrapped around the base of his dick. Fully imbedded, he could feel her fluids dripping off his sack and the pre-cum dripping from his cock, and knew the building tension in his groin meant he was ready to snap and release a flood of male essence into Samantha's depths.

That was the moment practical Ranma tallied up all the facts, and realized something very important.

He was having sex with Samantha.

He wasn't wearing a rubber.

He was close to cumming.

And he didn't know if she was safe.

Sam's eyes squeezed shut as her orgasm hit, and she gave a wordless howl of joy as her back arched like a strung bow, hard enough to press the top of her head against the bed. As her walls instinctively squeezed and tightened around the pigtailed boy's shaft, she  _prayed_  it felt as good for him being buried inside her pussy as it did for her to be stuffed to the brim with his dick.

Philosophical Ranma had beelined back towards the pilot seat when practical Ranma started panicking, but stumbled when the sudden tightening and pulling sensation of Samantha's velvet glove sent a bolt of pleasure rocketing through his body. He shuddered as the charge started, and his more deep thinking side sprinted the rest of the way while time continued to move a pace that made it feel like like his jism was  _crawling_  it's way through his manhood. Slowly and inexorably his seed made it's way down the final lap, while his philosophical self found his practical side in a stammering mess, since at the moment, there was nothing stopping his student-Clover's best friend- _his_  friend from possibly being impregnated by him.

The two sides of himself put their heads together to come up with a plan. But then, a third figure emerged from the recesses of Ranma's mind. The newcomer looked like a burly, middle-aged man in a dirty karate  _gi_  with a bandana covering his bald head, wearing a pair of wire-frame glasses that were held on by strings around his ears rather than earpieces.

Practical and philosophical Ranma gaped at this portly figment of his psyche, as it smiled in a lazy, 'cest la vie' manner and opined, ' _Samantha's a responsible girl, so she's probably on the pill.'_

Ranma's cock throbbed and hardened, preparing to deliver his sperm into his lover's unprotected womb.

The figure strolled forward, it's gait slow and self-assured as if offered with what it believed was inherently superior reasoning, ' _And besides, it feels_ really  _good when you stay inside, doesn't it? For her and you! Didn't Clover and Alex love it when you didn't pull out?'_

His breath left his throat in a gasp of pleasure as the flood finished what  _felt_  like some sort of loop-de-loop through his loins.

Ranma's other mindsets were glaring at the intruder, who scoffed at their disapproval and waved a hand dismissively. ' _And besides, if she isn't safe, so what? It takes two to tango, you know, and she didn't give us any warning before letting us go bareback.'_

The tide within had reached the base of his shaft at the same moment a pair of meaty arms were slung across philosophical and practically minded Ranma's shoulders, and a jovial, carefree voice proclaimed, ' _Come on, boy! You're a man aren't you? Time to act like it!'_

The two other parts of Ranma's psyche shared a meaningful look and nodded in unison.

While in the outside world, he came inside Sam.

... _technically_.

Because her inner walls had already been lightly glazed with his pre-cum.

And as deep as he was, the first shot traveling through his shaft  _was_  inside her, even though it had yet to be launched from his body.

But technicality isn't the same as actuality, which is why Ranma tapped into the speed that saw him master the Chestnut Fist and by the time his semen traveled the remaining inches between his manhood and freedom, it leapt out to ineffectively splatter against the underside of Samantha's left breast rather than into the unprotected depths he'd nearly invaded.

As his cum painted Sam's chest, stomach, and groin in thick spurts of off-white jism, the walking embodiment of every short-sighted, selfish and carelessly cruel impulse Ranma had ever witnessed and accepted was hit by dual Moko Takabisha's, one from each of his utterly disgusted and outraged higher impulses.

And as the figure burned away to nothing under a onslaught of his ultimate technique in stereo, philosophical and practical Ranma shared a high-five and went about their duties, while Ranma himself felt a sense of relief that was separate from the easing tension of a blown load. His muscles unwound, and his nerves went slack as Ranma realized on some level that he was not a man.

Or at least, he was  **nothing**  like the man he'd been sired by.

Sam trembled, gasping softly at the light impact against the underside of her chin that left behind a warm, sticky residue. As more goo splattered across her burning body, Sam debated cussing Clover out for teaching Ranma how to give porno-style moneyshots, along with putting the idea of screwing the pigtailed boy in her head. In the end though, the feeling of his cum staining her skin filled Samantha with far more pride than anger, and she smiled to herself as she thought, (Oh yeah. I  _rocked_  his world.)

As his shots seemed to peter out, Sam pushed herself up on her elbows just in time to watch Ranma's one-eye'd python send one last weak spurt of jism onto her groin, just above her 'landing strip'. She then gaped as her eyes followed the trail of off-white splotches and streams coating her upper-body, making her look less like a human river map and almost like a glazed donut. (Holy  _shit!_  Forget moneyshot, I just got  **bukkaked!** ) The thought of what a release like that would have done if it'd been inside her sent a shiver of fear through Sam, despite the arousal of their tryst. (God...if he hadn't been wearing a rubber, there's no  _way_  I wouldn't have gotten…)

Flashes of taste, touch, and sight ran through Sam's mind, making her stop short as a scary thought occurred to her.

Eager to allay her worry, her eyes moved back up to Ranma's dick.

Which was flaccid, soaking wet, and completely  _bare_.

Among Samantha's relatively few lovers, none had ever been with her without protection, due to fear of her scholastic career and life goals, even when she was 100% safe. The sight of a dick when ungloved wasn't an unusual sight to her, much less one after an energetic romp.

But Ranma's dick did  **not**  look like the others she'd seen after the guy was out and took the rubber off. Even if Clover trained Ranma to whip it off before he nutted, which Sam couldn't bring herself to doubt, the timing between his dismount and hosing her down was too fast for that.

Samantha's eyes bugged and a shot of metaphorical ice water down her spine, cooling her burning flesh like she'd been tossed in a snowbank. Feeling the blood drain from her face, she internally begged and pleaded her theory would remain as such, she whispered, "R-Ranma. Were...were you wearing a rubber?"

Ranma panted slightly, catching his breath with his eyes cast down towards his drained dick, wondering if it was because of Sam or a side effect of her earlier lust-aura that made him cum harder than he had with Clover and Alex. Dull-witted due to a busted nut, Ranma didn't catch the subtext behind his lover's question and replied, "I...no, no I wasn't."

Confirmation sent a chill all the way to Sam's bones, and she slowly raised her eyes to look at the pigtailed boy with naked horror. "Why not!?"

Not seeing her expression, Ranma blushed and smiled embarrassedly. "Everything was kind of a blur, and I didn't have time to grab one before…" he chuckled as he added, "You're not disappointed I pulled out, are you?" as he looked up.

And saw his redheaded student/lover staring at him in raw, haggard fear.

Socially dim as he might have been, Ranma was not dumb enough to take this particular 2 + 2 and fail to come to the right conclusion. His eyes slowly widening as the pride and feeling of bliss he'd been laboring under vanished, the pigtailed boy asked, "Sam...a-are you…"

She slowly shook her head, and Ranma's knees weakened as the weight of his close call with shirked responsibility almost bore him to the floor. " _Masaka!_  Oh God, Sam, I'm sorry! I wasn't-"

"Neither was I." Sam quietly offered as she looked back at the piece of modern art that had been made across her body. Almost numbly, she dragged her fingers through a trail across her abdomen, that same wonder and worry about his release undercut by a little relief that he'd pulled out in time. "It...happened so fast. I can't believe I was so out of it. I mean, I  _never_  bareback for  **exactly** this reason-"

The fear came back, of what could have happened- _might_  happen even with the swift retreat, and Sam's vision blurred as she grimaced and a shiver rolled over her body.

Ranma saw her grimace, her lips twist and recognized the sign of a girl about to cry and felt a wave of panic hit him. Swiftly following this shot of adrenaline was the thought that Samantha wasn't like the girls back in Japan when he made them cry, and wouldn't hit him if he followed his instincts in this situation.

Sam's eyes widened as her legs were let go and she found herself pressed against Ranma's chest, his steel-cable arms wrapped across her waist and back as he hugged her tightly and declared solemnly, "I'm sorry, Sam! I promise, I'm gonna take care of you! I'll get a job somewhere, I won't leave you alone!"

Samantha blinked, her tears and the fear dimming ever-so-slightly as she repeated, "Take care of me?"

" _Hai_ , Sam. I'll take care of you." the arms holding her tightened their grip. "Both of you…"

Shocked understanding coursed through her and Sam's breath caught in her throat for an entirely different reason than a minute ago. Her vision blurred again, but this time in relief as she gently returned Ranma's embrace and rested her cheek on his shoulder. "Ranma, you pulled out, so the chances of that are low."

"But-"

"And I'm going to a pharmacy, first thing tomorrow." The redhead added, noting that her lover was trembling a little, which only made her want to hug him even tighter, as he was just as aware and afraid of getting her pregnant as she was. "It takes two to tango, you know? And I'm not ready to deal with that either."

Ranma's shivering eased at that, and he let out a slow, deep breath of air. "Yeah...yeah, it does." relaxing his hold, he pulled back from Sam so they were face-to-face, and he gave her an apologetic look. " _Deimo_ , I'm really, really sorry."

"I know." Sam reassured him with a grateful smile, wiping away a streak from her cheeks before adding softly, "Thanks for saying you'd stick around, Ranma. That...means a lot to me."

Thinking back to the now-discarded part of his mind that had almost landed him neck deep in shit-creek, Ranma's smile returned as he offered, "What kinda guy would I be if I didn't?"

"The kind of man I thought you were when you first showed up." Sam replied as she brought her hand up and cupped one of his cheeks, her eyes softening and her smile turning more fond as she added, "And I've never been happier that you proved me wrong."

Returning her warm look, Ranma pulled her back in and gave the Samantha a kiss. It started gentle, but slowly grew to something more than an expression of mutual reassurance and gratitude as their lips molded against each other, and Sam gave a soft sigh before experimentally sliding her tongue forward…

Then stopped, her eyes bugging as she snapped her head back and broke off contact with an audible *pop*. "Okay! Let's not risk a repeat!"

Ranma blinked quizzically, then blushed and chuckled shyly, "Right, right, sorry. But, I don't think that'll be a problem, cause you  _really_  drained me…"

Sam's flat look made Ranma blink again, before he noticed a tightening feeling growing in his loins. The pair looked down in unison and saw that Ranma's dick was laying against her mons, at half-mast and swelling quickly, while his balls were tucked snugly against the entrance to her sex. Meeting each other's gazes again, he smiled apologetically and said, "Shower?"

Sam gave a small sigh, but smiled too as she replied, "Shower. Me first though."

00000

"You know something...I actually think we needed that."

Ranma, who was leaning against the edge of the bathroom sink and looking at the mess that had been smeared across his torso when he hugged Samantha, snapped his head up and gaped at the frosted door to the occupied shower stall and the redheaded blurry figure within. " _Nani!?_  Sam, I almost-"

"Not  **that**  part!" Sam rebuffed him quickly with a slight hint of annoyance. Tilting her head back, she let the bodywash and her hands wipe away the trails of drying semen from her body and pointedly ignored the arousing and fear-inducing memories that lead up to her looking like the star of a gangbang porno. "Ever since Clover put that idea into our heads, there's been some sexual tension between us, and I think today happened because we've been ignoring it."

Ranma thought about that and nodded, while his eyes drifted across the dimly visible feminine figure only a few feet away from him. Then he realized she might be able see him, and that he was getting hard again from trying to check her out, and promptly looked away with an awkward cough. "I get it. But...I don't think it was all Clover-chan's fault, you know?"

Sam's eye twitched. "True...but her telling you to 'Swap out the stick up my ass for your dick' probably didn't help matters." The redhead smiled widely at the sound of a choked off exclamation from outside the stall, and went about lathering up one of her legs. "I mean,  _maybe_  there would have been tension, but that's only because I saw how good you were with Alex-"

Sam stiffened as that slip-of-the-tongue registered, before facepalming and stifling a groan as Ranma blurted, "Wait, what!? You  _saw_  us?!"

"I was watching  _Alex_ ," Sam explained with a small sigh as she spread soap across her calf and thigh. "So I could warn her if she had any 'company' during her ' _me'_  time. By the time I got there, she was heading to the locker room with Dominique right behind her and I followed them."

Ranma wondered if he looked like he had a full body sunburn from how hard he was blushing, and why the thought of Sam spying on him and Alex was turning him on even more. "Why...didn't you stop her?"

"I wasn't there in person, otherwise I would have. All I could do was watch and wait until you two were done." Sam explained as she let the one leg rinse clean and switched to the other. She paused briefly and frowned before admitting sullenly, "Which is  _funny_ , considering I remember more about  **that**  than what we did…"

That distracted Ranma from his embarrassed arousal and he looked curiously at the stall again. "Really? You don't remember anything either?"

Sam was silent for several moments as she processed that, before offering a contemplative, "No...well, bits and pieces after we both reached for the remote. What about you?"

"Same here. I remember kissing you…" Ranma trailed off as the sudden feeling of soft lips wrapped around his manhood made him stammer. "I, uh, I meant like, regular kissing, not-"

"Yeah, I know." Samantha replied, feeling flush at the memory of being skull-fucked to completion and  _not_  gagging on Ranma's cum. "We kissed in  _every_  sense of the term. Then we...did it."

Silence descended as the two teens each recalled the feeling of their tryst, and the fallout of the near miss. The quiet was eventually broken by Ranma asking, "Sam...do you remember telling me if you were safe or not?"

She paused, running the scarce moments leading up to their wild sex through her head before offering, "No. I don't think I did." She shook her head as she rinsed more soap off of her body. "Unbelievable...not only did I forget to make you suit up, I didn't even warn you."

"It's not your fault."

"Well, it sure as hell isn't yours." Sam returned sardonically. "You had enough sense to pull out in time." At the memory of what almost happened, the redhead couldn't suppress a small shiver and wrapped her arms around her stomach. Ranma was silent outside the stall, and after a moment, Samantha said quietly, "Thank you, Ranma. If you hadn't been careful, we'd have a lot more to worry about."

Ranma frowned at that and looked down. "You don't have to thank me, Sam. I realized what was happening about a minute before we finished, and I didn't stop it. It wasn't until I was  _there_  that the risk slapped me in the face, but I was gonna take it anyway. Until…"

Sam, curious and a little nervous about how close their close-shave had really been, turned and looked out at the blurred image on the other side of the clouded shower door. "Until what?"

Ranma grunted in disgust. "The same thing that happened with Clover-chan. Suddenly, I heard my old man throwin' out his opinion, and I told him to go  **fuck**  himself."

There was a pause, before movement caught the corner of Ranma's eye, and he looked up to see Sam opening the shower door and sticking her head out, her sopping wet red hair much darker as she looked at him with concern. "Ranma, I know your dad was a piece of shit, but you can't base your entire life on what he might have done. Even if it is just so you can do the opposite."

"I know," Ranma nodded, standing up and walking over to Sam so he could speak clearly to her. There was an impulse to cover himself up, but he figured she'd already seen enough, and since her outline was still blurry, she wasn't likely going to get angry at him for looking at her. "And I'm not tossin' away everything. I'm trying to be more self-reliant and I'm still learning and teachin' the Art,"

(Though that's just another way to tell the old bastard to screw himself) a vindictive part of Ranma's mind offered.

"-it's just that, anytime I think of somethin' that means duckin' responsibility, lyin' about important stuff, or not doing the right thing; I know now that he'd jump into it without question." Ranma raised his eyes, meeting Sam's with a serious expression. "But not all the time. I didn't think of my old man at all when I said I'd take care of you, Sammy. And if goin' to the pharmacy doesn't work, I'll be there, all the way. Okay?"

Sam blushed brightly, and despite herself, she found the idea of his hypothetical situation rather appealing. That thought was quickly suppressed as she shook her head, before giving Ranma a soft, grateful smile. "I believe you. Thank you, Ranma." Her eyes roamed his figure briefly, and her blush deepened as she saw his manhood, which was hardening a little as she watched. "Umm, I'm all done in here."

 _Now_  Ranma was feeling a little nervous as Sam ogled his package, and he looked away from her as he scratched the back of his neck and chuckled, "Uh, okay; my turn then?" his eyes flicked to the glass, noting that her obscured outline wasn't  _that_  obscured as he offered, "If you don't mind me askin', why'd you want us to take turns?"

Noticing his shy behavior, Sam likewise averted her eyes and answered honestly, "Well...that thing in the locker room was really hot, and I was worried I'd wouldn't be able to resist re-enacting it if we showered together."

Ranma chuckled a little, his pride mollifying his embarrassment a little as he offered, "Well, it's not just you, you know? I know I haven't given the best impression since I got here, but I  _do_  have pretty good impulse control."

Silence greeted that statement, before the shower door opened and Ranma looked up again. His jaw dropped at the crisp, clean image of the freshly bathed and soaking wet Samantha Simpson, giving him a flatly disbelieving look along with a completely unrestricted view of her body. The redhead's nude, dripping form made his breath catch in his throat, following the rivulets of water flowing from where her darker-than-normal redhair was clinging to her nearly glowing skin, running down over her body, across the breasts, stomach and mons he'd admired less than a half-hour ago, shortly before blowing his load across it. All that plus the dripping from between her legs which he  _intellectually_  knew was just water, but otherwise didn't care about anything except how hot it looked, brought him to attention at a speed that was just plain ludicrous.

Sam watched Ranma's dick went from half-mast to rockhard in a literal heartbeat, and she resisted the urge to giggle or moan as she met his eyes and smirked coyly. "You really think we could share a shower and not have sex with me?"

It took all of a nano-second for Ranma to shake his head in a negative, without taking his eyes off of her body. "Not a chance in hell."

Sam smiled at the praise. "Thought so. Your turn."

00000

Sam awoke the next morning, refreshed and ready for a new day, even though her first stop was going to be for decidedly serious matter following her and Ranma's dalliance.

Unfortunately, she stalled out when she stepped out of her bedroom and saw her mother, sitting in a pink bathrobe and sipping some coffee at the dining room table. The older redhead gave her daughter a grin and asked, "So, have fun last night?"

Sam schooled her expression quickly, and after glancing towards her parent's bedroom door to make sure it was closed, she walked towards the table and offered, "The training went really well, and I think I'm ready for a breakthrough."

"Oh? Was that before or after you and Ranma made the beast with two backs?"

Samantha nearly tripped over her own feet, catching the back of a nearby chair before she hit the ground and staring dumbfounded at her widely grinning mother. "Y-you, how-how did-"

"You changed your sheets a few days ago, and there was no reason for them to be in the dryer, you used  _way_  too much febreeze to cover up the smell, and the bathroom was a little steamy from your shower when your father and I got home." The older redhead replied cheerily. "You can't put one over on your mother, Sammy. So, how was it?"

Sam's coloration shifted from red to stark white, then grey and pallid, before her normal skin tone returned as she hung her head and sighed as she accepted her fate and moved to sit in the chair opposite her mother. "I don't  _remember_. One second, we were watching a movie and everything was fine, and the next…" She dropped her face into her hand and mumbled, "We both just lost control, and I can't explain how it happened."

Gabriella's eyebrows rose, not expecting that statement among her daughter's possible reactions. Her smile turned less girl-talky and more comforting as she asked, "Was it wild?"

Sam nodded in affirmation.

"Like your body was running on instinct?"

Sam didn't respond for a moment, before nodding very slowly, still without lifting her head up.

"And right now, you can only remember the 'good parts'?"

Another moment of silence, before Sam raised her head and looked at her mother in surprise and confusion. "Yeah...that's exactly what happened. How did you know?"

"You didn't just inherit my good looks, Sam." Gabriella replied with a gentle smile. "I had the same reaction to your father, once upon a time."

Sam blushed deeply. "You...you think I  _like_ -like Ranma?"

"I think you're attracted to more than just his body, and even though you got off to a bad start, he makes you happy." the older redhead reached across the table and held her daughter's hand. "That's all I want, sweetie. And as long as Ranma treats you right, I trust him and you not to do anything irresponsible."

Sam gave a small flinch, which wasn't missed by Gabriella, who blinked curiously. "Sammy? Did something happen?"

Sam pursed her lips, and took a moment to collect her thoughts. She knew she could trust her mother, but couldn't bring herself to admit to how  _irresponsible_ she'd been, even if the older redhead could understand the hereditary 'lust fog'. "Mom," She said softly. "There was an...accident."

"Accident?"

"The...rubber broke." Sam clarified, letting the embarrassment of admitting something so personal hide the tells from her tiny bit of deception. It apparently worked as her mother's eyes widened, and Sam quickly followed up with the truth, "Ranma realized what happened and pulled out in time, and I'm not saying that makes everything fine, but I'm gonna get dressed and go to the pharmacy for a-"

"Do you need me to drive you?"

Gabriella's question, asked with complete seriousness and not a hint of reproach made Sam sag in relief and she gave her mother a grateful look. "No...no, mom. I'll be fine. It was just really scary when we realized what had happened." Sam lowered her eyes and whispered, "He said he'd stay. First words out of his mouth when he- _we_  thought about what might happen was that he'd take care of  _both_  of us."

The older redhead's mouth opened, and then closed again as she squeezed her child's hand. "Sammy, if you didn't  _like_ -like him before he said that, I'm positive you do now."

"Me too, mom." Sam sniffled quietly, before giving her mother a despondent look. "But, what do I do about it? He's with Clover, even if they have some weird pseudo-open relationship, and I don't want to be someone's side-piece."

Gabriella pursed her lips as she mused over her child's problem. She had to admit, experienced as she was with 'complicated' relationships, this did seem like something that would leave her daughter miserable no matter what option she chose. Either by pining for Ranma from (relatively) afar, or coming between him and her best friend.

Suddenly, an image came to the older redhead's mind. Last spring, she'd discovered Samantha relieving Clover's stress via a deep-tissue massage. Which is to say, the blonde was face-down ass-up while her daughter pounded her with a big black strap-on. The older woman hadn't been seen and had spoken to no one of the incident, and there was a brief moment of confusion as to why she remembered that now.

Until she remembered the added details of Sam, Clover, and Alex's mission. And how her daughter's partners had compromised themselves with Ranma, simultaneously...several times. Then the phrasing of her daughter's comment, about not wanting to be a 'side-piece' twisted in on itself.

The younger redhead watched with growing confusion as her mother's expression went from sympathetic, to surprised, and then finally settled on something mischievous and giddy. "Sammy...I think I have an idea…"

00000

Samantha smiled widely and called out "Hey guys!" to her besties, who were standing in front of the mall's main entrance. While more at ease due to having gotten a morning-after pill at the pharmacy, butterflies were merrily flapping away in Sam's stomach as she considered the wholly crazy and utterly irresponsible idea that her mother had come up with in regards to her, Ranma, Clover, and Alex. Everything had the chance of going wrong with this new plan, and possibly screwing up her relationship with her best friends on a million-to-one chance was beyond insane.

But then again, a wise man once said, ' _million-to-one chances pull through nine times out of ten'_.

As the redhead neared, Alex raised her hand and returned Sam's greeting with a cheery, "Hey, Sammy!" While Clover made to do the same, but stopped with her hand half-way in the air as she blinked quizzically at the approaching redhead. As Sam came closer, Clover's hands lowered as her expression became studious, then surprised. In the remaining three steps it took for Samantha to reach her two friends, Clover was sporting the biggest shit-eating grin that anyone had ever seen as she asked delightedly, "How was the rodeo, Sammy?"

Samantha sputtered, her train of thought and attempt to bring up innocuous topics like clothes and shopping derailed completely by her friend's comment. Alex didn't catch the reference though, and looked at Clover curiously. "What rodeo?"

"The  _Nerima_  rodeo," Clover chirped as she gave Alex a wink. "Featuring everyone's favorite 'Wild Horse'."

Now the lightbulb clicked and the relatively innocent latina gasped before turning to the rosy-cheeked redhead and whispering, "Sammy! Did you do  _that_  with Ranma too!?"

"What the  _hell!?_ " Samantha snarled-whispered while shooting a look over each shoulder. "Is it tattooed on my face or something!?"

"Nope. It's just that there's something a little more... _at ease_  about you." Clover exclaimed cheerfully. "The kind of relaxation and happiness that only comes from a girl in  **dire**  need of a deep-dicking getting one in  _spades_."

Sam grumbled while Alex eep'ed and shushed Clover, who ignored the easily embarrassed latina and giddily asked her friend, "So like, how was he? Was he backed up? I bet he was filling buckets considering how much he normally shoots-"

"Clover!" "CLOVER!"

Sam and Alex's simultaneous shouts, one outraged and one terminally embarrassed, only made the blonde break into a fit of giggles. Sam took a deep breath to steady her nerves, and after a moment to calm down, she met her friend's eyes and said, "Clover, as much as I would  _love_  to share girl-talk, there's something really important I need to talk to you about."

The serious tone in Sam's voice, which was  **almost**  to the level that the redhead normally sported pre-rodeo, brought Clover and Alex's attention to her and away from further questions regarding the redhead's dalliance. Clover looked confused at the tonal shift, while Alex bit her lip worriedly, "Sam, you're not gonna...tell Jerry what happened, are you?"

Sam closed her eyes, and after a moment of visbily struggling with herself, she ground out, "No...no I'm not gonna tell Jerry."

"Woo-hoo!" Clover cheered, throwing her hands up as she crowed, "Welcome to the sisterhood! Now, how about we celebrate with a fourso-"

Alex slapped a hand over Clover's mouth before she could attract more attention. The blonde shot her friend a glare, but froze as the latina was easily matching and eclipsing her outrage and not-quite growled, "Clover. Stop. Being. So.  **Loud**."

The blonde nodded in fearful agreement while Sam leaned away from Alex, wondering why she saw a red light and an 8-pointed star in the latina's eyes before she shook her head and refocused her attention on Clover. "Just because I'm not going to tell Jerry doesn't mean I'm going to sneak around with you and your boyfriend, Clover." Sam took another breath to steady herself before meeting her friends eyes with a sad, fearful expression. "And...that's why I want you to break up with him."

00000

Ranma's breathing eased, though it was barely noticable considering the light workout he'd been through. But while the exercise had been easy, there were other factors that had sent his heart racing from worry, fear, and a fair bit of desire.

Namely, the redhead standing next to him, who'd thrown her head back and was chugging from a bottle of water following their workout.

Watching Sam act so nonchalant during their training had been a relief and also concerning for the pigtailed teen. On the one hand, she wouldn't be so calm if something had...gone wrong with her precaution, right? But she could also be upset because of how they'd both gone crazy the night before, except she  _seemed_  okay when they shared a slightly awkward goodbye. Maybe it had finally sunk in and she was-

"Ranma?"

Ranma shook his head and found Sam; the sweat-soaked, exhausted, and utter gorgeous redhead looking at him quizzically. "What's up?"

"Nothin'!" Ranma replied, or rather, yelped in a panick. He caught himself quickly and looked away from Sam, schooling his expression and trying to maintain his calm as he said in an over-compensatingly serious voice. "I was just...wondering if you were feeling okay. You're movements seemed a little stiff."

Sam couldn't suppress the smile, though she managed to hold back the giggles at Ranma's horrific attempt at pretending they were still just a teacher and student. Though a small part of her sullenly declared that she should go back in time and give her past self a dopeslap for thinking someone  _this_  bad at lying could have been a master criminal. Ignoring that guilty feeling for a moment, Sam offered, "I'm fine, Ranma. I know you're worried about how I lost control yesterday."

Ranma blinked and turned back to her. "Lost contro-" He stopped as her smile disappeared for a second, becoming a deadly serious,  _pointed_  look as her eyes meaningfully flicked towards his apartment building. He caught on quickly, remembering he was still under observation and paled briefly before offering a shaky smile in return. "R-right. Lost control…"

Sam sighed and rolled her eyes before going back to the cover she'd thought up. "Yeah, mom was a little worried. But it was only a coffee cup, and I explained to her how your training will help me get a grip on my new strength."

Ranma blinked several times, wondering if she was still talking about them having sex, when he noticed the redhead side-eye'ing him with a half-lidded, 'don't be dense' expression on her face. After a second, he connected the new addition to the conversation and after a moment of turning white as a sheet, he whispered, "Y-you're mom...knows?"

"She was expecting it, actually."

Ranma did a double-take and stared at Sam, mouth agape as she added casually. "She was a little worried about me being hurt, but she wasn't angry about it, and told me to take some aspirin if there was any pain." before taking a drink of water.

As she drank, Ranma parsed that out mentally. (Sam's mom knew we were gonna have sex!? No, she was  _expecting_  it, that's different. Did she do something to make us go crazy? Put something in the water, a hypnotic suggestion in that movie? Why would she do that? For a grandchild? The next generation of super-spy? But aspirin...Sam must be talking about the birth control, but if her mom was fine with it, then why-)

"She studied martial arts, you know."

Ranma was brought out of his Nerima pre-flight disaster checklist by his student's voice, and he found the redhead looking at him with an innocently intrigued expression, like she was offering a interesting piece of information. "Really?" Ranma smiled at the return to a familiar and less worrying subject. "What kind?  _Kempo_ ,  _Ju jitsu_ -"

"I'm not sure." Sam's voice hardened a little, letting Ranma know that no, she  _hadn't_  changed the topic of their conversation, even though it sounded like it. He couldn't help but wilt a little, which she noticed as she offered in a more conciliatory tone. "But she studied enough that she knows a little bit about broken coffee cups."

Having picked up the flow of conversation again, it didn't take much for Ranma to pick up on that subtext, and he managed to respond in a way that sounded closer to the speed of a normal conversation. "Really? Did she have any advice?"

"Some." Sam turned to Ranma, holding her water bottle in her hand, looking at it melancholically. "But she said it was a serious problem, and could become even worse if I didn't get a handle on it."

Thinking about what would have happened, or at least been more likely if he hadn't pulled out in time, Ranma shivered and said, "No kidding. Last thing I want right now is for you to get  _hurt_."

Sam smiled half-heartedly and replied, "Thanks for that, Ranma. But...that's not what I meant by serious."

"It's not?"

Red hair waved as Samantha shook her head, then looked up, meeting his eyes with a heartfelt, emotionally exposed expression as she whispered softly, "Serious about  _us_."

Density was a relative thing, and at times subject to fluctuation. Such was the case for Ranma as he looked into Sam's green eyes, and suddenly clicked on the true meaning of her words, aided slightly by the memories of times that other girls had looked at him in similar ways back in Nerima. His back stiffening as he realized he'd somehow amassed another 3-way romantic fuster-cluck, Ranma swallowed heavily and made an attempt at keeping their conversation disguised. "Um, I thought we said-I mean, you were gonna be... **serious**  about learnin' Anything Goes, not about...other stuff?"

"I did. And I still do." Sam replied quietly. "But  _apparently_ that's why I lost control, and the only answer my mom could offer was to...give it a try."

"B-but I'm with-I mean, you didn't want to be a side- _Erk!_  I mean, you wanted to be my only student! No, wait-!"

"Ranma!" Sam cut off his panicked statements before he accidentally blew their carefully crafted subtext, even though she was at a loss for how to explain her plan without doing the same. "It's not that I don't want you to teach anymore, I just-"

The sound of a keyboard interrupted the pair, and they turned to where Ranma's phone was sitting on a bag next to them, blinking owlishly. "Light your heart up?" Sam repeated aloud. "What's that from?"

"Ah, a show back home." Ranma chuckled embarrassedly. "It's crazy as hell, but one of the characters reminded me of-"

Sam heard the ' _erk!'_  as Ranma cut himself off, and gave the pigtailed boy a dry look. "Let me guess. That's Clover's ringtone."

Ranma's fear-stricken expression slowly became a grimace as he braced himself for an eruption. "Y-yeah…"

Sam narrowed her eyes, more from how Ranma was  _flinching_  than her irritation at being interrupted. Turning away from him, she offered a terse, "To be continued." as she picked up his phone.

"Hey, what're you doing?"

"Making sure Clover isn't breaking the rules  _again_." Sam replied with a pointed scowl as she flipped Ranma's cheap phone open, seeing that Clover had sent a text rather than calling him.

Ranma watched as Sam clicked a button, and her eyes widened before rapidly running back and forth, her cheeks getting redder and redder and her expression becoming more furious as she read whatever Clover had sent her. They both jumped when the song played again, only to end when Sam tapped a button and read the new message, her eyes narrowing until one spasmodically twitched and she was scowling at his phone like it'd insulted her lineage. When the third rendition of Makonshoku Mako's theme song was cut off, Sam glanced at the latest and last message, and whispered, "Dammit." Under her breath before handing the machine to it's rightful owner and turning to the side, folding her arms across her chest and huffing angrily as Ranma read the formerly private message from his girlfriend.

[We're breaking up 'Ron' ;) but 4 realsies this time. ;_; But don't worry, it's all part of Sammy's master plan 2 join the PARTY!]  
[If SHE becomes your GF, then she's not a side piece, and I still get lovin' from my Stallion XXX!]  
[Give the phone back 2 Ranma, Sammy! I want 2 see the look on his face and hear his answer!]

Ranma's eye twitched, his mouth agape, and probably causing his now definitely ex-girlfriend to laugh hysterically. But he couldn't express the sheer levels of WTF he was feeling in any other way as he looked up at Sam, who was still standing in profiile to him, looking irritated and embarrassed with rosy cheeks as she huffed, " _Of all the nerve. Who does she think she is?"_

"S-Sam?" Ranma asked weakly when he found his voice. "Is Clover-chan-is this...right?"

The redhead looked at him out of one eye, her blush deepening a little as she gave a small nod.

"You're... _really_  okay with this?"

"...I don't know." Sam admitted, lowering her eyes, her posture becoming more uncertain, nervous. "I don't  _hate_  the idea. It just makes me feel a little weird, but I can get over that. But if I don't, Clover and Alex both agreed they'd...opt out, rather than try to push things."

Ranma's mouth opened and closed a few times, in that state of abject shock that can turn otherwise sane and rational people into fish and locking their higher brain functions down.

"But that all depends on you."

That broke the water level and brought Ranma's full attention onto the redhead. More importantly, the green glimmer as she looked at him out of the corner of her eye, lips quivering just a little as she murmured, "It's your choice, Ranma. I won't... **we**  aren't going to decide for you and just expect you to go along with it." She lowered her eyes and whispered, "That wouldn't be fair to you."

Those words, spoken by himself earlier this week when he'd explained why he wasn't going to do this-and-that with Samantha just because Clover gave her approval  _almost_  made Ranma say yes right then and there, except sudden fourth rendition of  _Light Your Heart Up_  brought his attention back to his phone again.

[I know u had bad experiences, but me, Sammy and Alex luv u, Ranma. Wut evah u want, we'll support u, ok?]

Ranma snapped his flipphone closed, eyes shut as he valiantly pulled back the tears that threatened to leak from his eyes, old habits dying hard after all. Once he got his traitorous emotions under control, Ranma smiled at Sam and replied, "Yes, Sammy."

The redhead stiffened, and slowly turned to look at Ranma, eyes wide in surprise. "Yes?"

"Yes. I'll try-" He blushed and wiggled his hand and the phone in it. "- _it_ , if you're willing...if that's okay."

Something burst inside Sam, like a firework in her chest that sent streamers of joy through her body. Before she could stop herself, she let out a gleeful whoop and launched herself at Ranma, wrapping her arms around his neck and laughing happily while he spun her around, equally as exuberant but also to bleed off the momentum of her flying tackle.

-0-

"YES!" Clover stood up, hands in the air as she cheered, "WE DID IT! Way to go, SAMMY!"

The slap of skin-on-skin followed as she shared a high-five with Alex, who spun in place and giggled excitedly. "He said yes! He said yes, he said yes, he said YES! This is the best day EVER!"

"Oh, I'm getting my saddle and I'm gonna ride that stallion until my hips  _break_!" Clover cackled maniacally. She then turned a maddened grin onto Alex and crowed, "First dibs on him after Sammy's turn!"

"Why dibs?" Alex returned Clover's ear-to-ear smile with one that was less crazy, but more sneaky as she chortled, "We can just share him! We did it befo-"

The latina's eyes bugged and she let out a shocked 'eep!' as she covered her mouth with both hands, but it was too late as Clover was gaping at her in utter shock. Aggressive in bed was one thing, but the fact that 'sweet and innocent' Alex had actually  _proposed_  another ménage a trois with Ranma caused Clover to sniffle. Before the embarrassed latina could react, she soon found her head pressed against her friend's chest and flailed helplessly as the more boisterous blonde wailed dramatically, "My little girl's become a woman! I'm s-s-so PROUD of you-huu-huu-huu!"

"Clopher!" Alex's yell was muffled by her besties shirt, which also hid her glowing cheeks. "Cam' breef!"

Her moment of drama done, Clover let go of her friend and beamed ecstatically as Alex swayed dizzily and gasped for air. "You little  _genius_ , Alex! Why should we share at all!? You, me, and Sammy can just take turns with him, like musical chairs! Except, you know with sex!" An evil gleam came to Clover's eyes and she snickered wickedly. "Ohh, musical  _holes_! We totally gotta give that a try!"

"CLOVER!"

The pair's discussion was interrupted by the sound of the man who would someday discover if it was really possible to be killed by snu-snu, (if they had anything to say about it) as he said, "Arigato,  _Sammy-chan."_  and brought their attention back to Clover's TV. Ranma and Sam had stopped spinning and were simply holding each other as most couples would and smiling with light blushes. " _I'm glad you thought of this. I mean, it wouldn't have been my first thought-"_

" _Me either."_  Sam giggled as she closed her eyes and touched her brow against Ranma's, who returned her gesture with gentle smile. " _God, I never would have come up with something so crazy, but I'm glad you approve."_

" _Of course I do. I trust you three."_

Clover and Alex tilted their heads quizzically while Sam opened her eyes and smiled in a confused way. " _Trust us? Why wouldn't you trust us?"_

"Iie _, that's not what I meant."_ Ranma shook his head and looked at Sam, his smile sending flutters through Alex and Clover's chests as he said, " _You, Clover-chan and Alé-chan, you've been friends for a long time, and you're doin' this 'cause you don't want them left out."_  His eyes lowered and his smile turned a little melancholic. " _You three ain't gonna stop bein' friends 'cause of this. If I screw up, somehow."_

Clover and Alex let out mutual wordless moans or heartache and heart melting at that, while Sam took a half-second to stare at Ranma before firming her expression and pulling him into a searing kiss that their two lovers could feel the heat of through Clover's TV screen.

"Until our hips turn to dust." Alex sniffled as she wiped away a tear.

Clover nodded in agreement, then heaved a sigh as she groaned miserably. "But now we gotta figure out how to get rid of this recording and keep Jerry from figuring out why, 'cause we  **can't** let him find out about this."

"Or our moms." Alex whimpered with a shiver of fear.

-0-

Jerry tapped his index finger against his temple, watching as one of his best agents sucked face with her instructor-cum-boyfriend, who had apparently brought her fellow agents back into a web of debauchery and sin with said boyfriend. "I should have all three of them dismissed for this. At the minimum."

"But you won't, because that's not part of the deal."

Jerry's eyes narrowed at the entirely too smug voice from behind him, and he turned to send a pointed glare at the one who'd spoken and initially proposed the bargain that he was regretting more with every passing second. "Considering how you cheated, I should consider our deal null and void."

Gabriella Simpson brought a hand to her chest, gasping dramatically as she declared, "Why  _Jerry!_  What kind of a mother do you think I am!? I'd never turn down my little girl if she wants my advice!" Her scandalized expression morphed into a satisfied smirk as she held her hand out to him. "I didn't say anything to Sammy except how to make up her own mind. Now pay up."

Jerry closed his eyes and groaned as he pulled out his wallet, and fished out a Benjamin before politely laying it on the older redhead's palm. He grunted as Gabriella giggled and held the bill up to the light, checking for any sign that it was counterfeit, and muttered, "I'm doing this under stern protest."

"Duly noted, don't care!" Gabby chirped happily like she was decades younger as she brought out her own wallet and deposited her winnings inside. She then gave the older man a pointed look. "And for the other part?"

Jerry frowned. "The  **moment**  this affects the girl's duties as W.O.O.H.P. Agents-"

"You can come down on them like a ton of bricks." Gabby waved a hand dismissively before returning his warning look. "But they aren't  _your_  children, and it's the parent's job to keep their kids safe, or bring them to task when they screw up." She perked up suddenly, a bright smile on her face as she said, "Oh, speaking of that!"

Turning to her right, Gabriella held a hand out to her partners-in-crime; Stella, who was watching Ranma and Sam passionately kiss with one twitching eye and furiously muttering, and Carmen, who was tittering like she was watching the ending to a favorite rom-com. Stella glared at the hand and the owner of said hand like both had personally offended her, before reaching for her backpocket with a grumble, while Carmen sighed in a resigned way and did the same. Another $100 and a $50 were soon placed in Gabriella's hand, which brought a quizzical blink from Jerry, who turned his eyes on the older latina spy. "What did you bet, Carmen?"

"I thought Alex would be too shy to join in with Clover and Sam." The older woman replied with a shrug. "Officially, anyway."

"Ah." Jerry took a deep breath and straightened up, adopting a more professional air as he turned his chair to face the three women completely. "Now that this business has been  _somewhat_  settled,"

"Sore loser." Gabby said to herself, loud enough for him and her two partners to hear.

"We need to move on to a related topic." An image appeared behind Jerry, of a teenage girl with shoulder-length blue hair and a matching spy outfit. "In 48 hours, Agent Britney's 'radio silence' will officially have reached the maximum allowed deadline for such actions. Unless she contacts us with a report on the situation, a request to continue the blackout, or a completion of her mission, I will be sending you three into Nerima to discover her whereabouts."

The three older women straightened up, each of their expression synchronously severe as Gabriella asked, "What information do we have, besides what Ranma has told us?"

"Very little, but more than enough to glean some useful information, such as the fact that you can largely slip into what  _passes_  for civilization in Nerima without attracting too much attention from the local's."

Carmen cocked an eyebrow. "They're not gonna bat an eye at three Americans walking around Japan?"

Jerry shook his head. "Not in the way you're thinking of, Agent Vasquez. You and the others will slip beneath the notice of the 'Wrecking Crew' because you are adults, and will not be interfering with their business, unless it involves safeguarding Agent Britney or keeping your knowledge of Ranma Saotome's whereabouts from becoming widespread."

"I don't know," Stella muttered. "Seems to me like a lot of the problems there could be solved with some discipline and adult supervision."

"Provided said adults are capable of holding their own against martial artists who laugh at the  _dan_  ranking system and are not as crazy as the teenagers they are supposed to be raising." Jerry added dryly. "Anyway, the gadgets we will be providing are-"

"Jerry." G.L.A.D.I.S. interrupted the old Brit abruptly. "You have an urgent message."

Jerry's eyes narrowed. His assistant's programming was such that she wouldn't interrupt a briefing like this if it wasn't truly important, and he turned to the screen displaying the image of his currently missing agent and said, "What is the message, Gladis?"

The still image of Britney disappeared, and Jerry's eyes widened as it became a  _live_  image of his agent, smiling sheepishly as she waved a hand and said, " _Hi boss...miss me?"_

-Omake-

Sam and Ranma walked back to his apartment, the two of them eager to clean up and talk a little more about what they would do first as an official couple. As Sam gently squeezed Ranma's hand in hers and got a squeeze in return, a thought occurred to her and she asked, "Hey, Ranma?"

"Hmm? What's up, Sammy-chan?"

She giggled. "Okay, that's cute, but can you just call me Sammy? That doesn't exactly role off the tongue like Clover-chan or Alé-chan." Ranma chuckled and nodded in agreement while she went on. "But I wanted to ask, you said you had the same problem I did last night? Because mom said she had times where she was so turned on that everything just became a rush, but neither of us could think of why you were affected by it.

Ranma thought about it for a moment, taking from Samantha's cues that W.O.O.H.P.'s cameras weren't covering the entire area outside and they could speak plainly, (Rather than her being so giddy that she forgot they were being monitored) and offered, "Actually, I think I do. Remember when I told you about battle auras? Usin' your willpower and a bit of  _ki_  to intimidate someone so you don't need to fight them?"

"Yes."

"Well, you were...kinda giving off one last night while we were sparrin'." Ranma scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "'Cept, your's wasn't exactly a  _fightin'_  aura."

Sam blinked. "There are other kinds of auras?"

"Kinda. It's more like…" Ranma pursed his lips as he thought of how to phrase it. "An aura shows up when someone's concentratin' and focused on a goal and has a lot of  _ki_ , even if they don't realize it or can't control it consciously. Most of the time, it shows up when people are spoilin' for a fight because they have one goal, beat their opponent." A small pang came to Ranma's chest as he remembered an irate bluenette with a mallet. "A lot people make 'em accidentally when they're really mad…"

Sam heard the hurt in Ranma's voice and looked at him sympathetically.

Turning his mind away from his fiancé to a less hurtful subject, Ranma recalled his former father-in-law looking down on him with fiery eyes the size of floodlights and a tongue as long as a boa constrictor demanding explanations for his supposedly bad behavior. He shuddered and said, "But Tendo-san could make one that was based on fear, and that was a lot scarier than somethin' that just says 'I'm gonna kick your ass'."

"Wait, you told me that  _ki_  was about focusing your willpower until you're not just feeling determined, you  _become_  determined. He could just say 'I am scary' until he  _became_  scary? Or was he-" Samantha blinked as a thought occurred. "Or...was he  _scared_?"

"For his kids." Ranma supplied with a nod, impressed with how Sam put that zen puzzle-pieces together. "He could slip some real terror into his aura because he was afraid of his daughters gettin' hurt, and he usually brought that out on me when he thought I stepped out on Akane or did something that hurt her."

(A worried single father. Makes sense.) Sam nodded in understanding before smiling at Ranma. "So, what kind did I make? 'Cause while we were training, I was-"

Sam stopped.

As in, stopped dead where she stood and almost pulled Ranma off-balance as it clicked in her mind. Eyes wide, mouth agape, she ran the theory through her mind while Ranma watched her with an increasingly worried expression. His worry turned fearful when Sam lowered her head, concealing her eyes with dark shadows as she intoned quietly, "Ranma.  **Tell**  me that my first  _ki_  aura was  **not**  a goddamn beacon screaming 'do me here, do me now' to you or anyone else who might be sensitive to it."

"Uh, it wasn't the first time you made a  _ki_  aura?" Ranma tensed as Sam's hand squeezed his uncomfortably tightly. "And it wasn't a  _beacon_! It was just kinda...obvious?"

The redhead stood there for a few more moments, before asking in that same quiet and too-calm ' _no, I'm not thinking about taking a pickaxe to a NAMBLA meeting, why do you ask?'_  tone. "Has anyone ever created a lust-aura before?"

Ranma swallowed heavily, sensing a shit-storm on the horizon as he replied, "Yes."

His brief prayers that she would end the questioning there were for naught as she asked, "Who?"

"...Happi."

Sam twitched violently, like she was suppressing some kind of full-body spasm before whispering, " _I made the same kind of aura as an old pervert who can't_ survive  _without going on_ **panty raids** _?"_

"No, no!" Ranma stammered hastily. "You didn't make one just like Happi's! His was a lot bigger-" Ranma paled as she spasmed again. "And it was a lot different in other ways!"

" **How."**

The one word not-request made Ranma break into a cold sweat, and he tossed out a hail-Mary. "Yours affected me and his didn't?"

Sam seemed to freeze at that, or at least, she paused in a way that made Ranma's sense of foreboding ease, and he quickly pressed his advantage. "When Happi did it, it was 'cause I tricked him for an edge in a fight, and it really freaked me out. When you did it, I was surprised, but I like you-I mean, I wasn't thinking about doing this-and-that when we were trainin', but I wasn't grossed out like it was with the old lech and spent so much time getting close to you-I mean  _it,_  so that might be why we both went a little crazy in the same way-"

"Ranma."

His jaw snapped shut as Sam raised her head. Twin blotches of deep crimson were on the narrow-eye'd, apparently furious girl's cheeks, as she reached up and pinched either side of his jaw and brought his face close to hers. Ranma winced at the emerald fires burning only a few inches from his as Sam stated with calm menace. "You will never tell  **anyone** , not even Clover or Alex, that I made a  _ki_  aura from sheer hornyness,  **or**  that it was powerful enough to brainwash you into fucking me goddamn senseless. Got it?"

"Got it!" Ranma squeaked.

"Good." Sam let go of Ranma's chin, which he rubbed with a wince before she stepped in and pressed her face against his shoulder and proceeded to warm his body with her burning cheeks alone as she moaned in embarrassment, "I can't believe my first  _ki_  aura acted like Spanish Fly..."

Despite the sudden shift in tone , Ranma chuckled lightly as he wrapped his arms around the humiliated redhead who just discovered just how hard being sexually repressed can backfire on the unwary.

However, while a spymaster and three of his agents were to distracted by a conversation with someone who's face had almost ended up on a milk carton missed the pair's conversation, two teenage girls were shrieking with laughter while their best friend was consoled by the boy that all three of them had gotten biblical with.

-AN-

We ain't done yet, bitches! Hopefully this thing won't end up  **dragging**  onwards and still be entertaining to y'all, but I've got more to say now that Ranma's hit the trifecta. (Though not the hat-trick... _yet_ ) Especially since I haven't had anything involving Ranma-chan yet, and that is a very important (and hot!) element that needs to be addressed. Why it hasn't shown up before now though is simply a lack of inspiration, but that will change, hopefully.

Also, I shouldn't NEED to explain most of the jokes in here, but for shiggles, (shits and giggles) Donna called Mandy  _tsundere_  for Clover, and it seemed fitting from Ranma's perspective to associate Clover with Mankanshoku Mako, who acts like a cross between Sailor Moon and a puppy with ADHD that fell into the  _Nannichuan_.

One thought occurs to me, and frankly worries me a bit, is that Ranma is acting like a Marty-Stu. Or rather has become one by dint of 'harem get' and being painted like a huge victim. Trust me, the victim thing is half-accurate, a quarter my interpretation with judicious wiggle room, and a quarter of personal bias on Ranma's part since he isn't  _quite_  dumb enough to tell a bunch of girls that he'd call Akane a "Flat-chested Gorilla Tomboy" and not expect a righteous ass-whupping.

However, that may change in the chapters to come as the story of Britney's trials back in Nerima are revealed. Along with OTHER things...

-Omake…?-

Somewhere far away from Beverly Hills...

Just as a boy, bitter about his flawed upbringing and past circumstances, decides to show an amorous and eager girl a night of passion she wouldn't soon forget...

A figure awoke with a start by a clatter and a loud *crack*.

They sat up, the fitful, indistinguishable nightmare fading quickly as they looked around. Their bedroom looked normal at first blush.

Until their eyes settled on the picture frame lying on the floor.

They blinked quizzically, as the picture had been alone itself on the desk and nowhere near the edge. The figure emerged from their bed and walked over, delicately picking up the wooden rectangle and turning it over.

And froze.

The glass of the frame had split, sending a jagged, uneven crack across the sheet. The part that had caught the formerly sleeping figure's eye was the fact that the crack had almost perfectly separated the subjects of the picture held inside.

A boy with a pigtail, curled up in the lap of a girl with short blue hair, smiling in an affectionate, strangely feline manner as he pressed his lips against the  _very_  shocked bluenette's mouth.

Tears fell onto the glass, and a feminine, utterly heartbroken voice moaned, "Ranma…" in the darkened bedroom.


End file.
